Ridiculous History: "CLASSIC: When Vikings Loot The Wrong Town" (October 16, 2025)
Podcast by iHeartPodcasts
Hosts: Ben Bowlin & Noel Brown

Episode Overview

In this classic episode, Ben and Noel dive into one of history’s most absurd Viking blunders: the time infamous raiders Hosteen the Raider (aka Halfdan, Hasteen, or Alsting) and Bjorn Ironside set out to sack mighty Rome, only to discover—too late—that they’d stormed a completely different city. Through witty banter, speculation, and some historical skepticism, the episode explores Viking culture, the legend’s roots, and the fine line between fact and embellishment in medieval tales.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Allure and Identity of Viking Raiders

[04:16–06:11]

• The hosts open by joking about possible Viking ancestry and the quirks of red beards and heterochromia.
• Discussion on Viking nicknames (e.g., "Hosteen the Raider"):
  • Ben: "How many raids do you have to accomplish... for that to become part of your name?" [05:27]
  • Nicknames sometimes self-bestowed; others, like Charles the Bald, might be less flattering and given by enemies.

Background: Who Were Hosteen and Bjorn Ironside?

[07:13–09:16]

• Hosteen: Viking chieftain from the 9th century, possibly son of legendary Ragnar Lothbrok—or might have claimed the bloodline for prestige ("ship cred").
• Bjorn Ironside: Often depicted as Hosteen’s brother, also purported son of Ragnar.
• These figures may appear in pop culture (e.g., the show Vikings), though shows take “liberties” with history.
• Historians urge caution—these oral tales often blend fact and legend.

Viking Raiding Culture and Famous Exploits

[09:18–12:08]

• Viking “raiding economy” made prowess in pillaging a key status symbol.
• The sacking of Paris (845) by Ragnar Lothbrok: 5,000 Vikings plunder the city; King Charles the Bald pays a massive ransom to make them leave, but Paris faces repeated sackings.
• “Raids are cool…but Paris has kind of been done. Let’s go for something bigger.” [11:38]

The Mediterranean Campaign and a String of Defeats

[13:02–17:27]

• Hosteen and Bjorn lead a fleet from France, down the Loire, along the Iberian peninsula, into Muslim Spain (under the Umayyad Caliphate).
• Local resistance on the coast of Galicia proves tough; a shift to easier targets and pirate-like tactics.
• Ben: “They did not have a flawless record.” [14:01]
• Moorish fleets in Spain defeat the Vikings using superior naval tactics & incendiary weapons.
• “They get the horns slapped off the helmets—which, by the way, is a stereotype.” [17:27]

The Plan to Sack Rome

[23:56–26:38]

• Rome: the “crown jewel of sackable places” in a Viking’s mind—full of wealth and status.
• Source of this legendary blunder: Norman monk Dudo of St. Quentin, who wrote an early Norman history.
• Vikings, fresh from raids across Africa and southern Europe, land in Italy and think they’ve arrived at Rome.
• “Holy smokes, bro. We made it. We’re in Rome and we’re about to get down.” [25:16]

The Trojan Horse Ruse

[26:38–29:05]

• Realizing they can’t take the city by force, the Vikings attempt subterfuge:
  • They plead exhaustion at the city gates, request provisions, and claim Hosteen/Halfdan seeks baptism and a Christian burial.
  • In some retellings, they bring in a “dead” Hosteen in a coffin; in others, he gets baptized and feigns illness, then is carried back to the ships.

The Blunder Revealed: Sacking the Wrong Town

[29:05–30:16]

• The Vikings are allowed into the city for the burial, then turn on their hosts, launching a surprise attack.
• Only then do they realize they've not sacked Rome, but Luna—an entirely different Italian city.
• Noel: “A quite embarrassing realization… what did they realize?”
  Ben: “They had successfully sacked the wrong city. A completely different city. They were Viking rubes from the wild…they never made it to Rome.” [29:44]
• Some sources say, out of embarrassment and rage, they massacre the population.

Later Career & Legacy of Hosteen

[30:47–32:32]

• Hosteen’s later exploits include conflicts with Alfred the Great, negotiation for his family’s release, and eventual fade from recorded history around 896.
• Dudo’s harsh opinion:
  • Ben quoting Dudo: “‘This was a man accursed, fierce, mightily cruel and savage. Pestilent, hostile, sombre, truculent… fertile in ruses, warmonger, general, traitor, fomenter of evil, and double dieted dissimulator.’” [32:13]
• Noel: “He also uses pestilent twice, which I couldn’t help but notice.” [32:20]

Ridiculousness, Truth, and Oral History

[37:25–38:03]

• The hosts reflect on how much of this is history vs. tall tale; Dudo may have embellished.
• Even if parts aren’t strictly factual, the incident earns its place in “ridiculous history” for the sheer comedic incompetence.
• Ben: “They figured out a Trojan horse type ruse or heist on their own…but still didn’t know what city they were in.” [37:54]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ben (on Viking nicknames):
  “How many raids do you have to accomplish… for that to become part of your name?” [05:27]
• Noel (on Hosteen’s aliases):
  “That's my favorite one, by the way… He's not a full Dan. He's half the Dan he used to be.” [12:24]
• On the sacking of Paris:
  Ben: “This was like a very violent proto heist.” [10:09]
• Noel, as the Vikings realize the mistake:
  “A quite embarrassing realization…I’m not sure what did it for them, but something. There was an ‘aha moment,’ or like an ‘oh’ moment.” [29:44]
• Ben, summarizing the fail:
  “They had successfully sacked the wrong city. A completely different city. They were Viking rubes from the wild…they never made it to Rome. Instead, they were in a different town.” [29:44]
• On Dudo’s eviscerating description:
  Ben: “Fertile in ruses is such a great insult.” [32:17] Noel: “He also uses pestilent twice, which I couldn’t help but notice.” [32:20]
• Ben:
  “They figured out a Trojan horse type ruse or heist on their own…but still didn’t know what city they were in.” [37:54]

Key Timestamps (MM:SS)

• 04:16–06:11: Viking lineage, names, and nicknames
• 09:18–12:08: Sacking of Paris, the culture of raiding
• 13:02–17:27: The failed campaign in Spain and against Moorish naval forces
• 23:56–26:38: Rome: the ultimate prize and Viking motives
• 26:38–29:05: The Trojan Horse ruse: fake burial, conning the city’s defenders
• 29:05–30:16: Realization of the blunder: sacking Luna, not Rome
• 30:47–32:32: Hosteen’s later years, Dudo’s condemnation
• 37:25–38:03: Reflection on truth, oral history, and why it’s all so “ridiculous”

Tone and Takeaways

The episode is delivered in the hosts’ trademark irreverent style, mixing earnest historical curiosity with comic relief and friendly bickering. Through Hosteen and Bjorn’s misadventure, the show underlines the importance of skepticism in historical storytelling, the endurance of Viking legend, and the universal appeal of a good (or spectacularly bad) heist gone wrong.

For history buffs and fans of epic fails alike, this is a memorable episode—one part cautionary tale, one part Viking comedy of errors.

Further Engagement

Find more discussions or contribute your own takes (including potential Viking nicknames!) via the Ridiculous Historians Facebook group or the show’s social channels.