BONUS The Power of Handwritten Letters for Leaders | Amy Daughters

Summary

Scrum Master Toolbox Podcast: Agile Storytelling from the Trenches Episode Summary: BONUS - The Power of Handwritten Letters for Leaders | Amy Daughters

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Introduction

In this special bonus episode of the Scrum Master Toolbox Podcast, host Vasco Duarte, alongside co-host Pasco, delves into the profound impact of handwritten letters in leadership and human connections. The guest for this episode is Amy Daughters, an author and advocate for rekindling personal connections through the timeless art of letter writing. The conversation explores how handwritten letters can transform leadership practices, enhance workplace culture, and foster genuine human relationships in an increasingly digital world.

Amy Daughters’ Personal Journey with Handwritten Letters

Amy begins by sharing the origin of her transformative letter-writing experiment.

[02:41] Amy Daughters: "I was minding my own business, just doing my thing as a freelance writer and author. In 2014, I reconnected with a friend from 35 years ago on Facebook. Through her updates, I learned about her son Parker's battle with cancer. Driven by empathy, I began sending her letters—something I hadn't done in 25 years."

Despite the eventual tragic loss of Parker in 2015, Amy's continued correspondence with Dana, Parker's mother, led to a deep and meaningful exchange that lasted over two years. This experience inspired Amy to extend her efforts, reaching out to over 500 Facebook friends with personalized letters.

[07:50] Amy Daughters: "Any relationship, just the impact of a handwritten note or letter, has such power to do such good. I realized I'm going to spend the rest of my life talking about it."

The Transformative Power of Handwritten Letters in Leadership

The discussion shifts to the significance of handwritten notes in leadership roles. Amy emphasizes that such gestures go beyond digital communications by conveying genuine care and appreciation.

[11:06] Amy Daughters: "When someone receives a handwritten item from you, it shows that you took the time and effort to recognize them personally. It's a powerful tool in a leader's toolkit that can have more meaning than most other actions."

Amy illustrates how a simple handwritten note can make employees feel valued and recognized, thereby enhancing engagement and retention.

[13:32] Amy Daughters: "If you send a handwritten note to recognize an employee's achievement, they will realize that what they did mattered enough to you. It's a tangible demonstration of their value within the organization."

Mutual Transformation: Impact on Leaders and Employees

Pasco highlights that the act of writing letters also profoundly affects the sender, not just the recipient.

[14:33] Pasco: "The writing of the letter shows something that leaders often struggle to show—genuine care that creates deep and lasting connections."

Amy concurs, explaining that leaders who engage in handwritten correspondence develop a deeper appreciation and connection with their team members.

[14:38] Amy Daughters: "Writing letters changes the leader's perception, fostering a mindset of gratitude and recognition. It transforms how leaders view and interact with their employees."

Handwritten Letters as a Tool for Empathy and Self-Reflection

The conversation delves into the introspective benefits of letter writing. Amy discusses how the deliberate process of writing by hand slows down thought processes, allowing for greater reflection and empathy.

[24:24] Amy Daughters: "The process of writing by hand slows everything down, requiring you to think more deeply about what you're communicating. This leads to more meaningful and intentional messages."

Pasco relates this to his personal practice of writing therapy session notes by hand to enhance reflection.

[25:26] Pasco: "When I write by hand, it slows my thinking down, allowing me to be more reflective, which is essential for therapy."

Practical Tips for Leaders to Implement Handwritten Letter Practices

Amy provides actionable steps for leaders interested in integrating handwritten letters into their leadership practices:

1. Overcome Initial Hesitations:

   • [27:44] Amy Daughters: "Get past the block of not knowing what to say. Trust your human side to convey genuine sentiments."

2. Start Small and Consistent:

   • [27:44] Amy Daughters: "Commit to writing one note a week to begin with. Let the momentum build naturally."

3. Keep It Personal and Brief:

   • [27:44] Amy Daughters: "Two sentences can pack a significant punch. Ensure the message aligns with your personality and is sincere."

4. Embrace Imperfection:

   • [27:44] Amy Daughters: "Don't strive for perfect handwriting or length. The authenticity of your message is what truly matters."

5. Make It a Habit:

   • [27:44] Amy Daughters: "Incorporate letter writing into your routine, such as doing it first thing in the morning, to ensure consistency."

The Emotional and Organizational Impact

Amy shares testimonials illustrating the profound emotional impact her letters had on recipients, including one who framed a letter as a treasured keepsake.

[19:52] Amy Daughters: "The number one response was 'I am going to save your letter in a special place for the rest of my life.' It had such a deep emotional impact that people displayed the letters proudly in their workplaces."

Pasco reflects on the unique emotional resonance of handwritten letters compared to digital communications, underscoring their role in fostering deep, personal connections.

[22:43] Amy Daughters: "Handwritten notes are one of the most intimate forms of communication we have today because nobody else sees them. They offer a private, personal touch that digital messages lack."

Conclusion and Call to Action

As the episode concludes, Amy directs listeners to her book, "Dear Dana," which chronicles her letter-writing journey and highlights the powerful takeaways from her experience.

[30:26] Amy Daughters: "Dear Dana chronicles both my reconnection with Dana and features 52 snippets of the Facebook letters and replies—52 of the most powerful takeaways I learned from the story."

Vasco and Pasco wrap up by emphasizing the transformative potential of handwritten letters in Agile leadership and organizational culture, encouraging listeners to adopt this practice to enhance their leadership effectiveness and foster meaningful connections within their teams.

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Key Takeaways

• Authenticity and Vulnerability: Handwritten letters allow leaders to express genuine care and appreciation, fostering deeper emotional connections with their teams.

• Intentional Communication: The deliberate process of writing by hand encourages thoughtful and empathetic communication, enhancing leadership effectiveness.

• Employee Engagement: Personalized handwritten notes can significantly boost employee engagement, retention, and overall workplace culture.

• Mutual Transformation: The act of writing letters not only impacts recipients but also transforms leaders by fostering a mindset of gratitude and recognition.

• Practical Implementation: Leaders should start small, maintain consistency, keep messages personal and brief, and embrace imperfection to successfully integrate handwritten correspondence into their leadership practices.

Notable Quotes

• Amy Daughters on the Start of Her Journey:

  [05:22] Amy Daughters: "I couldn't stop myself because I think I was on this mission that I was supposed to go on."

• Amy Daughters on Mutual Human Connection:

  [06:28] Amy Daughters: "We trusted each other, we cared about each other. And it was beautiful... It was all about what we said as human beings."

• Amy Daughters on the Power of Effort:

  [16:06] Amy Daughters: "You can pack such a punch in two sincere sentences... It’s a gift that’s non-intrusive, just meant for them."

• Amy Daughters on Overcoming Hesitations:

  [27:44] Amy Daughters: "Don't look for perfection... You have to write two sentences and just let yourself go there and see what happens."

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About the Guest: Amy Daughters

Amy Daughters is an author and speaker dedicated to revitalizing human connections through the art of handwritten letters. Her book, "Dear Dana," documents her personal journey of letter-writing and the profound lessons learned from connecting with others on a deeper, more personal level. Amy's work emphasizes the importance of empathy, gratitude, and intentional communication in leadership and personal relationships.

Further Engagement

Listeners interested in exploring Amy Daughters' work and continuing the conversation on the power of handwritten letters can visit her website at www.amydaughters.com. Amy welcomes letters and invites others to share their thoughts and experiences related to her message.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Vasco]

Have you ever wondered what it really takes to make Agile work?

[Pasco]

Well?

[Vasco]

At the Global Agile Summit, we're bringing you real life first person stories of Agile succeeding out there in the real world that will inspire you to take action. Whether you're a leader, a product innovator, a developer, you'll hear practical insights from those who've done it. They'll be telling their own stories from the stage. I'll tell you more about this at the end of this episode. So stay back and listen to the full detailed description of what we have in store for you at the Global Agile Summit. But if you can't wait, you can go right now to globalagilesummit.com and check.

[Pasco]

Out our full schedule for now onto the episode.

[Vasco]

But I'll see you at the end of this episode with more details on the Global Agile Summit. Talk to you soon.

[Pasco]

Hello everybody. Welcome to a very special bonus episode. We're going to talk about something that is as ancient as humans are, although we probably didn't use the same technology before. But more about that in a second. We have with us today from the U.S. amy Daughters. Hey Amy, welcome to the show.

[Amy Daughters]

Thank you so much for having me on. I'm excited.

[Pasco]

Absolutely. So imagine reconnecting with hundreds of people you once knew. Could a handwritten letter change your relationship forever? Well, stay tuned. Amy's going to tell us all about that and how her lessons can help you in your leadership positions as well. Amy has a remarkable ability to inspire and connect with audiences and her work centers around revitalizing human connections so important as a skill for leaders. I'm just right now talking to a few leaders about that as it happens. She achieves this by rekindling the age.

[Vasco]

Old art of handwritten letters.

[Pasco]

And before you turn off to listen to the story because there's some amazing insights coming in her books, pardon me, such as Dear Dana, and you'd cannot mess this up have touched the hearts of many. Inspiring vulnerability and genuine kinship. Critical characteristics for great leaders. So Amy, let's dive into first your story. Can you share your story behind this incredible letter writing experiment, how it began and what sparked it?

[Amy Daughters]

Yeah, absolutely, Vasco. You know, I was, I like to frame the story. I was minding my own business, just I'm a freelance writer, an author. So I was just doing my thing and I get on Facebook one day, 2014, you know, very innocently like we all do. And I had a memory of a friend that I'd worked with a summer camp here in Texas 35 years ago and I'd always remembered her because we had big personalities. We'd probably spent six weeks together, total. And I just typed her name in, you know, like we do on social media. And there she pops up. I go in, I spend five minutes looking through her life. We friend request each other. It doesn't mean anything. And I found out right away that she has five kids. The youngest is the only son, and he's battling cancer. And it. It's a serious battle. I follow along. I don't hit, like, I don't comment on anything. And then about nine, 10 months later, he goes into remission. I'm like, oh, relief. You know, as a human being, as a mom, as a person. I immediately get invested in the story. Well, he goes back home from battling the cancer. So it kind of goes on the back burner of my consciousness, but I still see her on my Facebook newsfeed. About six months after that, the cancer comes back. He goes back to the cancer hospital. And I sit down, and I'm a writer. I have this freelance schedule. I'm writing about sports at the time. So I sit down at my desk on a Sunday, and it's like a lightning bolt hits me, and I'm like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to start sending this woman and her son letters at the facility where he's fighting the cancer. And I hadn't written anyone a letter in 25 years. I wasn't the letter girl. I wasn't trying to go on some meaningful journey. I was just living my regular life and got inspired with this idea, which I actually followed through on. So I wrote Dana and her son Parker, for probably eight to 10 weeks, awkwardly cards in the mail, saying I was thinking about them, that, you know, their fight meant something to me personally. I wasn't sure why. And then. And there's no good words for this. The year turns into 2015, and Parker passes away from cancer at only 15 years old. So total devastation had nothing to do with me. And I knew that, but I kind of thought, well, kind of felt invested in this, so what should I do? And I thought, well, I'll just keep writing the letters. And only this time, I didn't really know where she lived because this was Facebook. And so I looked up. I knew her husband. He was an attorney. So I just started. And this story is levels of me behaving irrationally, and I understand that completely. But I couldn't stop myself because I think I was on this mission that I was supposed to go on. And life or fate or God just gave me this, you know, where I was going to have this story at the end of this journey. So I keep writing her, but now I'm sending the letters to her husband's law office.

[Pasco]

And.

[Amy Daughters]

And the whole time I'm doing, I'm thinking, this is ridiculous. She lost her son. She doesn't know who you are. Why are you sending letters? Couldn't stop. So probably four or five months. And if I said I thought every week I was going to quit because it was again, irrational, well, then five months into it, I go out to my mailbox and there's a 10 page letter from this woman, a handwritten letter. She talks about her grief, she talks about her family. And then all of a sudden, this kicks off. Two years of me and this woman in 2015, 16 and 17 of us communicating exclusively through the United States Postal Service. And it created this incredible vacuum where we could say whatever we wanted to, because I didn't know when she was reading what I said, she didn't know what I was reading. So she opened up about her grief. I looked at my life from the outside in. We trusted each other, we cared about each other. And it was beautiful, Vasco, because I didn't know how she voted. She didn't know how I voted. And you know, in the United States, this is a polarizing time. And this was during the first Trump election, so the Trump Clinton election. So super powerful. I didn't know what her religious views were. I didn't know what she thought about any kind of socio issues.

[Pasco]

So basically you were relating to each other as just fellow human beings.

[Amy Daughters]

Beautifully said. That's exactly what we were doing. And it was so powerful that about six months into this pen pal, because that's what it was, modern pen pal relationship, I was like, if this can happen from this one girl who I really not even really sure like what our memories are, then what about this other 500 people I'm Facebook friends with? What happens if I write them? So then I went off the chart nuts. And I put everyone's name in a box and it was like a social experiment. I got stationary and I got a journal and I set off on this journey of writing every single one of my Facebook friends. And I didn't think I was going to finish. I don't know how serious I was. But once I got about 100 letters and I realized that this was probably going to be the most, probably the most meaningful thing I was ever going to do in my life. And my finger was bleeding by the end. I didn't think I was going to make it to the end, but it blew up my life to the point, now that I speak about it, I wrote a book about it. This was never the plan for me. And I realized that any relationship, just the impact of a handwritten note or letter, any place where there's a human relationship involved, has such power to do such good that really, I think I'm going to spend the rest of my life talking about it.

[Pasco]

Pasco and actually, this is a very interesting perspective that when you write a letter to someone, whether it's a Christmas card that you write once a year or whether it is a regular pen pal correspondence, just like the one that you described, there's a lot more that is put into the paper than could ever be put into a Facebook comment or an Instagram comment, whatever. Right. Like, we are going back in some sense and maybe, I don't know if that's how you felt. In some sense, we're kind of going back to our origins as human beings and we're using technology that isn't anymore today's technology. Right. Like most people would write texts or whatever. And that also puts us in a completely different state of mind. Is that how you experienced it?

[Amy Daughters]

Oh, absolutely. You know, the most changed person from all this was me because I looked at my, you know, after the letters with Dana, and that's what drove me to write the Other Liars. It made me look at everything in my life differently. It changed who I was because my appreciation and gratitude meter for all these people who showed up in my life because it went from being this list and this is so relatable of 500 and something people that I known for 15 minutes or five years. You know, it depends on how choosy you are and your friend, you know, when you accept friends. But I realized that all these people, one were amazing individuals that I hadn't really appreciated on an individual level. They were in their own arena. They had experienced their own real, messy, triumphant, horrible, beautiful, real life. And I was connected to each of these amazing people for a reason. And there's such hope in that. And then all of a sudden, I didn't care if they voted Democrat or Republican or what their religious values were, because it all came down to what you said. This human connection was the most important thing. And I think the other biggest takeaway is what the letters meant to them. I had no idea. And this is where we can dig into this. The power we can use in relationships as leaders with Employees with customers. You can put this in any direction you want to. The power we have in our own hands with about 15 minutes and the cost of a postage stamp, if you're going to mail it, because it takes effort. And individuals who receive this are going to understand. I can talk a lot about that, the effort it took to. To. And you're treating them like an individual. Important, valuable connection that they have.

[Pasco]

Yeah. And I want to explore that because, of course, we're in the Scrum Master Toolbox podcast. So we're going to talk about leadership and. And coaching and connection and. And accepting others and treating others as. As valuable and unique human beings. Right. Which is some of the things that you've already said. And the writing of the letter also shows something that leaders often struggle to show, which is genuine care that creates this deep and lasting connections. Bonds. Right. So what do you think are some of the lessons that managers and leaders can take from your experiment in how they can help improve, shape workplace culture in their teams?

[Amy Daughters]

Right. And I think it just comes back to what. And I've spoken to so many groups, you know, real estate agents, leaders, women leaders. I mean, so in so many different ranges. And I told you that at the beginning of my journey with this story, I didn't realize how it fits so well into exactly what you're talking about is leadership, because it is one tool in your toolkit as a leader that will have more meaning than most anything else you can do outside of a huge check for a bonus. Now, I don't think I could probably compete with that. But here's what's going to happen, Vasco, if you take the time as a leader. First of all, as leaders, we don't have a lot of time. You don't have a lot of time. And there's a lot of talk about, I don't have time for that. I don't have time for that. But when someone receives a handwritten item from you, you know, let's use the employee as a. Let's say I work for you, Vasco. You're my supervisor, my vice president, my manager, whatever your role is in the organization. If I receive a handwritten. Let's say I achieved something at work, an accomplishment of some kind, and you recognize that. Not with an email, not with a shout out, but you send me this little note with like three sentences in it and put it on my desk, put it in office mail, mail it to me. However you do it, it's not an email, it's not a text. I'm going to have that in my hands and it's going to be your handwriting, you know, so it's going to be very personal. And I'm going to immediately. And I know this because I experienced this with 600 different people in a different arena. But immediately I'm going to realize that Vasco, my supervisor, took the time and the effort and the higher up on the food chain you are is even better to do this for me, that what I did mattered enough to him, was important enough, was valued enough for him to sit down and I'm going to click, click, click, click. I'm going to realize that you had to sit down, you had to find the envelope, you had to write the things down, you had to seal it, you had to put my name on it. And your administrative assistant didn't do it. You did it. You could have sent me something that they did for you. People see that and it still means something to them. But human beings get that. And all of a sudden I'm going to think, oh my God, that's how much I matter in this organization. That's how much I'm valued. And you talk about things about employee engagement, retention. You know, you can't gauge, though, you can't gauge the power of what this is going to do because I've talked to so many people who've utilized it and really we can't gauge the impact it's going to have.

[Pasco]

So here's the thing. Like, I hear you say that and I'm totally with you. Like, I agree with everything that you said, how important it is for the person receiving it, how important it is for them to feel valued and that you took the time to write it for them. But the thing that I am most amazed about is the story from the perspective of the person who writes the letter. Because you were changed by that experiment just as much as the other people receiving the letters were. Right?

[Amy Daughters]

Right. And it goes back to the leader writing the letter. You know, it's going to change Vasco's perception probably just as much, if not more than it's going to change my perception as the employee. Because you are going to change. You're going to look for it's multi level 1:1 as human beings in this culture of like frantic culture where everything is, you know, because things are messy. I mean, we're dealing with human beings as leaders. You know, you're going to know that that's the one good thing. Let's say you're going to commit to writing two notes a week or one note a week or something reasonable, not 580. That's ridiculous. But you're going to. You're going to.

[Pasco]

Because no one has done that before. Right?

[Amy Daughters]

Right. But you're going to feel, you're going to look at your employees different because you're going to giving them that gratitude. You're going to feel this connection to them and you're going to feel like you've done something very, you know, tactile that has made a difference in your organization and that hope is going to drive you and you're going to be a better leader, a better human being, a better person in the organization. And plus, you're going to feel that gratitude I felt in a different way for the people, you know, the employees, because it's going to make you sit down and recognize that in a different way because you're going to put effort towards it, you know, and you're going to also, you know, because the other question I get asked a lot is, you know, what if I don't feel comfortable doing it? Well, I didn't feel comfortable doing it the whole time I did it. I still write a let a note to, you know, most days of a week, I sit down and write somebody a note because I just. It honors the whole story. It's the best part of. It's the best version of me, you know, and I still feel the block. I still feel like, why am I doing this? But then the impact it has if you just let it go, if you let the momentum take you, you will never go back to not doing it.

[Pasco]

You know, the thing that really struck me as I was reading your story is that we hear all of these people talking about vulnerability and how important it is leaders to show vulnerability. And there's a lot of good research and books written on that. But the handwritten letter just speaks vulnerability. Right. Like it's your raw self. There's no chatgpt writing that for you.

[Amy Daughters]

Right. And think about. It's intimate, like, you know, and humans need that. Like I'm holding in my hand, let's say, especially when now we all work remotely. It's even more powerful now because I'm holding something that was meant just for me in my hands, that is from my direct supervisor. And then you're showing vulnerability with your handwriting. You know, this is something and you want to write it neatly, but you don't need more than two sentences. This does not have to be an epistle. This does not have to be six pages. You can do this. You can pack such a Punch in two sincere sentences and then vasco at the end. And it's so personal. But you know, the thing is, the other element of the note writing that's so powerful is it's non intrusive. You're not saying something to someone in a group if that's not what they like or you're not, you know what I mean? They're getting it. They don't have to do anything with it. It's a gift to them that they don't have to respond to, that they don't have to do anything with. They don't have to write a thank you note for a note. But you have to write a thank you note if you get sent flower, you know, or if you receive an item. But they're. You're giving them a gift that's non intrusive. They don't have to respond immediately to. They can let it marinate. If they want to write back, great. If they don't want to write back, fine too, you know, there's no rules to this engagement and that there's. There's a beautiful, there's something so beautiful and simple about that.

[Pasco]

When I think about that, the kind of, the process of writing, right. Like process of writing is to some extent also the same as communication, but it's more thoughtful, right? Like it's not talking, right. It's not writing a short comment on somebody's slack message. It is actually more thoughtful. And we realize that because it actually takes more effort to make the hand move than it takes to type keyboard, at least for most people these days. And one of the things that I am really curious about, and that's an experiment I will definitely run myself in my company and some of the clients I work with, is to try to use handwritten letters to communicate also that the message itself is more important than everything else that is communicated about. And one example for leaders is, for example, if there's a significant change in strategy or vision for the organization to actually do that as a handwritten letter to their most direct reports, or let's say the, the 20 people you interact the most with or whatever that is. But to have that ability, because I think it helps the leaders also crystallize the message, you will have to repeat it. You can't copy paste handwritten letters, right? So you have to repeat it. So it will also crystallize it and make it personal. Because at the end of the day, organizations are, we could call it embodiment of ideas like, you know, vision strategies, sales strategies, product strategies, whatever that is. And the ideas are communicated through. In this case, it would be through handwritten letters, which makes it so much more personal and impactful.

[Amy Daughters]

Right. And you know, you want to tell somebody they're a valuable part of this change process, that their contributions to this process is important, is that you took the time to write that note and explain it to them. That's how important they are. That's how critical they are in the success of this change or endeavor or whatever it is. And they're going to feel I'm important, I'm all in, because this person is all in for me.

[Pasco]

And one part of your story that really triggered this thought in me is when you share that some people told you that they treasure the letters that they received from you. So it definitely has a large emotional impact.

[Amy Daughters]

Well, yeah, the number one response I got from writing the letters, the 600 letters, was, I am going to save your letter in a special place for the rest of my life. That's the impact. And I'll tell you a story. I did a women's leadership conference I spoke at, and a woman contacted me like eight months after the fact. And she said that she had practiced, like she had done one letter a week, then two letters a week, notes, just small notes, you know, to people in her organization. And she said she walked around one time to like the world of cubicles. And she said she. All over the place, these things were hung up like a treasured. Like, you know, one person had it in a frame, you know, because they were so proud and so just off just completely. It meant so much to them emotionally. And that feeds over when you're at work to, you know, effort levels and buy in and, you know, engagement. All those buzzwords we use, you know, they felt valued and important enough to hang it up like a, like a, like a plaque, like a trophy, you know, it was that important.

[Pasco]

Yeah. So what you just said, if I could describe it, like, you know, if. Let's say imagine I was coaching a leader, I could, I could describe, like, look, the best way to make someone feel valued is to do something for them that nobody else has ever done.

[Amy Daughters]

That's it. You just hit the nail on the head. Because the other thing is this, you know, back in time where we're doing something that. And you said it beautifully at the beginning, that humans have done since. And I love that. Since the beginning of time. But the other takeaway is going to be, when's the last time somebody hand wrote me anything? And especially specifically for me. And if you Think about if you want to put. If you want to quantify how valuable this process is. Look at organizations that are spending money on software and hardware that makes communication to customers mainly look like handwritten communications. Because I know here in the US if you go look at your mailbox, there are people trying to like Amy Daughters with my address. And it looks like blue ink. It's not blue ink. That's how powerful it is. It's powerful enough to organizations spend money, but you have that power. And it's only going to take you especially start when you start rolling. It's going to take you 10 minutes. It's going to take you 10 minutes. And sincerity. And the only things you need to do this are to have to be a human being with a heart. That's all you really need to get in this. You don't have to be a writer. You don't have to have great handwriting. I mean, you got to slow down and do it right. You just need two sentences and your name written. You will blow people's mind.

[Pasco]

Yeah, absolutely. I would even say that it doesn't need to look good at all because it is about being personal. And, and I mean, you know this. And some people listening might know this, but many probably won't know that. Our handwritten notes are probably one of the most intimate things we have these days because nobody sees them.

[Amy Daughters]

Right. And you're showing you're, you know, when you think about that powerful manager, employee relationship, you're showing them something no one else sees, their handwriting. You know, because we don't work with handwriting anymore. You know, when I got in the workforce, there was purchase orders and there was, you know, there was things where you would see notes and we don't even do that. It's all electronic now. That's great. We're so much more efficient than we were. Like, we've dropped a lot of things we didn't need to do. But again, it just gives this whole idea even more power. AI Great. It gives this more power. Chat GPT. Wonderful. It gives it just, just piles the power on. And again, this is one tool in your toolkit. That's all it is. And it's so simple. It's almost easy to, to overlook it to. Yeah, it's. It's completely counterintuitive. The whole idea is almost too easy.

[Pasco]

Yeah. And I think that you just said it right. Like it's so simple that it. Nobody will think of it as a great idea because it's so simple. Now, there is one aspect that we haven't talked about that I think is very important. And you've mentioned it in your story, which is this, that writing becomes a self reflection for the person writing as well. Right. And I think that this can also become kind of a tool for intentional and empathic communication. Right. Is that what you find, like when you talk to other leaders, when you share the story and you hear their thoughts, and especially those that have already tried it, do you see this happening, the self reflection and the empathy and the intentional communication as part of the process?

[Amy Daughters]

Oh, absolutely. Because when you see that, you can have positive impact on anyone in the workforce. I mean, in the workplace, outside of the workplace, as human beings, we crave that. We crave making a difference, you know, doing something that's good. And it does change. And based on my experience, it changes the mindset of the leader. You know, it makes you look at yourself in a different light. Absolutely, it does. You know, and that empathetic, the empathetic component absolutely is going to be. And it's again, it's a hard thing to quantify. And we want numbers. We want, we want, you know, we want to know how it's going to make a difference. We want someone to quantify. And this is one of those things that, you know, I'm a numbers girl and you can't completely put a number to this. I mean, I'm a spread. I'm a woman with a spreadsheet for everything. And that's not this thing, you know, it's. It's more powerful than that, you know, and the only way I can. The only way you're going to quantify it is within yourself somehow. And you're just going to be changed in a very good way.

[Pasco]

Absolutely. I totally see that now. I don't have a lot of handwriting practices myself, other than the Christmas cards that I send once a year. But there's one thing that I do as a practice in writing, which is that when I'm preparing my therapy session, I write my notes before the therapy session by hand. And I do that on purpose, specifically because it slows my thinking down. Like when I type, I type too fast. But when I write by hand, it slows my thinking down, which allows me to be a lot more reflective. And of course that's the goal of therapy. So I want to use that as a practice. And I think that that's something that I would like to highlight from my own experience is this ability to kind of get in touch with the different way of thinking in our brain, which is slower, more Thoughtful, more deliberate. Is that how you felt when you were writing those letters?

[Amy Daughters]

I absolutely did. And I think you said that beautifully. It does slow, it slows everything down because the process, the mechanical process is slower. So it requires you to do that. So it automatically, it almost does that magically just, just because of the mechanics of doing it, you know, and it does. And you think about that, you know, like you used to take notes when you went to university. It does slow it down and it has a different impact, you know, like rewriting your notes. Some people study that way. It does it because it slows your brain down. It makes you think about each element of it differently. And so the note writing or the letter writing will absolutely have that component of it too, which again leads it to being more meaningful. And somehow it takes a hold of you more than it would have if you sent an appreciative email or text.

[Pasco]

Okay, so we've talked about how handwritten notes can help clarify ideas, motivate employees, solidify visions, and act as an incredible self reflection tool. I think we're all sold on the idea, Amy. And I bet the people listening to us are thinking, okay, but how could I make this a practice? Like, do you have like a set of tips that you have for those that maybe already sold on the idea and just want to get it started, started. Some small steps we could take.

[Amy Daughters]

Right. And I think best practices are one, you got to get past the block that's going to be there for a lot of people. Like, what do I say? Am I going to sound disingenuous? Am I going to sound authentic? I think you have to trust again, that human part of you that'll know what to do. And I think you're going to have to fight that at the beginning. You have to fight that block of, okay, this isn't going to, how is this going to be received? Because nothing's foolproof in human interaction. But I would say I would give this a strong 97% success rate. But I'm saying those other 3% are probably not going to tell you they don't like it because I don't think. I just don't see any. There's really no backside to this. So if you can get over the hump of I'm not sure if I want to do this, I think that's the first step. And then two, you got to make this beautiful, fit into who you are as a leader. And I think that the first thing to do is commit to one note a week. If that works for you commit to doing it in the morning. I think that's the best way before you get started on all the other stuff. You sit down and you write one note on Wednesdays and then you let that. See how the momentum goes and do two notes and three notes. But make it a first thing in the morning thing and don't get caught up in it having to be long to be meaningful. You know, two sentences and your name, one sentence, because it's got to fit your personality, too. I'm not a brief person. Brevity is not one of my gifts, you know, but, but, but you can pack a punch in a sentence on a sticky note, honestly, you know, but you can get a nice little card and you don't have to get stationary. You know, all you, you can go out to your local retailer. I don't know where that is in Finland, you know, but we all have a retailer that sells little note cards that are small. That's all you need. That's all you need. And a ballpoint pen. And to your point, don't look for perfection, because what is going to sell this is that it's not perfect, because you can make. You can. They know how you work already. They know you have a standard because they get your emails, you know, they get your communications. This is different. That's where the vulnerable thing is. Your handwriting is great just as it is. You know, you want to spell everything right, but just two sentences and just let yourself go there and see what happens. And I guarantee you. And don't look for a reply right away because it may mean so much. And I would just keep doing it whether anyone replies or not, because we don't need a reply to validate. We've made a difference. That's the world we live in. This is a different world. This is a separate world of consciousness that you're going to be in.

[Pasco]

Yeah, it definitely gives us access to that separate world of consciousness. Now, Amy, if people want to know more about your story, what is the book that you would recommend they pick up immediately?

[Amy Daughters]

Well, if you, I mean, Dear Dana is my book, but if you go to my website, it's got more about my journey, about, you know, my speaking, the book, you know, and it's www.amydaughters.com and my mailing address there. So if you write me a letter, I'll write you back. I'd love to hear any thoughts you have or questions you have specifically for me. I'd love to communicate about this, but Dear Dana is the book that chronicles both my reconnection with Dana and it features 52 snippets of the Facebook letters and replies and kind of 52 of the most powerful takeaways I learned from the story. It's super inspiring, not because I wrote it, but just because it's a great story that fate decided to let happen to me so I could have this. It's not really about platform. It's not really about selling books. I mean, I'm an author, I'm a small business person basically, but to me it's about this idea of what we can do as human beings to make a difference in whatever arena we're participating in.

[Pasco]

And you definitely have made a difference. Amy, thank you very much for being with us in this show and for your generosity with your time and your knowledge.

[Amy Daughters]

Well, thank you so much, Pasco. It was a pleasure.

[Vasco]

Hey friend, thank you for staying here is all you need to know about the Global Agile Summit if you've ever suffered or know people who are suffering from Agile fatigue, this event is for you.

[Pasco]

Agile fatigue is that feeling that settles.

[Vasco]

In when we can't really see a light at the end of the tunnel. We get discouraged, especially when conversations revolve.

[Pasco]

Around the same old frameworks, the same.

[Vasco]

Old buzzwords and theories. We don't feel that energy anymore. Well, the Global Agile Summit is a different kind of event. We're bringing you real life first person stories of Agile succeeding out there in the real world that will inspire you to take action and transform the way you work. The Global Agile Summit will happen In Tallinn, Estonia, May 18th. That's the workshop day. Then 19th and 20th the conference day. And Tallinn, Estonia is one of the most innovative tech hubs in Europe. The Global Agile Summit is hosted together with Latitude 59, which is kind of a citywide celebration of software startups and groundbreaking ideas. And we'll have a shared ticket for you to attend those events as well. So who will be speaking? Well, we've got an incredible lineup of thought leaders, leaders in software and agile. For example, Clinton Keith, the person who wrote literally wrote the book on game development with Scrum and is busy bringing Agile to the world of game development. You must check his session. The very famous and well known Jurgen Apello, author of Management 3.0, will be talking and exploring about AI's impact on leadership. We also have Goiko Adsic, who's taking an unconventional look at product growth with his Lizard Optimization keynote. Other speakers include, for example, Sven Dietz, who's challenging everything we know about software development by ditching literally ditching contracts and estimates. Can you imagine his teams deliver software before their contract competitors are even done.

[Pasco]

With a contract negotiation.

[Vasco]

How agile is that? But there's more. We'll cover engineering practices in our developer track with talks on for example AI assisted test driven development, developing products in minutes with a different approach to how we develop, configure, deploy platforms, and much more. We also have a product track where we cover cutting edge ideas around product discovery, delighting customers with product delight frameworks. We'll have a talk about that. And we also have an Agile Business track where we will talk about, for example Open strategy, a very agile approach to managing organizations and delivering software faster to clients faster than you can even write a contract. Literally. I mean, I already told you about Svendeet's story is amazing. It definitely is a must see. I'm sure you'll be inspired and get a lot of ideas for your own software projects and software delivery. Now whether you're a business leader, a product innovator or a developer, you'll definitely find value in our three focused tracks. That's Agile Business for those working with businesses and organizations, Agile Product for product managers, product owners and innovators and Agile Developer for the builders making Agile work in practice. The coders, the testers, the designers, the producers, the Scrum masters, you name it. If you join, you will meet over 200 agile professionals from all over the world. People who just like you, want to grow, want to share and want to learn by challenging the ideas that don't work anymore. At the Global Agile Summit, you'll get new connections, fresh ideas and the energy to take your own Agile to the next level. And who knows, maybe even find your next career opportunity. So don't miss out. Check out the full program and grab your ticket now@globalagile summit.com I'm really looking forward to seeing you all in Tallinn, Estonia in May. I'll see you there.