Scam Goddess – Fraud Friday: The Fruitcake Funneler w/ the Florida Girls

Date: December 12, 2025
Host: Laci Mosley
Guests: Patty Guggenheim, Melanie Field, Laura Chen (Florida Girls Cast)

Main Theme & Episode Overview

This episode of Scam Goddess, released as part of the Fraud Friday series, delivers a riotous deep-dive into the world of cons with extra flavor—literally—via the legendary "Fruitcake Funneler" case. Laci Mosley is joined by her fellow cast members from Florida Girls: Patty Guggenheim, Melanie Field, and Laura Chen. The crew brings irreverence and wit to dissecting both listener-submitted scams and the epic true tale of Sandy Jenkins, an unassuming bakery accountant turned multi-million-dollar embezzler.

Episode Highlights & Discussion Points

Scam Chat & Guest Intros (04:50–16:00)

• Laci Mosley launches into playful banter with her guests, introducing them and riffing on everything from dust mites to pillowcases.
• The group shares personal scam experiences—ranging from tech headaches (Apple’s business model as a “voluntary scam”) to “planned obsolescence” of devices and bulbs.
  • Quote: “Apple is a scam that I sign up for. I sign up for it willingly.” – Melanie Field (08:28)
• A lighthearted discussion of religion as another kind of “scam” in daily life.
  • Quote: "Religion is like the casino—biggest scam. So you just gotta put your money on everything." – Laci Mosley (13:02)
• The guests blend scam experiences with anecdotes about tech support, customer service, and everyday “legal” schemes.

Listener Letter: The Amazon Gift Card Principal Scam (17:35–29:37)

• Timestamps: 17:35 – 29:37
• Laci reads a letter from a listener, "Roddy Ricch," sharing their near-miss with a school principal email scam involving Amazon gift cards. The hosts gleefully roast the scam’s clumsy language and logic.
  • Scammer impersonates the school principal, requests $500 in Amazon cards with stilted language (“I am in a meeting now…”).
  • Key warning signs called out: odd urgency, typos, bizarre phrasing (“send the recipe” for card codes).
  • Quote: “The language is...very bizarre. And in return—and I’ll return you the money back to you.” – Laci Mosley (21:21)
• Broader discussion on types of digital and blackmail scams, including creepy emails referencing real passwords, and the psychology behind falling or not falling for such schemes.
  • Quote: “If my nudes get leaked...I'll just be like, well, sexual liberation movement!” – Melanie Field (24:32)
• Laci and the guests offer accessible scam-dodging advice:
  • Caution whenever someone asks for money.
  • Beware of over-explaining before you ask questions.
  • “Time sensitivity” is always a red flag.

Historic Hoodwink: Sandy Jenkins, The Fruitcake Funneler (31:45–68:58)

• Timestamps: 31:45 – 68:58
• Main Event: Laci regales the cast with the saga of Sandy Jenkins, soft-spoken corporate controller for Texas’s famed Collins Street Bakery, who embezzled $16+ million over nearly a decade.
• Setup & Context:
  • Jenkins is initially “regular degular schmegular” (34:57), overlooked in small-town Corsicana, TX; joins bakery, rises to corporate controller.
  • Bakery’s huge fruitcake business is global; fruitcakes last “practically forever,” enabling mass mail-orders.
• The Scam Unfolds:
  • Exploits accounting software to generate legit-looking checks, pays off personal credit cards, then covers tracks with vendor checks that never get mailed.
  • Initial thefts are petty cash, but soon escalates—buying a gold Lexus, luxury clothes, Ferragamo shoes, $52k in Rolexes, $658k Santa Fe house (on his card!), and taking 43 private jet trips.
    • Quote: “He went from getting a Snickers bar and a Monster Energy drink on the company dime to a Lexus. I stand obsessed.” – Laci (41:18)
  • His wife, K, goes from frumpy to fabulous, then fully quits her job; both deny knowledge as neighbors gawk at new riches and suspect they “won the lottery.”
  • Wealth splurges become cartoonish: $7,000 cellphone, $40,000 horsehair mattress, gold bars in the air vents, $50,000 Steinway, extravagant philanthropy, lavish parties, and a mountain of Hummel figurines.
    • Quote: “Making sure to check the air vents where he had stashed some of the jewels.” – Laci (61:29)
• How He Got Away So Long:
  • Bakery’s expansion means its owners are distracted, explain away losses as “business costs” (50:11).
  • Jenkins times thefts to seasons with high spending (ingredient stocking, marketing, postage).
  • Auditing is nearly foiled by his own oversight—until a new accountant, Ms. Symmetric, is hired.
• The Downfall:
  • Ms. Symmetric quickly spots a $400,000 discrepancy linked to unauthorized “Capital One” checks, then surfaces 11 issues (58:00).
    • Quote: “She didn't want to flag the check just yet...she’s in a tough spot. And she’s a woman.” – Laci (57:48)
  • Jenkins, confronted, flounders; ultimately, the embezzlement is exposed: over $16 million in stolen checks and $114,000 in cash.
  • He flees, stashing valuables across Austin—including in a park and in Lady Bird Lake; authorities quickly recover much of the loot.
  • Both Jenkins and his wife are indicted; she receives probation, he gets 10 years in prison.
    • Quote: “He stole so hard for that money, he panicked...When he ran out of hiding places, he tossed the rest in the lake.” – Laci (63:39)
• Aftermath:
  • State sale to recoup losses: designer goods, luxury watches, gold Dunhill lighter, Hummel figurines auctioned off.
  • Reflection on the psychology of white-collar crime: “It’s a sickness.” (68:01)

Notable Sidebars and Quotes

• Apple as Everyday Scam (06:46–08:43)

  • “Every time I go into the Apple Store, I’m buying something new. I’m aware I’m being scammed…and I’m not gonna do anything about it.” – Melanie Field

• On Modern Scammers’ English (20:29–21:24)

  • “This language, it feels like English is not this person’s first language.”—the cast on the telltale signs of phishing emails.

• Religious Multiplicity as Insurance (13:02)

  • “So I believed in God, and I got a little money on Jesus, y’know? Got a little money in there.” – Laci Mosley

• Nudes & Blackmail Resilience (24:32)

  • “If my nudes get leaked…I’ll just be like, well, sexual liberation!” – Melanie Field

• Scam Tells (27:52)

  • “Here’s the number one warning for a scam: If somebody’s requesting money from you, that’s already sus...if they’re giving you lots of excuses when you haven’t asked any questions...something is off.” – Laci Mosley

• Fruitcake’s Eternal Shelf Life (33:03)

  • “Fruitcakes practically never go bad!” – Laci Mosley

Memorable Moments & Humorous Asides

• The cast teasing K's “glow up” from flip-flop-wearing mamaw to diamond-laden socialite with a “quarter-million dollar engagement ring” (39:24, 49:23).
• Laci’s deadpan delivery about hiding gold bars “like eggs” in a park, and the group plotting a gold-diving trip to Austin (63:44–63:49).
• Repeated callbacks to everyday “scams”—Apple products, mattresses, charity events, even French-tip nails in Texas high schools (39:46–40:00).

Useful Timestamps

| Time | Segment | |------------|------------------------------------------------------| | 04:50–16:00| Guest intros, personal scam stories, light scam chat | | 17:35–29:37| Listener story: School principal/Amazon scam | | 31:45–68:58| The Fruitcake Funneler: Sandy Jenkins story | | 58:00–62:00| Jenkins is caught; panic, hiding loot | | 66:02–68:46| Auction, legal outcomes, reflection on greed |

Conclusion & Tone

Scam Goddess maintains its trademark irreverent, joyous vibe throughout, blending education with punchlines and real talk about the allure and absurdity of scams past and present. The hosts acknowledge the allure of “good” scams but ultimately advocate vigilance—remind listeners: “Stay scheming...but not too scheming!”

Final note from Laci:

“You can email us your scams and retired scams at scamgoddesspodmail.com. And as always—stay scheming!” – Laci Mosley (70:12)