Transcript

A (0:00)

Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartradio. Welcome back to the show, fellow ridiculous historians. Thank you as always, so much for tuning, tuning in. Let's hear it for one of the best super producers in the game, Mr. Max Williams.

B (0:37)

There he is, Mr. America.

A (0:43)

Boy, it's Max. That's the facts.

B (0:46)

That's right. That's a song. That's what it was.

A (0:49)

That's also Mr. Noel Brown. They call me Ben Bolin. We're here at the end of 2025. We're recording Precipice.

B (0:58)

Are we on the precipice of 2026?

A (1:01)

Yeah, we're recording on Thursday, December 18th. And at this time of the year, since we're referencing songs, this is a time for reflection. Looking back, play Counting Crows, Long December.

B (1:17)

I was gonna say there is reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last. It is a reflect. I didn't even put that together. It's absolutely a reflective song about the following year. Ben, you did this episode research and I think it' really helpful for this time of year, especially given conditions that maybe we can hearken back to a time that was unequivocally, measurably worse than the time we're currently living in. And also know, spoiler alert, that we survived it as a civilization.

A (1:48)

Hey, there we go, folks. Chin up, chest out. Thanks for joining us. It's the end of the year as we know it and we feel fine.

B (1:58)

Have you seen the most recent episode of Pluribus, Ben?

A (2:01)

I have not, actually.

B (2:02)

The cold open involves the main character, Carol, singing in her car as she's driving, trying to have a chin up attitude about the end of the world as it's portrayed in that show, more or less. And she gets to the. And I feel. And then it cuts off. And that's the cold opening. I just think it's such a clever Vince Gilligan little touch.

A (2:21)

I love that guy. I love Vince. So we'll probably meet him later on this show. We've noted this in more somber moments, Noel and Max, that the world is ending for someone somewhere at every second of every day. And it's also true to your earlier point, Noel, that throughout history, one group or another has inevitably claimed this year for real. This time, you guys. This year is the actual end of the world. It's the worst year ever. It's the fall of civilization, cats and dogs sleeping together, et cetera. We are happy to report, folks, to Noel's earlier point, that so far throughout human history, all of those apocalyptic doomsday predictions have been cartoonishly incorrect.

Summary

Ridiculous History – “Was 536 Really the Worst Year in History?”

Podcast: Ridiculous History
Episode Date: December 23, 2025
Hosts: Ben Bowlin & Noel Brown
Summary by: Podcast Summarizer AI

Episode Overview

Ben and Noel dig into a contender for "Worst Year in History": 536 CE. Framed with their usual mix of irreverence, pop culture references, and historical investigation, they unpack why historians consider 536 CE spectacularly grim—exploring strange darkness, climate disaster, economic collapse, and the centuries-long fallout. The episode blends historical sources, new scientific findings, and the hosts’ signature banter to reflect on why, in bleak times, looking back at survive-and-recover stories matters.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Ask About the Worst Year? [00:58–04:35]

The hosts reflect on annual lamentations that “this is the worst year ever”—a common reaction throughout human history (e.g., “the world is ending for someone somewhere at every second of every day”).
Ben: “Throughout history, one group or another has inevitably claimed, ‘this year—for real this time, you guys—is the actual end of the world. It’s the worst year ever… We are happy to report… all of those apocalyptic doomsday predictions have been cartoonishly incorrect.” [02:21]
Discuss doomsday cults and public panic, with references to pop culture (Counting Crows, REM, Vince Gilligan) and the recurring “End is Nigh!” sign-wielders.

2. What Makes a Year ‘The Worst’? [09:34–11:00]

The hosts note it’s easy to judge the present harshly, but ask listeners to zoom out: “We’re looking at it much more big picture. And I think a lot of the things that people are hung now are pretty big picture. And we’re not a political show... but there are certainly quite a large percentage of the population that are feeling a certain way about the right now.” [09:40] – Noel

3. Introducing 536 CE [11:00–16:36]

Ben lays out the context:
- 536 = DXXXVI (with the usual Ridiculous History Roman numeral jokes)
- Known (in some records) as “the year after the consulship of Belisarius”—a renowned Byzantine general “goated military cat” [13:36—Noel].
- Noted timeline events: Chinese Empress born, Japanese Emperor died, Pope Agapetus died—but these alone didn’t make it ‘the worst’ year.

4. When the Sky Went Dark [16:36–19:29]

The core misery: sudden, inexplicable darkness.
Citing historian Procopius: “The sun gave forth its light without brightness and it seemed exceedingly like the sun in eclipse, for the beams it shed were not clear.” [17:53—Ben, reading Procopius]
Summer temperatures plummeted worldwide, with snow falling in summer in China. “It created the coldest decade in the past 2,300 years. Crops were failing wide rife…” [18:48—Ben]

5. The Plague of Justinian [20:00, 23:20–24:36]

Following the climate disaster, a pandemic hit (541–542), dubbed the Plague of Justinian.
“Absolutely ripped through the Eastern Roman Empire and wiped out a third to half of the entire population of that region.” [23:43—Noel]
Society was so overwhelmed by chaos and death people interpreted the disasters as divine punishment.

6. Modern Explanations: Volcanoes and Dendrochronology [24:54–32:23]

It took centuries (and advances in science) to decipher the cause:
- “It would take centuries of later research to figure out what happened and how this global disaster came to be.” [24:54—Ben]
Medieval historian Michael McCormick and glaciologist Paul Mayewski (University of Maine) used ice cores to reconstruct events.
“Volcanoes... not just one. A combo move of multiple volcanic eruptions.” [27:14—Ben]
- Massive eruptions in Iceland (possibly), North America, and others created an ash veil that reflected sunlight.
- Plunged Europe into economic stagnation till ~640, tracked by spikes in airborne lead from revived silver mining [28:13–28:36].

How Volcanic Winters Work

“When a volcano erupts, it spews sulfur... way up into the atmosphere where they become aerosolized and form like a kind of bubble, a veil… that can reflect the sun’s light back out into space, cooling the planet. Which, you know, when you say cooling that sounds like relatively innocuous, but we’re talking extreme levels...” [28:36—Noel]
High-resolution analysis of ice cores (Swiss Alps, University of Bern) allowed climate and fallout tracking (weather, dust storms, lead pollution, etc.) with astonishing precision.

7. Recovery and Economic Resurgence [32:46–37:42]

The same ice core data tracks the return to stability:
- “The same ice that tells the story of disaster tells the story of humanity getting back on its feet.” [33:30—Ben]
Medieval/Roman historian Kyle Harper: “This also shows us the earliest stirrings of a new medieval economy.” [34:01—Ben speaking]
Archaeologist Christopher Loveluck: Lead peaks = economic rebound, rise of the merchant class as gold became scarce, and silver became currency [35:55–36:43].
Dialogue digresses with comparisons of Pepsi vs. Coke and the emergence of the “upper middle class.”

8. Lessons for the Present—and Modern Madcap Ideas [41:30–48:21]

Looking at climate intervention proposals, both wild and well-researched:
- 2020s “stratospheric aerosol injection” (SAI) is essentially mimicking volcanic winters: spraying sulfur into the sky to (maybe) cool earth—at massive, risky scale.
- “Basically, the proposal is to artificially create conditions similar to 536 CE.” [47:19—Ben]
Satirical take: “Is it time to roll the dice? Should we bring back 536?” [48:21—Ben]

9. Is 536 Hyperbolically ‘The Worst’? [42:21–44:11]

Admits “worst year ever” is always a bit hyperbolic and context-specific.
W.H. Auden poem referenced (about Icarus): Much of the world probably didn’t even notice; suffering is uneven and depends on perspective.

10. Resilience and Closing Thoughts [44:11–49:31]

“If you fast forward to this year being on the cusp of 2026, we are still sitting here in 2025. Humanity has persevered as we are wont to do...” [44:11—Noel]
Emphasizes survival and comeback stories: Japan post-WWII, post-536 economies.
Final cheeky wisdom: “Be the volcano you wish to see in the world.” [51:14—A]
Lighthearted banter about breakfast routines and capers wraps the episode.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

“It’s the end of the year as we know it and we feel fine.” [01:48—Ben]
“Throughout history, one group or another has inevitably claimed… this year is the actual end of the world. It’s the worst year ever… we are happy to report… all those apocalyptic doomsday predictions have been cartoonishly incorrect.” [02:21—Ben]
“Goated military cat, right? —I mean, seriously.” [13:57—Noel, on Belisarius]
“The sun gave forth its light without brightness and it seemed exceedingly like the sun in eclipse…” [17:53—Ben, quoting Procopius]
“Picture your ten favorite people. Five of them are gone. This is like… the Thanos snap.” [24:38—Ben]
“When a volcano erupts… they become aerosolized and form… a veil that can reflect the sun’s light back out into space, cooling the planet… but we’re talking extreme levels of cooling.” [28:36—Noel]
“There was nothing civilization could have done to prevent this. And if something like this happened today, there is little that modern civilization could do to stop it. We’re basically four volcanoes away from the end of the world.” [31:42—Ben]
“This also shows us the earliest stirrings of a new medieval economy.” [34:01—Ben speaking for Kyle Harper]
“Should we bring back 536? Talk about retro, right?” [48:29—Ben]
“Be the volcano you wish to see in the world.” [51:14—Ben & Noel]

Suggested Timestamps for Key Segments

[01:48] Reflection on “the worst year ever” trope & optimism
[11:00] Introduction of 536 CE as the historians’ “worst year”
[16:36] The sun darkens: “The year without sunlight”
[23:20] The Plague of Justinian devastates the Empire
[27:14] Modern scientific discoveries: Volcanoes and global climate catastrophe
[32:46] Tracking recovery and the silver economy
[41:30] Modern climate engineering: repeating history?
[44:11] Resilience and why comeback stories matter
[51:14] Parting philosophy—“Be the volcano…”

Tone & Style

Conversational, irreverent, loaded with historical insight and pop culture references, and deeply human in its curiosity and hope.
The hosts balance tragedy with humor, never letting the subject slide into hopelessness.

Takeaways

536 CE stands as a deeply convincing candidate for “worst year,” with catastrophic climate impacts, famine, and plague.
Science has only recently reconstructed WHY it was so bad—volcanoes and their climatic aftershocks.
Even after unimaginable hardship, recovery is possible—even if it’s slow, messy, and unevenly distributed.
Modern proposals to manipulate climate have eerie echoes of 536—reminding us technological fixes can be risky.
In dark times, it helps to remember history’s resilience—and to channel a little madcap hope: Be the volcano (for good) you wish to see in the world.

For more, listen to the full episode on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.