Modesty, DPDR, and Conviction ft Amoyea Hassan

Summary

Podcast Summary: Saved Not Soft Episode - "Modesty, DPDR, and Conviction ft. Amoyea Hassan"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Saved Not Soft
• Host/Author: Emmy Moore
• Episode Title: Modesty, DPDR, and Conviction ft. Amoyea Hassan
• Release Date: April 29, 2025
• Description: Navigating the Christian lifestyle is beyond challenging, especially facing the obstacles of today’s world. Each week, we’ll be diving into topics of how to rise up from culture, modeling Christ to others, theology, hot topics, and much more! Buckle up with your host, Emy Moore; we’re going on a fruitful journey!

---

1. Introduction to the Episode

Emmy Moore welcomes listeners to a special episode of Saved Not Soft, introducing her guest, Amoyea Hassan. The episode promises deep dives into personal struggles, faith, and growth within the Christian lifestyle.

Notable Quote:

• Emmy (00:00): "This is a special episode where we dive into profound topics that touch our hearts and faith lives."

2. Foundations of Friendship and Mutual Support

Emmy and Amoyea discuss the depth of their friendship, highlighting how their bond has been a source of strength and mutual sharpening over the years.

Notable Quotes:

• Amoyea (02:00): "We prayed each other into our lives, literally."
• Emmy (05:01): "You are truly my iron. Iron sharpens iron."

3. Exploring Modesty: Personal Journeys

A significant portion of the conversation centers around modesty. Emmy shares her past struggles with dressing immodestly and how Amoyea gently guided her towards a more modest lifestyle that glorifies God.

Notable Quotes:

• Emmy (08:40): "Amoyea reminded me that modesty isn't about restriction but reflecting God's love."
• Amoyea (09:59): "Transparency in our testimony can bring more souls into Christ."

4. Mental Health Matters: DPDR and Anxiety

Both hosts open up about their battles with Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder (DPDR) and anxiety. They discuss how these mental health challenges intersect with their faith and how God’s presence has been pivotal in their healing journeys.

Notable Quotes:

• Amoyea (34:54): "DPDR is a frightening experience where reality feels distorted, but faith provides grounding."
• Emmy (36:35): "Smoking weed contributed significantly to my DPDR, leading to a year of daily struggles."

5. Father Figures and Spiritual Identity

The absence or loss of a father figure profoundly impacts both Emmy and Amoyea. They delve into how this void affected their perception of God as a father and their personal relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• Amoyea (48:22): "Losing my father made it hard to accept God as a loving father figure initially."
• Emmy (51:20): "Seeing God as a father helped me forgive my earthly father and heal my spirit."

6. Premature Ministering: Lessons Learned

Amoyea recounts her early days of sharing her faith prematurely, leading to burnout and loss of friends. Both discuss the importance of patience and maturity in ministering effectively.

Notable Quotes:

• Amoyea (24:51): "Giving my life to Christ made me eager to share the gospel, but God reminded me to grow first."
• Emmy (25:55): "Stepping into ministry too soon led to accelerated fire that tested and strengthened us."

7. Childlike Faith vs. Maturity

A thoughtful debate arises on the concept of childlike faith. While children exhibit trust and innocence, the hosts caution against immature behaviors masquerading as childlike faith, emphasizing biblical understanding and heart posture.

Notable Quotes:

• Emmy (56:58): "Childlike faith is about trust and submission, not acting immaturely."
• Amoyea (60:08): "Childlike faith involves curiosity and genuine trust in God, not toddler-like dependency."

8. The Impact of COVID and Transition to Adulthood

The pandemic exacerbated their mental health challenges and coincided with their transition into adulthood, a critical period that shaped their faith and personal growth.

Notable Quotes:

• Emmy (43:23): "COVID changed my extroverted nature to a more introverted one, adding to my struggles."
• Amoyea (45:06): "Transitioning from teens to twenties was pivotal, setting the tone for lifelong battles and growth."

9. Health Choices and Spiritual Discipline

Emmy shares her commitment to a gluten-free and dairy-free diet in preparation for her upcoming marriage, linking physical health discipline with spiritual well-being.

Notable Quotes:

• Emmy (61:28): "Cutting out gluten and dairy has made me feel healthier and more vibrant for my wedding."
• Amoyea (61:46): "Being disciplined in health reflects our dedication and perseverance in faith."

10. Event Planning and Fellowship

The episode recounts the planning of Emmy’s bachelorette party, emphasizing how fellowship and shared spiritual activities strengthen their bond and faith.

Notable Quotes:

• Emmy (67:08): "Planning our bridal squad was a beautiful blend of fun and spiritual intimacy."
• Amoyea (69:15): "The worship session felt like an intimate experience with God, reinforcing our spiritual connection."

11. Closing Prayers and Blessings

Emmy and Amoyea conclude the episode with heartfelt prayers, blessing their listeners and seeking divine guidance for those facing similar struggles.

Notable Quotes:

• Amoyea (71:01): "Heavenly Father, thank you for using our platform to minister to millions."
• Emmy (73:13): "We bless everyone listening, trusting that God has something special for each of you."

Key Takeaways:

• Friendship as Spiritual Support: Emmy and Amoyea exemplify how deep, prayerful friendships can provide mutual support and spiritual sharpening.
• Modesty and Personal Growth: Embracing modesty transcends outward appearance, reflecting inner transformation and God’s love.
• Mental Health and Faith Integration: Struggles with DPDR and anxiety are real challenges that can be navigated with faith, community, and God’s healing.
• Navigating Fatherhood in Faith: Understanding God as a father figure helps heal wounds from absent or lost earthly fathers, fostering a deeper spiritual identity.
• Patience in Ministering: Effective ministry requires maturity and readiness, avoiding the pitfalls of premature evangelism.
• Balanced Childlike Faith: Childlike faith is about trust and openness, not immaturity; it requires a mature understanding of biblical principles.
• Health and Spiritual Discipline: Physical health practices can complement spiritual well-being, preparing individuals for life’s commitments.
• Impact of Life Transitions: Major life events, like the COVID pandemic and transitioning into adulthood, significantly influence personal faith journeys.
• Power of Prayer and Blessings: Concluding with prayers reinforces the episode’s themes of community, support, and divine intervention.

Final Thoughts:

This episode of Saved Not Soft delves deeply into the intertwined relationships between personal struggles, mental health, faith, and the importance of supportive friendships. Emmy and Amoyea’s candid conversations offer listeners relatable insights and encouragement to navigate their own journeys with God’s grace and the support of a faith-filled community.

Total Duration of Relevant Content: Approximately 76 minutes.

Transcript

[A]

Hello. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Saved Not Soft. What's going on, everybody? Y'all, I'm so excited. I say that every episode, but it is because I'm really excited, and today is going to be such a special episode. First, before I get into who's sitting here to the very right of me, if you don't know who I am, my name is Emmy Moore. I'm the host of Save Not Soft podcast. And this podcast is to let you know you're heard, seen in love through Christ. Okay? Yada, yada, yada, yada. That is basically the pivotal message of this entire podcast. And Jesus at the core gets all the glory.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

Today. I have a very special guest here with me today, and I feel like this is kind of a cycle of guests I've been having on my paws. We had Clarissa three to four episodes ago, and I brought on my other bestie, Ms. Amoye Hussara. Hey, girl, what's up?

[B]

This is a pleasure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is beautiful.

[A]

And it's something we've been talking about.

[B]

For years, for a long.

[A]

For a very long time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe possibly since the first time we met.

[B]

Yeah. Like even seeing you do this podcast and everything like this was this been in the works. It's been talked about. So to be on here is literally. This is Glory. This is a pleasure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm so appreciative. No, thank God.

[A]

We thank God. So Amoya is from New York, and she's down right now because I just had my Bachelorette freaking spectacular. The past. It was.

[B]

It's going down history. That's all I gotta say.

[A]

Right?

[B]

It was the best thing ever.

[A]

No. And so. So she's been staying here with me. All the girls went back home, but she stayed here for extra few days. And so we were like, you know, definitely got to get a podcast in. And so we're here. And it's so great because this is the fourth time we've been in person.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Which is crazy that it's been that low.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because we've talked every single day for the past four to five years.

[B]

Yes. So it doesn't even feel like long distance best friends.

[A]

Yes. Like Cali all the way.

[B]

New York.

[A]

New York.

[B]

Brooklyn, to be exact. Born and raised. Born and raised.

[A]

And I'm Cali. In the middle of the country.

[B]

Culture shock. Complete culture shock. I came here, I was like, Emmy, where you got me.

[A]

Right? Or even you would look at my location, be like, do you live in the middle of nowhere?

[B]

Literally, like on Apple Just looks like she's in the middle of absolute nowhere. And I'm used to the tall buildings, the corner store on every single block here. It's like you got to drive to get anywhere.

[A]

Yeah. But everything's pretty close where I'm at. Versus if I was in, like, LA, it takes you 30 minutes just to get to a grocery store because of all the traffic. So it is like completely different cultures. But we always say that kind of. We're getting Yang.

[B]

Yeah, literally, this is my twin. This is my other half, real life. Literally. We thank God for this friendship.

[A]

Yeah, no, we really thank God. And I think something when we always talk about each other in our friendship is we prayed each other into our lives, literally.

[B]

I remember guys like this. This woman right here. She's a walking prayer point into my life. I was in a really, really dark place. That was. When were you. Is that 2021?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, 2021. And I just kind of accepted Christ into my life. I was pretty lonely. I didn't have. I had friends, but I felt like I didn't have people in my life who truly understood the battles that I was experiencing in Christ. And I remember I just cried out to God one night, and I was saying to him, I was just like, lord, like, I need to know that I'm not crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I need to know what I'm experiencing, which was the DPDR and just severe anxiety and just a bunch of mind torment. And I was like, God, I need to know that I am not crazy. So I just felt very, very alone. That's what the enemy tries to do to you. Always tries to make you feel like you're the only person that's going through what you're battling. And I can say probably like a week or two weeks later, I'm at me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Introduced by one of our friend. Yeah, a friend. Yeah, just a friend.

[A]

But it's. It's wild, though, because that was my same prayer point as there was a lot of things that I was going through where I was like, I feel absolutely insane. And I don't know who to talk to about this because I don't want to. I don't know. I think people are going to think I'm crazy if I were to ever say anything like this. And so I kept it to myself, but I would pray out to God in my secret space and also in my heart. Lord, just send me someone who would understand. And so we came into each other's lives at the most pivotal point. And I will never forget when we had that conversation of, hey, this is me. And you're like, this is me. And I'm like, oh, we actually struggle with the same exact thing. Even weird stuff, like down to the core of. There's even some things where I'm just feeling a certain way and I start to explain myself. And you'll finish my sentence. I'm like, oh, you just get it.

[B]

You just get it. Just complete the sentence.

[A]

Yeah, you just get it. And I don't have to over explain myself or make you understand. You just get it. Which is something I've never had with any of my friendships, is there's just a part of me you get that nobody else just gets.

[B]

Yeah, we understand. Like, everybody, like all of our friends are in our life for a specific reason and for a specific purpose. But I feel like you're one of those friends that has. Have been in my life, like, so that I do not feel alone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, your presence lets me know, like I said, is that, like, I'm not going crazy and that I'm not alone. In what? In the things that I've been dealing with.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we thank God. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I think also that remembrance and knowing that you're not alone and having a physical friend show you, hey, I understand and I empathize with you and I'm here with you, gives a bigger testament of God. Because if a human could understand me, how much more could God understand me? And so I believe our friendship has always just reminded me of, like, wow, there is somebody else with a similar story, if not maybe the same exact story as me. But simultaneously there's a God who understands and deals with these types of situations. And going on this road not alone is so refreshing because we could sharpen each other and support one another in ways that maybe not other people could.

[B]

You are truly my iron. Yeah, like I always say, like, iron truly sharpens iron. But in order for you to have a friend who is iron, you need to be iron yourself. And I feel like even before I met you, I went through a season. Like I said, I was completely lonely. I went through this season of having absolutely no friends. Like, God stripped me. All my worldly friends were completely gone. I had no worldly friends. And then I came into Christ and I felt like I was building friendships. But like I said, I didn't have anyone who understood me. But in that time, God was pruning me. So, like, there was things about me that God was, like, taking out of me, which was like, bad character, nasty attitude, not being patient all These things. And God was creating me, making me that iron to be your iron. Yeah, that makes sense.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. You were my iron that was actually plugged in, because I believe there's some.

[B]

People actually plugged in.

[A]

Because I think there are some people who I thought was an iron to my life, but they had no heat to them, so they couldn't actually iron me out and keep me from making creases again. And so you were actually an iron in my life that was plugged into an outlet, and that outlet was the Lord. The Lord. And I didn't even think about this till right now. I remember the first time you actually straightened me out.

[B]

Wait, wait, when? So, wait, when?

[A]

No, no one knows this. Like, I haven't told anybody this. So there was something I was struggling with in the beginning of my walk that a lot of people would criticize me on, and I was never receptive to it. You look confused, but I'm going to tell you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was never receptive to it because the heart behind of what these people were saying was to wound me. But you came to me so gently.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And the topic was modesty.

[B]

I remember that conversation.

[A]

When I first met Amoya, I was still posting Instagram photos and TikTok, not wearing the nicest clothes.

[B]

It's okay. It's all good.

[A]

We've all been there. We all been there. I've been there.

[B]

I've been there.

[A]

We've all been there. And I had a lot of people in my comment sections because I was just coming to Christ.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was brand new. And I'm still learning all these things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there's grace to learn. And this is before my podcast starts, like, way before. And there's a grace to, you know, learn these things and to go down that road and et cetera. And I remember every time someone would comment to me about, like, modesty or you need to wear this in order to be a Christian, it made me want to rebel more and not even be like, screw you, I can wear whatever I want all these things and completely be in rebellion and opposition. And so I remember we were on FaceTime one day, and you. I remember you prayed over the situation version, over the conversation. We just prayed. And he said, emmy, I'm going to bring something to you because I love you. And I say this in love. What you are wearing is not representing how much Jesus loves you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it wasn't like, hey, you're doing this and it's wrong. It's. Hey, like, this isn't mimicking. The love of God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the image.

[B]

The image.

[A]

And that made me look at it differently. And then also the relatability that you had as well. She sent me like 20 pictures.

[B]

20 pictures of me before Christ.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

My bath is through pictures because it was bugging.

[A]

Right. And you told me you were like, I'm sending this to you because I also want you to know I've been there before. And I don't want you. Want you to think I'm a hypocrite. And honestly, that's what drove me into rebellion in the first place, was because all the people who are commenting under my stuff, I go to the profile picture, and you're wearing a sports bra, or you're wearing a bathing suit, or you're wearing something also immodest. And it's like, why are you telling me, oh, you're a Christian and you wearing this and you imodous and you're.

[B]

Wearing the same thing.

[A]

And so it really irritate me. And so that relatability of, you know, I used to address. But once the Lord started to convict my heart of this isn't glorifying the kingdom, I started change the way that I dress. And you spoke to my heart because you came with such gentleness. It reminds me of Galatians 6:1 where it says, brothers and sisters, judge one another gently, restore one another gently. And I think people think, oh, I could judge and I could restore, but they don't know the characteristic that comes with that word, which is gently.

[B]

I think one of the things when it comes to gentleness is also being very transparent.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's something that I vocalize a lot in your walk with Christ, because you have a lot of people who are hypocrites. And when you find someone who can be 100 transparent with you, it makes you want to open up more. So like that gentleness is allowing yourself to be transparent in your testimony and say, like, I've been there before. I've done that before. And I can say honestly, doing that has even allowed me to, like, bring more people into Christ.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I've seen people who walk away and they. They astray or they're too. They feel like they're not ready yet because of that. Because of people not being gentle, people not being transparent. But the more you're transparent, more souls you can bring into Christ.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it limits you and repels shame. Because Psalms 34.5 says that those who look to the Lord, their faces are radiant and they're never filled with shame. Because your face is quite literally fully litten up. And so what happened in that moment is that when you came to sharpen me, you just shifted my perspective in my direction to where I was no longer covered by shadows, but I was looking in the all shining grace and glory of God. And when you see things in a God perspective and you have people who lead you that position, your heart is then able to be developed and transformed. So I was like, oh, this is the first time where it actually convicted me. Yeah. Because God's love entered the chat. It wasn't his anger or his wrath, it was his love. Love.

[B]

Yeah. And I even had like, like you mentioned. I. I love that you mentioned that I prayed. I even kind of forgot that I prayed on the phone because I even. I even prayed before I told you. So like throughout that whole week, it was a burden that God was placing on my heart. And you got to be careful, you know, how you speak to your friends or your brothers, sisters in Christ and like, you know, judge them, judge them with gentleness and with love. But yeah, I pray to God for that entire week. Like, God, how am I gonna say this to Emmy? How am I gonna say this to me? Because I know modesty is that topic when it comes to us women and being transparent with each other about how we look and representing Christ as women of God and is not an easy thing. Yeah, it had. It was not an easy thing. Especially like the transition of leaving the world and trying to find out what's okay. Because the issue is a lot of people also press their convictions onto you.

[A]

You.

[B]

A lot of people press their modest modesty convictions onto you. So just because you wear a dress down to your ankles and God told you to do that, doesn't mean that I have to do that, you know, And a lot of people, like, when it comes to modesty, you're worried about your outer appearance like the Bible says. Right. But you're not worried about the heart. And I feel like when it came to me being modest, God corrected my heart before he corrected my outer appearance.

[A]

And people will also judge you when they're dealing with the same thing. So people will call you out on modesty, or people call you out on whatever it could be. Sexual immorality.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Clubbing, socializing, whatever it may be. And they're doing the same exact thing. So I think that accountability.

[B]

Log out your eye.

[A]

Take the log out of your eye before you try to remove a speck out of somebody else's. And I think that's an important part of accountability. And you're one of the only people in my life who's actually held with that responsibility to hold me accountable. Because you're close enough to the tree to see the fruit.

[B]

I'm laughing. Remember the Future concert?

[A]

Oh, God. We could bring it up because I'm passive.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. It was the first time. One thing that I always say is, like, if it. If it hasn't been tested in your life, it's not yours. And one thing I could say is that this friendship has been tested. That was the first test of our friendship. It was our first small little argument. Like we were mad at each other. That was so rare. Like, that never happened. But I believe that was the test of our friendship. So, long story short, you want to tell you what we.

[A]

Well, my thing is that I don't even remember being that mad. I wasn't really mad. I think you were. You were more mad because you saw I was walking wrongly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was like, I don't give a dang what she's saying. I'm still gonna show up to this feature.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, wait, let me. Let me first explain the Future thing, because people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If people don't know me, they're not gonna understand, like, this conviction I have around Future and rap music. My. And stuff. And so, okay, basically, ever since I was a little girl, I've always been listening to rap music. My dad gave me, like, an ipod shuffle and had Dr. Dre, that 2001 album, all throughout it. So whenever I was, like, six, seven years old, I've always been listening to rap music. So as I'm growing older, I'm, like, listening to more and more and more. And then I hear that layup. Oh, my gosh. I think I heard that in middle school. And I was like, I love this dude. I love how he sounds. I love the beats, Zaytoven, all of it. Right. So through middle school, all the way to high school, and even college years, I was in college. But those same years, I was a huge Future fan. And even when I first came to Christ, I was a Future fan. Probably two years in me being into Christ. And so you met me the first year of me being into Christ.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this is, like, the second year when I decided, oh, man, this just. I hate that I did this because you try to warn me, and then, like, now I'm here testifying about it. So, yeah, here's my. Here's my lick back, I guess. But I decided. So stupid. I decided to go to a Future concert by myself. In Oakland. And if y'all are not from California and you do not know where Oakland is, that's probably the worst place for a girl like me to go.

[B]

And the crazy part is I didn't even know what Oakland was. The only thing I saw was future, so I didn't even know about the Oakland part.

[A]

Yeah. I drove by myself. I went by myself. It was an Oakland. Like, what's one of. Like, what's the worst city in New York?

[B]

Oh, they'll get so mad at me for saying this. Well, the Bronx.

[A]

Okay. What's like, the one, like, right under.

[B]

That, under the Bronx? I mean, there's places in Brooklyn, like, you got, like, the Ville. Crown Heights.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I would say. Because I would argue that the worst place in all of Cali is, like, Stockton area, like, up in the Bay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was. I would say that Oakland is, like, the neighbor of that. So that's where I was by myself, too. And, you know, I was pretty set on going to this concert. And I told her she was not having it, as you should, because now that I moved past it, I'm like, dang.

[B]

And I feel like one thing that I realized is that, like. Like, when you're not supposed to do something or when you're attempted to do something, God always makes a way out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And her way out was the fact that she had no one to go with.

[A]

She had.

[B]

She was posting, anyone want to come with me to this future concert?

[A]

And I went by myself. I did go by myself.

[B]

I'm like, God is literally telling this girl that she should not go because she has no one to go with. And the girl still got up and.

[A]

Went, yeah, that was crazy disobedient. Crazy disobedient. And so much happened, too. So I go to this concert. Whoop dee dee, whoop dee doo. And then.

[B]

And you had a following at this moment, too. That was the biggest thing for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. You had, like, women who started kind of looking up to you with your walk with Jesus at this point.

[A]

Yeah. And look at me acting stupid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it's. I admit it. I accept it. I was wrong. I know I was so wrong. You know, I've repented so many times after that, but let me tell you where I got clocked. So about two months later. So this was a really fast turnaround. I praying over, like, secular music, because it just starts one day, just starts rubbing me wrong. It was just one day where it just starts rubbing me wrong. And I'm like, God, I'm Gonna pray about this because, you know, I still like my. My future, my metro booming and Bryson Tiller and all this stuff. And then I was like, I don't know, Lord. And I was in San Francisco, so again, the Bay Area, and I was listening to a basement podcast with Tim Ross and Jackie Hill Perry.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

And they were talking about secular music. And so Jackie Hill Perry was talking about her struggles of listening to Beyonce while she was still a Christian. Like supporting Beyonce while she was still Christian.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

And so I was like this.

[B]

See, transparency, right?

[A]

And I was like, this resonates with me because that's how I feel about future. But here's the thing. I think future way worse than Beyonce because future feels there. Future is like diabolical. Very toxic, and so very toxic. And I was just like, okay, like I'm resonating with her. And she was. She was sharing her testimony and she just kind of gave. Gave a challenge to everybody. She was like, if you listen to secular music, if you listen to artists that are not godly, I would just encourage you to take a secular music fast for about 30 days. And she said, I bet you'll never listen to secular music ever again. And so that kind of caught my attention. I was like, okay, maybe. And then Tim Ross says this right after Jackie Hill Perry says that. He says, yeah, I totally agree with that. He's like, you know, if you listen to secular artists, take it fast for 30 days, I bet you won't listen to again. He's like, I don't even care if the artist is Future.

[B]

Who?

[A]

Oh, I was. I remember exactly where I was when he said that. And I was like, oh, that was Jesus talking to me. Like, that was God telling me, like, hey, I had to say the name. I had to send you these people, and now you got to change your life around. And so this is about like two and a half, possibly three years ago. And from that day, I have not listened to a single Future song since Glory.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And on top of that, I did the 30 day secular music fast. And I haven't listened to secular music since then. Wow. Which also let me say there's a difference between secular music and profane music, because profane is exactly what Future was.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

About to do this to the girl. That's. That's all him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But secular music could be anything that.

[B]

Just basically doesn't glorify God or speaks about God. Happy Birthday is a secular song.

[A]

That's very happy birthday to you.

[B]

Yeah, that's secular.

[A]

So there is A difference. I mean, I've listened to, like, happy, joyful songs, but I've never listened to a song that has openly been debaucherous since then. And so, yeah, just mini testimony. But we don't listen to him no more. But sometimes when I think about it, I'll pray for future instead. If I get tempted, I'll pray for him. Him. I know that sounds really interesting, but I'll literally pray for that. Yeah. Because I'm like, I used to love him so much when I was in the world, and I think as a Christian, I should love him more. Yeah.

[B]

Now, you know, if he gives his life to Christ.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The praise was being sent by Emmy.

[A]

Yeah. No, because if I were to get sent it, I was like, oh, let me just, like, pray for him right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I would. Hopefully they register one day.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's my hope.

[B]

If he gives his life to Christ. There's a lot of celebrities who need to give their lives to Christ, but.

[A]

But you kind of, like, see that too. Now there is this, like, chain reaction of some celebrities, like, come coming forward and proclaiming Christ.

[B]

People with platforms, we see it a lot. I think it's really people realizing that is this emptiness that's inside of them. Like, you've. You got the money, you've got the following, you've got the attention, you got the fancy clothes, you. You got everything that you want, but there's still an emptiness that's inside of you. And that emptiness is the fact that you do not have Christ. You know, one of the worst things that you can realize in your life is when you become successful, but you're not fulfilled. And I see a lot of people. That's why you see billionaires and millionaires committing suicide. You can have all the money in the world, you're successful, but there's no fulfillment inside of you. Can you imagine reaching that place in your life where you have everything, but you still feel empty?

[A]

Yeah. Jesus fills every single ounce of emptiness in your heart, and he's satisfying. I think that's one thing I always admire Jesus of is, yes, you're fulfilling, but you're also simultaneously satisfying. And you stick with me. You don't leave, and you don't just check in and out. Like, you stay with me and you fulfill me in every single need. And. And I think people could chase all the platforms and all the fame and all the money and all the Instagram followers and all the opportunities, but without that foundation of just building something off of sand, and you're always Going to sink to the bottom. But the gorgeous part of that is, is that sometimes God will let you hit rock bottom. So you figure out that he's the rock.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And so that sand could be grace for a little bit, because God will let you. Okay.

[B]

Built that house on that sand down to the bottom.

[A]

Yep. One quote that I heard that changed kind of my perception of the beauty of the bottom, I guess, is a man who stays on the floor can never fall from that position. So if I'm on the ground, if I'm already. If my face is on the ground, if my hands is on the ground, if everything is already at the altar, laid flat, nothing can fall from there. Nothing. It's already at the bottom.

[B]

Hit the bottom.

[A]

It's already at the bottom. And so I think that's where a lot of. Of things catastrophic happens in the faith is people are jumping from these really big platforms and they're failing to just get at the feet.

[B]

Yeah. It's also because they actually don't know Christ.

[A]

Facts.

[B]

They don't know Christ. Some people have been starting a lot of platforms prematurely. That's. That's another thing as well, too. Like, some people, they experience Christ, they've had, like, a supernatural experience, but they don't really know who Jesus is. They haven't went through their pruning season with Christ and they start these platforms, and now they start experiencing spiritual warfare, and they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they walk away from the faith.

[A]

Yeah. I think there's like, two sides to that, because there's a part of that because people will get excited and then position themselves as ministers. But simultaneously, I think it's good when, like, certain celebrities or influencers come to Christ and they're like, hey, like, this is my life, because God is getting all the glory. Amen. But I think when that excitement then transfers into, like, a ministering, it's like, people are going to take you seriously now. So now you're held to a higher standard according to James 3. Right. Because you're taking on the position as a minister or as a pastor or someone who's speaking to all the masses. So it's figuring out that balance of, okay, if I have a platform, I share that Jesus has changed my life, and I could share that. You know, I'm new to the faith and I'm really excited without that bleeding into an expectancy of me to preach.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I think that prematurity comes from people who are excited about the faith but don't know the Difference between sharing and ministering.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

I feel like that's sex.

[B]

That kind of happened to me in the beginning of my walk with Christ because I gave my life to Christ, like, in 2020, and then I was just openly sharing my testimony. A lot like on Tik Tok, I would just go live and just start telling everybody about Jesus because it's like, you know, you get that fresh fire. Like, when you just give your life to Christ. All you want to do is just share the gospel. But I would begin to share the gospel, but also at the same time, people are coming to me for prayer, all these things. So I begin to, like, like, start preaching. Like, like a minister. And the Lord told me to sit down. Like, he said, what are you doing? Like, sit down. Like, there's so much more that I have to teach you. Like, you have to go through this process by yourself. And that's when I said, like, I lost a lot of my friends. I went through that season of really just being consecrated. That's another thing, too. They don't know what a season of consecration looks like. They don't know what it's like to, like, really just be alone with God and receive from him. Find out exactly who you are, you know, because that transition, there's a lot that. That needs to be removed, needs to be added. Like, God is like, patchworking you.

[A]

Yeah. There needs to be a grace for that. And the space of grace is somewhat also up to you if you're creating a space for that. And I think that's something, you know, I've even admitted on this page, too, is that I didn't. I went into this space off of excitement. There was a call. I fasted and prayed for about, like, six months. But a lot of it was also fueled by excitement as well. I knew God has always called me to a ministry like this, into a podcast. I've known that. But because I stepped into it, maybe too soon, is that God had to put me through accelerated fire. And sometimes people don't make it out.

[B]

They don't.

[A]

They don't make it out. And by the grace of God, I did.

[B]

I like that accelerated fire is.

[A]

I went through accelerated fire. So God was like, okay, because you kind of stepped into this, this, and we can't really reverse this is all the things that I would be teaching you in the secret space in a span of, like, three years, we're gonna smush that into three months. So it's like, because of my excitement, I chose the timing of it and.

[B]

Your growth Was like, fast. Fast.

[A]

And you know that because you met me before the podcast. Like, there was things, like, I let down where I was like, oh. Like there's people who have been in the faith for, like, 10 years, and they still even haven't touched it.

[B]

It Your revelations and, like, how you know the word. Like, when I say, like, you're one of. You are like, one of the closest friends that I have that know the word.

[A]

Hallelujah.

[B]

Know the word. And to fact, the fact that. That it's only been, like, three years. Three to four years. Like, people be 10 years into their faith.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They don't know the word.

[A]

People will also go to church their entire life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And not know the word of God. But I think the difference for me when it comes to the word of God is that. I don't know, it is weird because, like, whenever I was in high school, like, I wasn't a super good student.

[B]

You know, like, how was your grades?

[A]

No, my grades were, like, all right. But I wasn't good of a student to where, like, testing was my jam. And I would go home and do all these flashcards. Like, I did. I did really good in school based off of what I already knew. I never studied. I hate studying. I was like. Like, I hate this. I was like, I feel like I should just know it. It was just like, I felt like it was a lot of wasted time. But something about the word of God excites me to study it and excites me to say, your love for him.

[B]

You want to know him more.

[A]

Right. I've also been blessed with a really good memory. Like, I remember stuff all the way down to where I was, like, probably two or three years old. Wow. I know that sounds insane.

[B]

That's my biggest insecurity. Yeah. That's why, like, I. I always say to you, Carrie Graces, as my best friend, that I know that. That some. Some of those things I don't carry.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I pray for those things.

[A]

Literally same. Because you can pray, like, a million times better than me. And sometimes it's funny because I'll be at church and people are like, wow, Emmy, you pray so well. I'm like, bro, you do not know my bestie, yo. Because that girl could pray for hours.

[B]

We thank God, God, we give God all the glory. No, but when it comes to you, like, you said, the memory. And it's so funny how you speak about the accelerated fire, because that was. Was my, like, in terms of, like, starting the podcast and everything. I told you, like, that Is literally my biggest insecurity was like, my. Me feeling like I didn't. I did not know enough. I did not know enough to start or did not know enough to share the gospel. And that is a lie from the enemy. That is truly a life of the enemy. Feeling like you don't know enough.

[A]

Can you actually share more about that? Because. Well, just to give context, Moya started a podcast on her own. Well, by the time this post, like a few months ago, and that was like a huge lie for a long time, is you don't know enough, et cetera, et cetera. So my question is, how do people share the gospel and beat the lies of the enemy that they don't know enough, that they're not smart enough or articulate enough to spread the good news of Jesus Christ?

[B]

I feel like, for me, one thing that God said to me was that your testimony is all you need. And one thing that God also said to me is that your testimony is actually your biggest sermon. Sermon is the most powerful sermon because it's a personal revelation of how you know Jesus Christ and not. Not everybody can relate to that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So for me, like, yeah, when it came to. Well, my podcast is called Giving Grace. So when it came to that, I was like, being disobedient to the max. Like, I felt the burden for the whole year was not starting the thing because I felt like I did not know enough or I felt like I. It's hard for me to memorize scripture even to this day. Like, that is still something I always. I'm transparent with you about. That is something that I. I just can't stand. But God is working with me. God is giving me grace on that. Not being able to memorize Scripture. But the love that I have for God, he told me is enough. It is enough. And just understanding that it is the Lord that will put that utterance inside of me. A lot of the time the fear comes from the fact that I think that I can do it by myself.

[A]

There it is.

[B]

Then I sit down and I start speaking. And it's not me, it's the Holy Spirit that is moving through me. And the Bible says that he, the Spirit will give you that utterance.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I had to understand that the. Is not by my. My strength alone. It's not by my works alone, but it's by him and it's by his strength.

[A]

It reminds me of Abraham where he's like, God, sorry, not Abraham, Moses, where he's like.

[B]

When he had the stutter.

[A]

Yeah. He's like, God, can you bring. Like, can you have Aaron do it? Like, I don't want to do it. And God's like, I've given you that tongue in the mouth. Like, I've given you your speech. I've given you your mouth. I've given you that tongue, that voice that's inside of you. He's like, bro, I've given you this voice, so it's not even yours in the first place.

[B]

Yeah, same thing with Gideon, right? Yeah, the same exact thing. Is just like, I'm a nobody. Like, I come from the weakest clan. Like, who am I? The weakest tribe, the weakest.

[A]

And I'm the last one and the youngest. Who's gonna want me?

[B]

Who's gonna. And that's how I looked at myself. I'm like, God, I barely know enough. Like, you know, I'm around a couple of friends who are in ministries, and they are. They know their Bible. They know scripture. And for me, I'm like, somebody can ask me a scripture. I'm like, but it's like, I love you, Jesus. Like, I know that this is what I'm called to. But, yeah, it's just like I said, it's not by my strength alone. It's not by the words that come out of my mouth, but it's about the spirit that's inside of me.

[A]

Like, you're unqualifying yourself. Can I actually tell you something to encourage you? I just felt this on my spirit. You want to know what that reminds me of? Reminds me of David. Because here's the thing. When Samuel came to anoint David, David was out in the flocks with the sheep. He was out in the fields.

[B]

He was working.

[A]

He wasn't even being considered. Right. But here you have all the sons of Jesse who are highly qualified. Yeah. They have the height, they have the age. They have the strength and abilities. They had everything. And Samuel's like, not you. Well, actually, he looks at the first son, and he's like, this guy's perfect. And God's like, it's not him, though. So they had all the qualifications that you're speaking of. Like, you know what they would make great Be a great podcast or a great minister or a great person to spread the word of God. But God was like, I want that young boy out in the field. And you want to know what David had that all those other brothers did? Not a heart for God.

[B]

For God.

[A]

And so I believe what I just heard come out of your mouth is that, hey, I may not have all the qualifications that My siblings may have. But I have a heart for God.

[B]

That's kind of touching me. Okay, that's good.

[A]

Yeah. No, as you were speaking, I was like, wow, you don't even know.

[B]

Like, in my quiet place, like, I would let my secret place, I would cry out to God, right? Like, I would be wrestling with him. Like, in a sense, like, it'll have my days where I'm just like, God, why are you calling me to this thing? Like, what is this? Like, why don't you call somebody else? Like, I don't want this, right? Because I feel like I'm. I'm not there. Like Moses, right? And one thing that I see when it comes to Moses and his stutter is, like, there's a compassion that God has. There's a love that he has for us. Like, he. He knows what you're coming with, right? He knows that. Okay. Like Moses, I know you have this stutter. I know you. Your memory is not the best. Like, he's not asking us to come ready. He's telling us, listen, if you are willing, all I need is willingness. And I can work with that. Right? And that's what it was when it came to me was just like, God, like, I'm willing. I want to do the work. I want to serve you. And he said, okay, like, that's all you need.

[A]

Yeah. Even when it comes to. When it comes to, like, the law and keeping the commandments and all these things, I feel like there's so many qualifications and all these things of this is how you get perfection. But the more you understand the law and God and all these things, I think people are like, oh, this, like, drives me away because I'll never, you know, measure up. And I'm just gonna, you know, put it all down or I'm gonna turn super rel and go forth all these things so I can be perfect in God. But actually, those things should be like a ruler of, like, it's just showing you that you're never going to measure up.

[B]

Never.

[A]

But not in a way that should discourage you from the faith, but in a way that encourages you of. I'm actually in need of a savior. So all these things of the stutter or God, I don't have the platform or God, I don't have the following or God, I don't have all the nice cameras or the lighting or whatever it may be, or I don't have the voice or I don't have the looks, whatever it may be. It's God's. Like, you don't need any of that because you're never going to measure up. It actually has less to do with us. And it's like the rules are there and the guidelines are there so Jesus could fit all those spots, not so we could fill them. So the rules and the qualifications shouldn't be a discouragement. It should be an encouragement that everywhere where you lack God is way stronger. And I would even go as far to say that the places I'm strong at, I still lack.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because they're filled with me. So I would actually prefer lacking in everything so that God can get all the glory. Right. Because if it's all about me, it's like it's done in vain. It's like, I don't want it done over me or about me. I want it all done for Jesus and for who God is.

[B]

Like Paul says he boasts in his weaknesses because in his weaknesses, the power of Lord of God is being made manifest through him. So, like, that even allowed me to realize, like, even something like anxiety, right? Like the whole DPDR thing, it's like, okay, I have this thing that's going on with me. I hate it. I hate the severe anxiety. I hate feeling like this. But I'm gonna boast in this situation. I'm gonna boast in this thing because I know that is the Lord that is going, I need a savior. Like you said, like, I will be saved through this thing. God is the one who has given me the strength to go through this thing every single day.

[A]

Yeah. It makes you needy of his presence.

[B]

I know. People are probably like, what is dpdr?

[A]

Right. I was just gonna say that. So this is like one of the things me and you clicked on very early in our relationship.

[B]

First, it's the first thing I think.

[A]

It was the first thing of, like, oh, you actually deal with that. Because I thought I was the only one who dealt with it. And I would over explain it to other people and they're like, what the heck? So I'll share my side and then you can share your side. So I know how my DDR started. I think a lot of it was from anxiety. So what DPDR is, it's the Personalization Derealization Disorder. It's a form of an anxiety disorder. So whenever I was younger, I got anxiety with gad, which is General Anxiety Disorder, and then pid, Panic Attack Disorder. So I was filled with so much anxiety that was fueled from a lot of suicidal ideation, bullying at school, whether if it was just not physical, excuse me, psychological or Verbal abuse. That turned me to a lot of anxiety. And then over time, that turned into dbtr and dbtr. Depersonalization Derealization Disorder. The psychological effects is almost as if you're consumed by so much anxiety and fear that you do not feel real. Like, everything around you doesn't feel like a reality.

[B]

It's very scary.

[A]

And it's very scary. Like, you question yourself and your existence, and sometimes you'll look at your hands and they don't look real. And like.

[B]

Oh, you feel like you're in a video game basically.

[A]

Right, right. Like in a simulation. And, you know, I. I think sometimes you would even feel really immortal and immune at times. And I could tell you how the DBDR started in my life. It was being fully transparent after I started smoking.

[B]

Same.

[A]

And that's actually a huge part, a huge side effect of smoking weed and marijuana is dvdr. Yeah. And it causes real psychological damage because once you kind of get in that psychological high, your brain doesn't know how to chemically fully get out of that. And so now you're living in that.

[B]

It.

[A]

It has, like, this PTSD response to keep going back to it.

[B]

Yeah. That's literally how mine happened. It was so weird, though, because mine was like. When I say it was so weird. The first time I experienced DPDR was in a high.

[A]

So, like, say. Wait, same. Wait. No, actually, Cap, I'm a liar. I'm gonna shut up.

[B]

Really. Okay, okay.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. I think it was the second time I'm gonna let you talk.

[B]

Yeah, that's fine.

[A]

It's fine.

[B]

But the first time I experienced it, it was. Yeah, it was literally, it was in a high. So I was in. I first started smoking, like, in high school. It was introduced to me by a boy, actually. What's that. What's that holiday called? 420? Was it called 420?

[A]

Oh, yeah, it's 420.

[B]

Yeah. That's the first time I had an edible. And ever since then, you know, be careful about who you hang with and who you chill with, because then these people, like, the enemy will send people into your life and they will plant seeds.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

And weed was introduced to me through a guy, and I began to become basically addicted to it to the point I had a very, very, very, very embarrassing situation. It wasn't a senior in high school. I got so high. I was stressed out at that time. And the funny thing, what I was stressed out about senior year was the fact that I started missing my father. That's another situation. Yeah. That's another a topic. But, yeah, my father died when I was three years old. So, like, when I got to high school, it was so weird. I felt like. Like for the first time, I started filling the void of being fatherless, and I started searching for that love of a father and all the wrong things, whether that be men, whether that be drugs and weed. Was that one thing at the time for my senior year. And, yeah, I had that. Oh, my gosh. Like, literally, I got so high in the back of my classroom. Remember, I had a substitute teacher, and I started doing jumping jacks, and I passed out. Boom.

[A]

Wait, why was you doing jumping jacks?

[B]

Because I was so high, I kept. Kept fainting. Like, many like. Like flashes. And I got to the front of the room and I started doing jumping jacks to, like, gain my speed back. Because I'm like, okay, no, nothing's wrong with me. You know, you try to convince yourself. And I did. Jumpy Jackson. Boom. I passed out. The ambulance had to come to the school. It was a lot. It was really, really bad. So that was the first time that I experienced a DDR and me being a dummy, I continued to smoke, thinking that, okay, like, you know, it was just a little bad high. And every time I smoked, it just got worse and worse and worse. And I took a break. I stopped, actually. I told myself, I'm actually not going to do this thing anymore. And I think it was like, 2020. Yeah, 2019. I was working at Zara. I had my first job, and I caught it behind the. The register. Mind you, I'm experiencing DPDR now, and I'm not high. So it was like a panic attack. And it was a panic attack that I. I just caught out of nowhere. This guy just asked me for something behind the register, and. And I literally did not know what to say to him. Like, my tongue went numb and everything. And after that day, I was never the same. I was experiencing DPDR every day, not realizing that even me going back to that job at Zara, it was like a PT PTSD effect. Like, I kept experiencing the panic attack over and over every single day. Then I had to quit kind of.

[A]

Like ocd, because ocd. I hate when people think that OCD is, like, being cleanly. Yeah, Like, OCD is obsession compulsion disorder. So I don't think a lot of my viewers know this. I love psychology. I've been to a lot of therapy, and I've read a lot of books. And so, like, behavior. Well, science and how the brain chemistry works. Is like a huge hobby of mine. Yeah, but that kind of sounds like oc. Ocd. Like you were obsessed with. If this happens here, it's gonna happen again.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because OCD is also another form of anxiety, and it's a compulsion and obsession of if I come here, if I do the same exact thing, the same exact same. Think it's gonna happen again. But that's just a lie from the pits of hell, you know? But, yeah, I think the DBDR outside, and it's really frustrating when you're like, dang, I stopped all of this, and it's tormenting and robbing my life. Which just shows that when you open a door and you invite a party of a whole bunch of stuff in, you know, it's gonna take a lot to clean up the mess. And when I first experienced my DDR, it was a lot like that as well as I didn't experience it as much in the smoking weed phase. It was like, right after. But I was still smoking nicotine. I believed a lot of my brain.

[B]

I was smoking nicotine too.

[A]

I was smoking nicotine. Worse than weed, though. Smoking more nicotine. More than weed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And yo, the nicotine. I'm actually convinced to this day, and I. I revert. Curse the curse as much as I can, that I lost a lot of brain cells due to smoking nicotine. Don't laugh. You can't get them back.

[B]

Yeah. But I was like, I think Jesus restores.

[A]

He restored.

[B]

He restored your brain.

[A]

Yes, he did. Amen.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

Put your hand on me. Amen.

[B]

Restoration.

[A]

Amen. Amen. But, yeah, no, so I believe that. But I do believe that spoken nicotine played a lot into my brain chemistry. And then also marrying. Is that the psychological effects of. Of smoking marijuana. But I remember the first day it happened, I didn't get out of it for about a solid year.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Every single day. So I had it for about, I would say, four months, the dvdr, every single day. And had six months of panic attacks. So for six months. And there's people who were in my life when this was happening. This is like 2019, 2020, right before we met, because I had red hair. There were people in my life during this time. I had a. About three panic attacks a day. Panic attacks that made me feel like I was gonna die.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It was absolutely insane. And to where I felt like I needed to go to the hospital or whoop, whoop and all this stuff and then experience a little bit. A little bit of DBDR after that. But I Got baptized. And after I got baptized and fully surrendered unto the Lord, it was like a lot of that washed away. And of course, temptations are going to still come up here and there, because even Jesus was tempted. Yeah. So it's like those temptations will come up, but. But it's up to us if we handle it right. Because all Satan could do is leverage your flesh. And so he's going to look at the spots in your life where, oh, she struggles with this. She's been through this before. Let me leverage this and see if she's going to cave in. And so that's more so been what happens now of the temptation of me giving into my old behaviors and my old, Old psychological patterns.

[B]

I like how you mentioned the temptation part two, because a lot of people think when they come to Christ, they're not going to experience something ever again.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah. And that was that. That's the. The biggest thing for me was kind of like, I begin to go back and forth with God, like, okay, I'm. I'm. I gave my life to you. I'm living for Christ. Why am I still experiencing? Because the truth of the matter is it still happens here and there. You know, Like, I still experience. Sometimes I'll. I'll have like a mini panic attack or the enemy tries to get into my mind, wherever the case is. Right. Or I'll feel like. Like I'm experiencing, like, that DPDR thing. But like you said, it's about, like, how you handle it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And before, like, the enemy would do this thing of trying to trap me because I started really experiencing in Covid, so I would be trapped in my home. I wouldn't want to come out, and I wouldn't even want to. Want to go to church. Like, I wouldn't want to be around anyone. And I started doing the opposite. I started. I started doing what God wanted me to do. Right. So I started getting around people, getting around community, coming out of my room, coming out of my shell, and. Yeah. Just is about how you treat the situation.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I think Covid also played a lot into my psychological behavior, because after Covid, I would say, before COVID I was super extroverted. Now I'm super. I think it's an introvert. When you're both. You're both an extrovert and an introvert. I don't know if that's. I don't know if that's the right terminology, but it's where you're like, both. You kind of pick and choose.

[B]

I believe it is, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But I became completely introverted and then, then was like, wait, no, but I'm naturally extroverted. So then I was like, kind of struggling with my identity a little bit. Keep in mind, I'm like 19, 20 during this time, so it is kind of weird. And then I kind of turned into this mixture of both. But that's when a lot of like the DVDR and stuff was happening was around Covid. And obviously a lot of stuff emotionally was happening too, because I just came to Christ. I lost a lot on the way. My friends are changing, my family dynamic is crazy. I, I'm reading the Bible and then Covid is happening. I'm also coming to social media.

[B]

So there's transition.

[A]

Yeah. And I think like that age, like the transition of your teens into your 20s is a very pivotal transition. And I think it's one that kind of sets the tone of what battle and cup of suffering you're gonna have for almost the rest of your life. And even when I talk to my mom, because my mom's now in Christ, like she remembers. Amen. Amen.

[B]

We gotta, we gotta acknowledge that. No, mommy, for real.

[A]

Right? Yeah. No, but she even remarks back to times where she first started struggling with things. It was in her early 20s. Yeah. And she still struggles with those same things too, these days. Or like you could even just talk to people who are older. It's like, yeah, I started kind of transitioning into adulthood, you know, and it's because you're starting a new season of life. It's like you had 20, almost 20, 18, 20 years of being a child, and then it's one day you're expected to be an adult. And so there's a whole bunch of things that come with that.

[B]

There's a true crossover from 19 to 20. Yes, there is a true crossover. Cuz like I said, like in those stages was when I started actually what, what they call that the frontal lobe. I think, like the, the, the first part of my frontal lobe started.

[A]

I thought, well, I, I, I'm pretty sure your frontal lobe fully develops when you're 25.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

But maybe it could just start. Maybe, maybe.

[B]

I think I just started processing life different. Y'all understand what I'm saying? Is she mad smart anyways, days, like. But there was like a part of me that started realizing certain things in my life, right. Like when I, when leaving 19, going into 20, realizing there were certain voids in my life. Right. One of those voids was like I mentioned the fatherless void that's when I started searching for love and affection and so many other things rather than seeking God. Right. That was like 18, 19, going into 20 years old. And by the age of 20, that's when I fully devoted my life to Christ. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And I think that was another area where. In the beginning of our relationship and our friendship, that was another area where we really touch.

[B]

One of the biggest areas.

[A]

The biggest areas is having, like, that lack of a father figure, that affection, that attention. The only difference between our stories is that you lost your father. My father is still alive. We just don't have a relationship. But still, that void is equal in a lot of absence. Yeah. It's absence at the core. Think there's a. There's a grieving that comes with that absence. That's very hard to navigate. And I think the most difficult part about having an absence of a father figure and being neglected by a father figure is. How should I rephrase this?

[B]

We begin to project that onto God.

[A]

That. That it's. It's more. So we see it cool seeing God as a king and as authority.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But we don't know how to see him as a father. And father is the highest attribute that God is at. Even. Even when Jesus tells the disciples to pray, he's like, this is how you should pray. Our Father who arts in heaven.

[B]

They address him as Father first.

[A]

You dress him as Father first. Jesus could have instructed the disciples to say, our King, our Lord, Our Lord, our friend. El Shaddai Gyro. He could have said anything. But he said, said our Father. Yeah. And so God's highest calling is to be a father. And so I believe the biggest attack on all human beings is for sure, for fathers and men and fatherhood. Because fatherhood, I believe, is a high representation of who God is.

[B]

Yeah. The father of the house. The head of the household.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The head of. If you rank a household, the head of the household is usually the man.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is the father. And we see in a lot of households that. That men are usually attacked the most.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, we see that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But, yeah, literally growing up, like we said, the difference between me and you is that, like, we both experience absence, but in different ways. Like, my absence is the knowing that my father. My father passed away. Very, very traumatic. My father was shot. I told you. Right? Yes, I know that very well.

[A]

No, I'm not laughing.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's a pivotal part to your testimony. But I'm laughing at the fact you thought I didn't know that.

[B]

I'm like, you Remember that?

[A]

Right.

[B]

But it's cool. But anyways, yeah, like, he passed away when I was three years old. So, like, with that being. I'm so sorry.

[A]

Why are you laughing? You're so unserious.

[B]

I'm sorry. But yeah, so he passed away when I was three years old. He ended up getting shot. And growing up, you know, without my dad, it was not the easiest thing ever. My brothers, they have their fathers in their lives, unlike me. So, yeah, it was very hard when I came. When I gave my life to Christ, I didn't. I didn't really know how to accept, like you said, God as a father. I always looked at up to God as this high authority figure, like, oh, my gosh, you know, but in like the last year, in the beginning of this year was kind of those, like, God was speaking to me to receive him as a father and come to him as a daughter. So even in my language, I realized even in my prayer language, I would speak to God, like, you know, Lord, and I would say God. I never called God father. Rarely, Rarely. And I realized the more I called him father was the deeper of. Deeper into, like, I would. I would get into, like, deeper levels of intimacy with him. So like, every time I'd be like, father, father, it would break parts of me. Yeah, it would break parts of me and like, fill voids inside of me that I realized I didn't realize existed.

[A]

Yeah. And I think it's because there's. There's a part of you that doesn't know that unknown space of, like, you don't know what it's like to have a relationship with the father. And I think my. My side of the story is like, my dad was my superhero up until like, high school, and then I got completely betrayed. And so it. It was navigating this weird of like, I know what it's like for a father to be there, but I know what it's like for a father to leave. And so it messed up my mind coming to God as a father and even unconsciously rejecting God as a father sometimes because I didn't want to deal with this false reality that he could leave me. So my problem was more so abandonment and what if. Rejection and rejection, rejection. And if. What if what I bring to the table isn't enough? What if you don't like, all of me, me? And what if you were gonna leave? And. And I think it's like this just distorted fatherhood from. From one experience that I had because I know what it's like to be loved. And seen and heard. But God, what if one day you decide to just cut all of that off? Yeah. And I can't judge God to the same standard that fathers here on the earth.

[B]

That man.

[A]

That man has made or. Or performs in their character. And I think seeing God also as a father, too, has. And this may sound crazy, has also shown me how great of a dad my dad was. So I think the more I put off seeing God as a father. Yeah, Hallelujah. I think the more I put off seeing God as a father, the more resentment I grew towards my earthly father because I wasn't embracing what fatherhood should look like. And so the closer I got to seeing God as a father and seeing how beautiful it is to have that relationship with the Lord, I started to see areas in my. In my earthly father. I was like, wow, that's amazing. And that actually replicated God, and I didn't know it. And of course, there's certain circumstances or areas where you know it is what it is, and there's not much you.

[B]

Can do about it. You have to walk in a lot of forgiveness.

[A]

Right. And actually, that was a pivotal point that led me to forgiveness is going to God as a father. And then the grace of seeing the grace of fatherhood onto all these men all. All across the world and even people in my own life, whether it was my own stepdad or my earthly father or my uncles, whoever it may be. And it just kind of showed me this grace of fatherhood that heals a lot of my spirit. And it reminded me that the burden of perfection doesn't fall on man. It just falls on the Lord. And so that forgiveness came a lot. When God showed me I had an altar, perfectionism from men. And that alter perfectionism led to really high standards. It led to a lot of anxiety.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

And a lot of bitterness. So I would be bitter towards men who couldn't match up to my perception of what good was. And so I would go through all these relationships and talking stages, and I would give all these requirements. And the moment a guy. A guy would fall short on one, or I was holding these standards really high over them, they would just kind of dip out of it. And this obviously happened about, like, three years ago. And God ended up showing me that those high standards came as a result of trauma, the way I was treated from men. And so I had to crucify the altar I made of perfection. Not only that I put on other men, but mostly on myself. And once I was able to destroy that altar I was able to accept humans for what they are and meet people where they're at and be patient and loving and sharpening. And I think that's even why I'm in such a good relationship now is because that altar was, was ruined and I. And I gave it over to God and was no longer idol in my life anymore.

[B]

Yeah, I feel like for me, I experienced a lot of heartbreak for men and like my past relationships, like, I started speaking to men probably around like high school because like I said, high school was when I really begin to feel that fatherless void inside of me. And even now, as you speak and tell, you know, your story, I'm realizing a lot of the heartbreak that I experienced. God allowed it. Yeah, he allowed it because it would allow me to experience his love and to understand that those voids cannot be filled by sex. It cannot be filled by, you know, the fake affection from men, temporary love from men. Yeah. So for me was like, I would go through high school and college and just craving love and attention. And at the time it was like I wasn't even realizing that the void was coming from the fact that my physical father wasn't here. You know, I would feel validated because of men giving me compliments or just feeling like if a man doesn't love me, I'm not enough.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

That was literally my mindset. I never had anyone call me baby girl. Like, I never had my father, baby girl me, or love me as a little girl and stuff. And so it made me begin to crave those things from boyfriends and just talking stages, situations, situationships. And then, yeah, when I gave my life to Christ, that's when God began to reveal this thing to me and show me like these voids is coming from the fact that, you know, your father passed away and I begin to face that thing and by the grace of God. This is why I always say, like, God truly, like he. He truly, truly restores restoration and he will give you better. I ended up like receiving father figures in my life, whether that be my mentor, whether that be my, you know, my apostle. And they begin to love me, truly love me. I begin to see so many different father figures in my life, as well as God, as well as the true Father. Yeah. So it just, just thank God.

[A]

Yeah. Refreshing to see it in the flesh too. Of like, oh, like this is an avoid. I'm just missing and I'm never going to be able to experience because I'm an adult. Like, God still graces me because I think that's like Some worries that people have is, you know, it's too late. My childhood is gone. But it's like we're children of the faith. Like, God actually encourages us, Jesus actually does for us to have childlike faith. And so if we're called to have childlike faith, we're supposed to seek God as a father and always know that we're always going to be babies to him. We're always going to be little girls or boys to him. Right, Right. And what super side note, still on the childlike faith thing. God give me grace to say this.

[B]

Wait, what were you about to say?

[A]

Because I think people will take. This is off topic, but on topic. Okay, so when people will talk about childlike faith, I think one thing that really irritates me when people talk about, you know, where I'm going. I think you know where I'm going. When people talk about childlike faith. Faith. And they quite literally act like a toddler.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, there's an immaturity.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like there's like a. Oh, my gosh, that's my dad in the sky.

[B]

Yeah, that's my daddy. Daddy in sky. Yeah.

[A]

And it's like, that's actually a lack of reverence for God or like when.

[B]

It'S like Valentine's Day and everyone thinks that Jesus is their boyfriends. I'm. I'm sorry. I don't agree with that. Like. Or it's just. Yeah, it's just like. It's like child.

[A]

It's just like it's in. Not childlike and a biblical childlike, but it's immature.

[B]

Immature.

[A]

Yeah. And it's underdeveloped, and it's actually a lack of reverence. And I think that's an area where people are like, yeah, have childlike faith. But then these are people who. You're a grown adult and you're acting like a toddler. There's. There's a difference of having childlike faith. And because when it talks about childlike faith, it's magnifying an innocence that a child has. It's magnifying a trust that a child has. Because obviously your mother has been in a lot in your life. So whenever you were younger and your mom were to say, hey, Moy, like, don't touch the stove because it's hot. Would you touch the stove? No, no. Because you trust your mom and you know that it's hot. So it's like the same thing when it comes to us being children of God is if God's saying, hey, yummy, don't pick up the cigarette or don't pick up the drink. I'm gonna listen to him because I trust him and he's my father. So it's kind of those same attributes of how we submit under God as children, not necessarily being a freaking toddler and being like, hey, Daddy, God, give me my freaking milk, my sky milk. It's like, no, it's not like that. You know, and it's no hate to anybody who.

[B]

But you got to grow up.

[A]

Yeah. There ha. There has to be a shift theologically knowing what childlike faith is, because I think that's honestly the. The problem with people operating in this childlike immaturity, toddlerish faith is that there's a lack of biblical literacy and you don't know what the word child like actually, actually means. And so that leads into a version of the Scriptures, which makes you act like a toddler. But being childlike is actually just trusting with God, and it's a submission process.

[B]

And the heart posture as well.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Of how to receive God.

[A]

Absolutely. And not just this, oh, I'm going to act like a toddler and say all these things. You know, it's like, you know, it comes a point to where there is a maturity in the Faith. That's why First Corinthians. Is it 10, 13? It's 10. And it says, I was once a man, or when I was once a man, I put the ways of childish, like, things behind me. Oh, how's it go? It was like I was a boy, now a man, and I put childlike things behind me. It's like, in order to pursue a maturity and a righteousness, it's like there has to be a moment where you're no longer a girl, you're a woman. You know, you got to put that girl identity aside, you know, but simultaneously actually still be a child. And I think, like, how he said, that's the heart. That's like, staying in that relation with God. Yeah.

[B]

It's the heart posture that you carry to be able to receive God as the father. It's not about, like you said, like, daddy this, daddy that, like, the actions. It's more so the heart posture, like, okay, like, this is my father. I need to run to him. Yeah, right. Like, that's the mindset that we should be carrying.

[A]

Yeah. I think also childlike faith, too, is asking a lot of questions as well. I think children are very curious.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I believe, like, a lot of my childlike behaviors with God is me asking a lot of questions, being curious, and God honors that. Because I feel like God would honor me asking questions more than me not saying or asking anything at all. Because it piques an interest. And. Yeah, so there's a lot of attributes of what having childlike faith looks like. That doesn't necessarily mean a verbal or cognitive change or distinction, whatever it may be. But yeah, that was, like, super off topic, but I was like, wait, while we're on the child, like, faith topic, I would love to just air that out because I've seen some stuff on Tick Tock or Instagram where I'm like, this is embarrassing.

[B]

People, grown adults acting like they're babies for God.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To grow up.

[A]

This is kind of enough with the breast milk. Yeah.

[B]

We need to start eating solids.

[A]

Yeah, I like me good steak.

[B]

Steak.

[A]

I like some steak and chicken, medium well. You don't want to know what that remind me of today. We just got something because this junk. Bro, I know. We were so loud in church today with the gluten.

[B]

I'm. Do you want to tell me the type of diet you're on?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the. I. Okay, so I'm dairy free and gluten free right now because I'm getting married in three months. So I'm like, I gotta be snatched in look the best. And not even just, look. I have to feel the best.

[B]

You want to feel healthy because gluten and dairy, really, inflammation comes a lot.

[A]

It really bloats me and it really. It doesn't make me feel well. So ever since I've cut out gluten and dairy, I've been thriving healthwise. But today at communion, at church, guys, when I. They have gluten free communion. That's amazing.

[B]

I'm minding my business, listening to the sermon, and I just hear a lady come over to speak to Emmy, and she's like, we have gluten free. And I hear gluten free. I'm like, is she about to give her food? And I see it's a communion cup. And then I'm like, this is disrespectful.

[A]

Like, are you kidding me?

[B]

Like, you think the bread of Jesus is disrespect a gluten? Like, I like, out of all the.

[A]

Things, bro, we were cracking up so bad. I was like, no, like, you know, mine is a. Is a dietary preference, but, you know, people are celiac, so, like, they realize can't have gluten or they'll be allergic. I'm not allergic. I'm just. I'm just.

[B]

You're very dedicated. That's what One. Dedicated and determined. That's one thing.

[A]

Dedicated and determined and disciplined.

[B]

Yeah. Discipline. Discipline. That's one thing that you definitely carry that I need to rub off on.

[A]

I feel like you've been saying that all week.

[B]

Yes. Being around, I feel like, you know, when I'm here, I don't take this visit as just only a vacation, but for me to receive. You know, like, when you're around your friends, your golly friends, and you're my best friend. So it's like, okay, like, what is it that I know that I'm here for a purpose? I know it's want to celebrate, but there's also something. There's revelations that God want me to catch.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

And just being around you, like I said, like, you know, opposites attract.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Even though we have a lot that is similar, there's. There's a lot of things that I'm weak at that you're strong at. You're strong. And I mean. And that's why we're saying iron is iron. Like, iron iron. Right. And one thing is the level of discipline that you walk with. Like, it's amazing. That's something that I lack in. And I'm like, God, I gotta take this back to New York. I need this. I need this. Like, that's. That's literally been my prayer since I've been here.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I think there's a lot of aspects about you too, where I'm just like, just keep them there. Like, just keep them here. Like, don't let them just stay in New York. Like, keep them here. And I feel like every time I hang out with you or even if we're on the phone, just as simple as that is just more like, there's so much I just received from you, and it's honestly a lot of the time, super unconscious. Like, I'm not going into, like, all of our conversations, like, what can I get from Amoy? I'm like, it just naturally just begins to flow. Yeah, yeah. And there's like, an invitation that, like, you have, because God has graced you with the responsibility to, like, sharpen me and say vice versa. So it's really beautiful.

[B]

Thank God. Thank God for Christlike friends. For real.

[A]

Yeah, no, thank God. And the fact that we're on completely different opposite sides of the country and have still been able to come together, it's a blessing. We thank God and I'm blessed. That was your first flight, guys.

[B]

That's actually crazy. And, you know, something like, God provides because I have not paid for A flight yet. It's so off topic. But God has been providing because you opened the door, like, for me to honestly begin to fly. Guys, to be honest with you, it's 2025, 2024 was the first time I got on a plane, and it was because of Emmy's proposal, Right? Emmy's proposal. Like, the first time I got on a flight and it was smooth. It was beautiful. God provided for that. That. And. Yeah.

[A]

And you were by yourself, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because for a long time you said you would never fly by yourself.

[B]

I would never. And I had to. I literally made the decision in a week. Your proposal was a whole plan in itself, but I made the decision literally in a week. I'm like, no, I must be there. And even that trip in itself, I was just receiving, like, every time I'm with you, God wants me to receive something.

[A]

Yeah. Same.

[B]

It's just not a trip of just relaxing, a vacation. But it's like, what is it that I can get here?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Get out of this trip. And it's a lot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This time it's discipline. Yes.

[A]

I also think too, like, something just when we're around each other too, is that you're so comfortable. Really, like, you're just comfy, like, kind of how like the Holy Spirit is a comforter. It's like, you comfort me. Not like, oh, it's comfortable. We could stay where we're at. Just more so like a. There's a comfort and there's a nurturing that comes in our friendship. Like, we are been making this joke, like, while she was here is like, bro, like, yesterday we disassociated for, like, five hours. And it was great.

[B]

I'm like, I feel like a roommate.

[A]

That's. Like, I said, she was downstairs in the guest bedroom. I was upstairs. And we just.

[B]

A whole day. It was.

[A]

It was so nice.

[B]

And then I. She came downstairs. I'm on the couch. I'm like, oh, hey, I forgot you live here.

[A]

Yeah. Say vice versa. Yeah. But it was really nice because it's like, obviously we spent a lot of time with one another, but we know how to honor that secret space and alone time with one another and give each other time. Because sometimes, like, people come over, I'll go over place. Places, and there's like, we have to do all these things, but it's like, there's. There's such a comfort of, like, I could be in my bed, like, taking a nap, but I'm comfortable knowing that you're downstairs. Like, even just your presence, like, Fills the aroma of my house.

[B]

Even being able to wake up in this home because I've been in situations where I would be at friends houses and I don't even feel comfortable spending time with God.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like I'm whispering like, heavenly Father, I thank you for waking me up. No, I was able to wake up in your house and blasting in tongues and crying out to God was laid out. I'm just letting you know my tears. Tears are stained on this floor.

[A]

I heard you. Because my office is right next door to this gu. Because she was staying in this guest bedroom for a little bit. And my office is next door. And so I'll pray in my office. And yeah, I heard you for a bit. And then I turned up my music because I was like, God, I don't want to interrupt her secret space. I hope she don't interrupt mine. So I'm just going to blast this music as well and we're going to tune each other out. I'll just get in your presence.

[B]

Simple.

[A]

And what was crazy, Amani was downstairs doing the same thing too know they'll.

[B]

Know more about Imani soon.

[A]

Yeah. No, because I'm getting her on the pot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

One day I want to get all of like the bridal squad down and.

[B]

Just be so tough.

[A]

No, we have to.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Talking about the bridal squad, Alana give her life to Christ. Yeah.

[A]

No, that was amazing.

[B]

That this entire week was a blessing. Yeah, it was. The Lord was just moving.

[A]

No moving.

[B]

Yeah, man.

[A]

I think what was so beautiful was like at the end of the batch, this was supposed to be what we were going to do on the. The first night. Or sorry, second night. First night was so I'm really indecisive and I'm also really extra. So when it came to the bridal theme, really extra. I was like, I like the Princess Diaries theme, but I also want to go horseback riding. I love the country and Joshua Tree, but. But then I also love Pilates. So I was like, why don't we just do all of them?

[B]

Everything.

[A]

Call it like a princess week. And so that's literally what we did. But we were supposed to do a worship night the second night because we did five days. Days. It was a whole trip.

[B]

It was a lot, y'all.

[A]

And I, I planned it for about four to five months ago.

[B]

One of my friends said I was like Phoenician for every day I was at a four days summer vacation. But every day I woke up in a new. I'm like, what's on what's on the thing today? What's on the. What's on the map today?

[A]

Yeah, because I had a whole itinerary of like, I mean, for those who are watching. I'll even just pull it up while we're talking right now.

[B]

But every day there was. Was something else.

[A]

I had a full, Full on itinerary. Itinerary, excuse me, of like everything. But we were supposed to have a worship night the second night and I. Well, none of us can play instruments. I mean, the only person who really sings and is a worship leader is Amani. But I wanted her to receive and not feel led to, like. Yeah, yeah. Felt with the responsibility of like, oh, I got Leah to do all these things.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

For all those who are watching, this is literally.

[B]

You see the execution? Y'all? Do y'all see the execution?

[A]

Like, literally had a whole.

[B]

She does not.

[A]

Like four.

[B]

Yeah, we were prepared.

[A]

Yeah, so everybody was super prepared. But I'm a super type a person. Anyways, so then we asked. I asked one of my friends, Adriana, who leads that circuit writer music, to come down and lead, but she was still going to be on tour for Carry the Love and so it was going to work out. The second night, we're like, oh, dang it. What? How is that going to work? And all these things. But ended up working out the last night and her coming out to Joshua Tree because she's in la, so it's only like a two hour drive. Yeah, it ended up being amazing.

[B]

It was. I was just bawling the whole time.

[A]

We had a salvation. We had one of my best friends who came to Christ and then also just so much intimacy, which was something.

[B]

That I was lacking.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it was something I needed. Like, I needed a job. Just touched the face and the feet of God and I was like, bro, I'm good.

[B]

Yeah. No, literally that whole worship session was. It was so beautiful. Like I. I explained to you before, I felt like I was lacking a lot in my intimacy with God. And like I said, like, even in the beginning of this year, coming towards the end of last year, God was wanting me to experience him more as a father. And being in that intimate setting really allowed me to just go on in into like that quiet. Like, even though it was. You guys were around probably like five of us, right? Like. Like, no, like six. Six in total. Literally. It felt like it was just me and God there alone.

[A]

I actually think having that amount of people was perfect because that kind of just like constructs like a family. Like, it's gone. Like, here's all my girls.

[B]

Literally.

[A]

It was so sweet. And I would actually recommend, like, if y'all are watching this and you have, like, those friends, like, you don't need to encounter the presence of God or have a miraculous thing happen when you go to a service or worship night. It's like you could cultivate that space in your own home, in your bedroom. In your bedroom, in your bedroom. And sure, it could be around all your friends singing a worship song, but you could do it on your own, because the spirit quite literally resides in us, inside of us. Yeah. Yeah. Hallelujah. Yeah. No, it's good. I feel like we hit a lot of good stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the conversation did not know. Go in any direction.

[B]

We did not plan for this at all.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Literally.

[A]

And that was so good. And it. It was such a heart message. You just tell, like, the word has just truly just been embedded into our hearts.

[B]

This is a blessing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Thank you so much, girl, for being on here.

[A]

I'm like, this probably isn't going to be the last time you're on, so of course, they better get used to you.

[B]

The look. Yeah, I hear that. Right? Catch that?

[A]

No. Hallelujah. But, yeah, thank you guys for watching and just listening into this conversation. We just pray that God has GRA. Graced you and blessed you through this conversation and that our testimonies have really spoken to you. Just showing that God is good and that the glory of God is still evident. It's still here. It's never too late. And you guys already know, like, all the announcements, they're down in the description again. Round of applause for. And just coming on the pod. And she flies home to New York tomorrow morning.

[B]

I'm gonna miss it. I'm gonna miss this place.

[A]

You'll be back soon, though.

[B]

Oh, real soon. I'm trying to get her to come back to New York, right? Yeah.

[A]

We're gonna see if I get married in three months.

[B]

So. Countdown. Yeah, Countdown. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So, yeah. But we love you guys so much. Thank you guys for listening. May God receive all the glory. You want to know something I didn't think of right now? So I think we should end out and bless everyone who's watching out in prayer. Amen. And then we'll end it there.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

I'm gonna let you start me pray. Yeah. And I'll finish it. All right?

[B]

No problem. Heavenly Father, in the mighty name of Jesus, this Father, in the mighty name of Jesus. I just want to thank you, oh, God, for allowing me to be on this platform today. Oh God, Father God, I just want to thank you for save not soft. We know that this is touching millions and millions of souls. Oh God, I just want to thank you for using Emmy, using her for all these women in the world, all these men in the world. Oh God, we just want to thank you for the topics that we touched on today. Oh God. Anyone who was dealing with a fatherless void, anyone who is dealing with even just being alone, the transition of coming to Christ. Father God, I just pray that you just give them peace. Peace that surpasses their understanding. Oh God. Lord, I just pray that you let them know that they're not alone. May you even send them a friend like you sent Emmy to me. Oh God, may you send them someone to let them know that they are not crazy, that they are not alone. May they feel the comfort of the Lord, comfort of Jesus in their lives right now. In the mighty name of Jesus, Oh God, once again, I just thank you for what you have done and what you're about to do on this. This platform. May you continue to use Emmy and continue to build her up for where you are taking her. Oh God, in Jesus mighty name, I pray.

[A]

In Jesus name. Thank you, Lord, we thank you, Jesus, we lift you up high. We exalt you, we revere you. Lord, we see you as holy and worthy. God. God, I thank you for leading each and every single person to this episode. God, to hear and receive your voice. God. God, even if it was just 10 people, God, we trust that every single one of of those people who are listening to this episode, it was meant for them. It was meant to minister to their spirits. God. God, we just give you this platform. God, we give you everything that we are. And God, we just decree and declare that your word, your message penetrates the hearts and the flesh of those who want to receive you, Lord. And God, even to those who are stubborn, to those who think they are alone and can never be reached. God. God, prove them wrong and reach them, Lord, prove us wrong and reach us in places that we think we can never be reached. Father. God, I decree and declare that the glory of God is constantly magnified. God. And that we stay like a man, always on his face on the floor. God, that we never fall from that position. Jesus. God, I asked for you to assist those who are making the transition into Christ and God that you assist those navigating friendships. And God, I even decree and declare that the mantle of our friendship passes down onto those who are listening to this episode. God, that there is that there was a releasing and that. That there is anointing and that there isn't a great. That there is a grace to find a godly friendship that sharpens that person towards the glory of God. Not idolatry, not dependence on one another, but a dependence on Christ. God, God, enter in and usher in godly friendships that are being used solely for the kingdom of God and for the sharpness and for the loving and the compassionate acceleration and. And edification of your body, Lord. So we thank you, Jesus. We thank you that you're here. We thank you that you bless this conversation. We thank you that was such a great conversation, Lord. And we just decree and declare that the captives are set free through this. And it's not because of me and Amoya's word. It's because of your word. You're worthy and it's you. It's not us. It's all you, God. So we give you all the credit, and we are humbled to give you all the credit because. Because it's only you who's worthy or deserving of all of it. So we thank you that you're kind. We thank you that you're intentional. We thank you that you're a father. Yes, Jesus, you're such a good dad. You're such a good dad. Give us a good childlike faith and open our eyes to see you as a father, a good heavenly father. And remind us to stay close to your spirit, close to your will, and never be departed from us. Lord. Thank you that you don't forsake us or leave us, and you will never abandon us. Instead, you stay close. Close. You remain inside of us. And you call us to not walk weary, to not be afraid, to pursue righteousness and holiness, and that if we walk in the way of the Lord, you will make our path straight. So I thank you that you are worthy of trusting and you are worthy of being submitted to. Lord. We give you everything that we have. This is all you, Jesus. We love you. We praise you and we thank you in Jesus name. Amen.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

We bless y'all. We love you guys. And we trust that. That God has done his thing here.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

And so my last encouragement to anybody who's watching is if you heard anything from this episode that deeply resonated with you, run back to the heart of the Father with doesn't stay here. The point of this podcast is we may have said. Said something that ministers to your heart. Your job is to take that to the feet of God.

[B]

This is just a platform.

[A]

Yep. We're just tools, and we're just vessels. Like, God is ultimately going to show you exactly what you need and where you need him. So that's my last encouragement because I felt it on my spirit. But until then, guys, we love you so much. Bye, guys, and we'll see you next time. Bye.