The Curious Case of Benja-Scam Button w/ Josh Brekhus (Fraud Friday)

Summary

---

Scam Goddess Podcast: The Curious Case of Benja-Scam Button w/ Josh Brekhus (Fraud Friday)

Release Date: April 10, 2026
Host: Laci Mosley
Guest: Josh Brekhus

---

Episode Overview

This riotous episode of Scam Goddess includes fan-favorite guest and improv partner Josh Brekhus joining Laci for another edition of "Fraud Fridays," wherein classic episodes are revived from behind the paywall for all to enjoy. The conversation orbits around personal histories with scams, hilarious retail tales, listener letters exposing layered cons, a deep-dive into one of history’s wildest impersonators, and a chess cheating controversy that shook the internet. Throughout, Laci and Josh serve up improv-style banter, sharp social commentary, and a whole lot of laughter focused on the weird, wild, and ingenious world of scams.

---

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Warm-Up: Scammy Jobs & Improv (01:01 - 16:51)

• Laci and Josh quickly settle into comedic rapport, with Laci introducing Josh as fellow improv artist and comedy scene stalwart.

• They unpack the reputation of improv ("Improv gets roasted... it's a scam. They're hating on us." - Laci, 02:38) and poke fun at their “cult” devotion to the form.

• Josh’s Scamming Evolution:

  • Raised with strict Lutheran values, he once saw scams as "the devil's work" (03:42), but after working for Enterprise Rent-A-Car, his perspective shifted.
  • Retail Scams Revealed:
    • The pressure to push unnecessary rental insurance and GPS was rampant, especially onto vulnerable customers (elderly or accident victims) (04:08 - 10:19).
    • Shady tactics included omitting existing car damages so customers could be dinged later. Josh shares:

      "My manager... was like, you can just put a scuff on there. So when they come back, we can kind of ding them for it." (07:20)

    • Laci's advice: “Take a video when they're marking the scuffs... so you have proof it wasn't there yet.” (07:38)
  • They commiserate over the grind of commission-less up-selling, comparing the work culture to an MLM for cars (11:49).

• Other Odd Scamming Venues:

  • Laci recounts working unwittingly for a drug front bar adjacent to a porn shop, underscoring how businesses can be fronts for something more nefarious (13:04 - 15:41).
  • Josh describes the “Bladder Busters” bar promotion—penny beers until someone breaks the bathroom seal, which led to bathroom brawls (15:41-16:51).

---

2. Listener Letter: The Layered Lemonade Stand Scam (18:27 - 31:39)

Timestamp: 18:27 – 31:39

• Letter from "Susan":

  • An 11-year-old boy with a fancy lemonade stand gets passed a fake $100 bill, gives $85 in real change, and is left scammed.
  • His family then sets up a GoFundMe — not just for the missing $85, but for $250. Ultimately, the campaign goes viral and nets $23,000.

• Laci’s Take:

  • On part one: “If your kid wants to get into business, you're raising a scammer.” (20:16)
  • On the GoFundMe: “I feel like 250 ain't crazy. If this was truly a child in need... but... it's giving a rich family trying to teach work ethic.” (21:24)
  • Noticing the racial optics: “...Of course the man is black... they're trying to be like, these negroes robbed our sweet baby White boy Y. This is why our lives matter...” (26:10)
  • On virality: “GoFundMe just says GoFundMe. They don't say you gotta gofund my medical bills or hardship... If you got some bullshit, put it on GoFundMe and people want to throw you a coin.” (28:14)

• Josh: “$23,000 is... what does an unemployed baby need $23,000 for?” (27:41)

• Notable Laughs:

  • Dissecting the kid’s “rich” haircut,
  • Critiquing the over-the-top, Wayfair-esque lemonade stand décor,
  • Laci: "Honestly, though, a lemonade stand like this, I'm not buying from it. It's too nice. I need to see the struggle." (31:06)

---

3. Historic Hoodwink: The Tale of ‘The Chameleon’ aka Frédéric Bourdin (33:01 - 67:40)

Timestamp: 33:01 – 67:40

• Overview:

  • Laci guides Josh through the outrageous career of Frédéric Bourdin, aka “The Chameleon of Nantes,” a French serial imposter who assumed nearly 500 identities across Europe and the US, most often impersonating abused or orphaned children—sometimes even successfully duping families and authorities.

• Key Beats:

  • Origins: Bourdin’s childhood was marked by instability and abandonment, prompting him to invent wild stories about his identity from a young age (47:38).
  • Methodology:
    • He’d present as runaways, amnesiacs, or abuse victims, using made-up names like "Francisco Hernandez Fernandez" (35:41, 41:02), often wearing hats to disguise a receding hairline passed off as “burn” scars.
    • He even convinced a doctor he was a 14-year-old (44:24)!
  • Infamous Acts:
    • At 23, he steals the identity of a missing American boy, Nicholas Barclay, ultimately moving in with Barclay’s family and interacting with a PI and media (54:52-65:39).
    • Hair color, accent, and physical features eventually expose him.
    • During arrest, the ruse falls: "She's not my mother. You know it." (64:40)
  • Motive: Emotional satisfaction, not financial gain. As one prosecutor notes:

    "Usually people con for money. His profits seem to have been purely emotional." (47:02)

• Memorable Moments & Quotes:

  • Laci, on his names: "Hernandez Fernandez... Dr Seuss? You got your shit from the rhyming dictionary?" (41:13)
  • Josh on youthful looks: "I've had physicals, how do you do that?" (44:28)
  • Laugh-out-loud at the police discovering his receding hairline: "He said, I gotta wear this cap because of my fire scars. And literally, it was because this nigga was balding." (42:41)

• Finale:

  • Bourdin, after prison, settles down, has five children. Laci:

    "...He just wanted to hang out and go to school and look, I think as an adult, if I went to school, I would appreciate it more. No bills. Rent paid." (67:16)

---

4. Scammer of the Week: Booty Beads & Chess Cheating (68:44 - 78:45)

Timestamp: 68:44 – 78:45

• The Controversy:

  • 19-year-old chess grandmaster Hans Niemann is accused of cheating using vibrating anal beads which—allegedly—were wirelessly connected to a chess supercomputer, providing him signals for the best moves.

• Breakdown & Jokes:

  • Laci: “You don't just have that kind of concentration if something ain't in your booty. That's a toilet face.” (69:13)
  • Josh: "He looks like... if my prostate was getting basically massaged during this, you would know." (76:34)
  • Laci on security: "They're checking your hands, we're patting you down... but they can't check your booty hole." (74:39)

• Broader Reflections:

  • Josh: “It's the most creative thing I've ever heard about in sport.” (77:46)
  • Tangent into other possible uses: frat boys using "booty Morse code" to pass multiple choice exams and the hypothetical “Booty Scantrons” (78:15).
  • Laci: “How they gonna check you, boo? What they gonna do, check a booty hole at the chess competition? They’re not gonna do that.” (78:45)

---

Notable Quotes & Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• “If you go to Hertz, you better make that car hurt on the way back.”
  — Laci Mosley (05:35)
• “I was flirting with old women. Like, you can handle it. You handled all this lifetime. You can handle it.”
  — Josh Brekhus (07:01)
• “The manager...was like, 'You can just put a scuff on there... so we can kind of ding them for it.'”
  — Josh Brekhus (07:20)
• “Any kid that’s like, ‘I need some income’—You’re raising a scammer.”
  — Laci (20:16)
• “Honestly, though, a lemonade stand like this, I’m not buying from it. It’s too nice. I need to see the struggle behind the lemonade.”
  — Laci on the fancy setup (31:06)
• “He said, I gotta wear this cap because of my fire scars. And literally, it was because this nigga was balding.”
  — Laci (42:41)
• “Her booty was buzzing every time I hit the ball.”
  — Laci, riffing on hypothetical sports cheating (77:23)

---

Quick Reference: Important Topics & Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------|:--------------:| | Scammy jobs, Enterprise, Improv banter | 01:01–16:51 | | Listener Lemonade Stand GoFundMe scam | 18:27–31:39 | | "Historic Hoodwink": Frédéric Bourdin | 33:01–67:40 | | Scammer of the Week: Chess/Booty Beads | 68:44–78:45 |

---

Final Thoughts & Tone

Throughout, the episode is spirited, fast-paced, and improvisational, with both hosts gleefully exposing the ridiculousness of scams—from petty retail gouges to international impersonations and bizarre cheating tech in board games. The humor is irreverent, with expert asides on race, culture, and “the game” of scam artistry, all while inviting the audience to laugh at both the scammers and the scammed.

As always: Stay schemin’!

Transcript

[Sponsor Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by 20th Century Studios. The Devil Wears Prada 2 only in theaters May 1st. 20 years after the generation defining classic, Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt and Stanley Tucci return to the heeled streets of New York and the halls of Runway magazine in its next chapter. The industry has changed. Scandal dominates, and power always comes at a price. Don't miss the Devil Wears Prada too. Only in theaters May 1st. Get tickets now.

[Sponsor Announcer 2]

Now is your time to get into a new Dr. Horton home by taking advantage of its national red tag sales event going on right now through Sunday, May 3rd. Stop by any of its participating communities and find select red tag homes at incredible pricing. So whether you're buying your first home or looking for an upgrade, you don't want to miss the red tag sales event going on right now. Discover the Dr. Horton difference. Tap your screen now or visit Dr. Horton.com Dr. Horton, America's builder and equal housing opportunity builder.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

What's poppin Congregation? It's ya girl, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. Welcome to an episode of Fraud Fridays where we release older episodes from the Scam Goddess vault. That's right, Fraud Fridays is where we bring back your favorite episodes from behind the Paywall. Enjoy this episode from behind the Paywall. And as always, stay scheming Scams cause Robbery and Frau Scam Ca. Robbery and fraud. Scam Goddess. What's poppin Congregation? It's your girl, Lacy Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. And we're back with another installment of Scam Goddess, the podcast all about robbery, fraud. Those who practice it. Sometimes we love them, sometimes we hate them. And you already know. Come on. Parasocial relationship. Give it to me. I'm very. Yes. Excited. I truly am. We got a homie on the show today and I'm so happy that he's here. We have an amazing actor. He's a writer. He's a comedian, honey. He be writing movies. And he is my homie. We do improv together. We've done improv together for years. He will be performing in Leroy's first show back to UCB along with myself in Los Angeles. If you're in LA, pull the fuck up. October 19th at 7pm we're gonna do some make em ups for ya. Congregation, Please welcome Josh Breakus to the show. Thanks, Josh.

[Josh Breckus]

Thank you so much. What's going on? It's gonna be a good show. I don't know why you led it that way.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Did I say it in a bad way? I thought I said it it was cute.

[Josh Breckus]

We're good. We're practicing. We're gonna be good.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

No, we're literally practicing this week. If you don't know what UCB shows. Well, the ones that we do, we do heralds, which are like long form improv. And I know what you're thinking out there. Improv gets roasted in television all the time. It's just because all them people who became writers was mad that they never got on that improv team. And so then they write it into their TV show. It's a scam. They hating on us. Okay.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

But, yeah, we do make em ups and there' and people learn the form and, you know, it's my favorite cult.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, it's my favorite cult I've ever been in.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So, yeah, listen, they put the Kool Aid. I was like, what flavor is it?

[Josh Breckus]

Doesn't matter.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Doesn't matter.

[Josh Breckus]

It doesn't matter. I'm drinking it.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Truly doesn't matter. I'm drinking it. Oh, man. Josh, I'm happy to have you here. I do have to ask you a probing question. The question we always ask our guests on the show is, what's your relationship with scams? Do you love them? Do you hate them? Have you ever been scammed if you remember a story? Or have you done a scam if it's outside of the statute of limitations?

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, I think it's a. Okay. It's evolving. How about that?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Ooh, I love that. Okay.

[Josh Breckus]

Cause as a boy, I was like a little Lutheran boy. Right?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Okay.

[Josh Breckus]

Never did anything wrong. So scams was like the devil's work, Right? You know what I mean? Like, it was just like, oh, you don't.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

The devil's work.

[Josh Breckus]

You know what I mean? It's like, you work hard, you do what you do your job, and then, like, you get rewarded for it.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Okay, so bamboozling was for Beelzebub, Right? Right. And only him. Him alone. Okay.

[Josh Breckus]

And then I went to college. One of the biggest scams out there. And then my first job was Enterprise Rent a Car.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Okay, so then you worked for a scam.

[Josh Breckus]

I was scamming people left and right. I was selling them insurance with these baby blue eyes and this charisma. When I was like, you don't need this stuff. And then I opened my eyes, and then I was like, you do have the baby blues. Thank you.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You do have the baby blues popping. But what I will say is that the insurance at rental car places, I have gotten into an accident with a rental car, and I put it on my insurance and it was a bad idea.

[Josh Breckus]

You just have to pay the deductible, right?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, but my insurance, like, I've talked about this on the show, and I'll never tell y' all where I'm at right now because it's extremely ghetto. But I got dropped from Allstate. They said I was in good hands. No more.

[Josh Breckus]

When was that?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

That was this year, actually. No, no, it was last year. It was last year or maybe the year before. Yeah, it was in 2020. It was in 2020.

[Josh Breckus]

The spiel is like, you go like this. Like, what is your insurance? Yeah, you go like, oh, State Farm. It's like, look, what's your deductible? Like, 250, $500.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, but then you got it on your record. If you do a rental car and you get the $35 a day, then I can run that bitch into a wall.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, but that's. But what you're saying is, like, basically, why don't you just pay this, like, 59.99 a day, and then you can. Yeah, you can run this thing in a wall. It can be on fire. It doesn't matter. It won't touch. It won't even touch the deductible.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Honestly, if you get the insurance from the rental car company, you should just run that bitch into a wall right before you return it. Like, when you pull up to the Enterprise, like, hit us several curves.

[Josh Breckus]

Someone did that, and we were like, oh, shit. Like, what do we do? And they're like, well, we'll call her boss. But technically, they got the insurance.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Get your money's worth. If you go to Hertz, you better make that car hurt on the way back. Go ahead and scrape that bitch. Okay. Key it. Key it. Why not? Yeah, it's not your fault.

[Josh Breckus]

So after that, my eyes were open, and I'm like, oh, you know what? I'd rather be a scammer than a scammy. And I'd rather scam the man.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah.

[Josh Breckus]

So then I flip sides. I went to the. The good side, not the dark side of scamming. That's what we're.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

We're the good side of scamming. But wait, you have to tell me. So you were selling them insurance, but was there anything else that was like, a little sus. Like, that you would, like, that they would ask you to, like, push. Do they have, like, a air freshener add on or, like. No.

[Josh Breckus]

Well, okay, first of all, they would have you push, like, the GPS.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Okay.

[Josh Breckus]

And, like, this was, like. This was like, 10 years, a little

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

earlier, I was about to say. Cause GPS is now on our phone.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah. But it was still, like, starting to be on our phone and was like, okay, I'm coming.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Cause Waze tells me to drive through people's backyards all the time. Do you want to save two minutes? Yeah, pull up on that curb, take a left, drive on the sidewalk.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So you would. So you would tell them, like, oh, if you don't have the gps, and obviously if you're renting a car, you're probably not in the city that you live in.

[Josh Breckus]

Right. This is. Okay, this is in Scottsdale, Arizona. This is like hospice Scottsdale. Yeah. This is where, like, old people go to die. Like, this is like, I'm pushing this on, like, old women, and I feel

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

terrible natural over here being a little. A little gigolo for enterprise. And I was just like, hey, sweet thang, I gotta see your idea. Make sure you're.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, I was flirting with old women. And, like, I don't know if I can use the gps. I'm like, you can handle it. You handled all this lifetime. You can handle it.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You could take that gps. You could take it.

[Josh Breckus]

Oh, they would make you. So, you know, like, they have marks on the car. Like, you go around and you, like, mark up. Like, oh, there's this.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It was a scratch. It's like, it's not your fault. Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Breckus]

And like, my manager. I don't care. He sucked. His name was Ravi. He was like, you can just put a scuff on there. And, like, so when they come back, like, we can kind of ding them for it.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It's. It's.

[Josh Breckus]

It's shady.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Oh, my God. They put scuffs on the pictures. Yo, Josh is giving us a tea right now. If you are renting a car, one, if you are a bad driver like myself, get the insurance. That way it's not going to be on your permanent insurance record. Two, take a video when they're marking the scuffs and the shit so that you have a full video of the car. Walk around that bitch real slow so that if they try to do a little scuff add, you know, you. You have proof that it wasn't there yet.

[Josh Breckus]

And get that video and get it on the person.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, put them in the video.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yes.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Okay. Oh, my goodness. So they would be like, put a little scuff here or something. Or don't put the scuff. That was already there, basically.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So miss some scuffs so that when you come back Though you can be like, oh, I didn't have this scuff on the, on the card.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, yeah, it's, it's. I, I didn't, I honestly didn't do that. I like sold insurance to this couple, like this family that I upgraded them to a convertible that they didn't need. And I was like, what am I doing? And they were like, our car just got broken down. And you could tell both of the parents worked, they were just trying to make ends meet. And I sold them the triple insurance. And by the way, they would click that clipboard three times when you come in the office and everyone would celebrate,

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

which is like, oh no, ringing the bell. We got another one. Got him. Ring the bell.

[Josh Breckus]

Yes. And so my soul would leave and it would be like, clack, clack, clack. And I did it.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

That's why they had the bell. They was like, we gotta make people feel good about being awful. Like, ring the bell. Don't you feel good? Now wait, I have a question. So the family that you gave one, I think a little top down for a hard working family could be a good vibe. Okay? That's right, you know, let that Scottsdale air hit your pores. But the family, how did you get them to get the more expensive car? And triple insurance? Please explain triple insurance. So I need you to explain the triple insurance and also how you got them to get the car. Cause if they're working hard and they don't got coins, why won't they just get the cheapest option?

[Josh Breckus]

Well, I mean, it was because I was like, you need more room. Because I saw the kids, they wanted to get like a compact. Like I think at the time it was like a Chevy Cobalt.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

How many kids they have, like John and Kate plus three or four, eight, nine.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, three or four.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Oh, that's hella kids.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah. And I was like, you know, it looks like you've had a tough day because everyone's coming from an accident or going to the airport. That's what Enterprise is. That's why they're all everywhere. They're by collision centers and they're by the airport. Yeah. Because you're picking people up on their worst day.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Damn.

[Josh Breckus]

People are pissed. And you can just tap into that emotion and you can be like, man, man, yeah, they really fucked you, huh? Man, they hit you on that and that blind laugh.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

This is some ambulance chasers. Yeah, they like. Yeah, we stay by this freeway because it's a hella accident. Yes, just come right over. Just walk over here.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, yeah, we'll get over, jump the

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

off ramp and come near brush.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Oh, my God. That's crazy. So you come in and you were empathetic with them and being like, damn, I'm so sad that this happened to you. Okay?

[Josh Breckus]

And this is fucked up. And it was a week, okay? So we had this weekend deal, okay, where, like, it's half off if you get it on Friday, but you have to return it on Sunday, which we're not open,

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

but you have to.

[Josh Breckus]

But you.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Wait, wait. So you gonna be like, okay, we got a deal, but you gotta return on Sunday. Also, we are closed on Sunday, so good luck with that.

[Josh Breckus]

There's a key return. There's a key return, okay? But, like, basically it's gotta be returned on Sunday, and then you better call on Monday and make sure the keys are there.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

This is very Nathan for you.

[Josh Breckus]

It's bad.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It's like, what if we had a deal, but then we made people climb a mountain to put the keys up?

[Josh Breckus]

I worked here three months because I was like, I can't do this. Plus, they stuck me in the airport. That's a whole nother episode. And I was just like, I can't do this anymore. So I got them into the weekend special for half off. And he needed it for, like, four or five days, so it was gonna go back to full price. He's gonna be paying, like, 40 bucks extra after Sunday.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

But did he at least get the half off for the. So that was a nice deal. It's not a good deal if you're only getting in the car for the weekend.

[Josh Breckus]

But I, like, I needed a shower at lunch. I was like, I just, like, you got an hour lunch? And I was like, I just want to. I'd sleep in my car. I'd, like, go home and just be like, this is terrible. And at the time, we're making $11 an hour.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Do you get commission for tricking people?

[Josh Breckus]

No. No. You want to see?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It's just the bell.

[Josh Breckus]

You get the rapid. Rapid upward mobility, Whatever. Like, you're, like, you're grinding to be the assistant manager so you can get 50k, and then you're grinding to be the, like, branch manager so you get 70k. It's a scam. Wow.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

An MLM for cars.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And, like, when the pandemic hit, they started just selling them.

[Josh Breckus]

Did they?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah. So rental car companies started running out of inventory because it was all just sitting because people weren't traveling as much. So they started just selling the cars. Because sometimes, like, if you want a good deal On a car. Like, you can go to a, like, rental car places will sometimes sell the cars after, you know, so many mileage or whatever. Yeah, I mean, look, Joshua, I got out, though. I. Look, you did better than me because I am an assimilator. Like, if. And this is something I had to learn about myself. If I am in any environment, I'm always going to try to find a way to survive and also be the strongest.

[Josh Breckus]

You would have crushed that job.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I would have been over you better than me. When you weren't marking them cars up, I would have been like, oh, yeah, bitch. I just gotta. I'mma miss this little ding on the side. I'mma miss this one too.

[Josh Breckus]

Come back.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I'm like, sorry, we gotta garnish your wages. Cause you fucked this car. Let me ring the bell. I be ringing the bell all goddamn day. They'd be so sick of me.

[Josh Breckus]

Is she the manager? Like, no, she just started here like two weeks ago and she's already running it.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

No, I be rapping beats over ringing the bell. Like, got another bitch get another whip beat they ass, stole they cash. They be like, what is wrong with her?

[Josh Breckus]

In front of the customers too. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

We just signed the paperwork. Gadda ink's dry, ho. Let me go ring this bell.

[Josh Breckus]

Get out of here too.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Ooh. I would have been worse. That's why I try to stay out of. Listen, I used to work for a drug front. I've said it on this podcast before. At the time, I didn't really know it was a drug. I mean, I pieced it together, you know, eventually. I mean, honestly, the shooting that we were in before I started working there should have probably had alert in me, but that's a big one. Yeah, I went for party promo and I was like, oh, they shooting at the club? Absolutely not. And then I was like, I'll work at your bar and people will come over and be like, hey, we need cash from the register. And it would be like, the owner's son and shit. And they'd be like, oh. I'll be like, okay. I give him the cash and I write a little note in the register. Like, your son took 60 doll or whatever. Just put it in the register. I got paid directly out of the register under the table. All of the people who came there were just like, the most unsavory people you've ever met in your life. And we were right across the street from like. Do you know, some places still had. At least when I was in college, the Porn stores.

[Josh Breckus]

You mean like adult shops?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, but it was like you go in the back and you could put some quarters in and see like a lady rubbing oil on her titties or something.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We did that drunk in San Francisco one time, and we didn't know what we were going to into, and we put a quarter in. I'm like, oh, what?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, you were in San Francisco. They was rubbing oil. Something else.

[Josh Breckus]

We went to a porn shop in high school and it was too much. We were just like, oh, this is. We don't need. We're not. Like, we haven't graduated to this level of like.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, I'm glad. Now you can just Google porn because it just feels very weird to like, get in your car and your destination is porn. You gotta put in your gps. We on our way to porn. That just feels.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I don't ever want to be so into porn that I need to go buy box set, you know, that just feels like a lot.

[Josh Breckus]

Just like the old guys, like walking around like, oh, right.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Cause everybody in the porn store is. I'm sorry. Look, I don't kink shame. We don't shame. You know, get it how you live. But I had never seen somebody come in or out of a porn store or come over to the bar after the porn store and been like, oh, that guy. Stand up guy.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think part of the kink is going into the store, I think for

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

sure, because it's so, so much. It's so explicit. But they would come over. We had $2 draft beers during the day. $2 at Pitt. This was at the bar that I worked at. Yes. And so it would be like Coors, like, just pissed. Just like, you know, whatever. Except for if Coors sponsors the show. That's the most delicious beer. They don't right now, though, so it is pissed. But if they sponsor y', all go hear me like, mm, mm. Bitch Leather Rocky. Course. Yeah. I feel like I'm on the mountain. Give em the peppermint Patty Spiel. No, but that's how I should have known because we didn't have enough foot traffic to like, keep that place open. It was for sure a money laundering situation.

[Josh Breckus]

I worked at a bar like that. There's this bar, Arizona State, so fill in the blank. But we. This bar, it was called the Dash, and it was called Bladder Busters. I think I've told you this, but Bladder Busters. Yeah, it was a Tuesday night just to get people, like, in the bar. It was penny Beers all night. Unless someone went to the bathroom. And so they taped up the bathroom and if someone broke that seal, the drinks were went back to like what, two bucks?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And so they were encouraging people to pee on the street.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, peeing like the bar. Like people were peeing behind tv. It was disgusting. And like if someone broke that seal, there would be fights. People would beat that person up. It was bad.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Not you needing to relieve your bladder if somebody is waiting outside to pummel you.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, it'd be someone that didn't go to the school that just was like I gotta go to the bathroom and would walk and break the thing. And people would just like lose their shit.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

See, this is what capitalism does to us. Not you beating somebody's ass. Cause they done fucked up in a penny.

[Josh Breckus]

Go the bathroom.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, y' all know what we gotta do now? We gotta jump em soon as they open the door.

[Josh Breckus]

Then the rules.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, we gotta jump em them the rules also. Like if they fucked it up, they fucked it up already. Why can't you just be like hey man, you fucked it up for all of us. Like why you gotta beat em up? They gotta learn a hard lesson.

[Josh Breckus]

I think so.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Wowzers Scout.

[Sponsor Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by 20th Century Studios. The Devil Wears Prada 2 only in theaters May 1st. 20 years after the generation defining classic Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt and Stanley Tucci return to the heeled streets of New York and the halls of Runway magazine. In its next chapter, the industry has changed. Scandal dominates. And power always comes at a price. Don't miss the Devil Wears Prada too. Only in theaters May 1st. Get tickets now.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You're more than just one thing. You're the boss. Hey, Google, what time is my meeting with Tim today? The athlete that class wrecks me. The ringleader. And we're good. And always their mom. Everyone in the all new Mazda CX5 more to move every side of you. Learn [e-mail] Google is a trademark of Google LLC. Sequences shortened and simulated. I'm Kiana and I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know, and it thinks about the customer more than anything. Every day I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it to me because it's so easy to use. It's like I can't stop. I'm addicted.

[Josh Breckus]

Start your free trial at Shopify. Dot com.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And we are back and it's time for what's hot and fraud. This is where we warn you about popping scams in the zyka or, you know, these days we read a listener letter from you guys. As always, snitch on your friends, your family, and your [e-mail]. just make sure the scam is retired because we don't wanna. What? Yes. Fuck up your bag. Amen. So I need a fake name for this person. Josh. We don't care about gender.

[Josh Breckus]

Susan.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So Susan says hi. Scam goddess. Accolades to follow at the end of the email. Okay, Susan, you are real when you listen to the podcast on this show. I don't like to read nice things like that people say about me. Not that I don't want to hear them. It just feels weird to like, be like, lacy, you are the best. And so like, I'm not gonna waste y' all time like that. But I do love to read them. So please put them at the end. I want to see what's going on in your life. Okay, so here we go. Susan says, what we have here is a scam with layers. Okay, two, but still. Okay, you better sell it, Susan. An 11 year old boy set up a lemonade stand. When one man paid for his lemonade with a hundred dollar bill. This is wild on its own, but the man asked for exact change. The boy only had $85, so that is what he gave him. When the boy went to spend the hundred dollars at the gas station, he found out it was a fake. Now, whoa, I'm gonna pause there just for a second, Susan, because what kind of grownup are you? Look, kids are unemployed and they're freeloading. So honestly, I guess it's probably better to rob kids than adults, you know what I mean? Like, the kid guy don't have to worry. The kid don't have to worry about food.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, it's not his money.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, it's not his money. I feel like honestly, rob kids. I don't, you know, I'm okay with it. I think that's where the phrase taking candy from a baby came from. If you take the baby's candy, the baby will be fine. I don't know. I thought I was gonna chastise this adult and then I started thinking about it and I was like, nah, the baby will be fine if the baby got enough ingenuity to set up a lemonade stand. And I've said this repeatedly on the show, if your kid wants to get into Business. You raising a scammer. Okay. Any kid that's like, I need some income. Yeah.

[Josh Breckus]

At like seven. At seven. It's like, go play. And also it had $85.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah. Why you got $85 and change already, child?

[Josh Breckus]

That's some Brentwood shit. That's like. That's like. They're fine.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

They're fine.

[Josh Breckus]

I never started a business.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Right. It's giving like rich family. But we trying to teach our kids work ethic.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, yeah, sure.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It's like you're gonna get an inheritance, but we want you to know.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

How to use it.

[Josh Breckus]

You're gonna. Well, you're gonna be working for daddy or mommy at our real estate job. But we want you to feel like you've worked.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Right. It's giving. What is her name from industry? Yasmin. It's giving. Yasmin from industry. And if you haven't watched industry, this is not an ad. But like, get into it. It's so fucking good. It's like, what if Euphoria and secession and Gossip Girl had a baby and it was sexy and they just be. Be fucking and fighting and trying to stay alive and scheme and it's so good.

[Josh Breckus]

That's where I think sometimes, not to make this about genders, but I think that's where women and men sometimes differ. Like, oh, they have sex and stuff on cable tv. It's like, guys are like, we just watch porn.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

That's not true. Because Game of Thrones is the horniest soap opera I've ever fucking seen. And that's what it is. It's a soap opera for men. I'm saying it here. I'm saying it now. And so is House of the Dragons. Yes. I added an S. That's all soap operas that men feel like they can get into because it's a lot of gore and it's titties and then it's war.

[Josh Breckus]

Not me.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It's a soap. You're watching Days of Our Lives, but they're wearing like olden time costumes and doing what I call the white people Wakanda. So, you know, in like Black Panther, like they have. We all speak like Black Panther. Like, this is the Wakanda voice. This is not an accent in Africa. This is something that we made up. And then when you go to like the olden times shows, it'd be like, the law is. Everything is happening. And here we are marching on the town. It's like, with the accent, what is the goddess? What is that?

[Josh Breckus]

And we all do it. We just pick it Up.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah. It's like we just gotta. It gives. Olden timey. You know, it gives. But so, yes, it's giving, Yasmin from industry. And if you don't know that, go watch industry. I play a woman named Harper on icarly. There is a black woman who plays Harper on this show. And honestly, she ate my Harper up. I gotta go like, she ate me up. I'm not the best Harper on tv. That woman is. She's fire. She's amazing. I stan her. So anyway, back to this little boy and why he got $85. And he just got SC with a fake hundred dollar bill. So the real scam came. Wait a minute, Susan. We thought we already saw the scam.

[Josh Breckus]

There's layers.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

She said layers.

[Josh Breckus]

Two.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Only two. But she said layers. It's not quite giving tiramisu, but we got two layers. Like banana pudding. We got the cookie on top and then we got the pudding up.

[Josh Breckus]

We don't know anything about desserts. You know, it's the banana.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah. And then the actually banana pudding. Be having a layer of banana.

[Josh Breckus]

Sometimes it's like a vanilla cake.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I don't do that. I don't like the taste of banana, but I like the flavor. Is that weird?

[Josh Breckus]

I don't understand that.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I don't want to eat a banana. But if it's banana flavored, I'll fuck with it.

[Josh Breckus]

Because it's foul?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

No, because it's got bad texture.

[Josh Breckus]

It's weird. And then you take the skin off of it. Which is weird too.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, it's just. And it's not good. Why are we lying about bananas? They fucking nasty.

[Josh Breckus]

Big potassium.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I know when I used to run Trek, I would buy them greens so that they were harder and I would eat them. Cause I was getting charley horses every other night, so. But I hate them bitches. Anyway, this is gonna be a tangential one. Josh and I are friends. You guys know how this goes. When the friends are here, we're gonna meander. But we're getting back. Back to Susan. So Susan says the real scam came when this boy's family set up a GoFundMe to recuperate the money he lost to the scam. Technically, he was only out of $85, but they had the Caucasity to set the goal for $250. Okay. Pain is suffering. Pain is suffering. I don't. I feel like 250 ain't crazy. If this was truly a child in need, that would be one thing. But I must say, the kid looks like a Little asshole whose helicopter mode set this up. Set up this very fancy lemonade stand that she probably bought at Wayfair. Ooh, got you reading the whole family. Hey, I woke up a little baby asshole. Let's look at him. Do he look like an asshole? Oh, damn. I wish I could post this to the Instagram. I'm so sorry, I'm gonna have to deprive you guys of this because I don't post people's hair. He has the haircut without consent.

[Josh Breckus]

He has the haircut that they try to give me. Like they try to give me.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It's like the Richard Spencer. Like if you a starter pack, it's

[Josh Breckus]

an alright adjacent haircut.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, he definitely gonna be on 4chan.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, yeah, he looks rich. That haircut's a rich haircut, right?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Cause it's like it's too style. It definitely wasn't done with a bowl.

[Josh Breckus]

No, if he had a mullet, which I had, then you know where we

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

get more creep like, yeah, we should give this kid money. And look at. Wait, look at the lemonade stand. First of all, lemonade stands back in the day used to just be a table and a handwritten sign. This is a lemonade. I will crop the kid out and I'll show y' all the lemonade stand. The lemonade stand, first of all. Is that glass? You have to eliminating a glass picture?

[Josh Breckus]

Well, Covid, maybe.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

What's. What was glass?

[Josh Breckus]

Oh, in the picture. I thought you meant there was like a glass shield. I can't see it.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Oh, no, no, no, no. They didn't set up for Covid. But also like, can we zoom in on this photo? Because I need to get a clearer view. So the lemonade stand is decorated. It's got a chalkboard on the front that says lemonade. And how much they charging for this Damn lemonade? Lemonade? 50 cents. Oh, that's endearing. It's. It's what it's like back to the 50s, you know, a time that only people who are old and white thought was good because it wasn't good for anybody else. So. Yeah, this is a lot. And the mom really decorated this.

[Josh Breckus]

I think they paid someone to do that. That looks like a starter.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Dude, who's got a garage in the back?

[Josh Breckus]

Brick. Brick exterior.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Also, how do you have a video? They got a video of this man handing this kid the hundred dollar bill. And of course the man is black and the other man next to him is in a hoodie. So they trying to be like, oh, these negroes robbed our sweet baby White boy Y. This is why our lives matter and why we gotta make America great again. You can't even sell 50 cent lemonade without the Negroes, man.

[Josh Breckus]

If you're gonna give us 250, why don't we raise it to $500 for a little more pain and suffering, Bro,

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

it's about to get wilder. So 250 was their goal, right? But they got this picture of these menacing niggas and their fake money, and

[Josh Breckus]

I can't even see them.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And the sweet baby boy with the Richard Spencer haircut and why they got one is in a hoodie. They got him looking. They gotta look.

[Josh Breckus]

Looks like Adam Sandler.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Hella suspicious. And part of me wonders like, bro, did they give you a fake hundred or did you make this shit up? And here's why I'm gonna say this, because I'm gonna keep reading. So the worst part of it all is that the GoFundMe raised a whole $23,000. I already know this child is going to be the most entitled man, and I am not here for it. We Stan the scammer who got his $85, but also hate that it led to a kid getting $23,000 for doing absolutely nothing.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, I need $23,000 right now. I got a car payment to.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

We all need $23,000.

[Josh Breckus]

What's the lesson there?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

What does an unemployed baby need $23,000 for?

[Josh Breckus]

What are they gonna do?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He like a medium baby. He not quite a whole infant. He's giving eight.

[Josh Breckus]

And you're not showing the picture right? Because I don't think that child's gonna go college.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I mean, look, they got a two car garage. He probably gonna get into an institution.

[Josh Breckus]

That's true.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You know what I'm saying? But 23 grand is excessive. And I mean, I get it. It went viral. And that's the thing about GoFundMe. Like, there used to be GoFundMes. I remember one that popped off was a girl who wanted to go to All Star Weekend, but she couldn't afford, like the flight and the hotel and stuff. And she was a baddie. And so people gave her thousands of dollars to go to All Star Weekend. And I was like, yeah, why not? She's being honest. Like GoFundMe just says GoFundMe. They don't say, you gotta gofund my or my medical bills or my hardship, which honestly, those obviously get the most traction. But if you got some bullshit, then you put it on gofundme and people want to throw you A coin. I'm not mad at that.

[Josh Breckus]

I don't want to say the person. I don't think we even know them. But I know someone that broke their leg and tried to raise $20,000. I think they got like two grand. So that's where I'm like, e. I

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

mean, did they sell the broken leg story?

[Josh Breckus]

No, they had a broken leg.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Nah. These days you got to stand out on GoFundMe. You got to do a TikTok dance with your broken leg. You need several videos and photos of you in the hospital holding to Day's newspaper. Like, you really got to give the girls a story.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, that's true.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And then they're like, oh, okay, we'll give you our money because this is fun. But I mean, I'm not against crowdfunding, and honestly, it wasn't a scam. And also, doesn't GoFundMe take a cut?

[Josh Breckus]

I know, but like, yeah, it does. I don't know how much it takes.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So maybe that's why they upped it to 250, so they can make sure they got the.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, okay, that makes more sense.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

But then it went viral because they were like, look at these menacing Negroes stole from a little white child. Isn't that all that's happening in America these days is just menacing Negroes stealing from white people? So, you know, they. It was. I fuck. I fuck with it.

[Josh Breckus]

You're pro. Whatever happened here.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I am not pro it, but scam wise on its own. Not a bad scam.

[Josh Breckus]

Oh, it's an amazing scam.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah.

[Josh Breckus]

Like, I'm thinking about, you know, seeing if I can do something about it. I don't think people really care if I get, you know, short chance.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I mean, you don't know, just have me in the background, like, as taking the photo as the medicine negro giving you the $100 bill. And they'll be like, yes, burn her. She's a witch. And you'll get all the money. Let's do it. You want $23,000? Let's work on it.

[Josh Breckus]

Did they give any of it to charity?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

No.

[Josh Breckus]

Okay, well, I would have.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And oh, the Instagram caption on this, it says an 11 year old boy selling lemonade was scammed after being given $100. Before finding out that the cash was fake, the scammer purchased a glass of lemonade from Jeremy with a fake $100 bill and requested that the boy give him exact change. Jeremy could only give. It's basically everything we know. So they're just putting it out there. And then, like, they did a pit collage of the. This gorgeous lemonade stand that says, you don't need a lemonade stand because it's way too fancy. And then also the menacing black people and then the little white boy with the Richard Spencer starter pack.

[Josh Breckus]

Lemonade stand looked like it went under an HDTV renovation.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It looks like she even moved that bus.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, yeah. Someone's like, they separated it.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I put my lemonade sand. Oh, my God. This is so much better than the table we had before. Like, it look like it's real wood. Yeah.

[Josh Breckus]

My sister.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It's decorated. There's decor. They have a princess sign. Like, did y' all go to Kinko's? Like, I remember my sister tried to

[Josh Breckus]

do this and she just put, like, a blanket on a table with, like, a jug of lemonade that just looked like she was selling piss or something. And like, she spilled it right away. And then she was like, I'm done with this. Like, and this is just like the most elaborate.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

That was her attempt to scam.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, that's my sister in a nutshell. She's like, merp.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

All right, I'm good. Honestly, though, a lemonade stand like this, I'm not buying from it. It's too nice. I need to see the struggle behind the lemonade. I need to see that you were squeezing it yourself. The lemonade too yellow. So it's giving store bought.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. And I want the lemonade. Like, the lemonade sign to be misspelled.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah.

[Josh Breckus]

Maybe like a backwards E. Like, ah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, like, we're trying to help you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's. It's a no for me on the lemonade stand. Not the scam.

[Josh Breckus]

I'm also just not buying products from children.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Hell no.

[Josh Breckus]

No.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Kids are dirty, okay? You know, that's all they do. They breathe on each other and lick each other and collect snails and rolly poles. You know, they're of the earth.

[Josh Breckus]

You sound 100 years old, but yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You know how kids do. You know their pet rocks. I know kids. That's what they're doing these days.

[Josh Breckus]

Crisscross applesauce. You know what they're doing.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

We know what they up to. Robbery. When it's time to scale your business, it's time for shopify. Get everything you need to grow the way you want. Like all the way. Stack more sales with the best converting checkout on the planet. Track your cha chings from every channel right in one spot and turn real time reporting into big time opportunities. Take your business to a whole new level. Switch to Shopify. Start your free trial today. Adobe Acrobat, your new foundation.

[Josh Breckus]

Use PDF spaces to generate a presentation.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Grab your docs, your permits, your moves

[Josh Breckus]

AI levels of your pitch gets it in a groove.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Choose a template with your timeless cool.

[Josh Breckus]

Come on now let's flex those tone draft design delivery make it sing. AI builds the deck so you can build that thing.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Do that, do that, do that with Acrobat.

[Josh Breckus]

Learn [e-mail] do that with Acrobat.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Oh, no, my coffee.

[Josh Breckus]

Brawny here new brawny 3 ply is now more absorbent.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Wow. Got a clean shirt.

[Josh Breckus]

Do you wear plaid? Summon the strongest.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And we are back. And it's time for historic hoodwinks. This is where I will regale Josh with a famous con caper group of criminals. We'll see if we like them. We'll see if we hate them. I'm gonna note up top, most of the research comes directly from David Gran's the New Yorker article, the Chameleon. So just if y' all want to get even deeper into this, check out David Grant stuff. He's a writer. He wrote for the New Yorker. We always. It'll be in the footnotes, guys, on any platform that you're looking at, so you can just click on the link there. We give the credit here. We're scamming the writers. So historic Hoodwink, one of the most infamous imposters in the world, pretended to be other people, not for money or material exploitation, but because he wanted a loving home with a family. Oh, that's sweet.

[Josh Breckus]

It's a movie.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

The Chameleon of nonce. To some, Peter Pan, not his Peter Pan to others. What? He went by Peter Pan. Everybody was just like, yeah, that's fine. That's a name people have. Like, bro, he wasn't.

[Josh Breckus]

He went by Peter Pan.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He was known as Nonce to some and Peter Pan to others.

[Josh Breckus]

Okay.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I mean, if you got scammed by Peter Pan, then I'm already on his side, but we'll see if we stay that way. So the serial imposter took on almost 500 identities over the course of his scamming career. That's a long career. You gotta put you in the hall of fame.

[Josh Breckus]

Put him on snl.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Listen, when you die, we putting you in the scam in memoriam because what a great. So wait, why put him on SNL?

[Josh Breckus]

He can do 500 characters.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

That's true. That's true. You get it spicy. You right. He missed his calling. Lauren, Lauren, call Peter Pan because He's got the characters.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, people get on with three characters. He's got 500.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So on May 3, 2005, a scared, shivering teenage boy, unknown age, arrived at a government child welfare office near Western Pyrenees of France. Pyrenees. Say more French, more Pyrenees. So this lonely, this small government child, he shows up and put on these funds. He had no money and no possessions beyond an ID and a cell phone. And we got a picture of him right here. It's not giving, I guess. Teenager, this Peter Pan. I think this is Peter Pan.

[Josh Breckus]

Did they just like photoshop him to that river?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I feel like he might be at that river.

[Josh Breckus]

I don't know.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He's giving me like the fit isn't giving. Like destitute gray jawline.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, I wish I had that jawline.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So far we're on your side, Peter Pan. So his ID said his name was Francisco Hernandez Fernandez. Alright. So much rhyming. Not Francisco Hernandez Fernandez. Don't sound real. And that he was born on December 13, 1989 in Espana. In Spain. He said he was in a car accident that left him in a coma for several weeks and his parents and brother dead. When he woke up, he was sent to live with an abusive uncle and eventually ran away to France. Francisco wore long sleeves, long pants and hats to cover the scars and burns that he received in the accident. Eventually, he made friends with another boy, Raphael, and auditioned for the school talent show. During the auditions, Francisco reportedly performed an uncanny lip sync dance to Michael Jackson's Unbreakable. His music teacher recalled, he didn't just look like Michael Jackson, he was Michael Jackson.

[Josh Breckus]

Whoa. He became him.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So Francisco soon became one of the most popular kids in school and was well loved by his peers. However, an ill timed television program soon brought his life to a halt. Damn, already the life getting halted.

[Josh Breckus]

This is reading like a fairytale.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So one month after Francisco walked into the government building a lost orphan, an administrator at his school reported that she had just seen a program about one of the world's most infamous serial imposters, Frederick Bourdin. Excuse me, Bourdon. A 30 year old Frenchman who impersonated children. Now wait a damn minute. All right, we're not on your side no more. That was quick. I was real quick.

[Josh Breckus]

We had to jump ship, drag the boarding.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I don't know her. I don't know her. Tinkerbell, maybe Peter Pan. I don't know her. What? What? You are impersonating children for love? Look, we don't know yet. I mean preface in the beginning, but I don't know. So you at school making friends with youth.

[Josh Breckus]

And how old is he?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

20, 30 year old.

[Josh Breckus]

Okay. Who's buying that?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I mean, we saw the photo, we thought he was a teenager.

[Josh Breckus]

Oh, so he's going. He's not like, I'm in like first. He's not doing like Happy Gilmore. He's not like, I'm in first grade.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

No, he's not going to the third grade and being like, I'm a third grader.

[Josh Breckus]

Okay. Okay.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Read math and arithmetic.

[Josh Breckus]

No.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, he's going for, like, high school. We're in Hollywood. Most actors that you've seen in television up until recently were like 30 year olds playing high school students. Like Paul Walker when he was in that. Whatever teen movie he was in. Was it she's all that?

[Josh Breckus]

He was in one of those or

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

she's the one or she's something mean to women. And then a bet in prom. One of those. Yeah, one of those. Makeover a bit in prom movies. He was in it. He fully had a child at the time.

[Josh Breckus]

Oh, yeah. The cast of Friends was supposed to be 20 year olds. They were all like pushing 40, right?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And it's like that sets up crazy expectations for when you go to high school. If I saw this 30 year old in high school, I probably wouldn't have thought nothing of it because I thought everybody in high school was gonna have chest hair. And I thought they was gonna have connecting beards. And I was so disappointed when I came and I was like, y' all are bird chested and bare faced. Why are not adult men? Why are the women not wearing hair? I wore heels. And then I was. I really thought I was supposed to wear heels in high school. I wore heels all the time. And then I was like, nobody.

[Josh Breckus]

Didn't you have like a rolling bag too? So it always looks like you're rolling?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So I was coming from the airport.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, you was coming from the airport. It's like, who's this young professional?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Listen. But that back good. Okay. Check the birthday brace, sis. Y' all get y' all L7s replaced. But a hoe got a good back. What's up? And good knees because I rolled my backpack everywhere. Yeah, people made fun of me about it. I don't care. Cause the back, I'm doing the Tina Belcher. This back is.

[Josh Breckus]

I used to rub oil on my chest thinking hair would come out of it. So the men were trying. Okay, the men were trying. What kind of oil?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Please don't say canola.

[Josh Breckus]

No, I mean vegetable oil. I didn't know I didn't know what I was doing. I was just trying stuff.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Now we're stimulating the chest hair.

[Josh Breckus]

He's just shoveling his chest hair.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I do love a hairy chest, though. It's very 70s.

[Josh Breckus]

I got it now. But yeah, one dude in our high school had it. Patrick.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Patrick. Now, do you remember his name that fast? Not everybody being jealous. Yeah. We went to the locker room to shower, which. Oh, my God, the locker rooms children are so nasty. Those locker rooms smell so fucking bad. Nasty. I was like, y', all, we just did gym wash your ass. Oh, my God. There was a girl in my locker room. I'm not gonna say her name or anything near it. Cause, you know, she's an adult. She's a nice lady, but she used to, like, we would have track practice. And then she had that. I cannot forget the smell. She had that Victoria's Secret body splash. And instead of washing her ass, she would put body splash all over. And I was. This is no, like, now it's just sweet funk. I feel like I was smelling a dead body. It was.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Horrible.

[Josh Breckus]

It's like gutter rose. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And we gotta. We gotta teach the kids how to do laundry, child. Cause whew. It was bad. So this teacher, I was gonna call the teacher a hater, but the teacher's not a hater because obviously this is a 30 year old at school. And she was like, wait a minute. I saw this 30 year old on the news. Like, what's going on? So she concluded this is what the teacher. I swear to God, Borden. Looks exactly like Francisco Hernandez Fernandez. Which, if you're gonna make a fake name. Hernandez Fernandez.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, yeah, it sounds cool, but it sounds so fake.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It sounds so. Make em up. What? Like, sir, so. And I'm.

[Josh Breckus]

My name's Josh Breckes. Hecis. It's like, what are you doing?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I'm listening mostly folks. What is this, Dr. Seuss? You got your shit from the rhyming dictionary? Why would you do this? And honestly, if somebody said Hernandez Fernandez was faking a child, the name alone, I'm gonna be like, well, you know, I was always cool about Fernandez. Fernandez. So the principal called the police. Damn, y' all couldn't even take him into the office. And like, Francisco Hernandez Fernandez, we need you in the office.

[Josh Breckus]

They skip so many steps.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

They skipped so many steps. And we're immediately like the authorities.

[Josh Breckus]

Authorities handle it.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And so when they arrived, they immediately slammed Francisco against the wall and put him in handcuffs. See, police, we don't need all of that. Okay. Yeah, he's a weirdo. He shouldn't have been around the children, like, for sure. Get him out of there. Arrest him. Do you need to slam him up against the lockers? Does he need to have, like, the locker dial code impressed in his cheek? Like, I don't. I feel. It feels aggressive. Feels excessive.

[Josh Breckus]

Well, most cops are bullies from high school, so they're just regaining the role.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Who are these students who are just like, this is my time.

[Josh Breckus]

This is my time.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So the principal called the police. The police roughed him up, put him in handcuffs. Right. Any doubt that he was not, in fact, an orphaned child was erased when his baseball cap fell off to reveal not scars, but a receding hairline. He said, I gotta wear this cap because of my fire scars. And literally, it was because this nigga was balding.

[Josh Breckus]

See, the thing was, you ain't never

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

seen a balding 13 year old.

[Josh Breckus]

The fire hit. The fire skipped over my face and onto my front hairline.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And it also made several grays. Yeah, y' all ain't seen a premature gray and balding 13 year old. That's y'. All. That's discrimination.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah. Have you ever heard of a Hernandez Fernandez? No, Obviously, I'm not making that up.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I'm Hernandez Fernandez, the bald, graying 13 year old. What? So in an adult voice, Francisco, I want a lawyer. So I guess Francisco was like, talking to me, like, yeah, man, it's me, Francisco. I love Michael Jackson and I'm a kid. And then the police post showed up. He was like, hey, my guy, I want a lawyer. And I need to tap in my 401k to pay him. Like, who are you?

[Josh Breckus]

I know my rights, Right?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Who is this girl? Me. With this. The Barry White jumped out. Okay? So he was brought to police headquarters. While there, he admitted that he was Frederic Baudin, or Baudin. Excuse me. And that he held dozens of identities over the past 15 years. Now, why are you giving up extra shit they just tells you about impersonating as one school child, I'm not gonna get in there and be like, okay, so there's more.

[Josh Breckus]

No, no, you have to stand your ground. You have to say, that's all I'm giving you.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Right? Yeah. I pretended to be a child at this school and nobody noticed that I was parking in the teacher parking lot.

[Josh Breckus]

Every day, people skipped over Hernandez Fernandez. All right? They skipped over that part, which I thought was the most inventive part of this whole scheme. No one talks about that. Yeah, yeah. No one talks about how creative that was. That's what he's hungry. No one talks about that.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yo. So he did this over dozens of countries. What was known and consistent is that he had almost always played one character, that of an abused abandoned child. He was so skilled at becoming whoever he wanted. He had convinced a doctor who examined him the previous year that he was indeed a 14 year old French boy.

[Josh Breckus]

I'm trying to think. I've had physicals, how you do that? I don't.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I mean shave stuff. He did look young. I don't know if he looked 14. Can we pull that photo of Fernandez Hernandez back up? We need to analyze. It was giving child to me.

[Josh Breckus]

You gotta. Yeah, he looks. He honestly looks like he could be in high school.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He looks very gauned. So like. But here he has a full head of hair. So he must have been latent on the skin. Well, I guess maybe the hairline is like running away from eyebrows.

[Josh Breckus]

It's running away.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, the hairline kinda little bit of a. The hairline about to have a start line at the nape of the neck. Yeah, the hairline is running, running, sprinting away from the eyebrows.

[Josh Breckus]

How do you fake that?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

How do you fake you wear a hat every day? He was like, I gotta cover up my burns from abuse.

[Josh Breckus]

At the doctor's appointment, you just go like sex I've never heard of. What do I even do? Where do I put it? The doctor's like, he's 14. Just like a really pro doctor. He's 14.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Just cause you a doctor don't mean you a good doctor. Hey, you be letting people get through medical school.

[Josh Breckus]

I wouldn't push vitamins on me. He was trying to push his own vitamins on me and pay like 59.99 to buy vitamins.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Oh, my dentist put me on some heart vitamins. And it's heart vitamins. He said cancer patients take it or something. I started taking them. He gave me the first bottle free.

[Josh Breckus]

Just like fish oils. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And I was like, this is my dentist. But you know what? Whatever, man. I'm gonna eat these. Yeah, yeah. It's gonna be good for my heart. Okay, cool. It's gonna cure the cancer I don't have yet. Listen, if you live long enough. So I'm just gonna eat these, I'm gonna eat them, whatever. So he has done like so many identities over the past 15 years through a dozen countries. So we know. And it was consistent that he always played this one character and that a doctor prepubescent. The principal said of Francisco before he Left. Of course he lied, but what an actor. I love that. You better give him his flowers. He was like, okay, yeah, he fooled us, but he was very good at fooling.

[Josh Breckus]

Tip the cap. Yeah. Damn, you were good, Francisco.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You could have been the next Leonardo DiCaprio.

[Josh Breckus]

I was just thinking, catch me if you can. I was like, hey, we got you.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

But, bro, you should have been acting. Acting is a scam that I willingly participated in. And you should have got involved, Francisco, because if you got these kind of skills and people are praising you, and honestly, the principal is gonna PR because he has to be like, how did y' all like? Otherwise people gonna look at the school and be like, how did y' all let this grown ass nigga in here and let him hang out with the children? So they have to be like, he's the best actor.

[Josh Breckus]

Meryl could never, never put that on your resume. What's my special skills? I can dupe doctors into thinking I'm 14.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, that's a special skill. That's talent right there.

[Josh Breckus]

That's talent.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Talent's jumping out. The prosecutor on his case said, in my 22 years on the job, I've never seen a case like it. Usually people con for money. His profits seem to have been purely emotional. But Frederic's own story may have been the basis for the fictional traumas he'd replay over the years. So who is the chameleon? The chameleon from Nantes, as was tattooed on his right forearm, was born Frederic Pierre Bourdon in Paris on June 13, 1974. His mother was Ghislaine, which that name has now been soiled. I feel like we ain't never gonna see another Ghislaine.

[Josh Breckus]

I never heard of Ghislaine.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Ghislaine Maxwell.

[Josh Breckus]

Oh, right. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It's like, ain't nobody gonna name their baby Ghislaine no more. So they can be involved in sex crimes. Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Breckus]

No, someone will take the name.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So Ghislaine Bourdin, a poor 18 year old, had not told his father, an Algerian factory worker, that she was pregnant. So she got pregnant. She didn't say nothing to the baby daddy. Ghislaine raised Federick until he was two and a half, after which he rehomed, like, by Child Services with her parents. So Child Services came and picked him up after two years, two and a half years. And. And then they let him go to basically his grandparents. When he was 5, he moved to a small village where he became the village outcast. Not the village outcast.

[Josh Breckus]

Okay.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I Guess it's a village. They gotta hate somebody.

[Josh Breckus]

These people are proactive. They're like. They just jump. It's like, hey, you. No, you're the village outcast.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I mean, pickens are slim. To ostracize somebody, you gotta have a village outcast.

[Josh Breckus]

We have rules here. You're the outcast.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

We gotta have somebody to hate on. Only 50 people live here. Issue my guy. So sorry. In school, he told stories about himself to explain his being fatherlessness and foreign looking. Okay, so this village is not giving PoC. Yeah, he said that his father was never around because he was a British secret agent. As he grew older, his stories became wilder and increasingly misbehaved. He stole from neighbors and acted out in class to the point where at 12, he was sent to live at a private facility. And we have a private facility photo of this for juvenile in nonce. So he was sent to this castle looking house. Definitely looked like Miss Trunchbull up in there. And they got a pokey. Yeah, it's giving. They got a pokey.

[Josh Breckus]

You know, looks like you gotta climb bushes just to get to the door. Unless I'm missing an injury away that I don't see.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah. Cause the bushes are wrapped around. Okay. Judith is highlighting a stair in the corner. Okay.

[Josh Breckus]

But they didn't let him take those stairs.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

No, they had to climb the bushes because they're juveniles. His story grew bigger still. Frederick pretended to be an amnesiac and intentionally got lost in the streets. His. So after he turned 16 in 1990, Frederick ran away when he was made to move into yet another home. Okay, he's 16. He's like, I'm sick of these homes. You know, that shit can be so shady. Like the foster care system in every country is just a weird shady thing. Yeah, there's a lot of bad actors involved.

[Josh Breckus]

And I like his origin story so far. I'm gonna say him.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You might want us back, Federico. So he hit. I don't know though. Cause why was you hanging out with kids?

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, the kid part.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

The kid part bothering me. I hope you ain't had no other girlfriend through high school. Yeah, that's what's bothering me.

[Josh Breckus]

Or even if you were like leaning

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

one on boyfriend, like. Nah.

[Josh Breckus]

If you leading someone on.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, nah. And you were popular. What does that mean? You was going to high school parties, you was hanging out with kids. Yeah. No, you weird. So after he turned 16, he ran away. He hitchhiked to Paris, a scared, essentially orphaned teenager. Thus his first character was born. So the first time he did it. He was 16 and he was like, oh, yes, the girls are living for me. Started young, he approached a police officer and told him that he was a lost British team named Jimmy Stone. These names, these names, Federico, it's just like that's his. It's giving Mrs. Doubt. Fired.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

That's like I'm sitting here like, my name is Lacey. Computer, microphone.

[Josh Breckus]

Wait, wait, what?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

No. So Frederick remembers, I dreamed they would send me to England, where I always imagined a life more beautiful. But he had discovered his formula and began perfecting his technique. Hitchhiking across Europe looking for the perfect shelter. He'd repeat the game over and over, often volunteering his true identity when police or caretakers came close to discovering the truth before moving on. So when they were like, you, bro, your hairline receded.

[Josh Breckus]

It's always the hairline. Damn it.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Okay, I'm Frederico.

[Josh Breckus]

I'm Federico. Okay, fine, yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I feel like they come in to kiss him goodnight and they're like, why does Frederico always have that hat on when he goes to bed?

[Josh Breckus]

I don't know, it's like a comfort thing. We don't know where he came from.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

We don't know where he came from. He's got burns.

[Josh Breckus]

He's got burns. Burns that we haven't seen ever. He keeps talking about how a doctor has approved that he's 14.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He keeps showing everyone the doctor's note that says that he's 14, which I'm like, that's a weird thing for a 14 year old to do, but just let him live?

[Josh Breckus]

I don't know.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So on June 13, 1992, after he posed as more than a dozen fictional children, Frederick turned 18. As Frederick assumed more and more elaborate identities to conceal his age, he tried to kill off one of his real one as he was now an adult posing as a teenager. So one day, the mayor of the town he grew up in received a call from German police that his body had been found in Munich. So he tried to kill off his real identity. Yeah, he called his hometown was like, hello, it is me, German. I found body of Frederico. He's definitely dead and definitely 14. Yeah, actually you don't need the last part. He's just definitely dead.

[Josh Breckus]

He's deaf. He's gone.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I'm dead.

[Josh Breckus]

I'm dead.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Sir. Okay, look, you gotta cover your tracks. She was like, I gotta be a kid for much longer.

[Josh Breckus]

This is Miss Doubtfire on speed. You say 12 characters in this town,

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

you can settle into one character, Federico. Especially Jimmy Sale.

[Josh Breckus]

Well, Jimmy Sale I feel like Jimmy Sale sells cars.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Hernandez, Fernando.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

We were struggling, so his family waited for a coffin, but it never arrived. By the mid-90s, Frederick had accumulated a reputation and a criminal record by France. So now they're like, frederick is out here doing crime. He was even invited onto the French television show Everything Is Possible to tell his story. He garnered so much sympathy with his tale, just wanting to love and a home, that the producers of the show offered him a job in the newsroom, but he ran off.

[Josh Breckus]

Why? Whoa.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So you could have been legit?

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And you were like, nah, nah. I like lying.

[Josh Breckus]

No. Yeah, no, no.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I don't want to tell them a job you do. So I got to come to work every day.

[Josh Breckus]

Job. I have 10 jobs. I have 10 personalities.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

My job is lying to people who clothe and feed me for free. What do you mean? I haven't fully employed right now.

[Josh Breckus]

What are you talking about? Gym, groceries.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I work at the grocery store, you know, Tommy Spatula.

[Josh Breckus]

Yes.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

With my family, who are cooks, you know, like what? So Frederick becomes an American child. In October 1997, Frederick, now 23, was in the middle of a gig when he was told by a child welfare judge in Spain that he had 24 hours to prove that he was a teenager. I love a judge having to be like, all right, you gotta prove to us that you a teenager, Mr. Sir.

[Josh Breckus]

Again, how? But how?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

How they gonna check your bones?

[Josh Breckus]

All right, here's my journal entry. It's like that. That's pretty angsty. Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Here's my TikTok account. Look how many dances I'm doing.

[Josh Breckus]

Look at all these dances.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I'm definitely a teenager.

[Josh Breckus]

I'm literally sinking.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

If he could not, she'd take his fingerprints, which would match the file he already had with Interpol, and he'd be subsequently facing prison as an adult. So she was like, I don't understand why they were like, look, we either gonna check your fingerprints, or you can prove that you're a child. I just feel like we should just jump to check the fingerprints.

[Josh Breckus]

Well, I mean, prove your child's more fun for them.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Maybe it's like a longer process.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Y' all are wasting taxpayers money.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Announcer 2]

Yeah.

[Josh Breckus]

It's like an America's Got Talent, but prove you're a child.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Prove you're a child. He comes in with a binky and a diaper. What are we doing? Just run his fingerprints, bitch. The so faced with this choice and unable to run away, instead of creating a new identity, this time, he stole one. Of course, he called the national center for Missing and Exploited Children in Alexandria, Virginia to look for a real identity and found Nicholas Barclay, who had been reported missing in San Antonio on June 13, 1994 at the age of 13 and roughly matched his physical description. This is so fucked up because also like, if you're gonna claim the identity of a missing child, look at the missing child. They have similar jawlines, not you going through and finding a similar jaw. And the child was missing young. So this is one of those aged up things that we talk about that he would be now 35. And you know, they use them age up machines that they're like. And honestly, has that technology ever been tested? Have we recovered a missing child and then been like, look at they aged up photo. Don't they look exactly like what we did? It's a made up job or are age up people scamming?

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, it's a made up American job. It's like, I also think the people that draw, like what are the cause.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Also it feels like they, they always be like, I don't want to say something fucked up. Let me just phrase this in the right way. It feels like whenever they do the age up, they never make them like savory. Yeah. They never make them not attractive. They never like. I don't want to describe things that make people unattractive because I don't want to hit. I don't hit.

[Josh Breckus]

Y' all always make them like all American.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

But they don't. Yeah, they do.

[Josh Breckus]

Look at that Adam's apple.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

They always make them like they would immediately be cast on the cw. Yeah, look at that Adam's apple. Like as soon as we find this missing child, they are going to be in a Marvel movie. Abs out. You know, like what?

[Josh Breckus]

Because they want us to find them.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And if they not sexy, they're not sexy.

[Josh Breckus]

We're not finding these kids. We're not finding these kids. We're not finding these kids.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Oh, no. If they not a hottie, we ain't looking. Hottie.

[Josh Breckus]

It's America.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Oh no, you right. That's why they do it. They trying to give them, you know what? Shout out to y' all age up illustrators trying to scam the American public. Cuz you're right. We ain't looking for no kids who ain't cute and we definitely ain't looking for no adults who ugly.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Like they stay where they at. Abducted. No. Oh gosh, that's definitely it.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And if you've been missing since you were 13 and you're age that's at 35. Oh, baby, that's.

[Josh Breckus]

That's such a good scheme.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

After 72 hours, it's looking bleak. If you're missing, like, oh, my mom would hold up.

[Josh Breckus]

See, that's why I don't like this. Cause my mom would be like, she would hold on. Oh, yeah, yeah. She'd be looking through riverbeds. She'd be like, he's still out here. He has to be.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He has to.

[Josh Breckus]

It's my whole life revolves around. Around this.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Damn. That's Shout out to your mom.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, I know. Yeah. Hey.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Cause maybe that's why I shouldn't have children. Because I feel like I would be pragmatic. I'd be like, damn, I can't believe I lost one. Cause that's embarrassing.

[Josh Breckus]

Time to make another one.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

But I'd be like, shit. I mean, how could we can call off the, like.

[Josh Breckus]

Ma', am, it's been 40 hours.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, that's how long they said we was going to look.

[Josh Breckus]

Do I have to catch a flight?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Y' all give me an empty casket from Costco Chair. You know, don't even spend the money on. We just gonna get some flowers from the Walgreens and we gonna have a vigil. Y' all got candles? We can get candles at Walgreens, too. That's so fucked if you got a missing child out there. I'm joking. Like, keep looking for your kids. Sometimes they be turning up. But in this amount of time frame, he was probably making a safe bet that, like, he could assume this identity and never be challenged. It's a good scam, but also, you're insane to call the center for National Missing Children and be like, who? Y' all gotta let me see the list. Cause I think I saw one. And then he just looks for his doppelganger. He's like, yeah, I saw that one. It's me, actually.

[Josh Breckus]

That's a cocky villain.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Nathaniel Barclay. Yeah, that's me. Do I have a middle name? What's my social. I don't know that. Because they had snatched me, and they didn't bring the Social Security card, so I don't know.

[Josh Breckus]

My information. Is there a middle name? Don't worry, I'll make one up. Nicholas Barkale. Smarculay. He's just like, I don't need it. I got it.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

No, it's cool. We gonna run with it. Thank you so much. No, don't call me back. Don't put this on the news.

[Josh Breckus]

I.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Okay, bet.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So the next day, he had a US Passport and A ticket to San Antonio. This man is a genius. The real Nicholas had been gone for three years, and it was unknown how he disappeared. Nicholas and Frederick had similar stories, which allowed Frederick to easily slip into playing this role. Not. Frederick dyed his hair blonde.

[Josh Breckus]

Whoa. That's him.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Oh, my goodness.

[Josh Breckus]

What happened to his.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He said, let me run to the Walgreens and get some Clairol sis, okay? Because we about to be nickel. Barclay Farclay, Barclay Farcay, Barclay Sparklay. Okay. Nicholas and Frederick, they had the similar stories, right? Both of their mothers were unreliable and their fathers were not a part of their lives. Nicholas was also a die hard Michael Jackson fan and was a popular boy at school who often got in trouble for his explosive behavior. Wow. He was like, this is my reincarnation. Okay, so when he called the hotline for endangered children, was he also. What did I like? I like Thriller. Okay, Bet, bet, bet. Is my dad around? No. Okay. Awesome, awesome, awesome. No, no, no, no. We don't need to contact him. He don't need to take time to be a father today.

[Josh Breckus]

You treated like his agent looking for work. Like, what do we got? What do we got? CBS got a show where I'm like, character description, please.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Okay, what's the breakdown? All right, I love. Honestly, I wanna root for you, Frederico, but the hanging out with the kids part is still bumping me, so. But you know, I like all of this. Okay. But not the kids part. So we still can't f. For the first couple months. And Frederick came to settle in with a family that so desperately wanted to be his. Their prodigal son. So I got a family and they're like, we want to take in some kids and get a kid check. But also we want to. It's giving church member. It's giving. Like, we're going to bring our 30 year old child baby to church and be like, look, we adopted this little blonde baby child.

[Josh Breckus]

We get to go to heaven quicker, right? We got to skip the line, what

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

have y' all done for God?

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, what have you done?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Huh? God said, what have you done for me lately? We said, ooh, the kid. Like, we did this for God so fast.

[Josh Breckus]

Pass to heaven, you know?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And I love that for them. Stairway to Heaven. They're taking the elevator. Okay. Y' all pictures are taking the stairs. Love that. So eventually he couldn't take the pressure and was suspended from school when he stopped attending class. Well, yeah, You've been going to school for goddamn, what, 30 years?

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah. Oh, could you imagine?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Could you imagine going to School. I still have PTSD from college. And it feels insane to say that, but I will wake up out of my sleep sometimes, panicking, I turn in that essay or, oh, my God, did I graduate? And then I'm like, no, I've been out of that hole forever.

[Josh Breckus]

It's every class. It's the final, it's the midterm.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I left that scam so long ago. I had a dean who was like. My finance professor was also the dean. And he was like, one of the hardest teachers. And I remember walking across the stage in my business school graduation and leaning in his ear and I was like, yo, am I gonna get this in the mail? Cause we just taking the final. I didn't know if I passed that bitch. And I waited to take the hardest class. Cause I was on scholarship. I was like, this is gonna take my shit. And he was like, yeah, you gon and get it in the mail. I was like, thanks, bro. I honestly think I got it on personality alone.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah. But also on flip. Like, you could just be like. You would know everything. You're like, War of 1812, US England, right? Literally killing class.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I feel like every time you go back to school at the same age, you gotta get better.

[Josh Breckus]

It's all the same shit.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You would go to Harvard, Frederico. You should know everything by now. You should be killing these AP exams.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

But he was like, fuck it. I ain't going to school no more. So Frederick also began to become suspicious that Nicholas's mother, Beverly Dolarhyde, and older brother Jason knew Nicholas's whereabouts the entire and that he may have not mysteriously disappeared. So Federico is, like, becoming suspicious that, like, these people know what's up with him. At the time, a producer from the tabloid show Hard Copy called Private Investigator Charlie Parker. I love private investigators because they're just fucking nosy people who make it a career. Like I always say, guys take your flaw and just go make money with it. And let that be your outlet. If you're nosy as fuck, be a private investigator. If you're a hater. Working, giving people, you know, meter, like, find your calling and your passion with your flaws. So this is definitely his. So Charlie Parker investigates the disappearance of Nicholas Barclay. So we got a picture of Charlie up here. Right here. Charlie's driving an old school car. He listening to AM radio.

[Josh Breckus]

Who? He impersonated this guy?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

No. So Charlie is the investigator.

[Josh Breckus]

Okay. Yeah. That looks like a PI Right?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He looks like he loves spending time in his car. He will eat every meal in there.

[Josh Breckus]

If you Saw that guy pull up next to you, like, oh, shit. My ex is looking at me right now. My ex wants some stuff, right?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

My guy is bored. And I love that for him. He was like, how can I make being bored a profession? Love that. So they have Charlie Parker come to investigate the disappearance of Nicholas Barquette. Parker began to dig deeper and began finding red flags in the whole story, including Frederick's eye color, accent and hair roots didn't match any of Nicholas description. Now, now. Nicholas, Charlie. Nicholas, Charlie. Peter Pan. My guy. You gotta get root. Touch up. My guy. You can't be out here not being blonde. You gotta get the vault, the volumizer, whatever they doing to Lip. Like, what are you doing?

[Josh Breckus]

The finasteride. The finasteride. That's what it's. You need to get the pills. You need to regrow those follicles. I feel that like his Achilles heel is his front line.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, that's like his. It's his hair. His hair is sabotaging everything.

[Josh Breckus]

Like, bro, I feel that you gotta

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

go to Tony and Guy and have regular appointments and get a punch card. You can't ever let them roots grow out. What do you mean doing? He called Nicholas's mother with the evidence he had, but she didn't initially believe him. However, on March 5, 1998, almost six months after Nicholas was found, she finally called the authorities and Frederick was arrested at a diner with Parker the following day. According to Parker, when he told Nicholas and quotes that he had upset his mother, the young man blurted out, she's not my mother. You know it.

[Josh Breckus]

Love it. He drops character quick. He's done that a couple times.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He was like, okay, run, run, run. Bail, bail.

[Josh Breckus]

You're not my real mother. And he's like, yeah, he has to put a final dagger in here. You were never my real mother.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You were never my real mother.

[Josh Breckus]

You mean nothing. Dollar hide, right?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So several months later, Frederick pleaded guilty to perjury and to obtaining and possessing false documents. He was sentenced to six years in prison. Authorities investigated further into Nicholas disappearance. But after Jason, one of the only other suspects, died of a cocaine overdose, no evidence was found and there were no conclusions that could be made. So that's sad. Nicholas never tried turned up. The homie mysteriously died. So we don't ever know what happened to Nicholas other than Peter Pan pretended to be him. So it's not a great ending for that. So Frederick today. After his release from the clink, Frederick went on to pose as several more teenagers before being caught for his final act at the age of 30 in France in 2005, which is what we talked about in the beginning. After a six month probation, he was free and soon after married to a French woman, Isabel, after two months of courtship. Now, Isabelle, look at what he look like now. He look like he found religion.

[Josh Breckus]

He's hiding his freaking.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He's hiding that hairline. Okay, now he got the hairline out. Damn, he got hella kids. Are those his kids?

[Josh Breckus]

I don't know.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He birthed them with his penis. Oh my God. That's a lot of kids.

[Josh Breckus]

He looks interesting. He's like a very.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It's, you know. So after seeing him on television and connecting with his story, she had tracked him down and they fell in love. So this was a woman who was already wilding. This is like prison bay. She was like, ooh, this criminal. Let me write to him.

[Josh Breckus]

Ye. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me fix him, right?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Let me fix him. Let me support him. I mean, honestly, when you've been. Listen, if you're a person out there who dates men, we all know they criminals. So at least if you get one who's already been in jail, you know what you get? You know what I mean? And while they in jail, they can't really cheat on you. They can only like have several visits with other people. But other than that, you know, boo on lock. She locked it down after the lockdown. Okay. They have since had five children, which is what we're looking at right now. Hella, hella kids. Kids look cute. Kids look like they gonna get into cr. And I love that for them.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah. The one on the right with that smile. Got a joker smile going on right there. She's like.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He already done his like four robberies.

[Josh Breckus]

I've opened five lemonade stands where I've.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He got the lemonade stands on decking.

[Josh Breckus]

I got all of them deck.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So he continues to live in France with his family and his cats. All right, Frederic, I'm glad you out of jail. I mean, you just wanted to hang out and go to school and look, I think as an adult, if I went to school, I would appreciate it more because I'd be like, no bills.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Rent paid. He.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, he got up. He got off pretty easy.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, he got it. And we know he got a good education. He done learned the same shit about 50, 11 times. Okay. He can name all the states and the capitals. Can you?

[Josh Breckus]

No. Yeah. He said all that?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yes, and in different countries. So he's got a world class education. That's basically college.

[Josh Breckus]

Right. He can play the recorder. Play the hell out of a play recorder.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He played a recorder like, like, like Lizzo plays. He's playing like a saxophone. He's like, is that a saxophone? No, it's a recorder. It's wood. Yeah.

[Josh Breckus]

He goes up to an open mic and he's like, oh, we playing the recorder. And everyone's like, oh, let's see this guy. And he's like, ba da ba da ba. He's like, damn, is that Flight of

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

the Bumblebee on a recorder?

[Josh Breckus]

It sure is.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yes, he's got it. He's got the talent. Shout out to Federico and his recording playing skills. And now we've reached the saddest part of the show, the end. Where shortly I'll have to let Joshua go. But before we do that, scammer of the week, this is where we highlight one charlatan who's worthy of our praise. Or maybe not like Frederica, who spent a little too much time with children for our taste. So we'll see what we're getting into today. Today our scammer of the week is a world international chess player and he's 19 year old Hans Niemann. And some have accused him of cheating at the sink field cup using vibrating anal beads.

[Josh Breckus]

What? What?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So you thought the Queen's Gambit was wild when sis was over here on her Quaaludes? That's the Netflix show, Chest at the ceiling. But really the Netflix show is booty beads and how they work for chests. Look at him. He do look like he got something to talk about.

[Josh Breckus]

Oh yeah, he does. He looks like.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You don't just have that kind of concentration. If something ain't in your booty. That's a toilet face.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah. Checkmate. Checkmate.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Checkmate. Check. Check. Night to night to tinfoil.

[Josh Breckus]

I gotta go to the bathroom. Another bathroom break, please. They're loose. What's loose?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Nothing. No, nothing, Nothing. Okay, so last week Hans beat previous world champion Magnus Carlsen, the best chess player in the world, in a match for all intents purposes that should have been lost. So we're looking at the best chess

[Josh Breckus]

player and that looks like Corden.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It does look like James Corden.

[Josh Breckus]

Kind of looks like me a little bit. I don't. What?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Honestly, this is not a good photo shoot. It's giving Sears.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, you're the world champion.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You're the world champion. They couldn't get you no cuter shit than this. I mean, you got your nails did for it, but like you'd be like

[Josh Breckus]

flipping the board up.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, like, let me get some chess pieces. Like, falling all around. You were like, you know, you fucking the game up.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah. You're not, like, playing politely, Right?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I guess it's a flex. Cause he's holding. That's the king piece, right? So he's like, I got your king. Look at me. Yeah, I guess, child. It's a little dry, but okay. So this was the baddest bitch in the. In the chess game. And then he lost to our anal beat.

[Josh Breckus]

Dude.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So the two had never played before. Hans was clearly the weaker and less experienced player, and he was playing as black. So in chess, right, when you're playing black, you move second. They let the white people move first. Racism.

[Josh Breckus]

It's everywhere.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

We should flip a coin. Why do white people always move in first in life and in chess? Okay, it's a metaphor. So he was playing black, which, you know, like, out the gate, you're not the first person making the move. So someone else is already setting up their strategy. And it's harder, I think, also on the computer, like, computerized versions of chess, it's hard. I'm not really into the Queen's Gambit, and I was like, me, too.

[Josh Breckus]

And then I dropped it. I did that chess app for, like, a week.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Like, this is.

[Josh Breckus]

This is hard. This is hard.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Like, y' all trying to play chess.

[Josh Breckus]

This is hard.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I used to play chess against my dad, which is a full fucking scam, because he taught me how to play chess, and then obviously was going to teach me everything. So I would play him, and then we would bet. And if I lost, I had to watch his golf clubs. And if he won, he gave me money, and he always fucking won. I'd just be scrubbing his damn golf clubs all the damn time.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, that's how I could teach you. Like, if you're playing basketball, always when you're backing down, go to your. Your right hand. And then, like, you're just like, I'm gonna block you every time.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Right?

[Josh Breckus]

Like, teaching you how to lose to me. Right.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Very much that. My dad scammed me, and I just cleaned golf clubs for forever. So early in the match, Magnus made a single mistake, and Hans replied with a practically flawless game. Hans is the booty man. So following the match, Magnus withdrew from the tournament for the first time in his career. Hair. And tweeted a mysterious video of European soccer coach Jose Mourinho saying, if I speak, I'm in big trouble. Not the. If I speak. Okay, listen, Magnus was a messy hoe, okay? He was like, I'm the bad bitch of chess. How dare you come over here and do something like this to me. But he withdrew from the whole tournament. Like, why would you withdraw just cause you lost one match?

[Josh Breckus]

I think they're really, like, pentulent, aren't they? They're like. They're just like.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He's like, I don't do second chess.

[Josh Breckus]

I think chess is, like, super emotional people because they're like, king of nerds. And I think they just have all that repressed, repressed, like, emotion. Because I've heard that where there's like, I'm out. I lost. What?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You don't even want to get second. You don't even want to get some free drinks at the bar, you know, do a little chest toast, hang out with the other pawns and rooks at the fucking shit, you know, you don't want to do the L with the knights. Do the L electric slide. That's what y' all do when y' all move the nights. Nothing like that. Okay, cool. So he was just like, I'm out of this bitch. But then tweeted some shady ass shit. Love that. We love. We love mess. So more are speculating that Han somehow cheated because he admits to have cheated on Chess.com when he was 12. Who's not cheating on Chess.com? i feel like that's a place for cheating at 12.

[Josh Breckus]

I was doing really weird stuff at 12.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah. I was making fake MySpace pages.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah. I don't even know if I want to say what I was doing at 12.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Right. That's.

[Josh Breckus]

I was making my own Victoria's Secret catalogs from my mom's Victoria's Secret catalog. Okay. As my own editor in chief, let's just say that my mom found that I would cut out. Okay, well, now I might as well. I would cut out. My mom always, like, where do my Victoria's Secrets go? I'm like, I don't think they deliver them here anymore. And I would cut out the models and I'd place them in my. Oh, this is creepy. And I would place them like a collage. Yeah. I would kind of be like, this is like. I would just put them in my little binder and then put them up above my bed.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He was a connoisseur.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You know you loved fashion.

[Josh Breckus]

Creepy Devil's wear product kind of thing.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It's not cerulean. This is Josh telling his classmates. So while there is no evidence, there are speculative posts that due to the extremely tight security at chess tournaments, there's no way that Hans could have ever cheated under the assumption that he surely did, Right? So except for the use of anal beads that connected to a chess supercomputer and vibrated the correct moves. So basically, they're like, we check everybody when they come into the chest, bitch. Okay? We're checking your hands, we're patting you down, making sure you don't got no rooks in your pocket, you don't got no pawns, you don't got, you know, no queens, no extra kings, you know, but they can't check your booty hole. Imagine going to the chess competition. They're like, all right, it's time for the anal cavity search.

[Josh Breckus]

Spread them, drop them, spread them, spread them, spread them. My favorite part of the job.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You trying to play chess or no?

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, just scrubbing you nerds down.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Take them shoes off, too. This is an airport. This is TSA of chess. Okay? And spread them cheeks and cough.

[Josh Breckus]

Was there a guy in the van that. What do we mean to a supercomputer? Was there a guy in a van?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Right. Like, I'm trying to understand. So while, you know, they said that there's no evidence, but they're like, the only thing could have been anal beads. And then also, how do you know that? It's like, what the buzz means. You get like two booty buzzes, and. And you're like, left, right? You're like, rook left.

[Josh Breckus]

It must be like, a lot. It's like, five means rook, and two means left.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

He's like, five, Brooke.

[Josh Breckus]

And he's just yelling it out. And people are like, why is he saying it like that?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

My guy's just floating off the chair every time. It's this move.

[Josh Breckus]

Like, I just love chess. I just love it.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It's so fun. Woo. Stimulated. What? No. No, sir. No, ma'. Am. In a response, Hans has denied any and all accusations of cheating and has offered to game stripped naked. So here's the thing. Even Hans, if you were to play it naked, you put the booty bees in your booty like you gonna be sitting on your sphincter. Like we still wouldn't know.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, yeah, he's.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

What are you saying?

[Josh Breckus]

He's just like. I think now he's like, I will

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

spread it and cough on onlyfans, and then we will play chess.

[Josh Breckus]

I will cough every 30 seconds.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Hans, I'm just trying to figure out how your opponent, Magnus, even made this conjecture, being like, no, he had booty be. And that was giving chess advice.

[Josh Breckus]

Someone had to do it before, right?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Or maybe he must have saw his booty tingling every time.

[Josh Breckus]

You can tell I think if someone's uncomfortable. I just think you are.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

If your booty going off a bunch, I feel like in chess is like, you're just sitting across from one person. I feel like if somebody's booty was going off, like, Josh, if your booty was going off, right now, I feel like I would know.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah. If my prostate was getting basically massaged during this, you would know. I could hide that. That's a good thing.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Look at his face. The face is giving. Something is going on.

[Josh Breckus]

That prostate is getting milked right now.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah. He's focusing so hard. Every time he moves a piece, he's

[Josh Breckus]

like, no, no, no. Yeah. Cause he can't have default.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Default. No. That's my chest. That's how I get myself hyped up. I'd be like. I'm like, oh, Kelly Clarkson. I move a chess piece. What?

[Josh Breckus]

That would be his crush, Kelly Clarkson.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

The face is. It's the face for me. I don't know. It is giving. He might. He might have had some booty bees in the truck out front.

[Josh Breckus]

Maybe he was just like, I know this sounds crazy, guys. Like, it just looked like his butthole was vibrating the whole time.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

And I understand why he said, if I speak, I'm in big trouble. Cause, yeah, if you speak, you sound crazy.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I played a tennis match with Serena Williamson. Her booty was buzzing every time I hit the ball. Like, what?

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah. I don't. It must be a thing.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I mean, look, so this is the scammer of the week. How do we feel about this guy before we leave, if Hans was using booty. Booty tricks, Black booty magic. I don't know. I feel like that's very creative.

[Josh Breckus]

It's the most creative thing I've ever heard about in sport. I mean, it's technically sports.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah. It's a sport.

[Josh Breckus]

I think it's very creative.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah.

[Josh Breckus]

I'm trying to think, like, how could I implement that in my life?

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Right? How could we get by? Is this a thing? You can hook up a booty beat to a computer? How close does a computer have to be?

[Josh Breckus]

I think a fraternity is gonna get ahold of this, and it's gonna be over for, like, SATs or not SATs, but, like, what are those things called that we filled in? How do I not know that? Scantrons.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

So if you took a

[Josh Breckus]

C. C. You know, like, you just got a bunch of dudes going.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Like, everybody in the AP exam just like, oh.

[Josh Breckus]

Oh, no, it's an essay.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah. What do you do if it's an essay. It just goes off the whole time.

[Josh Breckus]

It's just Morse code.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

It's like booty force code. No, no, not the. Not the Morris booty code. I mean, look, guys, this is inventive and fun. So, you know.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, it's fine.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

I'm on your side. How they gonna check you? Boo. What they gonna do? They gonna check a booty hole at the chest competition. They're not gonna do that. They can't do booty holes. They're not. They don't have the certification for booty hole search. No, they go get certified.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah. And just, you know, make money on that pay per view thing. You're gonna do plain ch.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah. Because honestly, that. That'll get the girls going.

[Josh Breckus]

Maybe.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Maybe. That face, though.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, he's getting it.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

All right, congregation, we've reached the end of a very fun episode. As always, if you want to snitch on your friends and family, scamguidyspodmail.com if you want to see the photos of Mr. Booty Chess man, they'll be up on the Instagram scamgoddesspod. And follow us on Twitter if you just wanna chat with me. And then if you wanna see me personally. D I V A L A C I divalacy on all platforms. And Josh, we always ask our guests here, where would you

[Josh Breckus]

Josh Brekkus on Twitter is good. I think it's A.J. i can't even.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Good tweets happening there. What a.

[Josh Breckus]

Why am I saying a breckus at, like, Instagram if you want to see pictures.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

You got the booty beads in? Yeah, it's giving vibrating booty beads. Okay.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

That's how you remember your handles now.

[Josh Breckus]

Yeah, I can booty bead messages. What's my password for bank of America? All right,

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

all right. Congregation. Congregation. Sorry. My booty V went Thanksgiving. Scam Goddess. This has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco. Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Lacey Mosley, AKA Scam Goddess. It's produced by Judith Kargbo, engineered by Marina Paiz, and researched by Kalen Brandt. Stay scheming.

[Sponsor Announcer 2]

Now is your time to get into a new Dr. Horton home by taking advantage of its national red tag sales event going on right now through Sunday, May 3rd. Stop by any of its participating communities and find SEL Red Tag Homes at incredible pricing. So whether you're buying your first home or looking for an upgrade, you don't want to miss the red tag sales event going on right now. Discover the Dr. Horton difference. Tap your screen now or visit Dr. Horton.com Dr. Horton, America's builder and equal housing opportunity builder. And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Even if it means sitting front row

[Sponsor Announcer 2]

at a comedy show.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Josh Breckus]

Oh, no.

[Sponsor Announcer 2]

We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways.

[Sponsor Announcer 2]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Josh Breckus]

Liberty.

[Lacey Mosley (Scam Goddess)]

Liberty.

[Josh Breckus]

Liberty.