Ruthless Podcast Summary
Episode: How to Win Thanksgiving â Your Ruthless Thanksgiving Spectacular
Date: November 27, 2025
Hosts: Josh Holmes, Comfortably Smug, Michael Duncan, John Ashbrook
Episode Overview
This annual Thanksgiving episode of Ruthless delivers the show's signature irreverent conservative take on survivingâand dominatingâholiday gatherings with liberal family members. The gang lays out a "prescription" of confrontational, unapologetic, and often tongue-in-cheek strategies for making Thanksgiving uncomfortable for their ideological opponents, all in the spirit of humorous bravado. Interwoven with football predictions and tales of family traditions, the episode is both a parody and a how-to guide for listeners looking to âown the libsâ at the holiday table.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Setting the Stage: The Ongoing Culture War at Thanksgiving
- The hosts riff on how âlibsâ feel compelled to bring activism to every family gathering, especially Thanksgiving.
- John Ashbrook: "They think every opportunity, even if itâs with family, even if itâs Thanksgiving... I have to be an activist on this day." [00:00]
- The Ruthless stance: donât avoid politicsâbring it front and center.
- Josh Holmes: "You insert it. You make sure that this isn't as uncomfortable as it could possibly get." [00:19]
- Mocking advice columns about âdreadingâ hateful politics at Thanksgiving and the rise of therapy culture post-2016.
- Holmes (quoting an op-ed): "I've been going to a therapist since Trump got elected." [04:48]
2. The Ruthless Thanksgiving âGame Planâ
A. Preemptive Moves: Visual Triggers and Psychological Tactics
- Before anyone walks in, ensure left-wing relatives âknow what theyâre in for.â
- Double up on Trump/Vance signs in the front yard. [10:56]
- Smug's proposal: Set the mood with the patriotic spectacle of the Creed halftime show on a loop throughout the house. [11:33]
- Michael Duncan ups the ante: Buy a live turkey so âlib relativesâ witness the birdâs demise, mimicking viral Sarah Palin footage. [11:55]
B. Table Setup: Agitation by Design
- Scatter seating to maximize awkwardness: seat âthe lesbian lib auntâ next to âthe QAnon Republican uncle.â [14:52]
- Use custom Ruthless napkins boasting Trumpâs electoral map victory as place settings. [14:25]
- At the overflow/kidsâ table, slap an âEpstein Islandâ sign and seat âlib unclesâ there as a jab at left-wing scandals. [13:03]
- Duncanâs extra-provocative tip: Set out namecards for only male relatives to âdemonstrate that the patriarchy lives.â [16:02]
C. The Meal: Feast as Sport, Sides as Statement
- Ruthless-style Thanksgiving is "an eating contest": everyoneâs plate must crack the digital scale or risk banishment. [17:25]
- Salad and ârabbit foodâ is scornedâonly artery-clogging traditional sides are acceptable. [18:25]
- Smug: "What I want to see is potatoes and sweet potatoes and other potatoes and corn... starch on starch on starch." [18:28]
- If a liberal asks for more vegetables, respond: "No kings," then toss the dish on the floor. [20:12]
D. Conversation: Go on Offense, Never Defense
- Insert politics into every lull in the conversation. Reiterate conservative talking points relentlessly, âmansplainâ style. [21:49]
- Weaponize knowledge of relativesâ political donations, especially if thereâs overlap with controversial figures like Jeffrey Epstein. [22:10]
- Stoke division among liberal attendees by encouraging âestablishment Demâ and âAOC progressiveâ infighting. [22:38]
- Drop absurd or trollish legal takes, e.g., "I think thereâs a plain interpretation that Trump can run for a third term." [25:54]
- Reference âProject 2026â in cryptic ways to trigger left-wing anxieties about authoritarianism. [27:11]
- If prayer is said, offer the chance to âpray to AOC,â and eject anyone who accepts. [19:15]
E. Gender Roles and âAlphaâ Behavior
- Only men get prime seating and first servings; âdon't bus a single dishâ after the mealâleave the cleanup to others. [29:08], [29:25]
- âMy favorite part about drinking heavily is the fridge.â [30:02]
F. Drinking: No Inhibitions Allowed
- Begin with vodka in the morning, switch to bourbon early, and stay âbrown water drunkâ all afternoon. [29:40], [29:59]
- Pour wine to the rim, mix red and white, use a fishbowl glass, and bring it to the couch or recliner for football. [31:11]
3. Football Mania: Strategic Betting and Male Bonding
- Betting on every game, including Fridayâs âBlack Fridayâ game. Sandwich and drink in hand, the men settle in for napping, overeating, and loud football-watching while ignoring the chaos in the kitchen. [28:54], [31:53], [32:02]
- âThis is the thing thatâs non-negotiable year in, year out⌠nothing does Thanksgiving better than Thanksgiving Day football.â [32:02]
- Hot takes and comedic arguments for each matchup (notable dislike for the Bengals-Ravens primetime game: âWho am I going to root for, ISIS or Al Qaeda? These teams suckâ â Smug [36:00]).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- âThis is the one day theyâre forced to be courageous... now they actually have to go and show up at your house and have dinner, break bread with you.â â Smug [00:25]
- âHave them dread having to show up and deal with you. Thatâs the thing â you are the one who knocks.â â Smug [07:42]
- âYou need to take any nightmare these people could have and make it a reality on this day.â â John Ashbrook [07:52]
- âTreat left wing rhetoric like a Venezuelan drug boat from the very top. Like this is an act of war.â â Josh Holmes [10:16]
- âAt the kids table, you should just put a sign in the middle of it. Itâs called Epstein Island.â â Josh Holmes [13:03]
- âSet up the table to maximize uncomfortability and violence... You want the lesbian lib aunt next to the QAnon Republican uncle.â â Smug [14:44]
- âThe most Christian God centric prayer... and then when youâre finished, look directly at your lib relative and say, if youâd like to pray to AOC⌠then get up and kick them out of the house.â â Michael Duncan [19:15]
- âYou have to have more sides than pronouns at the Democrat National Committee.â â Josh Holmes [19:46]
- âIf any lib relative is... not touching their big plate and they ask you to pass another thing of green beans, you just tell them, âNo kingsâ⌠and throw the dish on the floor.â â Josh Holmes [20:23]
- âMake all their nightmares come true. Like, it has to be a horrific experience for them. Thatâs the whole point of the Ruthless Thanksgiving spectacular.â â John Ashbrook [25:24]
- âIf you could get brown water drunk, start talking misogyny, youâre on the right path.â â Josh Holmes [30:06]
- âIf you wake to that â leftovers and crying relatives â youâve been doing it right.â â John Ashbrook [39:45]
Timestamps for Important Segments
- Opening and Tone Setting: [00:00â07:42]
- Deep Dive into âHow to Own the Libsâ: [10:16â20:45]
- Table Dynamics & Gender Jokes: [14:25â16:31]
- Food, Eating Contests, and Plate Metrics: [16:52â20:12]
- Conversation Tactics and Political Potshots: [21:49â26:58]
- Project 2026 and Trigger Topics: [27:11â28:20]
- Post-Meal Protocols: Drinking and Football: [28:54â32:02]
- Football Predictions & Spirited Banter: [32:02â41:25]
- Closing Reflection and Legacy of the Thanksgiving Episode: [41:25âend]
Summary Flow and Utility
This episode is both a satirical how-to and a parody of ultra-confrontational holiday politics. The hosts embrace and exaggerate the trope of the âconservative familyâs Thanksgiving agitator,â offering a layered blend of actual advice, in-jokes, and intentionally over-the-top recommendations aimed at listeners who both love and lampoon right-wing culture war bluster. From seating arrangements meant to spark conflict to plate-weight competitions and football-bet-fueled inebriation, the hosts keep the comedy fast, loud, and partisan. Notably, they wrap up with a call for listener input: âWhatâs the best way to deal with your liberal family members on Thanksgiving?â [30:02]
If youâve never listened, this summary captures the content, style, comedy, and winking self-awareness of Ruthlessâs Thanksgiving traditionâequal parts culture war cosplay and community inside joke.
Listener Call to Action:
âWhat is the best way to deal with liberal family members on Thanksgiving?â (Josh Holmes [30:06])
The hosts encourage feedback, promising to read responses in the next episode.
