CLASSIC: Ancient Mayan Ritual Alcohol Enemas

Summary

Ridiculous History: CLASSIC – Ancient Mayan Ritual Alcohol Enemas

Release Date: November 2, 2024 | Host: Ben Bolan & Noel Brown | iHeartPodcasts

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Introduction

In the episode titled "CLASSIC: Ancient Mayan Ritual Alcohol Enemas," hosts Ben Bolan and Noel Brown delve into one of the most unconventional practices of ancient civilizations—the administration of alcohol enemas by the Mayans. This episode uncovers the intricate cultural, spiritual, and medicinal aspects of this ritual, drawing fascinating parallels between ancient traditions and modern phenomena like "butt chugging."

Connecting Ancient Practices to Modern Terms

The episode opens with a lighthearted conversation between Ben and Noel about contemporary practices such as "butt chugging," a term used to describe the recreational consumption of alcohol via enemas. Ben references a 2018 episode description that highlights the rich and complex histories of Mesoamerican civilizations, setting the stage for a deep dive into the Mayan practice of ritual alcohol enemas.

Ben Bolan [00:31]: “A lot of complex spiritual beliefs, ceremonies, lot of stuff. ... one of the common practices in ancient Maya culture in particular was a ritual involving alcohol enemas.”

Cultural and Historical Background

Ben shares personal anecdotes from his time living in Xela, Guatemala, where he developed a profound interest in Mayan and broader Mesoamerican cultures. The hosts emphasize the importance of understanding these ancient practices within their cultural and historical contexts, moving beyond modern misconceptions.

Ben Bolan [06:16]: “So when I was living in Guatemala, one of the things that constantly astounded me was the wealth of ancient culture there.”

The Practice of Ritual Alcohol Enemas

The core of the episode explores how the Mayans and other indigenous Mesoamerican tribes used alcohol enemas as part of their spiritual ceremonies. These rituals were not merely for intoxication but were deeply rooted in the pursuit of enlightenment and communion with the spirit world. The practice involved using syringes crafted from gourds and clay to administer fermented beverages directly into the rectum, ensuring rapid absorption and heightened spiritual experiences.

Noel Brown [09:35]: “... they did this thing where they gave themselves and potentially each other, ritualistic alcohol enemas.”

Ben Bolan [14:24]: “Ritual alcohol enemas. Because you see, when you are exploring the material crafts left behind by this civilization, you will see a lot of depictions...”

Substances Used: Pulque and Psychotropic Additives

Pulque, a low-alcohol beverage made from the sap of the maguey plant, was central to these rituals. Noel provides a detailed explanation of pulque, noting its modest alcohol content (2-8%) and its significance in daily and ceremonial life. To achieve the desired state of ecstasy, the Mayans often mixed pulque with other psychotropic substances like tobacco and psychedelic mushrooms.

Noel Brown [12:59]: “Pulque, it was actually also called aktli in Nahuatl... it has pretty low alcohol content, ranging from 2 to 8%...”

Ben Bolan [19:47]: “They would add other psychedelic substances, psychotropic substances, and mix them into kind of a cocktail.”

Cultural Significance and Spiritual Goals

The administration of alcohol via enemas was integral to various religious ceremonies, including weddings, fertility rites, and healing rituals. These practices aimed to induce trance states, facilitate visions, and strengthen the participants' connection with deities and the spiritual realm. The efficiency of rectal administration bypassed the liver’s filtration, allowing for a more potent and immediate impact on the mind and body.

Ben Bolan [16:04]: “An enema substance they say may have been transported in liquid form...”

Noel Brown [16:58]: “It was to open up their minds, to achieve this enlightenment...”

Preservation and Continuation of Rituals

Remarkably, the practice of ritual enemas has endured through centuries, surviving colonial suppression and continuing in some modern indigenous communities. This persistence highlights the profound cultural and spiritual importance of the ritual beyond its physical act.

Ben Bolan [40:32]: “You just have to reach the spirit realm naturally...”

Comparison with Modern Butt Chugging

The hosts draw a stark contrast between the ancient rituals and today's reckless "butt chugging," which lacks the spiritual intentions and poses significant health risks. While the Mayan practices were controlled and meaningful within their cultural framework, modern butt chugging is often performed without safety considerations, leading to dangerous levels of intoxication and health complications.

Noel Brown [52:15]: “Kids, don't put alcohol in your butt. No, just don't do it.”

Ben Bolan [43:25]: “It's misinformed at the very least. And the experts have labeled this activity extremely dangerous.”

Expert Insights and Research

The episode references scholarly articles and studies that provide evidence of these ancient practices. Notable works include F.J. Corot Artal's study in the journal Neurologia and Lucia Henderson's article "Blood, Water, Vomit and Wine," both of which explore the medicinal and ritualistic uses of enemas in Mesoamerican cultures. These sources underscore the sophistication and intentionality behind the Mayan use of alcohol enemas.

Ben Bolan [15:54]: “... study, by the way, from the journal Neurologia called...”

Conclusions

Ben and Noel conclude by reflecting on the significance of these rituals, emphasizing their cultural depth and the intention behind them. They caution against modern practices that mimic these ancient rites without understanding their context, highlighting the importance of cultural respect and safety.

Ben Bolan [52:20]: “There are better things you can do. You can reach the spirit realm naturally.”

Final Thoughts

"CLASSIC: Ancient Mayan Ritual Alcohol Enemas" provides a captivating exploration of a lesser-known aspect of Mayan culture, blending historical research with engaging storytelling. The episode successfully bridges ancient practices with modern-day issues, encouraging listeners to appreciate the complexity and intention behind historical rituals while advocating for responsible behavior today.

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Notable Quotes

• Ben Bolan [00:31]:

  “A lot of complex spiritual beliefs, ceremonies, lot of stuff. ... one of the common practices in ancient Maya culture in particular was a ritual involving alcohol enemas.”

• Noel Brown [12:59]:

  “Pulque, it was actually also called aktli in Nahuatl... it has pretty low alcohol content, ranging from 2 to 8%...”

• Ben Bolan [16:04]:

  “When people were doing it, it wasn't to just party hardy without some sort of large plan here.”

• Noel Brown [52:15]:

  “Kids, don't put alcohol in your butt. No, just don't do it.”

• Ben Bolan [43:25]:

  “It's misinformed at the very least. And the experts have labeled this activity extremely dangerous.”

Timestamps Reference

• [00:31] Introduction to ritual alcohol enemas in Mayan culture.
• [12:59] Detailed explanation of pulque and its role.
• [16:04] Purpose behind the rituals.
• [52:15] Public Service Announcement against modern butt chugging.
• [43:25] Dangers associated with modern practices.

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Conclusion

This episode not only sheds light on a bizarre historical practice but also serves as a cautionary tale about the misuse of ancient traditions in contemporary settings. Ben and Noel's insightful analysis underscores the importance of context and intention in understanding historical rituals, making "CLASSIC: Ancient Mayan Ritual Alcohol Enemas" a thought-provoking addition to the Ridiculous History series.

Transcript

[Ben Bolan]

Hey, man, do you remember not too long ago, butt chugging when we learned the concept of boofing?

[Noel Brown]

Yeah, sorry. No, I'm thinking of that story about the frat guys that had to, like, get up and do a press conference with their lawyers or they talked about the practice of butt chugging and the lawyer said it multiple times. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Ben Bolan]

And the kids. The kids acted in this thing that.

[Noel Brown]

They have called butt chugging.

[Ben Bolan]

He paused before every single time he said. Really popped it. Yeah.

[Noel Brown]

Denying it on the behalf of his clients. But this is not something that frat boys invented. In fact, it dates back much, much further than that, into antiquity. The ancient Mayans, in fact, were big fans of squirting alcohol up their butts.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah, yeah. Not to put too fine a cheek on it, but it's weird because we were writing the description for this episode back in 2018. I remember thinking, all right, we have to set out at the beginning that civilizations throughout Mesoamerica have vast and rich history far before Europeans were messing with them. A lot of complex spiritual beliefs, ceremonies, lot of stuff. Right? Very old, very storied civilizations. And you're right. One of the common practices in ancient Maya culture in particular was a ritual involving alcohol enemas.

[Noel Brown]

Let's check it out, y'all.

[Ben Bolan]

Let's chug it out.

[Noel Brown]

Oh, boy.

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[Ben Bolan]

Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartRadio. A tiny bit of trivia to begin today's episode. Friends and neighbors, fellow ridiculous historians. Once upon a time, I, Ben Bolan, lived in Guatemala.

[Noel Brown]

Ben, you always play your tales of adventure in Guatemala very close to the vest. I'm hoping today that will change. My name is Noel, and this is ridiculous history. Why are we talking about Guatemala, Ben?

[Ben Bolan]

I'm so glad you asked, Noel. We're talking about Guatemala today because it leads us into a very strange topic, one that we think you might rightly call ridiculous. Our super producer, Casey Pegram, certainly did off air earlier.

[Noel Brown]

He chuckled.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah, which we took as very high praise. So when I was living in Guatemala, one of the things that constantly astounded me was the wealth of ancient culture there. Especially as you go up into the northern part of the country, Patan. Sure. Then you will see all these amazing ruins that have withstood the test of time pretty well and are currently protected by the government, which is a good thing. And it inspired in me this interest in Mayan culture. Mesoamerican culture, but Maya in particular. And the reason I was so inspired by this is because I was living in a town called Xela, and there's still a lot of Mayan influence there. I remember learning Spanish well enough to get by in the day. And then people would switch to Kiche, the other language they spoke.

[Noel Brown]

I did not know that that was a thing until we started researching this topic today. Man. Should we. Should we let the cat out of the bag?

[Ben Bolan]

Let it roll around, just to say good morning. Because I want to make sure people know that we are. We are being respectful with this. It's a very different thing for both of us.

[Noel Brown]

Okay, Ben, you're really doubling down on this.

[Ben Bolan]

It's just. I think it's just one sentence. We needed to say it. There is such a wealth of cultural practice, a lot of which might seem strange to many of us in the modern day. And recently, Noel, with the help of our pal Christopher Haciotes, we discovered a ritual that we had never heard of. Right. I mean, you hadn't heard of this in this context.

[Noel Brown]

I had not heard of it in this context. What I would like you to do, Ben, is give me a list of three. Cause as we've decided, a list must be three minimum.

[Ben Bolan]

Oh, well, that's the bare bones.

[Noel Brown]

The barrier of entry to a list.

[Ben Bolan]

There we go.

[Noel Brown]

Is three. So give me three cultural oddities that you found in your time in Guatemala, ending with the one that is today's episode that you only found out about just recently.

[Ben Bolan]

Okay. Yes. I'll play these reindeer games so people wouldn't snap their fingers the way that you and I do. Like that. What you do is. And imagine this with us listeners, you take your thumb and your middle finger and you put them Together, So the fingertips touch and then you shake your hand. I can do it with my left hand. And you make a snapping noise. It's tough. You make a snapping noise with your pointer finger against your middle finger.

[Noel Brown]

That sounds like that would wear out your wrists.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah, agreed. I still never quite mastered the trick. Two, and this is one of my favorite things. All those old bluebird school buses that, you know, ferry kids back and forth to school in the States. When they retired, they move outside of the United States, down south, and they become what are known as chicken buses. And they're a mode of transit. If you get a second, look them up on Google, they're amazing. You would love these. In particular, an old. They have a lot of psychedelic colors. There are these amazing mods. And the drivers will take these things anywhere around. Around volcanoes.

[Noel Brown]

Kind of like a crazy Grateful Dead bus.

[Ben Bolan]

And of course, number three, Noel, that we just found out about. I'm going to give the honor to you, my friend.

[Noel Brown]

Yeah, I don't know. This is sort of a hollow setup that I envision, but I mainly just wanted to hear some of the trivia that you had from your time there. But we'll get into more of that later. The third one, and the topic of today's episode is that back in the days of these Mesoamerican indigenous tribes, the Maya, the Inca, the Aztec, the Toltec, the Olmec. We'll get into more of those. There was a pretty heavy focus on getting utterly smashed on everything from fermented plants to psychedelic mushrooms, all in the service of opening up your mind to the spirit world in kind of a shamanistic way. Yeah, but the one that we didn't really know about, this is all kind of on the nose, is that they did this thing where they gave themselves and potentially each other, ritualistic alcohol enemas.

[Ben Bolan]

That is true. We will restate this so that you know you are not mishearing this thing. It's not a Freudian slip of your ear. Ritual alcohol enemas. Ritualistic alcohol enemas. Because you see, when you are exploring the material crafts left behind by this civilization, you will see a lot of depictions on the pottery. Right. Or on the walls of people doing various things. Stories from the mythology of the time as well as daily life. Commemor of the lives of noted figures.

[Noel Brown]

Glyphs, right?

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah, glyphs. And you will also see a ton of what are definitively believed to be animus scenes like you just described, Noel. And they're on the Mayan pottery experts agree that these undoubtedly represent, like. These are not metaphors. They undoubtedly represent a literal activity. And for a while, this was controversial because it sort of. It sort of undermined the image that a lot of people had of the Mayans as a very contemplative, philosophical people.

[Noel Brown]

Stoic.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah, even stoic. They couldn't. They couldn't quite square that with the idea of indulging in ritual acts of ecstasy. There were also displays of characters vomiting.

[Noel Brown]

That's right, Ben. In an article called Blood, Water, Vomit and Wine, author Lucia Henderson discusses the importance of these various fermented drinks that were used in some of these ceremonies. One of them being something called pulque.

[Ben Bolan]

Yes, pulque. And you can find this article online in the Mesoamerican Voices Journal. Pulque is an alcoholic beverage that is made by fermenting the SAP of an agave plant. Specifically a mogue, not mogwai. Be careful, not a gremlins reference. M A G U E Y. And you may be familiar with agave being used in other alcoholic beverages. Right. Even in the modern day. So we know that this was widespread in many different forms. It's almost more of an umbrella term at times. But, Noel, could you tell us a little bit and what it is and what's in it? I know honey is associated with it. Yeah.

[Noel Brown]

So pulque, it was actually also called aktli in Nahuatl, which is the Aztec language. And it's like you said, made from the SAP of this plant, but they actually have to cut into the heart of the plant, which is the part that you. I believe the word was. Yeah, exactly. But the thing is, it actually has pretty low alcohol content, ranging from 2 to 8%, according to an article, Tequila, Mezcal and Pulque by Suzanne Bar Bezot from Tripp Savvy. It's got a really good rundown of the differences because they are all made from agave. But the difference with pulque is that it's made from that heart, kind of like a heart of palm or like an artichoke heart or something. But it's a pretty low alcohol content. So it kind of makes sense maybe that in order to get wasted on it enough to open your mind up to this kind of other dimension, you might need to absorb it a little quicker.

[Ben Bolan]

That's right. The drink had its own goddess. It was very common in the culture. It featured in Tales of Mesoamerican Mythology. And as you said, Noel, it was drunk in moderation on a daily basis. But for these Important religious festivals, you know, weddings, fertility rites, ceremonies of that nature. It was served in more copious amounts. And to really get the bang for their buck, they administered it rectally.

[Noel Brown]

Rectally.

[Ben Bolan]

And we're, you know, we're adults, we can say rectly without giggling.

[Noel Brown]

I mean, we can at least make a game out of not giggling and looking each other directly in the eyes while we say rectally. I'm good.

[Ben Bolan]

I'm golden.

[Noel Brown]

Good.

[Ben Bolan]

Great.

[Noel Brown]

Great.

[Ben Bolan]

How are you?

[Noel Brown]

I'm great. Let's go on. Let's move on with this episode.

[Ben Bolan]

Let's move on. So how did they administer this?

[Noel Brown]

You talked about finding those artifacts, Right, the clay pots and all of that. Another type of artifact that they found. And a lot of this is coming from a study, by the way, from the journal Neurologia called Hallucinogenic Drugs in Pre Columbian mesoamerican cultures by F.J. corot Artal. And one of the bits of evidence outside of the depictions of these ritual enemas on these pieces of pottery were the actual implements used to shoot that stuff up there. They were syringes. This stuff was administered with syringes made from gourds and clay. And if you look at one of the figures in the study, there's a depiction of one of these Mayan ritual enemas. And it's a gentleman laying. What do you call it? Legs. Akimbo, I guess, sort of reclining and splayed. Splayed. There you go. And then you got a priest or some kind of. He seems to be wearing a different garb, and he is reaching down at him with this thing that looks kind of like a lute, but it's actually clearly a gourd. And it's got, you know, the big bulb at the bottom that's obviously full.

[Ben Bolan]

Of pulque or any of the other similar related beverages.

[Noel Brown]

Exactly. Of the region. And it looks like he's getting ready to Give him a good squirt.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah, he's gonna have a rager, right?

[Noel Brown]

Well, apparently so. And we need to backtrack just a touch. We sort of started the episode off by saying that a lot of this was done in service of getting into a trance like state, because the purpose was to achieve enlightenment. We talked about these cultures as being. These Mesoamerican cultures as being perceived as more stoic. And this doesn't necessarily entirely fly in the face of that because they're not doing this just around, you know, their daily goings on. This is all in these. We call it Ritualistic for a reason. It was to open up their minds, to achieve this enlightenment, get into a state of ecstasy and almost like inner peace. And to potentially achieve hallucinations in sort of a vision, questy way. And being able to commune with the gods.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah, that's the idea. It's removing some of the barriers of perception that would exist in normal day to day life. So what we're emphasizing here is that when people were doing it, it wasn't to just party hardy without some sort of large plan here. We also, in addition to the tools or the implements that you mentioned, all the gourds and syringes, we also found these thin hollow bones. We know that there was a practice in some similar cultures where shamans would use a deer bladder and maybe a hollowed out femur bone to pump a substance through the rectum into the body. And there were some, although this thing is rife for some crass humor, there were some definite medical advantages. It doesn't touch your stomach.

[Noel Brown]

It doesn't touch your stomach and it doesn't touch your liver.

[Ben Bolan]

Yes.

[Noel Brown]

And the anus is full of very sensitive vascular tissue that is highly, highly absorptive.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah, yeah. And since there's another point with the liver thing that's really important and I'm so glad you brought this up, the liver would break down hallucinogenic elements. So administering these substances this way, to your point, gives you much more bang for your buck inebriation or hallucination wise.

[Noel Brown]

Yeah, no, it's true. And I wonder if the location of injection was less important than just the fact that it was a more efficient way of achieving that state, especially with alcohol that was relatively lower in potency. We actually skipped the earliest form of this, of intoxicating liquors that they use. It was something called balce that's made by infusing the bark, some sort of broken down version of the bark from a tree called the Loncocarpus longastylis. And then they mix that with honey. This particular kind of honey that's made by bees that have fed said on a morning glory derivative that is very high in something called ergon, which is very closely related to a little something called lsd. Ergyne is lysergic acid amide and it also can be lysergic acid lysergamide. So I think it's a very close molecular connection between that and lysergic acid diethylamide, which is the one that we know about from the, you know, from the Grateful Dead buses earlier in the Episode, Right.

[Ben Bolan]

Or from Fish earlier in Vermont.

[Noel Brown]

It's true. But here's the thing. They would, you know, a lot of times when they were doing these ritual enemas, they would add other psychedelic substances, psychotropic substances, and mix them into kind of a cocktail. And then that's how they would achieve the heights of openness.

[Ben Bolan]

Tobacco, for instance, water lilies. Those all went in there. And you know, the thing about Pulque specifically is that it had an extremely short shelf life, so these other alternatives could exist concurrently. But they were. When we talk about these ritual enemas, whatever the substance was and whatever the specific cocktail mix was, it had the same goal, which was again, to achieve this enlightenment. And I don't know about you, Noel, but I was startled by how much research had been conducted on this. You know, it hit me when I was thinking back on search history and whatever Big Brother would see us looking through that for some time. My search history will be riddled with things like Brian Strauss and Justin Kerr's 1990 article, Notes on the Mayan Vision Quest by Enema. And then, of course, blood, water, vomit and wine. We found a comprehensive breakdown to your point about the specific ingredients in these enemas. We found a comprehensive breakdown of it by a guy named Peter Agm de Smet. Ritual enemas and snuffs in the Americas.

[Noel Brown]

Snuffs being things that you would insult fate, like cocaine, for example. Any number of powders that could be ground down from plant matter. And rather than ingesting it orally, you sniff it up your nose.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah, exactly. And you know what I'd like to make insulfate our word of the day.

[Noel Brown]

It's a peewee thing. Did we mention the fact that this has been going on as far back as 1200 to 400 BCE with the Olmec people?

[Ben Bolan]

We have not. And it's important that we do because we mentioned the phrase pulque and the phrase magui being thrown around, but we didn't mention the actual earliest instances of this practice. And I believe you are correct, sir.

[Noel Brown]

It is the Olmec here is a good detail too. Because the alcohol content in these substances were so low, they would inject them rectally and it would often they would get so intoxicated that they would vomit. And there was part of the ritual, a particular ritual where their vomit would be collected in bags that would then be hung around their necks.

[Ben Bolan]

And this was a way also of publicly displaying your completion of or participation in this ritual. And in the article that Stross and Kerr worked on. They gave us a little bit of background as far as the transportation of this stuff goes. Here's a quotation. The enema substance they say may have been transported in liquid form given the large size of these jars. They had specific enema jars. Right. You can see those. And those are things that bear a lot of these decorations.

[Noel Brown]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Ben Bolan]

So they continue. It's difficult to think of why this would be the case unless some of the ingredients included fermentation based alcohol. It's conceivable the heavy jar was transported empty of liquid and the materials were mixed with liquid on the spot. But unless a large quantity was used at a time, the reason for carrying such a jar is rather a mystery. I love it when people use rather that way. I'm going to start bringing that back. Oh, you should do you have my back on that one?

[Noel Brown]

I have your back on everything, Ben.

[Ben Bolan]

Thanks, man. Likewise. So we know that they had these specific jars. We know the things that were decorated on them. And we know that they had specific recurring characters, which I think is so cool. I'm just a big world building nerd in that regard.

[Noel Brown]

And when we talk about characters too, they actually had these terracotta figures that demonstrated the proper procedure for. I'm trying to think of another way of saying it.

[Ben Bolan]

Administering.

[Noel Brown]

Administering these butt fluids.

[Ben Bolan]

Yes, yes. So we see some common themes. Noel, you described the priest administering something to a supplicant or the receiver.

[Noel Brown]

Yeah, I guess priest is maybe too broad a term. Something of a shaman who is trying to guide this process. And here's the thing. What were these rituals about? They were often things like. About healing rituals where. And I just want to point out too that it was most important for the leader of these rituals, the shaman, to be as open as possible to this spirit realm or what have you. But he would also administer to the supplicants, you know, the participants in. In the ritual you mentioned earlier, I think marriage rituals. We're talking about fertility rights, I think you said. And then the healing wherein someone maybe was ill or. Or dying or wounded. Wounded in some way. And this would be a way to exercise that in some way. And then hopefully to promote healing. Even though there's no real medical efficacy here.

[Ben Bolan]

We'll get to that in a second too.

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You step back to admire your work, hands covered in grease. And because you're committed to driving that thing further than the odometer can even handle, you start thinking to yourself, you know what?

[Noel Brown]

I could probably also use some new brakes, some shocks and struts. This baby deserves a new air filter.

[Ben Bolan]

So you head right back to ebay.

[Noel Brown]

You can find any part you need there. It is unreal. From wipers and headlights to cold air intakes, exhaust systems, and even that turbo you had on your mind, Ebay is.

[Ben Bolan]

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[Noel Brown]

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[Ben Bolan]

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[Noel Brown]

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[Ben Bolan]

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[Noel Brown]

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[Noel Brown]

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Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. We can see some of these rituals or we can glean some of the purposes behind them by again looking at the glyphs, the decorations and the art surrounding these jars because they have these recurring participants. There's Water lily, Jaguar. This is a character who's frequently seen in enema jug scenes. For the enema ritual. He has a turban bib. You'll see him involved in enemas that are associated with sacrificial rites.

[Noel Brown]

Interesting.

[Ben Bolan]

You'll see other characters like Spider Monkey, who is also common in enema jug scenes. And then you'll see things like Drug Bird. That's the name. Jug Bird is distinguished by a beak with a fat out turned end. It doesn't look like any real bird, but it's present in at least four animus scenes that are on these jugs. You have other characters like big lipped frogs and often holding a water lily or something that would be representative of ingredients in a particular type of cocktail.

[Noel Brown]

And then when we start getting into some of the other substances they would imbibe, like psychedelic mushrooms. They even had the Mixtec people had a God called Seven Flowers who is shown holding two mushrooms in each of his hands. But you know who didn't like this behavior? Ben.

[Ben Bolan]

Oh gosh, tell me, who on earth would have a problem with this?

[Noel Brown]

It was the priests.

[Ben Bolan]

The Catholic priest.

[Noel Brown]

The Catholic priests.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah.

[Noel Brown]

The first one, Diego de Landa, he gave this account of experiencing some of this stuff. He said the Indians consumed, which I always think is funny because these are the use of Indian to refer to Mayan people and Aztec people. Right. It's kind of a misnomer, isn't it?

[Ben Bolan]

I mean, yeah, it's lazy naming. The idea was, you know, the name comes from this cockamamie idea that they had landed in the Indian continent.

[Noel Brown]

Oh, and speaking of which, you just posted a really great Mitchell and Webb look sketch on the ridiculous historian's Facebook page that addresses that very thing. Anyway, here's the quote from Diego. He says the Indians consumed alcohol and drugs in immense quantities, which gave rise to many evils, including murders. They made wine from honey, water, and the root of a certain tree. This is describing that bolque that they grew just for that purpose. The wine had a very strong flavor and a putrid odor. Not a fan this time. Not a fan of these rituals. And then, of course, you know, their goal was to turn them all into good Catholics anyway, so any of these, what they would have seen as barbaric kind of rituals probably rubbed them the wrong way with or without the booze.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah. And let's not forget this idea of proselytization on their end was entirely by hook or by crook. The ends justify the means. So we could imagine a bit, we can speculate on how the Spanish forces would have reacted to this. Now, the idea of an enema in general would not have been completely foreign to them. It is, as they say in the Beauty and the Beast, a tale as old as time.

[Noel Brown]

Right. And I mean, you know, enemas are good for, like, one thing, which is.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah, enemas. Over the span of human civilizations. Here's a sentence I didn't think I would say today. Over the span of human civilization, enemas have been used for numerous real or purported medical benefits. They've been used for bowel management. They've also been used, you know, to relieve constipation.

[Noel Brown]

That's the one. Yeah, that's the one that I think is actually accurate, that it can help you with.

[Ben Bolan]

Well, they can also be used to administer other substances directly into the bloodstream, of course. Right.

[Noel Brown]

As we know from our pals, the Mayans.

[Ben Bolan]

Right. Or from your local veterinarian, they may recommend that you give someone a suppository or a pet. A suppository.

[Noel Brown]

I guess so. I guess I think of those as being sort of two different sides of the same butt coin.

[Ben Bolan]

Because enemas would be liquid. They don't have to be. They're smoke enemas.

[Noel Brown]

That's very true, Ben. You are really opening my third eye.

[Ben Bolan]

Oh, boy. Yes. We are a family show here. One thing that was very interesting to both of us when we started exploring this stuff is that there is an entire culture, multiple cultures associated with, again, the real or perceived effects of enemas in a palliative or medical sense.

[Noel Brown]

Absolutely. And if you want a deep dive into this, I highly recommend checking out our sister podcast stuff you missed in history classes. Episod on a fellow by the name of John Harvey Kellogg. But let's give you the broad strokes.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah. John Harvey Kellogg was nowadays best known as a serial visionary. Right. He made Kellogg cornflakes and stuff.

[Noel Brown]

A serial visionary, like he may. He had many visions in quick succession.

[Ben Bolan]

I hope so. Yeah, I hope so.

[Noel Brown]

But he also, you know, came up with what's today still a very popular breakfast item, the corn flake.

[Ben Bolan]

And in his non serial tycoon life, he had very particular and nowadays very strange seeming medical beliefs. Cereal was a side effect of, or I guess an added value. Right. To his primary goal which was improving.

[Noel Brown]

People'S health and stopping them from masturbating.

[Ben Bolan]

Yes. Just like the Graham cracker inventor. Yeah. He saw masturbation as a moral danger and a medical problem.

[Noel Brown]

He was a Seventh Day Adventist and a staunch vegetarian. A health nut.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah. And a huge proponent of enemas. You can read, you could read a great article about this on the Washington Post by Rebecca Fowler. This is one of my favorite titles. Although all the authors reciting here, knocking it out with the titles today. An Enema of the People, Noel. That was what Harvey Kellogg was after.

[Noel Brown]

Isn't that a Blink 182 album? It's an enema of the state of the state. And that's been Casey on the case, ladies and gentlemen.

[Ben Bolan]

And Kellogg himself practiced what he preached. He preached the health benefits of enemas. He also administered multiple enemas a day to himself.

[Noel Brown]

Sure. Like you do.

[Ben Bolan]

Like you do. And the more you dive into this. And yeah, we do recommend the Mist in history class episode. The more you dive into it, the more we see that while he had these very hard line health based principles like no smoking for instance, he really, really, really double down on enemas. Yogurt enemas. That was a big thing that he was a fan of. It seems like you know what, never tried it. But it does seem really messy.

[Noel Brown]

Yeah. I'll take my yogurt orally, thank you very much. But here's the thing. A lot of this was kind of considered to now when we look at it through the lens of science, of modern science to be kind of quackery or at least I don't know, what do you call it when you've got kind of pseudoscience. Right. And that. But it persists to this day. Right. There are people who swear up and down that coffee enemas are the thing. Right, right. And speaking of things you never thought you'd read in your web browser for a work related venture, I found an article called Enema History in the Mayan culture that was sort of a travelogue of a gentleman who visited some of these areas with these ruins to investigate the history of what we've been talking about today. And it starts Thus in 2010, I visited Guatemala in order to responsibly cultivate my relationship with the fairly traded enema coffee that I sell for my colon cleanse clients to use for their coffee enemas at home. And then there's a very helpful link to his fairly traded enema coffee. And it's certified organic, it's low acidity, it's air roasted, and it's higher in caffeine and palmitic acid, and of course, fairly traded. But this gentleman just is a real proponent of this remedy. And it's, it's a thing, it's kind of picking up steam a little bit. And this particular type of cleanse is part of something called the Gerson Therapy that was developed in the 1930s. But the FDA has consistently come out against cleanses of any kind, saying that the science just isn't there and that enemas are really only good for that one thing we talked about earlier, which was, you know, curing constipation as God intended, or, you know, for shooting alcohol up your butt and making you incredibly intoxicated so you can, you know, talk.

[Ben Bolan]

To the spirits or in some cases, medicine to help you. That would happen, right?

[Noel Brown]

Also true. I still think that's different. That's just a rectal administration of, you know what, though? That's, you know, alcohol is not like, it's not water. You're shooting it up there just to get the effects of it. It's not like you're not using it as a cleanse.

[Ben Bolan]

Well, yeah. You know, the thing that I think fascinates both of us is not just how widespread this practice has been, but the fact that it continues today. Unlike several other traditional practices in Mesoamerica, this practice survived colonialism and some tribes still practice it.

[Noel Brown]

It's true.

[Ben Bolan]

And additionally here even we record in the United States as, you know, long time listeners here it is also a popular thing, but under a different name.

[Noel Brown]

Oh, man, do we get to say it now?

[Ben Bolan]

Yes, you have waited long enough.

[Noel Brown]

Butt chugging.

[Ben Bolan]

You say it, you say it, right? I'm going to say it in a posh British voice. Butt chugging.

[Noel Brown]

But no, that just sounds like you're saying, but chugging is not good for you. You should drink more gentlemanly like, and slower, at a medium pace. I need you to say butt chugging.

[Ben Bolan]

I Feel like that's your voice. Okay.

[Noel Brown]

You don't have to say it in that voice. I just want you to really lean into it.

[Ben Bolan]

A rowdy bottom chug.

[Noel Brown]

Okay, that's good. That's fine.

[Ben Bolan]

That's great. What are you talking about?

[Noel Brown]

Hey, man, you do you. I'll do. Obviously, I am more excited about butt chugging than you are, and that's fine. We're two different people. We can have our own feels about things.

[Ben Bolan]

So butt chugging essentially is administering alcohol rectly without the purpose of pursuing some great spiritual revelation or epiphany. It's recreational.

[Noel Brown]

Yeah. There was a case back in. Oh, when was it? 2000? 2014. That's not true. It was a little earlier than that. 2014 was when the fallout kind of went down. It was in 2012 where a fraternity at the University of Tennessee, the PI Kappa Alpha chapter, got into a little hot water when an underage student named Alexander P. Broughton went to the hospital after a real rager, as they say, with an alcohol blood alcohol level of.

[Ben Bolan]

0.40, which is five times the legal limit, and in what doctors call the death zone for alcohol poison.

[Noel Brown]

Yeah. And they examined him and decided that he had been penetrated in some way. They said there was signs of sexual assaults. And it came out that the investigators believed, rather than him having been sexually assaulted in some way, that he had this alcohol administered Erectile.

[Ben Bolan]

Right.

[Noel Brown]

With a length of hose.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah. Yeah. And there's a misconception amongst many people, or there was at the time, that inserting alcohol into any other orifice would reduce the chances of vomiting from a hangover or something like that.

[Noel Brown]

That seems off.

[Ben Bolan]

It's misinformed at the very least. And the experts have labeled this activity extremely dangerous. Because think about it, you know, if first off, if this is being done to someone as another ritual, like a fraternity hazing ritual or something.

[Noel Brown]

Oh, yeah.

[Ben Bolan]

Then safety is not prioritized near as much as it should be.

[Noel Brown]

Absolutely not, man. Whenever I. Have you been to a fraternity party before?

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Noel Brown]

I've only been to one and it was well after I had graduated from college. And I have to say, I was shocked, Ben. I was shocked.

[Ben Bolan]

Were you clutchy?

[Noel Brown]

Just the depravity. I mean, I just thought there was like a. Like a very, like slight 22, 23 year old girl in a devil costume walking around pounding a handle, mind you, of vodka all by herself. Like that was her beverage for the night. I was, you know, I like a good. A stiff drink.

[Ben Bolan]

Sure.

[Noel Brown]

As much as the rest of them, but I was taken aback. But here's the thing with this story about from ut. Yeah, it turned out that it was very important to the father of this young man and the fraternity and their lawyers to make it very clear that no butt chugging took place. In fact, there is a delightful clip you can find. We're not going to play it here. You can see that if you want where their lawyer says the phrase butt chugging no less than 15 times in this press conference. And it is. It's a hoot. He claimed the boy that he was participating in a party called the Tour of Franzia because when they went back to investigate the scene they found like those wine box bags. If you open up the box of wine, sometimes called a space bag, a space bag. They found those littered everywhere and a lot of passed out fraternity brothers there. And the Tour de Franzia is I guess where you just drink bad white zinfandel until you black out.

[Ben Bolan]

Sounds like a very niche audience here. Or a very niche party. But despite the hilarious name of butt chugging, the dangers and effects of this are very real.

[Noel Brown]

Felt like you really owned it when you said it that time. Ben see Gladiator 2 only in theaters November 22nd.

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[Noel Brown]

You know what you love more than your car itself is driving it. You're serious when it comes to engine maintenance and locked in when you're headed into a build.

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And that's exactly why you start with ebay. Minor fix or complete overhaul? You want to get your ride back on the road, and you've got ebay guaranteed fixed.

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Required, regulatory fees included for qualifying accounts. $35 connection charge applies. You know what's funny about this Noel, is we hope everyone has enjoyed learning about these ritualistic practices that maybe with different aims continue today in the in the modern world. But I got to tell you man, I am. I'm a little at odds about how best to end this because it's lovely when we end on questions so we can hear from you friends and neighbors. But I think we should be careful what questions we ask on this one.

[Noel Brown]

I think we should do it. I would like to do a little PSA here and say kids, don't put alcohol in your butt. No, just don't do It.

[Ben Bolan]

Don't do it.

[Noel Brown]

Just don't do it.

[Ben Bolan]

Don't do it.

[Noel Brown]

It's not worth it.

[Ben Bolan]

There are better things you can do.

[Noel Brown]

You can reach the spirit realm naturally.

[Ben Bolan]

You can meditate, exercise. Yeah, you can climb a tree. Yeah, climb a tree. You know what? Go look at the stars.

[Noel Brown]

They're beautiful this time of year.

[Ben Bolan]

They're beautiful all the time. And on that note. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Ah, you know what it is?

[Noel Brown]

It's been so long, I didn't think it was ever gonna happen again.

[Ben Bolan]

It's always gonna happen.

[Noel Brown]

It's time.

[Ben Bolan]

Gentlemen, Jonathan Strickland, the Quister. You've returned yet again to bedevil us with fact and fiction.

[Noel Brown]

And you're in top wickedly gleeful form, my friend. I mean, my bitter enemy.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes, and, well, flattery will get you nowhere.

[Ben Bolan]

So this is again as a surprise to us, as it always seems to be when we're about to end the episode. This, this is the part of ridiculous history wherein our long standing nemesis, Jonathan Strickland, the Quister, returns to give us a fact. And Noel and I must determine whether it is true or it is false. We have three minutes. Yes, and that timer on this gigantic grandfather clock behind us does not start until after you have stated the. The claim.

[Noel Brown]

More of a. More of a great grandfather clock, isn't it?

[Jonathan Strickland]

And we should point out that I also always give you an arbitrary rule you must follow every time. This time, because we are talking about alcohol. I got you a nice. A nice adult beverage. Oh, wow.

[Noel Brown]

It's a cold one.

[Jonathan Strickland]

So before any question, you must pop that open, take a swig, and then, then say, I got. I got one for you, Quister.

[Noel Brown]

And just to. Are you. Have you had a few? You sound a little.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Define a few.

[Ben Bolan]

The. The word. I. The euphemism I've always liked to use is charming. No, I think Noel saying you sound a bit charming.

[Noel Brown]

Quis nothing if not charming.

[Ben Bolan]

That's true.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I'm so charming. The room is spinning right now.

[Noel Brown]

Okay.

[Ben Bolan]

All right.

[Noel Brown]

I hope that you administer this alcohol orally.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Well, you know, day's young.

[Noel Brown]

That's fair.

[Ben Bolan]

That's true. So we, we will have to pop the first time we ask something and then after that just sip.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Right. Assuming that you have to ask anything at all, you may, you may feel very confident and not have to ask any questions.

[Noel Brown]

And just to point out to the listeners at home, it is approaching 5. So I think it's. It's perfectly appropriate.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Sun's over the yard. Arm somewhere.

[Noel Brown]

Indeed. All right, let's do this.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah. Knock it out.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Here's your scenario. And guess what?

[Ben Bolan]

What?

[Jonathan Strickland]

It's a long one. Here we go. Since 1863, every year on January 15, in Nozawa Onsen, Japan, there is an interesting sake fueled ritual that pits villagers against each other, all in the name of the Shinto religion. All men who are either 25 or 42 years old are conscripted to guard a wooden shrine constructed just for the event. The men are encouraged to drink sake. A lot of it. Like half a gallon of the stuff of more. The purpose for drinking that much is to imbue the young men with the courage to face what comes next. That next thing is a priest endows the shrine with a dozen or a protective travel spirit associated with crossroads. The drunken 25 and 42 year olds must then defend the shrine against all the other men of the village who arm themselves with torches and attempt to burn the shrine down. At least one person has died from injuries sustained in this yearly festival, and many receive serious injuries. The whole ceremony originally was meant to encourage a good harvest. These days, it's also to wish for a profitable skiing season.

[Noel Brown]

You need some water, man?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Begin.

[Ben Bolan]

Okay. All right. I am officially starting the timer. I got one for you.

[Jonathan Strickland]

All right, hit me. Hit me, mister.

[Ben Bolan]

All right. So why are they only 25 and 42? And they're not a range change, right? It's not everyone, 25, 242. It's those ages specifically.

[Jonathan Strickland]

An excellent question. Many Japanese traditions are based in superstition and the festival is no different with the 25 and 42 year old in the village chosen to take on the special roles because those are the so called unlucky ages for men.

[Noel Brown]

Of course, he had an answer for.

[Ben Bolan]

Him, that's, you know, that's almost suspicious. There we go. There we go.

[Noel Brown]

Why are you so horrible?

[Jonathan Strickland]

It just comes naturally. I guess that's fair.

[Ben Bolan]

That's it?

[Noel Brown]

Yeah. I don't know, man.

[Ben Bolan]

I thought you were bringing the fire. I got.

[Noel Brown]

No, he puts out my fire. He extinguishes me like one of those torches in this potentially untrue story.

[Ben Bolan]

So we're at two minutes. Hang on, I got one for you.

[Jonathan Strickland]

All right. Hit me.

[Ben Bolan]

Mr. Bob, what is what. What year did this originate in again?

[Jonathan Strickland]

1863.

[Ben Bolan]

Okay. Damn it. I got one. All right. Yeah.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Starting to back up on him.

[Ben Bolan]

What is the. What town is this in again?

[Jonathan Strickland]

It's in Nazawa, which is at the base of a mountain range.

[Noel Brown]

Oh, what is this, like some kind of generic Just as beer.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yep.

[Ben Bolan]

It just says beer.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Just. Just store brand beer in a white can with the word beer on it.

[Noel Brown]

Skunky. It's like a prop you'd see in a movie.

[Ben Bolan]

I couldn't at least bring Natty Light?

[Noel Brown]

Come on, man.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I honestly found it, like, in the basement, but go ahead.

[Noel Brown]

Yeah. I don't know, man. There's so many things like. Can't you just give us a quick A to B kind of like scenario?

[Jonathan Strickland]

I thought this was a quick one.

[Noel Brown]

No. No.

[Ben Bolan]

Well, we are at 50 seconds.

[Noel Brown]

Okay.

[Ben Bolan]

What?

[Noel Brown]

The torches, the burning down. Why the men. I think it's not true. It seems like, Ben, that there's parts of this. I know there are rituals like this that they do. There's like the sake ceremonies where they even, like, you know, spit the fermented. The rice and the little they put. They make their sake, spit the rice, chew it up and spit it into a cube within the. They cover it and bury it and then it's like a whole thing. It was in a movie I saw.

[Ben Bolan]

I just feel. Because I'm such an optimistic person, I feel burned every time. I guess. True. And it's not, you know. Okay. I just want to believe in stuff too much.

[Noel Brown]

I know, I know. I guess I just feel like, why would they risk burning down infrastructure?

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah. You want to go? Not true. Five, four, three. Okay, we're going to lock it. We didn't lock it in yet. Stop looking at me that way, Quister. That's our time. He's given me a look.

[Noel Brown]

Well, you know, you never know with.

[Ben Bolan]

Okay, all right, we'll say it then.

[Noel Brown]

Let's do it. Not true.

[Jonathan Strickland]

You poor idiots. You poor idiots.

[Ben Bolan]

It's true. Son of a fish.

[Jonathan Strickland]

It is absolutely true. I gave you this on a platter.

[Ben Bolan]

Did you say platter or bladder?

[Noel Brown]

Platter.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Listen, I've had a few.

[Ben Bolan]

You all right, listen, listen, listen, man.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Boland, listen. I had to make sure it was good stuff that I brought you.

[Ben Bolan]

Oh, listen.

[Jonathan Strickland]

All right, so anyway, yeah, no, this is one of the three big fire festivals of Japan. It's actually one of the most famous. It's been covered with various news outlets like NPR and. I mean, it was. The Internet is lousy with information about this thing. And I thought for sure one of you would have heard about it since it's so crazy.

[Noel Brown]

Have you heard about the one with the rice, though, where they spit that one?

[Jonathan Strickland]

So what is happening here is the Doshin is a Shinto spirit that is considered to be a kindly spirit that helps Travelers. And so the priest from the nearby shrine supposedly imbues this temporary shrine, this model of a shrine that's been constructed over the course of a few days by about 100 villagers with the spirit of a dozen. The whole purpose is to burn it. It's almost like an offering. And so they build a big bonfire out of various pieces of very flammable stuff and lots of little dolls and things that represent various elements of the culture. And then the men of the village, they light their torches. They are supposed to eventually burn the thing down. I think that's also one of the reasons why the defenders are encouraged to get almost blackout drunk.

[Noel Brown]

That seems dangerous with the fire and drinking.

[Jonathan Strickland]

A guy died doing this once, and.

[Ben Bolan]

Lots of people get that. We know of one that we know of.

[Noel Brown]

In my defense, in our defense, when you say shrine and you're talking about a village, I think I'm picturing a building that's meant to stay there.

[Jonathan Strickland]

No, this was absolutely just constructed for the purpose of the festival.

[Noel Brown]

That's what threw me. That's what threw me.

[Ben Bolan]

And a lot of those buildings are created from wood rather than stone.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes. This one is like.

[Noel Brown]

You risk burning down the whole village, though. Like.

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Strickland]

The pictures of this, by the way, are phenomenal. It happens January 15th every year. So if you guys, you know, if we don't want to do a ridiculous history on the road, I'm just saying.

[Ben Bolan]

Extra credits.

[Noel Brown]

January 19th.

[Jonathan Strickland]

January 15th.

[Ben Bolan]

Be there.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yeah.

[Noel Brown]

Let's get the bosses to pop for Japan tickets.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yeah.

[Ben Bolan]

Len, just for fun, let's find one of our co workers that is either 42 or 25 and not tell them what's going down to where you land.

[Jonathan Strickland]

You know what age I am this year, right? 42. I just missed it.

[Noel Brown]

Well done.

[Ben Bolan]

Well done.

[Noel Brown]

Yeah. I can't even be mad. That was good.

[Ben Bolan]

I love learning new stuff. Noel. So, although, Quister, I do feel like you put a lot more work into gloating about today than you did into doing the question. I applaud you.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I gave you so many hints. For one thing, just the last time I was on here, you mentioned that when I do a really long one, it means it's fake. I did another really long one just so that you would know it was real.

[Noel Brown]

And you still chose fake.

[Ben Bolan]

I could tell by the way you were looking at me, man.

[Noel Brown]

I should have flipped it.

[Ben Bolan]

Should have. Yeah, but we're a team, dude.

[Noel Brown]

We are a team.

[Ben Bolan]

We're a team.

[Noel Brown]

We're a team. We got each other's backs.

[Ben Bolan]

I don't want to do a last minute flip. And we have your back, folks. Thank you so much for tuning in. And Quister, thank you for coming on the show.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Enjoy your beer.

[Ben Bolan]

Thank you for the. Thank you for the unlabeled generic basement beer.

[Noel Brown]

Not to say swill.

[Ben Bolan]

Well, that's it for us today. However, if you would like to learn more ridiculous history, if you would like to hang out with your fellow ridiculous historians, boy, do we have good news for you.

[Noel Brown]

Yeah, you can do it on the Facebook. You can just go on the Facebook page for the show. Or if you want to take it up a notch, you can join our Facebook group, the Ridiculous Historians, where I hear that pretty soon we're gonna see pictures of super producer Casey's very lucrative childhood modeling career.

[Ben Bolan]

Right?

[Noel Brown]

Headshots. I hear there's catalog spreads.

[Ben Bolan]

Spreads. Yeah.

[Noel Brown]

You know, probably gonna be some oshkosh Bogoch involved.

[Ben Bolan]

We'll get to see him with an assortment of fake parrots, from what I hear.

[Noel Brown]

Yeah, good stuff.

[Ben Bolan]

Good times over.

[Noel Brown]

Good times over on the Ridiculous Historians. You can also do us a solid and leave us a kindly review on itunes. Because, you know, why wouldn't you?

[Ben Bolan]

Yeah, we always like to hear from you. And do remember to tune in for our next episode where we nail down the mystery behind the name of California.

[Noel Brown]

Spoiler alert involves a badass Amazonian queen and weaponized griffins. Yes. Yes.

[Ben Bolan]

Yes. What the heck are you guys talking about? We'll find out on our very next episode. In the meantime, that's all for today. Thank you so much. If you are participating in any of the stuff we mentioned in this topic. Not to sound too much like a worry wart, but we, we, all of us, the Quister and Casey included, hope that you are safe and make responsible decisions indeed.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I can't open the door, guys. I can't. I can't. I'm.

[Ben Bolan]

I'm.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I'm too far gone.

[Noel Brown]

It's cuz your hands are so tiny.

[Ben Bolan]

Let's get some torches.

[Noel Brown]

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