Podcast Summary: Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen

Episode: “Brianna Wiest: Stop Sabotaging Your Life”

Host: Chrissy Teigen
Guest: Brianna Wiest (Author of "The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery")
Date: September 25, 2025

Main Theme and Purpose

Chrissy Teigen welcomes author Brianna Wiest for an illuminating dialogue on the topic of self-sabotage: what it really is, how it manifests, and how we can gently move beyond it. The conversation reframes self-sabotage as a misunderstood form of self-protection and explores practical strategies to interrupt these patterns and foster emotional resilience. Wiest shares deep psychological insights, relatable anecdotes, and a powerful guided visualization to help listeners reconnect with their highest potential.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Understanding Self-Sabotage

• Reframing Self-Sabotage
  • Brianna Wiest explains self-sabotage as an act of misguided self-love, not punishment (02:17):

    “It’s an act of self love. It’s you trying to keep yourself safe without knowing what exactly you’re trying to keep yourself safe from... it’s a self defense mechanism.”
    – Brianna Wiest [02:17]

• The Power of Feelings and Conditioning
  • Self-sabotage happens when we let strong emotions dictate actions. Overriding them can initially feel invalidating, but sometimes “you have to act in spite of yourself” (03:24–04:17).
  • Quote:

    “You have to act in spite of yourself… when you know it’s time to be brave.”
    – Brianna Wiest [03:59]

The Pause: Interrupting Automatic Patterns

• Wiest and Teigen discuss the critical moment of pause between feeling and reacting.
  • Wiest calls it “your golden window of opportunity” (04:29) and encourages people to “practice the pause”:

    “If you can get one second in between how you feel or think and what you do, great. But if you can extend that… I can let things go for an hour or a day or a week and come back to them.”
    – Brianna Wiest [04:29–05:23]

  • Chrissy admits she struggles to extend the pause but celebrates small wins (05:23).
  • Quote:

    “Maybe a couple minutes. I can’t imagine a week at a time.”
    – Chrissy Teigen [05:23]

Subtle Forms of Self-Sabotage and ‘Upper Limits’

• The Concept of the Upper Limit
  • Wiest draws on Gay Hendricks’ idea that everyone has “an unconscious tolerance for feeling good,” prompting us to sabotage positives that stray outside our comfort zone (06:04).
  • Quote:

    “Anything new, no matter how good, is uncomfortable until it’s also familiar.”
    – Brianna Wiest [06:36]

• Chrissy relates, emphasizing how this shows up in addiction and recovery—personal comfort often trumps what’s good for us (07:09).
• Parenting Your Inner Child
  • Wiest likens emotional growth to “parenting a toddler—the toddler is you, and the parent is you” (08:08).

How to Reprogram Your Comfort Zone

• Override Feelings with Intentional Choices
  • Wiest explains the importance of letting the mind, not feelings, lead decisions, even if it means doing things that are temporarily uncomfortable (08:36).
  • Finding Authentic No’s and Yes’s:
    Real “no’s” feel neutral; if a “yes” brings anxiety and fear, there’s often something important buried underneath (09:46–11:13).

    “The no to me always has a little hint of a disinterest. And the yes that feels like maybe a no but is very charged—occasionally there’s something more.”
    – Brianna Wiest [10:48]

  • Chrissy and Wiest share struggles with setting boundaries and the pressure to always say yes (11:23–11:44).

Universality of Self-Sabotage

• Wiest describes how people from all backgrounds approach her with the same underlying emotional struggles—feeling like her writing was “written just for them” (11:53).
  • Quote:

    “I feel like you wrote this for me... I was in my own head.”
    – Brianna Wiest [12:36]

Breakthrough vs. Micro Shifts

• Why We Wait for the “Perfect Moment”
  • Wiest warns against the illusion of big, sudden breakthroughs. Real change comes from “micro shifts”—subtle, sustainable tweaks (13:33–14:04).
  • Chrissy jokes about “having a salad and expecting to lose 10 pounds” (14:01).
• Building an Internal Guidance System
  • Start very small and recondition your nervous system to get comfortable with change, instead of aiming for reinvention overnight.
  • Practical Exercise: Make lists of small things you genuinely like to reconnect with wants and intuition (15:01–17:37).

    “If you can bring yourself down to a gesture of change rather than seeking an entire life reinvention…I really think that’s the engine that can move your life in a totally different direction.”
    – Brianna Wiest [14:40]

The Myth of the “Perfect” Time for Change

• Chrissy discusses her tendency to wait for “perfect timing” to start habits and how small moments matter (17:37–18:14).
• The Universe Whispers Before It Screams
  • Wiest says most of us only change when “not changing is the less comfortable option” (18:14–18:58).

    “The universe whispers until it screams… If you can still yourself enough to hear and respond, okay, this is whispering.”
    – Brianna Wiest [18:30]

• Anecdote of five people who lost jobs but, upon reflection, realized they never liked those jobs—highlighting the value of listening before crisis (18:55–20:53).

The Need for Safety and “Playing Small”

• The Need to Feel Safe:
  • Wiest observes that the root of most self-sabotage is a “childlike need to feel safe” (20:53–22:35).
  • Chrissy connects this to her own life, describing her safe space as her home—a familiar environment (23:20–24:33).
• Growth Requires Loss:
  • Wiest reminds us “your new life will cost you your old one. Every time you say yes to growth, you say no to comfort.” (25:33–27:01)
• Fear of Being Seen:
  • Both reflect on vulnerability; Wiest says she now feels odd if she isn’t open, even though it once terrified her (22:42–23:07).
  • Quote:

    “The turning point for me was imagining getting to the end of my life and thinking, but I never did this because I was so worried about what maybe someone else would think.”
    – Brianna Wiest [27:03]

The Shadow Self

• Wiest briefly explains the “shadow self” as unconscious aspects of ourselves that powerfully shape our behavior if unexamined (28:13–29:28).
  • Quote:

    “The parts of you that... are even maybe more strongly impacting how you interact and show up in the world. In the way you are unconscious of them, they sometimes have more power.”
    – Brianna Wiest [28:13]

Toolkit – Guided Visualization: Meeting Your Future Self

(Guided Exercise: 29:43–33:42)

• Step-by-step visualization: Walk through a meaningful place, meet the self you’ll become if nothing changes, then meet your “highest potential” self. Absorb a message from each, then “merge selves” with your highest self and return.
  • Chrissy’s Experience: Chrissy finds it difficult to visualize her highest self (“it was just scribbled out and mangled”) but finds value in the exercise [34:10–34:32].
• Journaling prompt:
  • Wiest suggests asking, "What would my 90-year-old self do?" as a frequent decision-making compass [34:32–34:49].

Memorable Quotes & Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Moment | |---|---|---| | 02:17 | Brianna | “Self sabotage…is a self defense mechanism. If you can reframe it like that…it takes away a lot of that guilt and judgment.” | | 04:29 | Brianna | “That’s your golden window of opportunity…practice the pause.” | | 06:36 | Brianna | “Anything new, no matter how good, is uncomfortable until it’s also familiar.” | | 10:48 | Brianna | “The no to me always has a little hint of a disinterest. And the yes that feels like maybe a no but is very charged—occasionally there’s something more.” | | 12:36 | Brianna | “I feel like you wrote this for me…and I was in my own head.” | | 14:04 | Brianna | “It’s you doing one thing very subtly differently than you did before, and then just continuing on.” | | 18:30 | Brianna | “The universe whispers until it screams.” | | 25:34 | Brianna | “Your new life will cost you your old one.” | | 27:03 | Brianna | “But the turning point for me was just imagining getting to the end of my life and thinking…but I never did this because I was so worried about what maybe someone else would think.” | | 28:13 | Brianna | “The shadow is the unconscious aspects of yourself that are very much playing a role…but you just aren’t aware of.” |

Notable, Relatable Exchanges

• Chrissy’s self-deprecation and openness:

  “Anyone that listens to this podcast knows that I am big into self sabotage…”
  – Chrissy Teigen [01:58]

• Chrissy relating to feeling like a child seeking safety:

  “Sometimes I can’t believe I’m almost 40 years old, I feel like a little kid and I do want to feel safe.”
  – Chrissy Teigen [23:20]

Guided Exercise Timestamps

• Visualization/Journaling Exercise: [29:43–34:49]
• Chrissy’s Reflection on Exercise: [34:03–34:32]

Practical Takeaways

• Practice the pause: Even a second of awareness between feeling and reacting is progress.
• Reframe setbacks: Self-sabotage is often an outdated act of self-protection, not failure.
• Embrace micro-shifts: Sustainable change comes from small, repeatable steps, not dramatic overhauls.
• Consult your higher self: Use visualization or journaling to imagine your best future self guiding your decisions.
• Redefine safety: Examine your personal definition of “safe,” recognizing when it limits growth.

In Closing

Brianna Wiest and Chrissy Teigen deliver a vulnerable, actionable exploration of self-sabotage. Listeners are encouraged to practice self-compassion, tune into subtle internal signals, and use small shifts to steadily reshape their lives—one brave pause at a time.

Episode available on Audible. “The Mountain Is You” by Brianna Wiest is also featured on the platform.