Ruthless Podcast Summary

Episode: How to Win Thanksgiving – Your Ruthless Thanksgiving Spectacular
Date: November 27, 2025
Hosts: Josh Holmes, Comfortably Smug, Michael Duncan, John Ashbrook

Episode Overview

This annual Thanksgiving episode of Ruthless delivers the show's signature irreverent conservative take on surviving—and dominating—holiday gatherings with liberal family members. The gang lays out a "prescription" of confrontational, unapologetic, and often tongue-in-cheek strategies for making Thanksgiving uncomfortable for their ideological opponents, all in the spirit of humorous bravado. Interwoven with football predictions and tales of family traditions, the episode is both a parody and a how-to guide for listeners looking to “own the libs” at the holiday table.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: The Ongoing Culture War at Thanksgiving

• The hosts riff on how “libs” feel compelled to bring activism to every family gathering, especially Thanksgiving.
  • John Ashbrook: "They think every opportunity, even if it’s with family, even if it’s Thanksgiving... I have to be an activist on this day." [00:00]
• The Ruthless stance: don’t avoid politics—bring it front and center.
  • Josh Holmes: "You insert it. You make sure that this isn't as uncomfortable as it could possibly get." [00:19]
• Mocking advice columns about “dreading” hateful politics at Thanksgiving and the rise of therapy culture post-2016.
  • Holmes (quoting an op-ed): "I've been going to a therapist since Trump got elected." [04:48]

2. The Ruthless Thanksgiving “Game Plan”

A. Preemptive Moves: Visual Triggers and Psychological Tactics

• Before anyone walks in, ensure left-wing relatives “know what they’re in for.”
  • Double up on Trump/Vance signs in the front yard. [10:56]
• Smug's proposal: Set the mood with the patriotic spectacle of the Creed halftime show on a loop throughout the house. [11:33]
• Michael Duncan ups the ante: Buy a live turkey so “lib relatives” witness the bird’s demise, mimicking viral Sarah Palin footage. [11:55]

B. Table Setup: Agitation by Design

• Scatter seating to maximize awkwardness: seat “the lesbian lib aunt” next to “the QAnon Republican uncle.” [14:52]
• Use custom Ruthless napkins boasting Trump’s electoral map victory as place settings. [14:25]
• At the overflow/kids’ table, slap an “Epstein Island” sign and seat “lib uncles” there as a jab at left-wing scandals. [13:03]
• Duncan’s extra-provocative tip: Set out namecards for only male relatives to “demonstrate that the patriarchy lives.” [16:02]

C. The Meal: Feast as Sport, Sides as Statement

• Ruthless-style Thanksgiving is "an eating contest": everyone’s plate must crack the digital scale or risk banishment. [17:25]
• Salad and “rabbit food” is scorned—only artery-clogging traditional sides are acceptable. [18:25]
  • Smug: "What I want to see is potatoes and sweet potatoes and other potatoes and corn... starch on starch on starch." [18:28]
• If a liberal asks for more vegetables, respond: "No kings," then toss the dish on the floor. [20:12]

D. Conversation: Go on Offense, Never Defense

• Insert politics into every lull in the conversation. Reiterate conservative talking points relentlessly, “mansplain” style. [21:49]
• Weaponize knowledge of relatives’ political donations, especially if there’s overlap with controversial figures like Jeffrey Epstein. [22:10]
• Stoke division among liberal attendees by encouraging “establishment Dem” and “AOC progressive” infighting. [22:38]
• Drop absurd or trollish legal takes, e.g., "I think there’s a plain interpretation that Trump can run for a third term." [25:54]
• Reference “Project 2026” in cryptic ways to trigger left-wing anxieties about authoritarianism. [27:11]
• If prayer is said, offer the chance to “pray to AOC,” and eject anyone who accepts. [19:15]

E. Gender Roles and “Alpha” Behavior

• Only men get prime seating and first servings; “don't bus a single dish” after the meal—leave the cleanup to others. [29:08], [29:25]
  • “My favorite part about drinking heavily is the fridge.” [30:02]

F. Drinking: No Inhibitions Allowed

• Begin with vodka in the morning, switch to bourbon early, and stay “brown water drunk” all afternoon. [29:40], [29:59]
• Pour wine to the rim, mix red and white, use a fishbowl glass, and bring it to the couch or recliner for football. [31:11]

3. Football Mania: Strategic Betting and Male Bonding

• Betting on every game, including Friday’s “Black Friday” game. Sandwich and drink in hand, the men settle in for napping, overeating, and loud football-watching while ignoring the chaos in the kitchen. [28:54], [31:53], [32:02]
  • “This is the thing that’s non-negotiable year in, year out… nothing does Thanksgiving better than Thanksgiving Day football.” [32:02]
• Hot takes and comedic arguments for each matchup (notable dislike for the Bengals-Ravens primetime game: “Who am I going to root for, ISIS or Al Qaeda? These teams suck” – Smug [36:00]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “This is the one day they’re forced to be courageous... now they actually have to go and show up at your house and have dinner, break bread with you.” – Smug [00:25]
• “Have them dread having to show up and deal with you. That’s the thing – you are the one who knocks.” – Smug [07:42]
• “You need to take any nightmare these people could have and make it a reality on this day.” – John Ashbrook [07:52]
• “Treat left wing rhetoric like a Venezuelan drug boat from the very top. Like this is an act of war.” – Josh Holmes [10:16]
• “At the kids table, you should just put a sign in the middle of it. It’s called Epstein Island.” – Josh Holmes [13:03]
• “Set up the table to maximize uncomfortability and violence... You want the lesbian lib aunt next to the QAnon Republican uncle.” – Smug [14:44]
• “The most Christian God centric prayer... and then when you’re finished, look directly at your lib relative and say, if you’d like to pray to AOC… then get up and kick them out of the house.” – Michael Duncan [19:15]
• “You have to have more sides than pronouns at the Democrat National Committee.” – Josh Holmes [19:46]
• “If any lib relative is... not touching their big plate and they ask you to pass another thing of green beans, you just tell them, ‘No kings’… and throw the dish on the floor.” – Josh Holmes [20:23]
• “Make all their nightmares come true. Like, it has to be a horrific experience for them. That’s the whole point of the Ruthless Thanksgiving spectacular.” – John Ashbrook [25:24]
• “If you could get brown water drunk, start talking misogyny, you’re on the right path.” – Josh Holmes [30:06]
• “If you wake to that – leftovers and crying relatives – you’ve been doing it right.” – John Ashbrook [39:45]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Opening and Tone Setting: [00:00–07:42]
• Deep Dive into “How to Own the Libs”: [10:16–20:45]
• Table Dynamics & Gender Jokes: [14:25–16:31]
• Food, Eating Contests, and Plate Metrics: [16:52–20:12]
• Conversation Tactics and Political Potshots: [21:49–26:58]
• Project 2026 and Trigger Topics: [27:11–28:20]
• Post-Meal Protocols: Drinking and Football: [28:54–32:02]
• Football Predictions & Spirited Banter: [32:02–41:25]
• Closing Reflection and Legacy of the Thanksgiving Episode: [41:25–end]

Summary Flow and Utility

This episode is both a satirical how-to and a parody of ultra-confrontational holiday politics. The hosts embrace and exaggerate the trope of the “conservative family’s Thanksgiving agitator,” offering a layered blend of actual advice, in-jokes, and intentionally over-the-top recommendations aimed at listeners who both love and lampoon right-wing culture war bluster. From seating arrangements meant to spark conflict to plate-weight competitions and football-bet-fueled inebriation, the hosts keep the comedy fast, loud, and partisan. Notably, they wrap up with a call for listener input: “What’s the best way to deal with your liberal family members on Thanksgiving?” [30:02]

If you’ve never listened, this summary captures the content, style, comedy, and winking self-awareness of Ruthless’s Thanksgiving tradition—equal parts culture war cosplay and community inside joke.

Listener Call to Action:
“What is the best way to deal with liberal family members on Thanksgiving?” (Josh Holmes [30:06])
The hosts encourage feedback, promising to read responses in the next episode.