Fraud Friday: Return of the Deacon, Jacquis Neal

Summary

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Scam Goddess – Fraud Friday: Return of the Deacon, Jacquis Neal

Podcast: Scam Goddess
Host: Laci Mosley
Guest: Jacquis Neal
Release Date: October 3, 2025

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Episode Overview

This Fraud Friday "from the vault" features host Laci Mosley (“Scam Goddess”) joined by recurring guest and comedian Jacquis Neal. The episode delivers true-con retellings of historic scams, disarmingly relatable stories about personal fraud, and the epic tale of a suave international thief famous for blending charm, quick wit, and luxury hotel heists. With comedic banter throughout and plenty of love for schemes (both past and present), Laci and Jacquis break down why the funny side of fraud is so appealing, sharing laughs, sharp commentary, and fresh perspectives on morality, class, and what really counts as a scam.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

I. Opening Banter & Church Scam Comedy

• [04:34 - 08:00]
  • Jacquis returns, humorously dubbing himself "the deacon" and riffing on the traditions of passing collection plates in church, ultimately joking about who actually benefits from tithes and offerings.
  • Laci muses about gifting the pastor non-cash items at anniversary services, questioning the motives and realities behind church money traditions.
  • Quote:
    • "You know damn well that tithing offering money is going to the pastor!"
      — Jacquis Neal, [05:22]
    • "Why does the church have to do our anniversary? Take me to Cancun..."
      — Laci Mosley, [06:12]

II. Defining What Counts as a Scam

• [08:11 – 10:20]

  • Jacquis playfully asserts that "liberalism and progressiveness is a scam," tangling taxes, personal responsibility, and class. Both recall feeling let down by political promises, connecting the frustration to the broader scam theme.

  • Laci contextualizes social benefit programs versus infrastructure spending as another locus of American distrust, and they lampoon the idea of being expected to "work harder" while billionaires avoid taxes.

  • Quote:

    • "What people don’t be realizing is once you get out of the five digit bracket and you get into that six inch bracket... taxes—I'm about to have my feelings hurt this tax season. It’s all a scam."
      — Jacquis Neal, [08:33]
    • "Every time I hit a pothole, I’m just screaming at Jeff Bezos..."
      — Laci Mosley, [12:09]

III. Listener Scam Submission: “Victor Johnson’s Bootleg Movie Enterprise”

• [16:46 – 23:38]

  • Laci and Jacquis read a listener letter about Victor’s mom, who, in the DVD-burning era, would not only duplicate movies but also manufacture glossy covers and cases to make at-home copies indistinguishable from retail purchases.

  • Jacquis jokes about how widespread bootlegging was, but marvels at the dedication to detail—questioning the cost-benefit and hypothesizing how more profit could’ve been scammed had Victor’s mom sold the wares.

  • Quote:

    • "Your mom was trying to stunt on the community... She was faking it till she made it."
      — Jacquis Neal, [20:25]
    • "We just saying your mama could have gone further. That’s all."
      — Laci Mosley, [22:07]

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IV. Historic Hoodwinks: The Life and Crimes of Juan Carlos Guzman Betancur

• [24:16 – 70:05]
  • Segment premise: Recounting an infamous international thief who started as a stowaway and elevated himself to "gentleman thief" status, orchestrating a string of luxury hotel burglaries worldwide.

A. Origin Story: The Frozen Stowaway

• In 1993, Miami airport workers discover a nearly-frozen, unconscious teenager in a DC8 cargo jet after a flight from Colombia; believed dead, he is revived and spins a sob story about being an orphaned 13-year-old named "Guillermo Rosales."

• He garners sympathy, legal representation, and adoption offers, before being outed: He’s actually 17-year-old Juan Carlos Guzman Betancur, with a living family and a history of petty theft.

• Quote:

  • "If I thaw out, maybe that would keep me alive. Just the anger, the sheer rage would keep me warm inside... If I ever thaw out, it’s over for you wolves!"
    — Laci Mosley, [25:06]
  • "How you frozen like an ice cube and you still alive? That don’t compute in my brain either."
    — Jacquis Neal, [27:14]

B. Early Scams and Path to "Gentleman Thief"

• Deportation back to Colombia follows, but fame (and a new suit, courtesy of US charities) act as a springboard for Juan’s growing criminal ambition.

• Fluent in four languages, armed with new-forged identities, Juan targets luxury hotels in Vegas, London, Beverly Hills, and more.

• Quote:

  • "He was interested in the money as much as in the luxury goods and services... if I’m getting robbed, I want to have the lingering scent of Tom Ford."
    — Laci Mosley, [42:41]
  • "Anybody who can unthaw and get your story straight—Will Smith-level charisma!"
    — Jacquis Neal, [42:56]

C. Notorious Heists & Social Engineering Genius

• Signature moves: impersonating guests with perfect forgeries, mining the hotel lobbies/bars for info, manipulating staff, and emptying safes of the ultra-wealthy. At one point, he tricks a nanny into leaving a luxury suite so he can rob $200,000 in valuables.

• He even sweet-talks surprised hotel patrons by pretending to be a staff member—compensating them with “complimentary” hotel champagne (charged to their own bill).

• Quote:

  • "He said, ‘I’m gonna send you up a bottle of champagne.’ He didn’t say, ‘I’m gonna pay for it.’"
    — Laci Mosley, [53:48]
  • "That’s just disrespectful, and I love it."
    — Laci Mosley, [54:12]

D. Capture, Escape, and Legend

• Authorities connect his worldwide scams but struggle to catch him, partly due to his suave persona and quick adaptation of new identities.

• Briefly imprisoned in the UK, Juan engineers an escape by faking a toothache and slipping away at a dentist's office.

• His addiction to the grift eventually leads to reckless behavior and repeated arrests; in 2019, he’s jailed in France for a Disneyland hotel heist—yet, as of the episode, his whereabouts remain unknown.

• Quote:

  • "If the government was smart, they'd be like, bruh, I'm tired of catching you. You tired of being caught... Come work for us."
    — Jacquis Neal, [69:16]
  • "I hope he’s doing well. Wherever you are out there, stay scheming."
    — Laci Mosley, [70:11]

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Notable Quotes & Best Moments (by Timestamp)

• [05:22] – Jacquis: “You know damn well that tithing offering money is going to the pastor!”
• [08:33] – Jacquis: “Taxes—I'm about to have my feelings hurt this tax season. It’s all a scam.”
• [12:09] – Laci: “Every time I drive over a pothole, I just be, like, screaming at Jeff Bezos...”
• [20:25] – Jacquis: “Your mom was trying to stunt on the community... She was faking it till she made it.”
• [25:06] – Laci, on the stowaway: “If I ever thaw out about, it's over for you wolves!”
• [42:41] – Laci: “If I get robbed, I want to just have the lingering scent of Tom Ford... a gentleman thief.”
• [53:48] – Laci (on Juan's “complimentary” champagne): “He said, ‘I’mma send you up a bottle.’ He didn’t say, ‘I’mma pay for it.’”
• [69:16] – Jacquis: “If the government was smart, they'd be like, bruh, I'm tired of catching you. You tired of being caught... Come work for us.”
• [70:11] – Laci: “Wherever you are out there, stay scheming. Still very proud of you. Love your work. Huge fan.”

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Important Segments & Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamps | Description | |---|---|---| | Church Money & Scam Comedy | [04:34 – 08:00] | Parody around church finances, tithes, and what counts as a “scam” in religious contexts. | | The Real Scam – Progressive Politics? | [08:11 – 10:20] | Class, fairness, and Jacquis’s comic critique of American “progress.” | | Listener Scam: DVD Bootlegging Mom | [16:46 – 23:38] | Victor Johnson’s letter about professional-level home video piracy sparks nostalgia and debate. | | Main Historical Scam: “Gentleman Thief” | [24:16 – 70:11] | Juan Guzman’s origin, rise, and notorious hotel heists worldwide; escapes, captures, and enduring legend. |

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Tone & Style

The episode brims with rapid-fire jokes, playful exasperation, and real admiration for clever scammers (especially those targeting the ultra-wealthy). Laci’s irreverent one-liners and Jacquis’s improvised riffs keep the historical deep dives light and fun, always looping back to the “stay scheming” ethos of the pod. The atmosphere is that of a no-judgment congregation—rooting for the underdog, exposing absurd social norms, and using humor as the lens for all things fraud.

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Summary Takeaway

If you love your true crime with wit and a heart for the anti-hero, this episode delivers: extolling the hidden artistry and audacity of con artists past and present, giving voice to listener hustle, and never missing a punchline. By the end, you’ll be laughing, questioning capitalism, and maybe—just maybe—keeping a closer eye on your valuables next time you hit a luxury hotel.

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Stay scheming, Scam Goddess congregation!

Transcript

[A]

Your sausage McMuffin with egg didn't change your receipt did. The sausage McMuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just $5 only at McDonald's for a limited time. Prices and participation may vary.

[B]

Don't you hate when you have something important coming up or you just need to look good, but your hair is not cooperating and you don't have a lot of time? That's why I love Batiste. They're the number one dry shampoo brand in the US and the world. And I never thought that, like, dry shampoo was for my hair texture, but when I tell you if it get oily and I put in some Batiste, there's no white residue, my hair looks full and fluffy again, and I can scam my way into not having to do my hair that day. With Batiste, you can instantly refresh your hair, and it absorbs all that oil and that grease. Okay. So your hair feels more clean and it has added volume and texture. It's great on your hair and easy on your wallet. Buy Batiste Dry Shampoo online or in store at your nearest retailer. What's poppin, Congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Welcome to. Welcome to an episode of Fraud Fridays where we release older episodes from the Scam Goddess vault. That's right. Fraud Fridays is where we bring back your favorite episodes from behind the Paywall. Enjoy this episode from behind the Paywall. And as always, stay scheming scams. Cause robbery and fraud Scams, robber and frog Scam Goddess. We are the champions, my friends. We keep on scamming to the end. Baa, baa, baa. We are the scammers, we are the robbers. No time for police.

[A]

Cause.

[B]

Yeah, you get where we're going with this. Hey, y'. All. What's up? What's Poppin Congregation? If you know, you know. We won the iHeartRadio award for best crime, which is absolutely crazy. Thank you guys so much for listening and telling your friends about robbery and also letting your kids stream it after paw patrol in the other room. We all did our part. Absolutely should not be in this category. Y' all know, we are a comedy podcast that is also doing true crime. But, you know, we legit, like, Kaleb research, and we haven't, you know, articles. We'll be having, you know, footnotes. Okay. We'll be annotating. We'd be having a bibliography. So maybe we have become legitimate. And I'm so sorry for that, but I just Want to say thank you, guys. Thank you all for listening and for coming back. You know, obviously, we recorded a lot during the pandemic. It's still the pandoroni. That's not even a word anymore. I can't even come up with fake words for the pandemic anymore. I died. Anyway, guys, that was a long intro. This is scary. Scam Goddess Podcast, if you don't know if you're new to the show, My name is Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess, and this is a show all about true crime, robbery, fraud, and those who committed and practice it. We love them. We stand most of the time. Guys, I'm very. Yes. You know, I'm just gonna keep it. Keep it to what we always do. I'm very excited. I am, truly. This is a repeat guest. We don't know if it's the third time or the second time. I think second. He thinks third.

[A]

It's the third.

[B]

Lacey, ain't nobody finished introducing you. Hello.

[A]

It's all right. Mute my. Mute me. Mute me. Mute me.

[B]

I'm sorry. This is absolutely ridiculous. Guys. You see what I have to deal with? But, guys, this is a good friend of mine. I've known him for many years. He's super talented. He's an actor. Comedian. He's a podcaster himself. He is a voice actor, which I told you, you have to be in the Illuminati to do, so, so. Oh, Ashton said. Oh, no. The people. Okay, I take it back. He's not in the Illuminati and he's a friend of the show. Guys, please. Oh, and you know what? Let me. Let me just drop some credits on y'. All. I don't know. Let's just do that, too. You've seen him on shows like Liza on demand and ABC's Bless this Mess. He host produced his own podcast with iHeartRadio, Headcom, Earwolf, and some of those podcasts include Culture Kings, which was nominated for the 2021Ambie Award for best comedy. Okay, you can check him out on the upcoming season of Physical on Apple tv. Ok. Okay. Physical on Apple tv. Getting an Apple coin. Congregation, please welcome Jaquis Neal to the show.

[A]

Ooh, I can talk now, y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

I can talk now on the congregation. The deacon is back. I'm calling myself a deacon. I don't know if anybody else calling me that, but I've been wanting to be a deacon since I saw my granddaddy doing this. So this is my chance, since I don't go to church, so I mean.

[B]

Get your white gloves out.

[A]

Get my white gloves.

[B]

Pass out. The tithing offerings will not let you count the money. No, you can wear the gloves on and you can pass the basket. You cannot pick the basket up.

[A]

I can pass it to the first person. Yes.

[B]

Down the pew, and then I'll be at the end of the pew. I do all of the receiving of baskets.

[A]

Okay, okay. I mean, but both of us gonna steal the money, though, so, like, you at least not steal. The money is for you. That's right. The money is yours. It's your church.

[B]

It's not for me. It's for the community. Like, we gotta build and fund things. Gotta get built.

[A]

Lacy, Lacy, we got he and cooling. You know, you know damn well that tithing offering money is going to the pastor.

[B]

No, not in my. Not in my church.

[A]

Okay, and your church. Your church scamming you.

[B]

Then who's going. Who going to buy these little baskets to put the money in?

[A]

Take it. The motherfuckers from Amazon Square charges a.

[B]

Percentage because we do take cards. You know, there's. There's places this money is going.

[A]

It's all accounted for. You're right. You're right. The tides go to the church and the offerings go to the pastor.

[B]

Now, don't act like there wasn't a love offering. The love offering was going to the pastor. And that one they didn't lie about, they would be like, and now we have a love offer for pastor's anniversary. I never understood why we had to celebrate pastor's relationship anniversary.

[A]

We did.

[B]

We did.

[A]

And let me tell you something, man. Pastor's business, too. It wasn't our business.

[B]

I feel like that's very. Almost like. What's the word? It feels like a little cheap of the men pastors to be like, okay, baby, you know what time it is? Time for our anniversary. Like, take me to Cancun, you know, get a baptismal in the freaking Pacific or Indian Atlantic. Like, don't. Why is the church doing our anniversary?

[A]

Because the pastors ain't got no money, you know, Although they flying the jets and driving the Benzes and they doing the service. They doing the service. I know that, but, you know, they need the congregation to pay for them. I mean, listen, where you trying to go, Lacey? Where you trying to go?

[B]

I was like, I want to go to Turks and Cake' cause I want to go to a lot of places. But here's my thing. If it is an anniversary, if that's what we're celebrating, then why does it have to Be a cash gift. Can I bring some chocolate coverage? Strawberries?

[A]

I can't spend chocolate covered strawberries, though. They melt. One person can give some chocolate strawberries. But you know, you know how you go down a gift list and it says, like, only one can give this? But then there's cash app. It's a registry.

[B]

No.

[A]

And my church is a registry because we, you know, we modern, you know, we millennials, and we got gen zers up in here. We ain't just paying with cash. We got cash app.

[B]

See, I'm talking about things that actually happen in church, Jakees. You're talking about the church that you're actually trying to make up.

[A]

I'm trying to make a church registry.

[B]

On a pastor's anniversary. I just want to know if I can give a gift instead of cash.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Can I give them cardi B's whipped shots?

[A]

I don't think you can do that. I don't think you can do that. I think it's all cash. I think it's all cash. Like I said, I haven't been to church in a minute, but there's a lot of new age churches now. I'm pretty sure there's some churches that's taking crypto and shit.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. If a church told me I could tithe in ethereum, like, we gotta fight. Like, get up, get up. Get out the pulpit right now because it's time to toss these hol holy hands. Like, are you kidding me? But Jacqueesa, we always ask, what is your relationship with scams? Have you ever been scammed? Do you love them? Do you hate them? You've been on the show before, but has anything new happened?

[A]

Or you know what?

[B]

It could be anything.

[A]

Here's the thing. Can I tell you what I think is a scam? Yes, I won't get in trouble for this, but I think liberalism and progressiveness is a damn scam. It's a scam. It's a scam. Let me tell you why it's a scam. Let me tell you why it's a scam. Cause we be fighting for shit. And like, listen, I be agreeing with the stuff too. But what people don't be realizing is when you talk about, man, we want more people to pay their fair share of taxes and all that shit that's cool for the billionaires and the millionaires leave us thousandaires alone. You know what I'm saying? You know shit. Cause what the motherfuckers don't tell you is once you get out of the five digit bracket and you get into that six inch bracket, taxes. I'm about to have my feelings hurt this tax season. We got so many rules and it's all a scam.

[B]

And that's why, you know, we did leg 2020 on this show because it was a shot in the heart with Donald Trump and it was a shot in the leg with Joe Biden and there wasn't really a win.

[A]

And the reason I say it's a scam is because to a degree I under, I do believe, I mean, personal responsibility is the thing, but like we have turned personal responsibility into like a weapon against each other. Yeah. In a way that is very fucking weird. It's very weird when this shit ain't my fault. Nothing is my fault. Like, you know what I'm saying? Nothing is our. Like we have, we elected people to be put in place to do the jobs for us. And yes, we have to do things for our fellow man. But the way we weaponize like all types of shit on both sides is so goddamn annoying. It's a scam because at the end of the day it really, truly feels like don't shit change. So I don't know. I don't know.

[B]

I'm starting to like, really understand my parents who like I be all fired up about these elections. They'd be like, baby, I know it's crazy. It's all going to be the same. I'm like, but we are making progress. Very, you know, and much faster than they used to. You know what I mean? Like black lives matter, you know, we was in the streets. We didn't have to get hosed or sicked by dogs. So that's a step up. We're still marching, but now we're marching in athletics shoes that get us further for the long miles.

[A]

We not, we not. We not marching in church shoes no more. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Those are. They don't got no grip.

[A]

That's why our parents so damn tired. They feet hurt. They ain't had no damn Yeezys or some. Some air Maxes with the cloud foam on their feet. They had wood on the bottom of their shoes.

[B]

Marching on wood.

[A]

They marching on wood for laughing at that.

[B]

But they really were. It was probably like all types of splinters and them junks.

[A]

When they got home, them dogs was on fire, man. Go look y everybody, all the black people that listen to this show, next time you with your grandparents, go look at they feet. I bet you them motherfuckers right, if.

[B]

You'Re lucky enough to have them.

[A]

If you're lucky enough to have your grandparents or your parents, go look at.

[B]

Them feet because they tired, Truly exhausted, clocked out. The last thing I want to say about that was, like, you made a good point, Chiquisa. About, like, I feel like America has pitted ourselves, like, you know, our government, so many people are pitting everyone who should be fighting together against one another. And, like, this is no new information, but it always makes me think, like, you know, when people get upset about redistribution of wealth or welfare or any social programs that help level the playing field for people who were born with less fortunate situations than others, you know, people want to get mad about that and be like, you just need to work harder and all this BS and Elon earned his money and all this other crap. But, like, nobody gets that mad about infrastructure. Like, our tax dollars go to building roads and stuff. And I never see people like, well, I pay more taxes than you, so you shouldn't even be out here on mail roads.

[A]

This is fucking crazy.

[B]

You were paying for the roads, too. And the traffic lights. Do you want people who don't make as much money as you not to use traffic lights? Yeah, you stop looking up there.

[A]

And the way the system is set.

[B]

Up, you paid for that.

[A]

And the way the system is set up, everybody in the middle fucking pays way more than people at the top.

[B]

Oh, bruh. Every time I drive over a pothole, I just be, like, screaming at Jeff Bezos. Cause it's truly not fair. Like, they coming for all my ends and more. And then Jeffrey up there just living good with his old Cuban ass. He dresses like a mannequin on South Beach. Like, if you was just walking past random stores, like, just.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What is going on?

[A]

And not even at the good stores. At the discount stores, too. At the discount stores on south beach.

[B]

If you gonna be a billionaire just out here killing everybody and stealing all the resources, at least has some drip. Like, you at least gotta be dripped down every time you walk into the. I mean, I almost want you to carry a cane. Like, I need you to be, like, ridic. I need you to dress like a. A villain.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, wear a cape. I would. Oh, let me get a billion dollars. I'm wearing. I'm having a different cane every day. Different alligator shoes. You want a monocle?

[B]

Yes, I want just ridiculous opulence. Like, and it needs to be diamond encrusted. Like, DJ Khaled showed off. Like a $3 million watch that was like, all these emerald shaped Ugly ass diamonds the other day on Twitter, and everyone was like, this shit is so ugly. This is what you do with your money?

[A]

Like, yeah, that's what he doing his money. That shit is dope. Probably. I want a Ric Flair robe. I want one. I want a motherfucking Ric Flair robe. And I want somebody following me with entrance music as I'm walking down the street. It's my greatest delight. I want to see that version of you, Lacey. I just bought myself a WWF championship belt.

[B]

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[A]

It is my great honor to want to be a wrestler.

[B]

Let's get into our first segment here. What's hot and fraud? We're gonna just completely glaze over that this is where we warn our listeners about fraud that's popping in the streets. Or more often than not, we get a letter from you guys. As always, snitch on your friends and family@scam got us pod gmail.com. just make sure your scam is retired so we don't. What. Yes. Up your bag. Amen. I need a. A fake name for this person. Normally I will just say any gender, any whatever, but they have. The scam is like very, very old and they have said that they're a cisgendered man. So. Okay, yeah, you can give them.

[A]

So we need a name. We need a name. All right, I'm gonna go. Victor.

[B]

Victor.

[A]

Do you need a last name or just first name?

[B]

Let's go. Johnson. Victor Johnson.

[A]

Okay, Victor Johnson. Victor Johnson.

[B]

So Victor Johnson says, I was listening to the movie mom scam of the week. So this was last week with Blair Psaki when we were talking about Mama Donna. If you haven't heard it, it's a pretty wild scam. And it reminded me of something that my mom used to do for us as kids that also saved money on movies they messed up when they let everybody that could afford a laptop have the quality or, excuse me, the ability to burn DVDs. Like, what did they think was gonna happen? My mom would rent the latest movies from Blockbuster on a one day release and immediately burn them. Pretty simple, right? What put my mom over the top was this little scam. She also bought high gloss paper and labels in the shape of discs and blank DVD boxes, all in bulk in parentheses. Then she would scan the DVD and the box jacket cover and print them out on the labels and paper, respectively. Once applied to the disc and jacket cover, it was like we bought the movie straight from Ben Best Buy and had shelves of the latest movies for fractions of the retail price. Nothing major, but she was skilled with it, and we always had the newest movies to enjoy as a family. Says PS As a cis. Straight black man from Texas, shout out to H town. Okay, Htown. I'm from Dallas. Shut it down.

[A]

You ain't got on that, man. What up, H Town? I'm here with y'. All. H Town, I'm here with y' all Even if Dallas ain't. I'm here with y'. All.

[B]

Listen, I just want to let you know. And then this is in all caps. We do listen. That feels. That feels scary.

[A]

See you up here shitting on this sound. And he ended that sentence with we do listen.

[B]

Right? I'm afraid. I think that was meant as a compliment, but I'm now in fear. Okay, I'm shaking quick.

[A]

Can I just say. Can I just say that this is. I mean, did he. Did he portray this as, like, a scam that was happening?

[B]

Yeah. So I guess what he's saying is that here's what.

[A]

Buck, brother, did you not grow up around other black niggas been doing this shit? I mean, look, kudos to your mama. I love that she was doing it, but homie's been doing this since the 60s.

[B]

I just feel like your mom could have taken it a step further if she already has. Like, the cases, the printing capability, she got that good gloss. Y' all got a good printer in the crib that's also colored ink. Like, are y' all sure? She did. She made out on top. Did we crunch the numbers on this? Because it seems like she's got a lot of. I feel like. Like, we could have just got one of those. Remember those thick. It would be like a soft cover, and it was like, almost like a little purse for the CDs.

[A]

Yep. And you could just slide them in.

[B]

You could have put all them CDs in a CD purse.

[A]

Uhhuh. Get you a Sharpie.

[B]

Right. But your mom was trying to. Who was your mom doing this for? Was she printing out the real DVD covers so that when her homegirls came over, she could be like, I'm rich in DVDs. It feels like your mom was trying to stunt on the community.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your mom was scamming. She was trying to stunt. She was. She was faking it until she Made it. That's what your mom was doing.

[B]

I feel like she had all of them out, you know, in a little shelf. And then people would come over. She be like, what y' all want to watch? We got that new Saving Private rhyme, y'. All. Y' all trying to watch that. Like, also, cuz she's putting the Dis Safe CD on the cd. And if you bootlegging, you can just write in Sharpie what movie it is on top of. She wanted people to think that it was from Best Buy.

[A]

I don't need Denzel's face on Remember the Titans. I can just read Remember the Titans. I ain't gotta see his face on the disc. I don't need that. I know who in it. I know Denzel didn't remember the Titans also. I mean, listen, your mama was doing all that work for her kids, which. Look, I'm glad your mama loved you, Mama. Love is great. Parents loving their kids is great. Your mama should have been selling them motherfuckers to people up and down the street, too.

[B]

She's a new. Did your mama own, like, a large coat that she could hang the CDs in, like, Bruhman and, you know, just appear at salons and barbershops and open the coat and, like, sell the DVDs?

[A]

Shit, she know, listen, when Big Mama House 2 came out, she could have made bank. She could have made bank on that movie. Everybody loved Martin, right? Everybody loved Stone and Martin.

[B]

Just in case the cops show up, it's Big Mama House. T o o Big Mama House, too, Right? Right?

[A]

Oh, no, I got Big Mama House, too. Not this is Big Mama House two. No, I just got it also. I got it also. Yeah.

[B]

I got Big Mama House also. I don't have Big Mama House number two. Okay? That's illegal.

[A]

Yo, you know what the man already said? He be listening. So we done spent the last five minutes shitting on his whole letter. I'm not shitting on your letter, brother.

[B]

I'm not shitting on it.

[A]

We ain't shitting on your letter. I love that your mama did that for y'. All. It was dope. You had a little secret that y' all was keeping for yourself. We just saying your mama could have went further. That's all we said.

[B]

I'm just trying to understand who your mama was doing this for, okay? Because, like, it's just, like, the professional quality. It's like she's returning the real DVD to Blockbuster, right? So all this professional quality shit, like, who is that for, right?

[A]

If it really wanted to be a scam. She should have did all that shit and then gave them the bootleg. Cause you know that DVD gonna run out after a while, so she got the real one. You know, after about 50 plays, that DVD gonna be scratching and skipping and shit.

[B]

Scratching.

[A]

So she should have kept the real ones for her son. That would've been a scam.

[B]

Right? Like we started at the FBI with Martin Lawrence. Now he in A. And he got shot. What happened? Oh, it skipped. It probably skipped.

[A]

It skipped. It skipped. It skipped. Ooh, Blockbuster Quality done gone down, y'.

[B]

All. Which would have been believable because they did go out of business.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. If you don't have kids, when you get kids. My brother. Or Victor, I should say. Cause, you know, however you identify. But Victor, if you don't identify as a brother, you may not identify as a brother. You know what I'm saying? But. But whenever you get kids or if you have kids, when you do some scammy shit, I just want you to think, you know, we got a thing in improv, Lacey. You know this. We call it going A to C. You know what I'm saying? Your mama went A to B. I want you to take that extra step and go to C. You know, Go to C. I'm not talking about Victor.

[B]

Mama, you gonna get. Need I remind you, the end of the email says we do listen. Sorry, Victor. I don't want to upset him.

[A]

Shout out to your mama, Victor. She's dope.

[B]

It's time for Historic Hoodwinks, my favorite part of the show. This is where we will regale Jacques with the famous Con caper group of Criminal Squad. Maybe we like them, maybe we hate them. We'll see. Today we're talking about a scam that started in the early 90s. A stowaway found frozen in the wheel well of a plane made international headlines. Well, that's a dark matter note to start on.

[A]

Oh, no. International headlines.

[B]

He was known as the kind of orphan teenager trying to escape to America for a better life. Little did anyone know, he would grow up to become one of the world's most talented criminals. Okay, so he was found frozen, but not to death is what I'm guessing, Right?

[A]

Yeah. So. So he was like this. Yeah.

[B]

So he was just really cold. He was cold because when I hear frozen, that means dead.

[A]

That means. Yeah. Or he got some missing parts. He got some fingers missing or something.

[B]

Yeah, it's. I just have never heard, like, we found her frozen. And then. Yeah, the next sentence is, she was Fine.

[A]

Like, I think that's fine. The next sentence is, she became a villain. Yeah, she became a villain. Y' all motherfuckers froze her.

[B]

Yeah, y' all froze her.

[A]

She was mad.

[B]

Yo, if I thaw out, maybe that would keep me alive. Just the anger, the sheer rage would keep me warm inside. Like, bitch, if I ever thaw out about, it's over for you wolves.

[A]

You freeze me, and I unthaw I'm turning into the goddamn Joker.

[B]

Don't let me thaw out.

[A]

Don't let me thaw out. You better make sure I stay frozen.

[B]

Yeah, that was such a weird way to write that, but also hilarious. But look, guys, it's already a positive upswing already.

[A]

And she became a criminal. A world class. Of course they. Okay, so this person became a world class criminal. They survived death.

[B]

Right? So the stowaway. One summer night in 1993, a mechanic in Miami National Airport opened the wheel well of a DC8 cargo jet as a part of a routine security check. I'm glad y' all be opening everything. I appreciate the security checks. Instead of finding it empty, the mechanic found a body wearing only a T shirt and cutoffs, curled in a ball, unconscious and frozen like an ice. Ice cube.

[A]

What? Okay.

[B]

I also feel like. I don't know if I stowed away in a plane. I feel like I probably would have wore cutoffs, too, thinking it was gonna be hot in there. But in reality, you are 35,000ft in the air and clouds and stuff. So it could. It's probably chilly. You should have wore a coat.

[A]

Yeah, and we be putting dogs and shit down there, too. Damn, that shit is wild.

[B]

Don't bring that up.

[A]

I don't know why it made me think of that right now.

[B]

It's about Fido. It felt Fido.

[A]

That freezing Fido cold, man. That's why Fido be acting different every time y' all bring them home from the trip, right?

[B]

Only put your iditarod dogs on the plane. Fluffy and them, they not built for that life. They're not built for the plane stowaway.

[A]

But yeah, it's chilly frozen like an ice cube. Wow. One of two things. Either this person is the person who wrote this has a beautiful imagination and is hyperbolic as hell, or this person is a superhero. How you frozen like an ice cube and you still alive. That don't compute in my brain either.

[B]

Yeah. Cause the ice cube is, like, solid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I feel like when humans. Like, when we get solid, like, that's pretty much it's over for Us.

[A]

That'S a new shirt. Humans, when we get solid, it's over. We're not supposed to be solid. We supposed to have some softness.

[B]

Maybe he was like an ice cube. You know when you real desperate to have ice and you have an ice. The little ice tray. Like, I remember in college, like we needed ice for drinks. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna throw some water in this ice tray and put it in the freezer. So then you checking it every like five minutes. Like, is it frozen?

[A]

Right? And it got that little layer. Get that little top layer, skinny little top.

[B]

And then in the middle is still a water. So maybe that's what kind of cube he was like, he was just superiorly.

[A]

Maybe he was just a top layer of ice. Just a top layer of ice. He wasn't frozen all the way through.

[B]

Sorry. We laughing at frozenness. If you've been frozen.

[A]

We sorry. We sorry. Also email and tell your story because.

[B]

We want to know how you hear let it go in the scam got us pod email address. Okay, let us know when you was frozen. So paramedics arrived on the scene within 15 minutes, the first paramedic declared the boy dead. Damn. So he was like, all right. He saw the frozen mist and was like, that's what we thought.

[A]

We declared. We gotta check him. He dead.

[B]

We just heard frozen. It was like, dead. Like. Yeah. The second just barely found a pulse. Okay, come on. Second paramedic. I'm glad we got a second opinion here because they was about to throw our frozen homie in the morgue.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So the plane had been carrying flowers from Bogota, Colombia. And three and a half. It's like a three and a half hour flight away, meaning that anyone stowed in the wheel well for that time survived negative 50 degree temperatures at 30,000ft for three and a half hours. So you feel different.

[A]

That man every time. The old. I've never used to be scared of flying, and I'm still not. But as I get older, every time I get scared of flying, a half percent of me realizes this is the craziest shit. It's fucking crazy. Like we are in a tube that I don't understand how it's just in the damn air and we just. We just Traveling at like 400 miles an hour across the sky. Like.

[B]

And it's also other people. It's mad. Other tubes. It's other tubes from different countries all over the place. And we're not running into each other.

[A]

Like I said, I'm not scared of flying. But every time I get up in the air, a part of me just thinks, this is, this is insane what we're doing.

[B]

Oh no. I'm scared of flying. Every time I get on a flight, I'm like, let me just surrender. Like, if I die, I die. It's not in my hands anymore. I'm like, when the drink people come around, I'm like, please, yes, I would love alcohols. Cause I'm trying. This is it for me.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You know, I might get there because it's crazy. And then also it's negative 50 degrees up there. Like, what are we doing? What are we doing is why.

[B]

And also like, shout out to Janelle James. I'm not gonna. Like, I don't wanna spoil her special. But listen, like, get into her special on Netflix, the stand ups. She's brilliant. Abbott elementary, she's been on this podcast. Ew. But I love her so much. But she talks about in her stand up special. And I'll say this because Netflix has used the sound bite as like advertisement. So it's out there. But she talks about how because of the COVID price lowering of planes that there's bus people on the plane now.

[A]

Niggas who don't know how to act on planes.

[B]

And that really got me thinking. I'm like, this whole time we had this etiquette on the plane, like we, you know, we'll wear our little mask, we'll sit down, we'll be quiet. And now I'm like, if the bus people are on the plane, like, why didn't I. They could just open the door.

[A]

The bus.

[B]

While we in the air and they.

[A]

Could just open the door.

[B]

I know that's the craziest shit. Like it'll take.

[A]

It's just we can open the door and we done. We're done.

[B]

And when we say bus people, I'm not talking about if you take public transportation every day on that.

[A]

We talking about the Greyhound.

[B]

I'm talking about the Greyhound.

[A]

Yeah, we talk about the Greyhound. We talking about the mega buses.

[B]

Ridden the Greyhound. I've ridden the megabus. I'm allowed to say this. This is not me punching down. But don't act like you ain't got on one of those buses if you got a good sense and be like, these people are peculiar.

[A]

Oh yeah, the people on the megabus. Especially when it's them penny bus. I didn't took the penny buses before.

[B]

A couple places to be cute. It used to be like a college thing or at least where I was in Pennsylvania, we would take it, you know, from Pittsburgh to Philly or Pittsburgh, it was very much like ecology. Like clean bus, wifi, double decker. Like, it seemed it was nice and fun, and then one day it just felt like the Greyhound people heard about it and it was over. It was over.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait. You mean to tell me we can get on a bigger bus? Oh, let's run that.

[B]

That's clean. That we can dirty it up like I can change my baby on the table that the college students used to use for their papers.

[A]

And it got the Wii fi. Oh, we there. Oh, we there.

[B]

Tragic. Tragic. So I do think about that. So despite the dangers the boy could have suffered, such as, like hypoxia, nitrogen gas, embolism, and decompression sickness. He was awake and talking with officials three hours later. The same day, the boy told investigators his name was Guillermo Rosales and he was 13 years old and that he was from California, or, excuse me, Cali, Colombia. I thought he said he was from California for a second because it said Cali, but he's from Cali, Columbia. He said his parents had died six months previously in a bus accident. Oh, damn. Now we was talking about buses. Now. That's why he dropped out of school. Damn. So with no one else to house or feed him, he decided his chances of stowing away on an airplane to the US Were better than staying where he was. Guillermo. Sorry. Made international headlines. Trusts were set up for him. He found a pro bono immigration lawyer and a couple from Washington offered to adopt. Adopt him.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I feel like if you're a couple for Washington offering to adopt this. Oh, he's cute little kid. I think it's funny that the couple in D.C. is like, we want to adopt him. So you'd be like a little party favor, you weirdos. We adopted the boy. From the news, everyone. We're having a salon.

[A]

We'll break out the fine china, right?

[B]

And the cheese.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And the fig jam. He's going to tell us all about the airplane.

[A]

Can I also say this story. I'm excited for this story even more because it's about to have one hell of a turn. Cuz everything so far. This motherfucker is a hero.

[B]

He's got a trust. People want to adopt him, you know. A Miami police detective, Harold Lozano, offered to house him. In the meantime, he said Guillermo was always quiet, grateful, and fitted in with well. Fitted in. Well, sounds like a scammer to me. However, toys around the house began to go missing. And once when the family was out, Guillermo was found to have $200 in jewels he stole from hotel guests.

[A]

What?

[B]

That jumped the shark.

[A]

Okay, okay. Went from toys to jewels. Boy went from stealing Legos to crystals.

[B]

Right. He took a few Legos and said, okay, well, I could probably make a pearl work. It took authorities two weeks to realize there was no Gu Rosales and that his story was far different from what he had told everyone. Oh, no.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[B]

So he said he was 13, right?

[A]

Right.

[B]

He's 17.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

Colombia officials discovered that Guillermo Rosales, a 13 year old boy, was 17 year old Juan Carlos Guzman Berenker.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

With a living aunt in Miami and very likely an alive mother in Colombia.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He was a result of an affair between a rich man with nine other children and a woman who would end up rejecting him. Between his father, who had no part in raising him, and his mother who tried to give him to another family member who subsequently wouldn't take him. Juan had only known rejection from childhood. Now here's what I'm gonna say. Juan is not giving good vibes.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

I feel like he was a kid with bad vibes and his mom gave him up because she was like, he got bad vibes.

[A]

Yeah. Also, there's a picture up here of him up on the screen right now. And I don't know when this picture was taken, but homie, look, at least about 35 in this picture right here.

[B]

Like, yeah, I think the other picture, the one where we saw where he looked younger, that was him at 17.

[A]

That was. Yeah. Cause he did see. Still look older for 13 there too. Like in that other picture that we saw.

[B]

Right. But television, like, people don't know what 13 looks like anymore. You got 30 year olds on euphoria, you know.

[A]

But this is 93, right? This is 90. This is 93.

[B]

I mean, it was even worse back then, though. Think about the movies in the 90s where literally like everybody would be in their 40s at the high school. Like, no, mom, I want to hang out.

[A]

Like, yeah, Henry Winkler was fucking Fonzie. That nigga was 50.

[B]

Right.

[A]

On happy Days. My man was a middle aged man playing high schooler on Happy Days.

[B]

As soon as Happy Days wrapped, he started selling aarp. We were like, it's fast.

[A]

He went from Happy Days to selling retirement plans on commercial to life alert.

[B]

Like, wait a minute, we're missing something here.

[A]

Oh, shit. There's also the possibility not to. To prolong this part, but there's also a possibility that. And this is me giving the criminals and the scammers the benefit of the doubt, because that's what we do. There's also the possibility that you asked him too many questions too soon after. He was a frozen ice cube. His brain was probably scrambled. He probably really thought he was 13.

[B]

He thawed out for three hours, though.

[A]

I mean, we got to get the brain a little bit more time. All right. Okay.

[B]

He was room temperature.

[A]

He was room temperature. Okay, okay, okay. Hey, listen, you the scam God. I'm learning at your feet. So.

[B]

And he had his story ready.

[A]

Okay, you right. He wasn't incoherent. Like, I think I'm 14. No, I'm 13. Like, he was ready, like. Okay, you're right. Okay.

[B]

He said he was Guillermo Rosales. He already had a name. It wasn't like, he was like, Johnny Couch Water.

[A]

Like, you know, he didn't come up with Mrs. Doubtfire. He came over to Guillermo.

[B]

He didn't do a Mrs. Doubtfire. Just survey the room and make a name up. He had Guillermo Rosales ready.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Robbery. Okay. Congregation. If you're interested in crimes that aren't just cons and fraud, then you've gotta hear the Crime Junkie podcast. I know true crime is hot, hot, hot. And there's a new documentary. Drop it every 30 seconds. On every platform. On Crime Junkie, Podcast host Ashley Flowers cover covers everything from the high profile cases you're seeing drop on the streamers to following cases you will not hear talked about anywhere else. Ashley is the queen of true crime, and y' all know I'm the goddess of true con, so you know that all these stories are about to be fire. Okay? And they hook you in the first minute. These stories are wild. I love listening to stuff that I'm not gonna see on television or even just getting the whole story with new fun details. Not fun, but new details that I may not have known before. There are hundreds of episodes of Crime Junkie already waiting for you, and new cases are covered every Monday, so listen to Crime Junkie wherever you're listening.

[A]

Explore the world's hidden wonders on the Atlas Obscura podcast. A village in India where everyone's name is a song. A boiling river in the Amazon. A spacecraft cemetery in the middle of the ocean. Every day, the Atlas Obscura podcast will blow your mind in 15 minutes. You can find it on the SiriusXM app Pandora, or wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode. Your sausage McMuffin with egg didn't change your receipt did. The sausage McMuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just $5 only at McDonald's for a limited time. Prices and participation may vary and fraud.

[B]

So additionally, growing up in a, like, growing up gay in the machismo culture of Guayabel, Colombia, and like a kind of shanty down on the outskirts of Cali. I don't know what a shanty down is, but I'm guessing it's like. Oh, okay, we have a photo. It's like a.

[A]

It's a shack.

[B]

Yeah, like some, like some kind of shacks in the forest, it looks like. Yeah, it's giving forest, but there's also like a nice looking house back there too. So.

[A]

Yeah, like, that's the crazy thing about some of, like these international places I've been to. I've been to Colombia, and I was in Carta, Colombia. And it's why, like, normally you don't get like a mansion like here in America. In many places you don't get like a mansion and then a motorhome right next door to each other. But over there you will. You'll get a mansion and then about 40 yards down the street is the poorest motherfucking house that you've ever seen in your life. And like, and it's. It's pretty wild.

[B]

How do you feel about that?

[A]

I don't either. It's very. It was very.

[B]

Is it better that it's not segregated? Because, I mean, then at least, like, you gotta get some kind of benefit for living next to the mansion, right?

[A]

Yeah, I guess so. Listen, if it was me, me, I. I want. I want us to be segregated. I'm talking as a. I'm talking as a poor person. I'm talking as a poor person, not as a rich person. As a poor person.

[B]

No, I know you're talking about as a poor person, but that's what I'm saying. I'm like, I don't know, do I want to live near the mansion?

[A]

I. I don't want to remind. I don't want to be reminded that I ain't got money.

[B]

But I mean, the mansion person has to be, you know, at least making sure the WI fi is good. Maybe we.

[A]

That's true. That's true.

[B]

Something I can get off of mansion here.

[A]

You're right. You can hear clear music when they have parties and shit. No, you're right, you're right.

[B]

He's terrible, man. I'm gonna get canceled right after I won that damn award.

[A]

I know, I'm sorry, Lacy. You the one that bought me on here.

[B]

Wow. And immediately blamed me. Victim blaming immediately. I'm so sorry. But this was your choice anyways. Continue. So this is on the outskirts of Cali. And you know, he had his own difficulties because he's a gay man. He's living in a culture that does not embrace that, and that's very difficult as well. In July 1993, Juan was deported back to Colombia, looking very different from the scruffy stowaway in a new suit and a new pair of Sony headphones. So they sent him back to Columbia, but they said, you can keep the drip. That's. I'm with that.

[A]

I like that. Yeah.

[B]

After becoming known to the world as a miracle stowaway, Juan's charm, fluency in four languages, and uncanny ability to pick wealthy targets would lead him to a long career as a gentleman thief. Come on. Gentleman. Gentleman thief.

[A]

Gentleman thief. I mean, like, he. Here's the thing.

[B]

Like, he.

[A]

He hasn't. He's an attractive dude, right? And. And like. And you can tell that he has charisma. Anybody that can unthaw and get your story straight and within three hours got Will Smith level charisma.

[B]

That's popping. And honestly, like, if I get robbed, like, I do want to just have the lingering scent of Tom Ford or Aqua Velva or something where I'm like, wow, a gentleman thing.

[A]

You get them because he. He. He talking to the. To your pheromones. To the right partner. Your pheromones. He gets you. He just. He's disarming. There's nothing worse than a disarming criminal, because those are that be stealing the most. Because you don't see it. You don't see it coming. And you feel comfortable around them, and they take advantage of that.

[B]

And you let them do it multiple times.

[A]

Exactly. Exactly. That's Guillermo.

[B]

So with Quan's forging his. Like he was forging his own fake IDs and stealing passports, nothing could stop him. In the summer of 2003, a string of burglaries hit Las Vegas. So he's back in the States. Okay. Dimito. In the usa. In particular, the head of security at Illustrious Four Seasons. The hotel, you know, had a story to tell about a man who called himself Daniel Gold. Okay, now this name is a little sloppy.

[A]

Yeah. Now that brain freezing caught up with him, right? You just looking around. Daniel Gold.

[B]

Gold.

[A]

Well, the ceiling is gold. Gold, gold, gold.

[B]

Daniel Gold. I'm Tony Money.

[A]

Tony, I'm Joseph Ringlight.

[B]

This is from your own place.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He was trying to Give the girls, like, richness. Though he was like, you know, Daniel Gold a hand. A handsome, smartly dressed young man had walked into the hotel and gone directly to the receptionist and told her he wanted his up to date room charges. Several minutes later, he returned to the front desk saying he misplaced his room key and needed a new one for proof. He offered ID with his photo, the name Daniel Gold. It was later discovered that he had an additional room where he'd photocopy and forge documents with his new key. So the man known as Mr. Gold went up to his $4,000 a night switch. Sweet. But when he entered, he heard voices of the actual Gold family's children and a nanny from an adjoining room. So basically, he was at the hotel in like a crappier room and he was copying people's passports and copying their IDs. And then he'd be like, I'd like to see my up to date room charger. So Daniel Gold was a real person and he went up to the room. I'm not. This is where I am. Confusion. You know, the real Daniel Gold hasn't checked out, so.

[A]

Right. So why you? Yeah. You had to at some point get into his room anyway to steal his shit, right?

[B]

Yeah. So when he heard the nanny and the children, he left the suite and using a phone in the hallway connected to the room, pretended to be a staff member, telling the nanny that Mr. Gold wished to see his children in the spa and they should leave immediately. So he didn't give up. When he heard the nanny and the kids in the room, he left and he went outside. He was like, hello, this is the Four Seasons. This is Clive speaking.

[A]

Turn this man into Oliver Twist.

[B]

Mr. Go would love to see his kids. During his massage, he said he gotta see him real quick. Right now, he's just like, where you calling from, man?

[A]

We in Vegas.

[B]

Yeah, I know. I work at the Four Seasons. My name is Clyde. Light switch.

[A]

Oh, oh, light switch. All right, I'll be right down. I'll be right down.

[B]

So once they Left, the faux Mr. Gold called the front desk and said his room safe wasn't working. An hour later, the actual Gold family arrived to find the safe unlocked and more than $200,000 worth of jewels, Rolex washes, and cash gone. As room after room of wealthy patrons were raided, it became clear that not only had Juan been exceptionally skilled at discovering key information and using it to take advantage of the vulnerabilities and security, he picked his victims with uncanny precision. So he could tell if you really Were about that money life.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, he could tell who was big balling and who was shot calling.

[A]

Right? Right. I love this guy.

[B]

I've never been to a hotel and was like, let me put $200,000 worth of valuables in a hotel safe. That just seems really dumb.

[A]

What you bringing that for?

[B]

Like, is your Rolex not waterproof? You better tell them to massage underneath the Rolex. You better keep that on. You better tell them to stick a finger under there.

[A]

Stick a finger under your underwear.

[B]

The Rolex stick and rub that wrist.

[A]

Oh, you trying to. No, don't massage my wrist. My wrist. All good. My wrist good. My wrist feel great.

[B]

My wrist.

[A]

I don't need no massage on my wrists.

[B]

Right. If you have enough shit that's that valuable at a hotel, like, you kind of moving weird. Like, why are you taking all that shit with you?

[A]

You don't need it.

[B]

If you're not gonna wear it on.

[A]

Your body, you don't need it. Yeah, you don't need it. You don't need it at all.

[B]

That's what I also say about designer luggage. Like, if you want to get designer luggage, you better be flying private. And if you want to have a designer, it needs to be a carry on so that you're always taking it with you on the plane.

[A]

Got you. Yep.

[B]

Because if y' all are checking Louis bags, y' all are dumb. Are you kidding me? TSA can open up your bag, break your lock for any old reason. They've done to me me several times.

[A]

And they ain't going to take care of that. They going to purposely throw that in there. Oh, Lou bag hit that hit every wall in the airplane. They going to purposely off the plane.

[B]

That kicking it, pushing it all in. They want to make sure your looks rough by the time you get back. So not smart. So the Golds were on vacation because their house was being renovated and brought all their valuables with them for fear of being robbed. Okay, so, Golds, how did y' all let smooth talking nice smelling ass swan get you to tell this much personal information?

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

When you are on vacation, you can make you some little vacation friends. I know couples get bored. Y' all got these kids, Y' all got the nanny y' all can pawn them off on. Maybe y' all thought y' all was making a little bonding situation. But don't tell people that. That's just like if you have a Facebook or even a Twitter, you don't need to tell people when you're out of town. Mostly on Facebook. Because they might know where you live. Don't tell people when you're out of town on Facebook so you can get robbed.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it's dumb. As dumb. The amount that we feel comfortable talking to strangers about personal shit is because you thinking, oh, I ain't going to see them again. Also, you trying to make yourself look better, look cooler. And meanwhile, Juan up here like, I'm about to rob, yo.

[B]

Right, Rob. Taking notes, Juan taking notes.

[A]

Juan was taking notes, baby. Juan was like, baby, I didn't survive.

[B]

He's like, hello, yeah, my name's Daniel Gold. This is my wife, Hottie McTrophy. And we're just here because our place is being renovated. You know how that goes, old pal. You know, when you're renovating, oh, we took all our valuables. Didn't want the Mexicans to steal, you know what I mean?

[A]

Not you, though. You're one of the good ones. You're at the Four Seasons.

[B]

Juan's like, yeah, yeah. Terrible Mexicans.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Why do you have that pen and paper? What are you doing over there?

[A]

Oh, I'm writing stocks. I'm writing stocks.

[B]

Oh, you're writing stocks. I love. I'm a stocks man myself, you know, I got $200,000 in the safe worth of stocks.

[A]

Like, you know, like, what are you doing? I got my trays upstairs, dummy.

[B]

Dale, you deserve to be robbed. I don't feel bad for.

[A]

For you.

[B]

I don't feel bad for you.

[A]

I don't feel bad for nobody in the story yet like that Daniels or that Juan is Rob or Guillermo, I should say. What was. What's his real name? Juan.

[B]

Juan.

[A]

Juan is his real name.

[B]

Yes. Guillermo was his plane name.

[A]

That's his plane.

[B]

Juan is his real name. Daniel Gold is his hotel name. So in 2001, there was a string of similar unresolved robberies or unsolved robberies in London where a man had stolen over $80,000 worth of jewelry, cash from several luxury hotels and spent another $10,000 with a stolen credit card and a high end clothes and chauffeur driven Bentley. So he took a credit card and was like, I'm gonna get the drip and I'm also gonna get a whip, a chauffeur. So he's keeping up the facade because, you know, somebody pulls up in a high end Bentley and they have a driver and they get out and they're like, armani Prive everything. No. Yeah. So not only did the man bag high yielding thefts like the Vegas robbery, he was interested in the Money as he was like, he was interested in the money as much as he was interested in the luxury goods and services. So he was living life well, you know what I mean? Like, he knew how to spend coin and I appreciate that. It was later discovered that during a night out, he had tipped a barman $30,000. Wait, he went out and as a tip. Tip, he gave a bar man a thirty thousand dollar Patek Philippe watch. I can't say it's Patek Philip Philippe.

[A]

No, I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, it's a really expensive.

[A]

I can barely say Rolex, but a.

[B]

Pataic, you know, I just know it's from like all the rap songs, but thirty thousand dollar watch. And he was like, hey, go keep the change. Like, what? So unflappable and and smooth was Swan's operation that during another robbery at a five star hotel in Beverly Hills, he was able to talk his way out. Even when the sweet owner came back early, he told the couple that he was a member of the staff on a routine check and that as compensation for the unwanted surprise, he would send up a complimentary bottle of champagne. So they came back to their room. Yeah, Juan all in they safe. Now, he's wearing a suit, he's wearing Gucci, he's wearing Tom Ford, but he all in they safe. He looking through the Panadol and then. Excuse me. And he's like, oh, hey, I'm just.

[A]

Making sure your stuff is warm and folded.

[B]

Yeah, we do these routine checks of the underwear drawers. And it's just because terrorism is. You would be surprised.

[A]

They be putting the anthrax in the.

[B]

Panties and also in the mini bar.

[A]

You don't want that. You don't want that.

[B]

We've had a lot of cases, we call them 873s. And y' all weren't supposed to see. You know, I'mma sit y' all like dumb per.

[A]

I'm gonna send y' all up a bottle. I'm gonna send y' all up a bottle for the inconvenience.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Go ahead. All right. You be. I love this hotel. They think of everything here.

[B]

The spoils. So he then left the room, went to the restaurant and ordered the hotel's most expensive bottle, charging it to the couple's account. When the Las Vegas detective starts.

[A]

I'mma send you up a bottle of champagne. He go down, hey, send a bottle to my room. Put it on the room. Oh, I love this rat look.

[B]

He said, I'mma send you a bottle. He didn't say, I'mma pay for it. Oh, I love this rat. Like, he could take one L. Like, I know you stole a lot of money. You couldn't take one L and just buy the bottle of champagne just to get off Scott for a use do sentence and charged them. He's so disrespectful.

[A]

Oh, that is beautiful.

[B]

He's rude. This is disrespectful, and I love it. So when the Las Vegas detectives started to hear about the similarities, they began contacting authorities around the world to gather stories and connect the dots when a string of burglaries took place at several London top hotels in November 2004. Authorities are ready for what? Juan.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So now they're like, okay, it's 2004. Remember the. The him sending a couple the champagne that he. That they paid for? That was 2001. It's 2004. It's three years later. He is still. He's hopping the globe. He's going, you know, to all the posh cities and getting the girls.

[A]

And at this point, this dude is under 30. Because if in 93, he was 17, 2003, 2004, he only late 20s at that point. Right?

[B]

I mean, listen, this is what I call taking advantage of your 20s. You're hot, young, supple skin. You get out there and you do those robberies. Yeah, you young thing, you sexy thang, you.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

So on occasion, while I'm pretend to be a guest, loitering in the lobby, drinking coffee in the lounge, or ordering drinks at the bar, while actually profiling targets, grabbing names from discarded checks and eavesdropping on reception. Using this information and sometimes a fake id, Juan could become anyone. In the final London burglary at the Dorchester on Park Lane, he stole around $50,000 worth of watches, cash, and clothes, including a $2,000 Valentino leather jacket and a Frank. And a Frank Muller watch.

[A]

Watch. Wow.

[B]

Or Mueller. I don't know this brand. Frank Mueller.

[A]

Yeah, I think I've heard of this brand.

[B]

I was reading it like Mugler, but it's not Mugler. It's Mo. It's Mueller. I think it's Mueller. Frank Mueller. So he stole a Valentina leather jacket and a Frank Mueller watch. He was on.

[A]

Damn, I love this dude.

[B]

He was out there robbing everybody.

[A]

He was robbing. He was robbing. He was robbing everybody. For the good, too, right?

[B]

He. He pretty much exclusively seems to do this at hotels. I think he found his niche. He knew how to work it. And when you think about it, hotels do have Lots of places where you can get information from people. Like, if you wanted to see someone's hotel room, once they pay at a bar, if they leave a receipt or the checkout with the signed copy and the tip or whatever, you can open that and see what their room number was and their name. Or if you're listening to reception, people are giving their personal information right then and there. There's so much. Many places at hotels where you're giving up personal information to check in, check out, buy things.

[A]

That's smart, let me tell you. And I love this movie, but they had the movie Catch me if you can with the Leonardo DiCaprio, Frank Abigail. Also kind of similar to this dude, right? Oh, you talked about it. So, yeah, kind of similar to this dude. Like, going around, like, running scams on, like, things you wouldn't think you should run. Scamming, man. He was running crazy scams. I want to see a movie about this. This dude. Because this man was. This man was doing some. Some crazy. Like, you know, at some. Like, at some point, somebody in the FBI had a beat on him and they couldn't catch him for, like, two or three years.

[B]

Oh, of course.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like. Like, it took him forever to even put it together. This is probably the same person.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And all of the thefts were the same. Also, y' all didn't have descriptions. Everybody wasn't like, he's really young and attractive. Colombian man, right?

[A]

It ain't that many Colombian men out there robbing.

[B]

Not like this. Not like this. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't think in any race, you could probably narrow it down if they were any race, because, like, who's out here just like, robbing people in suits smelling like, you know, patchouli and old wood? Like, that's what I imagine he smells like. I imagine he smells so good.

[A]

Smell like bread.

[B]

The goodness. It's very disarming when people smell good. Just like, oh, they must have something going on.

[A]

It is. It's disarming. It's disarming. Disarming criminals.

[B]

I always kick myself when I forget to put on perfume because I'm like, oh, that's one of my superpowers. Like, people being like, you smell so.

[A]

Good, you know, Damn, I need to give you cologne.

[B]

Oh, yeah. You gotta give people a sensory experience. It's good. So by December 2004, Scotland Yard detective Andy Swindells. What a last name. Had been following Juan for several years. Ah, you're lame, Andy. You're following him for several years. You look, followed him for several years. If you couldn't catch him in six months, you should have gave up, quit.

[A]

Let this man live.

[B]

Let him live.

[A]

Let this man live.

[B]

So it was for that reason he was able to immediately recognize Juan walking down the street after walking home from a bar around the corner. Dang, Andy. I hate. I hate you. Found him like this, Juan.

[A]

He was probably. He was like, you know what? I'm gonna take a night off from robbing people and just go have me a couple glasses of wine, go ahead and dance to Ignition Remix, cuz. That was out there, right?

[B]

Juan does not listen to Ari. I don't.

[A]

No, not no more. Not no more. But in 2004.

[B]

In 2004, he probably could have been like, bounce, bounce, right? Shouldn't have been, but he shouldn't have been.

[A]

Also, didn't that name. The name just popped up. It said something Soriano. Something was his name. Not even Juan.

[B]

It was Juan. Can you see that? Mug shot again. So in the meantime, while they pull it up, Juan was immediately arrested and taken to custody while police were able to track down his apartment and finally find a trove of physical evidence to his thefts and multiple aliases. During questioning, Juan was held so hard to a fake alias that despite knowing the better, detectives were almost fooled. So he. When they arrested him, he had a fake alias. He wasn't going by Juan.

[A]

Oh, that's maybe what I saw that, yeah.

[B]

He was eventually found guilty and sentenced to only three and a half years at to the Stanford Hill Prison on the Isle of Shepe. Only dang, Juan even got more sexier.

[A]

Juan is an attractive ass. Dude.

[B]

His hair. Why he got the drip on in the hair? Cause he got a little polo sweater.

[A]

Yeah, he got like, the perfect chiseled jaw with the right amount of stubble.

[B]

His glasses.

[A]

Yo, Juan. Juan. Wherever you at, bruh, you should be in Hollywood right now, man. You got a list?

[B]

Look. Ride me, daddy. Okay?

[A]

You got them a list? Looks, boy. Juan look like he gonna be the next Superman in the goddamn right little Clark Kent ass.

[B]

Juan. Oh, my God. You want the keys to my safe, Juan? Shit.

[A]

You ain't have to do all that, baby. All you had to do was ask. You ain't have to rob me. I'll be the wand.

[B]

Okay. And not the two. Yes. Okay.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

We sting. He doing it. I'm not mad at him, all right?

[A]

Now I know what I need to do to look better. I need to go get frozen like an ice cube.

[B]

He did cryo at 17. He did three hours of cryo.

[A]

Right? Right.

[B]

And it worked out.

[A]

Shit.

[B]

Y' all do a cryo for 15 minutes. That's not long enough.

[A]

Not long enough. You gotta go.

[B]

Freeze. Almost die.

[A]

Shit.

[B]

Cause then his cells are regenerating. Oh, my goodness. Okay, so he got three years in shipping. I'm guessing the shipping sounds like some British.

[A]

This is the sound.

[B]

In America, we got prisons called RERs.

[A]

You know, we have prisons called Shipping Leavenworth. Like, we got. We got terrible names. We got. That sounds scary.

[B]

The name. The name alone sound sounds terrifying. So this has to be in the uk. Sheppard. Welcome to Sheppard Prison.

[A]

Shit.

[B]

How would you like to be locked up today? Like, yeah, Shep is in Kent, England. Thank you, Verona. So, yeah, we're right. Shep is definitely not in America because America's prisons be like Shank Murder Correctional Facility. Right?

[A]

Right.

[B]

Have. We don't have cute names for our prisons.

[A]

Don't nobody do Guantanamo Bay. That shit sound terrible.

[B]

That just sound terrible. They tried to put BAE in it to make it sound cute, like you.

[A]

Was doing Worship you right N. We watch Train today. We know what Pelican Bay is like. We ain't trying to get no BA in our names.

[B]

Right? It don't sound good. Actually. I would rather be at Shank Murder Correctional. At least then I'm not on the island. What's the other one? That's Alcatraz. Alcatraz. That don't sound good.

[A]

That just sounds terrible. That's a scary fucking name.

[B]

Well, prison you go, I'm going to Alcatraz. That sounds like a nightmare.

[A]

Alcatraz had a nickname, too. It was called the Rock.

[B]

Like, no, no.

[A]

That just sound bad, man.

[B]

And that shit is in the middle of the ocean. And now they give tours of that visionary. Like, yeah, this is where they all got syphilis. And this is where I'm like, no. Okay, so shipping. So he's sentenced to. It says only three and a half years. So whoever authored this, and I know Kailyn does excellent research, so there's a lot of different articles and stuff, but whoever maybe probably wrote only in front of three and a half years. No, three and a half is more than enough.

[A]

That's more than enough. He ain't kill nobody.

[B]

He ain't kill nobody. He robbed some rich people of some things. Okay. They probably weren't paying all their taxes anyway.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Ain't nobody hurt. They. They fine.

[B]

They fine. Everyone's fine. Okay? So several months into his sentence, he used a fake toothache and a doctor's.

[A]

Visit to escape my man.

[B]

Of course you could, cuz at shipping, they. You probably get like that good dental, right?

[A]

Yo, he said, I got a toothache. They literally took him to a dentist. What?

[B]

This girl crazy. I feel like in America, you say you got two things. The security guard just go hit you in the mouth with a baton.

[A]

Which too. All right, let me pull it out for you. They just gonna pull that out, right?

[B]

We don't get dental.

[A]

No Novocaine or nothing.

[B]

Hell, you can't get dental when you free in America.

[A]

Yeah, you can't. And. And the who can. If you don't know it, you only got it people. Who's on Medicare? You can get free dental on Medicare if you ask for. They ain't gonna offer that shit to.

[B]

You if you ask for it. I hate it here. No, yeah, it's a part of your plan.

[A]

It's a part of your plan. If you know, we're not gonna tell you, though.

[B]

You gotta guess.

[A]

You gotta guess. You gotta. You gotta find out. You gotta find out. You got it?

[B]

So the arresting detective responded. Our first reaction was we laughed. When. When he escaped from the dentist's office, he was like, oh, my tooth, my brain. And then he got to the dentist's office and he left. The detective was. We was cracking up. It was actually hilarious. I like that. Y' all have a good sense of humor. So Juan was arrested several weeks later after hitting the Marrion Hotel in Dublin.

[A]

Juan, he should have just. My man, should have went to Australia somewhere or Asia, where they ain't got extradition laws, and just chilled.

[B]

I know he escaped with no money. So unless he had a bank account, he had to do one more thing.

[A]

He was on the Wet Bandit's Home Alone. He got out of jail and needed to rob the toy store.

[B]

He just needed. And I'm sure he was gonna skip town after that. But you gotta know when you are the hotel bandit, that people, they. The hotels know about you, girl.

[A]

Yeah, you got. You gotta. You gotta change it up.

[B]

They probably got your face up in the. In the back room where they, you know, do the linens and. And prep the room service. Like everybody knows who you are. You can't go back to hotel thieving. Not especially not in the, you know, country. You got caught.

[A]

God damn. You gotta go. You gotta go rob some country clubs or some shit.

[B]

Yeah, you gotta switch it up.

[A]

They got lockers at the country clubs.

[B]

But you know what, though? He probably didn't have all his drip like they. They raided his apartment he, you know, he's in prison, so he doesn't really have his set of tools.

[A]

So I bet you if we saw a picture of him right after jail, it was like he got hit with some kryptonite. He probably looked bad, too.

[B]

Damn. I don't know. They'll ship it. They might have, Haircut.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

They might have let him go to the dentist's office in his suit. He might be like, I feel more comfortable in my suit at the dentist. And they're like, sure, put it on. Whatever.

[A]

That's why people are addicted to crime, man. Like, they can't help themselves. Right? You broke out of jail and you free. Like, they ain't find you for several months, which means you have been successfully evading the law.

[B]

But he was activating the law. But I don't know how he made it over several weeks without. Without any access to cash. But so with multiple charges in multiple countries. He was eventually extradited to France, where charges were pending, and while charges were pending in the United States. So France was like, we want to turn. And then the US Was like, then bring him to us so we can take him to the real jails, right?

[A]

So we can take that motherfucker to Rikers. Okay.

[B]

So we can start making license plates. He gonna make license plates for us and hand sanitizer up, since.

[A]

He gonna be fighting wildfires in California.

[B]

Right? This is so. And then. But when he get out of prison, he can't become a firefighter. What?

[A]

Right, Right. Fucked up.

[B]

It's so fucked up.

[A]

Literally.

[B]

Prisons are just slave labor. They're like, let's get as many people in the jail as we can, black and brown preferred, and then work them to. We'll pay him pennies.

[A]

We'll pay him 12 cents.

[B]

So he took the opportunity to flee the United States, where he's got charges pending in the US he took that opportunity to flee to the United States, where he would be arrested in Vermont after getting caught at the Canadian border. After serving 30 months and being released, he was arrested again in Hong Kong. Damn, bro. Like, I know you tired of handcuffs.

[A]

Yeah. And he don't look as good.

[B]

Yeah, he's starting to look a little worn down. The arrests are getting to him like an addict. His lies grew more ambitious and his execution more careless as he chased his obsession with wealth and luxury. Eventually, in March 2019, he was sentenced to 15 months after stealing €217,000, roughly about US$245,000 worth of cash and jewelry from the Hotel Disneyland in the city of Chessy, France. As of today, Juan Guzman Betancur. Whereabouts are unknown. And he remains one of the world's most talented and untrustworthy criminals. So I would imagine that he's still out here doing this.

[A]

Yeah, he's still out here. He's still out here doing the damn thing. And. And the crazy part, too, is it's wild because, I mean, you said you talked about this. So you know Frank Abigail, because he's a white man who was a criminal. This man eventually got a job in the FBI helping them. Like, helping them catch people who was doing what he was doing, right? If the government was smart, they'd be like, bruh, I'm tired of catching you. You tired of being caught, man?

[B]

Right?

[A]

Let's help each other out here, brother. Like, why don't you come work for us? We gonna pay you six figures a year. You can work your way up to seven figures. But, like, come on, bro. Like, I'm tired.

[B]

This was such a waste of government. Waste, yes. It's so funny to keep catching this man.

[A]

Like, either put him away for good or let this man live, right? Let the man live. Because as soon as he get out, he gonna do the same shit. Let him live.

[B]

I know the way the laws are set up, it's like, I can't really charge him for much, you know? Like, 15 months is, like a little bit over a year. 30 months. Like, he's doing, like, 2ish years. But I don't know. I just. I think. Let him go.

[A]

Let him go. Let him go.

[B]

He's free now, and I don't know how he's doing. I hope he's doing well.

[A]

I'll be doing good. I like Guillermo or Juan. I like Juan.

[B]

Wherever you are out there, stay scheming. Still very proud of you. Love your work. Huge fan, guys. That brings us to the end of an episode. Oh, a long one. As always, if you want to snitch on your friends and family scam, get us pod@gmail.

[A]

Com.

[B]

Jacquees, we love to ask here, where would you like to be found and anything you'd like to promote?

[A]

Oh, what a beautiful thing. First of all, I'm so happy and proud for you. Of you, Lacey, you're killing it. Like you said before, we've known each other for, what, about five, six, seven years now? So, like, it's so dope to see people you come up with killing the game. Congrats on the best crime Scandal award. You doing the viola, nominating yourself in the supporting actress category. But, you know, but I. I respect it. No, but you're doing big things and I love it. I love it for you. So very happy for you. Glad to be back. Jacques Neal on everything at Jackie Snail. Follow me, y'. All. I. I wanna. I wanna scan my way into some more followers. So if you listening to this and you don't follow me, get on Instagram, get on Twitter, follow a brother, other. I'm gonna be in the upcoming season of Physical season two on Apple tv. There's no release date yet, but it's coming out, so keep an eye out for that. I'm in a couple video games, couple animated shows, Everything like that's coming. That's coming down the pipe. I'll talk about it when it's time. So, yeah, follow me on social.

[B]

Yes. And that's J, A, C, Q, U, I, S, N, E, A, L. Okay.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I was trying to text Shakis the other day and I was spelling it correctly, looking for him in my ph and then realized it's spelled incorrectly on my phone. That's what I was like. I know. We were just texting. I know. I have this number.

[A]

Was it. Was it. Were you missing the C or was the I or E?

[B]

I was missing the C. It went to J. Yeah.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And guys, as always, Scam got his pod on all platforms. If you want to see the pictures from today's episode or my nonsense and D I, V, A, L, A, C, I divalase on all platforms. If you want to see my message of lacey, mostly on TikTok. Guys, congregation. Stay scamming. Scam Goddess. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Moseley, AKA Scam Goddess. It's produced by Judith Kargbo, engineered by Marina Paiz, and researched by Kalen Brandt. Stay scheming.

[A]

Hey, I'm Paul Scheer.

[B]

I'm June Diane Rayfield.

[A]

And I'm Jason Manzoukas. And we're the hosts of how did this Get Made? A comedy podcast where we deconstruct, make fun of, and celebrate the best, best worst movies ever made. Have you ever seen a movie that's so bad that it's actually good? That's what we're talking about.

[B]

From blockbuster franchises and made for TV.

[A]

Romances to bonkers 80s action flicks and obscure sci fi musicals, we cover it all you can find. How did this get made? Wherever you get your podcasts and don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode. Idiot.

[C]

Everybody sleeps, but no two people sleep alike. At Coop Sleep Goods, we celebrate the way you sleep differently. We believe everyone deserves a great night's sleep with their own pillow. And the adjustable, customizable Coop pillow makes it easy. Whether you're a side sleeper, back sleeper, or even a starfish, we've got the perfect pillow for you. Crafted with our innovative memory foam and microfiber fill, our hypoallergenic pillows adjust to you and not the other way around. Just tailor the fill for the perfect fit, add some in, take some out until your pillow's just right for you. See why luxury hotels and spas worldwide feature Coop's Sleep goods and why we have tens of thousands of 5 star reviews? With our 100 night risk free trial, you've got nothing to lose except those sleepless nights. Get 20% off your first order when you visit coopsleepgoods.com comedy that's coopsleepgoods.com Comedy.