Selling is not about how well you "toast," pitch, or manufacture a presentation; it’s about the quality of the conversations you have and the questions you ask.

Too many Nigerian business people think that being the loudest person in the room—the one who won't shut up in networking sessions about their first-class degree or their five job offers—is the way to advance an agenda. In reality, those people are often seen as "odious." If you want to actually grow your business, you need to master Qualification and Discovery (Q&D).

As a former lawyer turned business consultant who has done everything from event photography to family export businesses, I’ve learned that you must have a process to figure out who you are talking to, what they want, and what they are running away from. I recently found an old client questionnaire from my early days as a wedding photographer (about 2012-2015), and it’s a perfect practical example of how this works.

Don’t Turn Your Sales Process Into JAMB Questions

On my old checklist, I had fields for the bride’s name, number, and email. But here is the secret: you have to be creative and conversational. If you stand there with a clipboard asking, "What is your name? What is your phone number?" like a robotic interrogator, people will get annoyed.

Instead, build rapport. I used to tell people I’m a "Benue boy" to spark a connection. I’d ask for permission to take notes so I wouldn't forget important details, and nobody ever told me no. This allowed me to follow up later and say, "How is Chuks doing?" (the groom) because I actually took the time to learn his name.

The Power of Timelines and Urgency

If you are talking to someone who has a need but no sense of urgency, you don’t have a deal. I once spent an hour talking to a friend about shooting her wedding in the East, only to realize at the end that her boyfriend hadn't even proposed yet! I felt like an idiot because I didn't follow my process.

Whether you are an architect asking about a "groundbreaking ceremony" or a solar salesman asking when a project needs to be up and running, you must test the timeline. If they tell you the wedding is next week, they’re probably just looking for the cheapest person in a rush—and that’s usually a bad sign.

"Cheating" to Find the Money

I used to have "stylistic" ways to figure out if a couple had money without asking for their bank statement. I’d ask:

"Are you a DIY (Do-It-Yourself) couple?" This helped me see if they were trying to save every kobo or if they were sophisticated enough to want to handle the details.

"Where are the venues?" If the father’s house is in Maitama and the reception is at Dunes, I knew they had "serious bar" (money), and I could tailor my proposal accordingly.

Understanding Scope and Family Politics

You cannot issue a quote until you’ve done Q&D. I needed to know the size of the wedding party to know if I needed one assistant or five. If I quoted XYZ amount and then realized the wedding was in Lagos and required flights and hotels I hadn't factored in, I’d look unprofessional trying to change the price later.

I even asked about family challenges. You don't want to walk into a situation where the bridesmaids are in "cliques" because of polygamous family drama and not know why. Knowing these dynamics helps you manage the event and build deeper trust.

The Final Step: The Three-Proposal Rule

Once you have the information, move the conversation to a controlled environment.

When it’s time to talk pricing, always put three proposals on the table (Option A, B, and C). If you only give one option, the answer is just "yes" or "no." With three options, you stay in the game and help the client find a "realistic budget" that fits their taste, not yours.

Q&D is a process that evolves with your experience. It might feel like a crutch at first, but eventually, you’ll be able to decode a client's needs with just a few sharp questions.