CLASSIC: When Vikings Loot The Wrong Town

Summary

Ridiculous History: "CLASSIC: When Vikings Loot The Wrong Town" (October 16, 2025)
Podcast by iHeartPodcasts
Hosts: Ben Bowlin & Noel Brown

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Episode Overview

In this classic episode, Ben and Noel dive into one of history’s most absurd Viking blunders: the time infamous raiders Hosteen the Raider (aka Halfdan, Hasteen, or Alsting) and Bjorn Ironside set out to sack mighty Rome, only to discover—too late—that they’d stormed a completely different city. Through witty banter, speculation, and some historical skepticism, the episode explores Viking culture, the legend’s roots, and the fine line between fact and embellishment in medieval tales.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Allure and Identity of Viking Raiders

[04:16–06:11]

• The hosts open by joking about possible Viking ancestry and the quirks of red beards and heterochromia.
• Discussion on Viking nicknames (e.g., "Hosteen the Raider"):
  • Ben: "How many raids do you have to accomplish... for that to become part of your name?" [05:27]
  • Nicknames sometimes self-bestowed; others, like Charles the Bald, might be less flattering and given by enemies.

Background: Who Were Hosteen and Bjorn Ironside?

[07:13–09:16]

• Hosteen: Viking chieftain from the 9th century, possibly son of legendary Ragnar Lothbrok—or might have claimed the bloodline for prestige ("ship cred").
• Bjorn Ironside: Often depicted as Hosteen’s brother, also purported son of Ragnar.
• These figures may appear in pop culture (e.g., the show Vikings), though shows take “liberties” with history.
• Historians urge caution—these oral tales often blend fact and legend.

Viking Raiding Culture and Famous Exploits

[09:18–12:08]

• Viking “raiding economy” made prowess in pillaging a key status symbol.
• The sacking of Paris (845) by Ragnar Lothbrok: 5,000 Vikings plunder the city; King Charles the Bald pays a massive ransom to make them leave, but Paris faces repeated sackings.
• “Raids are cool…but Paris has kind of been done. Let’s go for something bigger.” [11:38]

The Mediterranean Campaign and a String of Defeats

[13:02–17:27]

• Hosteen and Bjorn lead a fleet from France, down the Loire, along the Iberian peninsula, into Muslim Spain (under the Umayyad Caliphate).
• Local resistance on the coast of Galicia proves tough; a shift to easier targets and pirate-like tactics.
• Ben: “They did not have a flawless record.” [14:01]
• Moorish fleets in Spain defeat the Vikings using superior naval tactics & incendiary weapons.
• “They get the horns slapped off the helmets—which, by the way, is a stereotype.” [17:27]

The Plan to Sack Rome

[23:56–26:38]

• Rome: the “crown jewel of sackable places” in a Viking’s mind—full of wealth and status.
• Source of this legendary blunder: Norman monk Dudo of St. Quentin, who wrote an early Norman history.
• Vikings, fresh from raids across Africa and southern Europe, land in Italy and think they’ve arrived at Rome.
• “Holy smokes, bro. We made it. We’re in Rome and we’re about to get down.” [25:16]

The Trojan Horse Ruse

[26:38–29:05]

• Realizing they can’t take the city by force, the Vikings attempt subterfuge:
  • They plead exhaustion at the city gates, request provisions, and claim Hosteen/Halfdan seeks baptism and a Christian burial.
  • In some retellings, they bring in a “dead” Hosteen in a coffin; in others, he gets baptized and feigns illness, then is carried back to the ships.

The Blunder Revealed: Sacking the Wrong Town

[29:05–30:16]

• The Vikings are allowed into the city for the burial, then turn on their hosts, launching a surprise attack.
• Only then do they realize they've not sacked Rome, but Luna—an entirely different Italian city.
• Noel: “A quite embarrassing realization… what did they realize?”
  Ben: “They had successfully sacked the wrong city. A completely different city. They were Viking rubes from the wild…they never made it to Rome.” [29:44]
• Some sources say, out of embarrassment and rage, they massacre the population.

Later Career & Legacy of Hosteen

[30:47–32:32]

• Hosteen’s later exploits include conflicts with Alfred the Great, negotiation for his family’s release, and eventual fade from recorded history around 896.
• Dudo’s harsh opinion:
  • Ben quoting Dudo: “‘This was a man accursed, fierce, mightily cruel and savage. Pestilent, hostile, sombre, truculent… fertile in ruses, warmonger, general, traitor, fomenter of evil, and double dieted dissimulator.’” [32:13]
• Noel: “He also uses pestilent twice, which I couldn’t help but notice.” [32:20]

Ridiculousness, Truth, and Oral History

[37:25–38:03]

• The hosts reflect on how much of this is history vs. tall tale; Dudo may have embellished.
• Even if parts aren’t strictly factual, the incident earns its place in “ridiculous history” for the sheer comedic incompetence.
• Ben: “They figured out a Trojan horse type ruse or heist on their own…but still didn’t know what city they were in.” [37:54]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ben (on Viking nicknames):
  “How many raids do you have to accomplish… for that to become part of your name?” [05:27]
• Noel (on Hosteen’s aliases):
  “That's my favorite one, by the way… He's not a full Dan. He's half the Dan he used to be.” [12:24]
• On the sacking of Paris:
  Ben: “This was like a very violent proto heist.” [10:09]
• Noel, as the Vikings realize the mistake:
  “A quite embarrassing realization…I’m not sure what did it for them, but something. There was an ‘aha moment,’ or like an ‘oh’ moment.” [29:44]
• Ben, summarizing the fail:
  “They had successfully sacked the wrong city. A completely different city. They were Viking rubes from the wild…they never made it to Rome. Instead, they were in a different town.” [29:44]
• On Dudo’s eviscerating description:
  Ben: “Fertile in ruses is such a great insult.” [32:17] Noel: “He also uses pestilent twice, which I couldn’t help but notice.” [32:20]
• Ben:
  “They figured out a Trojan horse type ruse or heist on their own…but still didn’t know what city they were in.” [37:54]

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Key Timestamps (MM:SS)

• 04:16–06:11: Viking lineage, names, and nicknames
• 09:18–12:08: Sacking of Paris, the culture of raiding
• 13:02–17:27: The failed campaign in Spain and against Moorish naval forces
• 23:56–26:38: Rome: the ultimate prize and Viking motives
• 26:38–29:05: The Trojan Horse ruse: fake burial, conning the city’s defenders
• 29:05–30:16: Realization of the blunder: sacking Luna, not Rome
• 30:47–32:32: Hosteen’s later years, Dudo’s condemnation
• 37:25–38:03: Reflection on truth, oral history, and why it’s all so “ridiculous”

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Tone and Takeaways

The episode is delivered in the hosts’ trademark irreverent style, mixing earnest historical curiosity with comic relief and friendly bickering. Through Hosteen and Bjorn’s misadventure, the show underlines the importance of skepticism in historical storytelling, the endurance of Viking legend, and the universal appeal of a good (or spectacularly bad) heist gone wrong.

For history buffs and fans of epic fails alike, this is a memorable episode—one part cautionary tale, one part Viking comedy of errors.

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Further Engagement

Find more discussions or contribute your own takes (including potential Viking nicknames!) via the Ridiculous Historians Facebook group or the show’s social channels.

Transcript

[Ben]

Fellow ridiculous historians, we've all been there. You're a Viking. You're out there to rave and ravage and pillage, and then lo and behold, you run to the wrong town.

[Noel]

And now you're trying to get your plunder on and you went in the wrong cardinal direction. So you can't be both ferocious and have a good sense of direction.

[Ben]

Right? Right. Right. And as we'll find in today's classic episode, our buddies Halfdan and Bjorn. Not to be old classic half Dan. They wanted to be known for their ability to be the best Vikings out there. They wanted people to tell stories about them in the oral history of their community. But they accidentally went to the wrong place.

[Noel]

It's true. Let's jump right into the story already in progress. This is an iHeart podcast.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Hello, America's sweetheart. Johnny Knoxville here. I want to tell you about my new true crime podcast, Crimeless Hillbilly Heist. From Smartless Media, campside media and big money players. It's a wild tale about a gang of high functioning nitwits who somehow pulled off America's third largest cash heist.

[Noel]

Kind of like Robin Hood, except for.

[Jonathan Strickland]

The part where he steals from the.

[Ben]

Rich and gives to the poor.

[Noel]

I'm not that generous.

[Johnny Knoxville]

It's a damn near inspiring true story for anyone out there who's ever shot for the moon, then just totally muffed up the landing.

[Ben]

They stole $17 million and had not bought a ticket to help him escape.

[Noel]

So we're sitting like, oh, God, what do we do?

[Narrator (Havoc Town)]

What do we do?

[Jonathan Strickland]

That was dumb.

[Noel]

People, do not follow my example.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Listen to Crimeless Hillbilly Heist on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ed Helms]

Hey, it's Ed Helms, host of Snafu, my podcast about history's greatest screw ups. On our new season, we're bringing you a new snafu every single episode.

[Maggie Freeling]

32 lost nuclear weapons. You're like, wait, stop.

[Ben]

What?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, it's gonna be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and a whole lot of fabulous guests. Paul Scheer, Angela and Jenna, Nick Kroll, Jordan Klepper. Listen to season four of SNAFU with Ed Helms on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Narrator (Havoc Town)]

There's a vile sickness in Abyss Town. You must excise it. Dig into the deep earth and cut it out.

[Aaron Manke]

From iheart Podcasts and Grim and Mild from Aaron Manke. This is Havoc Town, a new fiction podcast set in the Bridgewater Audio Universe starring Jewel State and Ray Wise. Listen to Havoc town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get podcasts.

[Maggie Freeling]

The murder of an 18 year old girl in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved for years until a local housewife, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[Noel]

America, y' all better wake the hell up. Bad things happens to good people and small towns.

[Maggie Freeling]

Listen to Graves county on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season ad free. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Ben]

Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartrad. Welcome to the show Ridiculous historians and possible Viking descendants. My name is Ben.

[Noel]

My name is Noel. I used to have a little red in my beard. Does that mean I'm a possible Viking descendant?

[Ben]

Well, it means you definitely have the possibility of that red haired gene.

[Noel]

That's right.

[Ben]

You know, we would need to, we'd need to do some more testing. I also have a red beard when I grow it out. And in the part of Tennessee where I'm from, there is this old folk saying about how you can't trust someone who has two different colors of facial hair. So like I have brown hair on my head and then red hair on my face. Not to be trusted.

[Noel]

What about people with two different color eyes? Because I have the two different colored beard and two different color eyes. I mean, I'm super untrustworthy.

[Ben]

No, no, no. Not in, not in my part of the world at least. Heterochromia they seem fine with.

[Noel]

Would they think I'm a witch?

[Ben]

I think you might have to have a milky eye or very like apparently different eye, you know. But you know who is super trustworthy, Noel?

[Noel]

Tell me.

[Ben]

Our super producer, Casey Pegram, who is also, I believe, not a Viking. Is that correct, Casey? That is correct, yes.

[Noel]

I mean, he's not an active Viking. His rating days are behind him.

[Ben]

Right? I don't want to talk about it.

[Noel]

Fair enough.

[Ben]

Okay. So we were talking about Viking names a little bit before we went on the air today. And one of the questions, one of the questions I have, we have one character in this story named Hosteen the Raider. And the question is, how many raids do you have to accomplish? How many do you have to rack up or have under your belt for that to become part of your name?

[Noel]

I know I said save it for the pod and you did not like that.

[Ben]

It's kind of like telling someone to shut up.

[Noel]

That is not true.

[Ben]

I don't know if that's the answer.

[Noel]

No, it just means this conversation would be best had spontaneously, in one go, instead of doing it once and then trying to do it again. Because the magic is never the same.

[Ben]

Ben, I see where you're coming from, but it is like telling someone to shut up.

[Noel]

Okay, Ben, that's fair. But.

[Ben]

But I seriously wonder, though, Noel is like, do you do one raid or do you do five?

[Noel]

That's a really good question. I mean, surely there's a metric for these things. Or maybe he gave himself his own nickname.

[Ben]

Ooh, good call. That's interesting. I bet that's true, because it is kind of a badass nickname.

[Noel]

Oh, yeah.

[Ben]

And you can tell in a lot of these stories when someone has a not quite complimentary nickname like Charles the Bald or something.

[Noel]

Exactly. That was probably bestowed upon him by people that didn't care for him too much.

[Ben]

Yeah, propaganda. But why. Why are we talking about Vikings today? Noel, what's this deal with Hosteen the.

[Noel]

Raider, Costeen the Raider and his homie, Bjorn Ironside.

[Ben]

Great name.

[Noel]

Also a great name. They. They did a little military blunder. That's a lot of fun. It involves some sort of Trojan horse like tactics. It involves possible decapitation of members of the clergy and a whole lot of raping and pillaging and raiding along the way.

[Ben]

Yes, yes, yes. At least that is if they actually existed. That's the strange part.

[Noel]

I hate that part about history where it's like, God, this is so great. But it's probably not true.

[Ben]

Yeah. Or it's. Or they'll try to make it a little more optimistic and say they may have been real people. You're thinking, what? I'm so invested in this story right now, so take it with a grain of salt. This was a long, long time ago. Hosteen was a Viking chieftain in the late 9th century. And some of the characters in today's story are going to be familiar to you if you are a fan of the television series Vikings.

[Noel]

Yes, it's true.

[Ben]

Did you ever check that out?

[Noel]

I haven't. I watched a little bit of it here and there. But I also know apparently it takes quite a few liberties with some of these stories as well. And their depiction of the character of Bjorn Ironside, he doesn't quite do what he probably actually did in historical accounts because it helped them with their storyline a little bit.

[Ben]

Ah, yeah, I see what you're saying. Was that on History Channel?

[Noel]

I think it was like the. The weird, anomalous, like big budget kind of Game of Thrones type show on the History Channel. That's right.

[Ben]

Well, let us know if you're a fan and let us know what you think they got right or wrong. But this is a. As much as we can determine, an historically true tale.

[Noel]

It does seem that way, yes.

[Ben]

Yeah. So we don't know much about Hosteen the Raider in his early life, aside from the fact that, you know, he raided a bunch of stuff.

[Noel]

That's right.

[Ben]

It wasn't ironic.

[Noel]

No.

[Ben]

And he came from a well established bloodline.

[Noel]

Yeah. All signs point to him being the son of a Ragnar Lothbroker, and apparently that was also Bjorn Ironside's father. So they were possibly brothers.

[Ben]

They were possibly brothers, or because bloodline was such a big deal in this culture at this time, it is also completely possible that hosting just said that to try to get some more street cred. Ship cred.

[Noel]

Got it.

[Ben]

Vikings.

[Noel]

So these Vikings, they kind of had a singular mission, didn't they?

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah. They had the raiding economy, if you want to call it that.

[Noel]

Oh, I do.

[Ben]

It's a huge part of the life of this culture. So much so that, of course, people would get appellations or names for their performance or lack of performance in a raid. And if there was a really well done raid, then it would become part of this oral tradition. It was a legendary. So Ragnar Lothbrok, one of his big claims to fame was the sacking of Paris. This occurred in 845, and 5,000 Vikings, led by Ragnar, took over Paris. It was the largest, richest, most defended city in Northern Europe. This was like a very violent proto heist. Right. And the king of the time, Charles the Bald, paid a huge ransom of £7,000 of silver to Ragnar just to make them go away.

[Noel]

Yeah, that'll do it. So that's what a sacking is. Right. It's so interesting, that term, because I think of it in the British parlance as getting fired, but it also means, like, getting kind of conquered, which I guess they sort of mean the same thing.

[Ben]

Yeah, Yeah. I completely. I guess I could see that. Yeah. That's an interesting etymology. Well, that £7,000 of silver did not work. They returned a decade later to sack the city again.

[Noel]

Yeah. There's no honor among Vikings, I guess.

[Ed Helms]

Yes.

[Ben]

Yeah. And the French in that time were prepared, and they were able to fight the Vikings off. But then in 857, Bjorn Ironside, son of Ragnar, actual son, he takes his crew and they return to Paris, but they notice that Paris is In ruins. I. Only after. After they're done looting, only four out of the, what, 25 to 30 something churches were left standing. And they were encouraged by this wanton mayhem, this gleeful destruction. And they said, you know what? Raids are cool. Raids are super cool, but Paris has kind of been done. Let's go for something bigger.

[Noel]

Why was it in such ruins, Ben?

[Ben]

So from 845 to 857, we're talking about three different sackings. There's not enough time for the city to really repair itself. You know what I mean? You can only squeeze so much. I was gonna say milk from a cow, but that seems weird. You can't get blood from a stone.

[Noel]

Poor Paris.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Noel]

Haven't they had enough? I mean, so that's basically what the takeaway was, right? I mean, they were literally like, you know what? I think we're gonna leave them alone this time, right?

[Ben]

Right. Pretty much.

[Noel]

Right now, Ben, we should probably really quickly mention that Hostein was such a badass that he actually had quite a few names, whether they were aliases or other nicknames, but he was known AKA Half Dan.

[Ben]

That's my favorite one, by the way.

[Noel]

I mean, he's like half a Dan.

[Ben]

He's not a full Dan.

[Noel]

He's half the Dan he used to be.

[Ben]

Yes, half the Dan he used to be.

[Noel]

I like that. He's also alsting and also hasting with that really cool AE combined letter. What do you call that, Ben?

[Ben]

Technically speaking, it's a grapheme formed from the letters A and E, originally represented the Latin diphthong ae and just sort of got smushed into one thing.

[Noel]

Got it. Got it. So at this point, Hosteen and Bjorn decide to make their way to the south of France on the Loire River. Loire. Aha.

[Ben]

Casey on the case. You know what?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Usually we.

[Ben]

I thought it was always vampire rules with you, Casey.

[Noel]

We invoke you.

[Ben]

I thought we had to invite you in. No, to jump in there.

[Noel]

He couldn't. He couldn't. He couldn't let that gross mispronunciation stand.

[Ben]

Just trying to save us all some emails.

[Noel]

I appreciate it, buddy. I appreciate it.

[Ben]

Thanks, man.

[Noel]

So where's Loire? Loire.

[Ben]

Loire.

[Noel]

Loire.

[Ben]

Loire.

[Noel]

So, yeah, so they're sailing, I believe, a fleet of 62 ships down the Loire River. Excuse me, Casey. I don't need to have you popping into my head again. And they're going to the Iberian peninsula. So where they are is in what is today modern day France. And then they're going to what is now Spain and Portugal and along the way, they don't always do too hot because they're kind of Persona non grata at this point. They keep running around sacking places and pillaging and just having their way. So people are kind of wise to them a little bit at this point, aren't they?

[Ben]

Yeah, this is all during this time. This is part of the Umayyad Caliphate, and you can only do this kind of thing so many times before people start realizing there's trouble afoot, you know what I mean? Unless you kill everyone in the town you attack. So they did not have a flawless record. In fact, when they were raiding ships along the Galician coast, they found that the local resistance overall was just too strong. So they weren't moving because they were maybe seeking greater riches. They were seeking easier targets, easier pickings. Easier pickings, yes, sir. That's how a lot of predators work, you know. And so they moved on to pillage the west coast of the emirate. And there they started encountering more success. The coast guard of the time captured two longships scouting ahead of the main fleet. And they found that these ships, these scout ships, were already full of treasure and food and slaves or captives that were destined to be enslaved.

[Noel]

So at this point, they're almost in. They're almost switching their tactics to more traditional pirate kind of moves.

[Ben]

Right, right, right. And they suffer another defeat when they land in southwest Spain. The fleet next goes to the mouth of the Guadalquivir with the intention, maybe historians guess, of attacking Seville for a second time. But then they got confronted by the Moorish fleet. These were actual trained soldiers. They had maritime war tactics. These were not just helpless fishing communities.

[Noel]

And didn't they lose a whole bunch of ships and men in this confrontation?

[Ben]

Yeah, because the Moorish fleet had incendiary weapons. They were literally lighting them up. And, yeah, ships burned, people died.

[Noel]

What did the Vikings use typically? Were they using, like, I mean, the axes, I imagine, in close combat, but what, what would they use in sea combat, do you think?

[Ben]

Well, one thing we know for sure is that it was a long standing rule of theirs to leave town, to leave the scene if resistance was too strong. That's why they're raiders, you know what I mean? So if we're, if we're guessing, we know that a lot of their fleets had little to no cohesion. You know, it's kind of like more like a convoy on the road.

[Noel]

I see.

[Ben]

Yeah. So they didn't attack ships with the intent of destroying them. They wanted to board them. So one of their Common tactics was to try to ram ships and then once they're close enough, jump on the ship.

[Noel]

There you go. And then they probably go to town with those battle axes, right, with their melee weapons. But I do believe they also used bows and arrows and spears and things like that. And I could picture shooting volleys of arrows, you know, onto other ships. Possibly, I don't know, I can't confirm that, but it seems like that would be one way of getting it done.

[Ben]

Yeah. Yeah, agreed. So typically their, their aim was to get in close quarters to kill, enslave, plunder. But this other fleet that is well, well accustomed to maritime ship on ship warfare, they're, you know, they're Wu Tang style. They're nothing to with.

[Noel]

Yeah, for sure. No, and I mean they were designed for that purpose of ramming as well. I mean, the way the whole, the whole ship was kind of built with that in mind.

[Ben]

And so as, as we said, Noel, they encounter professional naval forces and they get the horns slapped off the helmets, which by the way, is a stereotype. And they were barely able to make their way home. The few that were left alive were forced to pay a ransom to escape. But this defeat, this ignominious defeat did not scare or extinguish the thirst for vast treasures and glory on the part of Bjorn Ironside and Hasteen. Halfdan. Halfdan.

[Noel]

I love Halfdan.

[Ed Helms]

Hey, it's Ed Helms. And welcome back to Snafu, my podcast about history's greatest screw ups. On our new season, we're bringing you a new snafu every single episode.

[Maggie Freeling]

32 lost nuclear weapons. You're like, wait, stop. What?

[Noel]

Ernie Shackleton sounds like a solid 70s.

[Ed Helms]

Basketball player who still wore knee pads.

[Noel]

Yes.

[Ed Helms]

It's gonna be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and a whole lot of guests. The great Paul Scheer made me feel good. I'm like, oh, wow, Angela and Jenna, I am so psyched you're here.

[Maggie Freeling]

What was that like for you to soft launch into the show?

[Ed Helms]

Sorry, Jenna, I'll be asking the questions today.

[Maggie Freeling]

I forgot whose podcast we were doing.

[Ed Helms]

Nick Kroll. I hope this story is good enough to get you to toss that sandwich. So let's see how it goes. Listen to season four of SNAFU with Ed Helms on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Narrator (Havoc Town)]

There's a vile sickness in Abbas town. You must excise it, dig into the deep earth and cut it out.

[Ben]

The village is ravaged. Entire families have been consumed.

[Noel]

You Know how waking up from a.

[Maggie Freeling]

Dream, a familiar place can look completely alien?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Get back everyone.

[Narrator (Havoc Town)]

And if you see the devil walking around inside of another man, you must cut out the very heart of him, burn his body and scatter the ashes in the furthest corner of this town.

[Aaron Manke]

As a warning from iHeart podcasts and grim and mild from Aaron Manke, this is Havoc Town, a new fiction podcast set in the Bridgewater audio universe, starring Jewel State and Robert Ray Wise. Listen to Havoc town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ben]

The Devil walks in Abbostown.

[Noel]

All I know is what I've been told.

[Ben]

And that's a half truth is a whole lie.

[Maggie Freeling]

For almost a decade, the murder of an 18 year old girl from a small town in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved until a local homemaker, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[Ben]

I'm telling you, we know Quincy killed her.

[Maggie Freeling]

We know a story that law enforcement used to convict six people and that got the citizen investigator on national tv.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Through sheer persistence and nerve, this Kentucky housewife helped give justice to Jessica Curran.

[Maggie Freeling]

My name is Maggie Freeling. I'm a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist producer and I wouldn't be here if the truth were that easy to find.

[Ben]

I did not know her and I did not kill her or rape or burn or any of that other stuff that y' all said. They literally made me say that I.

[Maggie Freeling]

Took a match and struck and threw it on her.

[Ben]

They made me say that I poured.

[Noel]

Gas on her.

[Maggie Freeling]

From lava for good. This is Graves County, a show about just how far our legal system will go in order to find someone to blame.

[Noel]

America, y' all better wake the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns.

[Maggie Freeling]

Listen to Graves county in the Bone Valley feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and to binge the entire season ad free. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Elena Sada]

At 19, Elena Sada believed she had found her calling. In the new season of Sacred Scandal, we pull back the curtain on a life built on devotion and deception. A man of God, God Martial Maciel, looked Elena in the eye and promised her a life of purpose within the Legion of Christ.

[Noel]

My name is Elena Sada, and this is my story. It's the story of how I learned to hide, to cry, to survive, and eventually how I got out.

[Elena Sada]

This season on Sacred Scandal, hear the full story from the woman who lived it. Witness the journey from devout follower to determined Survivor, as Helena exposes the man behind the cloth and the system that protected him. Even the darkest secrets eventually find their way to the light. Listen to Sacred Scandal, the many secrets of Martial Maciel as part of the Mikeultura podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Noel]

So at this point, they've had some wins, they've had some losses, you know, but they still want more. That's sort of the nature of this kind of life, right? Yeah, you don't really rest on your laurels, you know, otherwise you'll be seen as weak, and then you won't be the toughest Viking in the sea. Right.

[Ben]

And then what's the point?

[Noel]

What's the point? Well, no, it's. It's kind of like mob rules, right? Like, if as soon as you let up and stop, you know, kicking people's asses all the time and taking collections, then all of a sudden someone else is going to move in on your turf. So they couldn't have that. And I think we've all heard that expression, all roads lead to Rome. At this time, that was especially true because Rome was seen as, like, the crown jewel of sackable places, right? Like, that's the one that you would guarantee to have a crazy, incredible hall because it was full of riches and wealth and, like, we had this whole, you know, civilized society with culture, and, like, it was just practically. The streets were paved with gold.

[Ben]

Right.

[Noel]

In the minds of these Vikings.

[Ben]

In the minds of these Vikings. And this leads us to another character we have to introduce, the Norman monk Dudo of St. Quentin.

[Noel]

Ah, Dudo, dude.

[Ben]

Oh, we don't know a ton about this guy, except he was born around 965. He was in the Norman court, Normandy for a while, and in his second stay in Normandy, he wrote his history of the Normans. And as for the rest of his life, we know that he died sometime before 1043, so we don't know a whole heck of a lot about him. But we do know that he is the source of the story that takes place next. Here's what happens. According to this story, Bjorn Ironside and his buddy Halfdan, they land in a place after they've been raiding the coast of Africa and getting their butts whipped by some professional naval forces. They land somewhere in Italy, and they think this is the most amazing city. Holy smokes, bro. We made it. We're in Rome and we're about to get down.

[Noel]

We are going to tear the place up. We're going to light it up.

[Ben]

Yolo, big time.

[Noel]

It's total Viking YOLO sitch.

[Ben]

So they want to use a little bit of cunning because from everything they know about Rome, it's huge. It's a home to opulent wealth and it's probably very well protected, right? So they said there's no way we can take this by force. Like, we're great guys, Halfdan, but we've got to think this through. Yeah, let's think this through.

[Noel]

Our usual bloodthirsty, ruthless kind of smash and grab techniques are not going to serve us in this particular situation. Yeah, half Dan. That's how that went.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Noel]

This is a recreate, this is a recreation.

[Ben]

Okay, so then you say, okay, well, let's, let's give it a night. Let's think on it. The next morning, a small group of Vikings approaches the city walls and they say, hold on, hold on, hang on. I know we look crazy, dressed in furs dirty and sea worn, but we have not come to plunder you. We have no strength left. We're exhausted. We've been traveling a lot. Could you just make peace with us? And we let us buy what we need, you know, like food and provisions. Our chiefs are weak and broken and we need help.

[Noel]

And our boy Halfdan here is not doing so well.

[Ben]

Yeah, he is on death's door and he has seen the light and the way of Rome.

[Noel]

He seeks the absolution of your religious leaders.

[Ben]

And, you know, let's keep our opinions out of it because he's the boss. So he needs to be baptized. If he dies here, he wants to be buried in this city. A Christian burial, consecrated ground. So.

[Noel]

And I mean, I think, you know, that probably like the word conversion is like catnip to these people, you know, I mean, it's like, okay, sure, the heathens.

[Ben]

You want one?

[Noel]

We'll give one to God. Let's do it. Let him in. Open the gates. So I guess he and like a couple of his associates come in, right?

[Ben]

And you'll hear a couple different versions of this story, right? In one story, Hostina Halfdan is already dead, quote, unquote. And his followers take this coffin in there to just get the burial. In other versions of the story, he is taken in and he's. The technical word is malingering. He's acting like he's a little more ill than he actually is. And he sits through a baptism ceremony, right? They anoint him with holy ointment and oil and he's smiling and then he falls backwards on a Stretcher. He's carried back to the ship by his companions.

[Noel]

Really? Doing a real Meisner number.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah. And then after. After he gets carried back, they're doing a con, right? And so now the. The people trust that the Vikings are sincere. And again, according to Dudo. I love that name. According to judo, this is when Halfdan says to his followers, when night comes, you shall say to the priest and the duke that I am dead and fervently pray that I may be buried in their city. Say that you want to give them the sword and bracelet and everything that belongs to me.

[Noel]

Spooky stuff, right?

[Ben]

Treachery too, right?

[Noel]

Yeah, indeed. Treachery most foul.

[Ben]

And so they go back and they say, our chief, as you have just named him, is dead. We pray that he could be buried in your convent and that you receive these rich gifts he gave for you on his deathbed. So, hey, there's an upside for you, Rome. But what happens next?

[Noel]

Oh, well, my favorite version of the story is when he pops out of the coffin and slices off the head of a priest and then says, you know, yolo. And then he and his dudes charge back through the city to the gate. They open it up to the Horde, you know, the remaining foot soldiers, I guess. And then something occurs to Bjorn or Halfdan or Hassteen. Yes, it's a terrible realization, Ben. A quite embarrassing realization. I'm not sure what did it for them, but something. There was an aha moment, or like an oh moment. And what did they realize?

[Ben]

They had successfully sacked the wrong city. A completely different city. They were Viking rubes from the wild. They had no idea that they never made it to Rome. Instead, they were in a different town.

[Noel]

Yeah, it was called Luna. And again, these are all some questionable retellings of this because there are two different versions. We'll tell you the one in a second. But in one version of this, they were so embarrassed that they massacred the entire population of the city.

[Ben]

They don't take well to surprises, I guess. So, yeah. According to this version, they turn into full on lunatics. They kill everyone, or at least all the adult men. And then they say, okay, we're going to keep sailing. We're going southeast, maybe to Alexandria and Egypt or something. And then they raid the Mediterranean for a few years, then they return home never to tell people of their embarrassing wrong turn.

[Noel]

That's right. And then there's a whole other conflict involving Alfred the Great, where the forces of Hosteen and Bjorn are kicking it around Europe, United Kingdom, specifically Wales, Actually, his family gets abducted by the forces of Alfred the Great, and he ends up having to negotiate with him to get his family returned to him. And one thing leads to another and he does not succeed. And he more or less disappears from history around 896. There's really no more mention of Hosteen, Halfdan, Alsting, whatever you want to call him.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah, you're correct. He disappears around 896. By then, he is an elderly man. He's been described as the lusty and terrifying old warrior of the Loire and the Somme. And we now know that he was one of the most notorious and successful Vikings of all time, but can't be that way without making enemies. So the Norman monk Dudo of St. Quentin was incredibly critical of our boy Halfdan. He said, quote, this was a man accursed, fierce, mightily cruel and savage. Pestilent, hostile, sombre, truculent, given to outrage, pestilent and untrustworthy, fickle and lawless, death dealing, uncouth, fertile in ruses, warmonger, general, traitor, fomenter of evil, and double dieted dissimulator.

[Noel]

Goodness gracious.

[Ben]

Right?

[Noel]

That is a war of words right there, my friend.

[Ben]

Fertile in ruses is such a great insult.

[Noel]

He also uses pestilent twice, which I couldn't help but notice that. But yeah. So he definitely lives on in infamy, even after, you know, disappearing from the record.

[Ben]

You're right. He doubled down on Pestilence.

[Noel]

He really did.

[Ed Helms]

Hey, it's Ed Helms, and welcome back to snafu, my podcast about history's greatest screw ups. On our new season, we're bringing you a new snafu every single episode.

[Maggie Freeling]

32 lost nuclear weapons. You're like, wait, stop. What?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yeah.

[Noel]

Ernie Shackleton sounds like a solid 70s.

[Ed Helms]

Basketball player who still wore knee pads.

[Noel]

Yes.

[Ed Helms]

It's gonna be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and a whole lot of guests. The great Paul Scheer made me feel good. I'm like, oh, wow, Angela and Jenna, I am so psyched you're here.

[Maggie Freeling]

What was that like for you to soft launch into the show?

[Ed Helms]

Sorry, Jenna. I'll be asking the questions today.

[Maggie Freeling]

I forgot whose podcast we were doing.

[Ed Helms]

Nick Kroll. I hope this story is good enough to get you to toss that sandwich. So let's see how how it goes. Listen to season four of SNAFU with Ed Helms on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Narrator (Havoc Town)]

There's a vile sickness in Amber's town, you must excise it. Dig into the deep earth and cut it out.

[Ben]

The village is ravaged. Entire families have been consumed.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Human.

[Noel]

You know how waking up from a.

[Maggie Freeling]

Dream, a familiar place can look completely alien.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Get back everyone.

[Narrator (Havoc Town)]

He's got n. And if you see the devil walking around inside of another man, you must cut out the very heart of him, burn his body and scatter the ashes in the furthest corner of this town.

[Aaron Manke]

As a warning from iHeart podcasts and grim and mild from Aaron Manke, this is Havoc Town, a new fiction podcast set in the Bridgewater audio universe, starring Jewel State and Ray Wise. Listen to Havoc town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ben]

The Devil walks in Abbostown.

[Noel]

All I know is what I've been told.

[Ben]

And that's a half truth is a whole lie.

[Maggie Freeling]

For almost a decade, the murder of an 18 year old girl from a small town in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved until a local homemaker, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[Ben]

I'm telling you, we know Quincy killed her.

[Maggie Freeling]

We know a story that law enforcement used to convict six people and that got the citizen investigator on national tv.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Through sheer persistence and nerve, this Kentucky housewife helped give justice to Jessica Curran.

[Maggie Freeling]

My name is Maggie Freeling. I'm a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist producer and I wouldn't be here if the truth were that easy to find.

[Ben]

I did not know her and I did not kill her or rape or burn or any of that other stuff that y' all said. They literally made me say that I.

[Maggie Freeling]

Took a match and struck and threw it on her.

[Ben]

They made me say that I poured.

[Noel]

Gas on her.

[Maggie Freeling]

From Lava for good. This is Graves County, a show about just how far our legal system will go in order to find someone to blame.

[Noel]

America, y' all better wake the hell up. Bad things happens to good people and small towns.

[Maggie Freeling]

Listen to Graves county in the Bone Valley feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and to binge the entire season ad free. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Elena Sada]

At 19, Elena Sada believed she had found her calling. In the new season of sacred Scandal, we pulled back the curtain on a life built on devotion and deception. A man of God, Martial Maciel, looked Elena in the eye and promised her a life of purpose within the Legion of Christ.

[Noel]

My name is Elena Sada, and this is my story. It's the story of how I learned to hide, to cry. To survive and eventually, how I got out.

[Elena Sada]

This season on Sacred Scandal, hear the full story from the woman who lived it. Witness the journey from devout follower to determined survivor as Helena exposes the man behind the cloth and the system that protected him. Even the darkest secrets eventually find their way to the light. Listen to Secret Scandal, the many secrets of Marcial Maciel as part of the My Cultura Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Ben]

So the question then becomes a matter of how much we can trust Dudo. You know what I mean? Is he just spinning tales to amuse himself, or what are his sources? So we can say that this still counts as ridiculous history, despite the fact that many, many people died because these guys, if we are to believe the story, were so intelligent that they figured out a Trojan horse type ruse or heist on their own.

[Noel]

Sure.

[Ben]

But still didn't know what city they were in.

[Noel]

Yeah, well, I mean, it's not like they had all the maps or anything. They were kind of just, like, going by their gut, their Viking guts. So.

[Ben]

Thank you so much for tuning in, everyone. We hope that you enjoyed today. Every time.

[Noel]

I thought maybe it wasn't going to happen again.

[Ben]

Every time. Yeah.

[Jonathan Strickland]

It's time, gentlemen.

[Ben]

Jonathan Strickland, the Quizter, or, yes, you.

[Noel]

Like to call him the Quizzler.

[Elena Sada]

I do.

[Ben]

I take his, like a.

[Noel]

It's like using his name in vain or something.

[Jonathan Strickland]

You know that Quizzler is a trademarked candy coming straight from the chocolate shop. I also happen to run.

[Ben]

Why are you announcing that in such an arch way? I mean, congratulations, man. That's cool.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Evil candy.

[Ben]

That's.

[Noel]

Do you sell those giant gobstopper things, like the Jawbreakers, you know, that are impossible to fit in your mouth? Is it like that frustrating candy, right?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes. The kind that you have to unhinge your jaw in order to put it down. Then you're just stuck.

[Ben]

So you sell, like, stuck with it, edgy, inconvenient candy.

[Jonathan Strickland]

We like to turn good kids into horrible kids and then release them upon the world. I don't go in for all this nonsense of taking evil kids and then, you know, turning them into blueberries. That's just. That's amateur work.

[Ben]

Okay, okay. This became a. A bit of an exercise to throw some shade at Wonka, huh?

[Jonathan Strickland]

You get nothing.

[Noel]

All right?

[Jonathan Strickland]

You lose. Actually, it's a little early for that.

[Noel]

Good day, sir.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Yes, let's find out if you will lose, because we all know that I've been summoned here and that tis my want.

[Ben]

Whenever I find out, when I finally figure out who is summoning you, the woe be unto them.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I just say, there's a little button under one of these desks, and when someone pushes it, a light comes on at my desk and I run over here as fast as my little legs can carry.

[Noel]

Is it like a bat phone kind of situation? Do you have like a red telephone that blinks or.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Teller. What?

[Noel]

Yeah, okay.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Join the 21st century, Noel. All right, so as I understand you're talking about a invasion in this, so I sacking. I've come up with my own. My own invasion quandary. If you do not understand those listening what is happening, I don't blame you haven't bothered to explain it yet.

[Ben]

Oh, let's do. Let's do that part. So this is the. This is the part of the show where you, Jonathan Strickland, the Quizzter, arrive at the most unexpected moments, which tend to universally be toward the end of.

[Jonathan Strickland]

The show, fully in disguise, despite the fact that you have already established I am in fact Jonathan Strickland the quizzedo.

[Ben]

Yes, yes, these are all true things. And you are here to once again test our knowledge. You are going to give us a scenario. Is that correct?

[Jonathan Strickland]

That is a scenario. And then you will determine whether or not in fact the scenario I present to you represents a true event in history or if I made it up seas. And you will have three minutes to do so. In that three minutes, you will also be allowed to ask questions of me, but only if you follow first obey a rule of arbitrary nature that I will come up with at the time of the question. So first I will give you the scenario. Then I will tell you what the rule is you must follow to ask any questions, and then we shall begin. The great grandfather clock timer. Okay, guys, I haven't touched that since daylight saving time.

[Ben]

No. Okay, look, it's irritating me.

[Jonathan Strickland]

It's an entire hour off.

[Noel]

I. I don't. I don't support daylight saving time, for the record.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I choose to Daylight waster.

[Ben]

Yeah, well, we just spent so much money on this clock. Quick peek behind the curtain. This was a television show originally, but we blew the budget on this enormous clock. And that's my fault. And now we're a podcast.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I still feel obligated to wear the costume.

[Ben]

Thank you, man. Thank you. Well, I just want to apologize. I'm sorry, Noel. I'm sorry, Casey. I'm somewhat sorry.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Jonathan, These tights chafe.

[Ben]

So where are we?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Where's your scenario? Here we are. The year 1625 saw an entire English invasion of Spain called off on account of drunkenness. Allow me to explain. For complicated reasons involving a Spanish princess giving the cold shoulder to Prince Charles, the son of James I, the Duke of Buckingham wanted to use the English fleet to put a hurt on Spain. James died in 1625, and his boy Chuck became Charles I. Chuck dissolved Parliament and Buckingham got to have his invasion, except he forgot to supply the boats. So the fleet attacked Cadiz, Spain, and takes over a superfluous fort. And the commander of the invasion, seeing that he didn't have the food and supplies needed to feed his invasion force, gave the English permission to sack the fort's supplies. And so the English began to drink, cope copious amounts of wine, until the entire force of 15,000 soldiers were drunk as skunks. Seeing no way to victory, the commander ordered a retreat. And Spain's invasion was cut very short due to public drunkenness. Now, your arbitrary rule is, before you ask a question, you must make a toast. Start the timer.

[Noel]

All right.

[Ben]

You mean running? Start.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Oof.

[Ben]

All right. And we're off to the races. What do you think?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Man.

[Noel]

He'S so good at this. He's really good at this. And I hate to say it, I hate to even give a shred of a compliment to the quizter, but he really knows how to push my buttons.

[Ben]

Yes. Yes. Let's see.

[Noel]

That wasn't helpful for the question.

[Ben]

It's valuable context, man. A toast. A toast to Half Dan.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Good enough. What is it?

[Ben]

Who's in the episode that we just did? Okay, so how common was wine at this time?

[Jonathan Strickland]

Extremely. Wine is ancient.

[Noel]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Strickland]

And this was Spain, which is not that far from. I don't know if you know your geography. France.

[Ben]

All right. Also, a toast to Tuba Solos.

[Jonathan Strickland]

You're not even trying, Mr. Boland. Go ahead.

[Ben]

They're great.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Was.

[Ben]

Was Spain a caliphate at that time?

[Jonathan Strickland]

This is immaterial of the question.

[Ben]

I know. I've just tried to fulfill myself there.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I can give you a lot more details if you want. I can either make them upsies, or I could tell you real things about 1625 Spain.

[Ben]

That's true. That's an irrelevant question on my part. Noel, do you have a question?

[Noel]

I just don't even know where to start. I'm just so flummoxed by this one. I tend to lean towards.

[Ben]

I'm going with true.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Okay.

[Ben]

Wanna lock it in?

[Noel]

Yeah, let's lock it in.

[Ben]

All right.

[Noel]

Three, two, one. True.

[Jonathan Strickland]

You are correct.

[Noel]

Yes.

[Jonathan Strickland]

This actually did happen. Let Me explain what was happening because the story gets so much crazier. But really that was running long already and I didn't want to make it the super long one. So here's the story. We have James the first of England, and he wants to make peace with Spain. There were been hostilities between the two nations for quite some time. You might have heard of a little thing called the Spanish Armada, and Elizabeth was all not having it. Anyway, to secure peace in the Renaissance really meant one thing, which is marry one of your kids to one of the snot nosed kids of the other place and then hope that everything turns out all right. So James reaches out to see if perhaps they might be able to arrange a marriage between a infanta of the Spanish royalty and his son Charles I, or Charles at that point. And Charles and Buckingham went incognito to Spain. That means Noel. They weren't letting everyone know who they were.

[Noel]

Are you condescending to me, sir?

[Jonathan Strickland]

So they go to Spain.

[Ben]

Jonathan, condescending means talk down to people.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Oh, you're talking to an expert. The Infanta says, thanks, but no thanks, Chuck. I don't think you're really revving my engines. And so they returned England, Buckingham immediately. Buckingham, by the way, was one of James I's favorites, possibly lover. And they wanted to immediately to create an invasion of Spain. James I didn't want to make things worse. So until he died, which was in 1625, that's how things stood. Then they tried to get Parliament to agree to this invasion, but they were worried that perhaps Parliament would agree to the invasion, but then not pay for it to happen. So they waited until Charles, now Charles the first, dissolved Parliament, so Parliament is not in session and then they go and mount this invasion. They hire a Dutch commander who was a brilliant land soldier to take up this armada, invade Spain, they take over a fort that doesn't remotely give them access to the town they actually need to take. And the only supplies they had any access to were wine. And then the commander says, tell you what, why don't you guys go ahead and get yourself something to drink because this might take a while. And they got a rotten stinging drun. They ran away. 1,000 English soldiers were left behind. Not a single shot was fired in that invasion. And all 1,000 English soldiers were put to the sword. Cheerful, cheerful end to that story run.

[Noel]

Through, as it were.

[Jonathan Strickland]

They, they probably didn't notice having been full of sack, which is a very strong wine.

[Ben]

Oh, wow.

[Noel]

Hey, we're back to sack.

[Ben]

So we're back to sack. Because we were debating. We were actually. We were trying to figure out on the fly while we were recording the difference between sack, ransack and looting. And there's not really one.

[Noel]

Well, and also sack as in getting fired in Britain and then sack as in taking over a city.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Well, and there's also sack, which is.

[Ben]

Very strong wine, which I love. Now I'm gonna refer to any, like cheap, cheap wine as sack. You should.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Henry iv, Part one. Falstaff is known for his sack. That's a. That's a pun as well.

[Ben]

I think we've. Oh, okay, good.

[Noel]

So very B.

[Ben]

Middle school.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Shakespeare was a dirty, dirty man.

[Noel]

He was a B boy.

[Ben]

Middle school me. Was it completely off base? Jonathan Strickland, also known as the Quizter. Thank you for returning to the show. I think we're still a little behind him. You might be only one behind me at this point.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I think we're almost even.

[Noel]

I think so.

[Jonathan Strickland]

You know what that means?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I'm going to get way worse.

[Noel]

I don't know that that's possible. You're kind of the worst.

[Ben]

I think. I think you're all right. I appreciate learning. I'm gonna use the word sack a lot more. I feel like I never appreciated it.

[Noel]

You're sort of a Carmen Sandiego type figure.

[Ben]

You know, Carmen Sack.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Diego, it's true that Rockefeller sings wherever I go, so.

[Ben]

So, Jonathan, I feel like we don't say this too often. When you are on this show, you can be found not just here, but on your other podcast, Tech Stuff and the Brink, as well as Large Nerdron Collider, coming soon. Available wherever you find your favorite shows. So in the meantime, we hope that you enjoyed this story. If you find names as cool as Halfdan or Bjorn Ironside, let us know.

[Noel]

Sackman.

[Ben]

Sackman.

[Noel]

Half.

[Ben]

Half. Sack.

[Noel]

There you go.

[Ben]

We gotta get.

[Noel]

Something happened.

[Ben]

People can tell we're recording on a Friday. Yeah. List. So you can find us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Join your fellow listeners over at our Facebook page. Ridiculous historians.

[Noel]

Dare we say it's more than just a page. It's a family.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Oh, I don't dare.

[Ben]

No go. You're there all the time.

[Jonathan Strickland]

I know I'm there. I don't dare say a family.

[Noel]

Nice.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Well, because the holidays are coming up and I already have a really long shopping list.

[Noel]

That's fair.

[Ben]

That makes sense.

[Noel]

Well, thanks to all of you guys out there in podcast land. Thanks to you, Ben, for being such a good co host and friend and happy holidays and all that Qur. Thank.

[Elena Sada]

Thank you.

[Noel]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Jonathan Strickland]

Oh, you know, I gave you a little present as your desk. Don't drink it. I feel badly about it now.

[Noel]

Oh, thanks for the heads up.

[Ben]

Ew. What?

[Noel]

What?

[Ben]

Okay, you know what? We're a family show, so thanks to you, Casey Pegram, as always, thanks to Alex Williams, who composed our track, and Chris Fraciotes, our research associate for this episode.

[Noel]

And stay tuned for the next episode where we talk about the surprising roots of the Tooth Fairy. See you then. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Johnny Knoxville here. Check out Crimeless Hillbilly Heist, my new true crime podcast from Smartless Media, Campside Media and big money players. It's the true story of the almost perfect crime and the nimrods who almost pulled it off.

[Ben]

It was kind of like the perfect storm in a sewer.

[Narrator (Havoc Town)]

That was dumb.

[Noel]

Do not follow my example.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Listen to Crimeless Hillbilly Heist on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Ed Helms]

Hey, it's Ed Helms, host of Snafu, my podcast about history's greatest screw ups. On our new season, we're bringing you a new snafu Every single episode.

[Maggie Freeling]

32 lost nuclear weapons. You're like, wait, stop what?

[Ed Helms]

It's going to be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and a whole lot of fabulous guests. Paul Scheer, Angela and Jenna, Nick Kroll, Jordan Klepper. Listen to season four of SNAFU with Ed Helms on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Narrator (Havoc Town)]

There's a viral sickness in Ampas Town. You must excise it. Dig into the deep earth and cut it out.

[Aaron Manke]

From iheart Podcasts and Grim and Mild from Aaron Manke. This is Havoc Town, a new fiction podcast set in the Bridgewater audio universe starring Jewel State and Ray Wise. Listen to Havoc town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Maggie Freeling]

The murder of an 18 year old girl in Graves County, Kentucky, went unsolved for years until a local housewife, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[Noel]

America, y' all better wake the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns.

[Maggie Freeling]

Listen to Graves county on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season ad free, subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Noel]

This is an iHeart podcast.