Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen: Episode Summary

Episode: Joseph Nguyen - Don’t Believe Everything You Think
Release Date: June 5, 2025

Introduction: Rethinking Suffering

In this insightful episode of Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen, host Chrissy Teigen welcomes Joseph Nguyen, the author of Don't Believe Everything You Think. The conversation delves into the nature of suffering, exploring how our thoughts shape our reality and contribute to unnecessary distress.

Notable Quote:

Chrissy Teigen (00:26): "From an early age, we are conditioned to believe that suffering is inevitable... What if the source of our suffering lies not in the external challenges we face, but in the very thoughts we hold?"

Defining Suffering: Pain vs. Psychological Distress

Joseph Nguyen begins by distinguishing between pain and suffering, drawing from Buddhist philosophy and Zen concepts. While pain is a physical or immediate emotional response to an event, suffering arises from our psychological reaction and judgment of that event.

Key Insights:

• Pain: Immediate, often physical sensation or initial emotional response.
• **Suffering: Psychological interpretation and judgment leading to emotions like guilt, shame, or self-criticism.

Notable Quote:

Joseph Nguyen (01:55): "Suffering is essentially judgment of a circumstance that we went through... It comes from the inner dialogue that we have that is separate from the circumstance that we go through."

The Role of Thinking in Suffering

Nguyen posits that thinking, particularly negative judgment and overthinking, is the root cause of much of our suffering. He differentiates between thoughts (neutral observations) and thinking (judgmental and obsessive reflection).

Key Points:

• Thoughts vs. Thinking:
  • Thoughts: Neutral statements about reality (e.g., "I lost my job").
  • Thinking: Judgmental interpretations (e.g., "I'm a failure for losing my job").
• Overactive minds lead to unnecessary suffering by continuously ruminating on negative thoughts.

Notable Quotes:

Joseph Nguyen (03:55): "Thoughts are neutral observations about the world... thinking is when we begin thinking about a thought, like am I saying the right thing?"

Chrissy Teigen (08:14): "Peace is in the present. That is the only time it exists."

Evolutionary Perspective: Overthinking as a Survival Mechanism

Nguyen explains that our brains are wired to overthink as an evolutionary adaptation for survival. This hyperactive mindset, useful for ancient threats, now contributes to chronic stress and anxiety in modern life.

Key Insights:

• Reptilian Brain: Continuously scans for threats, even in non-threatening situations.
• Modern Impact: Excessive worrying about future uncertainties leads to unnecessary suffering.
• Indigenous Practices: Rituals and present-moment focus help mitigate overthinking.

Notable Quote:

Joseph Nguyen (11:52): "Our reptilian brain is trying to preserve us... in modern life, this leads us to treat every situation as life or death, robbing us of our own happiness."

The Human Experience Equation

Nguyen introduces the Human Experience Equation: Event + Thinking = Experience. This formula illustrates how our interpretation of events, rather than the events themselves, defines our emotional experience.

Key Points:

• Original Equation: Event + Thinking = Experience
• Revised Perspective: By letting go of thinking, Event = Experience, allowing us to experience reality without added suffering.

Notable Quote:

Joseph Nguyen (16:50): "Event plus thinking equals the human experience. If we let go of the thinking, it becomes event equals experience."

Practical Tools: The PAUSE Framework

To help listeners manage and reduce negative thinking, Nguyen presents the PAUSE Framework, an actionable strategy for escaping destructive thought patterns.

PAUSE Framework Breakdown:

1. P – Pause

   • Action: Create space by taking deep breaths.
   • Purpose: Ground yourself physically to counteract shallow breathing caused by anxiety.
   • Quote (19:03): "Pause and take a few deep breaths to ground yourself into your body."

2. A – Ask

   • Action: Question whether your current thinking is serving you.
   • Purpose: Identify and challenge unhelpful thoughts.
   • Quote (19:03): "Ask yourself, is this thinking making me feel the way that I want?"

3. U – Understand

   • Action: Recognize that you have the choice to let go of negative thoughts.
   • Purpose: Empower yourself to release destructive thinking despite fears of losing control.
   • Quote (19:53): "Understand that you have the choice to let go, the choice to stop thinking."

4. S – Say

   • Action: Repeat a mantra to focus and dissipate negative thoughts.
   • Purpose: Use affirmations to interrupt and reduce the impact of negative thinking.
   • Quote (19:46): "Say the mantra: 'Thinking is the root cause of suffering.'"

5. E – Experience

   • Action: Fully experience your emotions without resistance.
   • Purpose: Allow emotions to flow naturally, reducing their intensity over time.
   • Quote (19:46): "Experience your emotions fully without resistance."

Notable Quote:

Joseph Nguyen (26:41): "Try it for seven days. That's the most important thing you can do for the next seven days."

Personal Application and Transformation

Nguyen shares his personal experiences with implementing the PAUSE Framework, highlighting the profound positive changes it brings to daily life. He emphasizes the importance of integrating small, personalized practices to foster peace and reduce overthinking.

Key Insights:

• Morning Routine: Starting the day with meaningful activities that reduce thinking, such as spending quality time with family.
• Personalization: Tailoring practices to fit individual preferences to ensure consistency and effectiveness.
• Incremental Steps: Encouraging listeners to make small commitments that lead to significant changes over time.

Notable Quote:

Joseph Nguyen (27:10): "My kids are the funniest and the cutest first thing in the morning. So I would love that as a way to start my day."

Conclusion: Embracing Peace Through Letting Go

The episode wraps up with key takeaways on the importance of letting go of negative thinking to achieve lasting peace. Nguyen encourages listeners to adopt the PAUSE Framework and personalize their practices to break free from the cycle of suffering.

Final Insights:

• Choice and Courage: Choosing peace over control requires courage but leads to a more fulfilling life.
• Sustained Practice: Consistently applying the PAUSE Framework helps maintain a state of peace throughout the day.
• Self-Compassion: Extending grace to oneself is crucial in the journey towards reducing suffering.

Notable Quote:

Joseph Nguyen (31:32): "Extend yourself the same grace that you extend to other people."

Key Takeaways:

• Suffering stems from our thoughts and judgments, not external events.
• Distinguishing between neutral thoughts and judgmental thinking is essential for mental well-being.
• Our evolutionary predisposition to overthink serves survival but causes modern-day anxiety.
• The PAUSE Framework offers a practical method to manage and reduce negative thinking.
• Personalizing practices and making small, consistent changes can lead to significant improvements in mental health.

For more transformative conversations and practical insights, listen to Don't Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nguyen on Audible.