CLASSIC: History's Weirdest Flexes, Part One

Summary

Ridiculous History

CLASSIC: History's Weirdest Flexes, Part One

Release Date: May 28, 2026

Hosts: Ben Bowlin & Noel Brown
Guests: Miles Gray & Jack O’Brien (The Daily Zeitgeist)

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Overview

In this lively and comedic "classic" episode of Ridiculous History, hosts Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown (joined by Miles Gray and Jack O’Brien from The Daily Zeitgeist) explore some of the weirdest "flexes" in human history. They focus on bizarre, petty, or ostentatious displays of status and power by individuals and societies—from the eccentric hiring of ornamental garden hermits in 18th-century Britain to the curious dietary habits of Charles Darwin. The episode balances historical storytelling, thoughtful analysis, and plenty of laughs, with each participant sharing stories and insights about history’s strangest ways of showing off.

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Key Discussions & Insights

1. Defining "Flex" and Setting the Theme

[04:44 – 07:27]

• The hosts and guests establish the meaning of "flex": to show off, boast, or demonstrate status, often in a petty or outlandish way.
• Miles Gray (Guest): “If we go strictly by the urban dictionary definition, [flex] would be a verb in which someone would show off or gloat in a boastful display.” (05:43)
• Discussion about the difference between a "flex" and a "stunt," and the origins of the term "weird flex."
• Jack O'Brien jokes: “Weird flex is actually an accurate way to make fun of somebody for bragging about something weird.” (06:44)

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2. Ornamental Garden Hermits in 18th Century Britain

[07:27 – 14:19]

• Ben introduces the practice of wealthy British landowners hiring "ornamental hermits" to live in their gardens—a peculiar status symbol.
• Hermits were often expected not to bathe, not to talk for up to seven years, and to dress in a "druid-like" fashion (based on little real knowledge of druid culture).
• Ben: “They decided that they would resurrect an old practice of paying someone to be a professional hermit, an ornamental hermit in their garden.” (08:45)
• Discussion on how the trend became widespread, lost its prestige, and eventually "burst" like a bubble (the "hermit bubble").
• Noel: “So there was a hermit bubble. Basically, it burst.” (14:19)
• Comic riffs on the modern garden gnome’s roots in this tradition and LA’s "competitive" garden gnome scene.

Memorable Quotes:

• Ben (on the rise of ornamental hermits): “The facts will never stop you from having a good time with a weird flex.” (13:17)
• Jack (joking about personal stakes): “I have the second largest collection of garden gnomes on the east side of Los Angeles… I’m not gonna brag about that, because that would be a weird flex…” (07:50)

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3. Why Be a Hermit? The Economics and Social Dynamics

[19:21 – 23:15]

• The hosts and guests reflect on how boring upper-class life must have been and how this created "work" for misfit sons or impoverished people.
• Discussion of payment—generally a stipend, room, and board in exchange for seven years of performance.
• Ben: “The usual contract was for seven years. The stipend, though… whenever someone says stipend instead of a salary, you know, it’s not a huge chunk of scratch.” (22:27)
• Dark humor around societal commentary: poverty and the lengths people would go for survival.

Memorable Quote:

• Ben: “Dad has to go off and pretend to be a homeless mystic for seven years so that we can get your leg fixed.” (22:54)

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4. Modern Parallels & Party Entertainment

[20:20 – 22:02]

• Guests riff on modern examples of ostentatious party entertainment as modern analogs (e.g., hiring actors to play Disney princesses, court jesters at Hollywood events).
• Miles: “It’s always a flex even just to hire someone to do something that doesn’t even seem like a job. And you’re like, yeah, I’m paying somebody to do that. That’s because that’s where my wealth is at.” (20:44)
• Connections drawn between ornamental hermits, party performers, and gig economy workers today.

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5. Darwin, Buckland, and the Competitive Eating of the Animal Kingdom

[24:20 – 37:00]

• Jack tells the story of Charles Darwin’s habit of eating every animal he documented—beginning in his student days at Cambridge with the “Glutton Club.”
• List of unusual animals Darwin consumed: puma, iguana, armadillo, giant tortoise, ostrich-like birds (lesser rhea).
• The group cracks up over Darwin’s “reverse Noah’s Ark”—trying to consume, rather than save, one of every animal.
• Fact: Darwin once realized too late that he was eating the very bird he most wanted to study, sending only their “leftovers” back to England for scientific record.

Memorable Quotes:

• Jack: “Darwin started something called the Glutton Club, which was a group of students devoted to devouring, quote, birds and beasts which were before, unknown to human palate.” (24:35)
• Ben: “This is kind of a weird reverse Noah’s Ark kind of scenario where instead of like saving one of every animal, you’re going to eat one of every animal just to show that you’ve got one over on these dumb creatures and that you are… the top of the food chain.” (35:18)
• Jack (on Darwin): “He ate a 20 pound rodent and said it was the very best meat he had ever tasted. So rodent meat is apparently underrated.” (35:50)

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6. Flexes as Historical Status Symbols

[37:27 – 38:13]

• Reflecting on the cruelty and purpose of these historical flexes.
• Ben: “So far we have two, I would say, legitimate flexes. Legitimately weird at least. And both are somewhat cruel when you think about it.” (37:27)
• Recognition that the episode has material enough for a two-parter.

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7. Lighthearted Close: Ninja Turtles and Childhood Flexes

[38:13 – 40:42]

• Group segues into a playful debate about which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle they identify with—the most “ridiculous” of childhood flexes.
• Nods to 90s nostalgia, movies, music, and fan trivia.

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Notable Timestamps

• 04:44 – Defining “flex” and episode setup
• 07:27 – Garden hermits: history’s weirdest landscaping flex
• 13:17 – Peak and decline of the hermit trend
• 19:21 – Boredom and employment in aristocratic society
• 20:44 – Modern analogs: party performers and gig work
• 24:20 – Darwin eats his way through natural history
• 35:18 – “Reverse Noah’s Ark” and scientific flexing
• 37:27 – Summing up: cruelty and the nature of weird flexes
• 38:13 – Lighthearted discussion: Ninja Turtles and personal flexes

---

Selected Memorable Quotes

• On “Flex”:
  “If we go strictly by the urban dictionary definition, would be a verb in which someone would show off or gloat in a boastful display.” — Miles (05:43)

• On Garden Hermits:
  “They decided that they would resurrect an old practice of paying someone to be a professional hermit, an ornamental hermit in their garden.” — Ben (08:45)

• On Darwin’s Appetite:
  “Darwin started something called the Glutton Club, which was a group of students devoted to devouring, quote, birds and beasts which were before, unknown to human palate.” — Jack (24:35)

• On “Reverse Noah’s Ark”:
  “Instead of like saving one of every animal, you’re going to eat one of every animal just to show that you’ve got one over on these dumb creatures and that you are… the top of the food chain.” — Ben (35:18)

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Tone & Highlights

• Playful, irreverent, and self-aware. The hosts and guests lean into banter, jokes, and pop culture references.
• Cultural and historical analysis balanced by comedic detours (Ninja Turtles, LA gnome collecting, Disney princess gig work).
• Sincere curiosity for history’s oddities, with a strong sense of camaraderie and absurdism.

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Takeaways

Part one of History's Weirdest Flexes offers not only a look at history’s most outlandish status symbols and eccentric boasts but also draws clever parallels to modern life, from party planners to career choices in the arts. The episode wraps up with a promise for part two and encourages listeners to find similar weird flexes in their own world—reminding us that the absurd side of human nature isn’t confined to the past.

Transcript

[A]

Fellow Ridiculous historians, thank you as always so much for tuning in. We are presenting two classic episodes that we could not be more excited about.

[B]

Yeah, this one publishes on a day where you typically get a new episode, but we wanted to take a little family time for the Memorial Day weekend. So you're getting a classic, but followed up with our weekend classic being part two of History's weirdest flexes with our buddies Miles and Jack from the Daily Zeitgeist.

[A]

So let's roll the tape.

[C]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.

[A]

As you know, fellow ridiculous historians, yours truly, we recently got back from Baha Mar in Bahamas. We had the most amazing time. One of my favorite things and I'm just gonna name one and you know,

[B]

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[D]

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[E]

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[F]

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[A]

Ridiculous History is a production of iheartradio. Ridiculous History is a production of iheartra. Welcome back to the show, folks. This is Ridiculous History. My name is Ben.

[B]

My name is Nolan. It's not Ridiculous Historians.

[A]

It's not. That's our Facebook group. But hey, look at us. We're getting the plug in early.

[B]

Yeah, Join the Facebook group if you like the show. We always save it for the end. Maybe we'll see a giant spike in activity. A flurry of activity on our Facebook group.

[A]

A cavalcade of content. Speaking of cavalcades of awesomeness, we want to give a to our super producer, Casey Pegram.

[B]

There he is. Look at him. Look at our boy Casey. There he is, the glint in his eye as always.

[A]

Oh, we should mention that today's episode is pretty fascinating to us. We started talking with some friends of ours off air about the most petty or strangest flexes in human history.

[B]

Ben, you're going to have to hip me to this lingo here. What is a flex?

[A]

Ah, well, who better to explain that than our friends that we actually brought on the Air Force? The episode today, the host of one of our favorite podcasts, the Daily Zeitgeist.

[B]

Yeah, we have Miles and Jack from the Daily Zeitgeist Joining us as we speak, gentlemen.

[G]

What's up, guys? Hello. How are you?

[B]

So these guys, Miles and Jack, are the anchors of our Los Angeles operation. They do a lot of comedy. They have this amazing political comedy show that they do every day of the week, and they're kind of the cooler versions of us. So can you guys explain what a flex.

[F]

Flex is?

[A]

Yes.

[H]

Flex, if we go strictly by the urban dictionary definition, would be a verb in which someone would show off or gloat in a boastful display.

[G]

Wow. That was very official, Miles.

[H]

Thank you so much.

[G]

Yes.

[H]

Yeah. So that's what a flex is.

[B]

How is a flex different than a stunt?

[H]

I mean, it's kind of the same thing. A stunt. You're still kind of showing out as you will.

[A]

Yeah.

[H]

But sometimes a flex, you know, it's really about, like, you know, I think coming from flexing your muscles, like, showing how strong you are. So showing off that way.

[G]

I feel like a flex can come from within. Maybe where a stunt can be a stunt would be more like showing off things for.

[B]

Yes.

[G]

I don't know.

[H]

You nailed it.

[G]

You know, thank you so much.

[H]

Yeah, I mean, essentially, it's all the same thing. It's just sort of, you know, and then the gave way to the weird flex phenomenon.

[A]

Right.

[H]

Which is just sort of like, you know, just recontextualizing people's quotes or things to be boastful moments.

[B]

Right.

[H]

Yeah, it's really just about showing off, really. Or. Yeah. Unnecessarily showing your power or wealth or something like that.

[G]

I love weird flex because it has taken over for. People used to say anytime they wanted to make fun of someone for bragging about something weird, they'd be like, humble brag. And they just didn't know what humble brag meant. Right. I think they misunderstood. So weird flex is actually an accurate way to make fun of somebody for bragging about something weird. And we're happy you're here.

[A]

Weird flex, like, for example, setting the record for eating the largest amount of cheese in 24 hours. That's a weird flex.

[G]

That is a weird flex. Yeah. And then bragging about it.

[A]

And then bragging about it.

[B]

Well, and since this is a ridiculous history, today we're talking about weird historical flexes. Ben, you brought this one to the table, so I think maybe you should start.

[A]

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to explore not all of, but some of the weirdest flexes and maybe the most petty power moves throughout this ridiculous thing that we call human history. So I'm gonna lay one Out. Just to set the tone here, we've all heard of garden gnomes, right?

[B]

Which is already a weird flex in and of itself.

[A]

Yeah, it's a strange choice. Very much so, landscaping wise, the fact

[G]

that I have the second largest collection of garden gnomes on the east side of Los Angeles, I'm not gonna brag about that because that would be a weird flex, but I'll just leave it out there.

[A]

But I know East LA is pretty competitive and cutthroat in that regard, right?

[G]

Yeah. Yeah, man. It's taken a lot of work and I just give thanks to my parents for, you know, raising me the way they did and. Yeah, but go on with. I mean.

[H]

Yeah, I mean, Jessica Sable has not recovered since you retook the throne.

[G]

Second most. Second garden gnome prince. The garden gnome king. I'm never going to beat him.

[H]

Vice garden gnome president.

[G]

Yes.

[A]

So this should be. This should be close to you personally, because it turns out that there is a. An historical precedent in the creation of this sort of garden gnome. Well, I guess we can call it an industry now, at least in Los Angeles.

[B]

Culture. Gnome culture is what I'm going to call it.

[A]

The Gnomon culture.

[G]

Gnome life boom.

[A]

So there was this moment, Primarily during the 18th century, when wealthy landowners in Britain said, how can I show my fellow landed aristocrats that I am somehow better than them, you know, without actually doing something to improve myself? And they decided that they would resurrect an old practice of paying someone to be a professional hermit, an ornamental hermit in their garden. And these guys had a really weird gig. First off, they were expected to, in some cases, not bathe, not talk to anyone for seven years. They had to dress like, quote, a druid. But the problem, problem was these wealthy landowners had no clue what a druid actually looked like. So they looked more like the modern version of train kids, you know, minus the stick and poke face tattoos. And the weird thing about it was it caught on. There's a great book called the Hermit in the From Imperial Rome to Ornamental Gnome. Like the rhyme there that traces the evolution of this from back in the 15th century when Francis of Paola was one of the first paid hermits in a cave on his own dad's estate. So how's that for nepotism?

[B]

Let me unpack this just briefly. I just want to make sure that I'm getting the right picture. Go for it. So they're paying, like, smelly hobo types to hang around in their yard?

[A]

Yes. Yep. And in some cases. And they have their Own special kind of like hermit habitats. You know how if you have like

[B]

a terrarium kind of or sort of

[A]

like if you have fish, there's the. The fake ubiquitous sand castle that of course, the fish quote, unquote lives in.

[B]

Yeah, the little diver. Right. A helmet or whatever.

[A]

Yeah. They had a small treasure chest. Yes. Of course.

[B]

That has bubbles that come out, of

[A]

course, with the chest. Because otherwise, what the hell are you doing with this fish?

[F]

So they.

[A]

I'm glad you guys have my back on this. So they have these different tiers of hermitage. Some of them are expected to come out when visitors walk by and then do things that, you know, we would probably find offensive in the modern day, like come up and recite spoken word without an invitation or a solicitation.

[B]

There's literally a dude that hangs out outside my neighborhood bar that does that every time I walk past him and he thinks that I don't remember that. I've already heard the one poem that he has.

[A]

Oh, you're talking about Ticket.

[B]

That's the guy.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's like, he's like, I got a new one. I'm like, bro, it's not a new one.

[A]

I've heard it.

[B]

I literally haven't memorized at this point. And I'm not giving you a dollar at this point.

[A]

I can do his ad libs to flex on him.

[H]

You should come up to him and say, I have a poem for you and tell him his own poem to his face.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, wow. He might even say, I love that. I've never heard that before.

[B]

That's also true.

[A]

So the thing that they were attempting to do with this was to recreate a sort of idealized time in history that never actually existed. The hermits eventually became the inspiration for the gnome sculptures that were so prominent and prevalent today in Los Angeles. But the concept of these being a normal thing in ancient Roman villas and so on isn't that accurate. Like so many 18th century British beliefs, it was based on complete malarkey. It never actually happened in a widespread fashion in ancient civilizations. But that didn't stop people. The facts will never stop you from having a good time with a weird flex. The last thing, the most famous of the ornamental hermits is a guy named John Big with two GS. It's a nice surname. The Denton Hermit. He was not himself a garden hermit, but in a lot of the publications of the time he was called, like the OG Hermit. And they explore, like, how you're supposed to interact with these people. You walk up to them Even if you're the owner of this garden, you walk up to the hermit's hideout or his hidey hole or his treasure chest and you know his equivalent of his treasure chest in his castle. And then you ring a bell or you knock or you say a phrase and then the hermit comes out. And depending upon what the owners want from this guy, they either of course start speaking in weird riddles or spoken word, or they pretend not to see you and maybe silently pray to themselves or work on some, like, I kid you not, arrangement of shells in a way that is supposed to look purposeful and super deep. As you can tell. Yeah. As you could tell, this is a short lived trend. It died out in the early 19th century or so when weirder flexes rose. The thing was, we can only imagine that this stuff was really a status symbol when not many people were doing it. So when the ornamental hermit became closer to being commonplace and its social value decreased because people were like, oh, you've got a. You got a hermit.

[B]

So there was a hermit bubble. Basically, it burst.

[A]

Yeah, like the tulip bubble.

[G]

Absolutely. People start getting cheap knockoff garden hermits, right? Then the whole thing just went down the tubes.

[H]

I mean, the hermit bubble really hurt a lot of people. I remember someone I dated, their family. Oh, they were, they were upside down their entire. When the hermit bubble burst.

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[A]

Now, fellow ridiculous historians, as you may know, we recently returned from a just spectacular oceanfront resort, Baja Mar, over in

[B]

the Bahamas in Nassau. We know what you're thinking.

[A]

Lucky us.

[B]

Must be nice. Well, it was nice. You're not wrong. This was a real special experience for all three of us. Max was there too.

[A]

Yeah, Baja Mar, get this is this just stunning oceanfront resort in Nassau, Bahamas. They've got multiple hotels. It's also, you know what I thought was really cool. It's family friendly and it's adult friendly, if that makes sense.

[B]

Simultaneously, we had some phenomenal dinners. My personal favorite was at Marcus. Had an incredible dry aged ribeye there and these truffle whipped potatoes that were to die for.

[A]

Yeah, and there are water parks. The animal experiences are awesome.

[B]

I jumped off a false cliff.

[A]

So did Max. You can go to the Rosewood Hotel, the sls, and of course where we stayed, the stylishly modern Grand Hyatt. So don't delay. Plan your own [e-mail] Support for the

[E]

show comes from public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stock, stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated as assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com disclosures.

[G]

I feel like this is really a testament to how like this is one of those pastimes from history that really is a testament to how boring life used to be like that people would just go and see a guy who didn't want you to interact with him and like play like a weird like troll password game with them. And it was. Yeah, it's just. And it's also, you know, the, the economy was not overly diverse back in the day, so you know, you needed to create work for your weird son who didn't never wanted to leave the house. And so it sounds like that kind of got it started was just having a kid at home who you couldn't get off the couch. And so you're like, what if we dressed him in weird clothes and made him live under a rock in the backyard?

[H]

And then luckily that gave rise to art school and that people. Not only that, I feel like there's

[B]

another analog here, you guys, in the, in the whole Hollywood universe where you have these glitzy parties where people are kind of paid to just wander around dressed in costumes, whatever the theme is. I could see this being brought back for some sort of weird Flex Hollywood party where you just have these oddly dressed, kind of like court jester types just wandering around and reciting riddles to people. How do you guys feel about this?

[H]

I mean, I think that makes sense. You know, it's, we always, it's always a flex even just to hire someone to do something that doesn't even seem like a job.

[G]

Right?

[H]

And you're like, yeah, I'm paying somebody to do that. That's because that's where my wealth is at. And it's the same thing. Reminds me of even like at bar mitzvahs, there's like pump up dancers that

[G]

you Hire for that?

[H]

Yeah, they're just lightening up the mood. Oh, I don't know them, but I

[B]

hired them because I can.

[G]

My social life currently is mostly. Mostly involves going to 2 to 3 year old birthday parties involving my kids at all, just because that's what I'm into these days. But they. There's always like a Disney princess or some actor who came to Hollywood to chase their dreams. Who was playing? Usually it's Elsa, although I actually saw the bubble burst on Elsa. In the past couple weeks, people just stopped really caring about Elsa and she was literally chasing the kids around because

[H]

nobody would talk to her because they're like, oh, Elsa's. So three years ago.

[G]

Yeah. She was like, I have to do something. This is too awkward.

[B]

Kids are so cruel.

[G]

Yeah, kids are very cruel. So it's not that different, I guess it's just that it's almost like creating. Turning a little part of your garden into a historical reenactment town.

[H]

Yeah.

[G]

Which we also have a woefully inaccurate one. Right, right. Yeah.

[H]

A bit of a step up from traditional slavery. Like, hi, I'll clothe you and you get to kind of just be you or do something weird. Okay, I'll be back. Here's some food. A couple shekels.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

Were they just kind of paid or paid in food and the shelter or.

[B]

That was my question.

[A]

They had room and board. They received a stipend. The usual contract was for seven years. The stipend, though, you know, whenever somebody says stipend instead of a salary, you know, it's not a huge chunk of scratch. But the last thing that was fascinating about this to me and a very, very damning comment on society at the time, is that Britain at the time was full of incredibly destitute, impoverished or homeless people. So of course someone would end up taking this job. And it's not surprising if someone's like telling their kids, all right, goodbye, little Darren, or whatever, dad has to go off and pretend to be a homeless mystic for seven years so that we can get your leg fixed.

[B]

Do you think his children are allowed to visit little Tim? No, no, no, no.

[A]

Hermits don't have families.

[B]

No contact. There's a. No contact.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That is a very, very weird flex. Just societally, I would say that's a

[H]

weird flex, but I think it's kind of. It could come back around.

[B]

Right.

[H]

Where even in this country you have. We have growing populations of just the destitute or people who are not faring well in the economy. And eventually people at the very top could be like, like, oh, yeah, I hired these five people to do Paw Patrol for my kids for three years.

[A]

Right, right, exactly. But that is. That is my. That. That is my first entry into our weird Flex show. And it sounds like we can. We can all agree, oh, maybe that's what we can do at the end. We can. We can vote on whether or not that's a weird flex. I think it is, obviously.

[B]

I think it is, too. And another thing that I think is I think this might have enough weird Flex ammunition to make two weird Flex episodes.

[A]

This. This alone?

[B]

Yes, this alone. I'm just pointing. I'm just putting that out there right now. Fingers crossed. I could be proven wrong. But I would like to throw it to our guests. You talk amongst yourselves. Who would like to go next?

[G]

I could go, by the way, if you guys are George Saunders fans, he's a fiction writer and he has a short story, I think, in 10th of December that is like sort of a weird futuristic version of this where it's like there are people who are paid to reenact lynchings in people's gardens in the near future in the American South. And it's like this weird class consciousness thing that, I don't know, goes off the rails, but it's very, very creepy and interesting story that makes me think he knew about this phenomenon totally when he was writing it. So I want to talk to you guys about a time when the human species was still a little bit insecure about our place on top of the food chain. And this is back when Charles Darwin was kicking around and, you know, he was actually discovering that we weren't all that different from our animal brethren and that, you know, we were all part of the same evolutionary stew as a lot of animals. A thing that a lot of people don't know about Darwin, though, is that he basically ate every animal that he ever documented like that that was his. I. And it's. I mean, he kind of viewed it as part of the scientific process, but it seems to go deeper than that because even when he was a kid at Cambridge, you know, Harvard, if you've seen the social network, you know that they have, instead of like sorority and fraternity houses, they have, like, dining clubs. And at Cambridge, they had something similar. But Darwin started something called the Glutton Club, which was a group of students devoted to devouring, quote, birds and beasts which were before, unknown to human palate. They toasted hawk. They ate a heron like wading bird called a bittern. And they were dissolved after Trying to eat a brown owl, which you're not supposed to eat those. Darwin said the taste was indescribable. So that, that might seem strange for a guy who then went on to devote his life to, you know, documenting animals in their natural hab. Habitat.

[A]

Does it, does it seem strange he might just have a thing?

[G]

Yeah. So. Well, so I kind of always associated him with, you know, science and biology and, you know, putting them. Putting humans in their place on the, you know, in natural history. But he was more about putting us in our place, but then also reminding every animal he encountered that we could still eat them if we wanted to. Because during the course of his, you know, journeys on the Beagle, he ate puma, he ate iguanas, armadillos. He not only ate giant tortoises, he ate like so many of the giant, giant tortoises. He documented that there weren't any left. When he got back to England, he had eaten like 20 something of them.

[B]

Jesus.

[G]

And he tried. He also tried drinking their bladder contents. He said the fluid was quite limpid,

[B]

you know, for science.

[G]

Bitter taste.

[B]

You got to drink the bladder contents for science.

[A]

I have that on a plaque somewhere.

[B]

It's on my license plate. This is incredible because I think of him, and this is obviously misguided, but I've always thought of Darwin as like a conservationist, but that's never even what he was pitched as, honestly. I mean, he was a documenter and he, he, you know, wrote down detailed notes about all these things, but he wasn't exactly out there to, like, save the wildlife. And this just pushes that point home. Go on, man. This is fascinating and bizarre to me.

[H]

It's all. It's all cover, right? I think we have it all wrong thinking, oh, he was some kind of scientist, right? His main goal was to eat as many animals as possible. I think of him as actually the first guy. Fieri really had nothing to do with science. The science bit was just a cover to be like, right? You see Chuck again?

[B]

Yeah.

[H]

He's drinking turtle pee.

[G]

Yep.

[B]

I know.

[H]

He's talking about his evolution thing.

[G]

Yeah, Poor guy.

[A]

Cause even if we're being generous, we can say, okay, one turtle. You know, you might be in a situation when you're like, where am I? When am I gonna be here again? But 2020, right?

[G]

Yeah, look, we've all been to what's the Galapagos island and, you know, tried to eat one of the turtles.

[B]

Well, no, no, no.

[E]

First you gotta ride one after the

[G]

one, you gotta ride the turtle around

[B]

and Then you try it and then you eat it. That's just how you do. That's the order of Operation Galapagos.

[G]

They frown on that in my experience. But maybe you had a cooler guide.

[H]

The first thing I do when I see a turtle is try and dump toxic ooze on it, right? That it will then turn into some kind of hero ninja mutant and it's a numbers game.

[G]

Know this. Miles is wearing a cheese shredder on his face. Like what?

[H]

Shredder? Yeah.

[B]

Do you guys have a guy for toxic ooze, though, is my question. Because.

[H]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[G]

LA man, I can get you toxic.

[H]

We'll talk.

[E]

It's a buyer's market.

[B]

We'll talk off air.

[H]

Yeah, well, it's specialized too. There's certain kinds for mammals and there's other ones for reptiles and ones for insects.

[A]

Yeah, as there should be. That makes sense.

[C]

This is Jenny Garth from I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. You know, history is full of surprising little details. And laundry. Turns out it's got its own fascinating story too, because not all detergent are created equal. Tide Liquid laundry detergent isn't just clean, it's boosted clean for cleaner, whiter, brighter and fresher results compared to Tide Simply. And those stubborn stains that always seem to show up at the worst times. Tide tackles 100% of common stains for every load, every time. Now, if grease is your nemesis, think food spills, cooking splatters. Tide's got 10 times grease fighting ingredients compared to to bargain brands. And it works in a machine in any water condition on all your machine washable fabrics. It's no wonder. Tide was America's number one detergent in sales last year. So if it's got to be clean and it's got to be fresh, it's got to be Tide. Shop now at your local retailer. Tide is a proud sponsor of the Elton John Impact Awards, honoring those who have helped shape a more inclusive and compassionate world with their artistry, advocacy, and unwavering commitment to equality. You won't want to miss the Elton John Impact Awards podcast, available on June 1st on the iHeartRadio app. And everywhere podcasts are heard.

[A]

Now, fellow ridiculous historians, as you may know, we recently returned from a just spectacular oceanfront resort, Baja Mar, over in

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the Bahamas in Nassau. We know what you're thinking.

[A]

Lucky us.

[B]

Must be nice. Well, it was nice. You're not wrong. This was a real special experience for all three of us. Max was there too.

[A]

Yeah. Baja Mar. Get this. Is this just stunning oceanfront resort in Nassau Bahamas. They've got multiple hotels. It's also, you know what I thought was really cool. It's family friendly and it's adult friendly, if that makes sense.

[B]

Simultaneously, we had some phenomenal dinners. My personal favorite was at Marcus. Had an incredible dry aged ribeye there and these truffle whipped potatoes that were to die for.

[A]

Yeah, and there are water parks. The animal experiences are awesome.

[B]

I jumped off a false cliff.

[A]

So did Max. You can go to the Rosewood Hotel, the sls, and of course where we stayed the stylishly modern Grand Hyatt. So don't delay. Plan your own [e-mail] Support for the

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show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio or of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generate assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com disclosures this

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[A]

Did this ever become a matter of controversy In Darwin's life, like, did anybody ever say, hey man, you can just eat one tortoise?

[G]

I mean, I think.

[B]

Right.

[G]

So I think it was actually more common than you would expect because there's also a great scientist named William Buckland. He was the first person to publish a scientific study of a dinosaur. And he made it his life's mission to eat every one or eat one of every animal that existed and even at one point ate a human heart. So, and they exit, they were around at the same time. So apparently this was just a, a way to kind of flex your scientific legitimacy to the world, just be like, yo, this, this is how I get down. I'm showing my superiority over the natural world by putting in it in my stomach.

[B]

You know, it also, it also occurs to me that this is kind of a weird reverse Noah's Ark kind of scenario where instead of like saving one of every animal, you're going to eat one of every animal just to show that you've got one over on these dumb creatures and that you are, you know, the top of the food chain. And they better know that.

[G]

I mean, as a scientist, when you spend that much time around the animals, you really come to understand that. That they think they're better than you.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

That they need to be put in their place.

[H]

Yeah.

[G]

But just two quick facts that I found particularly interesting. He ate a 20 pound rodent and said it was the very best meat he had ever tasted. So rodent meat is apparently underrated. And one, at one point his hunger came into contrast with his scientific drive because he had spent months trying to find this ostrich like bird called a lesser rhea. And he was eating what he thought to be a greater rhea. And about halfway through the portion, or about halfway through his portion of greater rhea, he realized, oh, no, that bone being there means this is actually a lesser rhea, the thing I've been looking for forever. So he had to basically send this animal he was hoping to scientifically document back to England as just a bunch of like chicken bones and skin and feathers because he had eaten most of it.

[A]

So he, he sent them leftovers.

[G]

Yes. Yeah, exactly. He did send it in a styrofoam clamshell container. I have to do it.

[B]

Did he, did he then get diarrhea?

[G]

You can only imagine.

[B]

I had to. I had to. There's the left.

[H]

I had to.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

You are absolved.

[B]

I know.

[G]

Was necessary.

[B]

Thank you.

[G]

Somebody had to say it.

[B]

They had to say it had to be said.

[G]

The cast was gonna feel unfulfilled hold on.

[H]

Let's wait for the judges. And yes, we will accept it.

[G]

We will accept that.

[A]

Thanks for taking one for the team, Noel.

[B]

Yeah, of course. Glad to do it.

[G]

So we really appreciate that.

[A]

So so far we have two, I would say, legitimate flexes. Legitimately weird at least. And both are somewhat cruel when you think about it. You know, I think the gambit was correct in the beginning. I is a two part episode.

[B]

And you know, I really hate it when podcasters say, well, we're running out of time, so we're gonna make this a two parter. Shenanigans. No, our episodes can be as long as we want. We just are trying to get two episodes out of this because we're lazy.

[A]

No. Well, I mean, maybe that's where you're coming from, Noel. I'm not gonna lie. I was gonna walk outside and see if there was some kind of rodent that I could eat for science. Cause apparently that's okay. Now you know.

[B]

Well, Ben, we're very different people. Ben, we're very different people.

[A]

Very different people.

[G]

Lazy and hungry.

[A]

Lazy and hungry. That's it. That's our combo. Before we go on this episode, though, a very, very important question that I know everybody listening is waiting to hear. Which of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is your favorite? Or which one do you identify with the most? I couldn't let it be unsaid.

[G]

I was more of a casual Turtles fan, so I was more Michelangelo. Just the. Everybody's first choice when they're young and first getting to know it.

[H]

Yeah, Michelangelo, he's like a rebel.

[G]

Yeah, he's a rebel who likes pizza, just like me.

[H]

And they all love pizza, but he really loves.

[G]

He loves pizza. Loves.

[H]

Yeah. For me, I was. I liked Michelangelo for the swag, the confidence.

[G]

Yes.

[H]

The rebellious attitude, the weird flex. But in the end, I kind of said I was more of a Donatello guy.

[G]

Okay.

[H]

Because I like blue.

[B]

Donatello was the smart one, right? Didn't Donatello. Wasn't he the sciency guy?

[A]

Yeah. Donatello has inventions. I. Yeah. And BO staff, the bow staff, which is.

[B]

Which is admittedly the most boring of the Ninja Turtles weapons, in my opinion.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I think Michelangelo the Nunchucks are obviously the most fun. He's got two of them. He can swing them around, do all

[A]

kinds of crazy tricks, but he's got no reach, Noel. He's got no reach.

[B]

What do you mean he's got no reach?

[A]

He's got no reach. With the nunchucks, you got to be really active to weld okay, I'm just. My bias is showing. I'm also team Donatello.

[B]

You're on Team Donatello? Yeah. I always liked Raphael.

[H]

Actually, I misspoke. I meant to say Leonardo. Leonardo's the one who wears blue.

[A]

Oh, that's right.

[B]

He did wear blue.

[H]

Yes.

[B]

But Donatello is still the sciency guy. Leonardo was sort of the de facto leader.

[A]

Yeah, he's like the Cyclops of the Turtles X ray.

[B]

That's right. I was always Michelangelo. I'm with that. And I was not a casual Turtles fan. I've seen both the original film and the Secret of the Ooze and the reboot. I know the ninja rap by heart. And I had the cassette called Coming out of Our Shells that was distributed with. With Domino's Pizzas back in the day.

[A]

But did you have this?

[H]

Wow. Did you. Did you. Do you remember that Sam Rockwell is in the first Teenage. That's right.

[B]

Isn't he in the Foot. Isn't he in the Foot Clan?

[H]

Yeah, he's like the main sort of like, forward facing foot guy.

[B]

He's the Big Foot Cigarettes. He's like Fagan from Oliver. He's like, recruiting little street urchin kids.

[G]

Totally.

[B]

I forgot that was his.

[G]

I still stand by that as his greatest work as an actor.

[H]

Oh, absolutely.

[A]

He agrees. He agrees. I think he has gone on record with that.

[B]

Yeah, it's that. And then Moose Moon would be number two for me.

[A]

I really enjoy this. Distant number two.

[B]

Agreed.

[A]

But so we are gonna pause for today's episode. We'll be back with the second part of Weirdest Historical Flexes. In the meantime, we'll forego our usual. This is where you can find us on the Internet. Cause we did that at the front.

[B]

We did it up front. We still have to thank everybody, though. Yeah.

[A]

Yes. We want to thank, of course, our super producer, Casey Pegram. Alex Williams, who composed our track.

[B]

Yes. Our fabulous research associate, Gabe Luzier. Our buddy Christopher Haciotes, who is due for an appearance. I actually had lunch with Christopher the other day, and he really misses us. And he's so happy to see the show doing well.

[A]

Why didn't you invite me?

[B]

It was in a different city.

[A]

Ice cold.

[B]

I'm really sorry, Ben. Next time.

[A]

You're an ice cold dude.

[B]

I am not, Ben. I'm not. I'm a sweetheart. But we'd also like to thank our incredible guests who are gonna stick around, if you would, for part two of this kind of anthology episode on ridiculous history.

[A]

Yeah. Thanks so much for coming, guys. Where can people while they're waiting for this next episode. Where can they hear more more from you, Miles and Jack?

[H]

Oh, you can find us every day on this network on our show, the Daily Zeitgeist every morning or whenever you want to listen to it.

[G]

Yeah.

[H]

And if you're interested in social media, I mean, you can follow me at Miles of Gray, wherever you. Wherever you get your social media.

[G]

Yeah. And Jack, underscore o' Brien on Twitter. And yes, so much of us. You can find so much of us over at the Daily Zeitgeist wherever. Fine. Podcast are given away for free.

[B]

And I guess we can drop our little social media handles too. I on Instagram, Brionic Insider, you can

[A]

see me get kicked into and out of various countries around the world at Ben Bollen on Instagram. So that's, that's all for now. Everybody run off. I'm gonna hunt. I'm gonna hunt some rodents. We're gonna talk about the turtles and maybe re watch Secret of the Ooze and will be back very soon.

[B]

We'll see you next time, folks. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[C]

This is Jenny Garth from I Choose Me with Jennie Garth. History is full of mysteries like how people ever survive before Modern laundry detergent. Luckily, Tides here with boosted stain fighting for cleaner, whiter, brighter and fresher laundry versus Tide. Simply no wonder it was America's number one detergent in sales last year. If it's got to be clean, it's got to be Tide. Tide is a proud sponsor of the Elton John Impact Awards, honoring those who have helped shape a more inclusive and compassionate world with their artistry, advocacy and unique, unwavering commitment to equality. You won't want to miss the Elton John Impact Awards podcast, available on June 1st on the iHeartRadio app. And everywhere podcasts are heard, T Mobile

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[A]

As you know fellow ridiculous historians, yours truly, we recently got back from Baha Mar in Bahamas. We had the most amazing time. One of my favorite things, and I'm just going to name one and you

[B]

know, I got my arm twisted to do a bit of immersion therapy in the form of kicking it with some flamingos and our avian experts there that guided us through this experience were absolutely fantastic and I ultimately had a great time despite my crippling fear of birds. Plan your own [e-mail] this is Jacob

[F]

Goldstein from what's yous Problem? Business software is expensive, and when you buy software from lots of different companies, it's not only expensive, it gets confusing. Slow to use, hard to integrate. Odoo solves that because all Odoo software is connected on a single affordable platform. Save money without missing out on the features you need. Odoo has no hidden costs and no limit on features or data. Odoo has over 60 apps available for any needs your business might have, all at no additional charge. Everything from websites to sales to inventory to accounts hunting. All linked and talking to each other. Check out odoo@o-o o.com that's o d

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[C]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.