
The Deaconess, Kimia Behpoornia (Abbot Elementary), has returned to the CONgregation. Laci and Kimia discuss AI scams that tug at the heartstrings and Laci’s thoughts on Waymo’s. Then the two dig into Owen “O-Dog” Hanson, a USC football player who became an international drug dealer and money launderer. Stay O-Doggin’! Woof! Woof! CON-gregation, catch Laci's TV Show Scam Goddess on Hulu! Keep the scams coming and snitch on your friends by emailing us at ScamGoddessPod@gmail.com. Follow on Instagram: Scam Goddess Pod: @scamgoddesspod Laci Mosley: @divalaci Kimia Behpoornia: @childclown Research by Kathryn Doyle SOURCES https://www.amazon.com/Cocaine-Quarterback-Signal-Caller-Cartel-Season/dp/B0FL25FVF1 https://themobmuseum.org/blog/owen-hanson-goes-from-cartel-kingpin-to-selling-frozen-protein-bars/ https://sports.yahoo.com/college-football/article/cocaine-quarterback-tracing-a-life-of-crime-from-the-huddle-to-the-cartel-203629376.html https://people.com/where-i...
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Lacey Mosley
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Lacey Mosley
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Lacey Mosley
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Kaitlin Coleman
Hi, I'm Kaitlin Coleman, winner of Target's HBCU design challenge. This challenge moved me closer to my dream of becoming a fashion designer through mentorship and support. You can find my design along with creations from other black founders in Target's Black History Month collection.
Lacey Mosley
Scams. Cuns. Robbery and fraud Scams cause robbery and fraud. What's poppin? Congregation, it's your girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess, back with another installment of the podcast, all about robbery, fraud and those who practice it. Sometimes we love them, sometimes we hate them. We will find out along the way. And if y' all want to see me live in Chicago at the House of Blues, in Irving, Texas at the Punchline Comedy theater, New York, NY at the Grand Mercy or in San Francisco back at the Cobbs Theater, we all know that was a chaotic show. You can go to Live Nation right now or TV Ticketmaster. And for my congregation, I will give you this scam code early. It's Goddess. If you want a little discount on your tickets. And we can all use a little discount in these times, okay? And I tried to make the tickets cute and I didn't do dynamic pricing because I know that's a scam. So I got y' all back. I got y' all back. Pull up, pull up City's and you'll see em on my socials too. But let's get to the main event here. Okay? The deaconess has returned and she has her white gloves on and she's ready for service. We are doing three services today. The highest member of the Chur are visiting and starting this year off right, you know it's gonna be a time, y'.
Kimia Benpornia
All.
Lacey Mosley
She's an actress, comedian and improv genius that I've had the pleasure of playing with for many, many years. Yes, you might recognize as a lovely lady from shows like Abbott Elementary Hacks, Unicorn Store Reboot, and so much more. Congregation, please welcome my dear friend Kimia Benpornia back to the show. Hi, Kimia.
Kimia Benpornia
Damn, Lacey, I miss you so. Much.
Lacey Mosley
I miss you, too.
Kimia Benpornia
I'm so happy to be here.
Lacey Mosley
I know. I wanted to hug you longer, but I was like, I guess we have to, like, get elevator.
Kimia Benpornia
I know. And it was pretty long to start, you know, so we could have done more.
Lacey Mosley
Also, I got caught in a wind tunnel as I was parking my car. And it was a very. Like. I thought I was gonna look fabulous today and have a fabulous start.
Kimia Benpornia
No, it was very Bridget Jones. It was very, like.
Lacey Mosley
It was a struggle. I was low key, embarrassed. It was a struggle. It was.
Kimia Benpornia
Have you seen. Because I said so. Have you seen.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, but not in a long time.
Kimia Benpornia
Okay. It's like. I think it's in this movie. I think it's Mandy Moore, like, walks over and is trying to go to work and, like, has her dress caught in her underwear and she's Tripp and across the street.
Lacey Mosley
It was very much that.
Kimia Benpornia
It's kind of that.
Lacey Mosley
It was giving that. And I couldn't even try to make it cute. I was like, I'm giving up. It's Kimia. She knows.
Kimia Benpornia
And to me, that's cute. Bridget Jones is my type, so I'm in.
Lacey Mosley
I love that.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
So I have to ask you, Kimia, what's your relationship with scams now? Any scams that have been crossing your eye, Any of you run. Any that have been tried to run on you? Could be anything.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah. I'm actually really disappointed in scams right now. Yeah. I think they're really, really getting my parents right now.
Lacey Mosley
Damn.
Kimia Benpornia
And that's. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. I, like, I went to visit them for Thanksgiving and all that happened was just every day they'd get a phone call that they would interact with.
Lacey Mosley
Oh, no.
Kimia Benpornia
And give information to. And I was like, stop, Stop. It's a scam.
Lacey Mosley
Stop.
Kimia Benpornia
My mom has canceled, like, five credit cards.
Lacey Mosley
You need to call them more, Kimia.
Kimia Benpornia
I am.
Lacey Mosley
That's why they're talking to the scammers.
Kimia Benpornia
Don't put that shit on me, Lacey.
Lacey Mosley
I am. I'm putting all that shit on. You're their only daughter.
Kimia Benpornia
I know.
Lacey Mosley
You're their only child. You have to call them, like, twice as much as other families to compensate for the other sibling.
Kimia Benpornia
They are calling me now to ask me, like, is this a scam? Has this happened to me? So that's good. They just don't like to bother me. And I don't think it's a bother. That's, like, their perspective that they're bothering me. No, I'd love to help them not get scammed.
Lacey Mosley
Exactly.
Kimia Benpornia
Yes. And then also, you know, AI is like really tricking my mom on the Internet. Oh.
Lacey Mosley
It's getting harder and harder to tell.
Kimia Benpornia
It's really bad. She thought she ordered some like weight loss thing from Oprah and she sent me the video and I was like, that's not Oprah, man.
Lacey Mosley
Oh, it was Orpah.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
It was ORP's inping. Yeah. No, no, we hate orbs and pick. You get a shot. You get a shot. You get a shot.
Kimia Benpornia
No, it's tough. It just like so didn't look like her either. Just kind of was her face. And it wasn't even tracking well in the video. And then it's just. I don't know what to do.
Lacey Mosley
Okay. If that one's getting them, then the more advanced ones I know from like Sora and other places are probably getting them because I get on TikTok and I have to like, look at the video and then check the comments or like really stare at how the people are moving. Like if they're moving too smooth, if the movements are too fluid, it's AI because it's. People move a little bit more jerky. And so I look at that. Or like one time it got me.
Kimia Benpornia
Uh oh, it got me.
Lacey Mosley
But like, I checked the comments before I said anything. Cause I was about to say something like the video like made me tear up. It was like, this is a pet adoption. Son of.
Kimia Benpornia
I fucking saw that. It's where the dogs pick you. Fuck that video. We cried so hard watching that video. And then it was like, that's AI. That sucks.
Lacey Mosley
That sucks. Cause I was like, maybe I'll go to this place and a dog will choose me. No, it's not fucking real. That sucks. Oh, that was a bummer one.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah. And it's like, I don't understand who is deciding to do that with AI. What do you gain from tricking everyone in this way?
Lacey Mosley
People who don't have any creativity. And now it's like creativity is being commodified in such a way that everyone wants to participate in, everyone wants to go viral, everyone wants to go live and get money off of TikTok or whatever. And if you don't have any creative instincts, if you're not naturally funny or you don't do videos of you like cooking gourmet meals for your dogs in a tiny dog sized kitchen. Like, if you don't have that kind of innovation, then you get on AI and you just like come up with something on there because that's not your ministry.
Kimia Benpornia
Dang. Savage. Get them. You're so right.
Lacey Mosley
I hate them. You know what I hate? To the fucking AI? Telenovelas on TikTok. Have you seen these?
Kimia Benpornia
No, I'm not on my anymore. So I get all my videos. I get all my videos a month late on reels.
Lacey Mosley
That's literally.
Kimia Benpornia
Yes.
Lacey Mosley
No, they're like this little tone of Ellis now would be like, she was a rich heiress whose baby was switched by her husband to the mistress's baby at birth. And then when the inheritance. And like, sometimes I'll be watching, I'd be like, damn, this is crazy. And I'm like, why am I. This is fucking AI. I can't watch these. Like. Dang. They're trying. They're really trying to replace actors.
Kimia Benpornia
They are, but are those actors better than me and you?
Lacey Mosley
No.
Kimia Benpornia
Come on.
Lacey Mosley
No way. But now people consume slop. There's so much on television.
Kimia Benpornia
We're being trained to like that now. That's crazy.
Lacey Mosley
They're like, we'll give them whatever we feed them. They have no choice.
Kimia Benpornia
God, we're little piggies in a trough now. Damn. I don't know how it's your job on this pod.
Lacey Mosley
I'm trying. I'm doing my best. I'm doing my absolute best. I'm trying to think of. Oh my gosh, the scam that is pissing me off right now. Fucking wayos.
Kimia Benpornia
Okay? They're a scam to me.
Lacey Mosley
They are. I believe you self driving car, right? That people have gotten locked inside of them when they were trying to like get out to their destination. They've been driving through like large, like shallow banks of water because the waymo can't detect that there's like a large amount of water that they're driving through.
Kimia Benpornia
Doesn't know what water is.
Lacey Mosley
When they drive down roads, you know how sometimes you have to merge? Cause there's construction and there's like cones on the road. The waymo can't see the cones.
Kimia Benpornia
That's crazy.
Lacey Mosley
So it was driving like it was on a normal street, like just running over cones.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, my God.
Lacey Mosley
One time a girl got into a Waymo and there was a man in the trunk.
Kimia Benpornia
What do you mean? What do you mean about that? You gotta have to explain.
Lacey Mosley
And he was like, I don't know. They put me here.
Kimia Benpornia
No, that's not enough. No, Lacy, reread that article or watch.
Lacey Mosley
The videos are supposed to like sense if there's more than one body in the car or whatever. There's like scanners. You're basically getting scanned the whole Time and it's scanning the road. And so it was hiding in the area where I guess the scanner didn't like see him. And so this girl got into the car. This is like a news story. I checked it. It wasn't AI.
Kimia Benpornia
Why was the guy in the trunk? I don't need to know anything beyond that.
Lacey Mosley
I still don't know why he was in the trunk.
Kimia Benpornia
You said they put me here.
Lacey Mosley
He said that.
Kimia Benpornia
He said who put him there? The way muscle get in the trunk.
Lacey Mosley
The they put him there. The they, they put him there.
Kimia Benpornia
Damn.
Announcer
Damn.
Kimia Benpornia
A waymo pulls up and, and tells you to get in the trunk. What are you gonna do?
Lacey Mosley
I mean, it's a machine. I'm scared. I'm scared of it.
Kimia Benpornia
I'll probably get in.
Lacey Mosley
The waymos are getting accidents. They're holding up traffic.
Kimia Benpornia
They can go on the freeway now. Can you believe that?
Lacey Mosley
Yes, I've seen them on the freeway. It's terrifying. That shouldn't happen because I'm like, here's my biggest example of why I don't think that we need them. Like yes, human error is like fucking huge as hell. But there's something that the eyes can do, the brain can process that a waymo can't do. Yeah, a waymo can scan the area and make sure you're not running into another car, you're staying on the road or whatever. But one time I think it was Ellie. You know Ellie Woods?
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
She had posted on Facebook. So obviously this was years ago. Cause I don't read dang Facebook. Yeah, back in the ancient times.
Kimia Benpornia
Okay, let's hear it.
Lacey Mosley
She posted on the Book of Faces.
Kimia Benpornia
Yes.
Lacey Mosley
And I just so happened to see it. And she was like, guys, please stop texting and driving. Whatever you're looking at can absolutely wait and it's not worth your life. And I'm such an angel anxious person that if I see an email pop up or if it's work or something, I will like glance at it or I will like pick up my phone. And I remember I saw something pop up on my phone from like my reps or something and I was like, oh, this is probably important. And then I was like, wait, Ellie said, don't text.
Kimia Benpornia
That's so sweet.
Lacey Mosley
And in that moment I looked up, I put my phone down and I looked back up. I was like glancing down. Yeah, I looked back up and I saw that there was like this, you know those rinky dink, like beat up like Ford, like trucks that are like, they have a back to them. Like they have the.
Kimia Benpornia
It's kind of rude description.
Lacey Mosley
Well, no, because they're like construction trucks. So they're constantly, like, hitting shit or getting dinged up or whatever. They're like the smaller ones. So I look up and I see one has these, like, haphazard window panes, like stacks of window panes, like, haphazardly tied around the bed of the truck. And I was like, ooh, I need to get out of this lane. And two seconds, I kid you not, I'm on the, like, 101, these window panes start flying off the back of the truck.
Kimia Benpornia
Dang.
Lacey Mosley
And if it was a Waymo, I would have just been getting hit with window panes.
Kimia Benpornia
That's true. The Waymo can't decide.
Lacey Mosley
The window pane can't be like, oh, this is not a lane to be in. Or, oh, this person is driving recklessly. I should move.
Kimia Benpornia
The Waymo doesn't know Ellie Woods.
Lacey Mosley
No.
Kimia Benpornia
Wouldn't have saved a life.
Lacey Mosley
That's why I hate them.
Kimia Benpornia
I hate them too. Get them out of here.
Lacey Mosley
I know. We don't need them. And that's the whole thing about AI and all this technology that these tech bros are making. They're like, this is so innovative. And we're like, nobody asked for this.
Kimia Benpornia
Exactly.
Lacey Mosley
What if we place everything you love with a machine and then you do the stuff that you hate? Yeah.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah. I don't think that's how the pitch went, but that is how it is manifesting in our daily lives.
Narrator
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Lacey Mosley
What's poppin, congregation? Okay, I'm coming at y' all hot because we need to debunk some things about plan B emergency contraception right now. Listen, Plan B is not an abortion pill. It's safe, effective backup birth control you take after unprotected sex to prevent pregnancy before it starts. And are y' all ready for the inside tea? It works by temporarily delaying ovulation, and it will not impact your future fertility. Because some days, who knows, someday you might want a little unemployed person in your house. Follow Plan B on insta at Plan B. One step. Use as directed quints is all about elevated essentials that feel effortless. I'm telling y', all, I've really pulled my style game together because now I can just throw on, like a. A silk dress and throw a little cardigan with it and all of a suddenly I'm like, so classy. They have versatile silhouettes. They're designed for layering and mixing, and each piece helps you build a timeless wardrobe. They have wardrobe staples with quality that's made to last 100%. Organic cotton sweaters. Premium denim made with that stretch for all day comfort. Y' all know I love my overalls. Quince works directly with safe and ethical factories to cut out the middleman. So you're not paying for brand markup, just high quality clothing. And I love their coats. You know, I'm in la, so I can use the coat in certain C, but I'm definitely taking my wool coat with me to Paris so I can look very chic in front of the people. Yes. Refresh your wardrobe with quints. Go to quint.com goddess for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com goddess free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com goddess C But okay, let's get into the main event here. Historic hoodwings. This is where I will regale Kimia with a famous con caper. Group of criminals, singular scam artists. We don't know. We don't know yet. And maybe we love them, maybe we hate them, maybe we want them waymoed.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah. I'm starting with hate.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah.
Kimia Benpornia
Is that bad? I shouldn't start neutral, but I'm starting.
Lacey Mosley
Right. I think base level hate is good.
Kimia Benpornia
Good. Okay.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, yeah. And then maybe you'll rise up to love.
Kimia Benpornia
We'll see.
Lacey Mosley
So we're talking about Owen Hansen. So Owen Hansen went from a beach volleyball prodigy to USC football player to international drug dealer mud for the most powerful cartel in Mexico. So I want to go back here. So this is Owen.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, I'm seeing that. And this is. Can I just say, before we started, Jess was like, this guy is hot. And now I'm looking at him. What do we think here? That is a thumb come to life.
Lacey Mosley
In my defense, he gets hot as we go. Okay, okay. Maybe Jess. Cause you literally told us before we started recording Jess that he was going to be hot. And I'm looking at a guy that's like, he gets paid 20 bucks to stand in the lineup like every week. Like, his face is so unremarkable.
Kimia Benpornia
I would like to take a needle and just stick it in his side, let a little bit of air out. Then I think we'll be good. Just kind of the air out, and then we're good.
Lacey Mosley
You put a little bit too much air in the tires.
Kimia Benpornia
That guy. That's that guy.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, I can see it. His PSI is way too high. Too high. Just way too high. But. So I love that he went from beach volleyball prodigy to USC football player, which. That's a great football team. And then to, like. So these two things, like, obviously, he's a great athlete.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
Like, if you can go from one sport to another that are both very difficult, like. Okay, props to you. Now, how do we jump to international drug dealer, slash money launderer for the most powerful cartel in Mexico?
Kimia Benpornia
I don't know. I guess anyone gets desperate.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah. What's the USC football player pipeline to, like, cartel?
Kimia Benpornia
Well, I guess it's just. I don't know. It's like, last year, if the cartel approached me, I'd be like, sure, there's no work in la. I guess I'm going to a cartel.
Lacey Mosley
You're two teaching improv at the cartel.
Kimia Benpornia
I'm just kind of like, that's maybe how he got there. There wasn't a lot of sport job to do.
Lacey Mosley
Right. It's like, you've got to take your sports skills to, like, I don't know, murder for hire. Those people have to be very athletic.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah. So maybe. Maybe so. He's now the subject of the docu series Cocaine Quarterback on Amazon. So, of course, he already has a docu series.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
Cocaine Quarterback is a great name.
Kimia Benpornia
It's fine.
Lacey Mosley
It could mean so many things. I'm intrigued by lots of cocaine. Before, he used to like throwing routes.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, I guess.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah.
Kimia Benpornia
I guess. Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
Okay. Yeah. Is he quarterback in the cocaine? They're like, he's our best coke guy. Like, I think you're.
Kimia Benpornia
I think that's why they named it that.
Lacey Mosley
It's exactly freebie a blow.
Announcer
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
All right, so, Owen O Dog Hansen. Okay. O Dog. I hate O Dog.
Kaitlin Coleman
Okay.
Lacey Mosley
He does have a body.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, he has. Okay, Jess, we let some air out. This is.
Lacey Mosley
We let some air out in this photo, and he does have a body. Okay. Okay, I see him. O Dog. I feel like I'm only gonna let you get away for having the nickname O Dog. If you have that many muscles. Yeah.
Kimia Benpornia
Or if somebody else gave it to you and you can't help it, but it feels like this guy decided himself that. It's like, call me O Dog.
Lacey Mosley
He started floating it. Yeah, that's what it is. He was like, yeah. Hey, hey, bro. My name's Owen, but you can call Me O Dog. Oh, God. That's how he did it. Yeah, that's how he did it.
Kimia Benpornia
Ugh.
Lacey Mosley
Oh, I love that. Wait, what would be your introduction name if you were floating a nickname?
Kimia Benpornia
To be fair, If I was floating a nickname. Shoot. Hang on, hang on. We'll get something good. All I can think of is cocaine and K Dog, so I can't freaking get past it.
Lacey Mosley
Does it have to coincide? Could I be like, hi, my name is Lacey, but you can call me Smoochie.
Kimia Benpornia
Ooh, that's cute.
Lacey Mosley
Like, smoochie. That's Smoochie over there.
Kimia Benpornia
Wait, my name is Kimia, but you could call me Cutie. Ah, crap. I'm so bad at this. Can we not do this exercise anymore?
Lacey Mosley
Oh, my God. Not exercise.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, that was an improv exercise.
Lacey Mosley
It was just a little zip zaps up.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah. Oh.
Lacey Mosley
Haven't done those in a while.
Kimia Benpornia
We don't need it.
Lacey Mosley
So. Odog grew up in Redondo Beach, California, the son of construction worker dad who went through a pretty rough divorce. So his dad got divorced. And, you know, that's like, the most traumatic thing that's happened in most privileged people's lives is they're like, my parents got divorced, and it changed my life, and it's all my trauma, and I'm.
Kimia Benpornia
Like, dude, mm, that's the worst you got. That's it.
Lacey Mosley
That's the worst you got.
Kimia Benpornia
I know. I know that.
Lacey Mosley
I acknowledge that shit to yourself.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
There are trauma Olympics there.
Kimia Benpornia
It's true.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah. I hate when I see a post and it's like, oh, I'm missing my mom today. And then someone in the comments is like, oh, yes, I remember when I lost my, like, fourth cousin. I'm like, I think mom Trump's fourth cousin.
Kimia Benpornia
That's true.
Lacey Mosley
Mom Trump's grandma.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, yeah.
Lacey Mosley
Like, you can't be like, that's your mom.
Kimia Benpornia
I know.
Lacey Mosley
Like, oh, I lost my cat the other day. Like, cat is not people.
Kimia Benpornia
No.
Lacey Mosley
Cat does not trump people.
Kimia Benpornia
Right. I guess we're just trying to find community and share grief. But.
Lacey Mosley
And everyone is entitled to feel how they feel.
Kimia Benpornia
But there is a hierarchy. Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
You just kind of know when to be quiet.
Kimia Benpornia
So just kind of clock in. If someone posts about their cousin, then you can talk about your fourth cousin.
Lacey Mosley
Exactly. That's cousin time.
Kimia Benpornia
That's what we're saying here. Yes.
Lacey Mosley
So Owen stayed with his dad while his sister went away to live with their mom.
Kimia Benpornia
Ooh.
Lacey Mosley
So they beefing.
Kimia Benpornia
Okay.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah. Giving Miley Cyrus. Like, some people got some Kids in the divorce. Some people got some others and they're.
Kimia Benpornia
Like girls and boys split.
Lacey Mosley
Which, like, okay, I would rather live with my mom even if I was a boy. Cause I just feel like the house is gonna be like the fridge is gonna be stopped. It's gonna be nicer. Like she'll probably get. But you know what though? The advantage of living with the dad is he'll get you a new mom faster.
Kimia Benpornia
Let's see.
Lacey Mosley
He will.
Kimia Benpornia
Come on.
Lacey Mosley
Guys get divorced. They're like already on the apps. They haven't even signed the papers. Like, you'll have a new mom in like 48 hours.
Kimia Benpornia
I don't see that as a bonus.
Lacey Mosley
It is. Because you know, those types of men are looking for a woman who's gon support them. And then you get that trickle down support that trickle down Secretary stepmom. No, that's a good movie. Secretary stepmom.
Kimia Benpornia
You can write that. You can have that.
Lacey Mosley
I can have that one. You know what?
Kimia Benpornia
Just put me in it.
Lacey Mosley
I'll put you in it for sure.
Kimia Benpornia
I can't join the cartel.
Lacey Mosley
Not right now.
Kimia Benpornia
No, no, no, no. Hopefully this year's better.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, but if it's not, I mean, I will go to the cartel. See kilos. I'm familiar. I feel like I could do a good job. I could be a personality hire for the cartel.
Kaitlin Coleman
That's good.
Kimia Benpornia
I can just kind of of move stuff in the stock room. I feel like I'm really focused on one task. I could just sort out the drugs for them.
Lacey Mosley
I feel like that's how you don't get murdered.
Kimia Benpornia
That's nice.
Lacey Mosley
Now you might have to do it in your underwear because I think they don't want you to be stealing.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, that's fine.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah.
Kimia Benpornia
Or they'll meet me and know that this person will never touch the drugs.
Lacey Mosley
Maybe I can do like. Yeah, that's true.
Kimia Benpornia
You talk to them for two seconds, they're like, are you sure it's giving.
Lacey Mosley
Like upper level management?
Kimia Benpornia
Yes.
Lacey Mosley
Like, you got a clipboard for the drugs?
Kimia Benpornia
I'm like, so you need what?
Lacey Mosley
Where?
Kimia Benpornia
Got it. Uh huh.
Lacey Mosley
I definitely would probably try to steal the drugs. I feel like they would know that about me. Like, so I feel like I need to be in like the leaves process. Like when it's not the drug yet.
Kimia Benpornia
When it's getting process, you're gonna be a chemist. You're making the drug. Good God, you gotta go back to school for that.
Lacey Mosley
So Owen goes with the dad, and Owen slept on the top bunk with a renter sleeping on the bottom bunk so his dad could make some extra cash. See, this is what I said about going to live with your dad. Now you got you living underneath the border. It's giving. Hey, Arnold. Like, why are so many people, they.
Kimia Benpornia
Built their own rooms in. Hey, Arnold.
Lacey Mosley
That's true. That's true. They did. And how you gonna have your son sharing a room with a renter? You don't know these renters.
Kimia Benpornia
Who's this renter who's like, yeah, I'll sleep under your son and then, oh yeah.
Lacey Mosley
Are you putting that in Craigslist? I hate this Bed for rent son is upstairs bed neighbor. What?
Kimia Benpornia
God, this guy's kind of a hero. Now that I know. He ends up like on USC football through all this.
Lacey Mosley
Right. I'm kind of not mad at it.
Kimia Benpornia
Ok.
Lacey Mosley
This divorce sent Owen into a spiral. And we. And we feel that spiral for you. We do. As a California kid, beach volleyball became his drug. He says, I didn't drink, I didn't do drugs. I slept with my volleyball above his bed neighbor.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, right.
Lacey Mosley
He left that part out, but that's where he was sleeping. So imagine being the below deck neighbor. And it's like you got somebody sleeping like they cast away with like Wilson, like just up there with your volleyball. Yeah. Are you taking the volleyball to bed every night? Okay, O dog. Whatever you gotta do to survive. So volleyball went pretty well for him. By high school, he was 6 foot 3 and had a 37 inch vertical jump, which is really high.
Kimia Benpornia
Sure.
Lacey Mosley
The average vertical jump for a man, if you don't know, is 20 inches.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, wow. Then yeah, that's high.
Lacey Mosley
That's how we always joke about in the Olympics. We need one regular person next to all the super human people so we.
Kimia Benpornia
Can actually gauge how impressive that is.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, they need that in basketball too. I, I hate like when I, I'll sometimes click on like sports fans. Guys who are like really up in arms and like tweeting @lebron or tweeting K, you know, whoever. And like look at their physique and like look at them. And I'm like, you could never do what they do. You are not entitled to an opinion.
Kimia Benpornia
Totally.
Lacey Mosley
I just think if you can't do it, you should shut up.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, but that's their fandom. What else are they gonna yell about? They're mad at somebody else, but they're yelling at kd.
Lacey Mosley
Someone said sports fans are just like K pop fans in a different vibe.
Kimia Benpornia
They are.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah.
Kimia Benpornia
Yes.
Lacey Mosley
It's true.
Kimia Benpornia
The way I feel about the WNBA is how my friend feels about K Pop.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah.
Kimia Benpornia
So I got it. They know I got it.
Lacey Mosley
They know. They have the fancams. Yes.
Kimia Benpornia
It's the freaking same.
Lacey Mosley
So he got this vertical, right? He's got all this volleyball talent. This got him a volleyball scholarship to usc, which is, if you don't know, the University of Southern California.
Kimia Benpornia
Boo. Boo. I went to ucla, so I have to do that.
Lacey Mosley
Okay.
Kimia Benpornia
So you have to do that. I just kind of have to do that. Yeah, you have to do that.
Lacey Mosley
No, it's fine. I'm glad you did it.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah. Thanks.
Lacey Mosley
They would be disappointed if you didn't.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to do it.
Lacey Mosley
So it's a school for, like, the rich kids of celebrities, you know, who didn't get into Ivies, and later, you know, it would become the primary site for the Varsity Blues scandal, which, if you don't know, it was like, rich people and celebrities were bribing coaching staff, or they were like, bribing tutors who were really good at taking the SAT into, like, cheating on the SAT for their kids and all. So if you don't remember Varsity Blues, we have a great episode on it. It's super fun because these people are crazy.
Kimia Benpornia
Yep.
Lacey Mosley
So Owen would never have thought going to USC without a scholarship. Right. Cause he's, like, on the top bunk of his debt. You know, he don't got money for that.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, yeah.
Lacey Mosley
Unfortunately, when he got there, the volleyball coach threatened to cut him from the team if he didn't improve his strength and vertical jump. So remember, he couldn't go there without a scholarship, so volleyball is for him to live.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, totally.
Lacey Mosley
He living off the ball.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah. Wait, improve it more than. Didn't we already say he's like a. Got a crazy impressive vert.
Lacey Mosley
I. I guess it was for high school, but then he got to usc. Those are top tier athletes.
Kimia Benpornia
Athletes are tough, man. Once you hit the top, everyone's like, no, there's more.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, there's more.
Kimia Benpornia
You could keep going.
Lacey Mosley
No, I'm sorry. You were. You were in a barrel, babes. This is the ocean. This is the ocean.
Kimia Benpornia
That sucks. Okay.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, like, you're krill. Babes. We got whales out here.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, my God.
Lacey Mosley
Stressful.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
So stressful. So that makes me feel bad for him because I really want him to be able to get his school.
Kimia Benpornia
I know.
Lacey Mosley
So he could have really, like, hit the gym, but instead he hit up his Mexican friends from Redondo, including one particular.
Kimia Benpornia
Okay, keep going.
Lacey Mosley
It could have hit the gym, but.
Kimia Benpornia
Then he was like, nah, that's such a funny sentence.
Lacey Mosley
I'mma hit up my Mexican friends from Redondo because y' all ain't making me jump higher. I'm jumping high enough, bitch. So one of his friends in particular, whose name was Spanky.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
Spanky, took Owen to Tijuana to a veterinarian where they bought steroids to smuggle back to the U.S. okay, this is starting to thread for me now. This is starting to make sense why he hit up Spanky. He was like, I don't want to hit the gym. Spanky, can we go get these roids from Tijuana? Right?
Kimia Benpornia
From a vet.
Lacey Mosley
These Chihuahua roids.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah. Yuck.
Lacey Mosley
So Owen got the drugs across the border and. And his booty crack. No, not the hole.
Kimia Benpornia
Okay.
Lacey Mosley
The crack.
Kimia Benpornia
Fine.
Lacey Mosley
Okay. So they were cleaner. Okay.
Kimia Benpornia
I mean, are they just. For him, it's fine. He could put it on his butt and take it.
Lacey Mosley
He's very insistent on this in the documentary that don't say it was booty hole.
Kimia Benpornia
It was not a no homo.
Lacey Mosley
Not a no homo.
Kimia Benpornia
Come on, buddy.
Lacey Mosley
Ain't gonna smuggle drugs and be like. Pause.
Kimia Benpornia
No.
Lacey Mosley
Like, they're smuggling. And this booty hole and booty crack. They right there.
Kimia Benpornia
It absolutely wasn't his hole then it had. That's kind of it.
Lacey Mosley
Because he's saying he's. He's. Why is he saying it so much that they weren't? Yeah, yeah, they were.
Kimia Benpornia
We got you, Odo.
Lacey Mosley
It was probably like he. There were probably some overflow in the crack, but.
Kimia Benpornia
Yes.
Lacey Mosley
So this successful smuggling experience gave Owen a high that he continued to chase for the rest of his life. I'm sure when you put steroids in a orifice, you get quite the high.
Kimia Benpornia
Right?
Lacey Mosley
So the butt steroids got Owen so jaxed that one of the coaches for the USC football team noticed his muscles and asked him to try out for the team, even though he had never thrown a football in his life.
Kimia Benpornia
Dang.
Lacey Mosley
So a coach saw and was like.
Kimia Benpornia
Man, sometimes you just need to be a big boy for sports. Isn't that kind of a bummer?
Lacey Mosley
Yeah.
Kimia Benpornia
What to think about where I'm like, okay, wait, is that. Is that the same for women? I guess you could be tall, and then they're like, play basketball. But you still have to be coordinated. You still have to coordinate. Sometimes being a big boy in football is just. You kind of got to stand there and ram yourself into another guy. Am I simplifying football too much?
Lacey Mosley
But I feel like there's probably some, like, volleyball People who are just super tall and, like, you try to spike it over the net and they're just like, no. Like, they just raise their hand.
Kimia Benpornia
That's their only job. That's fair. I'm just so small. I'm so jealous.
Lacey Mosley
I know. I mean, athleticism is just. It's luck, man. It's luck. You get it or you don't. You can work real hard at it, but sometimes you're just never going to get there.
Kimia Benpornia
That's so a bummer.
Lacey Mosley
That's why I miss middle school sports. Because they really started to weed out the delulus and the people whose parents were, like, pushing them into sports, trying to relive their, like, high school fantasies. And then, like, I don't know about you, but, like, I tried to play basketball.
Kimia Benpornia
Yes. I also tried.
Lacey Mosley
I auditioned. See, I'm going to say I auditioned for the basketball team. That's not what you do. You don't audition for. You try out. Yes. That's how I knew I shouldn't be there.
Kimia Benpornia
Right.
Lacey Mosley
I have basketball auditions today.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, Lacey.
Lacey Mosley
I was like, let me watch some High School Musical and get prepared. And they did the nicest thing, though. Like, when all the tryouts were done, they had, like, three different teams, right? They had the varsity, the jv, and then, like, the losers, the backup stream.
Kimia Benpornia
We didn't have the third team where.
Lacey Mosley
I'm from, just shaking our head like.
Kimia Benpornia
No, no, we just had the.
Lacey Mosley
Okay. It was just the two then. Okay. That makes you feel better.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
But when the tryouts were over, they handed you a letter. And so everyone got a letter. They didn't put it up on the board to try to embarrass your ass. They handed you a letter, and then you left. You went home and you opened your letter on the bus so you could cry in private. I didn't cry, but I was like, I'm not gonna get in. And I opened it and was like, yeah, I figured, yeah. So, you know, we can't all be Owen. We can't all be Odab.
Kimia Benpornia
I know. Good for him.
Lacey Mosley
He became a walk on for the football team in 2003 as a title in, like you said, big boy. He wasn't a quarterback, even though the docu series called him cocaine quarterback. That just hit different, like, cocaine tight end feels like something else.
Kimia Benpornia
It's what he doesn't want. He doesn't want us to think about it in his booty hole, I think.
Lacey Mosley
Cocaine tight end. If you know, you know. Damn, Lisa, that's a deep cut for some Gays, so they'll know. You can Google it, but I don't recommend Googling it. Just. Just ask a friend. So Owen's teammates included lots of future pro NFL players like Matt Lionheart and Reggie Bush.
Kimia Benpornia
I've heard of that one.
Lacey Mosley
Yes, we've all heard of. I mean, cause of Kim K. Is that why you heard of Reggie Bush? Or because of the Heisman? Or because they took the Heisman back? Or because they gave it back to him later?
Kimia Benpornia
I think it's just because of Wendy's commercials, unfortunately.
Lacey Mosley
Wendy's commercial.
Kimia Benpornia
Or maybe I'm thinking of the wrong guy.
Lacey Mosley
Oh, look at that.
Kimia Benpornia
So that's really good.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah. Let's see.
Kimia Benpornia
That's him with Kim K. They dated.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, they did.
Kimia Benpornia
Okay, good for her. Listen, she's seen everybody, huh?
Lacey Mosley
She's. Listen, she's trying every flavor. Like, at the Baskin Robin. She's in just, like, maybe an athlete, maybe a comedian, you know, maybe a smart guy, maybe a dumb guy. You know, I love it. So, like, on the volleyball team, Owen didn't actually play very much, but the partying was. Was epic. Of course it was, because people are like superstars. They're on national television every day, and people are watching these games. So while partying with the team in Vegas, Owen met UFC fighter Chuck Liddell and a man named Tank, who would also become a close friend of Owens. Yeah, I feel like if your name is Tank. Okay, so is that Chuck? That's Chuck.
Kimia Benpornia
That's Chuck. Nice, Chuck.
Lacey Mosley
What's happening here?
Kimia Benpornia
That's what I thought he'd look like.
Lacey Mosley
Like, it's like he had a mohawk, but they drew it on with a pencil. Like, it's so much head left over on each side. Like, too much head. Like, what's happening?
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah. It is not a great hairstyle. Is his beard a different color?
Lacey Mosley
Yes. That's okay.
Kimia Benpornia
That's maybe normal. No eyebrows, though.
Lacey Mosley
No, no eyebrows. He doesn't need those.
Kimia Benpornia
Okay.
Lacey Mosley
There's a lot going on with his head. It's a little Robloxy. But you know what? Good for. For him. And then we have Tank. Okay. And does Tank have an Angelina Jolie tattoo on his neck? No.
Kimia Benpornia
That's gotta be a family member.
Lacey Mosley
It looks like Angelina.
Kimia Benpornia
No, it does. Not to me. Okay, weigh in in the comments.
Lacey Mosley
It could be a poorly drawn Angelina in every tattoo artist.
Kimia Benpornia
Not Angelina.
Lacey Mosley
Okay. Angelisha didn't.
Kimia Benpornia
It could be.
Lacey Mosley
Yes. This guy definitely looks roided up like Tank.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, totally.
Lacey Mosley
Look at that hairline he be doing, Royce.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, dang.
Lacey Mosley
You know he get up every day, everybody fighting. It's several holes in the in the walls of his house.
Kimia Benpornia
What?
Lacey Mosley
Just for mild inconveniences.
Kimia Benpornia
Okay, just from punching, I got you.
Lacey Mosley
He's like on hold too long with his cable provider. He's like, you can't have gas, you dang Tank Robbery.
Narrator
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Lacey Mosley
And fraud. So Tank had a better hookup for performance enhancing drugs than the Booty Booty.
Kimia Benpornia
Than the veterinarian in Mexico.
Lacey Mosley
Ok, so Tank took Owen up and Owen became the unofficial team doctor for the USC football players.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, no.
Lacey Mosley
And other sports too. Providing illegal drugs for players who were injured or wanted an extra boost or needed Adderall to stay awake in class. So I love that he's the unofficial team doctor. Like what a class?
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, exactly. He can call him a doctor. Also check out usc. Cheating so hard. Cheating so hard.
Lacey Mosley
Come on.
Kimia Benpornia
I Bet every. I bet UCLA did this too.
Lacey Mosley
But I love this branding. Like, I call scammers who like, like our him in different fields. They're serial entrepreneurs. Or if you sell drugs, you're a street pharmacist. So I love that he's the unofficial USC doctor providing you with Adderall and. And non booty hole roids.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
And illegal drugs. So whatever you needed basically kind of had it off. He's a pharmacy.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, he was.
Lacey Mosley
I love that the USC football team won the national championship game in 2005, and they were on top of the world.
Kimia Benpornia
Wow.
Lacey Mosley
Owen didn't play in the game, but his dad did see him on TV during the celebration after the win. That's sweet. For his dad. He was probably sitting in his bunk bed, like, full circle moment. That's my boy. That's my boy. To his bed. Roommate. Yes, that's him.
Kimia Benpornia
That's my boy.
Lacey Mosley
So what does a former collegiate athlete, drug dealer do when he graduates and isn't good enough to play in the NFL? While his friends went off to play pro football, Owen started Owenssells.com. oh, okay. He got. He went and registered a domain.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
What do you think he's gonna be selling?
Kimia Benpornia
It's drugs, right?
Lacey Mosley
Come on.
Kimia Benpornia
No.
Lacey Mosley
Selling real estate.
Kimia Benpornia
No, he's not. I should have guessed better.
Lacey Mosley
I could have got there.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
But that was just in time for the real estate crash of 2007.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, boy.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah.
Kimia Benpornia
I mean, this is. Things are not working out for Odog.
Lacey Mosley
It wasn't. And this is the economy. This is a millennial story. Odog was really pulling himself up by his bootstraps. He went from, like, bunk mate neighbors, truly, to, like, you know, prestigious school athlete to another prestigious school football team at the same, you know, university. Now he's got the booty drugs. Now he's upgraded from the booty drugs to the, you know, tank drugs.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
And now he's a USC unofficial team doctor. And then he tries to do Owen sales, which is definitely what I would think about for real estate. Like, I think when I Google real estate, it, like, comes up number one for sure. Owen sells.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, sure.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah. Cause it's a great name for, like, a real estate company.
Kimia Benpornia
Right.
Lacey Mosley
So now he's pivoting. Guess what he pivots to.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, God, I don't know.
Lacey Mosley
I'll wait.
Kimia Benpornia
You're gonna. Okay, so I'm gonna give a good guess. He pivots to building furniture.
Lacey Mosley
Wow. How wholesome. Like, Jesus. Yeah, no, he pivoted to being a bookie.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, okay. Of course. And now looking at this photo that we've got up, that's the most bookie looking man.
Lacey Mosley
That man definitely look like he booking. He booking everything. And he breaking. You just know. He got a tie. Ride in his car at all times.
Kimia Benpornia
Yes. I mean, his head is in the shape of a pin also, Jess, he did not get hotter.
Lacey Mosley
I will.
Kimia Benpornia
I'm gonna say it. It's just this picture with Tank guys just kind of. That. You kind of like his smile there.
Lacey Mosley
And just. I don't even know if he's hot there because he's wearing so much man makeup. He's got on a hat with the brim turned backwards so we can't see the forehead size. He got these huge ass shades on, so we can't see the eyeballs. And if they're giving dead in the face, we're only getting lower half. It's like a reverse Covid mask on the top of his face is bl. And we just get to imagine everything else.
Kimia Benpornia
So maybe it was a smile and abs.
Lacey Mosley
You just smile and abs just. It was just smiling abs.
Kimia Benpornia
How simple.
Lacey Mosley
I do miss that in Covid days where you could, like, see people out in their masks and their eyes would be beautiful, and you just, like, imagine what their face looked like.
Kimia Benpornia
You missed this. The whimsy.
Lacey Mosley
You Covid. I don't miss the COVID And I.
Kimia Benpornia
Don'T miss this part where you could just.
Lacey Mosley
Oh, my God. Grocery store and just, like, looked at people's eyes.
Kimia Benpornia
No, I didn't.
Lacey Mosley
They look like they could be hot.
Kimia Benpornia
Right.
Lacey Mosley
But then sometimes they would, like, take the mask off, and I'd be like, oh, my God.
Kimia Benpornia
That was the stressful part. You're like, dang, it does really matter.
Lacey Mosley
The halves of the face do so much. And I would argue it's like how you cut something through the center. Like, what would that be like for y' all out here listening? Like, you know how you can cut?
Kimia Benpornia
What are you talking about? Symmetry. You trying to describe symmetry?
Lacey Mosley
No, but I mean, just, like, slicing it in half.
Kimia Benpornia
I got you.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, but from, like, top to bottom.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, horizontally.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, there we go.
Kimia Benpornia
There you.
Lacey Mosley
Gosh, it took me a while to get there. I really need to eat something. Jesus. I was like, no, but you know. You know, when the.
Kimia Benpornia
No, I got you.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, you know, Pythagorean theory and then trying. Okay, you got me. So horizontal. I feel like that's the cut. It's like, horizontal.
Kimia Benpornia
That's where it matters.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, but that's a good scam for Y' all cover up that top half. If that bottom half doing something for people, you know, that is a good.
Kimia Benpornia
Scam for you all. I hope you find love. Right?
Lacey Mosley
Know which top of your face is the good part?
Kimia Benpornia
Yes.
Lacey Mosley
Put that on your ass. Apps. This guy has no bottom part of his face on his lap. It's just eyes.
Kimia Benpornia
It could be. The mystery is what pulled you in. Right, Lacey?
Lacey Mosley
So he had observed bookies at parties in Vegas. This is Owen. And he thought he had what it took to do it, given his sports background. So I love that he was inspired by these bookies. He was like, this looks like something like. That's what I'm talking about. Representation matters, you know? Has he even had the bookie outfit?
Kimia Benpornia
Yes, yes.
Lacey Mosley
He's given bookie. So on betodog.com he is registering domains.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
He's like, I know. Godaddy. Hate to see him coming.
Kimia Benpornia
That's really millennial too, right? Just like, making sure you got your domain locked in.
Lacey Mosley
And that's like one of my favorite things about millennials right now. Trolling this administration is like, because they're so boomerish, they don't realize, like, when you start something, you need to, like, buy the donation name. So, like, when Trump slapped his name on the Kennedy center, they didn't get the donate the domain. No, they didn't, but somebody did. Someone bough. So now they can't get it.
Kimia Benpornia
That's right. I bet you a millennial freedom fighter has to be.
Lacey Mosley
You know, it's us. Shout out to Tom from MySpace. He taught us how to code a little bit.
Kimia Benpornia
That's right.
Lacey Mosley
And we're using it for good. Now, we might not be coming outside, but we're. But we're using it for Good.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
So betodog.com is where Owen took big sports bets from shadowy characters online. He opened an office in Costa Rica. Okay. Why are you in Costa Rica? Oh, dog. Why are you anywhere? I don't even understand. So. And he had it in enforcer named Cobra.
Kimia Benpornia
Okay. His friends have fun nicknames.
Lacey Mosley
Right? All of them. And so Cobra is like a six foot six tall blood. Blood. Uh oh, like he in the gang.
Kimia Benpornia
That's what I mean.
Lacey Mosley
Talking about. Gang.
Kimia Benpornia
Gang. That's what I think that means.
Lacey Mosley
Who could intimidate betters who lost and didn't pay up. So I actually thought that Odogg was gonna be breaking the legs, but he's got Cobra for that.
Kimia Benpornia
Sure.
Lacey Mosley
And if you tell me Cobra, like that name always scares me. The health insurance is really expensive. That scares me. That cobra. A snake Cobra scares me.
Kimia Benpornia
Name another Cobra.
Lacey Mosley
The third cobra is. Wait, wait, give me a fourth cobra.
Kimia Benpornia
Fourth cobra. Isn't there a malt liquor named Cobra too or something? Ah, damn, there probably is. That shit's probably so nasty and scary.
Lacey Mosley
It's scary. Drink Cobra if you want to die tonight.
Kimia Benpornia
Dude, you're so right.
Lacey Mosley
Okay.
Kimia Benpornia
Cobra's scary all the way.
Lacey Mosley
One of Owens most lucrative clients was a prominent member of a Mexican cartel who was regularly losing $100,000 a until finally he hit a five leg parlay and won $220,000. And like, parlays are hard because it's like you have to bet a lot of specific things and they all have to happen in that one game for you to win. So like, you could say, like, oh, Katie is going to leave in the first half and they're not on the same team, which I know, whatever sports. But then LeBron's going to score exactly 46 points and you know, somebody going trip and fall at the third half, like, you put all these things together and you hit the parlay, pays the biggest. Cause it's like so hard to make that bet.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, that's crazy.
Lacey Mosley
So, you know, we got the Mexican cartel guy. He been losing 100k a week. He finally, he upped 220k. Owen paid up quickly, which the cartel boss appreciated. Okay. I feel like cartel bosses love it when you pay them their money on time.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, yeah, that sounds right.
Lacey Mosley
I think that's a staple of the cartel.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, I think so.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah. They don't like net 90s, net 45s, net 30s. No, you need to pay. So the boss sent Owen an encrypted floor phone, basically a phantom BlackBerry with untraceable communication. The boss asked Owen to pick up a package of $1 million in Brownsville, Texas. I ain't know they got a million going through Brownsville, Texas. Chad, let me get back to Texas.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, what can you do?
Lacey Mosley
I can, right? I could go to usps. I could definitely do that. So he asked him to pick up this package of a million dollars in exchange for $100,000. So he gets a little cut of the million if he picks it up. Owen flew to Texas with Tank, naturally, to pick up a duffel bag full of money from a gardener. And that's how Owen started working for the cartel. Oh, and look at that. Look at Tank and him, like, and they.
Kimia Benpornia
Is that the duffel bag on their shoulder?
Lacey Mosley
Right. They look so whimsical. They look so tan. Like, Tank Looks so tan.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, look at them. They're thriving currently.
Lacey Mosley
Tank's starting to look like the singer. Tank there, the black one. Like, how tan did you get?
Kimia Benpornia
Who's the singer? Tank.
Lacey Mosley
You heard of Tank?
Kimia Benpornia
You know, I don't know music.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, that's true. People know. We'll put a picture of Tank in there for the references for Kimia. Those like Kimi. And I'll look it up. I'll look it up. So putting the cartel before the horse. That's Tank.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, that does look like Tank.
Lacey Mosley
Right?
Kimia Benpornia
Well, look at that.
Lacey Mosley
Tank and Tank.
Kimia Benpornia
Maybe because they're both just not smiling or something.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, Tank's way better looking. I'm not gonna do like that Tank.
Kimia Benpornia
But no, definitely not.
Lacey Mosley
But he's also Tank, our enforcer. Tank is wearing the man makeup top, so that's what's giving it. So Owen trafficked cocaine, meth, ecstasy, and Heroin in the U.S. mexico, Canada, and Australia while still running his illegal offshore betting business. Okay, you are a busy man, Owen. Owen, you are. Aren't you tired?
Kimia Benpornia
I was just thinking that this guy's just been running and running.
Lacey Mosley
Like, if Owen's got a girlfriend or a boyfriend or, you know, just a part partner in general. He comes home from crime every day like, babe, just. Just put the dinner on and let me watch some sports. I need to decompress. Like, you got too much crime going on.
Kimia Benpornia
There's a lot going on.
Lacey Mosley
When do you sleep?
Kimia Benpornia
I know.
Lacey Mosley
Australia was where he ran into a problem, though. The cartel boss, who he never named, asked if he knew anyone in Australia. Owen didn't. So he got himself an apartment in Sydney and moved down there. He said, let me go. Move. Let me go.
Kimia Benpornia
Now he's really doing whatever for this cartel guy. Hell, yeah.
Lacey Mosley
Well, I mean, when you get involved with a cartel guy, I feel like you kinda gotta. Yeah, I feel like it's kind of one of those jobs for life. Yeah, like, termination is the termination of your life.
Kimia Benpornia
Dang.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, like, you don't meet with hr. You meet with the Lord. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, okay, that's fair, because you're on boarding paperwork and you're off the boat. Boarding paperwork.
Kimia Benpornia
Right. Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
Mm. So his apartment became the shipping destination for DHL packages full of cocaine. He had no problem selling it, and Australian prices for cocaine are three times higher than in the US Due to how hard it is to get it in the country. But his apartment was, like, filled with millions of dollars in cash, and he couldn't figure out how to get it back to the cartel. So he was selling it over to the Aussies, obviously. Like, cocaine is like, you can drive to get cocaine. Cocaine in the States.
Kimia Benpornia
Okay.
Lacey Mosley
But in Australia.
Kimia Benpornia
I don't know any of this. I'm following you.
Lacey Mosley
You know, Obviously. Kimmy, remember when we drove to Tijuana?
Kimia Benpornia
Yes. Movie. And we got ourselves some cocaine and.
Lacey Mosley
We came back and the butt roids and. Yeah, we came back.
Kimia Benpornia
Okay.
Lacey Mosley
So now he's got all this cash, though. How does he get it back?
Kimia Benpornia
I don't know. He's gotta, like, buy something. He's gotta launder it. Am I close?
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, you're close. So he couldn't get on a plane with a suitcase full of cash. Right. And he couldn't open a bank account because they would need his passport. And then once they have your pass. I know this for a fact from changing over money. Once you get to a certain amount of money, you cannot change over anymore. You can go to any exchange center in the city, in the country, and they will run your passport and be like, oh, we've given you enough cash. We're not giving you anymore.
Kimia Benpornia
Okay.
Lacey Mosley
So he's in it. He's kind of in a. Like, a little. Like, he's got a problem right now. Right? How is he gonna move this money back? So he tried hiding the money in gold bullion in the soles of hollowed out Ugg boots, one of Australia's biggest exports, and them to Mexico. But it wasn't going fast enough because how much gold can you get into Ugg boot? Ugg boot is an light shoe.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, you really can't do much. Why don't you pick a Doc Marten? Because they're not an Australia thing.
Lacey Mosley
Oh, yeah, that's probably why. Because I'm like, yeah, you're right. Like, Uggs are just too light.
Kimia Benpornia
Right?
Lacey Mosley
If I pick up a Ugg and it's like. Like I know something, something is wrong. It's supposed to be a cloud. That's like the whole part of. Yeah, but sure. So he ended up contacting a professional gambler and a weird media personality. Robin. Nobody has a real name here. That's how we know y' all all do crime.
Kimia Benpornia
That's right.
Lacey Mosley
So this is Robin hood. Vegas. It's Robinhood 702.
Kimia Benpornia
And gambler, activist, philanthropist. Okay, Robin Hood. Okay, so what, he's taking money. He's doing scams and giving to the people who need money. I kind of like this guy.
Lacey Mosley
In his bio, it says, I try every day to change the world for the better.
Kimia Benpornia
Good for him. With crime947followers. He's not really getting.
Lacey Mosley
He doesn't need too much mini. He doesn't need to be out there too much because then they're going to catch him.
Kimia Benpornia
Sure. Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
I love that he like, he's the 702nd Robin Hood. Like. Or is that like his area code maybe?
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, is that the Vegas area code? I wouldn't know. Maybe that's what's up.
Kaitlin Coleman
You are from.
Kimia Benpornia
No, I'm not. My parents just moved there.
Lacey Mosley
Okay. No allegiance.
Kimia Benpornia
I guess now they live there, but that's it.
Kaitlin Coleman
There it is.
Kimia Benpornia
You nailed that, Lacy. Dang.
Lacey Mosley
Listen, I love a crap table. So he. I just remember from all the ads in Vegas, like that'll be like, call me now. Hot girls and they like drive by in these huge trucks and it's always that area code. I don't call them.
Kimia Benpornia
But you got a good memory. I remember. Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
So he ended up calling this guy, right? And this guy claims Robinhood702 to steal from the rich and give to the poor by winning money from casinos and giving away to people in need. He had a website where people could submit their personal stories for why he should help them. Robin Hood wore a mask and tried to hide his identity. But his real name was RJ Cipriani. Also love that name.
Kimia Benpornia
I like this guy.
Lacey Mosley
I like this guy. Also. What a great way to money launder. I just say you gave it away to all these stories.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, you think he's keeping it?
Lacey Mosley
He might be giving it to him, but then also like being like, I think like giving it to him twice or four times. Like who's, who's. Who's gonna know? I don't know. Let's see.
Kimia Benpornia
He sounds noble to me.
Lacey Mosley
He does. No, I still think that's noble. As long as the people get the coins. Okay, so Owen thought he could use this high stakes gambler to yes. Lond the money out of Australia. Over two days, Owen staked RJ with 4 million at a blackjack table at the Sydney Star casino. On the first night, Cipriani won $300,000 on a bankroll of 1.5 million. With 1.8 million, Cipriani received a casino check from the Star that he brought back to the US to cash at a sister property. So the second time he got, you know, like with 1.8 million, he turned that into a check that he could bring back to the States and then cash at another chain that was in America.
Kimia Benpornia
I see.
Lacey Mosley
So this is how the laundering is working.
Kimia Benpornia
Laundering never makes sense to Me, so I'm so confused on this part. But that's okay.
Lacey Mosley
It's like you have to turn your money into some because it's crime money. So you're going to lose a little money on laundering, and that's fine. But it's like you have to show the government where you got the money from. You just start getting a lot of money. The Uncle Sam going to start getting nosy. He like, where you getting all that money from? Young blood. Yeah. And then so you have to be like, it's for my laundromat. It's all these coins. That's why I'm making millions. There was a bunch of restaurants. People were talking about these restaurants in New York City that would pop up and like, be there. Like they were storefronts that would pop up overnight and be there for like maybe a few months. And then they would shut down. And everybody was like, those weren't actual restaurants. They were fronts. And then there's a notorious front in New York City. I can't remember what it is, but I don't want to. But the food that they were making got so popular that they had to just keep the business.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, that's kind of fun.
Lacey Mosley
They're like, we're here to launder money. And everybody's like, delicious. Give me another one of them.
Kimia Benpornia
Like, yeah, I love that.
Lacey Mosley
I love it. So on the next evening, Owen gave Cipriani $2.5 million to do it again. Run it back. This time though, RJ lost it all. He says it was on purpose because he was working with the feds, but Owen says he's just a bad gambler. I'm gonna agree with Owen on this one because if I give you 1.5 and you roll back with 300k, what was you doing with the money?
Kimia Benpornia
That's true. I was already disappointed in RJ because he was such a good guy. And then he got involved with O Dog.
Lacey Mosley
I mean, I mean, what if RJ is giving some O Dog money to the families?
Kimia Benpornia
I don't know that he is.
Lacey Mosley
We'll never know. We'll never know.
Kimia Benpornia
Fine, I'll keep up hope.
Lacey Mosley
In any case, Owen made it out of Australia that time, but a years long federal case against him ended when he was arrested by undercover agents on a golf course in 2015. So that's the thing about, like the feds is they will. They're just like Target. Target?
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, like target.
Lacey Mosley
Oh, they let you hit the same.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, a certain number.
Lacey Mosley
Like they're gonna research you. Not this. This Is a meme.
Kimia Benpornia
What is this? What's happening?
Lacey Mosley
He's like, I see you. That was the fizz. Looking at him like I see.
Kimia Benpornia
Dang. Where is. He's under a pier.
Lacey Mosley
Is he under a beer?
Kimia Benpornia
That's kind of what it looks like from the background. I don't know.
Lacey Mosley
I've only seen under the piers. Went in like Jersey or Bob's Burgers.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, Bob's Burgers. I love that episode.
Lacey Mosley
They're gonna murder them. It's so good. I love Bob's Burgers. Y' all know that. Well, I will say I feel like this was a pretty good scam. But I am upset that Owen wasn't being more careful. Because like I said, Target's just like the feds. Like, the feds will build the case on you for many, many, many years. So you're thinking you're getting away with it, but they're just stacking up enough evidence so that they know when they throw that book at you, it's gonna hit. Okay. It's gonna be reading Rainbow. You going to jail. Like Target. Do the same shit like y', all. If you stealing from Target.
Kimia Benpornia
Careful.
Lacey Mosley
Don't do that.
Kimia Benpornia
Don't do that.
Lacey Mosley
But if you do, don't hit the same spot more than once or twice. Because I think it's $2,500.
Kimia Benpornia
I thought it was a thousand.
Lacey Mosley
What is. What's the number you gotta hit before they'll march your ass out of there? And you know what's fucked up, too, that they like to do with, like the loss prevention is They'll. They'll get your ass on a Friday. Like, they try to wait till you come in on a Friday. So if you go to on a.
Kimia Benpornia
Friday, oh, you're over. You're overnighted, you're over weekended.
Lacey Mosley
Dang, you gotta avoid those Friday bookings. How do you feel about this scam? How do you feel about Owen?
Kimia Benpornia
I don't know. I went in with hate. And I'm just sort of bummed. Cause it is sort of like, did.
Lacey Mosley
It raise up from hate to like, more love?
Kimia Benpornia
And I guess I got more empathy. But that was always gonna happen. We go through their whole story. I mean, I don't think that divorce is real trauma, but I do think that it's like a guy who was just beefy and good at sports and then left with no other resources.
Lacey Mosley
He needed an excuse to do crime. He was. But you know what, though I will say he did have trauma, though, because he had to live. He was roommates with A stranger in a bunk bed.
Kimia Benpornia
He had to get kidding.
Lacey Mosley
Sleeping with a Wilson volleyball, that's giving trauma.
Kimia Benpornia
That's true.
Lacey Mosley
That's not just like, oh, we have to live in separate houses. And like, we tried to parent trap them. No, this is like, he's like, cuddling up to a Wilson Ball at night.
Kimia Benpornia
It's such a bummer, because if the market hadn't crashed, he could have just done real estate for into infinity. Huh? No, he tried to always done this. Huh?
Lacey Mosley
Oh, so we got it up here. The felony thresholds, they're different for different states. So In Wisconsin, it's 2500. Damn. Okay, Wisconsin, y' all got it popping out there. Florida is 750, which shocks me.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
And Cali. What is it? 950. Okay, that's not bad, Cali. We giving good wages. We're giving good wages. Florida don't want to pay nobody. That's why they 750. But Wisconsin. What y' all talking about?
Kimia Benpornia
It did Texas and Wisconsin. So at least you get go back home.
Lacey Mosley
Everything takes.
Kimia Benpornia
You see what you're in Texas.
Lacey Mosley
See what I can do. Target sponsor the show.
Kimia Benpornia
After this.
Lacey Mosley
Wait, we're not supposed to shop there, right? Oh, right. We're not supposed to shop there, guys.
Kimia Benpornia
No, just steal from there.
Lacey Mosley
Just sponsor the show, though, you know, I'm not gonna buy stuff from there. You give me money.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, that's right. Reparations to you from Target.
Lacey Mosley
That's what they do every holiday day.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, dang. Oh, yeah.
Lacey Mosley
I don't know if we're gonna get it anymore, though. They're like, all right, you deis, we're done with you too, then. We're not doing black people February anymore.
Kimia Benpornia
Dang.
Lacey Mosley
So now he pleaded guilty, Owen. To racketeering, conspiracy, and conspiracy to distribute drugs, and was sentenced to 21 years in prison, plus a lifetime supervised release. So even when he got out of jail, they said, you keep doing so much crime that we will surveil you forever.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
Cuz he did do what he had the. The booking.
Kimia Benpornia
The cartel guy.
Lacey Mosley
The cartel? The. The money smuggling. Yeah, the money laundering. The USC fake doctor.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
Booty Roy smuggler.
Kimia Benpornia
That was private. That was just kind of just for him, you know? I don't think that's on the record.
Lacey Mosley
That was for funsies. That was just for him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And his car. You said his cartel. And baba. So he is a serial criminal. Like, they need to keep him up in the jail. So he was also ordered to pay back $5 million, which included $100,000 in gold and silver coins. A Porsche Panorama, two Range Rovers, luxury watches, homes in Costa Rica, Peru, Cabo San Lucas, and a sailboat. He was living good.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, he was.
Lacey Mosley
He was released from federal prison in 2024, serving less than seven years of his 21 year sentence. Who he snitch on?
Kimia Benpornia
Dang.
Lacey Mosley
Sometimes if you get out of jail too early, the cartel be like, who you talking to? Because you need to be in the jail.
Kimia Benpornia
He might get caught soon.
Lacey Mosley
So the motion for his sentence reduction was filed under a seal. All we know is that there were extraordinary and compelling reasons. He done gave up where the money's at. Oh, he done gave something up. Told him he better watch out for that car. That cartel, man. Yeah.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, geez.
Lacey Mosley
So Owen is now 43 and on parole. He earns $500 every two weeks selling the iced protein bars he first learned to make in prison mop buckets. Oh, now you got out of prison and started making that jail talk food. Come on.
Kimia Benpornia
I love jail talk.
Lacey Mosley
They're so creative.
Kimia Benpornia
But, yeah. Ice protein. What's in it?
Lacey Mosley
Isn't that just like a creamsicle?
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah, but I want to know what's in it.
Lacey Mosley
But calling it ice protein is really doing something.
Kaitlin Coleman
Something for me.
Lacey Mosley
That's great branding. And look, he's got, like, a hot lady with it, like, right? So if you want to stay skinny, but have a ice cream at the beach. Ice protein, huh?
Kimia Benpornia
Protein I could stuff always taste bad, though.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, but if you starve yourself from sugar for long enough, it spins the block and tastes kind of good.
Kimia Benpornia
I don't think so. I don't think so. $500 every two weeks. That's not awesome.
Lacey Mosley
No. He's struggling now. But you know what? When he had the life, he's had that life. So he at least got to enjoy it for many, many years. You know what I mean? Like into his, like, 30s. So he. He had enough rich.
Kimia Benpornia
That's fine. Yeah, yeah.
Lacey Mosley
It's kind of like the reverse. Like rags to riches.
Kimia Benpornia
He's riches to rags.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah.
Kimia Benpornia
Okay.
Lacey Mosley
He went riches to rags. We kind of went rags to riches to rags.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah. I think that one kind of hurts more.
Kimia Benpornia
It does.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, it does.
Kimia Benpornia
Yeah.
Lacey Mosley
Because if it was always rags, you never knew about the riches for referrals.
Kimia Benpornia
Totally.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah. Yeah.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, well.
Lacey Mosley
So California ice protein frozen bar on a stick. Include flavors such as strawberry swole cake and coliseum cookies and cream.
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, USC pride.
Lacey Mosley
Pride.
Kimia Benpornia
USC pride so much.
Lacey Mosley
USC pride.
Kimia Benpornia
Coliseum.
Lacey Mosley
Look, he got his little paleta truck out there. I'm not mad at it. It's very much influenced by Mexican culture. Like, that is the Paleta, man. Yeah, it is the protein Paleta man. I love it.
Kimia Benpornia
Well, Owen, is he in California? Can we go see this guy? Is he, like, walking down Venice?
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, look that. It does look like he's in Venice.
Kimia Benpornia
He is. Okay.
Lacey Mosley
I might have to go see him and meet up and chat. I want to.
Kimia Benpornia
What are you gonna do? What are you gonna say to this guy?
Lacey Mosley
I don't know. I'll just be doing anything.
Kimia Benpornia
I know that.
Lacey Mosley
Be careful. Oh, my goodness. Well, Owen, you gave me a great time. You were a very busy man. You work very hard in crime. I wish we could get you a job like in crime, where you could just. Well, not in crime, but, like, legal. But what? I don't know. But, like, high paying and, like, where he works.
Kimia Benpornia
It's okay. He's probably really happy with these protein ices.
Lacey Mosley
He does look very fucking happy. He does. He looks like the kind of guy who would talk your head off. Like, he talks to strangers. He gives everyone directions.
Kimia Benpornia
You know what? What if we see him on Shark Tank, like, next season?
Lacey Mosley
Oh, my God.
Kimia Benpornia
With these protein ices. He's on his way. He's got a documentary.
Lacey Mosley
He's gonna be there and he's got a great story.
Kimia Benpornia
He does. I can't wait. He's gonna be like, I made these in prison. And now on Venice Beach.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, you're right. You just manifested something for him.
Kimia Benpornia
I did.
Lacey Mosley
Look at that. Yeah. Yeah. You go. You go, o dog.
Kimia Benpornia
You go, o dog.
Lacey Mosley
Oh, dog. Okay, the last one sounds like you, like, fell and heard something. You're like, ow.
Kimia Benpornia
Sorry.
Lacey Mosley
No, I loved it. Like, oh, my back. Camille, we always ask at the end of the show, where would you like to be found?
Kimia Benpornia
Oh, you can find me on Instagram, Ray. Oh, I love. That's kind of it.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, the best kind of it. Yeah, you're the best. I would get in the sewer for you.
Kimia Benpornia
Hey. Hell yeah.
Lacey Mosley
I feel like it'd be really fun down there.
Kimia Benpornia
In my sewers?
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, in your sewer.
Kimia Benpornia
It's gross, but it's fun.
Lacey Mosley
But it's fun. As always, y'.
Announcer
All.
Lacey Mosley
You can see all of these. You really gotta see these photos on the Instagram scam. Got his pod on Instagram. And if you want to follow me. D I V A L A C I D V Lacey on all platforms and congregation, y' all better pull up to these damn tour dates. Y' all demanded these cities and I better see X asses in seeds. The Scam Goddess live tour starts in the spring and that pre sale code is Goddess. So get into it. Y' all can get my book anywhere. Books are sold. Watch Going Dutch right now on Hulu. The first two seasons, get into it. It's very fun. The second season is my favorite. We're having a fucking great time.
Kimia Benpornia
Can't wait to watch.
Lacey Mosley
Yeah, it's. It's so fun. And then watch Scam Goddess on Hulu. I don't know. Keep running that up. Why not? And congregation. I want y' all to the get of out there and stay. Oh, Dogging Scam Goddess. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Moseley, AKA Scam Goddess. Our producer is Jessica Cisneros and our audio engineer is Rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by Karen Kate Doyle. Stay scheming. We've been trying to conceive for a while, but my cycles are so irregular. My doctor doesn't listen, period. App doesn't help. We missed way too many chances and I'm not guessing my way through 2026. So I got Mira. Mira tracks four key hormones with the same tech fertility labs use, but from home, it found my ovulation in minutes. Now I get clarity every morning and I intend to keep it that. And hey, for a very limited time, you can get an exclusive 25% off using code NEWYEAR25@miracare.com hi, I'm Kaitlin Coleman.
Kaitlin Coleman
Winner of Target's HBCU Design Challenge. This challenge moved me closer to my dream of becoming a fashion designer. Through mentorship and support, you can find my design, along with creations from other black founders in Target's Black History Month collection.
Release Date: February 3, 2026
Host: Laci Mosley
Guest: Kimia Behpoornia
This episode dives into the true story of Owen “O Dog” Hansen, a USC football walk-on who wound up laundering money and running drugs for one of Mexico’s most powerful cartels. Laci Mosley and returning guest Kimia Behpoornia unpack Hansen’s path from being a beach volleyball prodigy crashing on a bunkbed, USC athlete, the team’s “unofficial doctor,” to international drug runner, money launderer, and ultimately a federal convict-turned-protein-bar vendor. As usual, their hilarious, incisive banter explores the absurdities, vulnerabilities, and cultural forces that propel even unremarkable jocks into the heart of global crime networks.
[04:26]
[07:31]
[14:04]
[15:20]
[21:03; 26:52]
[34:39]
[36:08]
[43:24]
[45:00–51:51]
[52:32–58:00]
[58:01–59:29]
On scam culture:
“Creativity is being commodified in such a way that everyone wants to participate in, everyone wants to go viral...if you don't have any creative instincts...then you get on AI.” — Laci [05:57]
On technological solutions nobody wants:
“What if we replaced everything you love with a machine and then you do the stuff that you hate?” — Laci [11:27]
On trauma hierarchies:
“There are trauma Olympics...mom trumps grandma...cat does not trump people.” — Laci / Kimia [18:24–18:47]
On the evolution of a scammer:
“He needed an excuse to do crime...he was roommates with a stranger in a bunk bed. Sleeping with a Wilson volleyball, that's giving trauma.” — Laci [54:44–54:59]
On laundering dirty money:
“Laundering never makes sense to me, so I'm so confused on this part. But that's okay.” — Kimia [50:50]
On post-prison hustle:
“Now you got out of prison and started making that jail talk food!...Calling it ice protein is really doing something.” — Laci [58:18, 58:28]
Hilarious, quick-witted, sometimes savage but always rooted in compassion for “victims” and perpetrators alike. Laci and Kimia maintain a comedic but incisive analysis of modern scams, cultural privilege, and criminal Darwinism. The banter is deeply irreverent but never cynical—anchored by the sense that “true con” is as much about the systems that scaffold grifting as about the grifters themselves.
Stay schemin', congregation!