Secondhand Therapy #042 Replay: Coping, Eating Disorders and a Helicopter Ride

Podcast: Secondhand Therapy
Hosts: Louie Paoletti and Michael Malone
Guest: Jenny Zagrino (comedian)
Release Date: December 29, 2025

Episode Overview

In this replay episode, Louie and Michael are joined by comedian Jenny Zagrino for a raw, funny, and heartfelt conversation exploring grief, eating disorders, body image, and personal growth. Jenny shares intimate stories about the loss of her sister, her ongoing relationship with disordered eating, the complexities of fat camp, and her experiences with body shame and parental expectations. The trio blend candid self-reflection with humor, offering listeners validation, insight, and companionship on the messy journey of healing.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Grief, Helicopter Rides, and Family Rituals

Timestamps: 06:28–12:21

• Jenny shares the surreal and darkly humorous experience of her family disposing of her sister’s ashes from a helicopter for the one-year anniversary of her death.
• She describes asserting her boundaries by refusing to board the helicopter due to discomfort with both the weight limit and her mother’s body-shaming comments.
• The makeshift contraption her mother created for releasing the ashes led to ashes blowing back into the helicopter—a moment simultaneously tragic and absurd.

Jenny: "This is the thing they don't tell you about ashes. They get everywhere." (10:21)

• The segment balances grief with laughter, showcasing how humor can coexist with pain.

2. Experiences with Eating Disorders

Timestamps: 12:23–15:25, 20:32–31:55

• Jenny openly discusses her lifelong struggles with binge eating and bulimia, her journey through outpatient recovery, and how pandemic stress exacerbated her challenges.
• She critiques how treatment often lumps binge eaters with anorexics, resulting in counterproductive communal meals and invalidated experiences.

Jenny: "One of the things you do is you have meal time, and everyone has to have a full meal... Meanwhile, all the binge eaters are like, we finished our food. What am I supposed to do in 25 minutes?" (13:13)

• The trio explore the cultural reinforcement of binge/restrict cycles, the normalization of “cheat days,” and the confusion and shame around what counts as disordered eating.

Jenny: "It's a feeling of being out of control when you're eating... To everyone else, they're like, that's normal; to me, that would send me into a spiral." (26:05)

3. Trauma and the “Fat Camp” Era

Timestamps: 15:26–19:08

• Jenny provides a biting critique of fat camps in the 1990s—low-fat diets, excessive exercise, public weigh-ins, and the lack of emotional care.
• She reveals the damaging legacy of parental “pre-bullying” and the way shame gets embedded even in attempts to protect kids.

Jenny: "Your mother who doesn't want you to get bullied, so calls you, tells you you're fat every day... so you'll lose weight so you don't get bullied." (17:07)

4. Restriction, Binge Cycles, and Orthorexia

Timestamps: 19:12–20:32, 26:05–27:42

• The group breaks down binge eating as a response to cycles of restriction.
• They introduce orthorexia, or the compulsive pursuit of “wellness,” as a newer form of disordered eating—when dietary rules become so rigid that they interfere with life and relationships.

Jenny: "If your eating habits are ruining your way of life... that's a disorder of some kind." (28:05)

5. Intuitive Eating & Letting Go of Diet Culture

Timestamps: 31:08–34:43

• Jenny explains intuitive eating and the process of relearning body cues lost through years of dieting.
• They discuss the importance of giving oneself unconditional permission to eat, gentle movement, and focusing on pleasure and satisfaction rather than restriction.

Jenny: "My body is my roommate. It pays the rent. It does what it's supposed to do. I don't have to love it, but it's here." (40:11)

• The hosts and Jenny admit that even knowing these concepts, the emotional pull of weight loss desires and body shame persist.

6. Societal & Parental Pressures

Timestamps: 43:28–48:55

• Jenny unpacks the origins of her internalized “I need to be smaller” voice—both from her mother’s explicit comments and relentless societal pressure, including media figures like Oprah.
• They discuss the toxic pursuit of thinness, impossible body standards, and the paradox of fat acceptance influencers now promoting weight loss drugs like Ozempic.

Jenny: "I had parents who... to this day, when I talk to her about issues with work: 'Well, you're the heaviest you've ever been, Jenny. Maybe that's why you're not getting work.' So I hear it." (45:39)

7. Recovery, Relapse & Coping Mechanisms

Timestamps: 49:01–58:22

• Jenny shares the difficulty and shame of admitting to her partner that her eating disorder has resurfaced, fearing judgment and that she is a “fraud.”
• She discusses how food can feel like the best coping mechanism for grief and stress—comparing the “Burger King in the car” moments to grounding rituals.
• The therapeutic challenge: navigating medical conditions (like endometriosis) that may necessitate dietary restriction, without triggering the eating disorder.

Jenny: "There's nothing that feels better as a coping mechanism than the addiction... for me, the coping mechanism of food—there's never going to be something as good." (57:41)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Humor and Grief

• Jenny: "In the one hour I am eating my sister, and I'm supposed to be on this diet. My eating disorder is really out of control right now." (12:01)

On Treatment Limitations

• Jenny: "I was talking about how I got sent to fat camp... like the whole concept... was traumatic and pretty abusive... but I wasn't allowed to talk about it at the table because it would trigger the other girls." (14:29)

On Diet Culture

• Jenny: "I was put on a diet at six... and I've been dieting since, so of course I have completely lost the ability to know what I want, when I'm full, when I'm hungry." (32:48)

On Fat Acceptance vs. Weight Loss Pressures

• Jenny: "A lot of the influencers are going on injections... and a lot of us in the community are feeling super abandoned." (51:08)

Important Segment Timestamps

• Grief & Helicopter Ashes: 06:28–12:21
• Eating Disorder Histories: 12:23–15:25, 20:32–31:55
• Fat Camp, Parental Influence: 15:26–19:08, 43:28–48:55
• Intuitive Eating Explained: 31:08–34:43
• Society and Shame: 43:28–48:55
• Recovery, Relapse, and Coping: 49:01–58:22

Tone & Style

The episode is unfiltered, funny, and deeply honest, blending vulnerability and laughter in the face of grief and lifelong body image struggles. Louie and Michael’s banter keeps it light even as Jenny leads with frankness about her pain and recovery. The trio reject easy answers in favor of real talk, and their chemistry provides levity and warmth throughout challenging topics.

Summary for New Listeners

By the episode's end, listeners will have encountered stories of loss, family absurdities, and the exhausting burden of eating disorders—presented with remarkable candor and humor. If you want to hear people grapple publicly with shame, self-love, societal pressure, relapse, and the search for peace with their bodies, this conversation offers both hard truths and hope.