Podcast Summary: Ridiculous History: CLASSIC – How Louisiana Almost Became a Hippo Ranching Hub

Podcast: Ridiculous History by iHeartPodcasts
Air Date: January 6, 2026
Hosts: Ben Bowlin & Noel Brown
Featuring: Jonathan Strickland (The Quizter)

Main Theme:

The episode explores the early 1900s movement that almost transformed Louisiana into a hub for hippo ranching, aiming to solve the United States' meat crisis by importing hippopotamuses as livestock. The hosts dive into the historical background, the main characters behind this eccentric plan, its surprising political traction, and the weird, winding road that led—almost—to "lake cow bacon."

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene & Hippo Facts (03:36)

• Year and Mood: The hosts return in 2026, reflecting on future predictions and their usual banter before diving into history ([00:00]-[01:09]).
• Fun Hippo Facts:
  • Hippos cannot swim or float—they walk on the riverbed ([03:36], Ben).
  • Sometimes called "lake cows" or "land cows" (later corrected).
  • Hippos have “straight seahorse teeth” ([04:01], Ben and Noel banter).
• Personal Note: Ben recounts reading up on hippos during a recent trip to Korea ([06:12]-[06:46]).

2. The Great American Meat Crisis (08:08)

• Context:
  • Early 1900s America faced a severe meat shortage due to population growth, overgrazed pastures, and insufficient beef production.
  • Alternatives like vegetarianism weren’t considered viable; discussions even included eating less traditional animals such as dogs ([08:29]-[09:30], Noel & Ben).
  • The “meat question” became a national concern ([10:08], Ben).

3. The Wild Proposal: Importing Hippos (15:15)

• Congressional Solution: Robert Broussard, Congressman from Louisiana, proposed importing hippos from Africa to solve two problems:
  1. Meat shortage—hippos as a new food source.
  2. Invasive water hyacinth in Louisiana’s swamps—hippos would eat the plants and thrive in marshland ([15:15]-[17:36], Ben & Noel).
• Notable Quote:
  • “They said, let’s introduce another invasive species to solve our original invasive species problem.” ([21:04], Ben)

4. The Eccentric Champions: Burnham and Duquesne (13:02, 18:20)

• Frederick Russell Burnham:
  • Famed outdoorsman, inspiration for Indiana Jones, and foundational figure for the Boy Scouts ([13:02]-[13:51]).
  • described as "the man with the most complete life ever lived" ([13:35], Ben).
• Fritz Duquesne:
  • Cunning, “super sketchy” Boer war veteran, con man, and lifelong rival to Burnham ([18:20]-[19:08], Ben).
  • Notable Quote: Burnham called him the “human epitome of sin and deception” ([19:08], Ben).
  • The two were literal rivals—tasked with assassinating each other during the Boer War, only to team up later for the hippo cause ([19:32]-[21:20], Noel & Ben).
• New Food Supply Society:
  • Burnham and Duquesne, despite past animosity, lobbied together as “experts on African wildlife” to push the American Hippo Bill ([21:20]).

5. Political Momentum & Public Reception (22:19)

• The American Hippo Bill:
  • Sought $250,000 to import hippos to Louisiana’s swamps, supported by former President Theodore Roosevelt and the New York Times, which called hippo meat “lake cow bacon” ([22:19]-[22:52], Ben & Noel).
  • Fritz gave expert testimony to Congress—at one point, the bill looked likely to pass.
• Sudden Decline:
  • The plan fizzled quietly due to advances in industrial agriculture, rendering hippo imports unnecessary ([23:35], Ben).

6. Aftermath & Speculation (26:00)

• Alternative History Musings:
  • The hosts consider how America’s relationship with food and livestock could have been more regionalized if the plan had worked—e.g., “You have to go to Nebraska to get a good hamburger” ([26:00]-[26:37], Ben & Noel).
  • Reference to Michael Pollan’s advocacy for local food and the “farm-to-table” philosophy ([27:16], Ben).
• Recommendation: For more, read John Mooalem’s "American Hippopotamus" on The Atavist ([28:34], Noel).

7. The Quizter Segment – Fritz Duquesne’s Many Lives (30:07)

• Jonathan Strickland (“The Quizter”):
  • Appears to challenge the hosts with a historical “real or made-up” scenario game focused on Fritz Duquesne and spies ([30:07]-[34:33]).
  • Scenario revolves around the supposed rivalry between Duquesne and an English spy with a wooden leg, drawing (misleadingly) from Virginia Hall’s real story ([36:32]-[38:11]).
  • Notable Exchange:
    • “This just warns you that you can’t necessarily believe anything about Fritz Duquesne.” ([38:11], Jonathan)

8. Memorable Wrap-Up & Community Shout-Out (42:24)

• Running Gags:
  • Ongoing playful feud with musician Sheryl Crow as their “primary critic” ([41:53]-[42:33]).
  • Closing thanks to their “nemesis” Jonathan, their producer Casey, and listeners, with plugs for their Facebook group “Ridiculous Historians” ([45:20]).

Notable Quotes

• “If things went just a little bit differently in the 1900s, your supermarket might have ended up with hippo filets.”
  — Ben Bowlin ([01:40])
• “He was the human epitome of sin and deception...a walking, living, breathing, searing, killing, destroying torch of hate.”
  — Ben on Fritz Duquesne, quoting John Mooalem ([29:19])
• “Let’s introduce another invasive species to solve our original invasive species problem.”
  — Ben Bowlin ([21:04])
• "The New York Times wanted to call this stuff lake cow bacon."
  — Ben Bowlin ([22:52])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro & Banter: [00:00] – [02:18]
• Fun Hippo Facts: [03:36] – [04:17]
• The Meat Crisis & Why Hippos?: [08:08] – [10:34]
• Main Characters (Burnham & Duquesne): [13:02] – [19:08]
• Hippo Bill and the Plan’s Details: [21:04] – [23:35]
• Plan’s Demise & Food System Reflection: [24:07] – [28:34]
• The Quizter & Fritz’s Legendary Exploits: [30:07] – [39:39]
• Sheryl Crow & Running Gags, Closing: [41:53] – End

Episode Tone & Character

The tone is irreverent and playful, filled with comedic banter, tangents, and the hosts’ signature self-effacement (“This is a throwaway episode ... consider ours the CliffsNotes” – [05:19], Noel), but also surprisingly informative. The addition of “The Quizter” (Jonathan Strickland) brings a game show vibe and friendly rivalry.

This episode is a perfect entry point for anyone fascinated by the odd turns of American history, the near-misses of culture, and how one wild idea—from hippo fillets to “lake cow bacon”—never quite made it onto American dinner plates.