Comfortably Smug (3:04)

Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. Keep the faith, hold the line and own the Lids.

Host/Moderator (3:11)

It's time for our main event,

Ashbrook (3:17)

Fun Time Friday. Welcome back to the Ruthless Friday program. It is going to be a fun time because it is hack madness. We've got this in this very show where you will have the selection show you want to do. A quick reminder, smug, of everybody who hasn't experienced hack madness.

Comfortably Smug (3:37)

So this is the thing. It's probably the most fun you'll have all year. This tradition started over five years ago.

Ashbrook (3:45)

Yeah, it did.

Comfortably Smug (3:46)

At this point, it became kind of like just the best conservative powwow online, where we created. It's march madness. It's 64, 65. There's a playing game of the worst liberal hacks, and we put them head to head. And you, dear listener, and everyone on X will vote who are the worst liberal hacks in a tournament to hold them accountable. And it's amazing because of, over the years, the number of angry messages I get from the journos and, and whoever is named and shamed on this list, because that's what this is about. It's fun, but it's about accountability.

Ashbrook (4:22)

Yeah.

Comfortably Smug (4:23)

And everyone has the best time voting for this. It's become an annual tradition. It's like an unofficial holiday in March.

Ashbrook (4:30)

It is.

Scott Jennings (4:31)

And for listeners and viewers, you also get to participate in it. You don't just vote, you can also submit your bracket. So stick tuned for us to go through the selection show because you're going to find out where you can submit your own bracket and play along with all of us.

Host/Moderator (4:44)

There are a lot of other shows, a lot of other media outlets who have tried, tried to replicate what we have done here, but nobody has ever been able to top it because this is the place where you go to find the fun.

Comfortably Smug (4:56)

And I'm going to call them out by name. So the Pod Bros tried doing, for one year, March badness.

Ashbrook (5:01)

Oh, yeah.

Comfortably Smug (5:02)

Which is the lamest shit ever. And they got like four votes per bracket because their audience is all, you know, they've got all this venture capital money that tried propping them up, but no one cares about what they do.

Ashbrook (5:14)

That's my advertising likes.

Comfortably Smug (5:17)

That's it. And no one cared. And there are a bunch of losers. And when you have your house on Architectural Digest like Favreau did, everyone realizes you're not a progressive. You're just trying to cash in on that audience. And so to say, people have tried to replicate what we have. There is no substitute for March.

Ashbrook (5:36)

You don't think badness, Badness.

Comfortably Smug (5:39)

Pathetic.

Ashbrook (5:40)

Yeah, it's ridiculous. Hack madness is a thing and congratulations to Joey Bracketts over at Fox News. He's going to enter the most important phase of his year, which is the original Bracketologist.

Host/Moderator (5:52)

He's really the Adam Schefter of this craft. He is, you know what I mean? Like, this guy covers it start to finish and has for years and understands this in a way that few others would.

Ashbrook (6:03)

Yeah, yeah, 100%. But we're going to give you a little tapper because I think there are some things that have happened over the last few weeks that just put a finer point on the decision making that voters will ultimately have in the 2026 election. It starts out with the fact that Democrats are pretty weird.

Comfortably Smug (6:23)

It becomes very clear, like real weird.

Ashbrook (6:26)

And you have the whole Abby Spamberger situation where they're like, no, I'm normal. And then they get into office and they're like, wow, that's weird. Like taxing dog walkers and mattresses seems like a strange decision. So you have to kind of sort through that. And look, anytime you're an incumbent party in power, as Donald Trump and Republicans are, there's dissatisfaction with everything. Like nobody's ever satisfied with their lot in life. Like you want more. You want everybody to accomplish everything they can do there checks and balances and the whole government. There's a level of enthusiasm in midterm election that is important about turnout and everything else. But the opposition is not irrelevant and what it is, what it is the Democrats are presenting. Fellas. Oh boy, oh boy. For our listeners. Well, let's just start with Talrico, who if you haven't spent any time actually examining this guy, my goodness, it's all over online. But here's the latest clip one we

Abby Phillips (7:34)

have, I think heard more and more issues of animal welfare. I think not just because it's the right thing to do and the moral thing to do, but also it's, as all of you know, necessary to fight climate change. It is now existential that we try to reduce our meat consumption and that we try to respect animals in all aspects of society. And so I, I am proud to say that our campaign has officially become a non meat campaign. So we have, we are buying vegan products from, from our local vegan businesses. Some of you may know big nonnas, they, they were little known as and then they opened up brick and mortar, some of their big nonnas. But we just got our pizza from there today. And so the point is that I think all of us, not just policymakers, but, but everyone has to take personal responsibility in this effort, okay?

Host/Moderator (8:26)

Okay.

Ashbrook (8:27)

All right. So in case it wasn't enough free wall to get his biblical interpretation that why abortion is great on demand or that Jesus is trans, which he's also done. Now he's a non meat guy because they contribute to climate change. This is the mainstream alternative the Democrats have fielded.

Scott Jennings (8:51)

This is the regular guy who's going to win Texas.

Ashbrook (8:54)

Just a regular Joe. He's like one of us. He likes God, ladies and gentlemen. He talks about God, so he's just

Host/Moderator (9:01)

one of us, but he doesn't like meat. He's made that very clear in that statement. Wolf, can we put that just like a screenshot of his presentation back up? We don't need to look at the video, but I just wonder if the tufted grain leather behind him, does that fit with the vegan theme? He was going with the tufted leather.

Scott Jennings (9:22)

I just appreciate he's still wearing a mask. This is in 2022. Covid was definitely over in Texas, I can tell you that.

Ashbrook (9:31)

Well, I'm not sure it ever started in Texas, but it certainly did for people like James Talarico, who decided to campaign fully masked. Talk about how well meat's bad.

Comfortably Smug (9:43)

So I'm going to go even further. I'm going to make James Talarico my hobby horse this cycle. And also North Carolina. We need to win the North Carolina Senate seat. My hometown of we need to show up and win North Carolina. But James Talarico is such a fraud because everyone read between the lines. He's very litigious. And Chuck Schumer's protecting his little baby boy out there in Texas. I think James Talrico likes the meat.

Host/Moderator (10:07)

Oh, you think he's being disingenuous?

Comfortably Smug (10:11)

I think he's scared to admit to stand up to the vegans that he likes the meat.

Host/Moderator (10:17)

So he's telling a lie. Well, no, there's living a lie.

Comfortably Smug (10:19)

He's a liar and he's living a lie. I think Talarico loves the meat. I think he's getting enough of it. But he feels bad about it and he thinks he can't get elected if he tells everyone that he loves the meat. No, smug Chuck Schumer is willing to sue us if we tell the truth about Talrico.

Scott Jennings (10:33)

Evidence. There's evidence. Support this tall. Rico put up a tweet of him eating one of those big dinosaur beef ribs.

Comfortably Smug (10:40)

Yeah. About how much he loves meat. I think Talrico loves eating the meat and he loves the bone. I think it's very clear. And his team and Chuck Schumer are very litigious. If we were to tell you guys about how much he loves the meat and filling his mouth with the bones. He's a big fan of that kind of thing. And I welcome our audience to do a search on your favorite search engine or your favorite social media site, and you'll find a lot of things that I think are worthwhile bringing up. But his team is very litigious. It's almost like they're trying to live a lie. Like Talrico, who I believe loves the meat.

Host/Moderator (11:20)

Well, he claims to be vegan.

Ashbrook (11:21)

Well, he claims to be vegan. And of course, he's pledged a vegan

Host/Moderator (11:25)

campaign, but he's put out plenty of messages indicating that he is vegan.

Ashbrook (11:32)

Our very own comfortably smug has said he loves the meat.

Comfortably Smug (11:36)

Yeah, I'll stand by that.

Ashbrook (11:38)

We will find out in due time, because Senate races, as you know, expose it.

Comfortably Smug (11:43)

It's a funny thing. The truth comes out.

Ashbrook (11:45)

It is very, very funny. All right, so he's not alone. By the way, there's a New York Post article about a Dem challenger in the Texas house that. Well, he starred in his own bizarre music video. And he had an interesting role there, fellas. You know, I mean, look, you know, you think of, like, Courteney Cox when she first showed up in a Bruce Spring scene, of course, the Star Friends, the massive show. And, like, she became an A list. And she got her start in a music video where she was dancing with Bruce Springsteen. And, like, you know, it happens with people. They get the early start in a music video or whatever. But it does matter what role you.

Scott Jennings (12:26)

Right, like backup dancer, you know, love interest.

Ashbrook (12:30)

Yeah. This fella, he played a pervert. No.

Comfortably Smug (12:33)

Yeah, that was the role.

Ashbrook (12:34)

They're like, hey, you've got a pervert to play. Clip two.

Comfortably Smug (12:39)

Oh, my God.

Host/Moderator (12:42)

Wait, what is this?

Comfortably Smug (12:44)

What? Oh, my God. No. Oh, my God.

Ashbrook (12:48)

Dude.

Comfortably Smug (12:53)

What? No,

Host/Moderator (12:59)

wait. This guy's running for Congress.

Comfortably Smug (13:03)

Oh, yeah.

Ashbrook (13:05)

So, Tejano singer Bobby Polito won the Democratic primary earlier this month in the state's 15th congressional district as a moderate in the race who's taken nearly $1 million in contributions. The Blue Dog Coalition. That's the moderate Democrat. Remember, folks, no such thing as a matter of Democrat. And he focused on voters, economic concerns, border security issues, and local issues. That was how he got over the top, so to speak.

Scott Jennings (13:32)

What's missing from his platform is chronic

Comfortably Smug (13:34)

masturbation for folks who are listeners only. That video was a bit much. It's pretty wild. You're seeing it. Yeah. You're seeing an individual who's wearing a blanket on a plane.

Ashbrook (13:48)

Can we play it again? Play it again.

Comfortably Smug (13:50)

Stunning behavior.

Ashbrook (13:52)

Put the whole thing up again.

Host/Moderator (13:53)

I don't want to see it.

Ashbrook (13:54)

Look at him here and there. He's just lipstick being applied to a man with a mohawk.

Comfortably Smug (13:58)

And the thing is.

Ashbrook (13:59)

Manospiratory events happening under a red blanket. Notice the red blanket travels, by the way. It's the outside the plane. It's inside the plane.

Scott Jennings (14:06)

It's more like a Snuggie.

Comfortably Smug (14:07)

This is the average experience flying southwest. That's what's happening. So. So the gentleman is doing horrific things under blanket, and now he's running for Congress. First off, Samuel Gigante is wild. Like, I remember my day. If you're like a young buck, you're like, okay, we're gonna get some hot rods. I can't understand what they're saying, but it's entertaining. The women are hot. This is a very. Things have changed. Times have clearly changed.

Ashbrook (14:39)

You didn't think that somebody be pulling their own trumpet.

Comfortably Smug (14:41)

It's a bit much. And the fact that. So the other thing is. And this always goes back to what Ashbrook says. I'm gonna alley oop to him. The mainstream media gets away with shit like this. Candidates like this on the Democrat side can get across the line and win a primary and be the candidate in the general when they have shit like this that's out there. Because the mainstream media will always hide the craziest shit about a Democrat.

Host/Moderator (15:06)

They will. Yeah, they will. If they are given proper assurances from the Dem establishment that this person is simply a vegan. This person has nothing to hide. This is the kind of person that we should put up in the general election. The mainstream media is like, thank you, Chuck Schumer. I will write whatever it is you want me to write. And that's where we go to print.

Comfortably Smug (15:27)

And also, the video is wild because, like, if you just heard the music for our audio listeners, you're probably like, yeah, this is why here I'm housing the chips and salsas, waiting for my. My main dish of my favorite Mexican restaurant. You know, the music is, like, totally normal. The video is, like, out of control. Like, what are the lyrics even describing to be? Like, in the video, we're gonna have a guy on an airplane, he's got a blanket hiding the horrific things happening. Like, that's a wild video.

Ashbrook (15:52)

Yeah, no, it's. It's. It's absolutely biz again. The masturbatory event lasts throughout. It's inside the plane. It's outside the plane. It's in front of a man, it's front of a woman. Like, again, it's kind of the all comers.

Comfortably Smug (16:05)

What's the context for this situation of like, so here's the treatment for the music video. We're gonna have a guy on a plane is a song about, like Southwest. Like, here's what it's like flying Southwest. You hop on the plane, everyone's giving you a hard time.

Ashbrook (16:19)

Yeah, trust us.

Comfortably Smug (16:20)

And this guy's having a hard time.

Host/Moderator (16:21)

Yeah, trust us. He's gonna be a congressman.

Ashbrook (16:24)

Yeah, yeah, we're gonna get there. So to speak.

Scott Jennings (16:26)

I mean, I gotta hand it to the director who, you know, cast this role. You like that?

Ashbrook (16:32)

Gotta hand it to him.

Scott Jennings (16:34)

Because, I mean, this Democrat, as Trump might say, as a pedophile. Central casting.

Ashbrook (16:39)

Yeah, central casting. No question about it. So again, we highlight this not just because it's hilarious that somebody's running for Congress who is a masturbatorium in public as a part of a music video or that James Tall Rica doesn't like me, which is in question.

Comfortably Smug (16:57)

We know that's a lie from smoke.

Ashbrook (16:59)

Is that like, these are the kind of people that are running as Democrats. Like, these are their candidates.

Comfortably Smug (17:08)

Yeah.

Ashbrook (17:09)

When they try to pretend six months from now after we get through primary season, like, well, we're just here to uphold America's norm. Think about the mass victory.

Comfortably Smug (17:19)

Don't get lost in the sauce, folks. There's a lot of attempts to try to demoralize Republicans. A lot of it, it's coming from inside the House. There's a lot of attempts to demoralize Republicans and be like, no, everyone gets sad and don't show up to vote. Wake up. That's 100% an op. Trying to get these kind of sickos back in power.

Ashbrook (17:41)

Unless you want that guy sitting next to your seventh grader in school.

Comfortably Smug (17:45)

Seriously, look at Virginia. Look at what Abigail Spamberger's doing. Yeah, that's a warning.

Ashbrook (17:49)

So, all right, we're not done here. Most of us have come to the realization that the Constitution and our amendments have meant something over the years. There's different interpretations of things, and that's what we sort out through the Supreme Court and everything else. 13th amendment is somewhat of an important one for this country to abolish slavery in a lot of different ways. In that, like a seminal moment, it turns out we pretty important civil war over something like that. Pretty important demarcation in time. Well, there's a candidate in New York four that sees it a different way. Clip three and the last thing I

Comfortably Smug (18:30)

will say is remove the 13th. There's a constitutional law that allows that legalizes slavery based on the fact of you committing a crime that is unjust. That is not rehabilitation. That is not how we. That's not how we prepare society, and it is not how we forgive someone for their mistakes.

Ashbrook (18:47)

I want to make sure that you understood what it was this lady was saying. So her name is Kiana Biaria Anderson. She's a Democrat for New York 4, and she's saying abolish the 13th Amendment again. The amendment that put an end to slavery in this country because it left open the possibility of incarceration for people who commit crimes. And that, in her view, is slavery. And if you commit a crime and you are incarcerated, well, it's ratified right there in the 13th Amendment. So throw that whole thing out. Make sure that we don't abolish slavery in the United States of America in large part because the pedophiles, murderers, thieves, rapists, what have you, are effectively enslaved.

Comfortably Smug (19:38)

Can I say, I think actually Kiana deserves some credit.

Scott Jennings (19:43)

I do, too.

Comfortably Smug (19:43)

She's like the one Democrat who's actually consistent. We've known since Abe Lincoln told Democrats, no, slavery's actually over. They've been mad about it and they've never let it go. And she's actually being honest because this whole discussion that we have about no open borders, no letting illegal aliens run amok and commit crimes and steal American jobs, when they make arguments, Nancy Pelosi and you hear these people like, well, who's going to clean our toilets? Who's going to pick our fruits? They've never given it up. They've never given it up. They're like, america can't continue unless we have a free labor force that is essentially enslaved. She's telling the truth. Because that's what Democrats. That's why they shut down dhs. They want their free labor. They want their like low cost. Yeah.

Ashbrook (20:39)

But it's a roundabout version. And that the free labor they're like,

Comfortably Smug (20:44)

component is like, why don't you take our slaves away?

Ashbrook (20:46)

But also they're still mad rapists. Are they so bad?

Comfortably Smug (20:50)

Incredible. Take.

Scott Jennings (20:52)

I don't agree with her at all, but I'm just glad there's finally a Democrat who's actually read the amendments to the Constitution.

Comfortably Smug (20:58)

And that's the thing is it's not like she was like, oh, I got the wrong number. I actually support the end of slavery. She's like, no.

Ashbrook (21:04)

Kiana sat back. She was like, I'm gonna run for office. Let me find anywhere in this document where I profoundly disagree.

Comfortably Smug (21:12)

I know, dude, that city elected momdani slavery. She could still win. Like, that's the thing is like, when people think that things have gotten as bad as they're going to in New York City, no, folks, no, it gets much worse.

Ashbrook (21:27)

This is just a taste, just a small taste. If we had 100 shows to do and we were on 24 hours a day, we couldn't possibly get to the end of the file on each and every Democratic candidate that you have. I don't care where you live. You could live in the reddest state, the bluest municipality. You're gonna get shit like this and

Scott Jennings (21:51)

you don't even really need an oppo book. Just put on C Span and watch their floor speeches from the House of Representatives.

Ashbrook (21:57)

Just, just mind blowing, mind blowing stuff. Mind blowing stuff. So coming up, when we come back, stand up Trump. You know who we love is stand up comedy. He's back in action. This week, he had a couple of absolute killers that we're going to get to right after this.

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Ashbrook (24:15)

Okay, so one of the things that you, me, and basically everybody's appreciated about Donald Trump. He's the damn funniest guy in public life. Has been for years. Even before he was President of the United States. He's just funny. And occasionally he uses the bully pulpit, the microphone, as President of the United States. Just make some jokes about the people who are around him. Well, Speaker Mike Johnson found himself in a bit of the crosshairs on St. Patty's Day this year, where I think President Trump made some assumptions about his ethnicity that, well, didn't pan out. And so this is his reaction of that in clip four. Kelly, I could say that about your sons.

Comfortably Smug (25:01)

One's a boxing champion.

Ashbrook (25:02)

Like, champions.

Comfortably Smug (25:04)

Who would think from this one.

Host/Moderator (25:06)

Amazing.

Comfortably Smug (25:09)

I didn't know about your diagrams either. I thought he was a super wasp. You know, to me. To me, Mike was always a wasp. Now I learned that this is serious Italian stuff.

Ashbrook (25:23)

Well, that'll.

Comfortably Smug (25:23)

That'll be good for you. I think your image. His image has changed a hell of a lot.

Ashbrook (25:32)

That was Trump thinking that Mike Johnson was a super wasp. And we understand how somebody could come to that conclusion only to realize he's actually Sicilian.

Scott Jennings (25:45)

Yeah.

Host/Moderator (25:46)

It's. The only thing our president was missing was a board.

Comfortably Smug (25:51)

I gotta be honest. I'm actually shocked. Like, I never thought Mike Johnson was.

Ashbrook (25:57)

I agree. Mike Johnson is not a Native American.

Comfortably Smug (25:58)

Doesn't strike you as an Italian guy.

Scott Jennings (26:00)

So actually, I'm going to take the opposite opinion here. All of this tracks 100% that Mike Johnson is Italian. This guy has gotten so many deals done.

Ashbrook (26:09)

Yeah.

Scott Jennings (26:09)

Deals with a very slim Republican House majority. And he's done that in back rooms like a lot of dons before him.

Comfortably Smug (26:20)

I don't think you're wrong. I get like, you know, there's a lot of folks out there online who are trying to make Republicans mad and fight each other. There needs to be a lot of credit due for Mike Johnson, who has, like, the hardest gig.

Ashbrook (26:32)

Totally.

Comfortably Smug (26:33)

The House is essentially just like. It's a madhouse. It's the craziest people ever. And they're all. You're trying to rally all of them together and get shit done. And Mike Johnson is done. That's gotta be the worst that's. We had.

Ashbrook (26:46)

He was a member of the Cosa Nostra.

Comfortably Smug (26:48)

But maybe. Oh, my God. But maybe I mean, because I don't know these things. I'm not a Congress, you know, guy. I'm not there on the Hill. Maybe if you're, if you're like, okay, guys, we're gonna have a meeting about getting this bill done. You show up with like some pizzas and ziti, you know, pizzas. Cuz, like, if you show up and you're trying to get my attention and get some work done and you're like, I promise you there's gonna be some good pizza. There's gonna be some good ziti. Is it ziti or ziti? You know, ziti. You know what I mean? And like the garlic bread, I think garlic bread. I'll show up to that meeting. Garlic bread. I'll show up. You got some tiramisu. Maybe that's the edge that he's got. Because, listen, this guy has been like air traffic control on getting the bills done. No one expected he could do it. They're all like, oh, he's a Southerner. No one gets work done like a Southerner, but maybe southern Italy. He's a Sicilian dude.

Host/Moderator (27:37)

You're exactly right. Everybody's expecting like a run of the mill Republican, but he shows up with endless breadsticks and salad. That is exactly what you want out of a leader.

Abby Phillips (27:46)

Yeah.

Comfortably Smug (27:47)

Oh, no, he does look super wasp.

Scott Jennings (27:50)

You see the back, he drops the Olive Garden line. He's like, when you're here, you're family.

Ashbrook (27:56)

It's so good. Well, I mean, listen, he's not done there. He was also, you know, obviously has to answer a ton of questions this week about operations in Iran. What are allies? Great Britain's being a disaster, but, like, you know, there's NATO allies, and that was a little bit of a conflict. And so he was asked a little bit about France. Clip 5 yeah, I have, I have spoken to him.

Comfortably Smug (28:21)

He's been. On a scale of 0 to 10, I'd say he's been an 8.

Ashbrook (28:28)

Not perfect, but it's France. So he's talking about Macron there. And you know, they're basically like, whoa, is Macron. Is he doing better than Starmer? You know, what's the relationship? Have you had a conversation about ongoing operations in Iran? How helpful are they gonna be? I was actually surprised. Like, the news value of it was the 0 through 10 and he says he's an 8 like that. For Trump to say that about a European ally means the guy's being pretty helpful.

Scott Jennings (29:03)

He's being helpful because the French, given their proclivities towards surrender need to be graded on a curve. And our president understands that.

Ashbrook (29:11)

Yeah, 100%. But then for him to just drop the.

Comfortably Smug (29:16)

It's France.

Scott Jennings (29:17)

It's France.

Host/Moderator (29:19)

What a legend.

Comfortably Smug (29:20)

We're gonna miss him, man. You gotta appreciate what we have right now.

Ashbrook (29:26)

Enjoy it while we seriously. And the content is just.

Comfortably Smug (29:31)

The enemies of America are shuddering and patriots are in control. How can people be mad.

Ashbrook (29:36)

Yeah. And just. And just laugh and have a good time every once in a while. You don't need to be so mad. You know there. We don't need to repeal the 13th amendment.

Comfortably Smug (29:46)

Holy.

Host/Moderator (29:47)

I still can't believe that.

Comfortably Smug (29:49)

Think about the state of things. Can we get that image back up of Trump at that meeting right now?

Host/Moderator (29:53)

Wait, wait, which one?

Comfortably Smug (29:55)

Look at that. You've got Mike Johnson, who is air traffic control, running bills through the House at like breakneck speed. And you've got Susie out there. This is. Susie has run the most coordinated White House possibly in our lifetimes while fighting cancer. We've got. We've got a murderer's row. I had no idea.

Ashbrook (30:16)

I mean, Mike Johnson's been really good at what he does for the entirety of the time that he's been speaker of that. I had no idea it was actually Michael Corleone, though. I mean, now we have. I think Trump, I think Southerners never

Comfortably Smug (30:30)

get the credit they're due. I think that's the Mike Johnson thing.

Ashbrook (30:32)

Well, there's a little different.

Comfortably Smug (30:33)

He deserves his flowers.

Ashbrook (30:34)

There's a little different thing there. All right, so we're going to get to hack madness. If you deal with hack madness the way that we deal with hack madness, it means you need to have a couple of drinks and enjoy yourself and think and illuminate upon what all of the competitors are bringing to the table and make your choices wisely. But when you're doing all that.

Comfortably Smug (30:58)

Yeah, you could get carried away.

Ashbrook (31:00)

The best way to prevent any sort of problem whatsoever is Zbiotics. It's the first pre alcohol drink that makes a substantive difference in how you handle your night. We've done it here on the Ruthless Variety program. Can vouch for it. You're gonna love it if it's your first drink of the night. Boy, oh boy, you won't believe the results. Right? Smug.

Comfortably Smug (31:23)

That's the truth. So here's the thing is ZBiotics, we stand with it because it works. It should be your first drink of the night. If you're out to celebrate, if you're out to have a good time, you first have a Zbiotics and it works. And the proof in the pudding is it's not dehydration that makes you feel bad after you've had a few drinks, it's actually these byproducts in alcohol that get broken down, make you feel bad.

Scott Jennings (31:49)

Yeah, that's absolutely right. And when we were putting together Hack Madness, we had to do a ton of research into the professional work and the writings of a lot of these people you're going to see. And, boy, does that drive you to have to drink.

Ashbrook (32:01)

Yeah, it does, it does. Because you have to read what it is that they say and it's maddening. So you want a Zbiotics. And what do we say about Zbiotics?

Host/Moderator (32:09)

We always say there' there's no tomorrow without Zebiotics today.

Ashbrook (32:14)

That's exactly right. So if you go to zebiotics.com ruthless you can learn more and get 15% off of your first order when you use Ruthless at the checkout. Zebiotics is backed by 100% money back guarantee, so if you're unsatisfied for any reason at all, they'll refund your money, no questions asked. Remember to head to zbiotics.com ruthless and use code ruthless at the checkout for 15% off off. Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, it's time for Hack Madness. This is the time we have all been waiting for. You've got spring in bloom. We are looking around, ready, willing and able to have something to laugh about and something to make fun of. And, ladies and gentlemen, Hack Madness is upon us. Fellas. Just reactions before we get into the brackets.

Comfortably Smug (33:09)

I think the overarching story this year, the most important takeaway is the shifting media landscape. The media has moved on. I mean, we're a prime example. If you want to get information, if you want to know what's happening, the most important sources, especially on the left, are no longer the mainstream media, which is lost a lot of ground. You've seen a lot of hacks leave their major media organizations, not to mention

Ashbrook (33:37)

like the collapse of the Washington Post. I mean, you had like 100 perennial contenders that were in that bubble territory become unemployed over the last six months.

Scott Jennings (33:48)

Much like NIL has disrupted the college basketball landscape in March Madness. The destruction of the liberal media apparatus. Many of these scions of previous tournaments have been scattered to the winds. Yes, that has impacted our seeding today.

Host/Moderator (34:03)

Yeah. And you know, we have a brand new committee who is doing the seating and who, who is doing the placement. And I'm very interested to see what they did this year. It might Be different from years past, but we'll take a look.

Ashbrook (34:15)

Well, for those of you who are aficionados and you're returning to see hack madness call, the way we do this is announce our number one seeds and we'll go live on location to report how the crowds are reacting to these. And this might be a surprise. We have the first two or three years that all pretty similar. One or two seeds.

Scott Jennings (34:39)

Perennial blue bloods.

Ashbrook (34:40)

Perennial blue bloods. Again, the shifting media dynamic that you gentlemen have talked about, it could play a role here. I want to go out to the liberal activist division, the number one overall seed, Don Lamont. I'm here in a peaceful sanctuary where

Comfortably Smug (34:56)

congregants eagerly anticipate the arrival of Don Lamond.

Ashbrook (34:59)

Sacrilege is on the menu, and accusations of racism are expected by organizers. While Lamond celebrates his top seed. What a. What a. I mean, look, huge, huge deal. Richly earned. But fired from CNN doesn't have a mainstream outlet typically that that down seeds you in a lot of different ways. But when you come with a fall and winter, the way that Don Lamond has in and of his l like declaring himself a journalist when ultimately a court will be the ruler of that. This is a number one seed that you can't take for granted.

Comfortably Smug (35:36)

Like, it shows a level of dedication. It's like, are you willing to draw pack takes or are you willing to face felonies and hate crimes? Don Lamont, he's elevated the game. It used to be like you're on CNN and you're saying some crazy shit. He's like, I'm going to show up in a church and commit hate crimes.

Scott Jennings (35:55)

That's exactly right. Smug. I think invading a church with BLM activists is exactly the sort of track record and body of work that leads to a number one seed.

Host/Moderator (36:03)

But look, he is not gonna win this easily. He's facing Ana Navarro from the View in her own podcast called Bleep with Anna Navarro. This is a woman who wants to knock off Don Lamond. So I think this might be a little bit more competitive than people think.

Ashbrook (36:20)

We're going to get to the brackets here in a minute, but I will say the other number one seed in the division facing off in the way to online division. A surprise, a big shocker. The first time that he's been a part of the tournament, let alone being in the number one seed, SV Dante. I'm here in an empty room where even SV Dante's closest ideological allies are more comfortable celebrating from afar. Just last year, it was unthinkable that a predictably low IQ reply guy could be regularly employed, let alone obtain a top seed. Yet his relentless pursuit of embarrassment has been rewarded by the committee in what will assuredly be the only recognition of his career. Back to you fellas. All right, so this guy's had a lot of backers. The White House is, you know, firm believers in it. But if you've seen what it is that his body of work is since Donald Trump has been elected president, this is a guy who rises up the ranks. Could I have seen him as a 5 seed? Certainly he was going to be a part of this year's tournament no matter what. Number one overall. What do we think?

Comfortably Smug (37:23)

So this is the thing with S.V. dante. His, like, you know, what gives him a leg up on the, on the competition, in my opinion, I'm not a doctor, I think he's got a lot of mental health issues. He is so committed to the game. Like, this is a guy who will show up in your replies and fire off like a thousand tweets where it's like, if this is a family member you cared about, you're like, we gotta seek professional help, friend. But for him, he's using it as his edge to get a leg up on the competition professionally. If you have anything, you know, to the right of Bernie Sanders, there's a chance that svdate has showed up in your replies with an insane take and

Scott Jennings (38:03)

he just can't help himself. And it's that sort of dedication that leads to a number one seed. This is a man led like a moth to a flame to the worst take on Twitter every single day.

Host/Moderator (38:12)

But once again, you look at a guy if you just. Just observe his body of work. He has wanted this number one seed maybe more than anybody else in the tournament.

Ashbrook (38:22)

Work for it.

Host/Moderator (38:23)

However, he faces a play in game out of that number, seed 16, that may present some challenges.

Comfortably Smug (38:28)

This is so. This is the thing. This is a wild playing game. Usually, you know, when, when. Let's not get into the play.

Ashbrook (38:35)

We want to reveal the bracket in a minute. We're just gonna do the one. But wait till you see, wait till you see what we've got. We have a little preview for it. You're gonna love every second of it. We have to go to the fake news division and the establishment division before we do. All that fake news richly earned. Ladies and gentlemen, gentleman, Abby Phillips.

Abby Phillips (38:55)

Apologies if it's hard to hear me, fellas.

Comfortably Smug (38:57)

I'm over here on the set at Abby Phillips show, which can only be

Abby Phillips (38:59)

described as a panel of liberal hyenas fighting over the scraps of their own reputation.

Comfortably Smug (39:04)

Scott Jennings is absolutely beaming as he just shared the news with the Phillips camp. We have no doubt this news will

Abby Phillips (39:10)

be misreported by Abby and then half corrected tomorrow.

Comfortably Smug (39:13)

Back to you.

Ashbrook (39:14)

Listen, I don't know much like, like Margaret Brennan was last year's champion and number one overall seed that there has been a journo who has more deservedly earned and worked through a 365 day year to get to a point to be a number one seed more than Abby Felton.

Comfortably Smug (39:36)

That's the thing. So you know, the, the quarterly ratings just came out and we saw CNN is like a distant, distant third. But what they have going for them is Abby Phillip and we call her Abby Phillips because it makes her mad, apparently. So Abby Phillips has gone on night after night and had the worst takes possible. The whole everybody knows the only reason CNN is still a flow is because they got Scott Jennings showing up and being like, yo, you're all terrible. But it's on her show. She's like, listen, I'm not only going to be wrong, I, I'm going to be loud about it. And she's built a career off of it, Doug.

Scott Jennings (40:14)

No, it's absolutely true. I mean basically she runs the liberal coliseum and you got Scott Jennings down in there and he's Russell Crowe trying to fight the lions every night. And you got Abby Phillip or Phillips if she hates it that much. Abby Phillips is basically Claudius up there and she doesn't know how to put her thumb up and down. She can't tell the truth, she makes up lies and she just half corrections the day later.

Ashbrook (40:34)

Fair enough.

Host/Moderator (40:35)

Yeah, no, I think it's a good point. I think it. Now since Sigmund Freud has anybody gathered and observed insanity quite as frequently as Abby Phillips? But also Freud was never overtaken by it. CNN quite frequently is overtaken by the insanity. I think, I predict she is going to go deep here.

Ashbrook (40:53)

Oh man, that's a big endorsement out of Smash. He typically has a finger on the pulse of the journo world. Take that advice for what it's worth, which is a lot and has madness. The establishment division. Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, Stephen Colbert. Colbert HQ is an absolute pandemonium over his number one seed this year. The canceled late night host is officially off the air in May and many people are saying this is a fitting swan song for an illustrious liberal hack. To celebrate, Colbert has lined up a guest list of democratic politicians you've never heard of to Sing his praises. It's exactly the sort of self congratulatory farewell tour you'd expect from a number one seed. Back to you.

Comfortably Smug (41:40)

Huge and well earned. This is so. I love being a part of the show because we have the courage to do the right thing. So many people think that like no, Stephen Colbert is a comedian and he has his like late night comedy show that has. Hasn't been in a late night comedy show in like a decade. We know what that is. And, and James Talrico, huge fan of the Meat. A lot of people know he's a huge fan of the meat. Used Stephen Colbert because he's a liberal hack and that's why he's the number one pick.

Scott Jennings (42:09)

I have to hand it to the committee on this one. Really courage to put him number one overall, you know there's going to be some controversies, gonna be some controversies here in the.

Ashbrook (42:18)

He's not it day in, day out political guy. But if you look at the body of work and his association with the establishment of the Democratic Party impact and his interviews of people you've never heard of just simply to try to expose them to a different audience for fundraising purposes. Makes a lot of sense.

Scott Jennings (42:35)

Yeah.

Physician Guest (42:36)

Yeah.

Host/Moderator (42:36)

Typically with these picks you either have a lib giorno or a left wing activist. Very rarely do you have a press secretary for Chuck Schumer at a number one seed. And I think this guy could go deep.

Ashbrook (42:47)

That is, that is well said. All right, it's time to march through the rest of these brackets. You're gonna find out who these number one seeds match up against. And we start in the liberal activist division, Don Lamond, who's richly earned the number one seed against what Smash talked about. Anna Navarro, perennial contender. She's on the View. She's on cnn. This is somebody who's been a part of I think all six of the Hack Madness tournaments. She's facing off as a 16th seed. A very daunting match up there. A little bit lower. One of the two winners of that is going to face off against Nicole Wallace. Big time Ms. Now, as they say. And an Ms. Now matchup against Jen Psaki.

Host/Moderator (43:31)

Yeah, I think this matchup is very interesting. Not just because you have two former White House press secretaries because it's pits a 4pm hour against prime time 9pm and I actually think Nicole Wallace is going to give her best. But Jen Psaki we saw over last year, we saw the year before. She has some strength and I do think Jen's going to win this one.

Ashbrook (43:52)

Fantastic analysis. The 5:12, if you think about it, a matchup rich for upsets over the years. Heather Cox Richardson against Joe Scarborough. It's one of those, those new media, old media matchups. Michael.

Scott Jennings (44:05)

Yeah, Heather is new to the scene here. If you're familiar with podcasting and you watch other shows like ours, you may have seen her out there. It's basically the most harebrained left wing podcast on the planet. You thought Pod Save America was bad.

Comfortably Smug (44:20)

You.

Scott Jennings (44:20)

You don't have any clue. This woman is insane. It's well deserved here at the 5C.

Ashbrook (44:25)

So number four against 13, Anna Casperan, as she's going against Sanders. Very formidable matchup there.

Host/Moderator (44:31)

Yeah, here's. I have a thought on this one, because Anna Kasparian is 39 years old and she is on a show called the Young Turks, but Simone Sanders is actually younger than Anna Kasparian.

Comfortably Smug (44:44)

Wait, are you for real?

Host/Moderator (44:45)

I am by three years. So I think that's great.

Comfortably Smug (44:48)

I would have never guessed.

Host/Moderator (44:49)

I think youth wins this one. I think Simone Sanders.

Comfortably Smug (44:51)

So that's shocking. So my take on this matchup originally was. Was because, like, Anna Kasparian has taken the, like, youth progressive wing of anti Semitism and just run with it. Right?

Ashbrook (45:03)

Yeah.

Comfortably Smug (45:04)

I did not know she was the older of. That's stunning because, like, you know, shadow Simone Sanders, she's been a member of, like, the old guard establishment progressives for like a decade.

Ashbrook (45:13)

Yeah, yeah.

Comfortably Smug (45:14)

Shocking.

Scott Jennings (45:14)

Anna Kasparian might be number four in our brackets, but she's number one in the hearts of Hamas. And I think that that's why she gets on to the next round.

Ashbrook (45:22)

Yeah, A couple of Hezbollah votes in there. In between number six, 11, we have Stephanie Rule, a big favorite of comfortably smug against Eugene Daniels. The former president of the White House Correspondents association is now a member of Ms. Now smug.

Comfortably Smug (45:37)

So I have a lot to say about this situation. I want to avoid lawsuits. So Stephanie Rule off. People say she likes flying planes and the people who produce planes. She's kind of a fan of that situation. You can Google it and see whatever you want. Eugene Daniels is, in my opinion, an epitome of everything that is wrong with the modern media. This is an individual who's completely untalented, who has no gifts for. For actually bringing the truth to the public, which is ostensibly the job of journalism, but who's been just like, uplifted because they're like, oh, Eugene just hit a Google image search of this guy. They're like, oh, wow, he's wearing, like platform boots and a rhinestone dress. Saying he's going to Beyonce concert. I think we should make him like the voice of the Washington Post. And this is how a guy becomes like the head of a. What's it with the big dinner ash that you love?

Scott Jennings (46:25)

White House Correspondence association.

Comfortably Smug (46:27)

So like he loves this whole like media thing. And so they're like, yes, let's make this guy like the head of the whole association to celebrate journos and Ashe will claps along.

Ashbrook (46:36)

Well, we're gonna move on. We're going three to 14. Medi Hassan, somebody who I feel like has not gotten enough love by this tournament committee in previous years. But he's in as a three seed, very high seed. But he's matched up against a extremely formidable 14 seed in Tim Miller of the Bulwark.

Host/Moderator (46:55)

You always look for those early round matchups that are really going to define the tournament and this is one I think everyone will have their eyes on because you got Tim Miller from former Republican who has now adopted all these left wing ideas. You got Mehdi Hassan who got a guy fired from CNN cuz he didn't like the what he was talking about. I really think that this is one of the matchups that everybody needs to pay attention to. I don't know which way it's going to go.

Ashbrook (47:21)

I agree. I mean look, idiocy is a big part of it. Blind partisanship is a part of it. But moral vacancy is also a huge part of advancing on the sweet 16, if not before. And Tim Miller has that spade.

Comfortably Smug (47:33)

I want to go in on this in particular. So this is an incredibly difficult matchup. These are two titans because you have media son who is, you know, basically spends his time running cover for terrorism. Like that's his whole thing is he's like actually America deserves all the terrorism possible. And then you have Tim Miller who's a Huntsman guy, a horrible guy. He's a very Talarico kind of guy. You know, like they strike me as the same thing. Morally vacant will believe anything possible to try to get attention. And it's going to be up to the voters to decide this.

Scott Jennings (48:08)

It is remarkable we have found here in this matchup is the Trader matchup. Mehdi Hassan, Trader to America. Tim Miller, Trader to Republicans. Who will move on?

Ashbrook (48:17)

Yeah, who will move on? A big mid bracket showdown between two powerhouses. ABC's Sonny Hostin against Rachel Maddow. A 710 matchup. That one is going to also bring huge ramifications for the rest of this bracket.

Host/Moderator (48:35)

Yeah, earlier in the preview I was talking about how the Committee has taken a different approach this year and I feel like this is the first place we've seen that different approach play out. Rachel Maddow at a number 10 seed. I'm surprised. I thought she was would be a little bit higher than that.

Scott Jennings (48:50)

Well, I mean I think the difference here in this seating, Anna Navarro got a 16. She's the dumbest person on the view by a long shot. But she's not quite as shameless in all of her crazy takes as Sunny Hostin. I think it's well deserved. I mean, the craziest stuff that comes out of that show, I believe is

Ashbrook (49:05)

Sunny Austin committee may have made the correct selection on that. You round out the bracket with a two seat of big surprise for everybody. A first timer here in madness. Jennifer Welch takes on perennial contender Kara Swisher.

Comfortably Smug (49:19)

Fellas, I think this is, you know, part of why this bracket is so great this year is because it addresses the fact that the media landscape has completely shifted. You've had people like Kara Swisher who've been a Liberal hack for 10 years, but it's like it's time for the old folks home. You've got the new guard, Jennifer Welch, who, listen, she's old in her own right, but she's crazy as shit and that's what the left loves to eat up. You've seen her at like the Mamdani victory party. Like this is an old lady who's crazy as shit, but she's embedded herself with like the modern Hamas youth.

Host/Moderator (49:56)

It is interesting. You know, in a lot of ways Kara Swisher is sort of like the fullback going through the hole to clear out the defense to let the Jennifer Welch insanity flourish. And I think it's going to be interesting to see just how much it does in this bracket.

Ashbrook (50:09)

Well, we got to switch over to the way to online which is always one of our favorite brackets. It produces a ton of wild cards. Of course, SV Dante has the number one seed. Who is he going to face off against? Wild card we're going to have playing game. What's that? Playing game. Ladies and gentlemen, Ryan Lizza and Olivia Newsy.

Comfortably Smug (50:29)

Ah, clash of the titans.

Host/Moderator (50:32)

This one gets close to home. Obviously we have covered this, chronicled this, we have talked about it ad nauseam on the show and I feel like it's only fair that it's settled in a play in game to face off against SV Date. I think Nuzzy is actually going to win this one. I do. I think that she has sort of the panache that Lizzo was Sort of trying to reel back in.

Scott Jennings (50:56)

Well, we know she'll do anything to win.

Comfortably Smug (50:58)

Oh, well, can I be honest about that?

Ashbrook (51:00)

To pronounce something?

Comfortably Smug (51:01)

I. I think. I think she deserves credit because I think she has a lot more character than the modern left. Everybody knows what Olivia's about. She's made it clear, you know, the left has basically decided they're going to try a Trojan horse like Abigail Spamberger. Nuzzy's put it out there, the. She writes in the book, all the crazy shit.

Ashbrook (51:21)

Yeah.

Comfortably Smug (51:21)

She doesn't give a fuck. That's honest. I respect that. I think she should be voted right. He's an old dog. He's been at this game. Game for a while. You know what I mean? Like, he's lost a step, a means

Ashbrook (51:31)

to an end, so to speak.

Comfortably Smug (51:33)

You know, she follows me. My advice to you, keep trucking.

Ashbrook (51:37)

Go for it.

Comfortably Smug (51:38)

Don't give up.

Scott Jennings (51:39)

A lot of ageism from comfortably spark today.

Ashbrook (51:41)

Yeah, no, definitely. And also she follows me, which I appreciated. They're going to. Whoever the winner of this, and that's a tough matchup, is going to face Keith Olbermann, perennial contender.

Comfortably Smug (51:53)

Wow.

Ashbrook (51:53)

Again against David French, who I think has distinguished himself in a way that previous years people hadn't heard of. They were unfamiliar with the hypocrisy. They didn't know that this guy was like a conservative, whatever, and he just didn't like Trump. Now, particularly with the backdrop of Iran, this guy, he's a big contender.

Comfortably Smug (52:16)

So I don't want to put my thumb on the scales, but, folks, wouldn't be funny to have Olivia Nuzzy and Keith Ollerman in the bracket because it could happen.

Ashbrook (52:27)

Oh, I didn't even notice. That was what we've done.

Comfortably Smug (52:30)

This is art.

Ashbrook (52:31)

The tournament committee is really something.

Host/Moderator (52:33)

Yeah, the committee is very smart and it could happen. Smug. But Olbermann has to get out of the first round. I mean, this is a matchup of the pretenders. A guy who pretended to care about sports versus a guy who pretended to be a conservative. Facing off against each other to face. I think Olivia Nuzzy is going to beat SV Dante. I really do. Really, I really do. I think they're. I think this is. I think.

Comfortably Smug (52:57)

I think all he has going for him is, is he has a severe problem. Like, I think he's. He's just a broken dude, in my opinion. I think Olivia would take him.

Ashbrook (53:07)

Dude.

Comfortably Smug (53:07)

I think Olivia would take him. I think. I think the selection committee was right because he's earned. Essentially, the left now is just like an insane asylum which svdate embodies. So he deserves the one seat.

Scott Jennings (53:18)

I think svdate's only chance of withstanding an upset is that the entire White House correspondents association votes for him.

Host/Moderator (53:26)

And that can happen.

Ashbrook (53:27)

It can happen, as we saw in the interview. That seems like people who know him best are certainly most likely to vote for him in this particular tournament. If you go to the 5002012 C Joy Reid, perennial contender. She's back again. You saw a clip of her last week, but she's facing off against Ben Smith. And I'm not sure how he keeps sneaking in, but he.

Scott Jennings (53:48)

It smugs personal animus.

Ashbrook (53:49)

Is that what's going on here?

Comfortably Smug (53:50)

It's not personal animus. It's the truth. I think there's a lot of questions of people asking about what kind of. When he went to the New York Times, did he have the right kind of disclosures about maybe the equity stake that he had in Buck Buzzfeed, which as we all know is. Is like on the verge of filing for bankruptcy. They just put out a note about can they be a growing concern. But good for Ben Smith. He cashed out his equity ahead of everyone who he hired. That's a smart move if you're just trying to like cash in and kill the youth. And that's kind of like the move that he's for allegedly. A lot of people are saying gonna

Ashbrook (54:26)

be tough, but he's a good friend, right fellas?

Comfortably Smug (54:28)

He's a good friend of Ashbrook.

Host/Moderator (54:29)

It is going to be tough to beat Joy Reid. I feel like this is a one sided matchup. Joy's gonna win.

Ashbrook (54:33)

No question about it. Aaron Rupar, the number four seed, of course he had a lot of relevance here because he lives in Minneapolis or St. Paul. So there's an awful lot of journals that relied on his on the ground left wing reporting when it came to ice. He's going to face off against Matt iglesias in the 413 matchup. If you move south, you go to Sam Stein of the Bulwark. He's going to go against. Against radio free Tom Nichols, somebody we haven't heard about in a lot in the King of the Hill. But again, Iran, he comes to the fore, makes the tournament, fellas.

Host/Moderator (55:06)

Yeah, I think Nichols obviously has the history in King of the Hill and that's not nothing. However, Sam Stein has a body of work for left wing journalism that cannot be ignored. I think Sam wins this round.

Scott Jennings (55:18)

I think Tom Nichols is one of those bubble teams that just makes a deep Run into their conference tournament. That's how you get in to an 11 seed for a guy like that.

Ashbrook (55:26)

All right, well, Hassan Piker has made his first showing in hack madness. Well deserved. Been a bubble team the last few years. Got himself in. This year he's facing off against Sarah Longwell.

Comfortably Smug (55:39)

This is so this is 14. A beautiful diagnosis of the modern media landscape when it comes to the left because you've got Hassan Piker rightfully as a three on a one seed. He is essentially the tip of the spear when it comes to the left. He shows up at like the Mamdani victory party. You see every like serious elected Democrats going on this guy's streamer show on Twitch. This is a guy I want, I want to remind everybody here this is a fact. He said America deserved 9 11. And now you have elected Democrats going on to show. And I'm not talking about like, oh, some council members showing. No, these are Senate candidates that show up on this guy's show because that's where the party is. And ruthless is so great because we diagnose things as they are. He is the vanguard of the modern left.

Ashbrook (56:30)

I love where the party at 9 11's an inside job.

Comfortably Smug (56:34)

There we go.

Host/Moderator (56:34)

I do think he has the strength here. I think that he is the tone setter on the left. And everything that Longwell and the Bulwark are trying to do is copying off of what Piker is doing.

Comfortably Smug (56:45)

It's like the old versus the new.

Ashbrook (56:47)

Yeah, it's a 314 that's richly matched up that way. Julia Offey, you didn't hear about her a lot. If you jump on her Twitter account and just scan around, you're going to see the insanity that she's up to. But she's up against Rick Wilson who has lost his damn mind and has for a lot of years. I think that's an interesting 710 matchup. But if you close out that bracket at the bottom, Oliver Darcy, former cnn, now just sort of in the media critique world. He's a number two seed this year. And if you've looked at anything that it is that he has written in terms of media critiques, bonkers to the point of paranoid schizophrenia.

Comfortably Smug (57:29)

So I want to say that, you know, a lot of people will be like Oliver Darcy, see as a number two seed. What the hell? I think this is an indictment on the modern west media landscape. He has some like stupid little substack, whatever it's called. What's it called? It's like the we don't know or Some shit like that. It's some ridiculous name, but it's being hyped up and propped up by other people on the left. They're essentially now seeing that no one cares about their views.

Host/Moderator (57:53)

Right.

Comfortably Smug (57:54)

They're all hop like Ms. Now Ms. Or NBC dipped on msnbc. That fell apart. So now they're all jumping to substacks and trying to hype each other up of being like, yeah, we're worth a subscription. I think he's a paper tiger. I don't expect him to go very far.

Ashbrook (58:09)

Oh, I think he gets through Kyle chaney at the 15 seed, but we'll see where it goes from there. If you want to switch on out to the fake news division, always a tough bunch of matchups. Recall that Abby Phillip was our number one overall seed seed. She's facing off against Chris Hayes, favorite of the program.

Scott Jennings (58:30)

And I love that Chris Hayes got a 16 seed because I can think of no person who would hate that fact more than Chris Hayes. He thinks he deserves better.

Ashbrook (58:39)

He does. He wants to be up in that. And remember we used to take shots at the program from time to time. Well, it turns out nobody hears what it is that he's taking shots at these days. Where you now his seating is fun. Fallen from a 2 and a 3 now all the way down to 16 in large part because. Hey, we can't hear you, Chris. If you go down to the 89 matchup, it's Jim Acosta, blast from the past is somebody who has won this tournament, if I'm not mistaken, back in the day. But he's now an 8 seed because fired is sub stacked. I think the only reason.

Comfortably Smug (59:11)

Because fired. That's tough.

Ashbrook (59:12)

Yeah. I think the only reason he's in this is because he has done things that like create AI reinterpretations of people who are killed by high school gunfire.

Host/Moderator (59:23)

Yeah, look, he's facing off against Lawrence o', Donnell, another Democrat press secretary turned media personality. And I don't think that Lawrence is going to be able to do what it. It's required. You think it Costa gets through Acosta's brand and everything he's built up over the, you know, with the insanity over the last few years. I think that gets him through to the second. Second round.

Ashbrook (59:42)

Interesting take. All right, so the 512 rich for ain't upset, but I don't think so in this case, the potato, a former champion of hack madness, Brian Stelter of cnn. He's gone. He's back. He's gone. He's back. Back at cnn. He's got a five seed in this year's tournament facing off against Yamiche El.

Comfortably Smug (60:02)

I love this. You know, Brian Stelter, he's just a pig who lost punishment. Like, they throw him out. They're like, you suck ass. Get the hell out of here. And then they hire him back. And if I had to guess, I don't have any proof of this. They probably hired him back for like half the amount of money. He still takes it. You know what I mean? Like, bro, he's got no pride.

Ashbrook (60:19)

Yeah.

Scott Jennings (60:19)

I mean, that's the thing is usually when there's a sinking ship, the rats get off. It's very rare for a rat to come back on.

Comfortably Smug (60:26)

Like, you really gotta be a talentless hack to be like, just treat me like shit, whip me like a pig and bring me back. But.

Host/Moderator (60:31)

But let's be honest, that's what it takes to win. And if you're facing off against Yamichal Sindor, you're gonna need that sort of attitude.

Comfortably Smug (60:42)

He's a humiliated pig, bro. It's probably the Beatles breakdown. I've never heard anybody do. He has no pie. I'm sorry, None. Sorry to disrupt the.

Ashbrook (60:52)

Akane. I will get back to think.

Comfortably Smug (60:54)

Wow. Chuck.

Ashbrook (60:56)

Okay. 413. Ladies and gentlemen, Andrew Fine at the Four Siege, facing off against Will Sommer. 6 11. Fred Plightkin. I don't know this guy from the man on the moon, but a big six seed this time around. He's facing off against Mika Brzezinski.

Host/Moderator (61:13)

Yeah, so this is the CNN guy who is behind the scenes in Iran, covering the war from the ground in Iran. And a lot of conservatives are concerned about what. Oh, this is the saying, right?

Ashbrook (61:24)

This is the cat who is basically. This is the Republican Guard's point of view.

Comfortably Smug (61:30)

Is he the guy who was like, it's bad that we killed like the leader who executed reminder.

Host/Moderator (61:36)

And so if this guy has any shortcoming in the first round is that he's not a household name. Facing off against Mika Brzezinski. And I think Micah is going to

Comfortably Smug (61:44)

win this, if I can be honest. Like, if you're trying to be like, actually executing 30 to 40,000 civilians is good. That should get you. It should, it should.

Host/Moderator (61:52)

But you know, this is, this is this tournament. Shoulda, woulda, coulda, you know what I mean? Like, this is like.

Ashbrook (61:57)

Well, the voters will decide.

Host/Moderator (61:58)

The voters decide.

Scott Jennings (61:59)

And also a point of history. Mika's father was involved in.

Comfortably Smug (62:03)

Wow, bro.

Scott Jennings (62:05)

In the toppling in Iran.

Host/Moderator (62:10)

So there you have it. The first round of the Hack Madness tournament. More meaning than you would ever expect.

Comfortably Smug (62:16)

It could be.

Host/Moderator (62:16)

Committee knew what they were doing here. The committee knew exactly what they were doing.

Ashbrook (62:20)

Trying to keep a pace going, but this is going. This is as good as it gets. This might be our best bracket ever. If you move down to 314. Gabe Sherman against Ashley Parker over at the Atlantic form of the Washington Post. An interesting match up there, the 710. David Folken flick. This is somebody that I don't know personally, but he's facing off against a household name in a Anderson Cooper.

Host/Moderator (62:43)

Yeah, Falcon Flick. Not a household name, but a reporter at npr. Anybody who's seen his stuff, and there are a lot of people who have, probably think it's very biased. And so I think that he's actually going to make a run against Cooper. I ultimately think Anderson Cooper wins this for sure.

Comfortably Smug (62:59)

Also, it's critical that we have folks like Ash Brook to represent the over 90 age crowd who still listens to NPR to like infinite inform us on these.

Ashbrook (63:08)

Representation's important to the committee and everybody else. Finish off the fake news bracket. The number two seed, perennial powerhouse, somebody who's been a topic of conversation here on the variety program the last week, Natasha Bertrand. She's gonna face off against Jane Mayer, one of the biggest hacks of all time. Normally, this would be a real battle, but I think Natasha has distinguished herself in a way that's given her that 2C.

Host/Moderator (63:33)

Every once in a while in these bracket matchups, you see somebody looking in the mirror, and in this case, Natasha Bertrand looks in the mirror and she sees a very, very old version of herself, and that's Jane Marrow. And what I think will happen here, what is that Natasha Bertrand wins because youth tends to win in these sorts of matchups.

Scott Jennings (63:56)

Lot of age attack.

Comfortably Smug (64:00)

I'm gonna add something, but I don't get in trouble, so we can move on.

Ashbrook (64:02)

Okay. Well, moving on, the last but not least, the establishment division and typically a very formidable crew that comes out of this establishment. We discuss the number one seed, Stephen Colbert. Who is he matching up with? ABC's Mary Bruce.

Host/Moderator (64:19)

No brainer. This one seed's gonna take the 16

Ashbrook (64:21)

all day, no question. But then whoever wins that matchup is going to have to face last year's champion, who slipped from a 1 to an 8 in CBS's Margaret Brennan, who's facing off against Jonathan Carl in an 8, 9 match.

Comfortably Smug (64:39)

So I have to compliment that, like, the seating is very fair here. Where Margaret Brennan went from like the lips thought that she was the tip of the Spear to Republicans turned her into a dunking contest where it was like, okay, JD Roll up and dunk on her and we're gonna have clips all over the Internet and Marco, show up and dunk on her. We'll have clips all over the Internet. And that's why she has fallen to an eight seed.

Ashbrook (65:04)

Yeah, no, that's a fair point. If you move down the bracket, Kaitlan Collins of CNN earns a 5 seed this year. I believe it's her highest seed. She's facing off against king of the Hill champion, Bill Crystal. Fellas.

Scott Jennings (65:16)

Yeah, I mean, I don't think this is any surprise, but I think Kaitlin Collins has it here. I mean, Bill has a body of work on being a neocon who's now against the Iran war, but he's really a one note sort of player in hack madness. And she's got a much wider repertoire. Someone who could work it on the inside or hit it from deep range.

Ashbrook (65:34)

Another newcomer to the bracket, Ed o' Keefe of cbs. Surprised to see him show up this year, but he's facing off against Edric Klein in a 413 match.

Comfortably Smug (65:44)

What's your read on this, Ash Brooks?

Host/Moderator (65:45)

I'm looking for Klein to win here. I think he's.

Comfortably Smug (65:48)

You don't think it's a bigger hack here? I think a troublemaker.

Host/Moderator (65:52)

I think more people know Ezra Klein's name and therefore that's who they're going to pick.

Ashbrook (65:57)

Philip Bump, somebody who is a Washington Post casualty. I'm not sure if he found himself or to see an an or free just as his own substack page, but I do see his Twitter account and boy, oh boy, it is enough to give you paranoid schizophrenia. He's a 6 seed this year and he's facing off against the establishment of all establishments. Former White House press secretary turned ABC host George Stephanopoulos.

Comfortably Smug (66:24)

Yeah, I think he's overrated. He's overrated as shit. This guy's like, he's a daddy's boy. Bump, Bump. You know, he had family money. He's never had talent. And like the WaPo when they were able to have like a fat margin, have losers around, could keep him employed. But then like versus is like, you know, I'm on a yacht and I'm seeing you guys are just like losing all my money. Get rid of the biggest losers and so bumps out the door. So he has zero talent. I think the selection committee should have flipped those. I think Stephanopoulos is more of a six seed and bumps in 11.

Ashbrook (66:57)

So you see an upset.

Comfortably Smug (66:58)

Yeah, I mean bumps. Talentless loser.

Host/Moderator (67:00)

Yeah, listen, I also see an upset here, guys. You know, bumps, limited notoriety I think will make him come up short against Dick Gebhart and Bill Clinton's press secretary who's now doing work for abc. So I just don't think, I think he's worked very hard.

Comfortably Smug (67:17)

Wait, was a Gephardt guy? Are you for real, dude? I thought he was just like a Clinton guy from the beginning. He's that long in the game.

Ashbrook (67:25)

Honestly, the resume we can do.

Host/Moderator (67:29)

He's been around quite a while. He's put in in a lot. I mean he's a Democrat guy. He's a Democrat that's old as shit. But, but the thing is he has put in a lot of honest days work on behalf of the left and Philip Bump just hasn't reached that sort of notoriety. I mean he's kind of tried, but it just hasn't worked out for him.

Comfortably Smug (67:48)

As a, as a very quick aside, I know a lot of people, you know, agree or disagree with me when I say I respect the boomers and think they're the most, you know, important generation history. That's the institutional knowledge when you've got extremely old people here. I didn't know he was a Gephardt guy. Thank you, Ash.

Ashbrook (68:05)

Heavy age stuff going on. We moved down the bracket and this is one I'm particularly fond of. Aaron Blake is a three seed against Sahil Kapoor. Now these are two people that we've talked about on the program. I urged four years ago when I felt like the first three years of hack madness were heavily on the cable TV side to take a look at print and look at a body of work to the consistency of the insanity of a take on a day to day basis. Who's putting in the data? Not enough to show up for seven minutes on television in primetime. What are you doing in that front page of the newspaper proclaiming to be objective but then inserting your opinion through Aaron Blake is my version of this exact story. I'm glad that he has the three seed. He was of course like everyone else fired from the Washington Post and he made his way over to cnn. I urge everyone before you vote on the Sahil Kapoor, take a look at the Twitter feed of Aaron Blake. Take a look at the body of work since he's been at the CNN. I can assure you that of 65 teams in this field you are not going to find. I'm going to anyone who is more consistently reliable insane than Aaron.

Comfortably Smug (69:24)

So I'm going to have to take the other side of this is a piece of garbage. And whenever I'm in the capital, he gives me a dirty look because he's mad at me. And he blocked me on Twitter because I held him accountable.

Ashbrook (69:36)

Do you feel like it's Indian on Indian violence?

Comfortably Smug (69:38)

No. I think Sahil Kapoor, a soft dude who's mad. He's mad because I always would call him out when he's being a hack. He's like, he will sit there, and Democrats will be like, no, we should let, like, illegal rapists run amok and kill Americans. And. And he's. He's cool with that. And then he will run up to any Republican he finds, stick his arm in the elevator, and be. And try to put them on the spot. He thinks his job. He's. He's more committed than any super passion of trying to defend elected Republicans. He's. And he sits in the Capitol all day long, and if you walk past him, he gives you a dirty look. If you're a respectable individual, he's mad about it.

Ashbrook (70:21)

Well, at least he should.

Comfortably Smug (70:22)

I think he should be in jail.

Ashbrook (70:23)

I don't think he shows. You know, Baron Blake says if you

Comfortably Smug (70:25)

don't, just vote for Silicoper. Lock him up.

Host/Moderator (70:27)

Thumb on the scale.

Ashbrook (70:28)

Yeah, he's. Lock him up. Three miles away.

Comfortably Smug (70:32)

Coward. Coward.

Ashbrook (70:33)

All right, so round out the bracket. Jimmy. Jeremy Barr with a seven seed, his first appearance in the tournament, facing off against a perennial powerhouse, David from in the 10 seed and at the bottom of the bracket. Listen, Jake Tapper is somebody you never want to ignore in a hack madness tournament, but he's faced off against a really tough 15 seed this year, and Peter Baker of the New York.

Comfortably Smug (70:56)

That's an insane match. Matchup. Baker's underrated him and his deranged wife. In my opinion, there. There are a couple of really crazy people dropping insane takes in a position of power. Baker's at the New York Times dropping these takes, but I. I want to say, in my opinion. So Jake Tapper used to be famous for. He would DM you when he was mad about some. If you're like, Tapper, that's a bad. If you tweeted out that, like, Jake Tapper had a bad take On CNN within 30 seconds, your inbox is like, how dare you say this shit? Because Tapper was always mad. He's kind of mellowed on that. Maybe his heart's not in the game.

Ashbrook (71:31)

Well, I think he got over.

Comfortably Smug (71:32)

What are your thoughts on the sash, Brook?

Host/Moderator (71:34)

No, I don't watch your show.

Ashbrook (71:36)

Oh, interesting. Okay. Well, either way, I will say perennial powerhouse and richly deserved two seed fellas. That's the tournament. You look back through this bracket, I'm just gonna ask you.

Comfortably Smug (71:50)

It feels like 65 powerhouses.

Ashbrook (71:52)

I don't know that we've had a more now, is it unconventional? Sure. Are there names that you're accustomed to seeing here that aren't here? No question. I would say that the demise of the liberal media is probably more responsible for that than the selection committee in many ways. But you look across this, anything that you're seeing that pops out is that you think is going to be a contender here.

Comfortably Smug (72:19)

My one point of advice to folks is the media landscape is shifting by the day, by the hour, by the minute. I think, you know, huge shout out to Rufus for recognizing the media landscape has changed. Especially on the left where you've got these crazy looney tunes people like Hassan Piker who are having like Gavin Newsom's gonna show up on his this is it. Hasan Piker is an individual who said America deserved 9, 11. And you're having folks like Gavin Newsom. Yeah. Driving show up.

Ashbrook (72:50)

Driving a news.

Host/Moderator (72:52)

I do think there's a fair amount of recency bias in the voting.

Ashbrook (72:54)

Okay.

Host/Moderator (72:55)

And I think that's part of the reason why Margaret Brennan was so successful in 2025 because she's right on the heels of her ridiculous performance.

Ashbrook (73:03)

It does reflect. Listen, you win year in year, you. You don't win. Duke doesn't win every year because the 1992 basketball team.

Host/Moderator (73:11)

I think what I'm trying to say is that Stephen Colbert may do better

Ashbrook (73:14)

this year than interesting to expect.

Host/Moderator (73:16)

Interesting because he's been sort of at the center of a lot of conversation online.

Ashbrook (73:21)

Fascinating. Number one, so he's got an easier pass than most. Although he has to go through a defending champion in the second round.

Scott Jennings (73:28)

I have, I have two I'm looking at here. I look at this 4 versus 13. Andrew Feinberg and Will Summer from the fake news division. Will Summer kind of strikes me as like a Miami of Ohio, like a really good record mid major team that gets underseated versus what they've actually produced on the court. I'm looking for an upset there. I also have to say, Holmes, I agree with you about Phil Bump. A lot of people are not familiar with his work. I see him more as like a Gonzaga. He plays out on the west coast, so people aren't familiar with his game. They don't see him in the primetime every single night. But if you look into it. He produces.

Ashbrook (74:04)

That's going to be something. I think there's going to be something of a new guard here. Heather Cox Richardson is one that catches my eye. That's somebody who is legitimately insane. Now if you look at that 512 matchup, Joe Scarborough, he has never lost a first round matchup in Hack Madness ever. This year might be the first year to see that.

Comfortably Smug (74:23)

I also want to say huge credit to the selection committee. All the thought we put into this news is like recently breaking as we're putting this together that Joe Amica's show is getting an hour cut from it.

Physician Guest (74:36)

Wow.

Ashbrook (74:37)

Interesting, interesting.

Comfortably Smug (74:38)

So like interesting. That's why he's a 12 seat folks.

Ashbrook (74:42)

Yeah, yeah. And they are cooking his wings. The foresight of the selection committee we know down see somebody who evidently Ms. Now has now come to the conclusion after the selection committee same thing. Down it goes. Huge fascinating stuff. So just remember you want to participate in all of this, you got to go to RuthlessPodcast.com navigate your way to the March or Hack Madness tournament. Select yourself and voting for the playing game. That's a newsy Lizza matchup, something that we've talked about. I know all of you are interested. That's going to go live over the weekend is the precursor the play into the real tournament which begins next week right there in your X account. Right Smug.

Comfortably Smug (75:26)

That's right. By the time you see this voting will be live on X at comfortably Smug for that play in game and on Monday that's when we start voting for the first round and that's going to decide it. But you have to go right now to RuthlessPodcast.com for fill out your brackets. I mean we love seeing the photos that folks sent from all across this country.

Ashbrook (75:48)

Oh my God.

Comfortably Smug (75:49)

I filled out my bracket. We've got our brackets going on in our office. It's a wonderful tradition. That's it.

Ashbrook (75:57)

We absolutely love it. It's the best time of the year. We this has been a tradition like unlike any other.

Comfortably Smug (76:03)

Unlike any other.

Ashbrook (76:05)

Unlike any other here on the Ruthless variety program. We love every single, single second of it. You got to go to RuthlessPodcast.com navigate your way to that Hack Madness. Fill out your bracket, participate online Uncomfortably Smugs X account to vote your way into who advances on this bad boy. We all have our favorites and we look forward to your comments as well on our analysis on all of this. Off your own analysis if you must and we might get back to you the very next episode with some of the very hottest takes with that, fellas, I think we did it.

Comfortably Smug (76:37)

I think so. Absolute banger of a show. Gentlemen, remember, James Talarico loves the meat. So until next time, minions. Keep the faith, hold the line and own the libs. We'll see you on Tuesday. Stay ruthless,

Host/Moderator (76:59)

Sa.