Join host Steve Perkins and Greenhouse Team members Sundie Marquardt and Gabe Smith for a raw, relatable dive into active listening on the Roots Up Podcast. With humor, heart, and practical wisdom, this episode explores how to listen without pushing your own agenda. This applies to parenting adult kids, interacting with colleagues, our relationships, and so much more. Expect actionable takeaways to grow as a leader and human, rooted in Greenhouse’s mission to help you grow the life you want.

Key Discussion Points:

How active listening sets aside agendas to fully hear others, fostering deeper connections.
Why unsolicited advice to adult children often backfires, and listening respects their autonomy.
How body language and curiosity signal genuine presence, while zoning out creates disconnect.
Why balancing your need to be understood with others’ need to be heard requires intentional deference.
How acting like a listener, like pinching your leg to stay quiet, can shift underlying beliefs.
How society’s obsession with efficiency prioritizes problem-solving over relational connection.
Why prioritizing relationships motivates empathetic leadership, even in tough moments.

Action Items for Listeners:

Practice Silence: In your next conversation, pinch your leg or pause to resist interjecting; ask, “How can I help?” to stay listener-focused.
Use Mirroring: Reflect back what you hear with, “What I’m hearing is… Did I get that right?” to ensure others feel understood.
Check Assumptions: Before advising, ask yourself, “Am I assuming I know their path?” Let their perspective lead.
Team Listening Exercise: Start a meeting with, “How are we showing up today?” to practice collective listening and build trust.

Resources Mentioned:

⁠Grow the life you want with Greenhouse Coaching⁠
Parenting Coach: Kim Muench (⁠Becoming Me While Raising You: A Mother's Journey to Her Self⁠)

Episode Quotes:

“Listening actively with no intent—letting go of your agenda—is hard but changes everything.” – Sundie

“People aren’t problems to be solved; they’re humans to be seen.” – Gabe

“Sometimes behavior shifts before beliefs, and that’s okay—it’s how growth happens.” – Sundie

Timestamps:

(0:00) Intro (1:53) Cursing Stories (6:58) The Challenge of Active Listening (8:42) Listening as a Learned Skill (10:06) Body Language and Curiosity (12:33) Navigating Competing Needs (15:51) Parenting Perspectives (17:35) Growth Moments in Listening (21:15) Applying Listening to Leadership (24:29) Behavior vs. Beliefs (27:20) Motivations for Deep Listening

Connect with Greenhouse:

Subscribe on Spotify/Apple/YouTube or your favorite platform.
⁠Take the RootsUp Quiz to find your next steps⁠.
⁠Explore Free Resources from Greenhouse Coaching⁠.
Share your listening journey with #RootsUpPodcast.

Take Sundie’s challenge: In your next conversation, pause and ask, “How can I help?” instead of advising. Try mirroring with, “What I’m hearing is…” to make someone feel seen.

#252 - Active Listening, Parenting Adult Kids, and Empathetic Leadership

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