Ridiculous History: Did Pirates Really Ruin the US Dream of the Metric System?

Episode Release Date: May 8, 2025 | Host: Ben Bolan & Noel Brown | Source: iHeartPodcasts

Introduction

In the episode titled "Did Pirates Really Ruin the US Dream of the Metric System?" from the podcast Ridiculous History, hosts Ben Bolan and Noel Brown embark on a fascinating exploration of an unconventional legend: the idea that pirates played a pivotal role in the United States' reluctance to adopt the metric system. Through engaging dialogue, historical anecdotes, and a touch of humor, the duo delves into the complexities of measurement systems and the quirky path the US has taken regarding metrics.

The Metric System: A Brief Overview

Noel Brown initiates the discussion by defining the metric system for listeners unfamiliar with it. "The metric system is humanity's most popular form of measurement. It is a decimal system of weights and measures based on the meter for length and the kilogram for mass," he explains at [05:36]. Ben Bolan adds historical context, linking the metric system to the French Revolution of 1789. "It ushered in a lot of chaos and along with that, it ushered in some pretty solid innovations like the metric system or the guillotine," Ben remarks at [06:11], highlighting the system's origins amidst revolutionary change.

Adoption and Global Spread

The hosts highlight the global acceptance of the metric system, emphasizing its efficiency and scientific grounding. "It's easier to learn because it's a decimal system. It's got predictable patterns," Noel notes at [28:09]. Despite its advantages, the United States remains one of the few countries resistant to full metric adoption, alongside Liberia and Myanmar. The conversation touches upon various legislative efforts to promote metrication in the US, such as the Metric Conversion Act of 1975 and subsequent amendments. However, "Each of these had their own varying degrees of success. Or lack thereof," Ben observes at [32:14], underscoring the persistent challenges in shifting entrenched measurement habits.

The Pirate Legend: A Historical Anecdote

The centerpiece of the episode is the legend that pirates thwarted the US's adoption of the metric system. Ben narrates the story at [11:59], detailing how Thomas Jefferson, frustrated with the disparate measurement systems across the newly formed states, reached out to France for a standardized system. A French scientist named Joseph Dombey was sent to introduce the metric system to the US, carrying with him precise measurement artifacts: a meter rod and a kilogram cylinder.

Unfortunately, Dombey's voyage was derailed when his ship encountered a severe storm and was subsequently captured by British privateers in the Caribbean. "As a result, this new nation...had different regions with different measuring systems," Noel explains at [10:12], setting the stage for the chaotic backdrop against which this event unfolded.

The privateers, exploiting their semi-autonomous status granted by the British government, seized the ship and its valuable cargo. Dombey perished in captivity, and the metric artifacts were dispersed and auctioned off. "If Dombey had not been...waylaid by...pirates, Jefferson would have actually done his razzle dazzle on Congress. And we all may well be full on metric heads today," Ben muses at [15:16].

Debunking the Legend

While the tale of pirates disrupting the metric introduction is captivating, Bolan and Brown approach it with skepticism. Noel remarks at [16:24], "It does have a little bit of an apocryphal vibe to it," suggesting the story leans more towards legend than fact. They acknowledge that while the key events—Dombey's capture and death—are historically accurate, the direct causation linking pirates to the US's metric reluctance is tenuous.

To investigate further, the hosts consult Snopes, a fact-checking resource, and explore additional historical documents. They reveal that Thomas Jefferson was a staunch advocate for uniform measurements long before the metric system emerged in France. His efforts to standardize measurements faced bureaucratic inertia and competing priorities within the young nation. "Jefferson had already published and submitted to Congress a paper on the topic of uniform measurements," Noel states at [17:05], indicating that the resistance to metrication wasn't solely due to external piracy-related disruptions.

Cultural and Political Factors

The discussion shifts to broader cultural and political reasons behind the US's hesitation to adopt the metric system. Bolan points out, "It's apolitical, but it does have a little bit of that viva la France vibe to it," at [09:11], suggesting a subtle resistance rooted in national identity and a preference for traditional measurement systems. They also touch upon the arbitrary nature of customary units like feet and inches, contrasting them with the rationality of the metric system.

Noel adds, "It's an arduous six-year survey...," referring to the meticulous process France undertook to establish the meter. This contrasts sharply with the fragmented and varied measurement practices across the US states in the late 18th century, highlighting administrative and coordination challenges unique to the American context.

Modern Implications and Continued Resistance

Despite several legislative attempts to promote metrication, the US remains largely entrenched in its customary units. "In 1893, all weights and measures used were defined with respect to metric standards," Ben notes at [30:33], yet public adoption lagged significantly. The Metric Conversion Act of 1975, though a pivotal moment, saw minimal impact as "the public ignores once again," Noel observes at [32:24].

The hosts discuss how cultural inertia and perhaps a subtle form of xenophobia—resisting a system perceived as European—contribute to the ongoing resistance. Bolan humorously comments, "It's like our country has a phobia about this," at [01:37], encapsulating the enigmatic aversion Americans have towards embracing metrication fully.

The Role of Consensus and Standardization

A critical point in the discussion is the importance of consensus in adopting standardized systems. "It is a matter of what everyone agrees on," Noel emphasizes at [28:19], highlighting that the metric system thrives on universal agreement, a feature the US has struggled to internalize. Bolan reinforces this by stating, "It's a gram for everyone, of course, except for the United States...," at [32:14], underscoring the system's global embrace versus American reticence.

Humorous Illustrations of Measurement Avoidance

To illustrate the US's creative avoidance of metric units, the hosts reference a Language Nerds article filled with humorous examples. At [37:52], Ben highlights an ad where a toilet flush is described as handling "seven billiard balls in a single flush," instead of using liters. Similarly, Noel mocks descriptions like "one trumpet player" leaving space for ego to denote six feet, emphasizing the absurdity and inconsistency in non-metric measurements.

Final Thoughts and Conclusion

In wrapping up, Bolan and Brown acknowledge that while pirates add a colorful hue to the narrative, the true reasons behind the US's metric hesitation are multifaceted, involving historical inertia, cultural identity, and bureaucratic challenges. "We can conclude that Dombey and piracy's role is somewhat overstated in the legend," Ben states at [22:56], suggesting that broader societal factors are at play.

Noel concurs, "It really seems apocryphal, this notion that... couldn’t they just work it out," at [23:44], indicating that the story simplifies a more complex reality. They conclude that the US's relationship with the metric system is less about direct interference from pirates and more about a cumulative resistance to change entrenched measurement practices.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Noel Brown ([05:36]): "The metric system is humanity's most popular form of measurement. It is a decimal system of weights and measures based on the meter for length and the kilogram for mass."

• Ben Bolan ([06:11]): "It ushered in a lot of chaos and along with that, it ushered in some pretty solid innovations like the metric system or the guillotine."

• Noel Brown ([15:16]): "If Dombey had not been diverted by that storm and waylaid by...pirates, Jefferson would have actually done his razzle dazzle on Congress. And we all may well be full on metric heads today."

• Noel Brown ([28:09]): "It's easier to learn because it's a decimal system. It's got predictable patterns."

• Ben Bolan ([32:14]): "Each of these had their own varying degrees of success. Or lack thereof."

• Noel Brown ([37:05]): "It's a grudge thing. It's very weird."

Conclusion

Ridiculous History masterfully combines humor with historical investigation to debunk a quirky legend, offering listeners a nuanced understanding of the US's complex relationship with the metric system. Through lively banter and thorough research, Ben Bolan and Noel Brown illuminate how myths can sometimes overshadow more intricate truths, all while keeping the narrative engaging and informative. This episode serves as a testament to the podcast's ability to transform seemingly trivial topics into captivating historical explorations.