When we talk about domestic abuse, there’s a narrative people expect.

This case doesn’t fit it.

In this week’s episode of Seeing Red, we examine the murder of James Self — a man killed by his female partner after what those close to them describe as a volatile and controlling relationship.

We look at how abuse can look different when the victim is male. The warning signs that are often dismissed. The cultural blind spots that make it harder for men to be believed — or even to recognise what’s happening to them in the first place.

Domestic abuse isn’t defined by gender. It’s defined by control, fear, and escalation.
And when we fail to recognise that, people slip through the cracks.

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The Murder of James Self: When Control Turns Deadly