Podcast Summary: Search Engine

Episode Title: A Perfectly Average Anomaly
Host: PJ Vogt
Date: December 19, 2025

Main Theme / Purpose

In this irreverent, highly investigative episode, host PJ Vogt explores a very specific yet surprisingly widespread phenomenon: why do (some) men consistently get flagged for pat-downs in the groin area by TSA full-body scanners at airports—despite having "perfectly average" genitals and nothing hidden? What begins as one man's awkward question soon unravels into an odd mystery involving multiple men, technical rabbit holes, and even first-person airport experiments. The purpose: to solve this quirky riddle and try to understand how the machines we rely on sometimes work in incomprehensible ways—and what that says about technology and ourselves.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Origin: An Awkward Mystery (03:51–10:21)

• Listener "Travis" (pseudonym) first writes in, describing his TSA experience: every time he goes through airport body scanners, a box appears over his groin and anus on the screen, leading to repeated public pat-downs.
  • Quote: “Most times there is a box on the front and a box on the back. The box on the front is directly over my dick… On the back, there's like another little box that's directly on my anus.” (06:14 – 06:40)
• Travis describes feeling isolated, assuming this must happen to everyone, but friends (and his partner) are bewildered.

2. Others Come Forward: It's Not Just Travis (11:17–15:57)

• "Silas" emails with a nearly identical story. Same boxes, same embarrassing pat-downs, same average anatomy, and also gay.
  • Quote: “It seems like the probability... are pretty low that the two people for whom it's happening... can confirm that they have normal sized genitals...” (12:53 – 13:22)
• A third listener, “Keller,” straight, also writes in a couple months later with the same issue, again insisting “I've got a normal penis.”
  • Quote: “Yeah. I've got a normal penis.” (15:40)
• PJ notes the strange coincidence: three men, mostly gay but not all, identifying as "average" in the groin department, all uniquely triggering the TSA's alarms.

3. Theories From the Internet: Big Dongs, Sweat, and Scar Tissue (20:45–25:59)

• PJ investigates Reddit threads, articles, and questionable sources.
  • The dominant theory: Only men with unusually large penises get flagged—discussed humorously but discounted by all three listeners based on self-knowledge.
  • Other theories explored online: deodorant, scar tissue, types of clothing.
  • Quote: “For all the bullshitting AIs do, I think they learned it from us.” (24:10) — PJ on internet “expert” commentary

4. Technology Deep Dive: How the Scanners Work (25:59–43:15)

• Doug McMaken, the engineer who led the original millimeter wave scanner project, explains:
  • Millimeter wave technology bounces high-frequency radio waves; it sees through clothing, detecting anomalies by comparing a scan to "expected" body shapes.
  • The original version gave TSA a blurry nude image; privacy backlash led to a switch to computerized “gingerbread man” avatars with boxes.
  • “Corner traps” (angles on the body where waves bounce) can create false positives, but usually in underarms or similar areas. Clothing and sweat could also affect detection.
  • Quote (Doug): “There could be the software not taking into consideration the geometry or what we call corner traps on the body that create anomalies or artifacts...” (39:01)

5. Swamp Crotch: The Sweat Hypothesis (43:41–55:10)

• Recent media stories point to “swamp crotch” (sweaty groin) being a culprit for scanner errors.
  • PJ and team devise a test: PJ goes to the airport, soaks his underwear in sink water, and walks through the scanner.
  • Result: Immediate double alarm and pat-down.
    • Memorable moment: “As I said, I made myself very wet… My fly [was] unzipped. So the guy just looks at me and goes, 'Bro, what is this?'” (53:20)
• Senior producer Garrett Graham repeats the experiment with “realistic” moisture (sweat-level): again gets flagged, confirming their suspicion.

6. Listener Replication: Desert Crotch and Final Results (55:56–59:01)

• The show asks Travis and Silas to dry thoroughly before their next flights.
  • Both report: No alarms/pat-downs.
    • Travis: “I did not get a box over my dick. I didn't get a box over my ass. I just walked out like a normal person. All it took was a stop at the bathroom to dry off my genitals and then change into shorts and a short sleeve shirt and fresh underwear. I’m a free man.” (56:07)
• Travis tries going through security again to verify—gets flagged. Keller, the third listener, tries “desert crotch” and is still flagged. Inconclusive.

7. Unsolved Mysteries and Larger Implications (59:01–end)

• Despite some evidence supporting the sweat theory, the “average dong anomaly” isn’t solved for everyone. The system’s inconsistency and lack of transparency leave the issue open.
• Quote (PJ): “As of December 2025, the TSA average dong anomaly remains unsolved. For now, the real Bermuda Triangle will have to be the friends we made along the way.” (59:01)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Silas: “I do not have a dying dong. I have a very average dong.” (12:41–13:22)
• PJ (on a meta level): “Had the US Government… developed a working form of gaydar that targeted average donged men? … It seemed unlikely.” (13:33)
• TSA Agent (to PJ): “Bro, what is this?” (53:20)
• Travis: “I did not get a box over my dick. I didn't get a box over my ass. I just walked out like a normal person.” (56:07)
• PJ (final remark): “As of December 2025, the TSA average dong anomaly remains unsolved.” (59:01)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:51] – Travis describes his recurring TSA issue
• [11:17] – Silas’ parallel story; realization others are affected
• [14:42] – Third case: Keller emails in
• [20:45] – PJ investigates online theories
• [25:59] – Interview with Doug McMaken, scanner engineer
• [39:01] – "Corner trap" theory explained
• [43:41] – Airport “swamp crotch” experiment conducted
• [53:20] – TSA agent's incredulous reaction to PJ’s experiment
• [55:56] – Listeners test “desert crotch” method; initial positive results
• [58:04] – Travis’ repeated experiments yield mixed outcomes
• [59:01] – PJ: “TSA average dong anomaly remains unsolved.”

Conclusion

In classic Search Engine style, this episode takes a small, strange question and turns it into an exploration of privacy, technology, and the mysteries woven into routine life. Sometimes, the machines that watch us are thrown off by perfectly normal bodies and a little sweat—no matter how much internet “experts” say otherwise.

For a few unlucky men with “average dongs,” the TSA’s Bermuda Triangle remains unsolved—but with a healthy dose of humor, curiosity, and good old-fashioned hands-on journalism, the show brings listeners as close to closure as possible (and perhaps reminds us to pack a dry pair of underwear).

If you or someone you know suffers this fate—or you work on the TSA’s threat recognition algorithms—PJ wants to hear from you!