I Sat Down With A Killer

Summary

Rotten Mango – "I Sat Down With A Killer" (August 18, 2025) – Episode Summary

Main Theme & Purpose

In this intense and harrowing episode of Rotten Mango, Stephanie Soo sits down with Clark Fedrix, a self-confessed killer who murdered Dennis Pegg, a man he alleges abused him—and many others—for decades. The episode is a deep dive into the psychology of both the abuser and the avenger, exploring the cycles of trauma, vengeance, the failings of the justice system, and the generational ripple effects of abuse. Through Clark’s firsthand account, listeners are confronted with questions about justice, survival, and the true cost of trauma.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Crime Scene and Immediate Aftermath

• [01:12] Detective Ryan finds Dennis Pegg dead in his home—blood everywhere, clear signs he was “hunted” and killed violently, not a quick crime. Key evidence includes a distinctive bloody footprint right outside the master bedroom.

• [04:16] Clark recalls leaving the crime scene injured, bleeding from a knife wound to his hand. He describes feeling more focused on not bleeding out than escaping.

  "I was bleeding severely... I was not even thinking about getting away with it. I was thinking about stopping the blood flow." — Clark Fedrix [04:16]

• [06:05] The next morning, police surround Clark’s house. He feels his life is over.

  "I'm thinking life is over." — Clark Fedrix [06:26]

Clark’s Psychological State & Motive

• [06:39] Clark admits to feeling almost nothing upon seeing the graphic crime scene photos, describing the murder as “horrific” but not something he rejoices over.

• The court and psychiatrists were perplexed—Clark is not psychotic, does not fit the profile of a typical murderer, and claims no remorse for killing Dennis.

• The entire town rallies behind Clark, with “Free Clark” bumper stickers becoming ubiquitous.

  "The short answer is he was a monster." — Clark Fedrix, on why he killed Dennis Pegg [09:44]

  "He had a 45 year reign of terror...raping boys." — Clark Fedrix [09:50]

The Early Years: Grooming and Abuse

• [10:13] Clark, born with a hole in his heart (his “zipper” scar), recounts how Pegg began grooming him as a child, using the scar as a pretext for inappropriate touch.

  "He was my brother's boy scout leader...family friend." — Clark Fedrix [11:03] "A predator is a chess master… I don't think he cared two hoots about my scar. It was just an avenue." — Clark Fedrix [16:17]

• Pegg established trust and secrecy through manipulation—confiding, gift-giving (e.g., a knife sharpener for Clark's hunting knife), alcohol, and exposure to pornography and physical touch (wrestling).

  "He’d wrestle you, then his eyes would go black...pin me to the ground...start gyrating." — Clark Fedrix [33:37]

• Clark’s haunting memory of Pegg’s “meaty fingers” becomes a recurring sensory motif of the trauma.

Patterns of Control and Violence

• Pegg's cruelty toward animals—stomping on sunfish, biting goldfish in half—was a performance of dominance meant to instill fear in young boys.

  “That’s what you do to things that are worthless.” — Dennis Pegg (recounted by Clark) [17:30]

• The abuse escalates over years from secrecy and grooming to overt sexual violence and sadism, including threats and demonstrations of lethal force (e.g., beating his dog to death as a warning).

  "He brought his dog over to me and said, I want to show you what will happen to you if you ever open your mouth..." — Clark Fedrix [37:19]

The Long-Term Effects of Trauma

• Clark internalizes shame and guilt, carrying the blame for Pegg’s actions toward others (including the dog).

• Over three decades, Clark buries the trauma, which manifests as substance abuse and psychological unraveling.

  "I led the most exhausting life because I would crank on a smile to the world. And inside I was completely broken." — Clark Fedrix [44:01]

The Encounter That Changed Everything

• [45:26] Thirty-three years later, Clark sees Pegg at a convenience store with another young boy, triggering intense distress and a mental breakdown.

  “He had a young boy by his side… and the boy called him by the same nickname he made me use.” — Clark Fedrix [45:54]

• Unable to cope, Clark spirals into addiction, unemployment, and obsession with preventing future victims.

Confession and the Decision to Kill

• The breaking point comes when Clark, after 33 years, confides in his friend Bob and decides to confront Pegg—armed only with the knife Pegg taught him to sharpen.

  "It wasn't planned… I handed him the knife...let's just go confront this piece of garbage." — Clark Fedrix [58:53]

The Night of the Murder: A Suicide Mission

• Clark and Bob enter Pegg’s house. A brief, violent struggle ensues, ending with Clark killing Pegg in an act he describes as rage-filled, not calculated.

  "I raced across the room...started slashing...I said, 'It's not so fun little boys now, is it, Dennis?' And I slit his throat." — Clark Fedrix [61:41]

• Symbolically, Clark spits on the bed where the abuse occurred.

  "To bring things full circle and to a closure, I needed to do that." — Clark Fedrix [72:45]

• He feels no catharsis, only the end of his own life as he knew it.

  "You don't heal from trauma by adding more trauma...I knew walking out of his house that night that my life was over." — Clark Fedrix [63:02]

Aftermath, Arrest, and Law Enforcement’s Complicity

• Clark is arrested after unsuccessfully considering suicide by cop. His mother tries to help him escape before the police arrive; she cleans blood to hide evidence.

• In a surprise twist, Lieutenant Howie Ryan, the crime scene investigator, apologizes to Clark for law enforcement’s failure:

  "I've heard rumors about Dennis Pegg for a long time...I want to apologize for never stopping him. I can't arrest someone on rumors...and I apologize to you." — Howie Ryan, as recounted by Clark [81:30]

• Clark notes the anger this provokes: "Even the state police knew… Everybody knew." [81:52]

The Town’s Reaction & Legal Defense

• Community opinion is polarizing. While some cling to Pegg’s public persona, others quickly rally behind Clark as a vigilante hero.

• Clark’s lawyer (Dan Perez) offers hope for a valid defense, against a first-degree murder charge.

  "I think we can have a valid defense for this... It's not going to be easy, but I don't think your life is over." — Dan Perez [87:26]

Additional Revelations

• Police discover letters in Pegg’s safe deposit box, allegedly to victims, hinting at awareness and guilt:

  “Forgive me for any failings... I hope I didn’t disappoint you...” — Dennis Pegg (letters discussed) [88:10]

• The scope of Pegg's predation is estimated at "well over 100" victims, including Clark’s own brother, who later drinks himself to death—another casualty of the cycle of abuse.

  "My brother... found dead on our kitchen floor... from drinking himself to death." — Clark Fedrix [90:09]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the nature of justice:

  "You don't heal from trauma by adding more trauma. You don't heal from sexual abuse by murdering someone." — Clark Fedrix [63:02]

• On confronting the abuser:

  "If they could spit on the bed they were raped in, they would want to do it." — Clark Fedrix [74:19]

• Law enforcement’s admission:

  "I can't arrest somebody on rumors. I need victims, I need cold, hard facts… and I apologize to you." — Lt. Howie Ryan [81:30]

• Stephanie’s reflection:

  "It almost feels therapeutic when you spit on his bed...I know you don't advocate for people to do and follow in those steps, but it just...was relief for the reader." — Stephanie Soo [74:16]

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Important Timestamps

• 01:12 — Description of the crime scene by Detective Ryan
• 04:16 — Clark recalls fleeing after the murder, wounded
• 09:44 — Motive for the killing: Dennis as a “monster”
• 10:13 — Childhood heart surgery and the start of Pegg’s grooming
• 17:30 — Pegg's cruelty to sunfish; lessons in dominance
• 24:46 — Pegg’s omnipresence at school and in the community
• 33:37 — The escalation: wrestling as a transition to abuse
• 37:19 — The breaking point: sexual assault and the dog's death
• 45:54 — Seeing Pegg with a new victim at QuickCheck
• 58:53 — Decision to confront Pegg: suicide mission
• 61:41 — The murder: a struggle, then revenge and symbolism
• 72:45 — Spitting on the bed: closure or not
• 81:30 — Lt. Ryan's apology and revelations about Pegg
• 90:09 — Confirmation that Clark’s brother, too, was a victim
• 91:03 — End tease: FBI warnings, fights in prison, and further fallout (to come in Part 2)

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Episode Tone & Structure

Stephanie’s approach is empathetic but unflinching, allowing Clark to narrate his trauma in his own voice. The tone is somber, reflective, and raw, with periodic moments of dark humor and absurdity—such as Clark’s mother’s outlandish efforts to help him escape, or the morbid poetics of spitting on the bed. Despite the subject matter, both Clark and Stephanie strive to emphasize the reality that vengeance is not healing, and that true justice eluded everyone for decades.

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For Listeners

This episode is the first of a two-part series—ending with unanswered questions about threats to Clark’s life in prison, the FBI warning him of a hit, and yet more tragedy among Pegg’s victims. Stephanie encourages the audience to seek out Clark’s memoir, “Scarred,” for deeper context, and promises further revelations in the follow-up episode.

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Trigger warning: This episode contains graphic descriptions of sexual abuse, violence, and trauma. Listener discretion is strongly advised.

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End of Summary.

Transcript

[Interviewer]

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[Clark Fedrix]

Bada bing, bada boo.

[Interviewer]

There is a certain process of elimination when you are at the scene of a death. Some cases are obviously going to be trickier than others. Some cases, the whole time, the investigators are debating, first of all, how, like, how did this even happen? We don't know. And if this is what truly happened, if our theory is correct, are we sure that's what really happened? That's what the investigators are doing. But for Detective Ryan, this case starts off really easy. Dead man in the living room in his own house. He's dead in his living room, in his house, in, like, a secluded wooded area. He walks in. Was it natural? That's the first question. Well, no, because there's droplets of blood right at the entrance of the house. It doesn't seem like it was natural. Detective Ryan steps into the house a little bit deeper. Now, was it a robbery gone wrong? The door shows no signs of forced entry. He steps inside further, and there are just streaks of blood everywhere. One of the other officers walks straight up to him and just says, well, somebody tried to cut this dude's head off. Murder. That's what this is. We got the how the cause of death is murder with a hunting knife. By the clues left behind in the living room, I mean, nothing of value is taken. All of the blood is concentrated near the couch in this living room area. Whoever did this hunted the dead man. It's like they hunted them and killed him in his own living room. And it wasn't quick either. Like, there are slash wounds all over this man's body. His throat is nearly slit. You can see, see the bone on both sides. There's blood all over the walls. There's blood soaking into the carpets. This guy was hunted. He was killed rather painfully, rather violently in his own living room. The first interesting detail that sticks out to officer Ryan is that there's this bloody footprint that just feels so out of place. Obviously, there's gonna be lots of bloody footprints all over this living room, but it's concentrated in this specific living room area except this one clear bloody footprint right in front of the door to the primary bedroom. It's almost like the killer, whoever this person is, walked over there, put one foot just outside the door, never stepped inside. What are they doing? Detective Ryan steps inside the master bedroom, and he starts looking around, and that's when he sees it. He's like, did the killer slit that man's throat? Walk over to this bedroom to spit on the bed? Detective Ryan knows instantly that whoever did this knows the dead man, targeted the dead man, hunted the dead man, and left a giant trail of evidence. It's not long after that that Detective Ryan is gonna find the killer, and he's got a lot of questions to ask this killer, and so do we. Can you take us to when we're in the car after you kill Dennis?

[Clark Fedrix]

I was bleeding severely. I had a severe wound. Speaking to my buddy in the passenger seat, I was not even thinking about getting away with it. I was thinking about stopping the blood flow.

[Interviewer]

Did you have a hole in your hand?

[Clark Fedrix]

I did. I put a knife right through it. Severed the ligaments and tendons.

[Interviewer]

How long was the knife?

[Clark Fedrix]

It was a hunting knife. So they're about six inches long. Six, eight inches.

[Interviewer]

And that was also the murder weapon?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yes.

[Interviewer]

Did you take the murder weapon with you, or did you leave it?

[Clark Fedrix]

Took it.

[Interviewer]

And there was blood everywhere. Was it coming from your hand, or was it someone else's blood?

[Clark Fedrix]

A mixture.

[Interviewer]

Did you feel the need to get rid of the blood?

[Clark Fedrix]

I had a glove on, and when I got back to my house, I could wring out the glove. It was just pouring out of me, and it was everywhere in our. In my garage.

[Interviewer]

Can you walk me through the hole in your hand?

[Clark Fedrix]

See, it wasn't straight through the hand. It was down this way and out this way. So it went the whole length, and you could see pretty deep into the. Because it was wide open. At the time.

[Interviewer]

And you're just driving with one hand?

[Clark Fedrix]

I had the glove on at the time, so I couldn't see it until I got back and standing in my garage, pulled the glove off, and then I was like, oh, boy. We had a. We got a problem.

[Interviewer]

Did it hurt? The hole in the hand?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah. But I was. I was full of adrenaline and cocaine and alcohol. I wasn't fixated on the pain. Pain didn't bother me at the time.

[Interviewer]

The next morning, police are surrounding your house, and you pour a glass of chardade. Yeah. How many police officers are outside trying to arrest you?

[Clark Fedrix]

12 to 20.

[Interviewer]

Are you scared?

[Clark Fedrix]

I'm thinking life is over.

[Interviewer]

Your attorney describes it as horrific. Crime scene photos after you left Dennis's house. Have you seen those photos?

[Clark Fedrix]

I have.

[Interviewer]

Did you feel anything when you saw it?

[Clark Fedrix]

Honestly? No.

[Interviewer]

Dennis obituary reads, to those who knew him well, he will be remembered as a great man who always went above and beyond the call of duty and one whose love and loyalty for his friends was unparalleled. Do you agree with that?

[Clark Fedrix]

No, I do not agree with that.

[Interviewer]

You provided to us your records, like your psychology records from when you were in jail. And then later, prison psychologist asked you, do you feel relief after the homicide? And you say, I can't say that things were out of control. No. Relief.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah, I'm. What. What happened in that night was horrific. In. In his house was horrific, and it wasn't anything to sit back and rejoice over. It was a bloody, gory, horrific event.

[Interviewer]

Do you remember how many times you stabbed him? Or do you only know from what's been told?

[Clark Fedrix]

Only from what I've been told.

[Interviewer]

Initially, when you were first arrested, I think there was questions of maybe there is an insanity plea. Maybe there are all these other things. And one report reads the most outstanding clinical feature was the absence of any significant overt psychopathology. So does that mean that some psychiatrists were confused because you didn't strike them as a psychopath or someone that just kills out of nowhere?

[Clark Fedrix]

Right. They didn't find any, you know, anything psychologically wrong with me to do what I did.

[Interviewer]

You killed Dennis Pegg.

[Clark Fedrix]

I did.

[Interviewer]

You stabbed him.

[Clark Fedrix]

I did.

[Interviewer]

Reports say you slit his throat.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yes.

[Interviewer]

You spit on his bed.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yes.

[Interviewer]

And you drove off with a hole in your hand.

[Clark Fedrix]

Correct.

[Interviewer]

And then you were arrested and psychiatrists say that they found nothing wrong with you.

[Clark Fedrix]

Correct.

[Interviewer]

And so, technically, you killed someone and you don't regret it.

[Clark Fedrix]

No.

[Interviewer]

And everyone in town, while you're in jail waiting for a trial, a Plea deal. Waiting for whatever fate has in store. Everyone in town has free Clark stickers on their cars. People are writing articles. People are selling bumper stickers that say free Clark.

[Clark Fedrix]

They were everywhere instantly, like in less than a week's time.

[Interviewer]

Why did you kill Dennis Pegg?

[Clark Fedrix]

The short answer is he was a monster.

[Interviewer]

What's the long answer?

[Clark Fedrix]

Long answer is he had a 45 year reign of terror in our little town of Stillwater, New Jersey, raping boys.

[Interviewer]

Were you one of the boys?

[Clark Fedrix]

I was.

[Interviewer]

I was reading in your memoir scarred, you were born with a hole in your heart.

[Clark Fedrix]

I was just a defect in my heart. And the doctors monitored me for the first six years of my life and they told my parents we were down to a six month window to operate to repair it.

[Interviewer]

And so you had the surgery and you have a scar that you call a zipper.

[Clark Fedrix]

You know, with all the stitching, it looks just like a zipper.

[Interviewer]

I know in the beginning when you were a kid, you were bothered by the scar. Is that something you're still bothered by?

[Clark Fedrix]

No, I've come to make peace with my scar.

[Interviewer]

So, okay, what was your first impression of Dennis? I know in your memoir you talk about how he came over and he offered you a dollar to touch your scar because it was the thing that your parents were doing to try and get you to be proud of your scar was to show people for quarters.

[Clark Fedrix]

Right. You're going back, you know, to 1971 to have open heart surgery as a six year old child. Open heart surgery today is still a risky endeavor. So they were extremely proud of me for surviving this. I was in Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City for a month straight and they were so proud. They just wanted to show me off to their friends. And they thought a neat way to, you know, when you're a kid, you just want to fit in with all the other kids. I had something now that made me stick out from everybody. So they just thought it would be a way to get me comfortable with it by showing it to their friends and collecting a quarter.

[Interviewer]

Dennis Pegg was a family friend.

[Clark Fedrix]

He was. He was my brother's boy. I had a brother who was six years older than me, Jay. And he was my brother's boy scout leader. And we had a lot of land where we lived in New Jersey, and he would hunt on our land with. With my father and brother. I wasn't old enough yet. And my parents owned a restaurant back then. And my father put on big Sunday night meals and he would come every Sunday and have dinner with us. And tell stories about. He worked at the county jail as a sheriff's officer, and he would tell stories about that.

[Interviewer]

Do you think that he targeted your family to get close to you guys, or do you think he genuinely was just friendly with your parents?

[Clark Fedrix]

Targeted predators have to win over. One, they have to win over their community so nobody would ever suspect them. Two, they have to win over the family. And then, then last, they have to win over the victim.

[Interviewer]

Can you tell me about the moment that he saw your scar?

[Clark Fedrix]

It was a. It was just a couple months after I had the surgery. Everybody in my family was in our backyard, and I came inside to get a drink and watch cartoons for a minute. And Dennis came to the front door, which was right next to our den. And I heard his voice and I bounded up. I loved Dennis, you know, I just thought he was great. He always had his gun on and a badge. And I let him in and he asked where everybody was, and I told him everybody was out back. And he said, let's sit. Sit in the den for a minute. And then he said, you know, hey, I got a quarter. Can I see your scar? Didn't think anything of it. Lifted my shirt, showed him, and he said, I've never seen a scar so raised like yours. I have keloid condition, so my scar is pronounced. And he goes, how about I give you a dollar if you let me touch it? I couldn't possibly think of in my little six year old mind of any ulterior motives he would have. And I said, sure, den. And. And he took his big meaty fingers and he ran them up and down my scar. And then he went below my scar line to, like, my belt line. And he was just probing and saying, is your stomach sore from the surgery? And I'm like, no, not at all. Then he's like, okay. He's like, this has to be our little secret. He goes, if you tell your parents that I gave you a dollar for touching your scar, we can't be buddies. I'm like, I can keep a secret.

[Interviewer]

So when he's like, probing and touching, did it just feel like because you had just gotten out of surgery, did it just feel like another adult that's maybe making sure you're okay?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Is that the feeling?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah. Like I said, there wasn't one thought in my mind that he could have any other reason to touch other than he cared about me and my well being.

[Interviewer]

Throughout the book, you describe him as having meaty fingers. And I know a lot of cases that we cover a lot of victims remember specific sensations or very specific scents even. Is that something that you, like, remember distinctly as meaty fingers?

[Clark Fedrix]

Like, yeah, he was a big, hulking guy, and I was a little, tiny kid back then. When I say hulking, he was probably £265 and just one of those big, beefy guys. Him touching my scar stands out so pronounced in my mind, and. And the visualization of his big, meaty fingers is, like, ingrained in my memory. I wish I could scrape it off and remove it, but I can't. It's, like, ingrained in there.

[Interviewer]

I'm assuming that's a worse memory than the actual open heart surgery.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah, it's. He, like, ruined my open heart surgery, ruined my scar. I hated my scar because what would happen later on, and he's the reason for me hating the way I looked.

[Interviewer]

Did he have any sort of fascination with your scark or was it truly 100% just an excuse to start grooming you?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah, I don't think he had any. Things with a predator, they're never the way they seem. A predator is a chess master. Always multiple steps ahead of you. So, like, everything may seem one way, but to them, it's complete other way. And I don't think he cared two hoots about my scar. It was just an avenue to get what he ultimately, ultimately wanted.

[Interviewer]

You guys would go fishing. There would be a lake. You and a bunch of boys would go fishing. Dennis pegg would constantly be there. And there was an issue with the sunfish. Like, these little fish in the lake that. That don't taste good. They're not edible fish.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah, I mean, they're tiny. So you. You. To fillet a sunfish, you'd have to fillet a lot of them to get any meat off of their.

[Interviewer]

So it's mainly sunfish.

[Clark Fedrix]

Right down by the dam, there'd be a lot of sunfish. And they're. They're a really, like, gullible fish where you don't even need to put a worm on a hook. You could just put your hook in the water, and they see the bright shimmering, and they just latch onto it, and, you know, you catch them and you just release them. Or so we thought.

[Interviewer]

He does not catch and release them. What did he do?

[Clark Fedrix]

No. And again, for me to say he didn't like sunfish is wrong, because he's a chess master, Remember, he's a predator, and he's one step ahead of us. Two steps, three steps ahead of us. He would tell us little boys that sunfish were a worthless Fish and that they needed to be killed. And he would catch them and stomp on them with his boot. Or he would catch them, throw them in the grass alongside the river, and then pick up a big rock and smash it down on them. And he'd be like, that's what you do to things that are worthless.

[Interviewer]

So everything's like a means to an end for him. So he just wants to see scare everyone.

[Clark Fedrix]

It's a control thing. It's. It's a domin. Domination thing. It's also to let you know if he considers you worthless, this is what will happen to you. He, you know, we're down there as a group of young boys, and it's not just me he's, you know, targeting. He's targeting all of us and letting us all know how he feels about worthless things.

[Interviewer]

This is a little sidetracked, but I was doing research into sunfish because I didn't even know what they looked like. And in a lot of indigenous cultures, they're actually known for protecting the young.

[Clark Fedrix]

Really?

[Interviewer]

That's like. They're some of the fiercest protectors of their young.

[Clark Fedrix]

Wow.

[Interviewer]

Like, they will stay by their young for 10 to 14 days and starve themselves just to protect them. And so it seems almost ironic that he specifically did not like sunfish as well.

[Clark Fedrix]

Wow, I didn't hear that.

[Interviewer]

That's very interesting.

[Clark Fedrix]

I never heard that. Yeah, it's amazing.

[Interviewer]

So in one of the court documents, it mentions that he. Did he drink a goldfish or he bit a goldfish in half. Spit the halves into his beer. Did he drink the beer with the goldfish?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah, yeah. And he said he used to do that with his army buddies.

[Interviewer]

And he would just make you guys watch.

[Clark Fedrix]

Made me watch. This was at his house. You're saying that he will bite a goldfish in half? Yeah, he. He bit a goldfish in half and then swallowed it down with his beer. And you can make up whatever psychological reference you want. You know, again, it's to scare me. It's to show violence to me.

[Interviewer]

Like, his demeanor during all of it is just Dennis.

[Clark Fedrix]

Dennis was a light switch. He could be one way. Outgoing, friendly, gregarious, fun loving. Instantly. Eyes dilate, turn black, and he becomes a completely different person.

[Interviewer]

What happens at the Polaroids?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah, down at the lake Again, I lived at a lake community, and there was a dam area, and the dam would separate the lake and then into the river, and that's where all us kids would be, hang out and play. He did everything out of the watchful eye of my parents when everything happened, you know, my mother said, I never even saw him with you. I'm like, everything happened down at the lake. And he was giving beer to us young boys, not just me down there. So I'm like nine years old, you know, get a picture of a little nine year old. He invites me into his pickup truck down at the lake and let's have a beer. So he gives me a beer and I thought it was great. You know, like, here's a lieutenant, he's a lieutenant in the sheriff's department and I'm getting to have a beer with him. I'm thinking, this is fantastic. And he says, one of my friends just bought a old farmhouse and there was a desk, old desk left behind. So I started going through the drawers and it was filled with porno pictures. You want to see some? And, and you know, I'm like thinking like Playboy magazine type stuff. He, you know, reaches. He had cargo shorts, you know, cargo shorts, had the big pockets on them. So he opens up his. His cargo shorts pockets and takes out a handful of Polaroid pictures. And he just, he's looking at him and he just start. Starts giggling like a little schoolboy would giggle. And he's like, oh, these are a riot. He's like, here. And it was a close up of a young penis. And he's like, here's another one and here's another one. And it was just penis after penis. And he. And he's slapping my knee in his truck, laughing. Aren't these so funny? Aren't these a riot? And I'm like, where's all the women then? And he's like, oh, those must have been in the other drawer. Next time I go over to that house, I'll open up the other drawer for you. But look at these, Aren't these a riot? Aren't these so funny? And he's. And I'm just like, you know, so.

[Interviewer]

You think he took these Polaroids? I mean, there was no friend, there was no farmhouse.

[Clark Fedrix]

No.

[Interviewer]

He took these.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yes. Yeah, I'm. He always had large stories. And looking back now, I don't know if any. If one of them was true. I have no idea.

[Interviewer]

He would invite you to his house and then he would try to feed you beers.

[Clark Fedrix]

And what would happen a lot is the dam area where I lived, the river went right through Stillwater to a bridge area, the grist mill. Bridge. There was a old grist mill right at the bridge. And he would say, down at the dam area, the fish aren't biting that good. Let's go over, you know, towards the grist mill or there's twin bridges in another section of the river. Or he'd say, let's go to the twin bridges. And he would always mysteriously slip in the mud. His foot would go into the mud or he'd slip and go into the river and get his boot wet. And we'd have to go to his house so he could change his shoe, sneaker or change his boots. And that's how he would get me over there. And then while we were there, well, let's have a beer while we're here. So it would be just to get me comfortable going to his house and having a beer at his house.

[Interviewer]

Were the houses like far apart or did people see that there's constantly boys going in and out of his house?

[Clark Fedrix]

No, he lived, he lived up a long driveway in the house. House sat alone up there.

[Interviewer]

So you can't see anything. Like if you were to scream, people can't hear. It's pretty.

[Clark Fedrix]

There was houses down below, but his was a driveway that went up, did a 90 degree turn to the house. And it was the only house up there, his house. I don't want to call it a cabin. It was a two bedroom, one bathroom house and it sat up on a hill that overlooked the elementary school playground.

[Interviewer]

Was he like looking there all the time? Was he outside?

[Clark Fedrix]

I went to that elementary school, Stillwater Elementary School. I was in little league baseball. And he was at every game that I can recall down on the fence. There was a fence that would go around the ball field. He would be down there. He would come around the fence to the bench where we'd sit at and grab your shoulders. Oh, great job out there. Great job. Just always down at the playground with the young kids.

[Interviewer]

No one thought it was weird because he doesn't have kids of his own, right?

[Clark Fedrix]

Not married, no kids. But he's the lieutenant in the sheriff's department. He's the boy scout leader. The, the boy scouts did their meetings in the gym of the elementary school. So he's. He's wrapped around everything in the town. He's on the Stillwater Historical Society board. The little old ladies loved him.

[Interviewer]

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[Clark Fedrix]

I mean, this goes on for years now. You know, the touching of the scar happened when I was six years old. It goes on to, like I said, inviting me into his truck down at the dam to have a beer with him. And this has to be our secret. And in my mind, I'm like, I don't want to ruin this. So I'm not telling. I'm not going to tell my parents. I had a beer with the lieutenant from the sheriff's department. This is fantastic, you know, and he made you, like, his equal. You know, he put you on equal foot. He made you, like, feel special. And it's us against the world. Everything he told me, I mean. I mean, one of the stories I recite is he was always taking trips out west. And on one of his trips, he said he met the Marlboro Man. Now, if. If you grew up in the 70s, 80s, the Marlboro man was a fictional character, but on the back of every magazine with a Marlboro cigarette dangling in his mouth. And he was the coolest dude imaginable. Dennis took the coolest machoist guy in America and told me he met him on a trip and he was gay. He said it didn't bother me in the least. He was such a great guy. We hung out for three days and had dinners and. And just, you know, just spent a lot of time together, so. And again, he would say, this has to be our secret. Don't tell anybody the Marlboro Man's gay. He confided that in me, you know, I don't want. I don't want his secret getting out. Did he ever meet the Marlborough man who played the Marlboro Man? I have no idea. Probably not. Was the Marlboro man gay? Who knows? It's just like I said, nothing. Nothing is ever as it seems with a predator. And so what's he doing? He's taking the machuist guy in America, Fictional character, but machuist and, and making him gay and, and trying to gauge my response and trying to normalize it, like, hey, that machuist guy in the world is gay. You know, and that's again, I, that's what I would surmise he was doing. You know, I can't get into his mind.

[Interviewer]

He tries to start wrestling with you. That was kind of like the gateway into.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah. You know, so he, he's taken years now, you know, of, of porn pictures, Marlboro man, beers slipping into the river, go to the house beers, you know, so he's, he's, he's in invested years of grooming. And at some point you have to initiate more touch. That's why I see people tussle a young boy's hair and it just sends a chill down my spine because to the normal person it's like, oh, cute little Billy, you know, but to a predator, they need to initiate touch. And that little tussle of the hair is going to go to a pat on the knee, is going to go to a pat on the thigh, is then going to go to a wrestling match. So he told me that he wrestled my older brother Jay, and he wrestled my next door neighbor, Jeff. Jeff and Jay were inseparable. They were same age, same grade in the scouts together. And he says to me, I wrestled Jeff and Jay, let's see how tough you are. And I'm like, okay. And at first he would let me dominate, let's say, you know, get the upper hand on him. And then like I said that that light switch would go off and his eyes would turn dark and black and he would pin me to the ground and we'd get his hulking 265 pound body on top of me and start gyrating and moving and grooving and looking back on it at the time, not really realizing what he was doing, but he was erect and this was getting him off.

[Interviewer]

And you're 11, so you're tiny.

[Clark Fedrix]

I was 10 when that started happening, when the wrestling started.

[Interviewer]

I mean, he's like three, four, five times your size.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah. I mean, and because of, I was a sick little kid when I was young. Like, you know, I was in the hospital constantly with the flu and bronchitis and anything because of the hole in my heart, they would, they would put me into the hospital immediately. I'd be in an oxygen tent and, you know, so I was constantly in the hospital.

[Interviewer]

And.

[Clark Fedrix]

I had to be careful for a long while after surgery with playing there Was some limitations put on me by the doctors, you know, so I was just a small little kid back then, sick kid. And this guy just took advantage of that. And he could tell, like I was insecure, you know, because my scar made me stand out. And they looked for something like, to separate the weak from the pack, you know, like any predator does. And my scar was, you know, in my insecurities about it is how he separated me from the pack. And wrestling was the next avenue of physical touch. He's devoted four years now of stories and secrets, alcohol, pornography. And now it's time to get back to touch.

[Interviewer]

There's a part where in your book, your memoir, you talk about how he pinned you down. And he says something along the lines of like, come on, you can get out. Come on, squirm. Do you feel like he is getting off on you struggling or.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah, yeah, it's exactly what he was doing. You know, he would get me down, you know, like I would be in the dominating position on top of him and. And then all of a sudden the light switch goes and he would get rough with me and like sort of throw me down my 10 year old body, throw me down and get on top and be, be commanding me to try harder, to get out, squirm more, move more, you know, because he's wanting me to move against him. And what he has going on, he.

[Interviewer]

Comes over for Christmas. What does he get you as a Christmas present?

[Clark Fedrix]

I had a boy scout hunting knife is what they were called. And he brought me a whetstone sharpening kit to sharpen the hunting knife. And over, over him drinking, you know, a glass or two of eggnog at our house. He taught me over the next hour, you know, keep, keep the blade at, you know, an 18 degree angle, how to drive it, you know, across the stone, you know, the oil you got to use. And. And then he would have me do it and taught me how to get a perfect blade on my hunting knife. And that was something I kept perfectly sharp my whole life.

[Interviewer]

The hunting knife.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

What happens when you're 12? And what happens to Dennis's dog as well? I know that there was like a hunting ploy excuse of like, you're gonna pretend to be shot in the woods because my buddy shoots everyone without thinking.

[Clark Fedrix]

So at 12, he concocted this whole big hunting ruse of having a friend who just shot and aimed and shot without knowing if it was safe to shoot. And he said, you know, we've got to correct my friend from this bad habit. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna use you as a decoy out in the woods. You're gonna be laying there with fake blood on you, and I'm going to take him out hunting and he's going to do his, you know, typical shoot. And then we're going to come upon you lying there with fake blood. And you need to practice gurgling. Sounds like you're gurgling blood, you know, your death rattle, he called it. You have to practice your death rattle. So he got me down at the lake one day, got me back to his house. We're going to practice your death rattle at the house. And instead of offering me beer, he offered me BlackBerry brandy, you know, a glass of BlackBerry brandy with a beer. And he told me to chug it. And then he gave me another thing of brandy. And his house was. It was a summer day, but his house was like way hotter inside than outside. And then in my adult mind now, looking back, I'm like, did he have his heat on? Did he like purposely turn his heat on in his house to make it sweltering, knowing what he had concocted? Like I say, with a predator, you never know what they're thinking. So his house is boiling, we're sweating. He wants me to lay down on his bed to practice my breathing. And it goes to. It's so hot in here. Let's just take our shirt and pants off, our shorts off. And then it goes to. He's behind me, has me in a bear hug. And me. And I'm screaming, I'm crying. And he had a dog, which is called the coonhound. And coonhounds have this long, drawn out howl, they do. And as I'm being, I hear his dog howling away because of my cries and screams. And it didn't stop this guy until he was done doing what he wanted to do with me. And afterwards, he sat me down at his kitchen table and got another beer. Like, almost like we were two lovers who just had a romantic tryst together. And he brought his dog over to me and said, I want to show you what will happen to you if you ever open your mouth about what just occurred. And he started to beat his dog and beat his dog. And I'm crying and screaming and begging him to please stop, to please stop. And he wouldn't until the dog lay in a heap at my feet. Now, I was just contacted just two days before this interview by a gentleman who, when he was 17 years old, needed a place to stay. And he stayed at Dennis Pegg's house for six months. And he said it was the most bizarre six months of his life. He said the guy was a complete freak. He said one thing that happened, though, is he got. Now, when he was 17, he's 10 years older than me. I would have been seven back then when he. Me would be five years later. So this dog would be five years old. And this guy said, dennis got this coonhound puppy when I lived with him, and it peed on the rug, and he beat the puppy so bad, we had to take it to the vet to save its life. So even as a puppy, he beat it for simply doing what puppies do and peed on a rug. And then this is the same dog five years later that he beat and probably killed in front of me.

[Interviewer]

You never saw the dog again?

[Clark Fedrix]

No. And a lady, a female guard who worked with him at the jail, told me how Dennis came in one day all distraught that his beloved coonhound dog, Duke, died. And we all gave him hugs and tears, and we all loved dogs. We were all dog people. And she goes, I am horrified to think that's because of what he did in front of you, that he killed Duke.

[Interviewer]

It says in your book that you felt guilty over what happened to the.

[Clark Fedrix]

Dog is that he only. I felt he only did that to Duke because of my cries and screams. And if I hadn't cried and screamed during the r. P. E. That what he did to Duke wouldn't have happened.

[Interviewer]

Do you still feel that way, or.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah. I mean, he might have had that planned. Well, he couldn't determine if Duke was gonna cry or not. Like I said, with a predator, you never know. But, yeah, I still feel. I still feel guilty for Duke.

[Interviewer]

Do you feel like Duke had more humanity than Dennis in that moment?

[Clark Fedrix]

I feel Duke and I were the only two in that room who had humanity. And that's saying a lot since Duke's a dog. Dennis, I feel, lost his humanity a long time ago. As soon as you. As soon as you dedicate your life to hunting children and them, you really can't say you have humanity. That's pure evil to me. If you're going to define what the devil is, the devil is really the guy with a smile on his face who's charismatic, outgoing, friendly, charming, who everybody loves, who's involved in all these organizations, who's on the historical board, but who's only doing those things to fool people of his true nature. What changed after that day? My life was forever altered after that day. My whole trajectory in life Changed that day, nothing would be the same. I would tell myself that talking about what just happened would be reliving it. And we were never going to do that. We could just bury this down deep inside and go about our life. I convinced myself that that's what I could do. I led the most exhausting life because I would crank on a smile to the world. And inside I was completely broken and destroyed. And I went through that way my whole life until I couldn't keep it up any longer.

[Interviewer]

How many years passed since you're 12? And then the day that you see Dennis pegg at quickcheck.

[Clark Fedrix]

I was 45 when I saw him at the quick check. So you're talking 33 years.

[Interviewer]

33 years. He's probably still hunting kids.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yes.

[Interviewer]

And then there is a day that comes where you effectively hunt the hunter. You step into quick check. What happens there? It's like a gas station. It's a convenience store.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah. This one was just a convenience store. They have gas stations now, They're a lot larger. But this was just a convenience store in a little like 4 store mall. I'm getting a coffee. I'm at the coffee island making a coffee. The front door opens. I think it had a bell on it. So it made me look up. And I look up and I look into Dennis pegg's eyes. He sees me and he yells out to me, hey, how are you, buddy? And I instantly start going into a panic attack. I can tell just by the way he said, hey, buddy, you know that he's going to come over to me. I had seen Dennis around, around our town over those 33 years. You know, I recall once in a bar after college, me and my buddies were in a bar and as soon as we ordered a beer, I get a pat on my shoulder and it's Dennis pegg. And I chug my beer and I tell my buddies, we're going. There's no, no remorse, no shame, no guilt. Yeah, the predators, yeah, they don't ever show that. So. So I had seen him around town, but it had been probably 10 years since I saw him. And what was different this time in that quick check, which completely unraveled me, was that he had a young boy by his side, probably close to the age he met. And that young boy called him the same nickname Dennis used to make me call him. And I heard that nickname and I saw that young boy and I just. It just ripped open everything for those 33 years that I told myself I could bury down and go about my life. When he would touch me, I would freeze. I would stiffen like a board. And I felt my muscles, like it's like a paralysis. And I felt that coming on me, and I felt it hard to breathe. And the thoughts in my mind, just like your mind starts swirling where you can't even think. And I'm like, I gotta get out of here before I completely freeze. And this guy, like, grabs me and I just left my coffee and whatever stuff I had on the island there. And I ran out past him. We sort of shoulder bumped a little, and he's like, where are you going? Where you going, buddy? Come here. And I ran out and I hopped in my truck and I sped out of the parking lot and I went down the road and my life unraveled, just. Just completely unraveled.

[Interviewer]

Do you think you saw yourself in the little boy? Is that. Or you just felt protective of the little boy? Did you?

[Clark Fedrix]

I couldn't get out of my mind over the next months, that boy and wondering, what part of the grooming process is he? Is he being shown Polaroid pictures? Is he having beers in his truck? Is he at the wrestling stage? Is he teaching his buddy how to shoot right in the woods by lying there with blood on, fake blood on him, and doing the death rattle in his bed? You know, I. It haunted me. I. I couldn't even work any longer. Like, I was in business with my brother. We had tire automotive center. And I walked out one day and I just couldn't go to work anymore. I was having to drink before work just to. Just to go into work, you know, instead of filling my coffee mug with coffee, I was so out of sorts. I'm filling it with alcohol and I'm doing other drugs, pain. So I walked out of the business with my brother. And now I've got free time on my hand, which is never good when you have trauma. And I've got Dennis Pegg in the forefront of my mind. I've got that little boy in the forefront of my mind. And I had zero coping skills throughout my whole life. I, you know, like mindfulness, like all these foreign terms. I never incorporated it. You know, I just dove headfirst into drugs and alcohol, like, literally around the clock. Just one drug on its own wasn't enough. So I'm just taking any drug I can get to try to numb myself, to try to block the thoughts from.

[Interviewer]

You start unraveling after quick check. But then there's a guy that you see smirking. Who is this guy? You see him smirking on tv what happens?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah, I was in bad shape. You know, I wasn't sleeping much because of all the pain I'm doing. And I. I put on my TV and it's Jerry Sandusky, the start of his molestation trial. Jerry Sandusky, he was one of the coaches at Penn State University, and he was running a football camp for young boys. And over the course of years, decade plus, molesting boys at his football camp. He was finally facing trial for that. And his trial was starting on June 12th of 2012. And I saw him on the news get out of his lawyer's car and smirking and buttoning his coat jacket. I don't know what else to say. And I just started yelling curses at my TV and spitting on my bedroom floor because I saw Dennis Pegg as him. I felt Dennis Pegg was never going to face justice.

[Interviewer]

It's like a similar smirk that they have. Is it?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah. You know, they can never let their guard down. They'll never apologize to you. Like, victims always reach out to me and say, I want to. I want to go confront my abuser. And I'm just like, don't they. You'll. You're going to get reabused because they'll never give you the answer you want to hear. It's not worth your time. And so. So they keep that air about them. Dennis Peg in that. That deli, like, calls out to me like, we're best friends. I'm a victim of his, like, what do you do? Like. And Sandusky's getting out smirking as he's trial starting. And that just. That just infuriated me. I spent the rest of the day out with. With a couple friends drinking and me sneaking drugs. You know, I gotta go out, make a phone call, you know, in my truck. I'll be right back. So. And I'd go out and do coke and papa's ax. And I had someone. I stopped at an Italian restaurant on the way home that night. I was meeting a buddy at my house who I had lent money to. And he was gonna power wash the cedar siding of my house and stain it as repayment. So I was meeting him at home, but I stopped at this Italian restaurant, and there was a guy in there who burned me on a business deal, motorcycle deal. I took out a $33,000 loan to have him build me this custom motorcycle. And he took the money, my money and a couple other people's money, and closed up shop in the middle of the night, then left town and. And all of a Sudden, here he was in this Italian restaurant. So I went up to him and had words with him, and he was with his family. So I said, out of respect for your family, you know, I'm not gonna take this any further, but, you know, you gotta pay me, you know? And he just told me to get lost, you know? So I get home and I tell my buddy about seeing that guy. And, you know, we unloaded the equipment first, and we're having a glass of wine at the kitchen table, and my. My buddy goes to me, that guy's got to be number one on your hit list. And it's been 33 years since I was, you know, and I've never told anyone. And for whatever reason, I couldn't stop the words coming out of my mouth. I just said, actually, he's number two on my hit list, the piece of garbage who me as a young boy is number one. And there it's out for the first time. The air was, like, heavy. Like, time stopped. The clock stopped on the wall, and we're just like, you and I are sitting across from each other on a table, and we're just staring at each other. And he's like, are you for real, or are you messing with me?

[Interviewer]

So this is the first time in 30 years that you tell anyone?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah, yeah. To be exact, 33 years. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

You tell Bob. It just happens. You don't even decide.

[Clark Fedrix]

It's not like, yeah, it was. It just came out before I could even, like, stop my mouth from speaking, you know, I was just so tired and exhausted and beaten down from drugs, and seeing that other guy inflamed me at the Italian restaurant, and just. It just came flying out.

[Interviewer]

Who is the first to talk? You or Bob?

[Clark Fedrix]

Bob's, as I recall, is the first to say, like, are you for real? You know, and I'm like, yeah, I'm for real. And then he's like, who is he? I'm like, he was my boy Scout leader. And, like, where did happen? When did happen? You know? So I'm just saying, you know, and he's like, where does he live? And I'm like, you know, he lives, like, two miles from here. And I think at that point, I said to him, you know what? It's time to go confront this guy. You know, ever since seeing him with that boy and that quick check have just been haunted. And I'm like, it's time to go confront him now. Dennis. Dennis. Peg. He had retired from the sheriff's department, but he was still the firearms instructor. Every. Everybody in law enforcement has to get recertified with their handgun every year. And he was the firearms instructor for two counties, Sussex and Morris. So every cop, every sheriff's officer had to go to him to get recertified. So the guy was a complete gun nut. And I told Bob that, and I said, we ought to take something with us. I gave Bob a steak knife and I went under my bed to where I kept that boy scout hunting knife. He taught me how to sharpen, and I grabbed that. Now, Stephanie, basically this was a suicide mission. You know, a steak knife, a hunting knife against a guy who had 33 guns in his house. Shotguns, rifles, and over a dozen handguns. If you were doing what he was doing for 45 years, you would think he would have a gun at the ready under every table, on every armrest, on every couch cushion. You would think, like, my time, you know, I'm rolling, I'm rolling the dice here. 45 years in, I better, I better be ready. So it should have been a suicide mission when I went there. What did Bob say when you made that suggestion? I just handed him the knife and I said, I'm going to go get my hunting knife. And that was pretty much it. It wasn't, you know, it wasn't like a long, drawn out thing where we're crossing our T's and dotting our eyes and this is how this is going to happen, and that's how that's going to happen. It was just like, I'm like, let me just go confront this piece of garbage, you know, and we'll take these with us.

[Interviewer]

And it's a six inch hunting knife, right?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Was that the biggest knife you had, or was it more so poetic justice because he was teaching you to sharpen that specific knife? Or you had like, no thoughts. You're like, let me just grab a knife.

[Clark Fedrix]

I would think it's subconscious poetic justice, you know, like, take this with you, you know.

[Interviewer]

So you have no plan, just a knife. You guys drive to Dennis's house. At what point are you like, maybe this is not a good plan?

[Clark Fedrix]

No, just like I said, he had a long driveway. Yeah. It had a 90 degree turn in it. Bob pulled up there and at the 90 degree turn, stopped, went up the driveway. His front door was open, and there he is sitting like he had a storm door. It's a summer night, so the storm doors shut. I mentioned earlier, you know, like the definition of a devil. Well, to me, it looked like the devil sitting in his lair. That's all I saw. But seeing him, this is the first time I'm back at that house in 33 years since what happened with me and the dog. I never went back to the house. And I instantly started going to that panic attack again. Just. Just breathing got real hard, and I feel like rigamortis in my muscles. And before I. I completely froze, I walked up to his door, that storm door, and ripped it open, broke the hinge. And I'm standing in his doorway. It's 9, 30, quarter to 10 at night. And there's somebody you r ped in your doorway who just ripped open your door. And he casually looks over his shoulder at me and goes, hey, how are you? And it just seemed like the most incredulous thing to say in that moment. But again, they can never let their guard down like a normal person would. Like, get on their hands and knees and start praying like, oh, my God, I wronged you. I'm so sorry. I know why you're here. Please forgive me. I'm sick. I need help. Come in, let's talk. No, no.

[Interviewer]

Do you think if he did that, anything would be different.

[Clark Fedrix]

If someone's down on their hands and knees praying to you, praying at you, begging for forgiveness? I would think so, yeah.

[Interviewer]

So he just says, hey, how are you? What happens next?

[Clark Fedrix]

We all have two faces. The face we show the world and the face behind closed doors. I've been showing the world that one face, and no one for 33 years has seen the face behind closed doors. Dennis is now going to see my other face. The face filled with rage, the face filled with hate, the face filled with anger. And I said, hey, how am I? Let me show you how the hell I am. And I raced across this room. He stood up and a violent struggle started. I started slashing at him with the knife. He started punching me. A violent, bloody brawl ensued. At one point, he connected with a. You know, he's still this monster hulking guy. And he connects with a square shot to my jaw. And as I'm falling down, I grab his shirt to keep from falling down. And I bring the knife down. And that's when I'm holding his shirt, and that's where it goes straight through and straight out and in. In into his skin just a little. We continue going at it, and, I mean, we're talking minutes here. It's not. It's not like a long, drawn out thing, you know, maybe three, four minutes, two minutes. Three minutes. It was quick. And he slips in the blood, and he falls down, and it's a Mix of our blood, you know, like I'm gushing blood now and he's up against the wall. I leaned down in front of him, I got eye to eye with him and I said, it's not so fun little boys now, is it, Dennis? And I slit his throat. And Bob was standing in the doorway wide eyed. And I said, go get the van and bring it up because I had one more thing I wanted to do. I walked over to the bedroom, He r ped me in and I spit on the bed. The answer to everyone's question is, did this solve everything? No, it didn't solve everything. You don't heal from trauma by adding more trauma. You don't heal from sexual abuse by murdering someone. It's not how you heal. I stopped the predator from ever harming another young boy. 45 years was long enough of raping young boys. It should never have came to that. It would be uncovered that multiple boys over the years had come forward and filed lawsuits against him and he got out from every one of them. But I did what I did. And I knew walking out of his house that night that my life was over. You can't have the wound I have and just show up at a hospital and be like, I was cutting a steak and drove a 6 inch hunting knife through my hand and severed all ligaments and tendons. I need help.

[Interviewer]

Did you think about doing that though?

[Clark Fedrix]

I just, I knew it wasn't an option. Like, you know, like I just knew things were never going to be the same again.

[Interviewer]

So at no point during this altercation, and I know minutes are brief, but at no point he doesn't apologize?

[Clark Fedrix]

No. There was just, the only words he said was, hey, how are you? And throughout the whole attack, he made like a high pitched squeal. He never uttered a word like, stop, let's talk, don't do this. Nothing. There was no words. Just a high pitched squeal like a, like a wounded animal almost. Not one other word other than that initial thing when I was standing in his doorway.

[Interviewer]

Did you feel like you're in control of your movements at that time or did you feel like you're watching from the outside in or you're just like on autopilot? What is that?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah, I definitely wasn't in control of my movement or any. It was like something had taken over my body. And man, would I. Would I be honest if I said I had a out of body experience during that? No, I wouldn't be honest. But it was like that. It was like, it was like looking at, at this real going on and, and just like that's how I, when I look back at it, like, I just, I can't believe what happened. I can't believe that I got to that point of brokenness. To go do that and potentially flush my whole life away just from never healing from trauma. It's keeping the secret and not addressing it and not trying to grow from it or heal from it or learn from it or do anything other than let it just poison my system for decades. And that's what it did. And that's the part that I look back on now and I just like, man, I probably would have died of a drug overdose and everybody would have been like, oh my God, Clark, Clark had a great education and he was so popular and what, what did he go die of a drug overdose from? I mean, that's where my life was head.

[Interviewer]

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[Clark Fedrix]

Are you saying that even when you killed Dennis, you didn't even feel a moment of relief? No, there was no relief because of the wound I had, because of how gory and horrific killing someone was. Again, I don't view Dennis as having humanity. But you're still. It hurts your soul to kill somebody. It's not therapeutic in any way. It's not healing. Like, it damages your psyche. It damages your soul. It hurts. And I had to be completely broken to go do that.

[Interviewer]

Do you have nightmares about it or.

[Clark Fedrix]

No.

[Interviewer]

You never think about it?

[Clark Fedrix]

No. No, I don't. I don't. Give him again. If. If I killed an innocent person, that would haunt me. If I killed a human, that would haunt me. I don't view Dennis as an innocent person or a human. Why did you walk to the bedroom? That was to go spit on the bed. He r ed me in.

[Interviewer]

At what point were you like, I'm gonna spit on this bed? Was it just like.

[Clark Fedrix]

I don't know what came over me. Like, you know, again, it's not like Bob and I sat at the kitchen table, like, across from each other, like you and I are. And I said, yeah, after I do this, this, this, and this, then in my bloody footprints, I'm gonna walk to the bed. He spit me out or me on a spit on the bed, you know, so, like, I don't know what possessed me to go do that. It's something to just bring things full circle and to a closure. I needed to do that.

[Interviewer]

Did it bring closure?

[Clark Fedrix]

I thought it. I thought it brought complete closure, like, to my life and his. Like, there was two deaths that day. The life I had been living up to that point. I could never go back to living the way I was. And I literally thought, I forfeit the rest of my life. I'll either kill myself or spend the rest of my life in prison. I forfeited any healthy, happy life to just put an end to his reign of terror. That's what I thought.

[Interviewer]

It's interesting because, like, when I'm reading your memoir and going through that moment, because, I mean, the way that it's written, I feel like I'm there. I'm obviously not accepting, experiencing, like, the depth of emotions, but it feels very. I'm there with you. It almost feels therapeutic when you spin on his bed. And it's, like, kind of interesting because I know you don't advocate for people to do and follow in those steps, but it just. I guess it was relief for the reader.

[Clark Fedrix]

There's some sort of poetic justice in doing that.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah. I think if everybody. And it's a lot of It's a lot of everybody's. If they could spit on the bed they were raped in, they would want to do it.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. You have a hole in your hand. You drive home and you say, you need to tell your mom. What is the thinking behind that? You're telling your mom because you don't know what's going to happen next.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah. My mom had just come up from Florida. Welcome home, Mom. Oh, man. And I called my best friend at the time and the girl I was dating and asked them to come over because I. I just. My life's over, Steph. You know, like, I. Am I gonna kill myself after this, or am I gonna spend life in prison? It's. It's one of those two things. So let me say goodbye to my buddy. Let me say goodbye to my girlfriend, and let me get my mother up and say goodbye to her. Cause this isn't gonna turn out good.

[Interviewer]

And your mom is. She's 80. How old was she at the time?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah, like 81 maybe.

[Interviewer]

And so your plan is, I'm gonna wake my mom up, tell her goodbye. But your mom's plan is I'm gonna clean up the blood and we're gonna run. We're gonna get away with murder together.

[Clark Fedrix]

Mom's like, we're getting away with murder. She was, man. I guess it's good to laugh about it now, right?

[Interviewer]

So she wakes up and you tell her what happened. You still don't tell her.

[Clark Fedrix]

The thing is, I couldn't even tell her then that I was by Dennis. I still couldn't. I couldn't bring it out. And she was, like, dumbfounded. Why would you go do this? Why? And I said, to avenge a lot of other kids in this town. And she goes still, why you? Why are you the avenger? Why? I don't get it. Why? And I couldn't tell her for. You know, for raping me, too, Mom. I just. I still couldn't say it, even though I told it to my buddy earlier. She helped me upstairs. I. I wrapped my hand in duct tape, which fixes everything. So I wrapped it with. With paper towel and duct tape and went to. Took a couple Xanax and went to bed. And my mother went downstairs and started scrubbing the floors all night long to get the blood up.

[Interviewer]

And so she's like, we're going on the run, but you wake up and the cops are surrounding.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She told my. My sister that she was going to take me and we were gonna go on the run.

[Interviewer]

I know. It says in the Book. You guys are thinking the end of the world, which is Florida, because you're gonna go to Florida. No, I like the plan. I think your mom is really adorable. I mean, there is. I was just so fascinated by your mother because, you know, she's cleaning up the blood. She's ready to go Bonnie and Clyde with you. And then the cops come the next morning. They've got on the loudspeakers. They're saying, clark, come out. And she's like, no, the neighbors are gonna hear. Your mom is so fascinating.

[Clark Fedrix]

She said to one of the troopers, as I was still in my bedroom, what are the neighbors gonna think? He's like, ma', am, I really don't give a damn what the neighbors think.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my gosh. Okay, so you see the cops outside.

[Clark Fedrix]

So they took her out. Like, they took her out of the house.

[Interviewer]

And they're like. You look out the window and they're just, like, trying to be sneaky. Trying to.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah, they're. They're. Like I said, they're behind. They're hiding behind trees. You know, they don't know what's inside, what I have, if I'm loaded up with a AR15 or what my mental state is. You know, they've got a dead body.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Clark Fedrix]

So they're. They're. Every one of them has their gun drawn. Everyone's taking, you know, some sort of protection. There's this big rock to the left of the yard, and there's trees, and there's the shed out back, and they're. They're just all behind everything. And then they're behind their. Their cars lining the street. And. And I. I just couldn't believe it. I was lying in bed, like, how are we going to get out of this? Like, how are we gonna get out of this? And, like, there's gotta be. There's gotta be a way out of this. And before I could even possibly think of any way out of this, the cops are there. And I'm just in. Your stomach just drops, and you're just like, it's over, bro. It's. It's. It's over. And all I could think, you know, they ordered me out of the house over a bullhorn. And as I walked to that front door, I just called out to God, let one of these guys kill me when I step out, like, it's over. It's over. God, I don't want to do life in prison. Just take me now and let him shoot me. When I walk out. And I stepped out that front door with my State police shirt on that I put on, and. And I put my arms out to the side, and I just sort of tilted my head back, and I just waited for the crack of a gun. And it never came. And instead, I was ordered off my porch, down to her front lawn, spread eagle, handcuffed and taken away.

[Interviewer]

Were you disappointed when you didn't hear a shot go off?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah. Yeah, because in that. In that. That ride to the police barracks was like, the longest ride of my life. And I'm just like, man, one of these guys couldn't kill me, put me out of my misery, like, oh, I'll have to find a way in prison to do it. I'll have to off to take care of this myself.

[Interviewer]

You killed a cop. You're arrested by a bunch of cops. You're about to go to the jail that that cop worked at.

[Clark Fedrix]

Worked at.

[Interviewer]

Things are not looking good. Understatement of the year. Yeah, but there are some cops, some detectives who seem to. They give you some sage advice in that weird moment, what happens there? Like, what was the energy? Like? Are all the arresting officers. Do you feel, like, hatred dripping off of them because you killed a cop, or do they. Do you not even notice what their energy is? What is that dynamic?

[Clark Fedrix]

Well, I'm thinking like, I'm public enemy number one amongst law enforcement. I just killed one of their own. And yet at the state police barracks, this lieutenant Howie Ryan comes in and goes, I have to apologize to you. And I'm like. I'm like, what are you apologizing to me for? And he's like, I've heard rumors about Dennis Pegg for a long time. And he goes, I want to apologize to you for never stopping him. He goes, I can't arrest somebody on rumors. I need victims. I need cold, hard facts. And I had neither of those. And I apologize to you. And at first, Steph, I felt. And then he left the room, and I felt, wow, that's. That's pretty cool. And then I'm like. Just started fuming. I'm like, even the state police knew. Everybody knew about Dennis Peck and young boys. Everybody's got a story. The state police just admitted they knew. And yet I'm the one who just had to flush his life away and look at life in prison to stop him. And they knew. And then. So I went from feeling good for a second, getting really pissed off for another second, and I'm like, what's it matter? Anyway? I'm done. I'm done. When that cop, Howie Ryan, came back in the room. He could see that I had, like, mailed it in. He. He said, I just. I could tell you were. You were. You were done. And he goes, something moved in me that even though you thought you were done, I didn't think you were done. And he said, look, I've got your DNA all over that crime scene. He was the. He was in charge of the CSI team that worked Peg's house. He's like, your blood's everywhere. He goes, this isn't a whodunit. He goes, but that doesn't necessarily mean your life's over. My detectives and detectives from the prosecutor's office are in another room waiting to interrogate you. He goes, if you go in that room and open up your mouth, you could potentially destroy the rest of your life. He goes, I'm telling you right now, go in there, exercise your fifth amendment right, Request a lawyer and keep your mouth shut. Stay quiet. And I said to him, but I don't have a lawyer. And he goes, I'm gonna take care of that for you. He goes, I'm gonna get you a lawyer. And he left the room, and on his cell phone, he called one of the big lawyers in our county and said, I need you to send over fax over to state police barracks a retainer for somebody, like, immediately. And the lawyer said, who is he and what did he do? And he goes, clark Frederick's murder. And he goes, okay, then. And had a thing over in a couple minutes.

[Interviewer]

So he tells you not to talk. Do you listen to him?

[Clark Fedrix]

I do.

[Interviewer]

Right when you get arrested, it seems like the whole town is divided. A lot of people feel like you did this for very nefarious reasons. Other people start hearing what Dennis has been doing around town. Do you feel like at any point. Point where they're just dividing opinions was. Did it feel like everybody had their own thought about what the reason the motive was?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah, there were some vocal people on his side who were pro. Dennis, who just, like, referred to me as a drunk drug addict who just killed a great man, you know, Like. Like, yeah, I just woke up one day and said, dennis Pegg, I'm gonna go kill you for no reason. Before it, like, really started coming out about what happened, you know, because, yeah, the little old ladies on the historical society that worked with him were like, he was such a sweet man. You know, the mayor in store at the time was like, oh, he was a giant of a human being, you know, And. And then people like Howie Ryan are like, no, I knew all about rumors about this Guy, your audience is going to have to get the book, because there's a line from Howie Ryan in the book to the prosecutor. It's one of the greatest lines you will ever hear. I don't want to give it away. It's such a. It's the most powerful line you will ever read said by him.

[Interviewer]

We will put the page number so you guys can go get it.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

And I will tell you what pitch.

[Clark Fedrix]

Because I know you know exactly what I'm talking about.

[Interviewer]

I know exactly what.

[Clark Fedrix]

That was a powerful line, right? No, that was unbelievable line.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

At that point, once you've been arrested, you're facing first degree murder charge initially. So you're facing life in prison.

[Clark Fedrix]

Life in prison.

[Interviewer]

And you have an attorney. And they're saying, have a little hope, but not too much, hopefully.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah. You know, I. And it's funny that the. The lawyer, Howie Ryan, at the barracks called George Daggett, who sent the retainer over. I never even interviewed him at the jail as one of my lawyers. I don't know why, but I interviewed a bunch of other lawyers, and, you know, one lawyer just wanted to get me bailed out. We'll get you bailed out of here in three days. Like, I'm like, all right. And then this other lawyer came in all flashy with his, you know, gold jewelry, Rolex watch, and he's listing all these cases he's worked, and I knew. I knew the cases, and he lost them all. But in. In my head, I'm like, but you lost all those, you know, like. And then this. This guy, Dan Perez came in. He was. He just looked like a really good guy, you know, like, really down to earth. And he came in and he said, I think we can have a valid defense for this. I was like, really? He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes. He goes, you know, it's not going to be easy, but I don't think your life is over. I was like, really? I'm like, you're hired.

[Interviewer]

During that time, Dennis had a security deposit box that the police go through.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

And they find a bunch of letters.

[Clark Fedrix]

Right.

[Interviewer]

That he wrote 10 years before he died.

[Clark Fedrix]

Correct. And when he was in his young to mid-50s, healthy.

[Interviewer]

They all have some variation of pray for me. I hope I didn't disappoint you. Forgive me for any failings. Do you think some of these letters are to victims?

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah. Yep. And, like, they're creepy. There's something really creepy about them. Like, weird. And the prosecutor told me after the fact that he thinks there was 14 of them in there. That 13 were probably victims. Would you ever think like right now to like write letters to people in case you die? He was 50 something years old. Like, like, what would make you do that?

[Interviewer]

And he does keep writing interestingly. Like, if I go to heaven, pray for me. But if you're already dead, I don't know what exactly he's asking for in prayer.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Is it to get to heaven? It's weird.

[Clark Fedrix]

Yeah. This is a. I read those and it just like left me feeling yucky. And then if you assume that they're two victims, like, I tried my best. I thought we were family. Forgive me for shortcomings. What are your shortcomings?

[Interviewer]

How many victims do you think that he had?

[Clark Fedrix]

My buddy's wife is the sheriff's secretary and she sat in on every meeting with the sheriff in the early days and they estimate well over 100.

[Interviewer]

One of the other victims is very close to you. Family relation. Who was that?

[Clark Fedrix]

My brother. My arrest opened up my brother's Pandora's box. You know, like seeing. Seeing that boy in that deli open my box up. My arrest opened my brother's box up. And my brother wasn't ready to face it. He wasn't ready to handle it, didn't want to deal with it. You know, like. Like I told myself at 12, we're just going to bury this and go about our life. Well, that's what my brother had done his whole life. And everyone urged him to get help, to see a therapist. And my brother did. What I did, was to numb himself. And I found him dead on our kitchen floor a couple years ago from drinking himself to death.

[Interviewer]

This is going to be a two part interview. This is part one. In part two, we're going to ask Clark about how and why the FBI came to him to warn him that someone put a hit out on his life. He has. I mean, there's his entire journey, or I guess more so fight in prison trying to get through it while he's surrounded by criminals who are accused of doing the very thing that Dennis Pegg did, which is harm children. There are letters that Dennis Pegg left his presumed victims in his safety deposit box. And how someone very close to is killed by Dennis Pegg after Clark gets out of prison. Like, how does that even happen? We are going to go through all of that in part two. Also, how the hell does Clark get out of prison when he's facing a first degree murder charge and life in prison? That will all be asked in part two. But in the meantime, if you feel like you can't wait for those answers, which same you can get Clark's memoir. It's probably the most intense memoir that I've ever read and I've read copious amounts of memoirs before. There are just so many aspects, aspects of his story that aren't included in our episodes that you can find in depth in his book. I think I finished the whole book the first time around in like four hours. It was one of my quickest reads. There's something about it where I don't know how Clark does this, but every time you catch yourself feeling like, okay, there's a black hole that we've now went into, there's no way out of it. You get out and then there's just like another black hole. And it is like the most intense emotional journey that I have ever been on. You can also find Clark on his social media accounts and his own podcasts, which I will link below. But with that being said, that is part one of the two part series of the Story of Clark Fedrix and I will see you in Part two. It's Wednesday. Adams, I see you're trying to distract yourself from your own banal thoughts. Let me help. Here's a recording thing made of my latest root Canal Wednesday. Season 2 is now playing only on Netflix.

[Clark Fedrix]

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