CLASSIC: Why don't Americans use bidets?

Summary

Ridiculous History: CLASSIC Episode Summary Title: Why Don't Americans Use Bidets?
Release Date: January 4, 2025
Hosts: Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown
Produced by: iHeartRadio

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Introduction to the Topic

In this classic episode of Ridiculous History, hosts Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown delve into the curious case of why bidets, a common fixture in many parts of the world, remain largely absent in American bathrooms. The discussion is light-hearted yet informative, peppered with humor and insightful observations about sanitation practices.

Toilet Paper Consumption in the United States

The episode opens with alarming statistics that set the stage for the conversation:

• Ben (04:31): "The average American uses 23.6 rolls of toilet paper per year per capita."
• Noel (04:55): "With over 300 million people in the U.S., that totals 7.4 billion rolls of toilet paper used annually."

These figures highlight the significant reliance on toilet paper in the U.S. compared to other regions, underscoring the environmental and economic implications of such consumption.

Historical Origins of the Bidet

The hosts trace the bidet’s origins back to 16th-century France, where the term “bidet” referred to a small horse or pony used by French royalty. This evolved into a sanitation device resembling a sink integrated into wooden furniture, used primarily by the upper class.

• Noel (10:14): "The bidet was inherently intertwined with the story of class in France, which is why it’s still seen as an upper-crust item today."

Bidet Proliferation in Europe and Beyond

From the 1700s onward, bidets became more widespread across Western Europe and eventually reached Latin America and parts of Asia. However, their adoption in the United States lagged due to various cultural and economic factors.

Attempts to Introduce Bidets to America

One notable effort was made by Arnold Cohen, founder of the American Bidet Company in the 1960s. Despite innovative approaches, including installing bidets across New York, his efforts struggled against the entrenched toilet paper industry.

• Casey (27:18): "Charmin Ultra Soft made more than a billion dollars in 2017 alone."

The dominance of the toilet paper market, exemplified by brands like Charmin generating billions in revenue, posed a significant barrier to bidet adoption in the U.S.

Cultural Resistance and Misconceptions

Several factors contributed to the American aversion to bidets:

• Association with Prostitution: U.S. troops stationed in Europe during World War II encountered bidets in bordellos, leading to a stigmatization of the device.

  • Noel (19:46): "They started to associate bidets with sex work because of their experiences in bordellos."

• Perception of Cleanliness and Privacy: The intimate nature of using a bidet in personal spaces like bedrooms further alienated potential users.

  • Noel (22:02): "The bidet was associated with managing menstrual hygiene, which was a taboo topic, further hindering its acceptance."

Modern Bidet Innovations and Adoption Trends

Recent advancements have made bidets more accessible and affordable in the U.S.:

• Low-Profile Attachments: Products like Satushi’s bidet attachments mimic the original designs from the early 20th century, making installation easier without extensive remodeling.

  • Casey (32:02): "Thanks to our pal Satushi, we’ve got a super low-profile bidet attachment that’s gaining popularity."

• Technological Enhancements: Companies like Toto have introduced high-tech bidet seats with features such as heated seating and adjustable water jets, appealing to modern consumers despite their higher price points.

Environmental and Health Benefits

The hosts underscore the environmental impact of excessive toilet paper use and highlight bidets as a sustainable alternative.

• Casey (18:51): "Using bidets significantly reduces toilet paper consumption, which is both wasteful and resource-intensive."

Additionally, bidets offer health benefits by providing a more hygienic alternative for personal cleansing, which can prevent issues like hemorrhoids and improve overall sanitation practices.

Conclusion and Reflections

Ben and Noel conclude by reflecting on the cultural shifts that could facilitate greater bidet adoption in the United States. They express hope that as awareness of environmental and health benefits grows, Americans may increasingly consider integrating bidets into their daily lives.

• Noel (33:08): "We hope that the bidet revolution continues on full force. And I'll be leading the charge, my friend."

The episode wraps up with a humorous nod to future discussions, maintaining the podcast’s signature blend of education and entertainment.

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Key Takeaways

• Historical Context: Bidets originated in 16th-century France as instruments associated with the upper class, evolving into sanitation devices integrated into furniture.
• Cultural Barriers: Associations with prostitution, hedonism, and menstrual hygiene taboos hindered bidet acceptance in the U.S.
• Economic Factors: The dominant toilet paper industry in America presents significant competition to bidet adoption.
• Modern Innovations: Advances in bidet technology and design are making them more accessible and appealing to American consumers.
• Environmental and Health Benefits: Bidets offer a sustainable alternative to toilet paper, reducing environmental impact and improving personal hygiene.

Notable Quotes

• Ben (00:17): "There are going to be a lot of poop jokes in this one."
• Casey (06:23): "I'm a huge bidet fan. I'm not just saying that because of the sponsor."
• Noel (13:09): "It's strange because we spend so little time thinking about how important sanitation is."
• Noel (20:34): "In Anglo Saxon communities where bathrooms are notoriously cold and joyless rooms, the very presence of a bidet would have been regarded as a symbol of sin."
• Casey (27:18): "Charmin Ultra Soft made more than a billion dollars in 2017 alone."
• Noel (33:08): "We hope that the bidet revolution continues on full force."

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Further Engagement

Listeners are encouraged to share their own experiences with bidets and participate in the ongoing conversation about sanitation practices. The hosts invite feedback through email, social media, and their dedicated Facebook group, fostering a community of curious and engaged "ridiculous historians."

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For more intriguing episodes and historical explorations, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you enjoy your favorite podcasts.

Transcript

[Ben]

Fellow ridiculous historians, we are a family show.

[Noel]

We welcome you gratefully.

[Ben]

We are so excited that you have joined us for this classic episode. And we want you to know before.

[Noel]

You get into it, there are going.

[Ben]

To be a lot of poop jokes in this one.

[Casey]

Yeah, there was no way around it. You know, it's kind of funny, Ben. Last week's classic episode was about showing your butt. This week's is about washing it.

[Noel]

We had a phase. We had a phase.

[Casey]

It was a butt phase. We also referenced this episode quite a lot as a good example of native advertising. Because if I'm not mistaken, Ben, we did successfully pitch this to a bidet company who sponsored it back in the bidet when it originally came out. That will have been stripped out by now, but it was, I think, a tushy sponsored episode.

[Ben]

Yes, tushy. A supplier bidets. Now, let me take a moment, fellow ridiculous historians, to give some credit where it's due, it's very important to me. Noel, you and I were working on this episode. Why don't Americans use bidets? And you are the guy who came to me and said, hey, man, hey, man, what if we reached out to a bidet company and I'm the guy who said, wait, holy smokes, can we do that? And you said, what's the worst that could happen?

[Casey]

You know, I don't know if that's how it went down or not, Ben, but it has become codified in the lore of this show. So I. I thank you for the credit where it may or may not be due, but that is absolutely what happened. To some degree. We did pitch it and they did bite. But most importantly, we got to talk about bidets. I am a huge bidet fan. I'm not just saying that because of.

[Ben]

The sponsor who want a problematic way, everybody.

[Casey]

Problematic way is there. They're great. They're just. I mean, come on. Let's be honest, Ben. Wiping your butt with dry toilet paper is weird and a huge waste of resources.

[Ben]

I spend a lot of time in countries where bidets are crazy common. And I just got to tell you guys, Japan is pooping in the future.

[Casey]

Oh, yeah, man. I finally upgraded and got myself a Toto washlet. And it's changed my life. Just to jump in here for a second. I just want to make sure that it's known that we're three for three. Toilet paper is barbaric. It really is.

[Ben]

Unanimously.

[Noel]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Whether you are royalty or a roaming vagrant, at some point you will have to poop. And the study of sanitation is a study of civilization in this classic episode. Well, in this classic episode, we ask ourselves about how to poop.

[Casey]

Right, let's roll that beautiful bidet footage.

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[Noel]

Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartRadio Foreign. Welcome to the show, fellow ridiculous historians. We'd like to start today's episode with just a couple of statistics, some of which may surprise you.

[Casey]

You gonna give us the straight poop, Ben?

[Noel]

I am, I am.

[Casey]

And I'm Noel, by the way.

[Noel]

And yep, you're Noel. I'm Ben. That's our super producer, Casey Pegram. Saving the show every time we are here in the booth with you. So first things first. The Average American uses 23.6 rolls of toilet paper per year per capita.

[Casey]

Huh.

[Noel]

Which doesn't seem like that much, right?

[Casey]

No, it doesn't.

[Noel]

Until you consider that There are over 300 million people in the U.S. ah.

[Casey]

Yeah, we're lousy with people.

[Noel]

And that makes a total of 7.4 billion rolls of toilet paper used in the US each year.

[Casey]

You ever just think about just picture everyone in the world's butt?

[Noel]

You know what?

[Casey]

Kind of blows the mind a little bit, doesn't it?

[Noel]

Some people will think it's particularly cheeky of us to have back to back episodes related to butts. Or should we say cheek to Cheek.

[Casey]

Yeah, you know, like the way you dance with the lady in red, you know?

[Noel]

Thanks for classing that up, man. We seriously. I think we need as much class as we can get in this episode. The average American uses 50% more TP than people in Western Europe and Japan. And there's a big reason for that, which is the subject of our episode.

[Casey]

Today, which, by the way.

[Noel]

Yes.

[Casey]

Let me tell you, we are excited about this for a couple of reasons. I don't know if you guys know what custom content is. That's sort of the industry buzzword for when you make a piece of content for a company, which is kind of what we're doing today. But it's totally awesome because I am just a huge fan of bidets, first of all. And I'm a huge fan of this company that is sponsoring this episode, a company called Tushy, who actually sent us these bidets. And I will tell you, my friend, my butt has never been cleane. My disposition has never been sunnier. I'm just loving life. And the bidet. Life is the life for me, my friend.

[Noel]

Yeah, it's a brand new bidet. Get it?

[Casey]

I see what you did there. It's gonna happen.

[Noel]

We've been throwing that around.

[Casey]

Although apparently I saw an Englishman talking about it and he pronounces it bidet.

[Noel]

Yeah, I saw the same video, Noel. Now, let's continue peeking behind the curtain here because I want to assure you, friends and neighbors, that my co host enthusiasm is genuine and sincere.

[Casey]

I literally talk about it all the time.

[Noel]

It's weird. It gets weird sometimes. But. But, oh, but this is gonna be ridiculous.

[Casey]

No, it's fun. I'm having fun already.

[Noel]

So in our. In another show that we do stuff they don't want you to know, with our illustrious, amazing co host, Matt Frederick, we actually also did a bidet sponsorship. We did some ads for them. But this episode came about because we reached out to them and said, we're gonna do this anyway. Do you guys wanna hang out, basically. And we're so glad that we.

[Casey]

Yeah, we reached out to them. Yeah.

[Noel]

We did it.

[Casey]

Yeah. Cause it just made sense. And it's like, podcasts need sponsors. Why not? There's a match made in butt heaven.

[Noel]

Because we're also fairly silly and juvenile for two grown men.

[Casey]

You know what? I'm never gonna let potty mind die.

[Noel]

Heck yeah. Bangarang. That's what I say.

[Casey]

Very good, Rufio.

[Noel]

Rufio. So we started investigating the history of this, and just at the very front of the episode, we want to point out the following. Although it can seem very hilarious and silly, and I would argue rightfully so, to talk about these kinds of gadgets and the techniques people use to stay clean across the world, the truth of the matter is that sanitation is a tremendously important thing throughout history and in the modern day.

[Casey]

Yeah. Have we talked about the fact that today in San Francisco, specifically I saw an interview with the head of their sanitation. It costs something like $1 million a month or something like that just to clean out their sewage system?

[Noel]

Yeah, there are a lot of people and those, those costs aren't really going to go down.

[Casey]

Well, it's because of this thing, if you heard of this, it's called a fatberg. You know what a fatberg, it's the.

[Noel]

Collection of like grease and dirt and hair. Toilet paper, toilet paper especially wipes that.

[Casey]

You'Re not supposed to flush.

[Noel]

Sanitary products, condoms. Absolutely.

[Casey]

Just all the stuff that you're not supposed to flush. And that's a huge infrastructure cost. I actually saw an article about one of these fatbergs that was so massive in London it was the size of like a double decker bus. They removed it and they put it under glass in a museum.

[Noel]

Yes. Yeah. And it looks just as disgusting as you might imagine. You can find it, you can find this article online and you don't have to take our word for it. The only recommendation we would make before you read the article is to be sure that you are not eating as you peruse it.

[Casey]

They call it the Whitechapel monster, which.

[Noel]

Is such a cool name.

[Casey]

And in England, London rather, Thames Water, which is the company that operates the water system there in London, spends a million pounds a month just to clear these kinds of blockages.

[Noel]

And it's a constant battle. It's not like they're getting ahead of the problem. It's strange because we spend so little time thinking about how important sanitation is, especially in a world where the majority of people now officially live in urban areas. So this Fatberg stuff, this problem with sewage infrastructure, it's not going to go away. For most of our listeners here in the US A bidet, which you've probably heard of before, sounds like a very, you know, fancy pinkies up European thing. Right. You would associate it with an upper crust lifestyle. That's for good reason and there's a great reason for that. So let's turn back the clock. Let's travel to France, 16th century maybe? That's right, the 16th century. You see, in the 1500s, bidet was a word referring to a specific type of pet, a pony, to be. To be absolutely specific about it. And these ponies were kept by French royalty. The word bidet itself originates from an old French word which I graphically mispronouncing bider, which means to trot.

[Casey]

And these. You know, I'm picturing these fancy Frenchmen and women in their finery trotting around on these dainty little ponies, perhaps with ringlets in their manes, you know, flowing locks, flowing locks bedecked with little bows, maybe, I don't know, white stockings. Whatever, man. We're editorializing here. But I'm just painting a picture, okay? It's for effect. But it wasn't until the 1600s that the bidet as we know it, the B day, whatever, was kind of came into fruition. But it wasn't what we know today. Today's bidet.

[Noel]

It wasn't today's bidet.

[Casey]

It was the bidet of yesterday. And it was really just like a sink that looked like a chair.

[Noel]

So what? Yeah, let's take a closer look at these bidets of yesterday. The apparatus itself was resembled in some ways, an ottoman, an ornamental ottoman. The basin was set within wooden furniture and bidets themselves. You'll hear different contradicting claims about whether there was a single inventor or whether there were multiple people to whom the idea occurred around the same time. But one thing for sure we know is that they were furniture makers because these things were set into wooden furniture.

[Casey]

And the thing about that, too, is there's a reason for that, Ben. Because these were not in bathrooms because they didn't have indoor plumbing. The idea of a bathroom would be more likely. It would be like in your chamber pot, right. Which was just a bucket under your bed, poo and pee into, or in your dressing room or what have you. Your. What do you call it? Your boudoir. Right. And the bidet would just be this little. I'm thinking of it as like a nightstand kind of with short legs, and this inlaid basin of water that would just be filled up and you'd squat over it and literally splash yourself manually.

[Noel]

Right. And this would be. I love the point you bring up about there not being a separate bathroom or restroom. So this would be either in the dressing chambers or in the bedroom itself. And to keep it classy would often be a lid, something made of wood or wicker or leather, and a lot.

[Casey]

Of this, you know, these furniture makers would inlay these little basins into these wicker furniture, like you were saying, Ben. And it was almost to like disguise the. The function of the device.

[Noel]

Yeah. Because it's a very intimate thing. You're already in someone's bedroom, and then you see how they handle some very personal business. But I feel weird every time we say, but I'm gonna get over this. I promise. However I like it. There we go.

[Casey]

Good substitute.

[Noel]

Thank you. Thank you. However, in the origin story of the bidet, it is inherently intertwined with the story of class in France. And that is why, as we alluded to at the top of the show, that is why bidets even today are seen as this more upper crust fancy thing.

[Casey]

And you start to see why this might not have taken off in the United States quite as much because of that association with almost hedonism. Right. Cause soldiers would see these when they were traveling around Europe during World War II.

[Noel]

Yeah. And we want to give a shout out to the Atlantic because there is a fantastic article we found called the Bidet's Revival. In this article, author Maria Theresa Hart explores not just the somewhat murky origin of the bidet, but I would argue, even more importantly, the social role it played. It occurred in culture. It was found in paintings. It was referenced by the most wealthy, successful people of the time.

[Casey]

Even Marie Antoinette, as she awaited her. Her head to be chopped off by the guillotine, was able to get her gold encrusted bidet in her cell because she was. That was like one of the comforts that she was used to. Apparently. She used to travel around with one, had one made that would go in her coach. So this was very much associated with, like, kind of the upper crust. But then it filtered down to kind of everyone eventually, right?

[Noel]

Well, everyone in Europe.

[Casey]

Everyone in Europe and eventually Asia and elsewhere. Everywhere except the United States. And what this article does a fantastic job of doing is kind of exploring why that might be.

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How are you?

[Casey]

Hello.

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Bless you all.

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Really? That's the opening? Really?

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[Noel]

Okay, real quick. Timeline. The first written reference to the bidet itself is in 1726 in Italy. But as we know, the first written reference doesn't mean it wasn't around, right?

[Casey]

Of course.

[Noel]

It just meant that we have surviving documentation of someone writing about it.

[Casey]

Oh, and by those days, Ben, it was a fancier version. It had, like, a pump with the water that would squirt. You know, more like you didn't have to splash. That seems very messy and ineffective.

[Noel]

So around this time, from the 1700s on, Europe experiences what we can only call a bidet boom. A boom of bidets.

[Casey]

I love it. It sounds like just an explosion of bidets going everywhere.

[Noel]

Yes.

[Casey]

Watch out.

[Noel]

They're flying through the air to a home near you. And it spread to other social classes in France, as you said, Noel, to other countries in Western Europe, and then Latin America, the Middle East, Asia, but not the U.S. and there's a weird reason for that, and we should explore that while we're here. At this point in space and time, how did the US not jump on the bidet train? How did they not straddle the bidet train?

[Casey]

Ben, It's a good question, because everything we've said up to this point makes it sound like a pretty appealing train to ride. Right. It helps the environment. We didn't even talk about how much water and resources are used in making toilet paper. Paper products in general. Right, Right. And how much money it costs local and state governments to clean up these disgusting blobs of. Of congealed TP and crap that are clogging up our sewer systems. And as a bidet user myself, I can tell you, sir, it leaves you feeling fresh as a daisy.

[Noel]

Well, they're more hygienic. That's part of it.

[Casey]

That's a big part of it. I think.

[Noel]

That's a big part.

[Casey]

Yeah, but.

[Noel]

But despite this, despite these advantages, and friends and neighbors, you can tell that we have a pretty strong opinion about this stuff. But despite the advantages that were inherently present in bidet technology, they were thought of as very dirty, filthy things in the U.S. why? Because in World War II, we've got allied troops, U.S. troops stationed in Europe. Right. And they are visiting. There's no need to use a euphemism here. They are visiting bordellos, they're visiting houses of prostitution, and they saw bidets in bathrooms, which was a normal thing, but because of the location they were at, they started to associate these with sex work.

[Casey]

Interesting. I feel like it's a little crappy of them. To judge. Oh, boy. To judge when they're. They're. They're hanging out in the bordellos. Like, what, they're good enough to pay for sex, but they're, like, freaked out by their strange cleansing implement.

[Noel]

And also the process by which bidet cleanses someone after they have used the restroom. Right.

[Casey]

Or had intercourse.

[Noel]

Or had intercourse. Yeah. It's associated with a sexual aspect because you're washing out genitalia. Right.

[Casey]

That's absolutely true. In fact, it was even associated with birth control. And birth control in those days equals sin, hell and damnation.

[Noel]

And we found a great quote from a birth control pioneer, Norman Hare, in 1936. Right?

[Casey]

Yeah, that's right. He says that in Anglo Saxon communities where bathrooms are notoriously cold and joyless rooms lacking any kind of warmth or decor, the very presence of a bidet would have been regarded as like, a symbol of sin.

[Noel]

Right. Which is so strange because, again, we see this association with hedonism, debauchery, and obscene wealth carrying over from the 1700s to World War II.

[Casey]

Dude, that's right. This would have been way in, like, the 40s. So we've got the evolution of the bidet kind of reaching its logical conclusion at this point, where you've got indoor plumbing at this point. So the bidet has moved into the bathroom next to the toilet. It's still a separate implement. And that's why a lot of Americans, when they see them, it's rife for comedy. And like, you know, Euro Vacation, where somebody. National anthem someone ends up drinking from the bidet and then making a joke about how, hey, pretty cool, you all have water fountains in the bathroom here.

[Noel]

They're kind of low, though.

[Casey]

Weird. I forget what that is. Definitely in a movie, and I can't remember which one. Write us and let us know.

[Noel]

Yeah, people getting squirted in the face and stuff. There's. There's another association that bidets had which worked against them, at least in the US and it is tied to the misogyny of the Time. And that is that they were helpful in the process of menstruation.

[Casey]

That's right. Because there were no sanitary products in these days. There's actually a really amazing sounding book called the Victorian Lady's Guide to Sex, Marriage and Manners. So this is. We're going back a little bit, but this is still. It doesn't get much better than this. And it talks about how women to rid themselves of the product of menstruation, the blood would use what they referred to as jelly rags. And it was literally just a piece of fabric that they would use to physically wipe this area. And that just sounds really unpleasant and messy. And the bidet would give you a nice little spritz, clean you right off. You're good to go for at least a little while.

[Noel]

Right, right. And so it's strange now when we look back from 2018, that the ability to provide a more healthy alternative in the process of menstruation was not seen as a selling point. It was placed on the same level as prostitution or unwanted pregnancy to be delicate about it. And these all became hindrances for the bidet itself because they were inherently being linked in the American consumer's mind with a bunch of things that at the time people just did not speak of in public.

[Casey]

We're kind of jumping all over the place a little bit, which is fine, that's what we do. But if we go back to 1928, according to this amazing Atlantic article, there was actually a patent for a design that's very similar to what we see in bidets today by our buddy John Harvey Kellogg. You know, of corn flakes and masturbation fame.

[Noel]

Uh huh. Cornflakes, Anti masturbation fame.

[Casey]

Excuse me.

[Noel]

Well, he would, he would take exception. He's also a big fan of enemas, which I think we mentioned in an earlier episode.

[Casey]

Yogurt enemas, I believe.

[Noel]

Yeah, yeah.

[Casey]

Weird guy. But you know, forward thinking when it comes to washing your butt. And he was American.

[Noel]

Yeah, he was American. And his very particular beliefs about how one would pursue personal health obviously led him to design this thing. Now there's no two ways about it. Harvey Kellogg may have been really eccentric, but he was also a brilliant person. So he would have, if the bidet had not already been invented centuries before, he would have have invented it in the U.S. oh, dude.

[Casey]

But I'm looking at this patent right now. It's a drawing. Yeah, it's just called JH Kellogg Anal Douche. Yeah, sounds like it's his title.

[Noel]

And it's a It's a. It's like a nozzle.

[Casey]

Sorry about John Harvey Kellogg Anal Douche.

[Noel]

And it's a. It's a. It's a nozzle.

[Casey]

It's a nozzle that it kind of splits off from the water supply that you would see. And it's the same as. And hasn't changed much. Right. Indoor plumbing. Yeah. And it goes up and kind of out from underneath the toilet seat, and there's just a little spritzer nozzle. And you have a control with a valve and it spritzes you. And you might ask, isn't it gonna go everywhere? No, sir or madam or whomever it's blocked by. Your butt goes in your butt.

[Noel]

That's true.

[Casey]

Yeah.

[Noel]

Now, of course, we should also point out that these things were not advertised as a complete replacement for the use of toilet paper. They were, in addition to. So you use much less toilet paper. Because one of the questions people would have is, how do you dry yourself off? Right.

[Casey]

That's dab.

[Noel]

That's where that stuff comes into play. Yeah. And you use so much less toilet paper. But still, as we're in the 20th century, early to mid 20th century, the days are seen as hedonistic, European, and I hope you can hear the italics when we say it that way.

[Casey]

Like, ooh la la.

[Noel]

Right, exactly.

[Casey]

European.

[Noel]

And they seemed set to remain a thoroughly un American thing. But that didn't stop people from trying to make bidet waves. There was a guy named Arnold Cohen who was the founder of the American Bidet Company, because he created a specific type of bidet for his father, who was having some health problems, some hemorrhoids, perhaps, or rashes.

[Casey]

Yeah, yeah. Or you can get these, like they call them, fissures that you can get from having, you know, being unclean down there. It's bad times.

[Noel]

And he ultimately had a very difficult time with this. Even though he was an experienced veteran man in the advertising industry, no matter what he did, he couldn't really seem to get this off the ground and in bathrooms across America.

[Casey]

We're in the 60s at this point.

[Noel]

We're in the 60s.

[Casey]

Yes.

[Noel]

Thank you. 1964. And. And he did some out of the box stuff. He went. And on his own initiative, he installed hundreds or thousands of these all over New York.

[Casey]

Yeah. But unfortunately, this is one man going up against big toilet paper, which is a thing.

[Noel]

It is.

[Casey]

Can we hear some stats about how much toilet paper is sold? How much money is generated from toilet paper in this country a year?

[Noel]

Yeah, yeah. Because we had the stats about how much is used.

[Casey]

I want to know how much.

[Noel]

Yeah, let's put some financial numbers on that.

[Casey]

Dude, this is insane. Okay, so Charmin Ultra Soft, which is, you know, you know, Charmin, they've been around for a long time. They got a lot of brand recognition. They're only the third most popular brand of toilet paper in sales. Their Charmin Ultra Soft variety made more than a billion dollars alone in 2017.

[Noel]

Wow.

[Casey]

The most popular private label made $1.7 billion in 2017. So when we say big toilet paper, holy smokes, we are not kidding.

[Noel]

It's a billion dollar booming business. Butts belligerently opposed to bidets. Yes.

[Casey]

Oh, that was good.

[Noel]

Oh, thanks, man. Thanks. So we can tell from those statistics, which are really recent. 2017 you said, right?

[Casey]

Yes, sir.

[Noel]

So we can tell that the battle between bidets and toilet paper did not work out for bidets back in the 60s in the US but you know where it caught on? You know where Cohen did find success for the American bidet company?

[Casey]

Do tell.

[Noel]

Japan.

[Casey]

Ah, that's right, because the Japanese were importing a lot of American toilets because original Japanese toilets were really uncomfortable. They were super low to the ground. You had to squat, which now they've got these squatty potties. And they say that it's good for you, but I don't know about all that. But the Japanese, being very innovative people, kind of really took that bidet design that Kellogg patented so long ago and took it to the next level. There's this company called Toto that makes a product called the Washlet, which is a remote control bidet with a heated seat that can be hot or cold. The bidet stream can change directions. You wanted to go counterclockwise or clockwise or give you a nice direct jet kind of water pick vibe. You can do that. And these things are like thousands of dollars, or some of them, it depends. They're like, you know, luxury toilet seats.

[Noel]

But the bottom line one is maybe $500, which is still very expensive. Very expensive in comparison to a regular commode.

[Casey]

Yeah. Or, you know, the amazing product from our pals at Tushy.

[Noel]

There we go. There we go.

[Jason Alexander]

I'm Jason Alexander.

[Peter Tilden]

And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the really Know really.

[Jason Alexander]

Podcast, our mission is, is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions.

[Peter Tilden]

Like why they refused to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor.

[Jason Alexander]

We got the answer.

[Peter Tilden]

Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer? We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by.

[Jason Alexander]

Mr. Brian Cranston is with us.

[Noel]

How are you?

[Jason Alexander]

Hello.

[Peter Tilden]

My friend Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park.

[Jason Alexander]

Wayne Knight, welcome to really. No, really, sir.

[Casey]

Bless you all.

[Peter Tilden]

Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging.

[Casey]

Really? That's the opening. Really?

[Jason Alexander]

No, really?

[Casey]

Yeah, really? No, really.

[Jason Alexander]

Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win.

[Peter Tilden]

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[Jason Alexander]

It's called really, really? No really. And you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Noel]

So we see that this technology originates in France and proliferates throughout the world. But we also see that this partially because of the cultural associations, I think more and more frequently because of the price point, bidets have been, you know, a distant second place in the story of sanitation here in the U.S. yeah.

[Casey]

You know how much toilet paper was sold in Europe in 2017?

[Noel]

Much less than in the US 13mil. It's relatively small.

[Casey]

Drop in the chamber bucket.

[Noel]

Cause we're talking. There we go. Dropping the chamber bucket. Cause we're talking about a continent there that's not just a country, that's Europe entire. And so this catches us up to the modern day. There's an excellent article on our website, howstuffworks.com behind by Allison Cooper called the Bidet. Is it making a Comeback? And it turns out, as you and I have been talking about off air, Noel, it turns out that the bidet may actually have its time to shine here in the States.

[Casey]

To shine up our buttholes.

[Noel]

Yeah, man. That's the truth of the matter. And look, we know this can sound. We know this.

[Casey]

A nine.

[Noel]

Here we go. There we go.

[Casey]

Oh, my gosh.

[Noel]

Well done.

[Casey]

We're on fire.

[Noel]

We know this can sound a little bit strange, but the facts, the objective statistics are on the side of this argument that bidets are gaining ground here in the US And I think a huge part of that is because for decades I assumed, and I think most everybody assumed rightly so, that, that you would have to remodel your house, you would have to install a new water line to run to that bidet, Right?

[Casey]

That's right. But now, thanks to our pal Satushi, he's Got a super low profile bidet attachment that has gained popularity. And it's actually very similar to that patent from our Buddy Kellogg from 1930. It just splits off from the existing water line. And look, we know. We know they're sponsoring the show, but I really do. It's a great thing to have in your house. I'm a fan, and I really hope the bidet revolution continues on full force. And I'll be leading the charge, my friend. I don't know about you.

[Noel]

It's a brand new bidet in America. We got there, Noel.

[Casey]

We did, man.

[Noel]

We hope that. I think it's fairly obvious to everyone that we enjoyed ourselves so much on this episode. Casey, I am sure that you have cut out several solid minutes of us just laughing at each other, just saying butts, just saying buts, but we. Dang it. However, we hope you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed exploring it. And again, as funny and silly as it may seem, as taboo as it may feel to discuss these things, the truth of the matter is that for multiple reasons, the role of toilet paper, the role of personal sanitation.

[Casey]

The role of toilet paper.

[Noel]

Oh, I just walked into that one.

[Casey]

I love it.

[Noel]

Oh, man. Thank you, Noel. I wouldn't have noticed that one. These various factors come into play in a tremendously important way. Not just environmentalism, but also your own personal health.

[Casey]

I think those US Versus European toilet paper sales stats speak volumes.

[Noel]

So let us know what your experiences are like. We have a lot of listeners from around the world. I'd also be interested to hear from folks in Australia because we didn't really explore Australia's sanitation in this episode. Yeah.

[Casey]

And does the water really turn down the drain in the other direction? Let us know. You can write to [e-mail], you can hit us up on our Facebook page. Or better yet, join our Facebook group, the Ridiculous Historians, where we get into all kinds of fun stuff.

[Noel]

We'd like to thank Casey Pegram for yet again saving the show. We'd like to thank Allison Cooper and John Donovan over at How Stuff Works.

[Casey]

Yeah. And Loreal Dove, while we're at it.

[Noel]

This is what it sounds like.

[Casey]

She didn't really write anything today, but I just. I just.

[Noel]

Such a cool sound cue.

[Casey]

I'm sorry.

[Noel]

We also want to thank Alex Williams, who composed our track. And most importantly, as we. As we love to say every episode, we'd like to thank you specifically you.

[Casey]

Buy a tushy bidet. Buy a tushy bidet.

[Jason Alexander]

Buy a tushy bidet.

[Noel]

Oh, no.

[Casey]

It's subliminal. You like that?

[Noel]

Yeah. You're proselytizing.

[Casey]

I know.

[Noel]

That's it for now, but stay tuned for our next episode, where we cover very strange stories of voter fraud.

[Casey]

Oh, yeah, yeah. We're talking election fraud in the 1800s. That includes stuff ranging from all kinds of bad behavior, kidnapping, forced intoxication, and.

[Noel]

My favorite one, repeat voting in disguise. We got to get a trench coat.

[Casey]

You can't make this stuff up. And a fake mustache.

[Noel]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Casey]

We'll see you then, ridiculous historians. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Jason Alexander]

I'm Jason Alexander.

[Peter Tilden]

And I'm Peter Tilden.

[Jason Alexander]

And together, our mission on the really.

[Peter Tilden]

Know really podcast is to get the.

[Jason Alexander]

True answers to life's baffling questions, like.

[Peter Tilden]

Why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum a failure? And does your dog truly love you? We have the answer.

[Jason Alexander]

Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win.

[Peter Tilden]

First $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign. Jason Bobblehead the Really no Ellie podcast.

[Jason Alexander]

Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.