Transcript
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Caroline O'Donoghue (0:38)
Hello and welcome to Sentimental Garbage. A little commotion for the dress. I've always wanted to say that. Welcome to the live show, guys. That's for some reason in a church, I can feel it's like, I shouldn't be wearing this little underwear in a church. It's unbelievable. I can't believe how incredible. I can't believe. I just, like told some jokes about sex in the city like five years ago and now I get to stand in a church. Like, I'm like a Baptist preacher or something with the sleeves. This is unbelievable. And that you guys all came and that you further this delusion that I have. And as well, generally when I do shows of this size and in London, they're like on a Friday night or a Saturday night, but this is like, this is fully a weekday. Like, give me a shout if you came from the office. Oh, my God. I mean, you have so much of my respect. I mean, I haven't worked in an office in quite a long time, but the emotional dysregulation I used to feel on the days that I had to go to the office and then do something else afterwards, it's a harrowing experience. You're up and down all day. You really are. Because, like, you get up and immediately you're like, well, whatever I wear, I'm wearing until like 11:00 probably. So I have to factor that in. And then like, you go to the office and someone's like, are you doing anything tonight? And you're like, yeah, I'm seeing a live podcast. And then they ask what it is. And then you have to have the horrifying ordeal of being known. And then you're like, oh, it's like a pop culture thing. And then you can see the light fading from their eyes. But then if, like, you work in a client facing role, that means if you're on calls with your clients for the rest, with your colleagues for the rest of the day, they'll be like, oh, And Gina's going to a podcast later. And then you have to sort of prove yourself as like the millennial insider. Yes, she told jokes about sex in the city during the pandemic. And now I'm booked in for life for some reason. But I took risks today as well. I have a steam today in Lewisham. I've lived in Lewisham for most of the time that I've lived in London and I love it there. I love how close you are to nature, I love being in southeast London, I love the pubs, I love how weird everyone is. But even I can admit that when you think luxury spa experiences, you don't generally think the London borough of Lewisham. And so like when you find out that there's. I've been getting over this flu all weekend, I was like, oh, I'm really conscious that tonight what if I'm like all phlegmy and manky and gross and someone said, well, you should find a steam room. I was like, that's a great idea. Found a steam room in Lewisham. And it was like a Turkish hammam experience. If anyone has been to, they're great, right? We've all been to one, we all have a mum. We've all been away with our mum somewhere. And like, you need to fill the days with museum gift shops and Turkish spa experiences. So I'm familiar. But it was from the get go. It was extremely unusual because I went and I was immediately shown into this waiting room because they can have a certain amount of people in the hammam at a certain amount of time. And in there was these two Russian women eating a birthday cake off a bench. And like I'm like, so like, this is not a pre prepared bit. This actually happened today and I'm still processing it in real time. So they are eating a birthday cake off a bench and they're sitting on like low chairs and I'm in there with them and it's like, it's such a small, small space that there's like no choice for us to talk to each other. And it turns out that like, you know, it's a woman and she's like in her mid-50s and she's there with her mother whose birthday it is. And you know, you guys have heard me do Russian accents on the pod before, so I feel like I'm allowed do this. But it was like, yes, mom, birthday today it is time for massage. And like, you know, it was really nice. And we were talking for ages because my appointment kept getting delayed and delayed and it Was getting really awkward and we were just talking and she was like, oh, do you have any children? I was like, oh, no. And they were like, oh, do you want any? And I was like, yeah. And she was telling. This woman in her 50s, she was telling me about children and child rearing and whether or not it was for me and the mother. Her mother, who was 80 today, was totally silent the whole time. And I assumed because she didn't speak very much English, that she was completely stony faced. And then when the room was finally ready and I could finally get up to go, Grandma leaps across the birthday cake, puts her hands on my stomach. This happened today. This happened three hours ago. And starts praying in Russian. And then her daughter says to me, oh, sorry, she should have asked first, but she is doing this. So you have baby? And I was like, oh, yeah, that was evident. And then she went, don't worry. Everyone she does this for, they have a baby. So it's just like a service she's providing. So now I'm like, on this stage being like, have I been knocked up by the spirit of Russian God? And it's weird because, like, you know when somebody is praying at you and for you and to you, to the same God that you nominally believe in, but in a different language, so you recognize all the beats, but, like, it's just. It's very strange, very frightening, but ultimately very warm. And I was like, oh, that's. That's something that's happened and it can never unhappen. So. And now you all have to know about it. So please go to your spa in Lewisham. You want. I have no real elegant segue for this, but I wonder, do we have any sentimental garbage merch heads in the house tonight? Oh, my God, I'm seeing some hearts. I love it. Very nice. You're wearing it very well over there. Yeah, so we did. We did like, a limited merch run for the. For War Child, who are an amazing charity. And there's gonna be. There we go if you want to. Guys want to buy a shirt or donate or whatever. It's been so amazing being involved with this charity because I spend so much of my time being like, you know, talking about pop culture and we're making up stories and all that, like, what good am I really doing for the world? And like, in. You know, it all just feels so pointless and so horrible all the time. And then to have raised. We've raised like, 14 grand. That's going straight into these disaster areas. And now, like. And now, like, Gaza you can finally get aid into Gaza, which for a long time you really couldn't, and then that's a big win, even though it doesn't feel like one. So just, you know, keep donating. Please buy T shirts for your boyfriends who don't want them. Buy them for the Russian grandmothers in your life. And please join me in welcoming my co host for tonight, One of my very good friends, Alexandra Haddow is here and she's even less dressed than me.