Rotten Mango Podcast – Detailed Episode Summary
Episode Title: Husband KILLS Wife For Denying Sex During Her Period
Host: Stephanie Soo
Date: January 5, 2026
Episode Overview
In this gripping episode, Stephanie Soo dives into a true-crime case from South Korea where a newlywed wife, Haeyoung, is murdered by her husband, SJ, after she denies sex during her period. The episode explores not only the disturbing circumstances of the crime but also delves deeply into the cultural, psychological, and societal contexts of marital expectations, consent, and gender dynamics in South Korea and beyond.
Stephanie narrates the case with a blend of somber detail and dark wit, unpacking the sequence of events, the aftermath, and providing nuanced commentary on broader attitudes about marriage and entitlement. The tone is raw, empathetic, and at times, sharply critical of misogynistic and entitled mindsets.
Key Topics & Discussion Points
1. Introduction to the Case & Initial Shock
[01:02–03:38]
- Stephanie opens with SJ’s family’s anxiety after his wife Haeyoung’s sudden, mysterious death, describing the surreal atmosphere in a morgue (“he probably feels all this guilt of not having been in the room with her, but outside on the couch, leaving for work in the morning, thinking she’s asleep … in reality she was dead in the bedroom.”)
- Eerie interaction: SJ unpromptedly tells his sister-in-law at the morgue, “I’m someone with really strong sexual desires,” (03:38)
2. Korean Traditions, Wedding, and the ‘Perfect Couple’
[04:48–11:46]
- Stephanie describes the tradition of handing out rice cakes to new neighbors — a symbol intended to drive out evil spirits.
- Haeyoung and SJ, described as the “model couple:” kind, affectionate, well-mannered, admired by their friends and family.
- Texts and messages between Haeyoung and SJ show an outwardly loving relationship (“I love you, my woman. I love you too. Heart emoji," [09:11]).
- Just two months into marriage, things sour — Haeyoung texts SJ, “I think divorce is the answer. Let’s get divorce papers in the morning,” ([10:22]).
3. Discovery of Haeyoung’s Death
[11:47–17:20]
- Haeyoung’s mother receives a call about her death and thinks it’s a scam — a nod to the rise of phone scams about family tragedy in Korea.
- The shock and disbelief of her family — Haeyoung was only 34, healthy, with no conditions (“She has no prior medical conditions, she has no ailments. She just dies in her sleep in her bed.” [13:08])
- Korean funeral customs: The chief mourner role (SJ), the emotional burden, and the family’s confusion over Haeyoung’s sudden passing.
4. The Night Before: Haeyoung’s Final Hours
[16:54–20:11]
- Haeyoung went out with SJ, her sister, and a friend — “she did look tired, but not abnormally tired … she just said that night, ‘oh, I’m tired, I’m on my period but it’s really heavy’” ([15:46]).
- After a night out, she texts her sister with playful sibling banter; nothing seems off.
- At the funeral, detectives arrest SJ — he protests loudly, bows deeply to his father-in-law, but is seen with a fleeting smile (“his eyes are wide open … and then Hae Young’s sister and her friends notice the corner of his lips lift up like he can’t help but smile.” [20:00])
5. Societal & Religious Commentary on Marital ‘Entitlement’
[23:08–32:20]
- Stephanie critiques misogynistic online communities and blogs justifying men’s entitlement to sex in marriage, mocking claims that “sexual denial in marriage is a sin” and men should “discipline” wives who refuse ([23:08–28:10]).
- Pulls examples from Reddit and blogs, showing that some people view sexual consent as nullified by marriage (“there are people that will write things … if you get married, you are essentially signing away your sexual consent in exchange for financial and emotional stability” [29:45]).
- Connects these attitudes to SJ, quoting his comments: “If I can’t have sex with my wife, where am I supposed to get it? Should I go pay for it?” ([31:10])
6. Haeyoung’s Pregnancy, Medical Issues, and SJ’s Inconsiderate Behavior
[32:21–43:00]
- Haeyoung has a miscarriage and a rare ectopic pregnancy; she loses a fallopian tube and endures further complications.
- SJ’s insensitivity: After her miscarriage, he texts, “It’s fine. As long as you and I are healthy, we can make another baby. I feel so inadequate and foolish. I’m so sorry.” ([34:20])
- Friends recall that during her pregnancy, Haeyoung felt pressured into having sex even when she feared for the baby’s health.
- In the hospital, while Haeyoung cannot eat, SJ consumes her hospital meals instead of taking care of her ([39:34]).
- Texts reveal ongoing conflict: Haeyoung explains why she can’t be intimate, and SJ whines, “Well, the doctor said we should return to daily life in a month,” ([42:58]) and, “If I don’t initiate skinship first, we never have skinship … I’m just asking you to love me as much as I love you. Or even just a little.” ([48:08])
Timeline of Key Events
| Timestamp | Event | |------------|--------| | 01:02–03:38 | SJ is anxious, expressing sexual frustration even at the morgue. | | 04:48–11:46 | Background on their marriage, “perfect couple” facade. | | 11:47–17:20| Discovery of Haeyoung’s death, family disbelief, and Korean funeral customs. | | 16:54–20:11| Night before the murder: Haeyoung’s last evening; SJ arrested at the funeral. | | 23:08–32:20| Societal rant on marital rape, entitlement, and toxic mindsets online. | | 32:21–43:00| Medical trauma: miscarriage, rare ectopic, SJ’s insensitivity, and continued sexual pressure. | | 50:02–55:41| Police investigation: Inconsistencies in SJ’s story, deleted security footage, neighbor statements. | | 55:41–62:18| SJ confesses to killing Haeyoung after she denies sex; psychological analysis. | | 62:44–68:06| Trial, conviction, family aftermath, and social impact of the case. |
7. Investigation and Evidence
[50:02–62:18]
- SJ publicizes a false story (“following the traffic accident, the director’s spouse has passed away, and SJ remains in critical condition in the ICU” [49:01]) to studio members.
- At first, SJ claims ignorance, then changes his story, admitting to killing Haeyoung but blaming a “drunken fight.”
- Autopsy finds strangulation marks; neighbor heard “a strange and unfamiliar sound … like something dragging … a flapping noise … and then a strange … breathing out (as if choking)” ([54:33–55:12]).
- Home security camera footage and app had been deleted from Haeyoung’s phone.
- Police find sleeping drugs in her system—Haeyoung was adamantly against mixing meds and alcohol.
8. The Motive: Control, Not Desire
[62:33–65:32]
- Police behavioral psychologist: “I don’t think this was a matter of sexual desire … this seems to be about control. Always.” ([62:44])
- Evidence of SJ’s need for dominance: “don’t ever think about cheating on me because I will track you down and I will kill you.” ([63:26])
- History of threatening, controlling behavior and the escalation after she brings up divorce.
9. The Aftermath: Legal, Emotional, Societal
[65:59–68:06]
- SJ sentenced to 25 years imprisonment; Haeyoung’s family and friends left devastated.
- Due to Korean privacy laws, his name and photo are withheld; Haeyoung’s parents permit her identity to become public.
- Stephanie notes the wider impact: “A lot of people are using this case … to be like, hey, you really don’t have to get married. Because if you marry the wrong person, you could also be dead.” ([67:31])
Memorable Quotes & Notable Moments
“I’m someone with really strong sexual desires … but your sister would never let me touch her.”
— SJ to his sister-in-law, at the morgue ([03:38])
“If I can’t have sex with my wife, where am I supposed to get it? Should I go pay for it?”
— SJ, as quoted by friends ([31:10])
“Ever since the pregnancy and the miscarriage, my body has been so weak. … If we tried it once and it hurts, shouldn’t you think that maybe my body hasn’t recovered yet. It hasn’t even been a month yet.”
— Haeyoung, text to SJ ([42:37])
“It goes on to say the forms of discipline a husband should use if the wife does not want to have intimate relations … stop giving her those nice back and shoulder massages … remove all funding for her aside from food and shelter.”
— Stephanie reading and mocking a misogynistic marriage advice site ([26:30–27:40])
“This seems to be about control. Always. … ‘If I can’t have her, I will destroy her.’”
— Police behavioral psychologist ([62:44, 65:32])
“Her parents wanted her to be revealed because they said, you will never understand what was taken from us if you don’t see … our girl.”
— Stephanie ([66:25])
Social Context & Closing Reflection
Stephanie closes reflecting on South Korea’s—indeed, global—pressures to marry and the dangers of coercion and control disguised as marital duty. She calls for vigilance, empathy, and self-advocacy, drawing attention both to the individual tragedy and the broader prevalence of marital entitlement and domestic violence.
Final Takeaways
- The case challenges assumptions about ‘safe’ relationships and highlights the dangers of entitlement, the rights of women to bodily autonomy in marriage, and the failures of cultural scripts that prioritize marital harmony over individual well-being.
- Stephanie encourages listeners to critically examine societal norms, support survivors, and prioritize personal safety and health over societal expectations.
For listeners:
This episode is a deep, often disturbing dive into a tragic case, but it’s also a broader call to compassion, awareness, and cultural critique. Stephanie balances forensic detail with social analysis, and the episode will resonate for anyone interested in true crime, feminism, and Korean culture.