Brooks Wheelan

Summary

Senses Working Overtime with David Cross – Episode Featuring Brooks Wheelan

Release Date: November 21, 2024

In this engaging episode of "Senses Working Overtime with David Cross," host David Cross sits down with fellow comedian Brooks Wheelan for a candid and humorous exploration of politics, personal experiences, and adventurous exploits. The conversation weaves through a myriad of topics, offering listeners a blend of insightful commentary and lighthearted banter.

---

1. Reflecting on the 2024 Election

The episode kicks off with a deep dive into the aftermath of the 2024 U.S. presidential election. Both Cross and Wheelan express their reactions to the results, emphasizing the pervasive polarization within the country.

• Brooks Wheelan shares his on-the-ground observations:
  "I was reading the very small local papers, and they're doing their election things. Like, we talked to 10 people and got their opinions. And I said, the Trump to Harris signs are, like, 10 to 1. And also the Trump signs are angrier. They're just angry."
  (Timestamp: [05:05])

• David Cross adds his perspective on the enduring divide:
  "This is who America is."
  (Timestamp: [04:22])

The hosts discuss the anticipated prolongation of political disputes if certain candidates had won, highlighting the fragility of democratic processes in the current climate.

---

2. Rural vs. Urban Political Dynamics

A significant portion of the conversation delves into the stark differences between rural and urban voting behaviors, with both comedians reflecting on their own backgrounds and the shifting political landscapes of their home states.

• David Cross reflects on his Iowa upbringing:
  "I grew up in Iowa, and like in 2000, when he was trying to win, like, guarantee Iowa, he gave Dan Gable a presidential medal of Freedom. This is mid Covid. We're losing our minds. We're voting."
  (Timestamp: [21:11])

• Brooks Wheelan emphasizes the sense of being misunderstood in rural areas:
  "People go to the city because there's more. And I don't know if smart, because, my family lives there and I love them, but I don't know if smart's the right word."
  (Timestamp: [07:53])

They explore themes of migration from rural to urban areas, the cultural and political shifts that accompany such movements, and the resulting disenfranchisement felt by those remaining in less populated regions.

---

3. The Irony of Abortion Legislation

The hosts tackle the complex and contentious issue of abortion laws, using their trademark humor to highlight the contradictions and practical challenges of recent legislation.

• Brooks Wheelan muses on the logistical nightmares:
  "It's just like, the idea of like drive to a different state, like it's not up. I'm like, is a 15 year old that needs an abortion. Like they live in Central Texas. Like I can drive to fucking... what was the nearest one? Like Kansas for them?"
  (Timestamp: [13:38])

• They brainstorm absurd yet comedic solutions, such as high-speed rail and cruise ships designed specifically for those seeking abortions:
  "It's a fast train. So that's it. We'll have abortion trains."
  (Timestamp: [14:34])

This segment underscores the dissonance between legislative intent and real-world application, all while keeping the tone light and entertaining.

---

4. Brooks Wheelan’s Career and SNL Experience

Transitioning from politics to personal career highlights, Brooks Wheelan recounts his stint with Saturday Night Live (SNL) and the challenges he faced transitioning from engineering to comedy.

• Brooks Wheelan describes his abrupt entry into the SNL cast:
  "I was there for three weeks writing, like, pre. The pre. All the commercials. And then a week before Lauren's like, you should be in the cast. I was like, oh, great. Of course. And I'm dumb enough to be like, this is. Of course I'm ready."
  (Timestamp: [27:21])

• David Cross empathizes with Brooks’s experience, highlighting the pressures and unpredictability of a comedy career:
  "I cried in that bathroom. I cried with a wig on. Right there."
  (Timestamp: [31:35])

Brooks shares anecdotes about his colleagues, including interactions with Kyle Mooney and the high-paced environment of SNL, offering listeners an insider’s glimpse into the world of sketch comedy.

---

5. Adventurous Travels and Extreme Experiences

A substantial part of the episode is dedicated to Brooks Wheelan’s thrilling travel adventures, ranging from Alaska to Mozambique, and challenging hikes like the Inca Trail.

• Alaskan Escapades:
  Brooks details his extensive tour in Alaska, including logging visits to remote towns and capturing unique local cultures:
  "I went to Alaska. Did two weeks of shows all over the place. Yeah, I went to like McCarthy, then Juno, Sitka, Cordova, Fairbanks, Telkita and Sultana."
  (Timestamp: [36:16])

• Scuba Diving in Mozambique:
  Brooks recounts a harrowing scuba diving experience where he got separated from his dive partner:
  "I lost her. I can't, I can't find where she is. I don't know what's going on."
  (Timestamp: [49:17])

• Inca Trail Hike:
  David Cross shares his own challenging hike on the Inca Trail with Bob Odenkirk, emphasizing the physical and mental demands of such adventures:
  "It's definitely hard, but you do it and you know, and then it's just stunning the whole way through."
  (Timestamp: [70:03])

These stories not only highlight Brooks's adventurous spirit but also serve as a metaphor for navigating life's unpredictable challenges.

---

6. Personal Anecdotes and Humorous Exchanges

Throughout the episode, Cross and Wheelan engage in playful and humorous exchanges, discussing everything from lost glasses at Victoria Falls to misadventures in camping and hiking.

• Lost Glasses in Victoria Falls:
  Brooks humorously shares how he lost his glasses while visiting Devil’s Pool:
  "They let you kill stuff. They were cool about it, just gave it to the lions."
  (Timestamp: [55:51])

• Camping Fights:
  The comedians joke about minor conflicts during camping trips, such as debates over trail mix versus gorp:
  "I had a fight with Carl because he's 40, and he calls it gorp still. He's like, he's like, I remember that."
  (Timestamp: [72:27])

These lighthearted moments provide a relatable and entertaining counterbalance to the more intense discussions on politics and personal challenges.

---

7. Listener Q&A: Imagining a People-Free Earth

In a heartwarming finale, David Cross concludes the episode with a question from his daughter:
"What would happen if there were no people on Earth?"
(Timestamp: [79:09])

• Brooks Wheelan imagines a world where animals roam freely:
  "And each one, they're like, welcome to Chicago. Humans went extinct 30 years ago. A giraffe roams the road."
  (Timestamp: [80:03])

The response includes playful speculation about animals inheriting human spaces and the resurgence of nature, encapsulating the podcast’s blend of humor and imagination.

---

Conclusion

This episode of "Senses Working Overtime with David Cross" offers a captivating mix of political discourse, personal storytelling, and comedic relief. Brooks Wheelan’s diverse experiences, from the political battlegrounds to the wild terrains of Alaska and Africa, provide listeners with a multifaceted look into the life of a modern comedian navigating both fame and adventure. The dynamic interplay between Cross and Wheelan ensures a rich and engaging listening experience, making complex topics accessible and entertaining for all.

---

Notable Quotes:

• "This is who America is." — David Cross ([04:22])
• "We'll have abortion trains." — Brooks Wheelan ([14:34])
• "I cried in that bathroom. I cried with a wig on. Right there." — Brooks Wheelan ([31:35])
• "We're just a bunch of dudes in the car being like what." — Brooks Wheelan ([37:32])
• "Abortion trains. That's America's new." — Brooks Wheelan ([14:34])

This structured summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions, personal anecdotes, and memorable quotes, ensuring it’s both informative and engaging for those who haven’t listened to the podcast.

Transcript

[A]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[B]

I didn't realize how tall you were.

[A]

I guess so. Yeah.

[B]

When did that happen?

[A]

Last few months.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, just a bit of a growth spurt.

[A]

Yeah, 38 is when it happens.

[B]

Yeah. How you doing? Did you get any sleep?

[A]

Yeah, I was actually upstate for that. I watched like, results actually at like this little bar that actually ended up becoming like the. It was like the Democratic, like, committee for that county party there. This was like Bear Mountain.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It was. It was like really pleasant to watch it there with them. And then it got south.

[B]

Yeah, I.

[A]

Where'd you watch it?

[B]

I. Well, initially I was at Hartley's, right. And they had a little TV on that little table. And I'd been invited to this private gathering at a bar here in Manhattan that had like. Like the owners had shut it down and they were just having a watch party, which I had zero interest in.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And my wife, who knows, all those folks I know, like four of them, you know, wanted me to go and had been talking about it for weeks. And then she said, listen, you don't have to go. We're both dealing with this in our own way. You can hang out. No worries. Okay, cool. Thanks. And she said, I'll text you if. It's actually pretty cool, but. Because I said, that sounds like my worst nightmare. A bunch of people, like minded people, you know, commiserating and bitching about.

[A]

Yeah. Me and my girlfriend. That's why we went upstate. We're like, let's get the out of here for this.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And then I. Here's my. Text my wife, who is. Who is still. Still holding hope. Oh.

[A]

At that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And I was. Because I went home and. Okay. She's like. I was like. I said, it ain't gonna happen at 10:40.

[A]

Yeah. I think.

[B]

And then she's like, I'm not there yet. And I was like, yeah. And then I wrote fucking Georgia.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is my home state.

[A]

Oh, that's rough. Iowa. I had that with Iowa.

[B]

1106. And then 1107. This shit is over. I'm afraid it's really not, David. Remember it took days for those other states to come in. I was like, nah, no Covid this time. And then at 11:25, you know, she wasn't there yet, as her words. And I was like, honey, this is going to be ugly. And Congress too. It's over. I'm going to bed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that was my journey.

[A]

Yeah. I think we left. We left this place at like 10 and then went to like this hotel that we were staying and watched till, like, 11:30.

[B]

Yeah. And then it's over.

[A]

We'll just turn it off, and we'll wake up and it'll say it. And that sucks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So there you go.

[A]

But you were right. The COVID thing did it all up. And also, like, I was thinking about this, like, it would have dragged on forever if Kamala won, because Trump would be like, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies. And so, like, when a reasonable person's like, no, they got more votes, they're like, oh, okay, it's over.

[B]

Yeah. And that's a tiny silver lining, but a silver lining for. For what it could have been, for sure.

[A]

No, it's just super. It's fucking. And I'm like, the first one. I was. I was talking about it today, like, the first time it happened, I was, like, shocked. Yeah. I was like, no fucking way. This time I'm like, this is who we are.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

This is who America is.

[B]

Yes. I have been on the road all over the United States. All over. And we'll continue on Friday. I had a, you know, four. Whatever it was, four or five days off to come home and vote. And. And I. I told my wife. I was like, you're. You're not out there. I'm out there.

[A]

Those flags are everywhere. They're.

[B]

I'm out there, and they. And I'm reading the, you know, very small local papers, and they're doing their election things. Like, we talked to 10 people.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And got their opin. And I said, the Trump to Harris signs are, like, 10 to 1. And also the Trump signs are angrier. They're just angry.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And.

[A]

Yeah. Driving backstage, nothing but Trump or bus. Like, it's nothing like it. I mean, they're crazier, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Like, I mean, they're. They're just like, you know, Biden stuff that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That the left didn't have. And. And, you know, that's a. That's a strong force. Yeah. And. And there's a lot of them. And there were. You know, I was prepared for it.

[A]

Yeah. I. For sure. I think, because I was turing, too. I was like, this is gonna. He's gonna win. Because, like, you see what's going on outside of New York and la, and you're like, it's.

[B]

Well, I mean, it's. It's really. I mean, most of the. If not all of the urban centers went blue, as they tend to do. But it's. Once you start getting outside of the city and there's less, you know, Gay people and minorities and, you know. Yeah, it was. I. I was completely prepared, not surprised. And as you said, this is who we are. And I know that's who we are because I'm out there. I'm not, you know, it's. I'm not in la, getting my car, going to work, going to meet somewhere for dinner, getting back to my car, going home, or I'm not in New York, where that's how a lot of people feel. Whether those are for legitimate, whether the reasons they're feeling those things are legitimate or not. For me to say.

[A]

What part of Georgia did you grow up in?

[B]

In Atlanta or outside of Atlanta? It's all big. One big thing now. But it was little town called Roswell.

[A]

Okay. What, so it was rural when you were growing up?

[B]

It was, like, suburban rural.

[A]

Yeah, because I grew up in Iowa and, like, so I get, like, their point of view of, like, nobody thinks about us. Like, I don't. I mean, I don't get it, because they do think about them, but I just understand, like, how Iowa feels. And, like, Iowa used to be kind of flip. Like, it was a swing state. Now it's hard. Red.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And it's just like, in my head, what happened was everybody who's smart moved out of Iowa. Like, me and my friends.

[B]

Well, that happens everywhere. People go to the city because there's more. And I don't know if smart, because.

[A]

My family lives there and I love.

[B]

Them, but I don't know if smart's the right word. But people who have aspirations, people who are. Want to do things that you simply can't do and with the limitations of a rural community.

[A]

Yeah, for sure. You're totally right. And that was. That's like. I don't know. I get to talk shit on Iowa because I lived there for 22 years.

[B]

And, like, oh, I've done plenty of shows there. I'm. I know what you're talking about.

[A]

Yeah, it's just like. I'm just like, understand how rural people, like, are like, yo, fuck the cities. And that's Democrats.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I was like a. I was like a Republican my whole life till I, like, left Iowa. Like, not like a hard Republican, but just like, yeah, I'll vote for Republicans. Like, till I was, like, 25, and then was like, wait, what am I doing? This was. That's brainwashed.

[B]

Yeah, well, yeah, that's. That's one of the more interesting things that is frustrating is that the people, you know, like Trump supporters who would accuse me of being of me. You know, I'm being brainwashed. I'm being lied to. You know, the Democrats and big government, blah, blah, blah. You know, they're full of shit. Like, I know that. Yeah, you are telling me that. And I do know that. But you don't believe you are being lied to when you are being lied to 24 7, my friend. Yeah, I know I'm being lied to. And I can, I've worked at seeing through, sifting through shit and you don't. You're accusing me of what I'm saying. No, I know I'm being lied to. You don't realize you're being lied to. Yes, you're a pawn.

[A]

Yeah, at least.

[B]

I know, I know I'm a pawn.

[A]

That's the most important thing. Yeah, that's very, that's a good way to put it. Like, yeah, we know that they're bad, but they're less bad than your bad.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but they're also, you know, and then it's really time to face facts about, as you said, who we are. This is who we are. A resounding, well, maybe not resounding victory, but a victory nonetheless. Won the popular vote. You can't go, you can't blame it on a archaic old fucking stupid electoral college thing that never should have existed. But we don't even have that. It's like, look, this is who. And it's a, it's. I don't think it had, I don't think it had much to do with the personality of Harris and. Or Biden. I think it was just a repudiation of that Democrat that, like, our groceries are expensive now.

[A]

Fuck this.

[B]

Oh, dude, I cannot wait until January 6th when the price of eggs goes down 80 cents. I am so excited about that. So on January 6th, the price of eggs and the price of milk is going to go down and everything's going to be.

[A]

Dude, I, I walked out this morning. It was, you know, 8:30 in like November. What, what is today? November 6th. It was 8:30 and it was already like 70 degrees.

[B]

Dude, I'm in T shirts and shorts. I told you, I'm in shorts and T shirts.

[A]

At least global warming's not real. Like, at least we have that. Yeah, this is.

[B]

Oh yeah, it's, it's, it's hot out. Yeah, no, it's, it's really hot. It's crazy. Yeah, and it's drill, baby, drill. First thing I'm going to do.

[A]

But.

[B]

I do now, what has Biden got to lose now that the Supreme Court has, has given a president immunity.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Blanket immunity.

[A]

Ooh, this is good. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, he's got.

[A]

Just do some crazy shit.

[B]

Do some fucking crazy, crazy shit.

[A]

Like he, there was like, when he was still running, he like tweeted, he's like, if, if you elect me, eggs free. Make eggs free. He was like, if you. Oh, sorry. If you elect me, like, I will, I will like roll back Roe v. Wade. And somebody responded like, bitch, you're the President right now. Like, do it now. Yeah, do some crazy shit.

[B]

Do it. Yeah. Well, he can't roll back Roe v. Wade.

[A]

I know, but it's like, just try. See what you're doing.

[B]

No, there could be a federal. This is what I think Trump would.

[A]

Try to do it here.

[B]

I don't think people understand and I hope this doesn't sound condescending, but. Because if you looked at the results, Harris was losing anywhere from 12 to 30% of the voters who voted to codify abortion rights in their state, but also voted for Trump and voted for Republicans in Congress, which tells me that abortion is a big, big, big, big concern for people. But a federal mandate is a federal mandate and your state's rights don't mean shit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you voted in people who want and have said they want a federal ban on abortion. So codifying your state's rights doesn't mean fucking shit.

[A]

No.

[B]

And that's so. No, it's a head scratcher.

[A]

I guess I lost you there. So you're saying people voted for.

[B]

Depending on what state. A number of people voted for Trump, voted for Trump and Republicans did not vote for Harris, you know, down ballot, but also voted on the.

[A]

To make abortion legal.

[B]

Yes. I mean, their state, if it was a proposition.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That is crazy.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And there were 10 states, I think that there were or 14 that had that proposition wild. So I mean that. I don't know what to say to that.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think people, I mean.

[B]

I mean, I guess that's just civics.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Lack of as.

[A]

Yeah, just the idea of like drive to a different state, like it's not up. I'm like, is a 15 year old that needs an abortion. Like they live in Central Texas. Like I can drive to fucking. What was the nearest one? Like Kansas for them?

[B]

No, not Kansas.

[A]

Oh, sure.

[B]

No, I, I think that's where, that's why we need to get high speed rail going in this country. I like that. So. So the 15 year olds who were raped by their stepfather can get an abortion and get out of there quickly. They go up to 300 miles per hour.

[A]

And also from LA to Vegas. That's gonna be a fun trip just for all those people.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Abortions in that. LA to Vegas.

[B]

They could do abortions on the train.

[A]

And they'd be quick, too. Yeah, It's a fast train.

[B]

It's fast train. They go up to 300 miles an hour. So that's it. We'll have abortion trains.

[A]

Abortion trains. Yeah.

[B]

That's America's new.

[A]

That's a really good idea. Abortion trains.

[B]

Yeah. And then. Or how about this? How about Planned Parenthood buys a cruise ship. Massive Carnival fun time cruise ship band.

[A]

Is gonna be the. Who's gonna be the band for the cruise ship?

[B]

Well, let me keep filling this in, and then you can decide. And then it's just for abortions. You go out into international waters. Oh, so you have a cruise ship that takes every 10 days. Right. And it goes out and you just fill it up with all the girls from, you know, Iowa and Missouri and Florida, et cetera, et cetera, and Texas. And then they go into international waters, and then the doctors can perform abortions on them.

[A]

But we're gonna have to. So it's. We're gonna need to disguise this so these kids can get on the ship without telling their parents in case their parents are like, no, you should keep the kid. So. So it does need to be some sort of party cruise, right. That they won from a local radio station. Oh, my gosh.

[B]

Are you 15 and pregnant? Then come on. Come on, Teen moms. Get on down here and Teen mom cruise.

[A]

Yeah, it'll be like a Guns and Roses reunion. That's what. You know. That's huge.

[B]

That's shitty, right?

[A]

Shitty. Parents will be like, yeah, you got to see Guns and Roses reunion all.

[B]

Under the go with you. That's a problem, though. I'll go with you. So it's got to be. It's got to be, you know, what's the Korean bts. Bts.

[A]

Yes, you're right.

[B]

Because apparently be like Bachman Turner, Silver Drive. Yes.

[A]

Bts, this is a really good idea.

[B]

Okay, cool. Let's get on it.

[A]

Yeah. Disguise a cruise. You email in, they'll call and be like, congratulations. And then you've got this backstory.

[B]

Yeah, well, you could actually. That could be a side gig for you, is being the DJ voice.

[A]

The DJ for the. For the sounds.

[B]

Sounds like this is Q107. Is Kaylee Reese there?

[A]

Congratulations. You have won. Is it clearly not really a thing a trip to see a bts. Your dad is invited.

[B]

For those who haven't surmised, we are recording this the day after the election.

[A]

What if it was. It was three months after. Still talking about it like that?

[B]

No, because then the price of eggs would have dropped.

[A]

Right. We would be great with it.

[B]

How many eggs do you think you'll buy?

[A]

I'm probably going to hoard them for when he, you know, because he only has four years maybe.

[B]

Yeah. If you think that's a really happening. That's not happening. No, he's. He, he's not going anywhere. Even if there's another person in the seat, it's not. He's not going anywhere.

[A]

Well, the egg prices are only when he's president. That's the only time they're done.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It's just like the guns thing, you know, like I've mentioned this before, but you know how, you know, a lot of people vote quite often on single issues.

[A]

Gun rights, portion.

[B]

Yep. Economy. Come on now. And immigrants. And mine's about eggs. And the price of eggs is very important to me. So that if, even though I know that multiple people will suffer serious consequences, I want to weigh it out. I'd like cheaper eggs, please.

[A]

How does this affect me right now? Not later or anybody else. Right now I want a cheap egg.

[B]

Here's the thing that's going to be so frustrating is waiting for January 6th. Do I not buy any eggs until January 6th?

[A]

How do you go on an egg strike?

[B]

Well, not an egg strike. Just like I know they're going to be like, if you, if you wanted to buy a car in September. Right, right. But you know that cars, they'll. They'll lop off five grand at the end of the year in December so that they can make their commissions and all that final stuff. Would you still buy your car in September or do you wait until December?

[A]

Well, they're not going to lop off five grand in the scenario that we're talking about. They're going to get rid of like 20 bucks off that car price. So you got. Do you want to wait for the. And I think you do.

[B]

I do want to wait.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It's important to me.

[A]

Yeah. No, it sucks. It's. But like, I'm like, I feel numb to it, like really A little bit. Just kind of like. Yeah, fuck.

[B]

Well, that's because we know what we're getting. We don't have the shock of. It's what you said. Like, there's. I'm not surprised in any. Any way that this is a clear. This is who America is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And I, I remember. Oh, God. I want to say three specials ago, I want to. I think it was when Trump first started running, when I was. I think it's making America great again. That, that tour, that set, whatever, that special. And there's a thing where I say, we know that at least 25% of the United States is racist. Blah, blah, Whatever the bit is, it's leading up to the bit. And I remember I had said initially I was saying a third, and I thought, you know what? That's too harsh. I remember, for real. And I was like, that. I don't want to say a third. I don't know that. That. I mean, definitely 25% is. But 100%.

[A]

25%.

[B]

And it's. It's actually closer to 50%.

[A]

Over 50. He got 51%.

[B]

Well, that's. There are, There are a lot of people who didn't vote.

[A]

Sure, you're right. You're right. Closer to 50.

[B]

Closer to 50. Yeah.

[A]

What I. What, what if you went back to January 6, 2021, and you, like, told yourself he's going to be president again? You're like, I just remember when that was happening thinking, at least we're fudgeing done with this guy. Like, I really felt that way. That, like, this is bad, but, like, you can't come back from getting cops, like, killed.

[B]

Yeah, he absolutely did. Oh, yeah. Well, he's the one who said early on, like, I could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue and I would still have plenty of fans and voters.

[A]

I mean, has to be the greatest snake oil salesman of, like, I don't know, at least 100 years. I mean, United States, like, he's been president twice. It's really hard to do. Yeah, that's not an easy job.

[B]

Well, yes, I give him more credit for the first one because the second one he had put into place all the mechanisms to allow himself to get. And he just scared people. And he. And people. It's amazing that somebody who's such a whiny little bitch about everything has so many people kneeling down and kissing his ring. Like, what are you scared of? This guy.

[A]

I flipped out.

[B]

Like, he's not a don. He thinks he is.

[A]

Right.

[B]

He likes it. But what. I mean, these are the biggest pussies I've ever soulless.

[A]

So I grew up in Iowa, and like in 2000, when he was trying to win, like, guarantee Iowa, he gave Dan Gable a presidential medal of Freedom, like Donald Trump. This is mid Covid. We're losing our minds. We're voting. It's like, I was just out of it. Just so there's like, this has to stop. Like, this. This dude and cove. It's too much. And he gave my favorite childhood hero, Dan Gable, Presidential Medal of Freedom. Who. Dan Gable was Olympic champion. Like, coach, University of Iowa. Just, like, my whole life, I'm like, dan Gable, that's the guy. Like, posters of them all on my fucking wall as, like, a kid. And Dan Gable, who did work really hard, became an Olympic champion wrestler. Like, was this fantastic coach. Like, raised Trump's hand up. Bloody God. He goes, now this is a winner right here. And I'm like, no, he's the op. Like, I respected you. He did the opposite of you. You worked really, really hard, and you're like, train hard, work hard. You can achieve your goals. This cheats so much. And, like, it. It broke my brain to where I went off on Dan Gable on Twitter, and then I just started going off on Iowa. I was like. And Slipknot. Slipknot sucks. Like, yeah. And then my brother called me in the morning. He's like, hey, you gotta take that down.

[B]

Well, there's one good thing about Iowa, and that is the. I think it's in Iowa City. The George's Tavern that has the steamed cheeseburgers. What is that?

[A]

It might not be in Iowa City, because I went to school there, and I would. I'm pretty sure I would know about.

[B]

It's Hamburg Inn number two.

[A]

It doesn't matter. No, I also might not know.

[B]

I want to say George's, and it's. I think it's Iowa City. That's where the school is. Yeah, Yeah.

[A]

I mean, it could be. Also, I just went to college there. And when you're going to college or you're not, like, eating out a ton.

[B]

Oh, dude, this is, like, they're a $25. This is, like, I'm sure, like, Biden prices.

[A]

I mean.

[B]

Yeah, no, they're, like, really cheap. I want to say it's George's. It's a great old kind of small, divey bar. And then they have the steamed cheeseburgers.

[A]

Okay. If it's a bar. Yeah, I thought I meant, like, a restaurant. Then I'm sure did this. Yes. Iowa City is the fucking best.

[B]

Yeah, I like Iowa City.

[A]

It's the my favorite, like, maybe city in the United States because it's, like, where everybody goes to be like, wait, this is like, we've been lied to. Like, it's just, like, this liberal little island. It's fucking great.

[B]

Yeah, that's where the Tattered Cover bookstore is. Is that right?

[A]

Once again, I did not. I was just drinking a lot. I was drinking so much and I wasn't hanging out in a lot of bookstores.

[B]

But you didn't pass it on the street or make.

[A]

I didn't. Dude, this is. This is. This is very real. I didn't know Iowa had a writer's workshop until.

[B]

Oh, the. It's famous.

[A]

I found out because I played a guy at Iowa in Girls because she goes to the Writers Workshop and I was. And she had done SNL and she knew I was from Iowa. She's like, my character's going to Iowa next year in the show. And I was like, for what? And she's like, you. Writers workshop. I go, we had a what? Like, I didn't. I was very tunnel visioned when I was there.

[B]

Yeah, no, it's very, very famous here. Renowned. Yeah, yeah. And the guy. Did you ever read Anatomy of a True Fact? Is that the name? Oh, shit. It's awesome. It's amazing. It's a. One of the writers is a, I believe, professor and teaches at the Writers Workshop.

[A]

Oh, see?

[B]

And at Iowa State.

[A]

Yeah. I went to see. I went to college for biomedical engineering. So I was just like in the engineering building the whole time or drinking.

[B]

Right.

[A]

There's no really middle ground.

[B]

Well, you could have. You could have engineered, bioengineered, something in between.

[A]

I chose not to.

[B]

Oh, okay. So you know how chlorophyll works and all that?

[A]

I mean.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Used to probably.

[B]

I don't know what bioengineering I made.

[A]

I worked in heart valves after college for a while.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah. That's how I moved to Los Angeles.

[B]

Oh, that's like a natural progression into standup.

[A]

Well, I was just doing engineering all day and then stand up all night until I got to quit engineering and just be. Then went to do.

[B]

But you wanted to do biomedical engineering.

[A]

When I was like 17, I was like, I'll be a doctor. You know, like we all do. And like a good.

[B]

I never did that. Not once.

[A]

I did. I was like, I'll be a doctor. And then I. A good pre med degree is biomedical engineering. You get that as your undergraduate. Gets you into. Helps get you into med school. But then I. When I was like a month into college, I was like, I can't be a doctor. I'm not that smart. And then I fell in love with standup and I was like, oh, I'll just finish engineering while I do stand up on the side and use it to, like, slingshot to New York or la.

[B]

Wow. And then I did that. It's not a common path to music.

[A]

No, no. Yeah. So then I did in LA for four years, and then things worked out.

[B]

And now you're sitcom ready.

[A]

Same dude. I got SNL from that job. I quit my job to go do snl.

[B]

And wait, you called your job? You just did the phone call?

[A]

I got the call that I was on snl and I was like, I gotta quit my job. And then I was like, I was getting demoted that day because I had been gone a lot. And then I went and told my boss. I was like, actually, you don't have to demote me. I, I, I got, I quit right now. And he was like, fantastic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then, like, two weeks later, I was like on the cold open of S Now, and they're like, what the. Like, do you not know how to act? I go, I never said I knew how to act. I was an engineer two weeks ago.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wait, SNL said that to you?

[A]

Oh, yeah. They're a little like, what are you doing? I'm like, I don't know.

[B]

So. Well, walk me through that. You went, so you got hired by.

[A]

Snl, Hired to write for the show. And then I was there for three weeks.

[B]

And did you put a packet together or.

[A]

No, they saw me do stand up, and then I just auditioned through standup and was like, I'll just be a writer for this show. That'd be great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then a week before the show started, I was there three weeks writing, like, pre. The pre. All the commercials. And then a week before Lauren's like, you should be in the cast. I was like, oh, great. Of course. And I'm dumb enough to be like, this is. Of course I'm ready.

[B]

And you weren't. And you knew you weren't.

[A]

Well, I didn't. Like, I'd never seen, like, a fucking TV show taping. I've never seen anything. And then the first time I'm ever. Then I'm in the first. Like, I've never seen snl. I know what's going on. And I'm like, the first guy to talk in the cold open. I was like, I.

[B]

And were you bad?

[A]

I, I wasn't that bad. I just, I went, talked, and then I went and stood in the back, and I didn't know what to do with my fucking hands because it was one of those, like, political rallies where I came up and I had, like, a thing to say. And then Went back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just spent, like, eight minutes being like, where the fuck.

[B]

Where did my hands go?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Should this one go here?

[A]

And then that was for the. That was for the dress. And then we went up and the only thing that got changed from dress to air is they cut me out of the fucking sketch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They're like, you're not in this. I go, oh, okay. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. And did you get back on ever?

[A]

Yeah, I got some fun stuff on. By the second half of the season, I was having a good time.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

But that's.

[B]

And it's a lot. That's a lot to jump into, get thrown into.

[A]

Sure. Yeah.

[B]

But what year? Who was the cast?

[A]

This was, like, a long time ago. They had, like. It was me.

[B]

Brooks, can I tell you something funny?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I had no idea you were on snl.

[A]

I wasn't on very much.

[B]

I know. I mean, this is.

[A]

Why would. You know?

[B]

Good point.

[A]

Yeah. Point.

[B]

We've talked a bunch, though. We both. I'd, like, go to the same bar.

[A]

Yeah. I try to make it. I try not to. I talked about it a lot for probably the year after I got fired and then was like, I gotta stop talking about this fucking place.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, I did it with, like, my roommates were. Our dressing. Roommates were like, Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney. We came in the year that they brought in a bunch of new fucking people, and then a bunch of us got bounced.

[B]

Yeah. But, yeah, I've worked with Kyle, too.

[A]

Kyle's the best.

[B]

Yeah, he's. He's great.

[A]

Kyle's so funny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, unique in a way that I'm like, dude, you don't have to worry about shit. You're the. You're the best.

[B]

Did you see his movie Y2K or Brigsby Bear? Brigsby Bear.

[A]

Yeah. I love Brigsby Bear, but he's got a new one coming out about Y2K.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, I like Brigsby Bear. That was fun.

[A]

Kyle's the man. Yeah, he. And he was just so mellow and easy because he just. He's got that. He had that confidence that, like, you need there that I was like, where is he from? Southern California. San Diego.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, he's great.

[B]

Yeah, I liked him a lot. I mean, the. The cast is always phenomenal.

[A]

Yeah, that's like my little. Like. I also put up, like, a lot of, like, barriers for that show to, like, get to me now. You know what I mean? Like, because I just don't want to know what it's up to. Kind of hurt my Feelings really bad, you know?

[B]

How long were you there?

[A]

Only one year.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And then, like, if something does get through all of these, you know, like, muted SNL on Twitter, it's like a really popular sketch, you know, and, like, the ones that are coming through that I'm seeing now are all like. I'm like, there's not a cast member in this. It's all famous, very famous people. And I'm like, know how talented the cast is. I'm like, you're telling me you can't find anybody in the cast that could do that? Like, we could. So I was just like. Because I would always be annoyed when they would bring in a famous person. Like, they don't fucking work here, you know, who wasn't the host. Yeah. So I don't know. The cast rocks.

[B]

Yeah, they're. They're. I mean, they. That's one thing. And you have joined a long list of people who were cut after a year.

[A]

Absolutely. Yeah. No, it's like challenged people. Yeah. It just took a second because it. You know, it's like my first. Like, it's like a big old failure when you're. It doesn't seem like it, but when it's you, it feels like.

[B]

Of course. Yeah. No, I. I understand that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And the. The highs must be so high and the lows must be so low.

[A]

Yeah, that's. I just did Seth Meyers, like, this week to promote the special, and I. My girlfriend came with me, and it shoots the same floor as SNL tapes, and I was like, I cried in that bathroom. I cried in that bathroom. I cried with a wig on. Right there. Yeah.

[B]

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[A]

Oh yeah, I have a special, people. November 12th, alive in Alaska. It's just an hour stand up that I did in Anchorage.

[B]

Oh, we talked about that when we were at, when we were at the bar.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, because. And then. Because I saw the. I, I also liked the guy. What's his name? Barry. The guy who did your art.

[A]

Oh, Barry Blankenship.

[B]

Yeah, Barry Blankenship. He's the best. I had him do my poster for this current tourist. He's great.

[A]

The best. Yeah. And then you feel. Do you sell them after the show? Yeah, I'll sell him. And like I love selling his art because I'm like, this is good art.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he did a great job. And. Yeah. So you went to Alaska?

[A]

Went to Alaska. Did two weeks of shows all over the place. Yeah, I went to like McCarthy, then Juno, Sitka, Cordova, Fairbanks, Telkita and Sultana. Like to kind of build like a. Basically I just wanted to write five minutes about Alaska if I'm going to be there. I was like, why the fuck would I not have Alaska? But I was like, I need to. You need to spend some time in Alaska. Otherwise you're just writing hack jokes. And then, yeah, the opening, the special is just like five minutes on like that experience.

[B]

But you, you shot it in Alaska.

[A]

I shot it in Anchorage.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. But I, and I shot all that other stuff, all that other footage because I was like, this could be a cool like companion little travel.

[B]

I love it. Yeah, great.

[A]

Like it's not that interesting because we're just fucking traveling the whole time. Everything's really far. So we don't sound like we were doing anything fun. Yeah, it was just a lot of us in the car being like what.

[B]

500 miles and, and, and what time of year did you go?

[A]

September, like 15th through the 30th.

[B]

So that sounds like it's pretty nice.

[A]

It was really nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been to Alaska a bunch. I really like it. Have you ever done shows?

[B]

Never. I've never been there. I'd love to.

[A]

It's pretty cool.

[B]

I think it is Literally the only state I've ever. I have not been to.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. In fact, it is the only state.

[A]

That's.

[B]

Yeah, that's it.

[A]

I put. If you want to do it, like, this place in Anchorage is rad. And it's good.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

It's called the Beartooth Theater.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. It would be so fun.

[B]

Yeah. No, I would. I'd dig it, I'm sure.

[A]

Yeah. You just built, like, go up there for two weeks, but don't do two weeks.

[B]

I'm not going there for two weeks.

[A]

I'm saying you go up there, but don't do a bunch of shows because. Yeah, I love it up there.

[B]

Yeah. I have friends who've been there. And, you know, talk warmly about it. I'm sure, like, visually, it's stunning, you know?

[A]

Yeah, it was great. I just had this. I remember, like. So we. I see you at this bar that my girlfriend lives above sometimes, and I have a story I want to tell you.

[B]

What's your girlfriend's name?

[A]

Lee. Lee. It's really cool, but one time we were. We were taking mushrooms, and we were going to go to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. And I was like, cool. You know, we took some mushrooms. Like, this will be fun. And then she was like, you know, taking a second to, like, get ready. And I was like, I'm just gonna go down to Hartley's and get a beer. And I go in.

[B]

Had the mushrooms kicked in yet?

[A]

No. And it was empty except for you and your wife.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I came in being like, david, what's up? And then sat right next to you guys.

[B]

Oh, you apologize for that. And I was like, you don't have to apologize for that.

[A]

And then, like, 10 minutes in, like, you guys are just having, like, a nice little talk, and then I'm just sitting next to you. I'm like. I started to freak out a little bit.

[B]

Oh, mushrooms.

[A]

I was like, I was going to the trees, and I'm just sitting next to David Cross, being like, I shouldn't be sitting this close to him. This is weird.

[B]

That was fine. I remember because the next time I saw you, you apologized for that. And it's. You know, when you're tripping quite often, you'll say, hey, man, sorry I'm tripping. And I was like, oh, I had no idea.

[A]

Yeah, it was. Anyway, that was like a fun. I was just like, what the fuck?

[B]

Why did I sit right here?

[A]

I was supposed to be looking at trees.

[B]

You're. But you're going to be.

[A]

We went to the trees. And it was. It was great.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what. I don't know what being at Hartley's is going to get you. No pre tripping and going to the botanical.

[A]

I just need to get out of the apartment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Yeah, I get that too. Yeah.

[A]

But yes, Alaska. Fun. You should go. I've been. Yeah. Three times. I love it.

[B]

And how long is the journey there?

[A]

The travel from la? It's not that far to, like, Anchorage. Usually, like, have to connect in Seattle.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So it's just like Seattle and then probably like five hours. No, maybe four.

[B]

Not too bad.

[A]

No, it's not bad at all.

[B]

I guess from New York it'd be.

[A]

It would be. It would be a.

[B]

And you probably still have to go to Seattle and. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But the. The Seattle, Alaska airport hub is fucking wild because it's a lot of dudes about to go up to oil rigs for the next three months.

[B]

Oh, wait, you mean it's a special part of SeaTac.

[A]

There is like.

[B]

There's. It's like the marine term terminal at.

[A]

LaGuardia maybe, but it is like a.

[B]

The people's own thing.

[A]

It's not like its own thing completely, but like, everybody there is about to do the same thing. They're all on the same plane to go to the same place.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And so it. They're. They're regulars because they do it, you know, like one month on, one month off, like, go to, like, Dead Horse and, like, do drilling and shit. And they're, like, getting really fucked up, like, before they get on the.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

No, I know. Like, you guys are nuts. Yeah. They got to go live in the dark for a month.

[B]

Yeah. Drill Oil or Deadliest Catch.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Going. Going Crab.

[A]

I actually said no to a show on the island where they. Where that is. It's called Unalaska. It's like way out in the Bering Strait. And they were like, we'd love to have you. Because I was just putting feelers out to do anywhere, but they couldn't promise I would be able to get off the island within time to shoot the special on Anchorage.

[B]

Because of the.

[A]

They're like, you could get weathered waves.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, I was. Long time ago, I had this idea. It's kind of similar to the Alaska thing. Not. Whatever it was. I was going to do it as a Kickstarter. Tried to do it through Kickstarter to go to McMurdo Station in Antarctica and shoot a special just in, like, their cafeteria.

[A]

That's really fucking cool.

[B]

It. It's. That's a great idea. Harder than you would think. And this. The. There were a lot of issues, but the single biggest issue is getting stuck there and not being able to get.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Come in or come out. And that was. You know, I had talked to somebody who was a journalist who was. Knew somebody at the State Department who was like, I think we can get you. You know, that stuff was. There was a. Kind of. A lot of hoops to jump through, but you could jump through them. But then when it got down to it, it was like you. The plane goes to. And you have to, like. You sit around until you can go, and then you sit around until you can leave.

[A]

And it's not just you. You need a fucking crew.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To shoot. That's what, like. Because the two weeks I did with, like, these really small towns was just me and a. And a camera guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we were micing ourselves because we're like, this is. This is Run and Gun. But then for the real special, you need fucking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

More people.

[B]

Yep. Much more.

[A]

Dude, have you read that book about McMurdo? I forget what it's called, but it's just this. I'll look it up and send it to you. It's just this really good, like, kind of like one year there and like, all of the romances that happen, the fights and the internal politics.

[B]

I read something about it. Maybe that's what inspired me. This is. You know, Werner Herzog did a shot. Something down there, too.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Went down there. But I definitely read something about it that made me think to do this. It didn't just pop out of the blue. It was like I read some article or. What was the book?

[A]

I can't remember what it was called.

[B]

I better read an excerpt. Maybe in. Maybe in Harper's or something.

[A]

Yeah. Johnny Pemberton was like, you're gonna love this book. And he likes cool shit. So I was like, I like Johnny. So. Yeah. And then I read it. I was like, this is fascinating. And, like, he wants to make, like, a movie. Like, he's like, this should be a fucking movie. It's just like, you're just stuck with all these other, like, really smart people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And. And stuck is correct.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, so you just.

[A]

You wait for windows to get in and out.

[B]

Yeah. Well, that's what. Ultimately, that's where I was like, I can't. I can't do this. And now I have a kid. And so even.

[A]

I mean, that's like, how that ocean gate Was rocking with its. Going down. To see the Titanic, like, you have to hit the right window and you just sit out on that boat.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah. You know the submersible exploded.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

That was one of those things where it's like, you go. You sit on the boat and if it gets good, if. If it. Everything has to go right, then you drop down. But you're there for, like, I don't know, a few days, like, on either side.

[B]

Wait, what?

[A]

Yeah, you have to wait for a window to be able to go down to the Titanic.

[B]

And like, because of what. What is the window?

[A]

Water is all fucking crazy in currents and shit weather and stuff. So it just has to be perfect conditions. And they, like, you know, whether I.

[B]

Can pretty much tell you it's going to be wet, that I can guarantee.

[A]

I think it does. Yeah. Anyway, they, you know, chanced it on, like, we don't know if this is grayed out, but some people were like, I really want to see it. Like, I've come like twice, so.

[B]

I didn't know that. I didn't realize that.

[A]

Well, also, I think, like, with the currents, because if it is cloudy down there, you can't fucking see it, you know, so it's just blowing all sorts of shit around.

[B]

Right, right. How far down is it?

[A]

Like, 30, 40ft? No, but it's cloudy, so you gotta get in that submersion.

[B]

It's not 30, 40ft. No. Thank you.

[A]

I don't know, like, two miles? I don't.

[B]

Shit. Okay.

[A]

No, that can't be two miles. It's not two miles.

[B]

That's too deep.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So somewhere between 30ft and two miles. Okay.

[A]

In the middle. I feel comfortable.

[B]

All right. I did. I've been scuba diving a bunch, and I. Yeah. And the craziest experience I had was I was in the Indian Ocean and. And they were like. It was like a friend of a friend of a friend who knew. Who had these. We were staying out on the. On a beach and this guy did dives and stuff. Expat. This is of Mozambique and what? Yeah. And. And so we're on the boat and I'm with a friend, this person from this group who I've known for only the couple days that a bunch of us were. It was two friends who were in the Peace Corps and Amber and I went to visit them. And so we did all these things for two weeks in Southern Africa. And. And I was the only one who. Of the group. And this girl who, you know, had a license. Yeah. And. And so they will Go. Yeah, I love scuba diving. So go. And the couple that are running it, we're all, like, suited up and getting ready to go. There weren't more than 10 of us. And then the guy's kind of freaking out, and his energy's weird, and he's like, all right, we're gonna have to do a. What was it called? Something I'd never heard before. And, I mean, I'm not that well versed. I'm not trained to teach people how to scoot. You know, I've just done it. And he's like, we're gonna have to do a negative. It was negative something entry. And, like, what? He's like, guys, we have. We have to do this now. And all of a sudden, everything kind of changed. And the energy was really kind of scary. And, like, what. And I don't even know what he's talking about. He's like, going like, okay, we're. We're going to line up, sit on the sides of the boat, and you're going to go backwards. And as soon as your tank gets water, you turn to the left and flip, and you head right down, straight down.

[A]

And you're like, what?

[B]

It's because of currents and stuff. And we're like, what? I don't even know what he's talking about. And then, you know, you see people do it, and there's no time to discuss. It's just, you know, I'm the fourth person there. So they're going in, they're doing it, and I go and do it, and I head straight down. You have a dive partner, right? So this girl is my dive partner, and we get down there also. I am very good about regulating my breath, and I can stay down a good couple of minutes longer than some other people because I don't, you know, I'm regulating my breath, and, you know, it's one of the things they teach you. And I head straight down, I find her, and then almost immediately, I lose her. And I can't. I don't know where she is. I don't know what's going on.

[A]

Is it dark water or.

[B]

It's cloudy. It's. I think also we all just went. We're going, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. Straight down. So I think we all make. But because of the currents, we're getting separated. And I. You can't tell that. You can't see it. You can't feel it. And then I'm. I've got, I don't know, five minutes, maybe less. I. In My head. Like, I can. I gotta look for her. I gotta look for her. If not, I gotta kind of cut bait and whatever, and I'm. I'm spending some time, and I'm clearly not. I don't see people in the group. I see the. One of the guys, the main guys, and. And I. And I check my tank after. I'm. I'm telling you, like, five minutes tops, right? And I. I burned through half my fucking stuff. And. And he gets me and he's. We're going up together. You have to stop.

[A]

How deep down were you guys?

[B]

Not that far.

[A]

Maybe 30ft to 2 miles.

[B]

Yeah, I. Honestly, I don't. We didn't really lose any color, so it wasn't like, I'm gonna say 40ft. Not a lot. Not huge. Maybe. Maybe a little bit more. Maybe 50, but certainly no more than that. And. And then. And then I'm sharing his. I mean, this. It. It clearly was longer than I thought, but it just felt so quickly and panicky. And I was. And then I. I went up because I explained to him what the deal was. I pop up. He's like, you know, go, breathe. Go. Go up. And then the boat will, you know, just stay there, and the boat will find you, whatever. And he goes back down. And so I pop up and the boat is a mile away. And in that time, so the boat is, like, anchored. I'm so far away. And. And it was. It wasn't. What was scary about it was this guy's energy. Like, guys, we're gonna have to go do a. A negative entry. And, you know, so. What. What is that? I don't know. You know, like, sit here, go in the tank. We gotta go now. We gotta go now. Go. Yeah, so that kind of, you know, already got my. You know.

[A]

And also, like, when you're out of the United States, like, a lot. A lot of times it's not as, you know, strict with the waivers and, you know, the, like, safety precautions. Like, that's what I realized. Like, well, this.

[B]

I mean, that was a safety precaution, right? It was. If we had decided. If we had, you know, just like, lazily gone in, I mean, we would have been scattered.

[A]

Yeah. But maybe you shouldn't have gone in at all.

[B]

True, true, true.

[A]

Like, I'm just saying, like, I don't know, like, it. Outside of Orlando, they're probably. Can't. Really. Can't go in right now.

[B]

I. Well, I was. I think nobody else had an issue. If. If I remember correctly, it was just. It was me And I.

[A]

Well, it also sounds like you. It only happened because you were worried because you lost your partner and you were trying to, like, make sure she's all right.

[B]

Yeah. And. And there's a point where you, you, you just have to like, I got lucky that I found that other guy because I would have, you know, I would have checked my. You know, and you have to, you know, you can't like, just shoot right back up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. Because you don't want to get the bends.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so you have to. Did you.

[A]

Did you watch that documentary, the Cave about or the.

[B]

I didn't.

[A]

The how they rescue those kids. This Thai soccer team.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

I didn't see it, but I mean, the story's nuts.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I didn't realize what they were really doing. Well until like I watched that and was like, oh, this is impossible.

[B]

But Elon Musk said they were. He was a pedophile.

[A]

Right. Yeah, Forgot about that part. That person. Not in the documentary. But I know that they're just. It's because it's for Disney.

[B]

You. You get to. You get to call heroes pedophiles. Right. If you. And what. What was his reasoning for?

[A]

I think he was, he. He was trying to create something like.

[B]

Oh, he was gonna go save him. Right.

[A]

He was trying to like, build something that explained that was gonna, like, go down there and get the kids and have him in a little trap or whatever. And I think.

[B]

Crap.

[A]

Yeah. Like, straight up, like, to bring him.

[B]

Out and like the pedophile now.

[A]

Well, the guy was like, the, the main guy's like, that's not gonna work. He's dumb.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like.

[B]

And then I think he also doesn't build things. He has people.

[A]

Well, for him, reasonable is like, we have to go now and we have to do this. And then I think because he just dismissed Emil Muscle. He's just trying to bang the kids like, so fucking crazy.

[B]

Well, he's our new vp.

[A]

VP and treasury, whatever.

[B]

Secretary of Treasury.

[A]

I thought Trump was saying that he's going to put a. Put fucking Robert F. Kid in front of all of the. All of the health care or something like that. Yeah.

[B]

Let's do it, man. That's what people voted for.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Get rid of Obamacare.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's gone.

[A]

What were you. What's Mozambique like? I've never been to frickin Africa.

[B]

Well, Africa is huge.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We were just in a little tiny little. We were in Botswana.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then. And we went on a safari, which is remains one of the three coolest things I've ever experienced.

[A]

For real.

[B]

Oh, it's the best. It's, it's. I mean.

[A]

And then they let you kill stuff.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I, yeah, I, I killed my girlfriend. And, and they were cool about it. Covered it up, just gave it to the lions. The body. No, you, you go. And we were there for a couple nights. Couple days and nights. It was fucking amazing. Just amazing. And, and we were in the Okavanga Delta and. Yeah, I think three, three days. Three nights. And then we also went to Namibia. Oh, we went to. Fuck. We're. Oh, God damn it. What's the place with the.

[A]

Victoria Falls.

[B]

Victoria Falls.

[A]

That's Tanzania.

[B]

Is it Tanzania? Okay.

[A]

Lake Victoria is on the edge of that.

[B]

Yeah. We went to the, you know, what was it called? The Devil's Seat.

[A]

Devil's Pool. I wanted to go to my whole life.

[B]

Yeah, I lost my glasses.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, just, Dude, I just like look that up. Because that's another thing. Like sometimes it's. The water's too high and you can't go over there. You got to go there.

[B]

Yeah, we, it's, you have to go kind of walk along, go through these rocks and, and, and kind of walk on these wooden poles.

[A]

Did you have to like fucking reserve it or you just rock out? Like, I want to go.

[B]

You go, you go. There's, there'll be a guide. He gives a guide, you know, whatever. You negotiate and then he basically, you know, you follow his path and, and you know, it's not easy, but it's not hard. And you just are kind of crossing this riverish thing and then you get to the Devil's Pool and, and then you're hanging there. All those famous pictures where it looks like you're off a waterfall. Yeah. And then I lost my glasses.

[A]

That seems like one of the, that's also a terrible place to lose your. You're like, I want to see right now. Well, probably very beautiful.

[B]

Well, I, I was able to see him for a, for a while, but.

[A]

Yeah, I, I, I'm, I'm fascinated by Tanzania and like lake, Lake Victoria and all that.

[B]

But where, Wait, we went to the, where's the place that. I'm just spacing on this, that had the, the crazy inflation where they have the five million dollar bills or whatever.

[A]

Oh, I don't know about that.

[B]

What is that? It's, it's. Who? Mugabe's?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Not Sayer. Zambia.

[A]

I mean, I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, maybe it was a year. Well, no.

[A]

$5 million bill is pretty good.

[B]

It's worth a lot of money.

[A]

It's worth a lot of me. Bring that to the United States. $5 million.

[B]

$5 million. And they. And everybody's trying to sell them to you. It's because their inflation has gone down. But the. They still sell them as, like, novelty items.

[A]

And I remember I went. I was in Berlin shooting this thing, and my friend who's like the director, we were like, went to the Wall. And, like, they were like, you can buy a piece of the Wall for, you know, €50. And I was like, fuck, yeah. And then, like, we. We had this.

[B]

It's not a real piece of the wall.

[A]

So then we brought it back, excited, to the hotel, and there was our German. Like, fucking German dude was like, you did. We bought sidewalk, guys.

[B]

Yeah. And we were. We're like, wow, how could you not know that? You live in New York.

[A]

Look, I know, but, like, me and my buddy, we gas each other up. We were both like, I want the wall. He's like, I want the wall. You know, you're with somebody who just talk each other into it.

[B]

We think they have enough wall to sell, I don't know, every tourist since, what, 1989 or whatever the fuck was done.

[A]

We also were. There was another place. They were like, we'll. We'll stamp your real passport with the Checkpoint Charlie stamp for $5. And we wanted that. So the Checkpoint Charlie is where you went from, like, east to west. Anyway, so we just ruined our own passports, made it look like we were going to East Germany in the fucking 80s and also bought sidewalk. But we convinced ourselves, like, regular sideboard wouldn't have spray paint on. Okay, this is graffiti from the Wall. No, dude, we were. So we got back, and we were just like, €50. Dude, I'm not even joking. We got big pieces. And then, like, we're too embarrassed. Flew home with them. Flew home with it and, like, still gave it to my girlfriend at the time. It was like, I got you pieces of Berlin Wall. And then, like, later, I was like, did she know?

[B]

Wait, did she go like, why do I want this?

[A]

I was like, I don't know. I'm just trying to pawn it off. It's not even fucking real.

[B]

When did you realize it wasn't real?

[A]

I think, like, walking away, we were like, I don't know if we should have done any of that.

[B]

Oh, but that's even worse. Yeah, you went right up to the point where you gave them €50. God damn it.

[A]

We just gassed each other Up. We're like, this rocks. Nobody's gonna believe we have part of the wall.

[B]

I certainly wouldn't believe.

[A]

Yeah, no, you shouldn't have. That's fun as hell, though. Devil's Pool. I want to go so bad.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's pretty. I mean, the. The actual, you know, safari is just one of the coolest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Scary. A little scary sometimes, especially at night. But, you know, you get a good guide, and it's just quite a unique experience.

[A]

Yeah, that sounds rad. I was just on this camping trip with my friend. We did, like, this bike packing trip, and it was like an overnighter, just us solo on these bikes with our gear, going where we went through. Over. We went through the Donner Pass. We were like, let's go do this. Sounds interesting. So we were, like, reading about the Donners, like, where they fucking. It all went down. It's really crazy. But there's this place called Bear Valley that we were camping that night, and I was, like, exhausted. We'd ridden, like, 40 miles, and it was like a huge elevation gain, like 8,000ft. And he was like, all right, we got to, like, throw our gear up in a tree. Like, we got to do. Do all the shit. I was like, do we have to? You know? And he was like, it's called Bear Valley. We have to.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It didn't. Didn't just come up with that name, dude. Yeah. Just will get dumb sometimes. I just got lazy and dumb. Like, I just go to bed, man. It's fine.

[B]

Did you. Did you or were you tempted to eat your buddy?

[A]

No, but we talked about it. Like, would you or would you not if, you know, someone died? I'm like, for sure. I'm munching.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Munching abs.

[A]

I'm gonna get in there.

[B]

You know that great fucking python sketch where they're lost at sea and they talk about eating and which one they're going to eat, and then the person who. They're like, well, we wouldn't eat Jones. He seems a bit game. He's. He gets insulted and. And then. And then you just find out they haven't been out there that long.

[A]

That's solid three days.

[B]

It's been three days.

[A]

This really happened on the. In the daughter party where they hadn't been gone too long. Like, not long enough, but they'd started kind of eating some people. And then these people, like, people who had died naturally. And then this Pat, this group went out to try to get help, and there was, you know, like eight of them. Or something. And one of the dudes was like, I'm too hungry. We gotta draw straws. One of us. One of us gotta die. So the other.

[B]

I'm too hungry.

[A]

Straight up. I mean, they are starving.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they have been doing cannibal shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, like, they hadn't killed anybody yet to do it.

[B]

Right. It was.

[A]

This guy was like, we gotta start killing each other. And they were like. Like, you know, they're like, crazy. They're dying and they're like, okay. The guy whose idea it was drew the short straw.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

And they're like, wait, this is.

[B]

How did they know this?

[A]

This? Well, some of these people survived.

[B]

Oh, of course.

[A]

Like. Like, half the daughter parties survived.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

And so they were like, okay, we're going to kill you. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Never mind, never mind. This is a really bad idea.

[B]

And then he's like, I'm not that hungry.

[A]

Yeah. He's like, I'm not hungry anymore. I'm not hungry anymore. And then he went to. He's like, kill me in the morning. Like, let me have one last night. And they're like, okay. They, like, agreed to this. You know, nobody's using sound logic. Well, that sounds like we're going to sleep tonight. Kill you in the morning. But I mean, okay, what happened was they woke up and they're like, we can't kill. We're not gonna kill that guy. But he'd spend all night being like, they're gonna eat me in the morning. He had. He lost his mind and went crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And just ran off naked.

[B]

Why was he naked?

[A]

He took all his clothes off. He got, like, hypothermia and.

[B]

Oh, well.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it's just like. It just sounds like the scariest, worst.

[B]

Like, that is to me, the idea of hypothermia. Knowing what hypothermia is. And, like, even if you wrote it on your hand. Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

You do clothes on.

[B]

Keep your clothes on. You're not really hot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or you'll die. Like, if you had that tattooed and you would still do it. Like, oh, no, no, I'm wrong.

[A]

This is wrong.

[B]

This. This tattoo is making me hot.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, man. That daughter party. That's some. It was. It's dark.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Real dark.

[B]

Yeah. Well, of course.

[A]

And then they all lived, like, in the same communities for the next 50 years. Like, who survived, like, fucking wild to be like, how you doing?

[B]

Yeah. And just, like, with a toothpick getting out. Oh, There's a little fucking finger. There's a finger that's been in there for a couple weeks.

[A]

One dude, like Kieselberg, like, fucking was just killing kids, straight up. And he. You know, they just. They didn't. Nobody got in trouble for anything that happened. Like, they didn't. And the dude was just living around San Francisco for the next, like, 30 years.

[B]

It's crazy. Wait, I'm sorry. He was after or just during?

[A]

During. Like, he was like. You know, like, couldn't be proven, but they were like, my child's, like, so, like, he's weak, and he's like, let him sleep in bed. I'll. I'll keep him warm in bed. And woke up kids so super dead. He's like, I'm eating him. Like that. Sort of.

[B]

And were they staying in the same place just waiting for help, or were they fro. They were.

[A]

They got kind of spread out a little bit.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because, like, one of them tried going further. And also, all of this is because they. A guy knew a shortcut that was not a shortcut, so that's how they got. And, yeah, they were just a little spread out. So it's like kind of two camps. One's by the lake, one's over in, like, Bear Valley where we were camping. And they're going back and forth being like, do you guys have, like, a saw? We need a saw. And they're like, we want sugar. So they're like kind of two factions. And then how.

[B]

And how big is each party?

[A]

Like, 50 and 40 or something. It's like a hundred people, right? Yeah, it was called the Indifferent Stars Above Us. It's this book that's really good, and it was fun to read, like, while you were there.

[B]

Yeah. Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'll have to check that out.

[A]

It was. It's good. It's. It's wild. I mean, sucks.

[B]

Sounds like it.

[A]

Yeah. But also, it's like, early Oregon Trail shit. Like. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

True pioneers. Pioneers of. Well, not pioneers of cannibalism that have been around a bunch but didn't invent that. Yeah. No. Can't lay claim to that.

[A]

No. All right. But I. I want to know what your favorite. So you said. You said top three coolest things when one of them was, like, this safari, which I want to go on. What are, like, two other things?

[B]

Oh, God. I mean.

[A]

I mean, I'm not putting you on spot, like, top three all time, but, like, that sounds incredible. I wouldn't expect you to be like, safari is one of the coolest things.

[B]

Oh, it, it is. It is so cool to be in. I mean, you know, this isn't like nature safari where you get in your car and you go. I mean you're, you're. You're with a guy that is from there and a tracker knows all kinds of skills that, that are fascinating. Like, you know, like a history dude.

[A]

And like.

[B]

Well, not even just that, but like he, you're, you're. You're, you know, in a sense in the middle of nowhere, right? And there's no roads, there's no amenities, there's no markers, right? So he. You can be in a field. You're. You're in the. You're in the like those like open jeeps with the big snorkel things on it. Because sometimes you go. Have to go through water and, and there's no you. He knows where he is. Like how, how do you know? We're in an open field and I can see there's a big termite hill. There's a bunch of. Sometimes you see like these 12 foot, 14ft termite hills. And. But there's no marker. There's no like street sign. There's no telephone pole. There's no. And he knows like here. Well, even though there's no roads.

[A]

Yeah. There's no right here.

[B]

We want to take a right and go like another. And he's, It's. But he was right, you know, it was cool. And then you're like hanging out with. You know, like there's a lion right there. Like I. That's eight feet from me.

[A]

That's fucking crazy.

[B]

And. And every. You know, crocodiles and. And the baby hippo.

[A]

Mudang.

[B]

The hippos were. We were actually in a boat at one point and the guy. I guess we went kind of where there was like a little cove, an inlet, and we started to go in there and then he. Very quickly he's like, that's a baby. That's a baby. We gotta be very quiet and we gotta leave and don't look at the. Cause the hippos are the, the most deadly.

[A]

Like that was like a fact. I got in like second grade. There's like hippos kill more people than bees. You know? And like I'm like, what? Yeah, because I seen my girl and that thing. Bees kill kids?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hippos live in Africa.

[B]

Well, yeah. Hippos, they'll come. If they sense that you're a threat to their kids, their pot, you know, whatever their. Their pods of those kids are called, they will come. And, and just I Mean, they're. They're ferocious.

[A]

They're big.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Dude, I'm about to do 18 days down the Grand Canyon. Like, like, I can't wait. Yeah, I leave in February.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Like, that's what I'm like jazzed to.

[B]

Be like, is that. And is that boat and horse and hike and.

[A]

No, we just get in all rafting.

[B]

All rafting.

[A]

Rafting down the Colorado River.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah, it's like we're getting in at the furthest point away you can and getting out the last point. So I'm like, I'm just kind of stoked to be like no service for like 18 days. Like.

[B]

Yeah, I did that. That's great. I. Bob Odenkirk and I hiked the Inca Trail this summer and.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How many days?

[B]

Four.

[A]

Dude, I want to go to Patagonia so bad. But I understand it's not Patagonia, but that sounds incredible.

[B]

Yeah, well, I mean it's a. It's a. It's hard.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's definitely the, the third day, which everybody tells you is like, that's the motherfucker is a. And it is hard, but you do it and you know, and then it's just stunning the whole way through.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Very beginning, like meh. You know, but you're in the big. You're at the lower part and then very quickly it's just. And it's non stop stunning. And. And you go through different kind of geographical zones and you're. When you get to the end of the. There's a four day hike and a five day hike where you stop after. If four day, you do these two passes, Dead Woman's Pass. And. And it's, you know, a lot of straight up and then straight down, straight up. And you're at 1.14,000ft above sea level. And it's not easy to breathe. It's not. And. But you. And it's a full day. Like you get. We get up at 5am and be walking by 7.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you're kind of getting to camp 12 hours later, basically. And. But the third, the night of the third day, when you're just fucking exhausted, you're at the. What they call the city above the clouds. And you are literally above the clouds. You're at these peaks and it's just one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen.

[A]

That's fucking coolest.

[B]

You're above the clouds.

[A]

So I have this idea for a podcast. The reason we were doing this Donner party thing seems kind of similar to what you and Bob did. Me and my buddy Carl want to go to every national park and do their hardest, hardest thing that's doable. It's a bitch, but it's called, like, harder than we thought. And we just want to go and, like, do this trail, which, like, yeah, great. It's doable, but it's not easy. And in the moment, you're like, what are we fucking doing? And then when you're done, you're like, that was the most fun thing I ever did.

[B]

I truly believed after that third day. And I was like, if you told me I had to do this again tomorrow, I'd say, no, I'm staying here. There's no way. You know, there's no way in or out except for walking. There's no. There's no option, but. And you have to walk the trail. But when I was. When we were done, and I was like, I just want to get a beer and I want to take a shower and. Because you're filthy, you know, and. And all those little things. I want a pillow. And. And after we'd done, it was like, that was amazing. I'm glad I did it. But I would not do that again. And then I don't think I was three days removed from it when I was like, yeah, I'd do it again.

[A]

Yeah, that's exactly it.

[B]

You know? I know what I'm getting into.

[A]

Yeah. When we came out of that. That Donner thing, like, we'd done, like, 70 miles on our bikes, which isn't that hard, but it was just, you know, we're just.

[B]

Well, that ain't nothing.

[A]

70 miles and going up. Going up 8,000ft and, like. But we're filtering all our water out of, like, streams and stuff, and we're just eating, like, dry, like, dried meat and ramen. And I was just like, I want a fucking Coca Cola so bad. Like, I just wanted sugar. Like, my body was like, ah. And it was, like, the best Coca Cola I'd ever had.

[B]

I brought beef jerky from. It's the best beef jerky in at least the continental United States.

[A]

Where's it from?

[B]

Alpine. Worst house in Honesdale, Pennsylvania.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. And I. I. It was the hit of the. Like, our guy. That's fun, you know, it's like. You know, David, I'd like some more of that beef jerky. You know, like, the beefed beef jerky. Like, yeah, have some. And I gave him a pack at the end, as you know, because I had extra. But I went there Specifically, I'm gonna load up on this because it's so good.

[A]

I'll be king of the king of the camps.

[B]

Yeah. And. And, yeah, we. We had a lot of beef jerky.

[A]

That's great. Yeah. I mean, the. That I'll eat camping. That I think tastes so good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, at home, I'd be like, I might never eating this, but, like, dude, ramen.

[B]

A lot of trail mix. Lots and lots and lots of trail mix.

[A]

So good. I got a fight with Carl because he's 40, and he calls it gorp still. He's like. He's like, I remember that. I'm like, carl, I can't go anymore. He's like, eat some gorp. I go, don't call it gorp because gorp stands for good old raisins and peanuts. I'm like, you're an adult man. Trail mix.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. It's also like the fights that you get into on, like, a camping trip that you look back and you're like, I was really actually mad at you. And it's kind of funny now.

[B]

We. We didn't have any. Yeah, we didn't have any of that. We also, because there's no. Well, there are other people there, but also, there's no. No time. You just. You can't. And they will. The guide told us numerous times, like, stop talking.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You know. Yeah, you need your energy and your oxygen. That's. You can't. Crazy. We're not. No talking for the next. You know, and we're just cracking jokes and dumb shit like that.

[A]

So, I mean, over this. Over this hour, you found out I did Saturday life. Yeah, I found out that you scuba dived up Mozambique, done this crazy fucking Inca Trail, been to the Devil's Pool. Like, yeah, some fascinating. I. You were like, I didn't know you were such an adventure, dude.

[B]

I mean, I'm not.

[A]

A lot of people do the Inca Trail, Mozambique, scuba diving, want to do standup in fucking Antarctica. You're. You're interested in traveling?

[B]

Oh, for sure. Yes.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes. And I really want to. You ever read any Bill Bryson?

[A]

Oh, yeah, he's from Iowa.

[B]

Oh, right. That's right.

[A]

Yeah. The first page of his first book is what turned me around on him because I was like, a little like. I hate when people complain about Des Moines because I'm like, dude, Des Moines, the big city. Like, I wish I was from Des Moines. And his first thing he says in his first book is, I'm from a really Boring place. I'm from Des Moines, Iowa. And I was like, fucking this guy. And then he said, the only good part about being from Des Moines, Iowa, is that I'm not from anywhere else in Iowa. I go, he gets it, right? He absolutely gets it. I love that dude.

[B]

I read the first one I read of his was neither here nor there.

[A]

Ooh, I don't know.

[B]

It's an early travel.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's after Notes from a small island, I think.

[A]

Okay, cool.

[B]

And. But he goes to Hammersfest, Norway, which is the northernmost point of Europe in the Antarctic Circle, to go see the northern lights. And that chapter, you know, it's a long. Because it's his traveling all over and that. And I've read this a long time ago, but I was like, I'm doing that. I'm going to do that. I want to do that.

[A]

My favorite is his is in a sunburned country.

[B]

I didn't read that.

[A]

It's just about. It's just like American's point of view on like the history of and the culture of Australia.

[B]

Australia.

[A]

And he's like, I like that dude. Because he's like. Looks at it from our point of view and was like, this is kind of weird shit. That stuff that people think is normal. I was like, no, like. Like, I just remember this one thing where he's like, a prime minister went out for a swim. The prime minister of Australia went missing, like in like the fucking 70s. Just went missing, never found his body. And like, people in Australia, like, don't even really remember it.

[B]

Like, imagine like was there foul play or just.

[A]

No. Went out for a swim. Deadly current, fucking gone. But like, they're like, it happens. Like, if a president in the 70s.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Drowned in the ocean, we would. It would be a big fucking deal.

[B]

I read. I don't know if they. If this is a joke or not, but it didn't seem like it. But that the explanation for their accent is because they're squinting all the time.

[A]

That's hilarious. That can't be true.

[B]

Well, if you. Oh, now I'm doing it artificially. Like, your voice takes a different.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I had a roommate from Perth and my way to get into. Because my Australian accent before I knew him was really bad. It's still not good. But it was, you know, the Steve everyone.

[B]

Like, oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's a cop. But then my friend from Perth, to get into his Australian accent, I would always start. He just starts every day. Every thing you say, he responds with azy. Azy. And it's just his way of being like, chill out. Chill out, no matter what. He's the most mellow guy I've ever met. Shout out to Zach. Easy.

[B]

Yeah. I would say, culturally, the craziest, hardest drinking motherfuckers I've ever been around. Our Aussies.

[A]

Yes. They're. And they vacation a lot.

[B]

Yeah. Well, you run into.

[A]

I'm just saying you. I run into Aussies everywhere, and it's just like, oh, these maniacs.

[B]

Yeah, they. They're living the good life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Brooks, thank you so much for coming down.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I end every episode with a question from my daughter, who is seven. Where. Here we go.

[A]

Great.

[B]

Brux. What would happen if there were no people on Earth?

[A]

Well, the. There was a show about this. Like, if people went away, what would happen to the buildings? It was like, on the History Channel. It was called, like, if humans disappear or something like that. And what happens in every one of these episodes, according to History Channel, all the animals get out of the zoo, and they're now in charge of that city. And the city has vines all over it, like, for real. And each one, they're like, welcome to Chicago. Humans went extinct 30 years ago. A giraffe roams the road.

[B]

Oh, because the giraffe was in the zoo.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How did they get out of the zoo? How did they get out of kitchen? The monkeys.

[A]

The monkeys.

[B]

The chimps.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. That must unlock them.

[A]

The zoo takes over the town is what I found out.

[B]

Okay. And it. Are there new breeds happening or are they all just within. Breeding within their own?

[A]

Well, they, you know, the adventurous ones are. Are, you know, see what's up.

[B]

Progressive ones.

[A]

Progressive ones, yeah. Yes. But, you know, can't have children. Doesn't work that way. So. Yeah. Like zebras and. Actually zebras and giraffes. I don't know how interspecies babies happen with.

[B]

But you're a biomedical engineer.

[A]

I do heart valves. I don't do biology shit. Yeah, well. So, yeah, the answer is the. The animals get out of the zoo. That's all that happens.

[B]

And the vines.

[A]

Vines grow up on all the buildings.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Lots of vines.

[B]

There you go. All right, well, thanks for coming down.

[A]

Thanks, David.

[B]

All right. Sense is Working Overtime is a Headgum podcast created and hosted by me, David Cross. The show is edited by Katie Skelton and engineered by Nicole Lyons with supervising producer Emma Foley. Thanks to Demi Druchin for our show art and Mark Rivers for our theme song. For more podcasts by headgum, visit headgum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and maybe we'll read it on a future episode. I'm not going to do that. Thanks for listening.

[A]

That was a Headgum podcast.