Ruthless 500th Episode Spectacular!

Summary

Ruthless Podcast: 500th Episode Spectacular!

Release Date: February 20, 2025
Hosts: Josh Holmes, Comfortably Smug, Michael Duncan, and John Ashbrook
Guests: Mary Katharine Ham, Senator John Kennedy, Katie Pavlich, Senator Tom Cotton, Governor Brian Kemp
Duration: Approximately 2 hours

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1. Introduction and Celebrations

The 500th episode of the Ruthless Podcast kicked off with heartfelt reflections from the hosts. Michael Duncan expressed disbelief at reaching this milestone, stating, “We didn’t think we’d make it past, like, three” [00:00]. Comfortably Smug humorously credited 499 past mistakes for their success, adding, “This is our 500th episode, and this will be the first episode that my wife has listened to” [00:04]. The hosts celebrated their journey, emphasizing the camaraderie and dedication that brought them to this significant point.

Notable Quote:
“Keep the faith, hold the line, and own the libs.” – John Ashbrook [01:03]

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2. Reflecting on Past Episodes

The hosts reminisced about memorable moments from their extensive run. Comfortably Smug highlighted the episode "Scandal at CNN," praising its creative and humorous take on media scandals: “It’s so pure. You could crush it up and snort it. It’s so pure” [05:00]. Michael Duncan nodded in agreement, emphasizing the ease with which they could generate engaging content among friends.

Notable Quote:
“We slide it across the desk, and it’s the exact same idea. You can’t make that up.” – John Ashbrook [03:00]

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3. Interviews and Guest Highlights

The episode featured a series of high-profile guests who contributed to the celebratory atmosphere:

• Mary Katharine Ham: As a conservative commentator, Mary provided insightful commentary on maintaining conservative values. She quipped, “You made me leave my house” [20:14], highlighting her commitment to the show despite her federal work obligations.

• Senator John Kennedy: Kennedy engaged in lively discussions about media integrity and political strategies, asserting, “You never know who’s behind this” [21:36]. His interactions with the hosts were both humorous and thought-provoking, addressing issues like tax policies and governmental responses.

• Katie Pavlich: Bringing her expertise from Fox News, Katie participated in games and offered commentary on political happenings, sharing personal anecdotes like, “I can't believe you made me come after Kennedy” [48:05].

• Senator Tom Cotton: Cotton discussed his new book, "7 Things You Can't Say About China," delving into U.S.-China relations and media influence: “We have a deliberate and well-considered strategy to replace the United States as the world's dominant economic and military superpower” [72:22].

• Governor Brian Kemp: Kemp highlighted the importance of Republican governors working with the federal government, emphasizing border security and economic policies: “We've held our Republican majorities and our House majorities” [95:20].

Notable Quote:
“What's the best way to reveal the fake con that this guy's been running is to say I'm the real conservative.” – John Ashbrook [118:51]

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4. Interactive Games and Segments

The hosts introduced several engaging games that showcased their wit and political acumen:

• DemJournos: A game where the hosts identified statements made by journalists versus those made by Democrat operatives. Comfortably Smug humorously struggled with the complexity of some statements, leading to lively debates [22:19-34:05].

• Snark Tank: Inspired by Shark Tank, this segment involved the hosts pitching three government programs—two real and one fake—for the audience to guess the impostor. Comfortably Smug’s aggressive satire and playful insults kept the atmosphere lively [50:02-60:23].

• King of the Hill: A signature game where former Republicans and disillusioned conservatives competed. The hosts mockingly compared the contestants to iconic figures like Ali and Frazier, blending humor with sharp political commentary [105:07-119:10].

Notable Quote:
“We're fighting fire with fire. That is a nuclear weapon.” – Michael Duncan [112:15]

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5. Key Political Discussions

Throughout the episode, the hosts delved into pressing political issues with their characteristic no-holds-barred analysis:

• Medicare and Biden Policies: Michael Duncan criticized President Biden’s handling of Medicare, describing it as “breaking to death” and urged listeners to “call Congress and urge them to end the Biden pill penalty” [00:22-00:51].

• Media Influence and Conservative Values: Senator Tom Cotton and other guests discussed the pervasive influence of Chinese communism in American media and the necessity of maintaining conservative principles. Cotton emphasized the need to counteract media narratives that favor authoritarian regimes: “China has amassed massive influence in our society” [72:22].

• Artificial Intelligence and Economic Policies: The conversation shifted to AI, with Duncan linking it to national security and economic supremacy. He questioned China’s advancements in AI and its implications for American leadership [70:55-72:22].

Notable Quote:
“If you can just throw off something just a little bit, 1, 2%, maybe it makes the difference.” – John Ashbrook [12:57]

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6. Humorous and Personal Moments

The hosts kept the tone light with personal anecdotes and humorous interactions:

• Editing Struggles: Comfortably Smug and John Ashbrook shared laughs over their initial attempts at audio editing, likening themselves to “Avicii in GarageBand” [04:19-04:36].

• Guest Banter: Interactions with guests like Senator Tom Cotton included playful jabs and humorous exchanges about personal habits and political stances, adding a relatable and entertaining layer to the discussions [60:23-65:01].

• Fashion and Props: The hosts often commented on each other’s attire, using humor to lighten the intense political discourse, such as complimenting sweaters and hats in jest [78:19-80:38].

Notable Quote:
“How dare you. This is a Stetson.” – Comfortably Smug [36:21]

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7. Concluding Remarks and Future Plans

As the episode neared its end, the hosts expressed immense gratitude to their loyal listeners, referring to them as family and integral to their success. They shared plans for expanding the show's reach with bigger venues and more interactive content, aiming to continue fostering a community-driven platform. Michael Duncan summed up the sentiment, saying, “We’re going to do a lot more of this stuff. So please come along the ride with us” [75:52-77:20].

Notable Quote:
“The most important thing in politics is loyalty. These are people that made our show right.” – Comfortably Smug [122:07]

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Conclusion

The 500th episode of the Ruthless Podcast was a landmark celebration filled with reflective moments, spirited discussions, and engaging interactions. The hosts successfully balanced humor with serious political analysis, reinforcing their commitment to delivering unfiltered conservative perspectives. With high-profile guests and dynamic segments, this episode underscored the podcast’s enduring relevance and the strong community support that propels it forward.

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Highlighted Quotes:

• “We didn’t think we’d make it past, like, three” – Michael Duncan [00:00]
• “Keep the faith, hold the line, and own the libs.” – John Ashbrook [01:03]
• “We slide it across the desk, and it’s the exact same idea. You can’t make that up.” – John Ashbrook [03:00]
• “How dare you. This is a Stetson.” – Comfortably Smug [36:21]
• “The most important thing in politics is loyalty. These are people that made our show right.” – Comfortably Smug [122:07]

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of the Ruthless Podcast’s milestone episode, providing an engaging overview for both long-time listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Michael Duncan]

You all are responsible for the reason we got this far. Frankly, we didn't think we'd make it.

[Comfortably Smug]

Past, like, three, 499 mistakes. And then we got here. And I want to point out that this is our 500th episode, and this will be the first episode that my wife has listened to.

[Michael Duncan]

Is that right?

[Comfortably Smug]

She's up there.

[John Ashbrook]

We finally beat Medicare.

[Comfortably Smug]

He's right. He did beat Medicare.

[Michael Duncan]

He beat it to death. Joe Biden's legacy for seniors. He raided Medicare, made premiums skyrocket, and drove up drug costs. Worse, the Biden pill penalty is already slashing the development of affordable drugs, forcing seniors to pay the price of Biden's failed policy. Biden broke Medicare, but President Trump can fix it. Call Congress and urge them to end the Biden pill penalty.

[Duncan]

Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please.

[Comfortably Smug]

Just catching strays over here.

[Michael Duncan]

You're in for a hell of a show.

[John Ashbrook]

Keep the faith, hold the line, and own the libs.

[Duncan]

It's time for our main event.

[Michael Duncan]

Wow. Hello, and welcome to the Ruthless Variety Program. Yeah, it's been a long time since we played this venue. It's been three years.

[John Ashbrook]

Three years since we. Our first live show.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, our first live show. And the whole idea of what we're doing tonight is. 500. 500. You all are responsible for the reason we got this far. Frankly, we didn't think we'd make it past, like, three. Yes.

[Comfortably Smug]

499 mistakes. And then we got here.

[Michael Duncan]

So here we are. I have a whole list of things that we need to get to tonight, and I'm going to keep it an orderly process. But look, I thought we would start with a little reminiscing. And some of you are OGs, raise your hand if you have been since the very beginning.

[Comfortably Smug]

Wow.

[Michael Duncan]

Yes.

[Comfortably Smug]

Wow.

[Michael Duncan]

Yes. Hell, yeah. Solid. God, I love that. But we've picked up a lot around, like, in the last, I don't know, couple years.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah.

[Michael Duncan]

And it's been real hot in the last couple months.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah. Rocket fuel.

[Michael Duncan]

Rocket fuel. But we have a different viewpoint on where we all were collectively sold on this thing. That it was actually gonna work. Smug. What was Yours was late.

[John Ashbrook]

Well, so here's the thing. So I came up with this idea. No. But the true story is I used to have these off the record, confidential happy hours in New York city and in D.C. and I invited these gentlemen to one of the ones I'm hosting.

[Michael Duncan]

He pals around with journos. You heard it here first.

[Comfortably Smug]

Wow.

[Michael Duncan]

That happens.

[John Ashbrook]

And we had a great time. I mean, they like drinking Bourbon talking shit. So it worked perfectly. And I said to them, I have an idea. We should chat about it. And Holmes is like, okay, drop by my office sometime next week and let's talk about it. And I showed up, I had this whole PowerPoint ready of like, okay, well, there should be a media company that has a podcast that uses satire and is funny and goes after the left and journos. And so I show up in my PowerPoint and I put it down on the desk. I was like, so here's what I was thinking. And Holmes was like, well, okay, I put some things together. Here's what I was thinking. We slide it across the desk, and it's the exact same idea. You can't make that up.

[Michael Duncan]

No, literally is exactly the same thing. We have the exact same idea at the exact same time. And that sort of coalesced it. But then, you know, executing it is a different story. Right. When you go about trying to do it, I mean, everyone in the world, I don't care who you are, everyone, anywhere, has been like, I can do a podcast. I can do that stuff. And, like, the only difference between a podcast that you've heard of and every other one of your friends is that, like, you just didn't hear of it because everybody's tried it. Right? And that was. My point of view is like, I don't know. I mean, is anybody gonna listen to this?

[Comfortably Smug]

No. It's fucking hard. It's like Ashbrook and I were like Avicii in GarageBand trying to figure out how levels work.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, he's.

[Comfortably Smug]

He's. I'm not joking.

[Michael Duncan]

He's not exaggerating. These guys taught themselves to edit audio, and it really was.

[Comfortably Smug]

Do you want to know what a noise gate is? It's fucking complicated. Yeah.

[Duncan]

When you're sitting in bed at night trying to edit a show and your wife is like, wait a minute, what are you doing?

[Comfortably Smug]

Again, I want a low moment, and I want to point out that this is our 500th episode, and this will be the first episode that my wife has listened to.

[Michael Duncan]

Is that right?

[Comfortably Smug]

She's up there.

[Michael Duncan]

No, my wife is up here, too.

[Comfortably Smug]

She's like, I get enough of you.

[Michael Duncan]

He's here. I can't see you, honey, because of the lights. But I can tell you she was here at the last live show. This will be number two. This will be number two that she hates the sound of my voice, believe it or not. But tell me the episode. Let's start with Duncan. Tell me the episode that you were.

[Comfortably Smug]

Like, okay, okay, so I have a great one. Okay, so. I hate the fucking media. I hate the media so much. And it's so great to have a platform in which you can hang out with your friends and drink bourbon and make fun of them. And for that reason, my favorite episode of all time is the first 15 minutes of an episode called Scandal at CNN. And if you've listened to this episode, I think it's the. It's the best 15 minutes ever put to audio. You could. You could crush it up and snort it. It's so pure. It's. It's. It's. It's. Knock three times.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay. You might remember this. This is when Zucker was having an affair with the chick up the. Up the. On the next floor of the same apartment building.

[Michael Duncan]

She happened to work for him.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah. And they blamed it on Covid. Do you remember this?

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

And so we decided. It maybe took us five minutes being like, we're gonna make fun of this, and we're gonna do a whole intro to the episode.

[Michael Duncan]

We're gonna sing a song.

[Comfortably Smug]

We're gonna sing a song. We're gonna sing knock three times. Knock, you know, on the pipes.

[Michael Duncan]

Give him. Give him a verse.

[Comfortably Smug]

Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, that's it. That's it.

[Comfortably Smug]

Twice on the pipes if the answer is no, that's it. I'm a darling. Anyway, so we did that whole thing, and only when you're in a group of your friends can you do something like that, that fast. You're like. You're immediately in a fucking writer's room, and you're like, we're gonna make this happen. And Hollywood hen, God bless her, she's like, holding a vase and a hammer and doing the knock three times into a microphone. This was audio only. And so, like. Like, also.

[Michael Duncan]

That was easier to do in the audio only.

[John Ashbrook]

Yeah, Right.

[Michael Duncan]

Like, if you had to see us doing that shit, you'd be like, I don't know.

[Comfortably Smug]

I don't know if these guys got it. But I. I just say that to say it's. It's an example of the show just being really creative on a. On a. On a. Crunch. And I really. I just love that. Listen to it sometime. It's fantastic.

[Michael Duncan]

It's really good. How about you over there, Smash?

[Duncan]

So my favorite moment of the show was the live show that we did right here at Pearl street just three years ago. And. And I gotta tell you.

[Michael Duncan]

Was anybody here?

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah.

[John Ashbrook]

Wow.

[Michael Duncan]

That's amazing. Okay.

[Duncan]

It was. It was so. And we've done a few live shows since then, but there's so much content that we do. Just us laughing. And we are actually friends. We do. Like, part of the magic of the show is friendship. And what was so special about that moment and what's so special about our other live shows is that we get to spend time with people who are listening to the program and who actually enjoy it. And you. You get to hear from them, you get to talk to them. And that's what's so great about tonight.

[Michael Duncan]

It's such a surreal feeling, by the way, just seeing all your faces, many of them very familiar. But knowing that what you do, you're crying out, you know, I mean, we got day jobs and you just. You grind these things out. You're like, nope, we're going to do it. It doesn't feel like work to us. It's always felt like a release.

[Duncan]

It doesn't. The best content comes from the people who listen to the show. I mean, every single. Every single show, we ask a question and then we get answers. And the best content comes from the answers that people provide. Like, and subscribe if you wish to op.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We invented that.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, you invented that. How about you, Smuggles?

[John Ashbrook]

I would say it had to be the J.D. vance fishing trip.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah. Hell yeah.

[John Ashbrook]

Which was the most amazing thing.

[Michael Duncan]

Did you guys all see that?

[John Ashbrook]

So cheaters.

[Michael Duncan]

Yes. Yes. I see you.

[Comfortably Smug]

No, he didn't cheat.

[Michael Duncan]

I see you. And you are right. And don't ever anybody let you tell you you're wrong. You're right. He's a cheater.

[John Ashbrook]

I wish we would have done like a behind the scenes of.

[Comfortably Smug]

Of.

[John Ashbrook]

Of that episode where, oh, yeah, we're driven to the middle of the woods.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah.

[John Ashbrook]

To. It looked like a kill house full of Navy SEALs who were like, okay, Bobcat is in the building.

[Michael Duncan]

No, it's so true.

[John Ashbrook]

And I'm like, we're not here to do an interview. They're going to kill us all.

[Michael Duncan]

So it's so true. Just to paint the picture, we're. We're like. It's like 5:00 in the morning. You got to go fishing early, you know, so we get up and we're driving literally into the middle of the woods and we take this dirt road. Remember this dirt road?

[John Ashbrook]

It was 100%. They're gonna do me like Joe Pesci. They're gonna beat us with baseballs. Baseball bats. And beat.

[Comfortably Smug]

I was just waiting for the laser pointer to go between my eyes.

[Michael Duncan]

We take a dirt road and then all of A sudden they're like, hang a left. You hang a left and you all of a sudden pull up and there's like a dude with an M16. And you're like, oh, no. Like, this is. How am I gonna explain this to my wife?

[John Ashbrook]

There's five guys who shot bin Laden.

[Comfortably Smug]

It's like, we to do a podcast. I'm funny.

[Michael Duncan]

I'm really funny. Oh, God, it was a nightmare.

[John Ashbrook]

And then when we actually get on the boats and. And we hang out with J.D. i know everyone tries to say this of like, oh, my gosh, he's the most. He is truly the most normal dude you have ever met in your life. And I. I want to say I was right, because people were like, how's JD Going to perform in this debate against waltz and everything? I was like, do you people not know where he has been? Do you not know what he's been through? Debate is the easiest thing he's done in his life. This guy knows real struggle, and he destroyed him. It's because he's a normal American. And the left completely fell out of touch with what real Americans are capable of and who real Americans are. And that was so good. And I thought it came through so clear.

[Michael Duncan]

Woo. Woo.

[John Ashbrook]

You saw that whole episode and you're like, that's not just J.D. vance, that's me.

[Michael Duncan]

They thought a winning strategy was to demonize him to a point where it's. Remember the weird thing?

[John Ashbrook]

He's so weird. He's hanging out with this kid, fishing.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, he's so weird. He's unrelatable. He's crazy. He's like this weird Silicon Valley guy. And then you saw him at the debate stage, and everybody's like, it doesn't seem that weird to me. And then he goes fishing the next day, and it's like, it just shattered a narrative. They thought a winning strategy was to try to demonize something because they thought they would never get to know him because he's in the shadow of Donald Trump. And it just, like, if you can just throw off something just a little bit, 1, 2%, maybe it makes the difference. And so we can demonize this guy to a point where, like, oh, he's weird. He's not like us. And then he showed up and everybody's like, mmm, a lot more normal than Tim Walls. A lot more. The guy's like, gallivanting overstage, waiting to agree with JD Vance on everything he had to say during a debate, you know? Yeah. I mean, it was. It was amazing. I'm so glad we got that opportunity. Also, you can't catch a lot of fish. Just word of the wise. You can't catch a lot of fish when there is like, 17 Navy gunboats behind you and helicopters floating over. Over top. They. They don't respond the most.

[Comfortably Smug]

Fishing trip Smug caught a fish. He wrestled it from the depths. It just happened to be very cold. Its eyes were glassy, very cold morning. From the depths, he caught it.

[Michael Duncan]

I named it Costco. Okay, so, well, mine was when I knew this program was gonna work was the first Thanksgiving Day episode. How many people listen to the Thanksgiving Day episode?

[John Ashbrook]

Great crowd. We got some real ones from day one.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, geez. So the first one, like, we're kind of toying around. We knew we had the same sense of humor, like, kind of irreverent, making fun of stuff, but it was dark times. We just lost an election in the worst possible way. Everybody was really negative about a whole bunch of things. You were in Egypt, and I'm pretty sure you had, like, the worst OG Covid of all time.

[John Ashbrook]

So I had to go through France, and I couldn't claim I had Covid. Right. Because they were locking up Americans.

[Michael Duncan]

I mean, serious, I'm learning this now for the first time.

[John Ashbrook]

This is the wild thing, is US Citizens at Charles de Gaulle.

[Michael Duncan]

You had Covid before you got to Egypt.

[John Ashbrook]

Yeah, no, I had Covid on the way back. So when I'm on the episode, I was like, I don't have Covid.

[Comfortably Smug]

He was breathing so shallow. I remember we did the pre production meeting before the Thanksgiving episode. And this is back before, like, when me and Ashbrook were just doing the levels and I was avicii and. And I remember doing the pre production meeting and being on Zoom and I texted Holmes and being like, I think Smug's gonna die.

[Michael Duncan]

He literally said, if you hadn't seen.

[Duncan]

Him, you would have thought the same thing.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, he sought. He sent a sincere text that said his breathing is really shallow. I was like, all right, but there's a show to do, so.

[John Ashbrook]

So I was like, in case the French government is listening, I am very healthy. I just can't breathe right now.

[Michael Duncan]

Jet lag?

[John Ashbrook]

Yeah, a jet lag.

[Michael Duncan]

Well, no, but this is the best part. So we get into this, there's no script. This is the beauty of the first year. No script, no nothing. We literally planned nothing. We just USB mics in the side of the computer, and we're like, all right, we're ready to go. And the first Thanksgiving Day episode, we just hit a Cadence, where we're like, dunking. Dunking on what your family is like. When you have, like, libs at the table and you get into, like, punting the turkey.

[Comfortably Smug]

Punting the turkey. That was the best. I remember just listening to that and being like, it was the best.

[John Ashbrook]

It's because, like, you know, now we're in the good times, but there were the dark times where journalists were like, how to deal with your fascist uncle. And it's like, you people are like this around your family. This is for real. You're actually completely insane.

[Michael Duncan]

So anyway, that's when I knew that things were good. But all of you know, things are good because you've liked and subscribed. And we're in a very different position here in the Ruthless Variety program than we used to be. And there was an award bestowed upon us. Smaug, I'd like you to stand here for a minute.

[Comfortably Smug]

Stand up, Smug. Stand up.

[John Ashbrook]

I didn't even know about this.

[Michael Duncan]

He didn't know about this. This is gonna be embarrassing for all of us.

[John Ashbrook]

Oh, no way.

[Michael Duncan]

I need to find a position to.

[John Ashbrook]

This is the second greatest day of my life. Wife.

[Michael Duncan]

This right here is the button. You, sir, are now the new king of YouTube.

[John Ashbrook]

I always knew I could do it.

[Michael Duncan]

That's the thing. It's just been a pleasure to be on for the ride.

[John Ashbrook]

You all can look at it before I take it home. That is so awesome. Oh, my God.

[Michael Duncan]

So this goes over your mantle?

[John Ashbrook]

Yes, 100%. This is the dream. Thank you all so much. You all made this happen.

[Michael Duncan]

You all made it happen. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

[John Ashbrook]

Oh, man, that's awesome.

[Michael Duncan]

And the funny thing is about the YouTube thing is this is like relatively recent. I think we've only done about a year of video. I mean, we were an audio only thing where much of we were in Washington D.C. you all were kind of the base of this thing. People were practitioners in the field, people who just wanted to laugh on the way to work, knew a little bit about politics. You're either involved in it or you're interested in it. And he wanted to be a part of something that was not just so negative and shitty. And you just wanted to have a laugh.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah.

[Michael Duncan]

And then, like, Wolf came along. I think he was the guy that brought this thing out and he was like, oh, let's do some video. We set up some cameras. Next thing we know, we built a studio. And now Smug has got something to put over the fireplace.

[John Ashbrook]

They made a mistake. They said Ruthless podcast. Not comfortably Smug they can fix that. I was so. I was sweating both. I was like, here comes the confirmat. They're done with me.

[Michael Duncan]

Well, so anyway, there it is, pal. Congratulations.

[John Ashbrook]

Thank you all so much. Really, from the bottom of my heart.

[Michael Duncan]

I've got too much stuff here. Like, I. Can I give you.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah.

[John Ashbrook]

Yes, please do.

[Michael Duncan]

I'm just going to give you. You just put that under your seat and deal with that. I got too much stuff here. Listen, we've got an incredible lineup tonight and fun guests and everybody who we thought would be representative of the build of this show. People you've heard over a period of time here, you've laughed along with. You understand, who understand us, who ultimately understand you.

[Comfortably Smug]

American investment, more jobs, higher wages. It was President Trump's promise when he championed the tax cuts and Jobs act and American businesses delivered, investing in US Manufacturing and equipment, increasing wages for American workers and creating over half a million new jobs. That's why he's fighting to do it again for families, workers and businesses. Tell Congress to extend and strengthen President Trump's tax reform.

[Michael Duncan]

The first one we wanted to bring out, Mary Katharine Ham.

[Comfortably Smug]

Let's go. Let's go.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Thank you.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, it's so good to see you.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Hello, everyone.

[Michael Duncan]

Did you ever think this would be a serious thing?

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Is it a serious thing?

[Michael Duncan]

Not really.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

I have to say, I know it's customary, especially on an anniversary like this big milestone, to bring you guys something, and I brought nothing because I'm like a federal worker. I'm doing the bare minimum. And I'm a complaint. You made me leave my house.

[Duncan]

You know, we got a lot of conservatives here in the building, and what we thought was important is that we needed somebody, some conservative to be the man who is not. If something terrible should happen here tonight. So Guy Benson is not here just so he can carry on with the show.

[Michael Duncan]

He's a succession plan for the program.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Yes.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

He is saved somewhere in an undisclosed location.

[Michael Duncan]

That's right. That's right. Absolutely.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

I did wear my Daytona jacket for your 500th.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah. Did you guys hear this?

[John Ashbrook]

Awesome.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

And by the way, this is Winston cup, okay?

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Like, we're not.

[Michael Duncan]

That's how you know it's real. It's a Winston Cup.

[Comfortably Smug]

Can we smoke cigarettes up here?

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah. No, they're not gonna. Let's not ask that question.

[Comfortably Smug]

That's not allowed. Okay, let's not ask that question. I thought I'd ask soon.

[Michael Duncan]

It's not American until we can smoke on airplanes again, by the way. Soon. And it should be like What? Seats separated far apart.

[John Ashbrook]

Cigarettes, suits and ties, and two entrances, you know, like, why do I have to use the same one as coach?

[Senator John Kennedy]

You.

[Michael Duncan]

That is exactly what.

[John Ashbrook]

They just walk by and stare at me. It's like, why.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

My kids are touching you with their jammy hands.

[Michael Duncan]

We're the working class party now, Smugs.

[John Ashbrook]

Just bring my drink and let me smoke.

[Michael Duncan]

So you've allowed us to put you in a situation where you're playing a game with us. I know. So we asked last episode what we were going to do. Like, let the audience basically decide which games we're going to play today. And I think we have a wide range of responses. We got like, five or six games. Everybody, you know, is kind of familiar with these things. One of them is the flagship. But this is the first one we got. Comment one, please, if you wouldn't mind throwing this up. This is from Mitzi Dowden. I love Dem or Journal. We do, too. Don't we, folks? Don't we, folks? Demerjourno.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah. So demo. Obviously, it's not our signature game. I would say it's like.

[Michael Duncan]

But it's an og.

[Comfortably Smug]

It's an og. It's the second most popular, I would say. And typically, the way that we play this is I read four comments, four tweets, four articles, three of which are made, you know, by journos, and one is a Democrat operative. And my friends here have to decide who is the Democrat. And it's a tough decision.

[Michael Duncan]

I think it's the hardest game. I mean, other than in the Kamala days. Veeper. Veep. Remember that game?

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah.

[Michael Duncan]

Other than that game. This is the hardest one.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Well, no, it's tough because you have, like, a rabidly partisan Ivy League theater kid who runs a nationwide pack for the blue team, and then you also have a Dem operative.

[Comfortably Smug]

Right, Right.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

So, like, it's in the name. It's tough.

[Comfortably Smug]

And it's especially difficult during times like right now. Right. Where Donald Trump's ascendant, this new administration, and all this sort of stuff. You're gonna have so much fun playing this game. I think we should just hit that music.

[John Ashbrook]

Want to remember.

[Comfortably Smug]

Nobody knows. Okay.

[Michael Duncan]

Is it a stanza long?

[John Ashbrook]

It's a stanza long.

[Comfortably Smug]

It's a stanza too long. And we'll never change it. I don't care.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

It has harmony.

[Michael Duncan]

Who votes too long? Who votes not long enough?

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah, not long enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Duncan]

Nobody knows.

[Michael Duncan]

Fuck yeah. Nobody knows.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay, statement number one. President Donald Trump and his billionaire advisor, Elon Musk have sent shockwaves through the federal government by attempting to take a hatchet to certain agencies in the name of reducing the federal deficit.

[Michael Duncan]

In the name of.

[John Ashbrook]

Is that a bad name to take?

[Michael Duncan]

In the name of.

[John Ashbrook]

I wasn't aware.

[Michael Duncan]

In the name of Such a journo. Like I'm gonna give away a little of the. In the name of.

[John Ashbrook]

Yep.

[Comfortably Smug]

In the name of.

[Michael Duncan]

Is such a great clause from journos, isn't it?

[Mary Katharine Ham]

On the backdrop of.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, yeah. Right, right. Okay. All right.

[Comfortably Smug]

Oh, it gets better. It gets so much better. Statement number two. Are Americans willing to accept a high level of cruelty and death just, you know, on the president's whim? On Elon Musk's whim? I vote yes.

[John Ashbrook]

I say yes.

[Duncan]

It feels bad writing all journos and one Dem.

[Comfortably Smug]

Or there's one Dem.

[Duncan]

One Dem.

[Comfortably Smug]

There's one demon.

[Michael Duncan]

Okay.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

We've had two bangers already.

[Comfortably Smug]

Bangers. Fucking bangers.

[Michael Duncan]

All right, what do we got?

[Comfortably Smug]

Statement number three. Politicization of the U.S. marshals Service poses a real threat to our democracy by undermining the independence of government officials and signaling an endorsement of violence as long as it aligns with President Trump's end.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, my God. U.S. marshal Service.

[Duncan]

Yeah.

[Michael Duncan]

What the hell are they talking about?

[Comfortably Smug]

Deep cut. Deep cut. Deep cut.

[Michael Duncan]

That guy.

[John Ashbrook]

Yeah.

[Michael Duncan]

Whoever that is is like real deep.

[Comfortably Smug]

Digging deep, right?

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

Digging deep.

[Michael Duncan]

You know what it is? It's that damn Marshalls. They are the thing.

[Comfortably Smug]

We figured it out.

[Michael Duncan]

You need to keep an eye on that.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

When you coup the Marshal Service, it's really over.

[Michael Duncan]

I didn't know that was a thing. That's it.

[Comfortably Smug]

That's an important statement 4. Immigration has always been the lifeblood of America, helping to create a unique melting pot of culture and history. However. However, the fight over who belongs and who does not is as old as the country itself. The idea. The idea of cutting off all illegal crossings is popular with some Americans. Some popular with Americans.

[Michael Duncan]

Roughly 76%.

[Comfortably Smug]

But. But other groups. Urgent. A cautious approach on enforcing the law.

[Michael Duncan]

Screaming journal. These are your four blinking red siren lights. Other groups, they don't know. They don't mention them. Right. That's the other journo trick that you work with. It's like. But others say groups.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Groups say or.

[Michael Duncan]

Or critics believe. Right. They never say anybody like some.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

And it's just like the other people in the newsroom.

[John Ashbrook]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

My.

[Michael Duncan]

My editor, the assignment editor believes some say on Slack. I have a definitive answer on this, but I want to start with Mary Kay.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Oh, man.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah. No, you. We need to work this through. And it's okay. To get the audience involved.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Smug once told me, don't think about it. Because they don't think.

[John Ashbrook]

Yeah, you have to, lizard brain.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

They just embody leftism and just roll with it. But I insist on thinking.

[Michael Duncan]

That's your mistake.

[John Ashbrook]

I resist the urge. Always.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Oh, man. Why do I have to go first? Okay. Cruelty and death on a whim.

[Michael Duncan]

Just break billionaires. You can take them one at a time.

[John Ashbrook]

This is why it's so break them down. Because at the end of the day, they're the same group.

[Michael Duncan]

Do you want. Do you want us to take a poll of the crowd first? No.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

What, do I live with my finger in the wind?

[Michael Duncan]

Well, I don't know. You. You seem like you're having trouble.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

No, I can do it.

[Michael Duncan]

Okay.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

I. Cruelty and death on a whim. Seems very. Seems very. It's got to be operative. Right?

[Michael Duncan]

You never know. He's ratio again. He's the game master.

[Comfortably Smug]

Just one Dem operative. There are literally three journalists of those four statements.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Okay. Am I allowed to reason it out? Because I don't want.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, no, no, no.

[Comfortably Smug]

Go right ahead.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Because marshal service feels very niche. Like, you did, like, a little bit of work on that. So is that a turnout? I don't know. Yeah. Three and four seem complicated. I'm going with two.

[Comfortably Smug]

Two.

[Michael Duncan]

I think it's wise. I'm a no brainer on two. If for no other reason. But this is where you actually fail in this game. Is that the game master throws you curveballs because he knows what you.

[Comfortably Smug]

He does.

[Michael Duncan]

He knows what you think. But like, my point of view on the marshals and all that stuff is like, you have to have a beat in order to get that in there.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

To know that we've cooed the marshals.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah. The marshals are never gonna be cooing the marshals.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Very secretly.

[Michael Duncan]

Except they're like.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

They picked up on it.

[Michael Duncan]

I'm the Marshall guy. I write about the marshals. So anyway, they're on that. I think the women whim. Not very many. The key is with journalists is they're like absolutely zero brain activity whatsoever. Except they have some talent in writing, which is why they are where they are. And a women whim. Women.

[Comfortably Smug]

A whim.

[Michael Duncan]

That we did. Number two. I don't like it. I'm going to say that's the operative.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay.

[John Ashbrook]

Wow. We might have a unanimous pick. I think that means it's a curveball. Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

That.

[John Ashbrook]

Now I'm scared. Is this a Duncan Swisheroo?

[Michael Duncan]

It might Be.

[John Ashbrook]

I mean, can I say for a second when they're like, people are gonna die, it's like, after like 10 years of this, no one believes you.

[Comfortably Smug]

But I love it. Cause it's more content for this game.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

No one is alive because net neutrality already killed them.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, that's right.

[John Ashbrook]

You have an NGO for basket weaving for trans people in Guatemala. You're not gonna die. We're just not giving you money anymore.

[Michael Duncan]

It's not a constitutional crisis.

[John Ashbrook]

Yeah.

[Michael Duncan]

It's just bad spending.

[John Ashbrook]

Yeah, it's unbelievable.

[Michael Duncan]

Got it. Okay, Smash.

[Duncan]

I'm going U.S. marshals.

[Michael Duncan]

He's going Marshals.

[Duncan]

I'm saying Marshalls is the Dem. Just to be a little bit different.

[Michael Duncan]

No, you're playing that. You're playing judge.

[Duncan]

I'm playing the judge because what a Democrat would do, and a lot of these journals are Democrats, but they would pull a third party validator to demonstrate that. What they're saying.

[Comfortably Smug]

Can we get.

[Michael Duncan]

Can we. Can we open it up? Who thinks it's number one?

[John Ashbrook]

Number one's operative.

[Michael Duncan]

We got a couple of number ones.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

It could be one.

[Michael Duncan]

Who thinks it's number two?

[John Ashbrook]

Okay. All right.

[Michael Duncan]

Who thinks is number three? Ooh, ooh. There's spread of a good group. Okay, number four, viewing back. All right, all right, listen, there's a. There's a mix here.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Have a distribution.

[Michael Duncan]

Okay, we have.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay, well, we're going to do a little process of elimination here. We're going to go up with number one again. And this is President Trump and his billionaire adviser, Elon Musk. Has shock waves through the federal government. This, this take.

[Michael Duncan]

Who is. Who's this one?

[Comfortably Smug]

That is Sahil Kapoor from NBC News. Yeah.

[Michael Duncan]

In the name of. In the name of. Just remember that every time you read.

[John Ashbrook]

He's your friend, right? Ashbrook.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah, he was in your wedding. He blocked me on Twitter.

[John Ashbrook]

Yeah, he blocked me on Twitter.

[Michael Duncan]

He was probably in his wedding.

[John Ashbrook]

And so he'll probably.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay, maybe we can go to number number four here.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, he's skipping around.

[Comfortably Smug]

Well, I'm trying to build the drama. I'm doing the drama. Number four. Immigration has always been the lifeblood of America. That was ABC News. And seriously, there were like five, eight people on the byline. I don't fucking know. I don't know. I stopped counting. At some point, I stopped counting.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Five people. Five people came up with a cautious approach to enforcing the law. That's what's important.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

And I think the crux of this is two or three. It really is.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

Right.

[John Ashbrook]

All right, here we Go.

[Comfortably Smug]

So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck it. Let's do two. Let's do two. You guys were wrong. You idiot.

[Michael Duncan]

No women.

[Comfortably Smug]

Who was an Applebaum from the Atlantic. Are Americans willing to accept the high level of cruelty and death just, you know, on the President's whim? On Elon Musk's whim.

[John Ashbrook]

Cruelty. This is journalism today.

[Comfortably Smug]

What a psycho. What a psychopath.

[Michael Duncan]

It's also bad writing, I thought.

[Comfortably Smug]

I just hope. Rfk, if you're listening, let's fix this. There's a mental health crisis in this country. That's it. That's the game.

[Michael Duncan]

Open the institutions.

[Duncan]

I think that means I win.

[Comfortably Smug]

You won.

[John Ashbrook]

I won.

[Michael Duncan]

I win.

[Duncan]

I win.

[Michael Duncan]

I win.

[John Ashbrook]

I win.

[Duncan]

And I think. I think the lesson here is that Democrats think they need a validator. Journos do not.

[John Ashbrook]

They don't need facts.

[Michael Duncan]

I love it. Mary Katharine Ham, ladies and gentlemen.

[Mary Katharine Ham]

Thank you very much.

[John Ashbrook]

Thank you so much.

[Michael Duncan]

I don't have to tell you Americans are ready for what's next. Moving beyond the hardships of inflation and economic anxiety towards building a future. A better future for our families. Ensuring greater access to more affordable energy that powers daily lives. Reliable energy that fuels innovation and economic growth, and the abundant energy that keeps our nation safer and more secure. It's all within our grasp. We'll do this together, building a brighter future for us. Powered by America's oil and natural gas resources. You can learn more about all of [e-mail] we got another guy you may have heard of. This guy's something else. We have him back here. Lee, we're ready to go. All right, ladies and gentlemen, Senator Kennedy. He likes a slow and deliberate entrance.

[Duncan]

Ladies and gentlemen, the Legend himself.

[Michael Duncan]

He's loading up the alligators as we speak.

[Duncan]

Legend.

[Comfortably Smug]

There he is.

[Michael Duncan]

There he is. Watch your step on the courts.

[Senator John Kennedy]

You want me to sit here?

[Michael Duncan]

My man, you can sit wherever you want.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

Sit here.

[Senator John Kennedy]

Okay.

[John Ashbrook]

I'm gonna move a little away from.

[Senator John Kennedy]

You a little bit here.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, that. That's probably wise. That's probably wise.

[Senator John Kennedy]

Nice hat, man. I remember when those were in.

[John Ashbrook]

Wasting no time.

[Comfortably Smug]

How dare you. This is a Stetson. And you know what? You know, it's perfect that you come in and. And you do that on me. Because I believe the last time you were on here on the episode, you called me a virgin. And you're a lawyer. You're a lawyer. You're a lawyer.

[Senator John Kennedy]

I had been day drinking.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah, me too. But you're a lawyer, so you'll appreciate this. Exhibit number one is my Wife is right up there.

[Michael Duncan]

And he's got children.

[Comfortably Smug]

I got children.

[Michael Duncan]

Yep. So.

[John Ashbrook]

So I love how Duncan's like, I'm not a virgin.

[Michael Duncan]

Our next guest.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

I'm an infinity.

[Michael Duncan]

Isn't that the first rule in politics? You don't start off on a negative footing. Yeah. Fighting from behind.

[Senator John Kennedy]

Have you guys paid your taxes? We need the money, man. And you know what Smug spelled backwards is? Gums. I just noticed that.

[John Ashbrook]

I have been paying my taxes and a bit too much. All right, a little bit too much.

[Senator John Kennedy]

What do y'all want to talk about?

[John Ashbrook]

How do you get rid of my taxes?

[Senator John Kennedy]

My briefing paper.

[Michael Duncan]

Did you have one?

[Senator John Kennedy]

Yeah, they wrote me up, but they always do. I don't. I don't.

[Michael Duncan]

That was a mistake.

[John Ashbrook]

We didn't send anything. Bullet number one was cut. Smugs. Taxes. I think that was the first thing that we were going to discuss.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, you're supposed to work on that, right? We're talking about if. As long as we're talking about taxes. What do you think about that?

[Senator John Kennedy]

What do I think about taxes? I'm against them.

[Duncan]

Yeah.

[Senator John Kennedy]

You know, I researched you guys. I researched you guys.

[Michael Duncan]

That's problematic.

[Senator John Kennedy]

Especially Smug. He's all over the Internet.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah. It's a liability.

[Senator John Kennedy]

Growing up, Smug had an imaginary friend, okay. Who his parents actually preferred.

[John Ashbrook]

Did he become a doctor? Because that's what they wanted.

[Senator John Kennedy]

I know what kind of doctor you wanted to be. Pervert.

[Michael Duncan]

He's talking about a podiatrist, ladies and gentlemen.

[Senator John Kennedy]

Did I mention I like your hat, man? That's really cool.

[Comfortably Smug]

It's a good hat. How dare you?

[Senator John Kennedy]

How was it working for McConnell?

[Michael Duncan]

It was good, man. I had a time of my life.

[Senator John Kennedy]

I saw that sucker smile back in 2007.

[Michael Duncan]

I don't. I don't believe you.

[Senator John Kennedy]

It was. It was scary.

[Michael Duncan]

You saw it?

[Senator John Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Michael Duncan]

Was it authentic?

[Senator John Kennedy]

I told the press, asked me when Mitch fell, and they said, you know, he fell. It's all the end. Well, I said, let me tell y'all something. When the world comes to an end and hell freezes over, there going to be three things left. Chuck Grassley, Mitch McConnell, and cockroaches.

[Michael Duncan]

That's probably right. That's Alyssa seniority right there.

[Senator John Kennedy]

All right, so what do y'all want to talk about?

[Duncan]

Well, you know. You know who will not be left over if Alfred's over? Alphonse the alligator. Alphonse, you killed an alligator with your bare hands.

[Senator John Kennedy]

One finger.

[Duncan]

One. I think you hear about it.

[Senator John Kennedy]

Alphonse is a.

[Michael Duncan]

Can we get graphic two up?

[John Ashbrook]

Pull that up.

[Michael Duncan]

Let's. There it is.

[Senator John Kennedy]

There's Alphonse. Alphonse is from Louisiana. And Alphonse. Years ago we had an alligator scarcity in Louisiana. We stopped, we stopped trapping them and they came back, and they came back and they came back. And now we have more alligators than people. And the alligators are surprisingly well organized. And so every year we issue tags. And somebody harvested Alphonse, took him to a taxidermist and paid a deposit. Didn't come get him. So I bought Alphonse and I brought him up to the Capitol. They, they dumped him in the, behind the Russell Senate Office Building. I'm in a hearing and the Capitol police tried to. Wanted to cut him open. They thought there was a bomb in Alphonse. That's true in Alphonse and Alphonse. But I keep Alphonse. The kids love Alphonse. I mean, he didn't show Alphonse again.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, put him up.

[John Ashbrook]

Put him back up.

[Michael Duncan]

I mean, he named him after an Italian.

[Senator John Kennedy]

This was just a happenstance. But Alphonse, see, his mouth is kind of open. The kids love it. They come by and they can stick their head in Alphonse's mouth and have so. So Alphonse is a, is a big draw. I wanted to hang Alphonse from the ceiling, but the, the, the architect of the capital wouldn't let me. So come by and see Alphonse.

[Michael Duncan]

I love it. He's.

[Senator John Kennedy]

Alphonse is a male. Obviously, I didn't, I believe that you didn't misgender him.

[Michael Duncan]

Hold on, hold on.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

I believe.

[Michael Duncan]

I wanted, I was going to interject and now I'm like, nope, let's hear where this goes.

[Senator John Kennedy]

It was. Alphonse just happened to be a male. I believe that, that men and women are equal, except women can't piss on a campfire. But otherwise I believe they're equal. Y'all cut that out, boys. Take that part out.

[Michael Duncan]

I love that. Listen, what everybody's fallen in love with you over is that regardless of the issue that we deal with, and you've dealt with some shit since we've been up here, I mean, all kinds of different stuff and the media and driving narratives from the left hand side, you speak. Well, it's distinctly Louisiana, let's just put it that way. But it's like the rest of us think. And I wonder, the thing that's most impressed me is in the context of these hearings. Have you seen him in the Judiciary Committee?

[John Ashbrook]

Always it's. Can't miss tv.

[Michael Duncan]

Where it's like he lulls you, you into the like, oh, shucks, I'm a country lawyer type thing. And everybody's like, yeah, I can handle all that. And then he just gets super arcane, and they're like, oh, and these. These nominees, it's been regardless of party that everybody all of a sudden just sort of buckle. Like, do you just wait? Is that just like your favorite thing, or are you just kind of like.

[Senator John Kennedy]

Well, it's not that hard because most of President Biden's nominees had. They had IQs barely above a single cell organism, so that it wasn't particularly a challenge. And frankly, the secret senators, you watched them in these hearings, they hardly ever ask questions. They just always talk. And if you want to learn something from a witness or impeach a witness, you have to ask a question.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

Duh, you know?

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah. Which is a novel concept.

[Senator John Kennedy]

I like to talk to people, you know. Tom, Cotton's coming. He's backstage. Cotton was. If you listen, you learn something. Cotton was just telling me that. He was telling me about the Internet. He said he has a guy that he gets 20% off on his blow on the Internet. I'm telling you. And Cotton. Cotton is a wise man. We're sitting there in a committee one day, and this guy is talking and talking and talking, and Cotton leans over and he said, kennedy said what, Tom? He said, listen to this guy. He's like watching porn on the Internet on the radio. He's a wise man. So I hope. I hope y'all will. Will probe the depths of his intellect. Okay, you get this. Nice hat, man. Nice hat.

[Michael Duncan]

This guy, huh?

[Comfortably Smug]

You get this for free on the YouTube.

[Senator John Kennedy]

Did y'all really pay to get into this?

[Michael Duncan]

For God's sake. Listen, you are an absolute gem. I say this every single time that you show up in a committee hearing or show up on cable news, and you're just giving us gems like that. He is one of the great wonders of politics right now, everybody. Thank you.

[Senator John Kennedy]

Look, it's easy.

[Michael Duncan]

Welcome.

[Senator John Kennedy]

I mean, how hard. Hard is it to make fun of Chuck Schumer?

[Michael Duncan]

He's got more.

[Senator John Kennedy]

You know, he. He's adhd. He runs around. He's like a five year old in a Batman costume. And I tell him that, you know, and Mitch. Well, don't get me started on Mitch. My office will end up in Richmond. I just. Am I done?

[Governor Brian Kemp]

Are you?

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah. No, I was gonna. I was gonna let you go on your way. I know you got a busy schedule, but you got more material. Let's have it.

[Senator John Kennedy]

I'm Going to go home and Netflix and chill.

[Michael Duncan]

Mrs. Kennedy is going to have words with you about that.

[John Ashbrook]

Yep.

[Michael Duncan]

All right. I love it. Thank you so much, Senator John Kennedy. So much.

[Senator John Kennedy]

No gift to him.

[Duncan]

So we just got some big news from Americans for Prosperity, the most effective grassroots organization in the country. They've just launched a massive $20 million campaign to protect your hard earned money. Here's the deal. If Congress doesn't act, the Trump tax cuts will expire. That means families could pay 1500 more in taxes next year. We all remember the benefits of those tax cuts. More money in your pocket, higher wages, and thriving mom and pop businesses across the country. But bidenomics has taken us backward. Record inflation and rising costs mean families are paying over $13,000 more per year just to make ends meet. Now is not the time for higher taxes. That's why AFP is unleashing its grassroots army to protect the tax cuts. With hundreds of local events, millions of voter contacts and direct pressure on lawmakers. Join the fight. Visit ProtectProsperity.com to demand Congress renews and strengthens the Trump tax cut so we can reignite the American dream. That's ProtectProsperity.com.

[Michael Duncan]

One of our old friends, somebody who you will instantly understand is a woven within the fabric of the ruthless variety program. Katie Pavlich, ladies and gentlemen. So good.

[Katie Pavlich]

I can't believe you made me come after Kennedy. That was so cruel. I thought you're my friends. It's okay.

[Michael Duncan]

You're not gonna question his virginity or anything. We're gonna start off, we're just gonna be good. We're gonna play games.

[Katie Pavlich]

Sounds good. All right. Sounds good.

[Michael Duncan]

All right, let's keep it clean here, Kavlich. Let's keep it clean. I understand also you're gonna be playing a game with us as well.

[Katie Pavlich]

A new game. A new brand new game for the Ruthless Rider.

[Michael Duncan]

You were chosen to do the new.

[Katie Pavlich]

Game, so hopefully I don't mess it up.

[Michael Duncan]

Well, listen, Pavlich has been a part of this program from the very beginning. And you know her, you love her. Fox Town hall. She's been everywhere, all over everything, providing incredible commentary and all the news of the day through multiple generations of. Of stuff that we've dealt with. And one of the few people who I think all of us go to, regardless of the political environment that we're in, to take just to make sense. Right. Just does it and does it the way that we appreciate, which is a light hearted approach, but very serious taking on very serious topics. Unwavering from her point of view. I know all of you appreciate that. Exact same thing. Because every time you're on the show. Yeah. Yeah.

[Katie Pavlich]

Thank you for the kind words. Thank you for giving me an opportunity tonight to bust this out of my closet. I figured if I'm gonna follow Senator Kennedy, I have to wear something ridiculous, so thank you. He asked me where I got it. I told him on the Internet. And then he proceeded to tell me all the things you can buy on the Internet, which I think we'll keep that off the record.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, we got about a third of the way into that, and I think I felt like we needed to cut things short. No, I appreciate that. So, listen, we have a new game.

[Comfortably Smug]

We have a new game.

[Michael Duncan]

And it's time, ladies and gentlemen, to enter the Snark Tank.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah. Snark Tank.

[Duncan]

Tonight on Snark Tank, old man Duncan pitches three ridiculous government programs. Two are real and one is not. Can the snarks guess the fake? Right now on Snark Tank.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay.

[Michael Duncan]

I'm gonna need a beer for this.

[Comfortably Smug]

This is fucking great. All right. I just want to apologize. I want to apologize because I wrote all these pitches last night while I was very drunk.

[Katie Pavlich]

Even better.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, my God. Really?

[John Ashbrook]

How does it work?

[Duncan]

How does it work? This is how does it work?

[Comfortably Smug]

So it's like Shark Tank. There are three government programs, two of which are real, that Elon Musk and Doge identified as being fucking terrible programs. We have to cut. One of them is one I made up while I was halfway through a bottle of Elijah Craig last night.

[Michael Duncan]

So that's the preparation that we take here for you all here at the variety program. We get half a bottle Elijah Craig down, and we come over the game for the next day's show.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah. So you ready?

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[John Ashbrook]

Let's do this.

[Comfortably Smug]

You guys ready?

[Katie Pavlich]

Let's go.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay. Hey, Snarks.

[Michael Duncan]

This seems first.

[Comfortably Smug]

Are you ready? We're ready. We're ready.

[Katie Pavlich]

Are we all voting on.

[Comfortably Smug]

You're all. But you gotta wait to the end. You gotta wait to the end.

[Katie Pavlich]

Gotcha.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay. It's like Demijournal.

[Michael Duncan]

Okay.

[Comfortably Smug]

What do you think when I say, Djokovic, Slobodan Milosevic, meet the country that spread more itches than a Tijuana hot tub, Serbia. And while their ability to play sports and start war is legendary, what's less well known is there are irredeemable bigots who must be cured with American tax dollars. We at USAID need your investment of $1.5 million to advance DEI in Serbian workplaces and expand opportunities for LGBTQ I + entrepreneurs with the last name Pav Lich.

[Katie Pavlich]

I feel attacked.

[Comfortably Smug]

I'm sorry. There's ethnic jokes. We do ethnic jokes.

[Michael Duncan]

We do ethnic jokes. We're sorry. We're sorry.

[John Ashbrook]

They even got to an I in there. I didn't even know there's an I now in there.

[Katie Pavlich]

Well, it's LGB now. They got rid of the rest.

[John Ashbrook]

Lbtq. I.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah. No I.

[Comfortably Smug]

Next up, snarks. As we all know, journalists are just like firefighters running to a story. Like they run to the bar after filing deadline. But in some war torn areas, our brave stenographers don't have access to the bare necessities of life. We at the State Department are asking for $2.55 million to provide journalists in Southeast Asia with fair access to social media applications and news aggregation services.

[Michael Duncan]

I mean, it seems the thing is, is that you always have to. When you have a game master like this guy, he throws you curveballs, right?

[Comfortably Smug]

I do goofs.

[Katie Pavlich]

You said Southeast Asia? Yes, Southeast Asia Asia gives a little context.

[Michael Duncan]

Application media applications and aggregations.

[Katie Pavlich]

How much was the first one? 1.5 mil.

[Comfortably Smug]

1.5 mil was the first one. This one's 2.5.

[Michael Duncan]

A little steeper.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay.

[John Ashbrook]

Is the eye for Italians. Like, what is that?

[Comfortably Smug]

Oh. Oh, you just wait. Smug. You just wait.

[Michael Duncan]

I'm sorry. To the Italian Defamation League.

[Comfortably Smug]

Oh, you're not sorry yet until I read the third one.

[Michael Duncan]

Spaghetti. Where are you? You have to come on stage because.

[Comfortably Smug]

It'S the point where. This is the point where Lee thinks we're going to get canceled and we're going to end the show.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, yeah. See spaghetti back there, he's got the plaid shirt on. He's looks like a redhead, but in fact, he's Italian.

[Katie Pavlich]

The Eastern Europeans won't cancel you, but the Italians might kill you.

[Michael Duncan]

They might. You got to keep an eye on that one.

[Comfortably Smug]

Final one. Sharks this. Jesus Christ.

[Michael Duncan]

Snarks.

[Comfortably Smug]

Did I read this?

[Michael Duncan]

We're snarks.

[Comfortably Smug]

Why did I write this? Benito Mussolini once said that blood alone moves the wheels of history.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh.

[Katie Pavlich]

Which one's fake?

[Comfortably Smug]

I don't know, but he was just a dumb Italian. They strung him up like a salami.

[John Ashbrook]

This is great writing.

[Comfortably Smug]

War is more than a battlefield. Here at Sesame Workshop, we know that to win the war, you need to win hearts and minds. That's why we're asking for $20 million to produce an Arab language version of Sesame street in Iraq that promotes inclusion, inclusion, mutual respect and understanding across ethnic, religious, and sectarian groups.

[Michael Duncan]

We need Big Bird in Iraq or there is no democracy, basically. Yeah, Right.

[Comfortably Smug]

Basically, the surge. The surge didn't work. We need Sesame Street.

[Michael Duncan]

You can. You can fight them over there, or you can fight them over here, but most importantly, we can fight it with.

[Katie Pavlich]

Big Bird, Al Qaeda and isis. Love.

[Comfortably Smug]

So, snarks, those are my three pitches you have to do. Determine which one is not real.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, my gosh, this is hard. Pavlich, where are we going with this?

[Katie Pavlich]

Number two is not real.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay.

[Michael Duncan]

She's just, like, straight up.

[Comfortably Smug]

Look at that confidence.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, that's good. That's good. So it feels like, listen, the writing and on number three and the price tag lead me to believe that you'd want to. He. He's leading.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay.

[Michael Duncan]

You to go there as the not real one. So I think the price tag seems right in terms of the misspending and. And the Mussolini thing is, like, enough. Where he knows, like, that's where I want to land, where I don't, so.

[Comfortably Smug]

Oh, you see? You think it's a. I think I'm.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, I think I'm gonna. I'm playing the judge now. The questions.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah, I'm gonna go.

[Michael Duncan]

I'm gonna go with number one.

[Comfortably Smug]

Oh, okay.

[John Ashbrook]

So number two was about journos, and I thought you were trying to just, like, give out catnip because, like, if anything says journo, you know, we're like a bull singing red. But I think that was an old switcheroo. So number two is fake for me.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay.

[Duncan]

I'm with smug all the way. Number two is the fake.

[Michael Duncan]

All right, hold on. We need a crowd.

[Comfortably Smug]

We need crowd.

[Michael Duncan]

We need crowd who thinks it's number one. Just a handful of us, and we're going to be right. And you guys are gonna know that you can just stand up here as kings once we win. How about number two?

[Comfortably Smug]

Everybody thinks two. You're fucked.

[John Ashbrook]

No way. No way.

[Michael Duncan]

How about number three? Here we go. Lonely customer, up here in front. You too, sir, are going to be a king. Oh, we got one more. All right, two. So two grand totals.

[Comfortably Smug]

The answer is number two is fake. The crowd knew. These are cheap people.

[Katie Pavlich]

Yeah, there's a lot of transparency with Doge. So they tell you exactly what's happening.

[Michael Duncan]

You've, like, studied the spreadsheet, probably.

[Katie Pavlich]

I definitely studied the X feed before, where there are lots of spreadsheets, but I gloss right over those. They're too much.

[Michael Duncan]

Before you get out of here, why don't you tell everybody what you're up to and what you're doing? And where they can find you.

[Katie Pavlich]

Well, now the election's over and the D3s, the deranged woke white women are in total disarray. I am thoroughly enjoying my walks in the neighborhood, watching them cry and hugging trees. Other than that, just covering the news, you know, it's like dog years again. One year feels like seven. And so just covering the White House and everything else going on in this crazy town.

[Michael Duncan]

She's absolutely the best. I mean, we can find you. You're doing like all kinds of different fox stuff. You used to be like, all over the nation, like, shooting stuff.

[Katie Pavlich]

I was hunting a few things, yes.

[Michael Duncan]

You're still doing that.

[Katie Pavlich]

I don't have any dead animal gifts for you this time. No, that is inappropriate to bring to the bar. But maybe next time in the studio I can bring you something. No rattlesnake paraphernalia.

[Michael Duncan]

But your.

[Duncan]

Your brother hasn't let up.

[Katie Pavlich]

He is not there killing everything, making sure the animal kingdom is subdued, as it should be.

[Comfortably Smug]

I still use his rattlesnake coaster on my coffee every morning.

[Katie Pavlich]

He'll be glad to hear it because he's a big Ridley's fan, so he'll be glad to hear it.

[Michael Duncan]

What a gentleman for sending that over. I have it right on my desk. Oh, it's awesome.

[Katie Pavlich]

Call the FAFO doctrine when it comes to my brother, you know, and that rattlesnake while he's out hunting coyotes after round and found out and now they have coasters that they use for their bourbon. It's wonderful. I have a nice pair of earrings too.

[Michael Duncan]

Ladies and gentlemen, Katie Pavlich.

[Katie Pavlich]

Thanks, guys.

[John Ashbrook]

Thank you so much.

[Katie Pavlich]

Congratulations.

[Michael Duncan]

All right, so listen, Kennedy blew the surprise on this one, but for you OGs, you know that he is the absolute first person who agreed to do an interview with Ruthless. He probably didn't have good comm staff at the time. I'm guessing the vetting was incomplete for sure. It took a big risk for anybody to come on with us. Ladies and gentlemen, Tom Cotton. Well, you got the strike up the band.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

I think last time we're here, you tried to give me a crack pipe, didn't you?

[Michael Duncan]

No, you gave us a crack.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

You brought the crack pipe.

[Michael Duncan]

So for the backstory, for those of you who weren't here the first time he came, the first time we did this show, there was a big story about how the Biden administration was actually providing crack pipes. And like, not just a crack pipe, like a full bundle of.

[John Ashbrook]

Of a kit of goods and services.

[Comfortably Smug]

Like if you walked in the first Class of the United Polaris Club. Like, they provided this. Like they provided you with like, hand lotion. Like, it was like a little personalized kid for how you could smoke crack. And he brought it here on stage.

[Michael Duncan]

He found one and brought it to us.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

Was USAID handing them out?

[Michael Duncan]

All I know is I saw Smugsy. What.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

What did. What did Kennedy say about me or that rascal? Talking trash.

[Michael Duncan]

And he was talking a lot of trash.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

What did he say?

[Michael Duncan]

He said, give him a hard time, for starters. And then, you know, he, like, laid some denigrating stuff out there, didn't he?

[John Ashbrook]

I think that's just typical Kennedy, to be honest.

[Michael Duncan]

Why don't we. Why don't we shoot. Why don't we shoot back a little? You want to shoot back a little bit of Kennedy? Let's. What do we got?

[Senator Tom Cotton]

Well, did all of you know that he has an only fans page? And if you're so hungry, subscribe tonight. You get 20% off if you use the promotion code. Ruthless.

[Michael Duncan]

That is exactly why we have you here. What's the name of it? The only thing better than one crawdad. What was it? Well, only thing better than one crawfish dinner.

[Duncan]

Three crawfish dinners.

[Michael Duncan]

That's the name of it. So, Cotton, listen. You listen. You've been an OG friend of ours. An OG when nobody should have believed in us. You actually.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

People believe in you now.

[Michael Duncan]

No, but they're here, so, you know, we might as well flatter them. But part of the reason why we have been such huge fans of you over the years is because the guy's always right. He's always right about everything. And like, every single time the media just sort of castigates this guy and jumps as ugly as they can possibly be, it's because he's more right than they want to admit. And the thing that I keep coming back to that is an irrefutable truth. And, like, there's a lot of these that are lower profile, but this one is in just a different echelon of stuff. Can we throw up graphic three, please, fellas? All right. Tom Cotton keeps repeating a coronavirus fringe theory that scientists have disputed.

[Comfortably Smug]

Oh, no, the scientists.

[Duncan]

The Washington Post.

[Michael Duncan]

That was in The Washington Post five.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

Years ago this week, February 17, 2020.

[Michael Duncan]

That's exactly right. And the fringe theory was. I don't know, that there was a lab in Wuhan that created coronavirus things, and maybe that's where it came from. And you were like, that might be it.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

I mean, yeah. I mean, like, look, I didn't have classified intelligence. I don't think we had any. It was like, gosh, there's this giant lab that has a history of safety malpractices and they research bat based coronaviruses and the director of it is literally nicknamed the Bat Lady. Versus a food market that didn't even have a bat sold there to eat yet somehow like a bat kissed an orphanage or something.

[Comfortably Smug]

Exactly. That's the thing. That's the thing. The bat banged the pangolin and was sold in the market like that. That's what they tried to tell.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

I don't know, maybe we should at least look at. Look into it or check it out.

[Comfortably Smug]

Made no sense.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

But I'm glad you raise it because I do write about it in my new book, 7 things you can't say about China, which you can all get at bookstores near you today.

[Michael Duncan]

We're going to plug your book, Tom. We're going to plug your book. I promise we're going to send a lot of it.

[Duncan]

It is an important book. But we did get a. From Eric Swalwell. He was wondering if there are any pictures in that book.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

I think you'll have to go to John Kennedy's OnlyFans page for such things.

[Michael Duncan]

But hold on. We wanna do the other side of this story. So here's graphic four, please. Which is the thing that nobody ever writes about. I'm sure you all have consumed. FBI director says COVID 19 most likely originated from lab incident. That's it. Right. But it's three years later and nobody. I don't see an apology from Tom to Tom Cotton there anywhere.

[Duncan]

No, they don't do that.

[Michael Duncan]

You were a racist at that time.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

The New York Times. No, I take this back. This. That was not about COVID The New York Times in the op ed that I published.

[Michael Duncan]

Well, that was when you bankrupted the New York Times.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

Yeah, that. When I bankrupted the New York Times. They later said that although they're not factual errors, it didn't live up to their usual standards. And I agree with it. I didn't live up to their usual sophomore standards. I far exceeded them.

[Michael Duncan]

That was the time that you suggested that Americans enforce laws against crime in cities. Yes.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

That we not let people rampage and rate and loot and riot throughout the streets.

[Michael Duncan]

That's very controversial. It's very controversial. But look, this is what, this is what goes on. I mean, I've known. Listen, I've known you since like 2013. And this is every three or four months there is a situation that presents itself in front of the country. That is a controversial issue that we're grappling with. And then Tom goes on one of these shows somewhere and says, this is what makes sense to me. And immediately everybody jumps ugly on him. And immediately everybody's like, this guy, what a right wing lunatic. He complete insane son of a bitch. Like, we hate them. And then like 18 months later, everybody's like, yeah, I was right. It was right.

[John Ashbrook]

At some point, right wing conspiracy just became spoiler alert. Like, it's true.

[Michael Duncan]

It's true, but it's gone on and on. The reason we led with the COVID thing, I could have led with like one of a hundred things, is that you've written a book. See, listen, what I'm doing.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

You don't say, listen.

[Michael Duncan]

This is seven things you can't say about China. Your new book.

[Comfortably Smug]

Oh, look, I got it right here.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, there it is.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

There you go.

[Michael Duncan]

There it is.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

Look at this. Hold it up so everyone see, Turn it to the side so you can see. It's a small book. It's easy to read. I made it readable for someone like Holmes so he could digest it. It's not a big deal.

[Michael Duncan]

How did you dodge that bullet? Smug. So it's like the supermarket trash that I usually get into. No, listen, this is important stuff. Tell us a little about it.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

Yeah. So for 10 years on the Armed Services Committee, on the Intelligence Committee, now as chair of that committee, you know, I've been watching what China has been doing, and it's clear they have a deliberate and well considered strategy to replace the United States as the world's dominant economic and military superpower. Unfortunately, we've done a lot to help them, giving them permanent most favored nation trading status, letting them into the World Trade Organization, continuing to end this delusion that somehow if China traded with us and got wealthy, they'd also moderate, they'd stop repressing their own people, Christians, Hong Kongers, Tibetans, Uyghurs, and stop being so aggressive towards the United States and our friends. And obviously, that's been a failed, failed theory for a couple decades at least. President Trump really kind of reset the conventional wisdom on that needfully eight years ago. But with all that wealth and power, China has amassed massive influence in our society. And that's one of the reasons I stress in the title, the sense of opinion control and censorship is because there is an effort, like the coronavirus, that if you criticize China, if you say the things I say in the book, that Chinese communists jump on you like a ton of bricks, you would expect them to do that. But it's not just Chinese communists. It's their American handmaidens as well. The Washington Post and the New York Times and CNN and the rest. So their influence has infiltrated American society and business and government. I mean, consider Hollywood, which depends on access to the very large, lucrative Chinese movie market. When was the last time you saw a movie with the Chinese villain? Not since Brad Pitt made seven years in Tibet in 1997.

[Comfortably Smug]

NBA had the same problem.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

NBA has the same problem. That the general manager of the NBA merely posted a graphic that we should stand with Hong Kongers who are fighting for their freedom.

[Comfortably Smug]

Right.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

And again, China came down a ton of bricks. You might expect that. But LeBron James and Steve Kerr, who will always stand up for anyone expressing social justice warrior theories, you know, criticized the general manager. The CEO of the Brooklyn Nets was fired within. He resigned within a couple months for supporting the Houston Rockets gm. Guess who won't. It's the Brooklyn Nets. Joe Tsai, one of the founders of Alibaba, who is a frequent Chinese communist apologist. Or back to the Hollywood movie studio example. Think about our news networks in this country. Every single news network except for Fox News is owned by or affiliated with one of those Hollywood studios. ABC and Disney, NBC, MSNBC by Comcast, Universal, CBS and Paramount, CNN and Warner Brothers. Do you really expect them to report the facts straight on what's going on in China as a surprise at Fox News is the toughest network on China. You see Chinese influence throughout the country. And I want to ring the alarm bell in this book based on everything I've learned. So normal Americans who don't do this all day long can appreciate, even though they have a justly low opinion of communist China, it's still probably worse than they can imagine.

[Michael Duncan]

Can we talk about this a little bit in the context of AI? Yeah, I mean, it's a conversation that we've had nationally here for the last three weeks. But it's a conversation that most Americans are having the first time because the Biden administration thought AI was any like, you know, denigrating video of Joe Biden falling down staircases that they, you know, what was the. Deep fakes. Yeah, deep fakes or whatever. Like that was the contextual understanding that the previous administration talked about with the American people about what AI is. For the first time in the last three weeks, we've had a real conversation about what AI is. And there has been a high level discussion from the President himself and folks in press conferences talking about the need for American supremacy in this area. I wonder, from an intel committee chair point of view, like, what's your view on that?

[Senator Tom Cotton]

Well, it is vital that we maintain the lead that we have in artificial intelligence. Unfortunately, the lead has been shrinking somewhat. You know, the book was finished many months ago, so I don't write about Deep Seq, the new Chinese AI engine that surprised so many people a few weeks ago. Now, I have a few questions about that. One, whether, like so much Chinese technology, it's built off of stolen American technology? Two, did they really build it with as few chips and as few powerful chips as they claim? Three, did it really cost as little as they claim as well? Now, it does have one of the key flaws of all Chinese technology, which is it's a propaganda tool for Chinese communism. You can't go into deep sea and ask it or try to learn anything about Tiananmen Square or the crackdown in Hong Kong or the Uyghur genocide or the takeover in Tibet or Christian persecution in China. In that regard, it's much like TikTok, where you can't learn those things either. Now, that is a real problem for China. Anytime you're dealing with information technology and their ability to control what their people see and hear and learn, because it's not a free society, it's a communist country, versus here in America where our developers, our scientists, our engineers don't face those constraints. It's again, one of the many advantages that we have as a free country over a communist enemy.

[Michael Duncan]

That's incredible. Listen, all you want to know about this topic, buy all the whole series of Tom Cotton books. Where can we find them?

[Senator Tom Cotton]

Anywhere you can buy books, bookstores, anywhere near you. Just type it into your search engine and go about it. Maybe you can find. Maybe you can find a special package, discounted, all three books together, you know.

[Michael Duncan]

And we'll send it out on the. On the Ruthless X account as well. So you can all see it there. Listen, this is one of the good guys. Before you go, let me just say, like, one of the reasons we have this set of guests that we do is because these are people who we just genuinely believe in. Tom calls me, you know, we talk once a week, maybe once every couple of weeks. Every time this guy calls, he's talking about something. Hey, what do you think about this? And everybody's like, you gotta stay down on that ground, ball. He's out teaching his kids basic. He's out, dude. He's just a normal dude, right? And I can't tell you what a breath of Fresh Air. That is for somebody, like many of you who've been involved in this line of work, to find somebody who's doing things the way we grew up with, who's just trying to raise his family and do what's best for this country. Appreciate your leadership, and thank you for coming on the program, pal.

[Senator Tom Cotton]

Thank you.

[Michael Duncan]

Everybody having a good time? Did everybody chug a beer? Because if you didn't, you got to get back up there and go do it now, because we're gonna have a lot of fun here. We got a great, great. It's not a second half, but it's gonna be like a peak. We're peaking.

[John Ashbrook]

There's no breaks on this train.

[Comfortably Smug]

We're not even to the entrees yet.

[Michael Duncan]

We're not even in the entree.

[Comfortably Smug]

All we had was an amuse Bush, the old man.

[Michael Duncan]

Yep. Our theater major, he's got. He's very cultured.

[Comfortably Smug]

I'm cultured, as everybody understands. Well, yes.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, for sure. And you wouldn't know that by a Stetson, but that was just purchased.

[Comfortably Smug]

How dare you?

[Duncan]

George Straight, everybody.

[Comfortably Smug]

How dare you. This is Beaver Pelt. He's.

[Duncan]

He's here having fun with his friends tonight, but tomorrow it's Amarillo by morning.

[Michael Duncan]

So, listen, I think we're gonna do some questions. The last time we did this, what occurred to us and we did this sort of spontaneously were like, y'all have some thoughts. And you do a great job, by the way, when you like and subscribe.

[Duncan]

Like and subscribe, if you wish to.

[Michael Duncan]

Opine, which is what John Ashbrook came up with, but of just leaving us questions and thoughts about the show. But it's always topical in what we're dealing with the day, you know, the day of. Or what you're seeing in the news and getting our thoughts and perspectives on things, are responding to our question of the day and happen in our audio thing, which, by the way, it's crazy. We were audio only for like three years, which, you know, I think probably the vast majority of you, if you're local, that's where you were at to begin with before we did video. And the amount of interaction, we don't have a single guest, and I mean, not one who doesn't come away and say, listen, I did four primetime hits in cable news last week, and I've never gotten more interaction than I do when I'm on Ruthless. And it's all thanks to you guys.

[Comfortably Smug]

And that's sort of the secret genius of our show is like, there's no. There's no fucking producer in, you know, New York who's, like, in charge of what we say.

[Michael Duncan]

And obviously.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah, obviously. But it's like we rely on you.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

Listening to you, reading the comments from you, producing the show for you.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

And that's what we love about this show. It's the reason why I do it. I'm here with my friends. Honestly, I don't like doing anything unless I can be around my friends. I get to do this show with my friends twice a week for you guys. And being able to read what you guys say about the show.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

Makes me so happy.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

You know?

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, totally. We also refer to him as our Lou Reed. And for those of you music enthusiasts, there's kind of like two different ways of handling a musical artist that sort of revolutionize the field. One is like a Lou Reed Velvet underground, which revolutionized 30 years of music. But you don't know who Lou Reed is, most of you, and you don't know who the Velvet Underground is. It's large part because Lou Reed was like, I don't care if you listen or not. It's great music.

[Comfortably Smug]

I don't. I just like doing the art.

[Michael Duncan]

But the larger point is, like, we like some Bob Dylan here, too, and we like to bring it to everybody. We like the growth. We like the fact that you guys shared it amongst your friends, because it's all a community that we like to have fun with and enjoy and get more input in a larger community. And, you know, when you have 25 million people download your podcast, it's a pretty humbling deal, you know, it's a pretty humbling deal. To me.

[John Ashbrook]

That's honestly the funniest part is we'll get, like, very major media companies who have approached us and are talking after the election. Like, so this was the podcast election. What did you guys do? And for years, all we've done is just listen to the American people and say what they're telling us. And we had an election that was just listening to people and doing what they said. And, like, what is this genius move you've done?

[Michael Duncan]

Well, it's like Waylon, that we just played three chords in. The truth, brother. That's all we got. You know, that's the secret to the success. So we wanted to take some questions. And, Wolf, I don't know how you want to organize all of this, but if we've got a couple of questions. There's a microphone, right? Oh, we already have some volunteers. Fantastic. Come on up.

[Comfortably Smug]

Come on up.

[Michael Duncan]

Come on up. Anybody? Anybody? Feel like you're, you're. You can ask a question. What's your name?

[Comfortably Smug]

My name is Carolee.

[Michael Duncan]

My question is for Holmes at first.

[Comfortably Smug]

And I will note that the advantage.

[Michael Duncan]

Is for the viewing audience. I love your sweater. I actually have it in every color but that one.

[Comfortably Smug]

So can you tell me where you got.

[Michael Duncan]

Is it your beautiful wife's sweater? My wife's sweater. My wife.

[Comfortably Smug]

Wow.

[Michael Duncan]

So. So there's a lot. Where's Blitz? Where's Blair? There she is right there. So that's my beautiful wife right there. There's not a single thing in my wardrobe that my wife does not buy for me. Except usually what I wear on stage. And last, last time we did this, I wore a red sequence jacket. She was humiliated. Speaking of Red, John, where did you get your. Your sweater?

[Duncan]

How did this hockey jersey?

[Comfortably Smug]

Well, this is unbelievable. No, no, I won't have this. So I'm like, I'm gonna wear. I'm gonna wear the Three Wolves shirt. I'm gonna be an asshole. And John's like, I got a great idea. You know, I'll get a hockey jersey. I'm gonna look cool as shit. It's like, it's not fair.

[Duncan]

Well, Garth Brooks is.

[Comfortably Smug]

I can't wait to hear this windup.

[Duncan]

He's very focused on the bulls and the blood and the dust and the mud. But I like America. And what we learned is that America is better than Canada. It took and therefore you got to represent America.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

USA.

[Michael Duncan]

USA. USA. USA.

[Duncan]

U.S.A. thank you for that question.

[Comfortably Smug]

He got a free hockey jersey out of that.

[Michael Duncan]

Talk about your all time backfire. You weren't gonna nothing wrong.

[Duncan]

Nothing wrong with Garth Brooks, by the way.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay.

[Michael Duncan]

She didn't ask you where you were fitted, like what kind of Versace you have on?

[John Ashbrook]

No, it's all American made. I know a great tailor. Rochester, New York.

[Michael Duncan]

There you go.

[John Ashbrook]

Only American made. Head to toe.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is a stats and guidelines we've covered in great detail up to this point. So there's the whole answer to what is that we're dealing with. I promise to go with something sequence next time. Next question, please. Oh, geez.

[Comfortably Smug]

You know, I'm a super fan.

[Michael Duncan]

What's your name? What's your name?

[Comfortably Smug]

Ashley. So thank you guys for doing this.

[Michael Duncan]

Because I'm a huge fan, as you know. We're a huge fan of yours, Ashley. I sneak you information all the time. Okay, so if you could agree on one animal that you all had to fight together, what would the animal be together and who would die?

[Senator Tom Cotton]

First.

[Michael Duncan]

Whoa. Well, no, this is actually a very controversial question. I know. Like, I'm kind of sweating. The first thing you can't do is take on a chimpanzee, monkey, gorilla or anything in the Monkey family.

[John Ashbrook]

Like 95% muscle.

[Michael Duncan]

They're all muscle. They rip your arms off and beat you with them.

[Comfortably Smug]

Right. It's sort of deceptive because the hair covers the muscles, you know, like, if you actually shave them, they're yoked. They're fucking yoked. Like, you cannot mess around with the chimpanzee. I will tell you, you will lose. Please don't do it.

[Michael Duncan]

We've talked about this more than you, like, all the time. This is when we're off air.

[John Ashbrook]

The question is, what's the, like, greatest animal we could all take and who.

[Senator John Kennedy]

Agree on the animal?

[Michael Duncan]

The four of us together. Like, we've talked about the kangaroo and like, because if you ever seen again a shaved down kangaroo, they're absolutely yoked. But the thing is, they have a narrow gate, like big legs, mask the hip width. So if you get them at a side angle, you can tip their little asses over and then like, their kicking is no good, but somebody's gonna get up.

[Duncan]

I will tell you, Ashley, to be honest with you, the biggest animal we could take is the biggest animal on the planet. And that's the blue whale.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah.

[Duncan]

You plug the blowhole.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah.

[Duncan]

And once you do that, it's done.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah.

[Duncan]

And we can work together as a team. We 500 episodes together as a team. We plug the blowhole, the blue whale is done. And think about the oil.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah. It's a renewal fuel nation swallowed first though, right?

[Michael Duncan]

We could fuel. Well, some like smug's going down like plankton. No question about that.

[John Ashbrook]

So I actually, in college, I had to take environmental science and the teacher gave me an F on a paper that was thoroughly researched and was the truth. And here's what the paper said is if people are worried about oceans rising, I calculated this. We kill every whale. You kill every whale and you pull them out of the ocean and it counters any number that they put up for how high the sea levels are gonna get.

[Michael Duncan]

Because it's a volume distillation. Right.

[John Ashbrook]

I did the math and she still didn't like it. And so listen, facts don't matter to them. The science isn't settled. We have to hunt them all down.

[Michael Duncan]

See, you'll be surprised to find out our resident Indian is great at math.

[John Ashbrook]

I'm terrific at math.

[Michael Duncan]

He can also spell the shit out of anything, which is the I'll challenge anybody. That is a brilliant deal. Is it? You want to throw one more out? Dunks.

[Comfortably Smug]

Well, no. I mean, I think Ashbrook is right. I think you cork it. You cork the. The blowhole.

[Michael Duncan]

Could you do it with a fist if you didn't have a foreign object?

[Comfortably Smug]

You cork it. You and I. You and I join hands, and we. We execute some sort of, like, sleeper maneuver on the whale.

[Michael Duncan]

Like behind the. Behind the thin.

[Comfortably Smug]

Exactly. Yeah, exactly. And then we sort of, like, curl.

[Michael Duncan]

It around and then send Smash up.

[Comfortably Smug]

Smug is dead at this point.

[Michael Duncan]

No, he's playing 100%. He's gonna get.

[John Ashbrook]

I'm managing. I'm on the beach.

[Comfortably Smug]

But think. I mean, think not just of the oil. Think of the precious, precious ambergris that makes our wonderful perfumes in this country.

[Michael Duncan]

Yes.

[Comfortably Smug]

I mean, we could make so much money, we'd be rich. We'd. Heck, we could retire.

[Michael Duncan]

On one blue whale.

[Comfortably Smug]

On one blue whale.

[Michael Duncan]

What a great question, Ashley. We've been dying to answer that for years. Next question, please. What's up? Holy shit.

[Comfortably Smug]

Robbie.

[John Ashbrook]

Hey, what's up, buddy?

[Michael Duncan]

Robbie, what are you doing here?

[Comfortably Smug]

I don't know.

[Michael Duncan]

Mike.

[John Ashbrook]

I feel bad for, you know, never.

[Michael Duncan]

Coming to any of your previous invitations.

[Comfortably Smug]

Oh, thank you.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, thanks for advertising that. All right, so we talk about politics.

[John Ashbrook]

A lot, so let's get a little personal.

[Michael Duncan]

Each of your favorite musical artists.

[John Ashbrook]

And, Mike, your favorite story from iu.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Duncan]

Great question, Robbie. Great question.

[Michael Duncan]

No, I. Kilroy's.

[Comfortably Smug]

No, you go first.

[Michael Duncan]

The IU one we'll. We'll hold off on because it gets complicated, and his wife's in here, so, you know, I mean, you got to be serious about that kind of stuff. Listen, my favorite musical artist is in some ways, representative that we've got going on here, and it's different, Right? It's the band.

[John Ashbrook]

Yeah. And great, great hit.

[Michael Duncan]

It's like a 70s band. I don't expect a lot of people to. To know the band. If you've never seen the Last Waltz, you ought to get that thing and stream that immediately. The. The reason I. First of all, I play great music, incredible singers and songwriters, but more importantly, every single other artist of their generation wanted and sought after the ability to go play music with them. Right? And that's what we like to do in the conservative space, which is every single. You saw it here tonight. You know, MK's in the back, Pavlich is up here. We've had Shapiro and Tucker and Megan and everybody else, we like to go play music with the band, and we like to bring everybody in and have conversations the likes of which most people aren't actually privy to, because everybody thinks that everybody's competing against one another. And they're not. We're not. That's not the way we see the conservative ecosystem. We see it as. There's a media culture out there in corporate media that has deliberately, over years, tried to manipulate the American public with the information that they provide. They bundle it in cable services, they throw it out there for people. People. And they say, this is your content. This is your nightly news. This is your local news. This is the stuff that we tell you is happening. And what's happened over the last 10 years is. It's entirely changed. You come to places like this, and if we can get together with everybody else and play the chords that everybody else is playing and they can come play it with us, you can hear the real truth. That's why I love what the band's done. That's why I'm so committed to this band project.

[John Ashbrook]

I. So I have an answer that plays right off of that. So the band. The best performance of Comfortably Numb was Roger Waters with the band. And my name's actually a play off of Comfortably Numb.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, is it really?

[John Ashbrook]

Yeah. Deep lore. Deep lore. I didn't know that I would say breaking news.

[Michael Duncan]

Deep.

[John Ashbrook]

I never tell anyone. It's a secret. Only my wife knew. Until tonight.

[Michael Duncan]

Don't tell anybody.

[John Ashbrook]

I'd say it was Pink Floyd, but probably Fleetwood Mac now. And any music that's been released in, like, the past 10 years, I have no clue what the hell it is. I apologize.

[Michael Duncan]

Not interested.

[John Ashbrook]

Yeah.

[Michael Duncan]

What do you got?

[Comfortably Smug]

I don't know. I. I mean. So there's two answers to this. I think.

[Michael Duncan]

Number one, it's gonna be complicated.

[Comfortably Smug]

Well, go fuck you. I. I mean, I think think the band that's most like us is Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. And that is because. And that's one of the greatest shows I ever went to. I actually skipped a final in college to actually go to a. I thought.

[John Ashbrook]

You'Re gonna say there's one star and then some Italian.

[Comfortably Smug]

No, not enough Italians. Not enough Italians to make fun of. But. But it's. If you've ever been to a Bruce show, there's throwing guitars around and, you know, they're doing. And it's a party, and he's doing the thing, and he's doing 100. 100 of the time.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

From start to finish. And that's what I love about the show. I mean, my. My favorite act I ever saw live was the Room on Fire. The Strokes, dude, great tour. Yeah. It's like 2000.

[Michael Duncan]

Careful. Careful not to go Boomer on it, dude. Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

Which is great. I saw him in the Egyptian Room in Indianapolis. Indianapolis is an incredible place, and it's the best venue for anything ever and the best town in America. So Indianapolis rules.

[John Ashbrook]

But hold on.

[Michael Duncan]

You got to go quick, because we got. We got a special guest.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah, well, we got a special guest.

[Michael Duncan]

Tell them about. Tell them about Kill Rice.

[Comfortably Smug]

What's more honest to the show is. Is probably Bruce.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

Bruce is us.

[Michael Duncan]

All right, quickly.

[Duncan]

Yeah, very quickly. I love so much. So many different types of music, and I love the band. And, you know, Josh basically took my. My thing.

[Comfortably Smug]

But you gotta hurry, though.

[Duncan]

Now I will say the Highwaymen.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

Oh, there you go.

[Michael Duncan]

What a great answer.

[Duncan]

Yeah.

[Michael Duncan]

Because Willy Whalen and the boys.

[Duncan]

Yeah, they are so good. They are so good. Everybody's got something a little bit different.

[Michael Duncan]

Little Kristofferson.

[Duncan]

Yeah.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah. That's great stuff.

[Duncan]

You can't beat him.

[Michael Duncan]

Good answer. Anyway, thanks for your questions. We're gonna stick around afterwards for those of you who are, like, interested in a little bit more, and we can talk individually. Yeah, we can't.

[Duncan]

IU story.

[Michael Duncan]

I can't. And we'll get the IU story. We'll get the. We'll get to.

[Comfortably Smug]

At the bar.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah. Honestly, off mic, because it's inappropriate, and I don't. But we can't. We literally can't leave this guy waiting. He is a absolute gentleman. Somebody who has been an incredible friend of the program, walked through his entire experience almost from day one. We know his family. He has been. I mean, like a. Almost a day one listener of this program. Governor Kemp, ladies and gentlemen. So unlike Milwaukee, where you just go, dogs.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

How about them damn dogs?

[Michael Duncan]

You guys, I don't know if you. I mean, the OG's know this, but when we did the debate, the first sort of live venue game day set that we ever did was the first Republican debate. This. Dude, we had an event with you in Georgia probably six months before that, and we were kind of hatching out this idea, and we're like, hey, man, how do you feel about throwing some meat on the barbecue and being a part of our tailgate? And he was like. And all the staff is like, we got a real busy schedule. I'm not sure that. That. I'm not sure that that works. And Kemp immediately leans forward. He's like, I'll be there. I'll be there. What do you need? And you showed up literally for no other reason than to come smoke some meats and the grill and the full pig.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay, so let me give you the whole backstory here, because the pig had an accident.

[Michael Duncan]

The pig crashed on the way to the venue.

[Comfortably Smug]

The pig crashed. The pig. The guy who was supposed to roast the pig crashed on the highway.

[Michael Duncan]

There was a pig just laying out in the middle of Milwaukee freeway, and.

[Comfortably Smug]

He had to go to the hospital. God bless him. I. I feel bad.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

The pig was cold, dead. Beer was hot that day.

[Comfortably Smug]

That's what. Yeah, right. It was like 110 degrees. So.

[John Ashbrook]

True story. They wouldn't tell me the name of him. I wanted to leave a negative review on Yelp. He promised he would bring a pig for Governor Kemp.

[Michael Duncan]

We had Kemp.

[Comfortably Smug]

We had. And so we had to get someone on staff to find like a pork shoulder to, like throw it on the spit.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

So we had something for Governor Kemp and.

[Michael Duncan]

But you, unbelievably, against all odds, you did it. It was 115 degrees or something like that.

[John Ashbrook]

I don't know if you needed a barbecue at that point.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

No, you did not. But congratulations on 500 guys.

[Michael Duncan]

That's awesome.

[John Ashbrook]

So much.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

And I just want you to know I came tonight because I heard y'all show a couple of weeks ago when you were talking about people that been on four and five times, and y'all were gonna give them like a fleece jacket or something. So, like, you want in on my jacket?

[Michael Duncan]

Wolf, Wolf, we need a jacket.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

Hand embroidered jacket.

[Duncan]

Yeah. Michael Duncan will sew that with his own hand.

[Comfortably Smug]

I have carpal tunnel.

[Michael Duncan]

No, we're gonna get you jacket. We're gonna get you jacket. It's gonna be very impressive. Maybe it's green. Maybe a green jacket. Maybe. Maybe we can do more green jacket things.

[Comfortably Smug]

You can't insinuate shit like that. You never get on the course. That's right.

[John Ashbrook]

So what he's saying is you can get us memberships at Augusta, right?

[Governor Brian Kemp]

I can't get a membership with a guy.

[Michael Duncan]

It's a great. Every time I take a run at camp about getting on Augusta, and every time he's like, even if I could.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

That'S not something you ask. That's covert, man.

[Michael Duncan]

Totally. All right, so you're up here, you got the rga, got a big role here, bunch of governors. We, I mean, look, we all know how important, and we've seen. Seen it over the last three weeks how important it is to have conservative government at the federal level. None of this shit gets implemented downstream unless you got Republican governors. I know that that is primarily what you're focused on.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

Yeah. Look, it's so good to have a friend in the White House that Republican governors can work with. If you think about, you know, where we were in the first Trump administration, you had governors like us that's had Georgia National Guard troops on the border since 2019. And now to have somebody in the White House that we can actually work with to secure the southern border, I mean, you see what's going on there now. Republican governors over the last, really, two or three years. I don't know how many press conference we've done down there supporting Governor Abbott, calling on the Biden administration, do this, that and other, just to meet with us to talk about the things that we could do that we wanted to.

[Michael Duncan]

Be helpful, because that's all you all talk about it.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

I mean, we're all getting invaded. Every state's a border state. We're dealing with fentanyl, we're dealing with human trafficking. We're dealing with just all this other, you know, all these people that are coming in, all the problems that's created. And then now, you know, literally in less than a month, I mean, the numbers at the border have plummeted because of good policies that we've been talking about for three years. So we're, you know, I had an op ed I put out today that was on fox.com or fox digital, I guess it was. But really talking about how excited the Republican governors are to have a friend back in the White House that we can work on, on government efficiency, securing the border, you know, getting our economy rolling again.

[Comfortably Smug]

Well, they listen to you.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

Just doing. Doing.

[Michael Duncan]

Listen.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

Yeah, just doing all the good things. Then you think about the Cabinet secretaries that we have, the. We can work with now, whether it's on transportation, health care, energy, just all these things. It's. It's so refreshing. And I think, you know, it's really the reason there's so much optimism around the country right now.

[Michael Duncan]

No question about it. I mean, we all were aware of the Lake and Riley situation in Georgia. We're all aware of the backstory of that somebody being housed in New York on taxpayer dollars, shipped down on taxpayer dollars down to your state. And, like, I'm just wondering, you know, before even that happened, how many conversations would they have with you about the migratory crisis that your state experienced firsthand?

[Governor Brian Kemp]

I mean, one of the things, like we wrote a letter from you know, whatever it was, 27, 28 governors asking the Department of Homeland Security to just tell us, you know, if you're not going to secure the border and you're not going to do any of this stuff, just tell us who these people are and where you're sending them across the country. So at least the governors know, like, who, who's in your state, who are you dealing with? Are they criminals or not? And like, you couldn't even get that.

[Michael Duncan]

I mean, just nothing, right.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

Crickets from that. I think you look, and now you look at what you're seeing. I mean, and that's really, I think the problem the Democrats have right now. I mean, they've just been, been so out of touch on those kind of issues. I mean, they really don't understand where the principles are. So now with President Trump throwing so much out and the administration so throwing so much out every day, they don't know what to target because they first have to decide, like, we got to figure out what we believe in and then we can figure out what to go after. I mean, look, you may not like some Republicans positions, but at least you know what they think. You know, they will tell you honest what their principles are, what they believe in. And I think the biggest problem the Democrats have right now is they just don't understand what their principles are. And they have to have somebody in leadership tell them, like, what is it that we believe in? Well, that's not the case with the Republican governors. I mean, we've got Republican governors from across the spectrum, whether it's from New Hampshire to Texas to, you know, Florida or, you know, Oklahoma. But at least you know what these people believe them on that, on that.

[Duncan]

Point, you've got to notice a, just a night and day difference from last year at this time to this year at this time. I mean, talk about what you're seeing as a governor, about the support you're getting from the federal government today that you didn't get last year at this time.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

No, I mean, it really is just night and day. I mean, and you have a federal government now that is doing the things that really Republicans, governors have been doing for decades. And I think especially coming out of COVID is really where you saw that. Like, if you, if you want to understand why it's important who your governor is, you can go back and look at COVID policies, whether it's reopening the economy, getting your kids back in the classroom, are you going to close churches or not? Oh, it's okay. We can allow our Casinos to operate, but we're not going to allow our churches to. Yeah, I mean, just that kind of insanity. You know, the things that you're seeing in health care now, when you think about cdc, public health and other things where people are trying to just make Americans be in the herd mentality that you have to do this, and it ends up having really a reverse effect on things like vaccines and other things, because people just didn't trust the damn government because they were just trying to control people. And it was the Republican governors that were actually standing up and going, hey, you know, we're not going to do this, and we're going to stand up and do what our people want. And I know we dealt with that when we.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, you were first through the wall.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

Well, look, when we reopened the economy, I had. I told people, I said, look, our people are not going to sit in the basement and lose everything that they got. Because I have been there in that position, both Marty and I. My wife is small business people. We be home at Friday night. We're, like, barely paid. The people working for us couldn't pay all our suppliers, about to lose everything we got, as, you know, builders and realtors during the Obama recession, literally fighting week to week to survive. And I just told, people are not going to sit in their basement and lose everything they got because some government bureaucrat, you know, is worried about this. This virus. And it's just.

[Michael Duncan]

It's just so refreshing.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

And I think that's what you're seeing now in the White House. You got people that are. That are real. You know, they're business people. They're people that they listen, they know. And it's such a difference in the communication. I mean, look, even if you disagree with some things that the president may be saying or whatever, at least he's saying something. I mean, Joe Biden. Joe Biden couldn't. I mean, part of America's problem is we did not have a president that could state a case for why we need to be for something in the country. And that's very important for us, regardless of who the president is, whether it's Republican or Democrat, we need to have somebody that can tell us, like, why we're doing this and why we should support that. Then we make our own decision whether we want to do that tonight. But we didn't even have the president, you know, giving us the option to decide before. But thankfully, it's a new sheriff in town and the Republican governors are looking forward to working with him.

[Michael Duncan]

All right, one last one.

[John Ashbrook]

Smug so I'm always happy to see my friends succeed. And in this new role that you have with rga, I always like to give my friends advice.

[Michael Duncan]

Oh, this is good.

[John Ashbrook]

So I live in North Carolina, and we just had a gubernatorial election. I would highly advise you to do an Internet search on these candidates.

[Comfortably Smug]

Who.

[John Ashbrook]

Are running for office, because, God, we need a Republican governor in North Carolina.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

Well, the best advice I could give you is to move to Georgia. That solves all your problems. And we got a great airport. I know what a great. I know how much you enjoy flying. For anybody that's a regular listener on the program, I gave Smug a pair of Delta the airline wings the other day.

[Michael Duncan]

Where's them? Probably I'm surprised they're not on tonight. Listen, last question that. I know you got to go.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

That was the last question.

[Michael Duncan]

No, no, last one. Listen, the only buddy who lobbied harder to get in than the people who are here are the people of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, and they're wondering a lot about where you're heading with all that.

[John Ashbrook]

Well, hey, look, Alex Leitrom's here, right?

[Governor Brian Kemp]

He's like, I know that y'all had Senator Kennedy and Senator Cotton. I'm big fans of both of them, but, you know, I had that the governor had to come on last. Kind of calm things down.

[Michael Duncan]

Don't do this to new.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

Back to reality.

[Michael Duncan]

Don't do this to new. New. Don't do it.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

We are. We are trying to pass tort reform in the great state of Georgia.

[Senator John Kennedy]

There you go.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

And listen, I tell people. They're like, what are you going to do? I'm like, I'm going to do what I told people we were campaigning. So I wasn't on the ballot in 2024, but I worked very hard to make sure we held our Republican majorities, our House majorities in the state of Georgia, very tough right now. We held three incumbents in districts that Kamala Harris won. We beat a Democrat incumbent in a district that Harris beat Trump in. Held our majorities. And then we also, obviously put Georgia back in the red column for President Trump.

[Comfortably Smug]

Oh, yeah, go.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

And I've told people we cannot get ahead of our skis here. Like, we all campaigned on things just like the president did. We did so in Georgia on, like, tort reform, we're doing another tax cut. We're doing a tax refund. You know, a lot of other different things. I said, we need to deliver for the people on what we promised, and everything else take care of itself. So we got till the first part of April to do that. And then we'll let politics take over after that.

[Michael Duncan]

We'll let politics take care of that. And maybe the next senator from the great state of Georgia, Governor Kemp.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

Governor Kemp, congratulations.

[Michael Duncan]

Thank you so much. Thanks for having me, Marty. Thank you.

[John Ashbrook]

Thank you so much. Always a pleasure.

[Michael Duncan]

God, he's the best, isn't he? Just awesome. All right, so we can't leave this thing without playing the game, right? And we, again, I guess we're going to go back. You know what's coming now. You know what's coming. We're going to. We're going to go to. We all asked you what game you wanted to play. We all know what game you wanted to play. But, like, let's throw this up here anyway. With comment, too.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah, it's coming.

[Michael Duncan]

Congrats. King of the Hill.

[Comfortably Smug]

It's King of the Hill. It's King of the Hill.

[Michael Duncan]

It's King of the Hill.

[Comfortably Smug]

The signature game of the ruthless variety.

[Michael Duncan]

It is the signature game of the ruthless variety program.

[Comfortably Smug]

So all, all of you who are here, obviously you're big fans of the show and you know the drill. But for all of the people who are new to the show and listening and listening, and there are many of those, the way that we work this game is that we have contestants, people who were former Republicans, people who lost their minds.

[Michael Duncan]

They made a living being, quote, unquote, conservatives, right? Fiscal conservatives, economic foreign policy conservatives, social conservatives. All these people made a living espousing their beliefs that they were the true conservative, true conservatives.

[Comfortably Smug]

And when Donald Trump became president, they lost their minds and they lost their minds for our enjoyment, you know. And so now we have this game called King of the Hill. And so if you're new to the variety program and you're listening to this for the first time, you're going to enjoy, enjoy it a lot. We have a defending champion who I think is borderline unfair. Josh.

[Michael Duncan]

Everybody give it up for Sharon Micheri. Sherry McJacobis.

[Comfortably Smug]

And we're doing this. We're doing this OG we're doing this OG I am the judge, which is.

[Michael Duncan]

The way we started. The way we started 50 of these games.

[Comfortably Smug]

We've done so many, many of these games.

[Michael Duncan]

And smug. And I was smug.

[Comfortably Smug]

And smug is the challenger.

[Duncan]

Wait, who, who, who do you have? Smug.

[John Ashbrook]

I could not be more confident. I've got Bill Crystal.

[Comfortably Smug]

This is, this is a battle of titans. This is the rumble in the jungle.

[Michael Duncan]

A historic battle.

[Comfortably Smug]

Ali Frasier. I think we have to go R.

[Duncan]

Ladies and gentlemen, your Attention, please. It's time for King of the Hill. In the blue corner, fighting out of Pierre Omadia's checkbook, Bill War now.

[Comfortably Smug]

War. Fox forever.

[Duncan]

Crystal. And now, in the red corner, fighting from her own Twitter account, and current champion of the world, Sherry Jacoba.

[Comfortably Smug]

Wow.

[Michael Duncan]

She's on a three game heater. By the way, for those of you who think that those things are pre taped, you now know they are not. They're live. Each and every time, baby.

[Comfortably Smug]

We done it deliberate every time.

[Michael Duncan]

Okay? So I'm the champion.

[Comfortably Smug]

You're the champion. You have to go first.

[Michael Duncan]

And Smash is the bailiff.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yes, that's right.

[Michael Duncan]

Okay, I'm just. Listen. For those of you who follow the show over the last couple of weeks, I'm a three game heater, okay? Sherry is on a run. And frankly, when Sherry's on a run, you just relax, you sit back and you let it happen. And that's what we've got here for you. Folks. Tonight you're gonna enjoy every bit of. Exhibit number five, please, if you don't mind. Trump Spaghetti. Spaghetti is on it. Trump and Elon want to kill off black, brown, disabled, elderly, and the poor so Elon can steal more. And then. And then wait. And then wait. Via YouTube. She links her own channel. It's a misuse of the Internet, even. Despite all of that, this is a banger amongst bangers. I couldn't be more proud to present that as my.

[Comfortably Smug]

This is like, you know, this is. This is like in the Grinch who Stole Christmas, where my heart grew three times smaller because I'm so disappointed in her misuse of the Internet.

[John Ashbrook]

So here's the thing, folks. I knew Sherry means crazy, so I brought the crazy, too.

[Comfortably Smug]

Let's go, Spaghettz.

[John Ashbrook]

Can we get exhibit 20, please? Bill Kristol. It's heartening that today the leaders of the two major parties in Germany are unequivocally anti Nazi and anti fascist. It's horrifying that today the President and Vice President of the United States of America are not.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah, we're fighting fire with fire.

[Duncan]

That is. That's a nuclear weapon.

[Michael Duncan]

You met Sherry where she was. That's a deep, dark hole.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

Bill doesn't want to lose.

[John Ashbrook]

He's like, I gotta tweet some fire.

[Michael Duncan]

Don't you think at some level that they do this for us? They know they do, right? I mean, they know that what we do. They have to know.

[Comfortably Smug]

People.

[John Ashbrook]

All your tweets are our folks being like, you're fucking crazy.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah. And they tag them in Their middle. Like, congratulations on your win this week. And they tagged them. We. They block.

[Comfortably Smug]

I just think. I think at some point we need to develop it Ruthless. Like a workers comp program for. For like having to delve through this bullshit on the Internet. Like, there is an emotional toll. Physical.

[John Ashbrook]

It's traumatic head injuries.

[Comfortably Smug]

Reading this, it is cte. There is a class action lawsuit waiting to happen here on the show.

[Michael Duncan]

Don't give spaghetti any ideas with this.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yeah, I see him there. He looks so handsome.

[Michael Duncan]

He does look handsome. Spaghetti in the back, ladies and gentlemen, right under the exit sign. Just eating his marinara and enjoying the evening.

[John Ashbrook]

I just.

[Comfortably Smug]

I'm just glad he didn't walk out after my Mussolini joke.

[Michael Duncan]

No, he's still here.

[Comfortably Smug]

He's still here, I think. Oh, gosh. These are good.

[Michael Duncan]

Tough. Do you want to review?

[Comfortably Smug]

It's tough.

[Michael Duncan]

You want to review?

[John Ashbrook]

How about the audience? One or two?

[Comfortably Smug]

Hold on.

[John Ashbrook]

The audience knew who was.

[Michael Duncan]

Do we have a bailiff?

[Comfortably Smug]

Hey, we don't. We don't have a people's court. We have a judge's court.

[Michael Duncan]

Thank you. Thank you, your honor.

[Comfortably Smug]

And. And I just. I want to see Holmes's take one more time.

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

Thank you. Let's throw it back up that real quick.

[Michael Duncan]

Number six or five. Yeah, no, five. There it is. This is. Trump and Elon want to kill off black, disabled, and elderly and poor so Elon can steal more. I mean, what a while.

[Duncan]

I don't know how you make a decision here, Judge. This is very difficult.

[Michael Duncan]

No, no, dude, that does. It doesn't get worse than that. Like, that is. That's a nuclear.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay, guy, just see smogs. One more.

[John Ashbrook]

Exhibit 20, please.

[Comfortably Smug]

This is like. Jeez.

[Michael Duncan]

Disabled.

[John Ashbrook]

That today the leaders of the two major parties of Germany are unequivocally, specifically anti Nazi and anti fascist. It's horrifying that today the president and Vice President, United States of America are not.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay, I've rendered a verdict. It is very difficult to do this, but I think ultimately the difference between these two takes. They're both fucking crazy. These people need to be in SSRIs and RFK. Please, I beseech you, sir, fix the mental health care crisis in our country. But the difference between these two is they're both crazy. But there's an additional element in Smug's which turns it back on the Republicans and says that we're the Nazis. And for that reason, Smug wins round one.

[Michael Duncan]

Boo. Boo.

[Comfortably Smug]

Wrong. Wow. He hates the court.

[Michael Duncan]

Well, I got screwed.

[John Ashbrook]

So for this take, I really wanted to highlight the spirit of game, which is. These are supposed to be conservatives, right? They're the true conservatives.

[Comfortably Smug]

Yes.

[John Ashbrook]

Exhibit 23. Like Jordan, Bill Kristol. What can Democrats do? Well, here's something they can do if, like, aoc, they've got the stomach for it. They can step ford and spit in the eye of the authoritarian bullies. Not because the bullets won't retaliate, but because they know they will. Dude, this guy is like, AOC is what we should do. True conservative.

[Governor Brian Kemp]

Bill.

[John Ashbrook]

Christian.

[Comfortably Smug]

I love when this face offers consulting advice. Like he's ever consulted a single candidate in the country. It's incredible.

[Michael Duncan]

I love the casual fuck face. That's also really him. A fun little thing you only get here on the Roots of Friday program.

[Comfortably Smug]

This guy's never done anything successful in his life.

[John Ashbrook]

He's gonna be so mad McClain, when he hears this. He's like, oh, my God, my groundskeeper's.

[Michael Duncan]

Gonna hear about this.

[Comfortably Smug]

My grandfather's gonna be so pissed.

[Michael Duncan]

Meanwhile, it's groundkeeper's a, like, regular listener, and it's like, fuck you, Bill. Crystal. Okay, well, you know, look, you had what seemed to me to be a soft spot for the Nazi piece, so I've got a lot of choices. And so you play the judge as much as you play the game, folks. That's just the way you do it. After you've played 100 rounds of this. Let's put it up. Exhibit 7. Elon Musk practices and supports eugenics just like Hitler did. He's taking action to kill off or let die vulnerable or disadvantaged populations to save money so that there's more for him and the other evil oligarch thugs to steal.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay? So this one's really super easy. You win.

[Michael Duncan]

Thank you. Thank you.

[John Ashbrook]

That was good.

[Comfortably Smug]

That was good.

[Michael Duncan]

I just had to know where the Nazi thing was. If we were like, are we in on Nazis? Are we out on Nazis? It turns out we were very in on them. Okay. God, I got good incel content. I've got a lot of great stuff. Here's one that I think is going to play just for this judge and jury.

[Comfortably Smug]

Okay?

[Michael Duncan]

That is in a very different category because I've got like 17 of them in this MIT full that spaghetti has provided that fall into the same category of things that we've already talked about, but for the interest of this audience, we might as well spread our wings a little bit, shouldn't we? Let's go to the Exhibit 6, please. She is retweeting Pete Buttigieg. Boot, Peter Jej. Where she says we need all capitals. Him doing this every day in an official capacity behind a podium in the Capitol building, every damned day. It's quote unquote, special senior advisor to leadership. And yes, he would advise. He wouldn't just be a mouthpiece. Pete Buttigieg could be our Vladimir Zielinski.

[Duncan]

Oh, my goodness.

[Comfortably Smug]

Wow.

[John Ashbrook]

I got an answer. Okay, I know, but I still got an answer.

[Comfortably Smug]

This is the best, best game ever.

[John Ashbrook]

Truly. RFK Jr. If you're listening, there's a brain damage epidemic in this country. I'm gonna get right to it. Exhibit 24, true conservative and patriot Bill Kristol. Looking at photos of the American and Russian delegations meeting today in Saudi Arabia, I had two reactions. The first was my hope that this American mission abroad fails.

[Senator John Kennedy]

Healthy.

[Michael Duncan]

Just a street rooting YouTube country play.

[John Ashbrook]

Oh, that's good. The second was how discomforting it is.

[Michael Duncan]

To root for that failure.

[John Ashbrook]

He's like, number one. I hope America loses. Thanks, everybody.

[Comfortably Smug]

But all.

[Michael Duncan]

But also, I'm aware of it.

[John Ashbrook]

Yeah, he's like, I'm a piece of shit. But still, I'm gonna say it, folks.

[Michael Duncan]

This is tough to act as though, but Pettigieg is the thought leader of our times. And also that the leader of our times is Zelensky is something new. It is fantastic. It can't be replicated, I don't think in the English language, frankly. It takes time in, like, real brain damage. Bailiff.

[Comfortably Smug]

Bailiff. I only. I. I only think it's.

[Michael Duncan]

The bailiff has been pretty quiet.

[Comfortably Smug]

Smug is provided an opportunity to make his case as well because. Because Holmes did. Smug, do you have a final statement that you would like?

[John Ashbrook]

Certainly. This is our 500th episode. Thanks to all of you. Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

Playing to the crowd. I love it.

[John Ashbrook]

And in the spirit of the show, I thought the best way to reveal the fake con that this guy's been running is to say I'm the real conservative. I'm the real patriot. I'm rooting for America to fail. That's a mask off moment. And that's the spirit of King of the Hill.

[Comfortably Smug]

This is tough. This is tough because this really is like the Rumble in the Jungle. Boot. Ali, Frazier, really, really tough. Peter G. I think just at the end of the day, what is. God damn it.

[Michael Duncan]

It's. Dude, it's boot.

[Comfortably Smug]

It's. No, it's not poo. It's not poo. What. What is most offensive in that is like, he will be our Zelinsky. What does that even mean? What is that? What does that even mean? And for that reason, it's like. It's like comparing, like, Conte Partiro and Neville in Dorma, and you win. They're the best, and that's the best. You win.

[John Ashbrook]

That's a crazy case.

[Michael Duncan]

Four time. Four time. Back to back to back to back to back.

[Comfortably Smug]

When I saw that listening. There is a health care crisis in this country. Please solve it.

[John Ashbrook]

I saw that Zelensky. I was like, ah, it's over, isn't it?

[Michael Duncan]

Listen, we would be remiss. First of all, thank you. Thank you all. You jumped on these tickets really early. They sold out in, like, an hour, and you got them. You're here because you were all over this first thing in the morning. You're the super fans. Can't thank you enough, really, honestly. Big round of applause for all of you.

[John Ashbrook]

Thank you all so much.

[Michael Duncan]

Second, we're going to do a lot more of this. We're going to do a lot more, and we're going to do bigger venues. We do this because this is like our, you know, you remember the old singer songwriter forums, where everybody comes back to, like, where they're comfortable and, like, with the people they're comfortable with and they can play the songs they want to play. Like, that's kind of this for us. And so you being a part of that is really important. We're gonna get bigger. We're gonna go do a bunch of stuff. We took a couple years. We were doing a bunch of political things. We were at, you know, conventions and speeches and rallies and debates and things like that. We're gonna be. Be doing more of this stuff. So please come along the ride with us. And then lastly, listen, you are responsible for us just absolutely loving what it is that we do. And there's not a single day that feels like work when we're up here. And I think all these guys have expressed it in some way that you're a part of our family, and hopefully we're a part of yours. Feels like we're all sort of friends. Nobody's a stranger when we go do stuff like this. And all across the country, you guys would be shocked when you show up in the middle of Minnesota and everybody's.

[Comfortably Smug]

Like, can I add one thing?

[Michael Duncan]

Yeah.

[Comfortably Smug]

I think the most important thing in politics is loyalty. And all the people that came on this stage tonight, whether it's Mary, Kathryn Ham, Katie Pavlich, Governor Kemp, these are people that made our show right. And at the end of the day, my grandfather always taught me, like, you got to dance with the one who brought you. And I think that's the most important lesson in politics and in life. And I hope everybody here who's here on this, was watching this, knows that that's, like, a very valuable thing that we value, too, and it's why you're family to us. So thank you so much for coming.

[Michael Duncan]

So with that smug. I think we did it.

[John Ashbrook]

I think so. Absolute banger of an episode. Gentlemen, thank you all for 500 episodes. Thank you so much. Senator Cotton, thank you so much. Senator Kennedy, thank you so much. Katie Pavlis. Thank you so much. MK so until next time, minions, keep the faith, hold the line, and own the lives. We'll see you Tuesday.

[Comfortably Smug]

Stay ruthless.