Rotary Voices – "You've Got A Friend" (December 3, 2025)

Episode Overview

This episode of Rotary Voices centers on the profound importance of friendship, particularly in adulthood, and how community organizations like Rotary clubs can help individuals forge deep new bonds. Through poignant personal stories and expert insights, the episode explores the rising "friendship recession," the health impacts of loneliness, and the global efforts—including grassroots community projects—to reignite genuine human connection.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Rediscovering Friendship in Adulthood

• Phil Clark’s Journey

  • In his early 70s, Phil Clark realized the challenge of making new friends, compared to his youth surrounded by ten siblings.
  • Feeling isolated, he reflected humorously:

    "...reversing that trend would have the ancillary benefit of increasing the turnout at his funeral." (01:13)

  • Clark researched social groups, landing on Rotary as the ideal place for connection, intellectual stimulation, and action.

• Clark’s Community Impact

  • Since joining the Rotary Club of Highlands Ranch near Denver, Clark:
    • Helped raise $500,000 for a pediatric mental health fellowship.
    • Started a film club at a library.
    • Formed a musical duo ('The Elderly Brothers') performing in nursing homes.
    • Reflects on deepening relationships:

      “I’m taking gradual steps to really get to know people on a deeper level...and I think it’s working pretty well.” (01:55)

2. The Science and State of Adult Friendship

• Importance of Friendship
  • Scientific research links strong friendships to better mental and physical health, sometimes more influential than family bonds. (02:39)
  • The "friendship recession":
    • In 1990, 33% of Americans had 10+ close friends; by 2021, only 13% did, while those with none rose from 3% to 12% (Gallup & Survey Center on American Life).

      “Things seem to be moving in the wrong direction. In what’s been dubbed a friendship recession...” (02:39)

3. Rotary Friendships in Practice

• Chris Cameron & Cindy Volan
  • Cameron (a retired teacher in Wenatchee, WA) joined Rotary to maintain an active social life post-retirement.
  • Volan sought meaningful local service and attended Rotary, where she met Cameron.
  • They bonded unexpectedly over their love for backyard chickens and environmental advocacy.

    “They’re like our kids, our grandkids.” – Chris Cameron (04:36)

  • Friendship quickly deepened, with mutual support extending to pet care and constant communication.

    “I’m a bit of a loner...So to find a good friend like Cindy...has been such a gift.” – Chris Cameron (05:54) “I’m always slightly guarded with people, but I’m never that way with Chris, and it was that way immediately.” – Cindy Volan (06:05)

4. The Social and Emotional Cost of Loneliness

• Expert Insights

  • U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has called loneliness an “epidemic” (pre- and post-pandemic).
  • Trends responsible: shrinking family sizes, decline in group participation, and technology replacing in-person interaction.
  • Loneliness raises the risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia, anxiety, depression, and premature death. (06:50-07:46)

• Therapeutic Perspectives

  • Megan Bruno, therapist/author, notes:

    "Loneliness makes us feel uncomfortable...meant to motivate us to seek out other humans for relief." (07:46)

    • Identifies social prescribing (joining hobby groups, volunteering) as an effective strategy.

5. Rotary Clubs as Friendship Prescriptions

• According to Rotary’s 2022 member survey, friendship is the second most common reason people join (after community service), and the top reason those 60+ stay involved.
• Phil Clark encourages others to join Rotary:

  “My sense of it is that this will not only beef up the attendance at your memorial service, but that your life will be improved by serving others in ways that at present you may only vaguely imagine.” (09:53)

6. Global Efforts to Combat Loneliness

• UK and Australia Initiatives

  • UK: Launched a national "loneliness strategy," encourages doctors to prescribe social activities; introduced community 'chatty benches'.
  • Australia: The ‘men’s shed’ movement—community sheds for men to connect and share projects; now global with over 3,000 sheds.

    “Sheds allow men to talk with, work with, and learn from other self-motivated men.” – Ron Bowden (12:19)

• Men and Vulnerability

  • Men have fewer close friends than women; men without close friends grew from 3% to 15% (1990-2021).

    "Men struggle with vulnerability because our society tells them to be strong and independent, not needy or emotional..." – Megan Bruno (13:00)

7. Rotary Club Transformations

• David Cochran’s Story (Alpharetta, GA)

  • Facing retirement, he attended a Rotary symposium, met entrepreneur Jim Marggraf, and co-founded the Global Impact Group—a nonprofit using tech for social good.

    “It’s finding these crucial moments to enjoy one another, to open yourself up to different possibilities.” – David Cochran (14:15)

• Tom Gump’s Story (Edina Morningside, MN)

  • Hosted an exchange student, Paco, whose father died by suicide.
  • Rotary members rallied in support—organizing a memorial attended by 300 Rotarians.

    “That’s when I realized Rotary is more than a club...it’s a family.” – Tom Gump (16:04)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Close friends grow apart or even die, and replacing them feels daunting.” (01:06)
• “I didn’t want to be one of those retirees who just sat around twiddling my thumbs and lost my social group.” – Chris Cameron (03:52)
• “When Bruno talks to patients who feel lonely, she validates their emotions and emphasizes how common this emotion is.” (08:22)
• “Sign up for an eight-week cooking or art class...bring a gift to your neighbor and see if they’d be up for a walk or coffee.” – Megan Bruno (09:33)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Phil Clark’s Story: 00:19-02:39
• Stats & Science of Friendship: 02:39-03:34
• Chris Cameron & Cindy Volan’s Friendship: 03:34-06:25
• Loneliness Epidemic & Mental Health: 06:50-09:33
• Rotary as Friendship’s Remedy: 09:53-10:35
• Global Loneliness and Men’s Sheds: 10:35-13:16
• David Cochran’s and Tom Gump’s Rotary Experiences: 13:16-16:34

Conclusion

This episode vividly illustrates both the crisis of loneliness and the transformative potential of intentional connection. Through personal stories and practical guidance, "You've Got a Friend" makes clear that while adult friendships can be hard to forge, organizations like Rotary provide a welcoming space to create meaningful, even life-changing, bonds.
As Tom Gump shares in a defining moment:

“Rotary is more than a club...it’s a family.” (16:04)