Podcast Summary

Right About Now – Legendary Business Advice

Episode: Why Asking for the Sale Is the Worst Move You Can Make | Paul Ross
Host: Ryan Alford (Radcast Network)
Guest: Paul Ross
Date: February 24, 2026

Overview

In this episode, host Ryan Alford sits down with Paul Ross, former founder of the global pickup and seduction community, now a subconscious sales trainer for elite teams. Ross flips traditional sales wisdom on its head, arguing that asking for the sale is the worst move you can make. Instead, he advocates for seeding the prospect's subconscious mind so they convince themselves to buy. The discussion dives deep into NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), the psychology of persuasion, and why helping prospects trust themselves is the real secret to closing deals.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Why "Asking for the Sale" Is Wrong

• Paul Ross never asks for the order; he teaches teams to avoid it too.
  • Instead, “seed the prospect's subconscious mind so they've already convinced themselves to buy. Rather than asking for the order, you're extending the opportunity for them to complete the decision they've already made in the subconscious level.” (Paul Ross, 00:00, 01:21)
• This approach is about inviting rather than asking, reframing the close as an extension, not a confrontation.

From Seduction to Sales: Unconventional Roots

• Paul’s backstory: He entered sales training from the world of seduction, after leveraging NLP to transform his own life.
  • “When I was a young man, I could not get a woman in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons… Then I stumbled on something called nlp Neuro linguistic programming… I began to become attractive to women… And then I started seeing my students using these techniques in sales.” (Paul Ross, 02:08-03:12)
• The big revelation: The emotional/psychological levers that work in attraction work just as effectively in sales.

Focus—The Core Currency of Influence

• “The currency of all influence, persuasion, seduction sales, is focus.” (Paul Ross, 03:50)
• With attention spans at "the approximate focus of a mosquito,” old-school rapport building is obsolete. Instead, you must:
  • Engineer focus and emotional states in your prospects, using language that gets past the conscious mind.
  • “Language structures consciousness, shapes decisions and most importantly drives behavior…you have to get past the conscious filters and into the subconscious.” (Paul Ross, 04:36)

Sales Is an Emotional, Subconscious Process

• Key insight: “We know that the most important decisions are made emotionally and emotional decisions are generated on the subconscious level.” (Paul Ross, 04:54) ‐ Sales mirrors dating: building rapport, qualifying, overcoming objections, seeking referrals/repeat business.

Breakthroughs for High-Performers

• The show targets top-20% performers who feel stuck at a plateau.
  • “If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten. You need to do something radically different that's outside of the box and a little bit crazy.” (Paul Ross, 06:31)
• Paul actively seeks unconventional thinkers—people open to “a nutty mindset.”

Language Patterns That Move the Needle

• Trust is multidimensional: It's not just trusting the seller, but getting the prospect to trust themselves.
• Paul’s framework for language:
  • Use implied relationship words to create closeness and shared experience:
    • e.g. “Before we begin our exploration together…” instead of “Today I’m going to show you…”
    • “Exploration” is a hypnotic word—it presumes a leader/follower dynamic. (Paul Ross, 08:25)
    • “Invite you to share any questions” instead of “ask you to share”—less confrontational, more collaborative.
• “In a matter of two or three minutes, we've created states of trust in themselves, compliance with you, a deep subconscious sense that you are on the same side.” (Paul Ross, 09:45)

Patterns, Fear, and the Child Within

• Everyone wants to be led, even the so-called authorities.
  • “Inside of every seeming adult is a 7 year old child who wants to be convinced.” (Paul Ross, 10:41)
• “We are pattern making machines.” Sales is about creating new patterns and guiding prospects toward seeing new possibilities.
• Central issue: “How do you get the prospect to trust themselves?” If they don’t, “they’re not going to make a decision.” (Paul Ross, 11:36)

Selling to the "Yes" Part of the Brain

• Yes-ladders are old hat; modern prospects see through them.
• Instead, get prospects to expand their sense of what’s possible:
  • “Most people don’t believe that better is possible for themselves…prospect not only doesn’t trust themselves, they often don’t believe they deserve to have what you have to offer, particularly if it's around money.” (Paul Ross, 11:58)
• Use suggestion and implication, not direct statements:
  • “As we’re having this conversation together, I’m not sure all the ways you might feel an expanding sense of possibility…” (Paul Ross, 14:35)
  • The longer the conversation lasts, the more interest builds (a paradoxical “forward loop”).

Realistic Expectations: This Is Hard Work

• Paul admits: “What I teach is powerful, but it takes a lot of work. It’s like learning a second language.” (Paul Ross, 15:36) ‐ Mastery isn’t quick—requires ongoing practice and openness to strange new approaches.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On not asking for the order:

  • “I never asked for the order…Rather than asking for the order, you're extending the opportunity for them to complete the decision they've already made in the subconscious level.” (Paul Ross, 00:00, 01:21)

• On transferable skills from seduction to sales:

  • “If you take nothing away other than this…The currency of all influence, persuasion, seduction, sales, is focus.” (Paul Ross, 03:50)

• On leading and language:

  • “Before we begin our exploration together… 'Exploration' is a very, very subtly hypnotic word.” (Paul Ross, 08:25)
  • “Invite you to… is much more effective than 'ask you to.'” (Paul Ross, 09:15)

• On prospects needing to trust themselves:

  • “It's not just that a confused mind makes no choices. A mind that doesn't trust itself runs from choices.” (Paul Ross, 11:44)

• On expanding possibilities:

  • “You can’t do that consciously…You have to imply it. You have to use the power of suggestion, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.” (Paul Ross, 14:21)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00-01:21 — Paul on why he never asks for the sale; subconscious seeding
• 02:08-03:12 — Paul’s journey from seduction community to sales trainer
• 03:17-05:42 — Focus as the core currency of influence and its role in sales
• 08:25-10:17 — Exact language patterns and why implied relationship words work
• 11:36-11:48 — Why getting prospects to trust themselves is the secret sauce
• 11:58-14:00 — Selling to the “yes” part of the brain; expanding the prospect’s unconscious possibilities
• 14:05-15:53 — Practical application: using suggestion to create an “expanding sense of possibility”
• 15:53-17:08 — Resources from Paul for high-performing listeners

Takeaways & Actionable Insights

• Sales isn’t about pressure. Instead, it’s about suggestion, subconscious influence, and making prospects feel they’re completing their decision themselves.
• Modern buyers have seen every traditional tactic. To break through, you must be unconventional, subtle, and skilled at suggestion.
• Language and trust are your main tools. Building the prospect’s self-trust is as important as building their trust in you.
• Mastery requires ongoing practice. This isn’t a “sales hack”—it’s a deeper discipline, akin to learning a new language.
• High performers will get the biggest gains. If you’re already at the top, these methods could help you break your personal sales ceiling.

Further Resources

• Paul Ross’ Free Resources for Listeners:
  • The “Subconscious Selling Domination System”
  • The “Instant Trust Quick Start Training” and “Subconscious Selling Conversion Vault”
  • Access: www.sellwithsuggestion.com/rightaboutnow (15:57)

For listeners looking to ditch old-school sales tricks and fundamentally up their persuasion game, this episode is a masterclass in subconscious selling—provided you’re willing to put in the work.