← RKD Group: Thinkers
RKD Group: Thinkers
Destigmatizing homelessness and rebuilding support systems in 20 years of mission work
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- [00:00]
Jamie Buxton
And I was just kind of a mess and sweating and not at my best. And I was like, I don't know how you do it. Because her kids looked like perfect little ducks right in a row. And I said, I don't know how you do it, and I'm having a day. And she was like, I do it because I want to be like you. And, gosh, I didn't expect to get emotional retelling that story. My heart really is kind of destigmatizing what homelessness looks like and kind of educating people on, you know, the humanity of. Of the people that we serve.
- [00:41]
Nipa Eason
Welcome to the RKD Group Chat podcast, where we bring you behind the scenes of nonprofit life. We shed light on the compassion and purpose behind the individuals solving the world's most challenging problems. Hi, I'm your host, Nipa Eason. Today we're chatting with Jamie Buxton from the City Mission in Cleveland, Ohio. She has managed thousands of volunteers and dozens of interns over the years while also advocating for men, women, and children experiencing homelessness. Before that, she spent some time in Belize doing mission work. Jamie has so much compassion and heart for the work she's doing, and her openness and vulnerability in this conversation is beautiful and relatable. Let's chat. Hi, Jamie. It is so nice to see you, and I'm so glad for this opportunity and excited to be able to talk to you about your work. And, you know, like, one of the things that has stood out to me in reading about your career and the things that you've been doing is it seems like this has been a calling, a dedication that you've had your entire life. Do you want to speak to that a little bit? Just like it sounds like you've been doing this since you were, you know, pre college, pre, like, pre the time that people even know what they're doing.
- [01:55]
Jamie Buxton
Well, I'm glad it sounds like that on paper or, you know, on the website. But I would say God has been working in my life from an early age, and I've just done each kind of step that he's asked me to do. I don't know that I ever would have dreamed of kind of the role that I'm in right now. But I'll be honest that it is my dream position, and I feel like I'm getting to do things that I'm good at and also hard things. You know, I wanna be really clear that dream positions don't mean you do only, you know, sunshine and jelly bean kinds of tasks. Right. But I am Given the autonomy to make decisions about things I'm passionate about, but have an equal amount of accountability with amazing people who know how to sharpen me and. And also pull me back a little bit when I need a little reining in. And so, yeah, where I'm at right now, I'm incredibly grateful for the role that I'm in. Yeah.
- [02:58]
Nipa Eason
Yeah. Do you want to speak to what kind of led you to make the decision to even move in this direction? Because it sounds like you did, you know, you did your mission in Belize and you moved on from there. What even led to that actually happening?
- [03:17]
Jamie Buxton
You mean Belize? And yeah. So, yeah, I studied youth ministry in college mostly because I loved my youth pastor in high school and thought, you know, this is where I want to be. I want to be making a difference in the lives of people. And quite honestly, a non Christian friend, her mom at a sleepover was like, maybe you should be a youth pastor. And I was like, you think? And so I went and studied in. Studied youth ministry and missions in college. But I remember really, really vividly as I started ending that college career thinking, this was great, but I really am not sure that I wanna work in a church, which, you know, I'm an only child. My parents did not love that realization that, you know, after all that money spent and all that time spent, but it wasn't in vain. I loved that part of my education. So I actually had a January term back in the day where I spent a month in Belize and fell in love with the country and the people and really felt like, hey, I'm not really sure what I want to do next in life, but I feel really called to help people. And actually, at that time, if I'm being honest, Neepa, I think I was really struggling between there and some inner city work in Chicago. And I had all but kind of signed a contract with an organization in Chicago. And I remember feeling really conflicted and thinking, why isn't God just making this so obvious where I'm supposed to go next? And I talked with some really awesome believers who kind of poured into me. And I remember really speaking to a gentleman who said, you, you know, sometimes God just gives us a choice, Jamie. Like, I don't think it has to be, you know, this writing on the wall that defines this way is the only way you can go. And so, you know, I made a choice and the choice was Belize. And I loved my time there. Ironically, once I got there and started doing things, I loved what I was doing, but I kept knowing there was Something more. When I left there, I really thought that that was gonna be nursing school. Cause I had kind of fallen in love with, like, helping people physically.
- [05:36]
Nipa Eason
Yeah, it's the same kind of, like, psychological. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
- [05:40]
Jamie Buxton
So I really thought, okay, I'm going to go home and I'm going to go start nursing school. But I needed a job to kind of sustain myself. Of course. And so as I was leaving Belize, it had become just a period of some social unrest while I was there, and it was becoming unsafe. And I think I already said I was an only child. So my parents brought like, you're coming home. Yeah.
- [06:03]
Nipa Eason
That's a scary thing to have your. Your child, your daughter out there.
- [06:06]
Jamie Buxton
Yeah, yeah. It was more scary for them, for sure. But I get it now, now that I'm a mom, but. So I went to an Internet cafe to email all of my friends and aol, instant message my friends.
- [06:17]
Nipa Eason
Oh, I love this. That takes me back.
- [06:20]
Jamie Buxton
I know, right? Yeah. Prepare the parties. I'm coming home. And so I. Awaiting for me in my inbox was an email from a friend from college who said, hey, I work at this amazing place called Laura's Home. It's part of the City Mission. And I don't know why. I just think you're the person who's gonna fill my job. She really had no business saying that. Right. Cause, you know, she. She was leaving and moving across the country, and I was like, okay. And so I, you know, I came home, kind of settled in. I think I. I if interviewed that Wednesday. I think I flew home on a Saturday. I interviewed on the Wednesday, and I've been working at the City Mission ever since. So I've spent a lot more formative years, early 20s, and I'm not in my 20s anymore. I've spent the last 20 years working at the City Mission and kind of all different positions, but just so grateful for the opportunity to serve in a ministry that I'm passionate about, but also that they let me grow up and kind of figure out what I was doing, too. I know that wasn't the purpose in hiring me, but there's been so much grace and kind of, as I've shown my strengths, different opportunities became available. And so that's been really, really, really special to me. I know that some of them will watch this, but I say it all the time, behind my CEOs and my boss's back, that I'd probably work for free just because I was given so much opportunity to grow up and kind of find who I was Made to be in the context of this ministry. And in that time, I got engaged and married, started having my own family and nepa. All four of my boys grew up coming to work with me at Laura's. That's beautiful. Yeah. So there were days that I was holding my own baby, talking to kids about Jesus while ministering to their moms, and I just was like, maybe not in that moment, but now that I'm looking back on it, I'm like, I couldn't have even known to ask for that kind of gift that, that I could be a full time parent. But also working in, in a ministry that I care deeply about, it just doesn't get any better than that.
- [08:37]
Nipa Eason
So that's amazing. And it's, it's such a hard thing to find that kind of role, that kind of place, that kind of culture that you can grow into like that for so long. That's beautiful. I wanted to ask you what currently is kind of the typical day that you're having at the city mission, because it feels like you moved into a lot of different roles and now it seems like you're more in, I would almost, it seems a little bit more like a community building role.
- [09:08]
Jamie Buxton
Right.
- [09:08]
Nipa Eason
And that's such a big part of so many of our nonprofits that they want to be able to build these communities. And how would you, how would you describe your typical day in that kind of context?
- [09:20]
Jamie Buxton
Yeah, yeah, there is no typical day. That's the first way I describe it. I, I, I would have thought even 10, even five years ago that that would drive me crazy. I really like having a checklist and being able to mark things off of a list and say, this is what I've accomplished and, you know, and timeframes and that is so not the way my role, you know, generally works at this point. But yeah, I was asked to step into community engagement in 2020, which was a very unique time to be asked to build a new role for the mission, because no one wanted to have community with me in 2020 and really not in 2021 and some of 2022 either. Really, you know, it took a, I feel like it took a long time to really settle in and figure out what really were the mission's expectations of this role and then what are realistic expectations, you know, so while it, you know, still takes shape a lot, I am the liaison to our church and corporate partners now. I've got a partner in crime now who helps with the corporations. Because this role has gotten bigger, which is, you know, what it's supposed to do. Right. But I couldn't have imagined that in 2020 when no one wanted to. To talk to me, let alone meet with me or invite me to their place of work. Right. But so it's my privilege to get to be an advocate for the men, women, and children that we serve, especially into the church context. And then going into corporations, doing things like lunch and learns and talking about what we do. My heart really is kind of destigmatizing what homelessness looks like and kind of educating people on, you know, the humanity of the people that we serve, because I think it can feel like, oh, well, that will never touch me. And so I really don't need to worry about that. And if I know anything about 20 years in ministry at the City Mission is that the world is a very small place and there is always a link to someone that, you know, that's in crisis and that's gone through homelessness or is struggling. And so, yeah, that's. That's the kind of the gist of my role now. I am part of the development team, which means, you know, I also lead our efforts for our big fundraising events. So we have a gala and a run, and I get to lead those efforts. And then we also have a giving circle for women. That was something that was added to my role just in this last year and has really added so much joy. So we have about 80 women, 75 women, I don't want to embellish, about 75 women who give 1,000 plus dollars to the mission annually. But we engage them in their own kind of way, created opportunities for volunteerism and getting kind of bird's eye view of what we're doing, some special activities. In fact, I'll be with some of our ladies tonight as we're wrapping Christmas presents. But they get to choose then how their money is spent. So, you know, that's about $80,000 now. And so that's significant. So that's really special. So that's become really a great source of joy in this role as well, is getting to interact. And, you know, really, I think what it is for me is taking those women even deeper into what we're doing and getting, you know, allowing them to understand us on a level that not just a normal donor might not choose to go kind of this deep. So. Yeah, right.
- [13:05]
Nipa Eason
Oh, that. That's. That's amazing. I wanted to go back to what you mentioned a little bit about destigmatizing homelessness and, you know, kind of drawing that attention to the fact that it May not touch us directly, but we may have a direct link to something that's related to it. I mean, the work you do, it can be really hard every day seeing this kind of just how the world is kind of moving in this direction right now. What motivates you right now? How do you kind of balance that? And what motivates you to keep coming to work every day and doing the hard things that you do?
- [13:48]
Jamie Buxton
Goodness, that's a really amazing question. I think so many things motivate me. There's several stories, several women, and they're not even that recent of stories. But I will never forget. And this really was one of those moments in life, and especially in my career that really defines the kind of woman who kind of person I want to be. And so, as I said, I was able to take my kids to work with me. I remember rushing into work one day to clock in. I was still. I was working in childcare, so it was in the first 10 years, and I had at least two kids in tow and bags and lunches. And I just remember being flustered and late and trying to, like, fight with the time clock. And down the elevator opened behind me, and a mom whose kids were in my classroom, she kind of came out, and they just kind of were in ducks in a row. And I think she had about. I think she had four or five children. And she came out and I was just kind of a mess and sweating and not at my best. And I was like, I don't know how you do it. Because her kids looked like perfect little ducks right in a row. And I said, I don't know how you do it. And I'm having a day. And she was like, I do it because I want to be like you. And gosh, I don't. I didn't expect to get emotional retelling. Oh, no, that's.
- [15:06]
Nipa Eason
So I'm getting emotional. That's such a nice thing to hear, right? In a moment like that.
- [15:10]
Jamie Buxton
It was such a moment. And I was like, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. Even when I'm a sweaty mess and I'm doing all the things wrong. It just really opened my eyes to, you never know who's watching you. And while my role is no longer direct resident facing, I don't have every day. I'm not rubbing shoulders with the people that we're serving. That's not where I'm at anymore. And some days I really, really miss that. But that still inspires me is you never know who you're watching and who's learning from you. And so I want to advocate and be a voice for the men, the women, and the children that we serve to a community that may not know that they need to understand it. And to create empathy in spaces people are probably unaware of is really what drives me every day when I see a light click on for someone or I have the opportunity to. I lead kind of our efforts in teaching bridges out of poverty and our. And at the mission, but we open that up. And when I have that opportunity to teach that material and I see someone like the lights come on or they have that aha moment or even how they say, I'm going to do this differently in whatever, you know, capacity, that is what motivates me. I want people to understand that crisis does not discriminate. And while homelessness may feel really far from even where I'm at today, crisis and hurt and pain can happen to anyone. And that is really all that we're doing at the mission as we are serving people who are going through what I described to kids as a really big problem that we can't solve on our own. Right. And we talk about that. Yeah. And that is what motivates me. That's what drives me. That's what drives me to drag my kids still along with me when I can, to give them just this continued understanding of not everyone has the same resources, but we're all created in the same image of the same God. And that's really important to me.
- [17:28]
Nipa Eason
That's amazing. Thank you for sharing all of that and that story, too. I really appreciate that you've. You know, that's. You've mentioned so many programs and things that have carried a lot of meaning for you. What would you say is one of the most meaningful programs that you've worked with at the mission?
- [17:47]
Jamie Buxton
Oh, goodness. Well, I think I just alluded to it, and I'll probably stick in that same. In that same area is Bridges out of poverty has been something that the mission, you know, we've read the book. We've done small groups. It's been kind of a part of our culture for a long time. And again in 2020, for whatever reason, before COVID hit, we had the opportunity, three of us, to get trained in bridges out of poverty. And while those people are no longer at the mission, it's been something that we have stayed, you know, this is important for our staff to know, for our volunteers to interact with. I love the teaching and kind of the mantras of Bridges out of Poverty. I add A lot of Jesus to it and probably a little too much Jamie to it. But that is one of my favorite things, is when you have, you know, two plus hours with individuals who are seeking to better understand and to kind of go through that material. And we only do the lens of the individual lens, where it's, how is it that I interact with people from different socioeconomic classes than myself and how does that make us feel? And that, to me, is probably still the most meaningful thing, mostly because we have the opportunity to see, like I said, people like, it clicks for people. But as far as things we do internally, you know, we're recording this in December. So I will be honest, this week is nuts for me because I am still the mastermind behind Christmas and have been for probably 18 of the years that I've worked at the mission. And so, yeah, one of the most powerful things that we do, and we learned it through reading When Helping Hurts from Chalmers. Right. Is. And we haven't always done Christmas this way. And I'll be honest, when our CEO asked me to change it several years ago, she said, you know, Jamie, I know you are doing a lot of hard work and you're organizing gifts and you're making sure kids are getting, you know, a learning toy and a craft toy and fun toys. She's like, but we want to give, you know, the dignity back to the moms. And so for years, we've been doing that. Our moms, last week, as we prepare to go into our Christmas fair, each pay 25 cents a ticket, and they're able to buy up to five tickets for each of their kiddos. So actually, today and yesterday, our families were shopping and our moms are shopping. And then, like I said, tonight I will be there with people to help wrap all those gifts. And then they're put away in storage until Christmas Eve when other volunteers will come and distribute those gifts outside of doors. And like, Santa came. But I remember saying, I don't want to do it that way. I love getting to organize the Christmas gifts, and I love getting to meet all the donors. And I love. And I had to stop myself. It really was one of those things where I was like, yeah, I did just say I. And what I do a whole lot right here. And that was really convicting. And it is amazing to watch the moms. And every year when we describe, okay, we're going to have you pay these 25 cents, I remember thinking the first time, I'm like, they're going to throw stuff at us. They're going to be so angry, and it just was the total opposite. It was like, you get it. You see me, and I get it now, too. You know, I'm a mom, and it's like, I'm the mom. I want to provide. And not only just provide just like the charity that you give me, but I want to choose that special gift that I know my kiddo wants. Yeah. And so, um, that for me and. And then bringing other people into that and. And teaching. I have a whole new staff in our volunteer department right. Right now. And this was their first Christmas working with us. I mean, it's been a whole first year of first for them. But bringing people into that and helping them see and how we can care and we can add dignity and more respect for the individuals that we serve. There's nothing more exciting to me than that. And I do look forward to the critique and how we can make this better each year and other things, too. I'm never opposed to conversations, even though it makes for harder work to say, how can we be more empathetic in how we're sharing this story? How can we put ourselves in check and take the us as the saviors out of it and give dignity to the well, to God, but also to the programs and the processes that our residents are going to go through and work through themselves, not what we're doing for them. Right.
- [22:42]
Nipa Eason
Yeah. The Christmas program you're talking about, it sounds magical. I'm sure those moms appreciate it so much, being able to actually choose, like you said, choose the toys and choose what they're getting to do and have.
- [22:56]
Jamie Buxton
An investment in it.
- [22:57]
Nipa Eason
Like they. They have some ownership of that, which is incredible. What do you. You know, you've talked about, like, destigmatizing and. And talking through common misconceptions about homelessness. What's. What do you think is the most common misconception that you have to combat when you talk to people that aren't. Aren't fully connecting with it when you see that light switch turn on?
- [23:20]
Jamie Buxton
Yeah. I think so many things. People think that individuals experiencing homelessness are lazy or that they're all addicted to something or it's all domestic violence or it. I think this one, again, I mean, we've already talked about that. This is Christmas time. A big one for me is that, oh, those poor homeless people, they have no one that cares about them, you know. Now, I will be honest that the. The question I get asked the most in my career is what is the one thread that you see kind of in every story and that's hard because, yeah, the stories are so expansive and so different. And, you know, what people experience are unfathomable most, to me, but broken support systems. Right. That is the one inner, you know, thing they all kind of have in common is broken support systems. But when I say that, I don't mean that they don't have family or friends or people that love them. They may not be the healthiest of relationships. Or when you're talking about generational poverty and you're talking about, you know, you have people who love you, they just can't help you financially. Right. Like, so, you know, everyone thinks I'm going to go on Christmas Day and just be there for those poor homeless people. Well, a lot of our residents are gonna have passes, and they're gonna go be with people that they care about. Now, again, they may not always be. This is a time we really pray to make sure, you know, that, you know, our families don't slink back into old habits or hard things happen when they're on these passes. But I think, you know, that they do have people who love them and they desire to have an intact support system. People who can be role models and be accountability partners for them. That's what we really need more of. So when I'm in the churches talking about what we're doing, you know, I want to equip churches not just to, you know, have good programs. We want to equip churches to be prepared to do just that. Invite these men and these women and these children and into their small groups, into their homes, into, you know, their normal, regular lives, and be a part of a support system that we're starting at the mission. But we hope that they can replicate and gain more of those people who kind of have their back as they leave us. So that's. Yeah.
- [25:55]
Nipa Eason
And having that kind of, like, safe but welcoming environment is so, so important. How do you all kind of work to create that? Because that's. That's. I feel like missions in general need to have that kind of safety, that kind of welcoming warmth for people to feel comfortable coming to you for help.
- [26:20]
Jamie Buxton
Yeah. So I think we do that in lots of different ways. You know, I talked about, you know, trying to create kind of streams for when our ladies are leaving in different churches that they might go to. It's not even for me about the church as much as just kind of, hopefully we're impacting the culture of people being more understanding and more empathetic to others. But of course, we have, you know, a volunteer Onboarding process that makes sure we're inviting people in who are going to be a positive influence for our residents. Now, that doesn't mean they all have to be Christians, and we all think exactly the same, but we do let people know who we are and that we want you to, you know, be understanding of that and kind of. Well, don't proselytize against or, you know, kind of dumb down or say anything negative possibly about, you know, what we're saying. We want their time there to be encouraging. But in the same way, we don't have just robots. We want people who are willing to have actual relationships, positive, healthy relationships with our residents as they're coming in to volunteer. You know, I get people all the time. Well, I'm a. I'm a. I'm a man. Am I allowed to go to Laura's home where you serve women? Absolutely. If you're going to treat women with respect and kindness, yes. We want you there. Absolutely. You know, married couples. Can we do this? Yes. It's so good for our residents to see healthy relationships. And so, yeah, I think that's a big part of. I don't think it. I know it. That is a big part of who we are and making sure that we're equipping volunteers to kind of replicate the work that we know that as staff, there's just not enough of us. There could never be enough of us or enough money to do all the things we want to do. So we lean heavily on those volunteers. But I recently heard about an awesome collaboration that we have. The name of the group escapes me, but they actually are just received grant money where they come in and they are discipling our ladies, but also teaching our ladies how to be. How to disciple their children and how to be a Christian mom. And then they're actually walking alongside our ladies as they exit, as they graduate from our program and helping them find churches and get them into small groups and get them into programs that are going to be close to where they're living. And I was like, this is exactly what we need, you know, because, yeah, the support system, there's only so much we can do. So partners like that, like, that is incredibly valuable. And so, yeah, we just hope that when we have conversations that are real like this one, that people will hear that and say, well, I can be part of that. Like, this is something I can do. You know, when I heard about this woman, I said, I recently went through a personal church transition. Where were you? Could they just help the ladies understand the different churches and what they believe and how they might fit in. And I was like, this is awesome. Everybody should have this resource.
- [29:32]
Nipa Eason
Yeah. Just finding that place of belonging, it's so important, and it can be so hard. And that's an amazing thing that they're doing. Thank you so much, Jamie, for talking to me today. And I think I like, yeah, you just gave me so much to think about. And just you're so inspiring. And the work you're doing is. Is. It's magical and amazing. And I wish you the best of luck with the Christmas market and wrapping gifts tonight. And I think that's going to be a beautiful Christmas.
- [30:02]
Jamie Buxton
Gifts.
- [30:03]
Nipa Eason
Just a thousand gifts.
- [30:04]
Jamie Buxton
That's not too bad.
- [30:05]
Nipa Eason
But you have so many women coming to help you, which is, you know, again, it. That support system is key, and I think that's a beautiful thing.
- [30:13]
Jamie Buxton
Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. It's been a real pleasure.
- [30:18]
Nipa Eason
That was such an amazing conversation. And here are three takeaways I got from our chat with Jamie that I would take back to my nonprofit or to even my own personal relationships and in my own life. One, sometimes opportunities cross your path, and it's not always clear which direction to pursue. You have a choice to make, and there's no right or wrong answer, and you just kind of have to do what feels right in that moment. Two, broken support systems are often a commonality when we are talking about homelessness. Creating a safe space, providing compassion, empathy, and support to those experiencing homelessness is so, so important. And three, we might all be sweaty messes sometimes, but there are always people around us who will make us feel seen and understood. And, you know, we never know who's watching and learning from us, even on those really hard days. So do you want to chat with us? Email us@connectkdgroup.com I hope I hear back from you, and either way, I'll chat with you next month.