Ridiculous History Podcast Summary

Title: Victorians Got Super Weird With Flirting, Part One: "Fan Fiction"
Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
Release Date: February 4, 2025

Ridiculous History delves into the peculiar and often overlooked facets of human civilization. In the episode titled "Victorians Got Super Weird With Flirting, Part One: 'Fan Fiction'," hosts Ben Bullen and Noel Brett Brown explore the intricate and clandestine methods Victorians employed to express romantic interest amidst stringent societal norms.

Understanding Victorian Society and Its Constraints

The Victorian era, marked by rapid industrialization and scientific progress, presented a society deeply entrenched in rigid hierarchies and traditional values. Queen Victoria herself sought to reinforce these societal norms by promoting purity, piety, and duty—concepts that emphasized chastity before marriage, religious devotion, and adherence to one's societal role.

Ben Bullen aptly summarizes the societal pressures:

"Victoria really was trying to impose some very rigid, traditional kind of family values... This was not a great time for women's rights in which is ironically brought on by a woman, the Queen." ([16:17])

The era’s strict moral codes made open expressions of affection taboo, especially among the upper echelons of society. Men faced repercussions for misconduct, but it was the women who bore the brunt of societal punishment, making interactions between unmarried men and women highly scrutinized and fraught with risk.

The Art of Subtle Flirting: Fan Language

In an environment where direct expressions of affection were perilous, Victorians developed sophisticated non-verbal communication methods to convey romantic interest discreetly. One such method was fan language, where the positioning and movement of a hand-held fan served as a covert medium for flirtation.

Noel Brett Brown introduces the concept:

"The Victorian era is so romanticized because secret love is so much more sultry... there are a lot of pretty, you know, sultry novelizations of this era and the types of little trysts that some of these very mannered folks would have." ([24:23])

These subtle gestures allowed individuals to communicate their intentions without overt actions that could be misinterpreted or lead to scandal. For instance:

• Carrying the fan in the right hand in front of the face signified a request to be followed.
• Letting the fan rest on the left cheek meant a polite decline, while on the right cheek, it indicated interest.
• Drawing the fan across the eye expressed an apology, and closing the fan suggested a desire to speak privately.

Ben Bullen humorously critiques these gestures:

"You have to be very careful, especially if you are a pressed member of the society at the time... it is so weird." ([29:44])

The complexity and specificity of fan language highlight the lengths to which Victorians went to navigate the intricacies of courtship within societal constraints.

Flower Language: Botany as a Romantic Lexicon

Parallel to fan language, Victorians also employed the language of flowers as another layer of secret communication. Flowers carried specific meanings, allowing individuals to express sentiments that were otherwise socially restricted.

Noel Brett Brown explains:

"Flowers, whether seen singly or in complicated arrangements, communicated the incommunicable... Foreign to the direct expression of feelings, flowers became a medium for covert communication." ([43:55])

Examples of flower meanings include:

• Red Roses: Symbolized profound love and commitment.
• Purple Violets: Indicated that the giver's thoughts were occupied with love for the recipient.
• Apple Blossoms: Communicated that the recipient was the primary object of affection.
• Yellow Carnations: Signified rejection, conveying that the sender did not reciprocate the feelings.
• Ivy Leaves: Represented friendship and indicated a friend zone scenario.

These floral codes enabled Victorians to navigate romantic interactions with a degree of safety and discretion. Ben Bullen reflects on the practicality and risks associated with this method:

"If you get a yellow carnation back, it was... being rejected. That would be... devastating." ([47:29])

The cost and accessibility of specific flowers were also indicative of one’s social standing, as not everyone could afford the elaborate arrangements required to send meaningful messages.

Postage Stamp Flirtations: Letters as Secret Messages

In addition to fan and flower languages, Victorians utilized the placement and orientation of postage stamps on letters to convey hidden messages. This method allowed couriers to express intentions without alerting third parties who might intercept and read the correspondence.

Ben Bullen illustrates the subtlety of this practice:

"The placement of the stamp was a way to bypass the fact that you are hitting on someone who may already be part of a larger family." ([39:30])

Examples of stamp-based codes include:

• Upside-Down Stamp on the Top Left Corner: "I love you."
• Upside-Down Stamp on the Right Corner: "Get out of my DMs. I don't want to talk to you anymore."
• Stamp in the Middle at the Right Hand Edge: "Write immediately. I'm burning with desire."
• Friend Zone Indicators: Placement on different corners implied different levels of friendship or disinterest.

These codes required both parties to be knowledgeable about their meanings, adding another layer of secrecy and exclusivity to their communications.

The Social Implications of Secret Flirtations

Engaging in covert romantic exchanges was fraught with social risks. Discovering flirtatious intentions could lead to significant social ostracization, especially for women who were disproportionately punished for transgressions. Thus, the methods developed were not just about romantic expression but also about survival within a rigid societal framework.

Noel Brett Brown emphasizes the dangers:

"Usually, by the way, this is a pretty misogynistic hierarchy at the time. So a dude would do something bad, and then it was the woman, the female partner, who was punished, of course." ([23:30])

These clandestine interactions often required participants to be inventive and cautious, fostering a culture of secrecy and indirect communication.

Conclusion and Continuing the Conversation

The Victorian era's unique blend of strict societal norms and innovative communication methods created a complex landscape for romantic interactions. Through fan language, flower symbolism, and postage stamp codes, Victorians navigated the delicate balance between expressing affection and adhering to societal expectations.

The episode concludes with a teaser for the next part of the series, promising to delve deeper into the history of flirting and the elaborate tactics employed by Victorians to maintain their romantic endeavors within the confines of their time.

Ben Bullen humorously wraps up the discussion:

"I can't wait for you to join us, folks, in our ongoing exploration of flirting and flirting in the Victorian era." ([50:09])

Ridiculous History effectively highlights how even within the most restrictive societies, humans find creative ways to connect and express their deepest emotions.

Notable Quotes:

• Ben Bullen ([16:17]):
  "Victoria really was trying to impose some very rigid, traditional kind of family values... This was not a great time for women's rights in which is ironically brought on by a woman, the Queen."

• Noel Brett Brown ([24:23]):
  "The Victorian era is so romanticized because secret love is so much more sultry... there are a lot of pretty, you know, sultry novelizations of this era and the types of little trysts that some of these very mannered folks would have."

• Ben Bullen ([29:44]):
  "You have to be very careful, especially if you are a pressed member of the society at the time... it is so weird."

• Noel Brett Brown ([43:55]):
  "Flowers, whether seen singly or in complicated arrangements, communicated the incommunicable."

• Ben Bullen ([39:30]):
  "The placement of the stamp was a way to bypass the fact that you are hitting on someone who may already be part of a larger family."

Note: Advertisements and non-content segments have been excluded from this summary to focus solely on the episode's main discussions and insights.