Roadmap to Referrals: Episode #361 - “Why won’t my team members just do it…” (The Scenario Series)
Release Date: May 13, 2025
Host: Stacey Brown Randall

Introduction

In Episode #361 of the Roadmap to Referrals podcast, host Stacey Brown Randall delves into a common yet challenging scenario faced by business leaders: getting team members to actively seek referrals. This episode is part of her ongoing Scenario Series, where she unpacks real-world situations to provide actionable strategies for generating referrals naturally and effectively.

The Scenario: Team Resistance to Asking for Referrals

Stacey begins by presenting the central dilemma: a manager instructs their team to ask for referrals, provides them with scripts, yet the team remains unresponsive. This scenario is versatile, applicable to various industries such as law firms, consulting firms, and sales teams. The persistent question is, despite clear instructions and resources, why aren't team members asking for referrals?

Understanding the Root Causes of Resistance

Stacey identifies several key reasons why team members resist asking for referrals:

1. Discomfort and Awkwardness ([04:30])
   “It's uncomfortable and it's awkward. Even if your people can't tell you exactly why it's uncomfortable and it's awkward, that's the feeling that they get inside.”
   The act of requesting referrals often feels forced and unnatural, creating an uneasy dynamic between the team member and the client.

2. Previous Negative Experiences ([10:15])
   “If they've ever done it before, they know that asking rarely leads to a real lead... sometimes they get like half names and half contact information.”
   Past attempts at soliciting referrals may have resulted in low-quality leads or unfulfilled promises, discouraging future efforts.

3. The Endless Trigger ([18:40])
   “Once they start asking, they have to continue asking repeatedly.”
   The necessity to ask for referrals continually can become exhausting, as it requires ongoing effort without guaranteed returns.

4. Burning Relationship Capital ([24:50])
   “When you go back to the same person to ask them for the sixth time... you're burning up your relationship capital.”
   Repeatedly asking for referrals can strain relationships, making clients feel pressured rather than valued.

The Science of Referrals

Stacey emphasizes that traditional methods of asking for referrals often violate the science of referrals. She explains that genuine referrals occur when a client voluntarily connects someone who genuinely needs your services to your business. Directly asking for referrals forces clients into an uncomfortable position, leading to insincere or low-quality referrals.

“You're artificially creating something that does not exist, and you're putting that person on the spot.” ([15:25])

A Better Way: Planting Referral Seeds

Instead of direct solicitation, Stacey advocates for planting referral seeds and nurturing relationships. This approach involves:

• Developing Authentic Relationships: Focus on building trust and demonstrating genuine care for clients’ needs without the immediate expectation of a referral.

• Changing the Language: Shift the conversation from asking for referrals to planting the idea of referrals organically. For example, instead of saying, “Can you refer me to someone,” you might say, “If you know anyone who could benefit from our services, we’d love to help them.”

• Nurturing Relationships: Engage with clients consistently and authentically, ensuring that referrals stem naturally from strong, trust-based relationships rather than transactional interactions.

“Teach your team how to develop the right relationships, how to nurture those relationships, and in the process, how to plant referral seeds.” ([38:10])

Implementing the Strategy

Stacey advises that transforming the referral process requires a shift in mindset and communication strategies:

• Educate Your Team: Train team members to understand the science behind referrals and the importance of authentic relationship-building.

• Provide the Right Tools and Language: Equip your team with alternative phrases and techniques that facilitate natural referral opportunities without imposing pressure.

• Focus on Helping Others First: Encourage a service-oriented approach where the primary goal is to assist clients, making referrals a natural extension of that assistance.

“Everything about asking for referrals directly is wrong. If it were right, everybody would be doing it and everybody would be referring each other.” ([33:50])

Notable Quotes

• “Don't ask someone to do something that you aren't willing to do yourself repeatedly.” – Stacey Brown Randall ([02:45])

• “You're artificially creating something that does not exist, and you're putting that person on the spot.” – Stacey Brown Randall ([15:25])

• “Teach your team how to develop the right relationships, how to nurture those relationships, and in the process, how to plant referral seeds.” – Stacey Brown Randall ([38:10])

Conclusion

In this episode, Stacey Brown Randall provides deep insights into why traditional methods of soliciting referrals often fail and offers a transformative approach centered on authentic relationship-building and strategic communication. By shifting from direct asking to planting referral seeds, businesses can foster a natural and sustainable flow of referrals without compromising their relationships or team morale.

For listeners seeking to implement these strategies, Stacey invites them to explore her coaching programs, such as Building a Referable Business™, for a more comprehensive roadmap to generating referrals effortlessly.

To explore more episodes like this or to access additional resources mentioned in this episode, visit staceybrownrandall.com/360.

Thank you for tuning in to the Roadmap to Referrals podcast. Stay tuned for more actionable insights next week!