252: The Viral TikTok of a Stalker & Family Massacre... Now She's Telling It All | Fallon Farinacci

Summary

Serialously with Annie Elise
Episode 252: The Viral TikTok of a Stalker & Family Massacre... Now She's Telling It All | Fallon Farinacci
Release Date: March 17, 2025
Host: Annie Elise (10 to LIFE & Audioboom Studios)

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Introduction to the Case

In this emotional and deeply personal episode of Serialously with Annie Elise, host Annie Elise welcomes Fallon Farinacci, a survivor of a harrowing true-crime event that has recently gone viral on TikTok. Fallon shares her tragic story of surviving a family massacre orchestrated by a stalker who was once a trusted family friend.

Background and Community Setting

Fallon provides insight into her upbringing in a small, predominantly Indigenous community in Manitoba, Canada, consisting of approximately 300 residents. She describes her family life, highlighting her Métis heritage and the strong community bonds that defined her early years.

Fallon Farinacci [07:05]: "We lived in a family home with my parents, my older brother Carson, and my younger brother Clinton. Our community felt like home, with everyone knowing each other's business."

The tight-knit nature of the community meant that everyone was familiar with one another, fostering both a sense of belonging and, paradoxically, vulnerability when betrayal struck.

Introduction of the Stalker

The stalker, a childhood friend of Fallon's father, was a known bully with a history of alcohol abuse and violent behavior. Despite occasional interventions by the community and the church to help him "get back on the straight and narrow," his fixation on Fallon's mother escalated over time.

Fallon Farinacci [09:34]: "He was a drinker, violent, with prior convictions mostly related to drinking and driving. Yet, he was also part of our community."

Escalation of Threats

In 1992, tensions reached a boiling point when the stalker made explicit threats against Fallon's mother, warning her that she wouldn't survive to see her next birthday. Fallon's mother, recognizing the severity of the threat, contacted the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) for help.

Fallon Farinacci [13:18]: "My mom called the RCMP, taking the threat very seriously, especially knowing his past violent behavior."

Hostage Situation and Police Negligence

On the night of January 26, 1993, the stalker entered the Paul family home armed with a .22 caliber sawed-off rifle. He held failure clauses during the RCMP response, leading to delayed intervention. The initial 911 call at 2:30 AM wasn't acted upon promptly due to a miscommunication that caused the constable to fall asleep after receiving the call.

Fallon Farinacci [47:57]: "The constable, who was a hostage negotiator, was supposed to secure the area and get backup but accidentally fell back asleep."

As a result, the RCMP didn't arrive until after 8:30 AM, by which time the tragic events had unfolded. During the hostage ordeal, Fallon and her siblings endured immense trauma, witnessing their parents being killed before the stalker took his own life.

Personal Trauma and Aftermath

Fallon recounts the immediate aftermath of the massacre, detailing the physical and emotional scars left on her and her siblings. She emphasizes the lack of proper post-traumatic care, which contributed to her brothers' untimely deaths by suicide.

Fallon Farinacci [02:43]: "As a result, both of my brothers have since taken their own lives."

Struggle for Justice and Systemic Failures

The episode delves into the systemic failures that allowed the tragedy to occur. The RCMP's negligence, coupled with inadequate legal protections like ineffective restraining orders, highlighted significant gaps in law enforcement's ability to protect vulnerable individuals.

Fallon Farinacci [23:29]: "A piece of paper saying stay back, stay away, which we know are not always the most useful tool."

Fallon critiques the justice system's handling of her case, pointing out how human error and bureaucratic inefficiencies exacerbated the situation, ultimately leading to the loss of her parents.

Moving Forward and Advocacy

Despite the immense grief, Fallon has transformed her trauma into advocacy work. She emphasizes the importance of platforms that allow survivors to share their stories, seeking to evoke change and support others facing similar injustices.

Fallon Farinacci [83:16]: "If I can use it, and I am going to use the outlet of my story, then what's it for? Because my story had used me for so long and now I'm going to use it to honor myself, my parents, and my brothers."

Through testimonies and participation in national inquiries, Fallon aims to shed light on the systemic issues affecting Indigenous communities and advocate for comprehensive support systems.

Support Systems and Personal Resilience

Throughout the episode, Fallon highlights the crucial role of support systems in her healing journey. From close friends and family members to community allies, these relationships provided the stability and comfort needed to navigate her grief.

Fallon Farinacci [117:53]: "I remember lying in the grass with a blanket wrapped around me, watching the sunset and thinking how the sky was so pretty, but I just wanted to die."

Fallon's resilience is evident as she continues to build a life filled with advocacy, family, and hope, despite the profound losses she has endured.

Conclusion and Call to Action

Annie Elise commends Fallon for her bravery and resilience, emphasizing the impact of sharing such a painful story. Fallon urges listeners to consider the broader implications of systemic failures and the importance of supporting Indigenous communities.

Fallon Farinacci [118:27]: "Without spaces and platforms like this to share, it's like I'm just thinking of myself. You are honoring me, my parents, and my brothers."

Annie Elise encourages listeners to engage with Fallon's work and support initiatives aimed at fostering justice and healing for marginalized communities.

Key Takeaways

• Systemic Failures: The case underscores significant gaps in law enforcement and judicial responses, particularly in small communities and Indigenous populations.

• Impact of Trauma: Fallon’s story highlights the long-term psychological effects of trauma and the critical need for adequate mental health support.

• Advocacy and Healing: Turning personal tragedy into advocacy work can be a powerful tool for healing and driving societal change.

• Community and Support: Strong support systems are essential for survivors to navigate their grief and rebuild their lives.

Notable Quotes

• Fallon Farinacci [09:34]: "He was a drinker, violent, with prior convictions mostly related to drinking and driving. Yet, he was also part of our community."

• Fallon Farinacci [23:29]: "A piece of paper saying stay back, stay away, which we know are not always the most useful tool."

• Fallon Farinacci [83:16]: "If I can use it, and I am going to use the outlet of my story, then what's it for? Because my story had used me for so long and now I'm going to use it to honor myself, my parents, and my brothers."

• Fallon Farinacci [118:27]: "Without spaces and platforms like this to share, it's like I'm just thinking of myself. You are honoring me, my parents, and my brothers."

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This episode serves as a poignant reminder of the enduring impact of systemic negligence and the bravery of survivors who turn their pain into a catalyst for change. Fallon's story not only honors her family's legacy but also advocates for justice and better support systems for Indigenous communities.

Transcript

[Annie Elise]

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[Fallon Farinacci]

Today marks 31 years since my family and I were held hostage by my mother's stalker and we witnessed him take both of my parents lives before he took his own. One of the RCMP constables that was alerted that we were being held hostage accidentally fell back asleep after receiving the initial call. The first 911 call went in at 2:30 in the morning and the RCMP didn't enter our home until after 8:30 in the morning and by then it was too late. My younger brother and I that just feet away from both of our parents for several hours before the RCMP finally entered our home. It goes without saying my brothers and I endured a lot of trauma and unfortunately we never received proper post traumatic care.

[Unknown]

And as a result of this both.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Of my brothers have since taken both of their lives.

[Annie Elise]

The moment I saw this I was immediately moved because not only what this girl had to endure and watching her mother and father die and be killed by a stalker who was also a family friend of sorts. This guy grew up with her father. They were best friends. They were childhood friends. So then to have that level of betrayal on top of it, and being a young child and being frightened and then sitting with your deceased parents for hours waiting for the police to show up, the amount of trauma that somebody would endure after that. She has done so much advocacy work. She is so incredibly brave. She was really trying to use her experience to platform better causes and champion other people. So when I saw this video, I was, as I said, immediately moved. I contacted her immediately and basically said, oh my gosh, your story is so powerful. I am so sorry for what you've had to go through, what your family endured. I would love to talk with you. I would love to give you the opportunity to share your story on my platform where you hopefully will reach a wider audience, where you can affect change, where all of these goals and things that you want to accomplish can be had. And so we had been talking back and forth for a little bit and she is here now. We flew her out from Canada. She is here with me in Orange county in studio today. And I really want you to hear from this case from her point of view. It would be so easy for me to share it with you. I have researched it and I have all of the details, but it's not as impactful in my opinion, unless you hear hear it directly from her, from her first hand experience. So I am very excited because today I have Fallon Farinacci joining me and she is going to talk us through that horrific night, the events that led up to it, and what unfortunately happened even after that nightmare that she and her siblings had to endure. So without further ado, let's bring in Fallon. Hi, Fallon. Thank you so much for joining me today. I am really excited to have you here. I already mentioned in the intro I saw the viral TikTok. I'm not even kidding. I haven't even told you this yet. I think I was tagged over a thousand times in this.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Oh, my gosh.

[Annie Elise]

And so I was incredibly moved the second I saw it. And I'm just so excited to speak with you in person. I'm so happy you're here. Thank you for coming out.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Thank you. I'm gonna cry right away.

[Unknown]

Don't do that. Don't.

[Fallon Farinacci]

It just means a lot. Thank you.

[Annie Elise]

No, I'm so glad you're here and I'm glad you're Having a good time and away from the cold weather. So that's good. So what I would love to do is just start at the beginning a little bit. I want you to feel as though you can be the one in charge of this. Telling your story, sharing what you're comfortable with. And I would love to start more of just your childhood if you could tell me about that and then we can just slowly move in to the times of what happened.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Okay, Absolutely. So I grew up in a tiny, predominantly indigenous community in Manitoba. So in Canada, this community has approximately, approximately 300 people. It's still holding strong at 300 people.

[Annie Elise]

Still?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Still, Yeah. I go home a lot. So for people who are listening and watching, I talk about two homes. So not to confuse people, I will try to make it clear. Manitoba is my soul's home. It's where I was born and raised. My parents, my father is Metis. So in Canada there are some Metis in the States, however, here they're not recognized as Metis. I believe they would just be under the category of Native Americans in the States. And I am Metis and so was my father. My dad was the reason and is the reason why I'm so proud. He was a very proud indigenous man and I'm forever grateful for that because I don't think if he was the way he was then I wouldn't, you know, have that instilled in me at such a young age. So we lived a, you know, what you would consider. And I, and I hate saying this, like a normal life, right? Like I had both my parents, we lived in our family home. I had an older brother and a younger brother. So my parents names are Morris and Cherry Paul. My older brother's name was Carson and my younger brother's name is Clinton. And so we grew up there around community culture.

[Annie Elise]

What is it like growing up with such a small community? I would imagine I grew up in what I thought was a small, small community. It certainly doesn't compare to the size of yours. So I always thought everybody knew everything about me, that I knew everything about everybody else. What was that like growing up in a community of 300 people?

[Unknown]

That's exactly what it was.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Everyone knows everyone's business to a fault sometimes and. But it's also nice because it's that community feeling. It genuinely feels like home. That's just where my, my father had grown up as well. My mom is non indigenous. She grew up in St. Catharines, which is the place I call home now. And that's in Ontario, just a little bit outside of Toronto they met and then they decided to settle in our little stache community.

[Annie Elise]

Okay, great. Well, so then to walk me through. So you're young, you're growing up there. What you had described as, you know, a normal childhood, a normal life. When what age were you when you were first introduced to your mother stalker as a family friend? Even before you knew he was dangerous.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Probably you're like younger than I can even remember. So he was a part of the community. So he himself was also raised there. And oh, I want to also mention when I say normal, I also say that to kind of get people to question what they think when something bad happens to someone, does it really matter if they lived in, quote, a normal life?

[Annie Elise]

That's a great.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Because I think so many people think, oh, that was deserving. Oh, that was like part of their social like group of people. And they don't question sometimes. It. It happens to everyone. So my mom's stalker, I honestly, I feel like I. There was in a time that I don't really remember him. He was in our life to a certain degree. Like I remember my people telling me afterwards that my mom's stalker at one point, because it is a Metis community, they are mostly Catholic communities. And so we were raised Catholic in this community and was as well. And that my parents had had the priest over even with him one time to try to help him on like the straight and narrow. I know that the media also coined him the town bully because of how he was within the community. I know a lot of people were scared of him.

[Annie Elise]

Now what was he like? Was he. You say get him on the straight and narrow. Was he a drinker? Was he a drug user? You say bully. What. He was just kind of.

[Fallon Farinacci]

He was, he was a drinker. He was definitely an alcohol. He was violent. A lot of. He had other prior convictions and I believe that most of them were all from drinking and driving. There were DUIs, drugs. I've only heard, I don't know for sure, like what it was that he was. He was using drugs wise, he would come over. I remember one instance, I was outside, it was the summertime and my dad was working on our deck actually, and he had come over and he was just standing outside and drinking or sorry, not drinking, smoking. And my dad was building the deck and I just kind of remember him there. I don't actually have any memories of him inside my home. Like even that dinner that was mentioned, I don't recall that dinner of him with the priest, like having him in our house. He was There. That's not to say that he wasn't. But I also remember another time he had given me, I want to say it was for my birthday. So it makes me think that this had happened right before, the year before all of this went down, that he had given me a package of temporary tattoos and I had found them at some point and I must have found them after he had threatened my mom's life because I found them and I wanted to put them on. And I remember walking out and asking her if I could put it on. And her, her face was just in shock. She was like, where did you get those? And I was like, from your closet. Cuz I remember I was like, in her closet. You know, my mama had all. She was like the fashion one. So I like all her shoes, her high heels and everything. And. And she was like, no, give me those. And she took them away. And I remember like that feeling of like, oh, I did something wrong, but not understanding it either. And it's wild because the whole tattoo thing TR into my two youngest, I don't know, or my two oldest. I don't know if you could ever find a temporary tattoo on them really, when they were younger. No. And I realized that only after when I started, you know, really thinking about my family's story. My youngest, however, he is covered constantly. But it's funny how those things, they.

[Annie Elise]

Just have a way of sticking.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And it might not be related, but I mean, who knows with trauma, Right?

[Annie Elise]

So, so you're. So your mother's stalker was a family friend, a childhood friend of your father's, Correct?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes, so.

[Annie Elise]

But not a close enough family friend that you would ever say he was like an uncle to us or he was close, he was just around. It was a tight knit community, came to dinner every now and then, but no core memories or big things that stand out.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I don't like. I wouldn't even say he came to dinner. That's how little. Yeah. And I say that I tried to use the term loosely with him being friends with my dad because I wouldn't say that he was friends with him, but it's one of those community things that, I don't know, maybe one person thought he was friends with him at one point. Right.

[Annie Elise]

But just so small and tight knit that of course you're going to be friendly and know everybody.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah.

[Annie Elise]

So at what point, to your knowledge, did things then start transitioning? He of course was an alcoholic, as you're saying. He was a bit of a bully in the town. And you know, had to get back on the straight and narrow. But when was the behavior shift where it went from him being friendly to people to then becoming fixated on your mother?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Right, so he had. Before he even became fixated on my mother. I know that there was a case where he had held a woman hostage.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Annie Elise]

Wait, what? And he wasn't ever arrested or held in jail or.

[Fallon Farinacci]

No.

[Annie Elise]

Okay, tell me about that.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, I think he was. I believe for that case he was arrested. And then they, the rcmp, there is a case that they had fought bail in 1990 for him saying that he was a danger to the community if he was released out on bail. And I believe that that is when he had held the woman hostage. But that news article doesn't mention that he had held a woman hostage in that one. So I don't know what the case was specifically. And so it was. Now Fast forward to 1992. And this is for my memory of when things started to shift was. I'm going to assume that before that he had done things to make my mom feel uncomfortable, to put up the boundary. She did this day because we, and I remember this, we got ready, it was just my dad, my mom and I and we were heading to Winnipeg. My mom worked at a hospital in Winnipeg and it was one of the physicians birthdays who she was friends with. So the three of us were going to this birthday party. I got really sick in the car and they had to turn the car around. And then I stayed home with my dad. I remember my dad saying like no, no, you go to Winnipeg and I'll stay home with Fallon. And so we stayed at home. And then it must have been the very next day because it coincides my mom's stalker and this physician had the same birthday. And so then the next day he called and said, you know, where were you? And he must have got wind that my parents and I or whatever, my mom at least were going to this party. And he got upset about it and he said, where's my birthday cake? And my mom said I threw it in the garbage. I have to go. Our community had a. A kids bingo that night. And she's like, I have to go. We have the kids bingo. And I threw it in the garbage and hung up the phone. And then he called back and she answered and he. That was when he told my mom that she wouldn't live to see her next birthday and that he wouldn't live to see his. My mom never made a cake like that wasn't. It was a way of like, getting rid of him. I need to get you off the phone. Yeah, like, I threw it in the garbage. I have to go now.

[Annie Elise]

What had been happening up until this catalyst of events of the birthday. Do you. Are you familiar or do you know, looking back, or have you heard any information about what that dynamic was like? Had he been just fixated on her? Did. Was there altercations with your dad, trying to be like, hey, you need to back off, Like. And I know your mom was setting boundaries. What did that look like?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Nothing. Like, they were. They were just, you know, they were a part of the community. And I don't know if it just started for him that it was getting a little more. Nothing that I know of that, you know, he was touching or. And that my dad had to, like, step in. It was never anything like that. It literally felt like it went from that extreme right away.

[Annie Elise]

Just that he felt, like, entitled to your mom's attention and affection.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And that. And that was it for him. He was offended by what she said, and he. He made the threat. And then right away, that's when my mom called the rcmp, because she was taking it quite seriously, especially someone like that. And who knows? Like, I think back, maybe she knew what had happened with that other woman being held hostage, or maybe there were other things that kind of had led up to it that made her feel uncomfortable. So she called the rcmp. My dad brought us to the hall still. So me and my younger brother went to that bingo, but my mom had called the rcmp, and I'm. I'm. This is me assuming that she stayed at home because my dad made a phone call while we were at the hall. And he couldn't have called the house that you would assume because they didn't have a phone line. So what had happened was my dad brought my brother and I to the town hall. He was there with me. And then he shifted us over in the middle of the bingo and put us with Ken and Debbie Bowden. And so those are my parents best friends. That's my best friend's parents. And so we sat with them. And I remember, like, just my memory is that he got us to move really quickly while the bingo was going on. And everyone was there, right, from the community. And so we. Then my dad didn't say, like, you know, you're gonna stay with them.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Fallon Farinacci]

So then my dad went and he called my mom. And I had always thought when I was younger that my mom had went straight over to my aunt's house that night, but she couldn't have because that aunt didn't have a house line. So she had to have stayed there in order for my dad to have called. And he called to say he's here.

[Annie Elise]

He was at bingo.

[Fallon Farinacci]

He went to the bingo later to find out that he had actually entered the bingo with a.22 caliber sawed off rifle under his coat.

[Annie Elise]

Oh my God.

[Fallon Farinacci]

So he was, he was serious, like immediately serious. So that's when my mom then went over to my aunt's house because that's where the RCMP had taken her statement based off of my memory of what had followed after that. Eventually I go to my aunt's house while these statements are being taken. But it's not unusual in a tiny community like that. I didn't feel fear because the, it's unusual obviously to call the rcmp, but it's not unusual to see them because one day they're community members and the next they're not. You know what I mean? So I wasn't scared by it. No adults made me feel anything to be worried about that.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah, you're young, I would imagine they're protecting you and what you're exposed to. And a nine year old isn't going to know something is dangerous or sketchy or that something bad is happening unless they're made aware of that. And I would imagine they weren't making you aware of that.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Of course. Yeah, it was never like a fear for us. Maybe my older brother, obviously he would have probably known the details. I think if God forbid, something like that happened, I would think that my older child would be aware of what was happening. But who knows, right? And so then I don't like, I have no memories of anything kind of afterwards. It's more all just court documents for the next month because I'm not made aware of it as a nine year old. And so what happened was he was arrested that night and he was brought before a judge. Now what happened was the judge failed to, with the threat of life, he failed to order a seizure of any weapons. And those officers never told the judge that. My mom and dad's initial worry was that he had a.22 caliber rifle. They were aware of this. Like, like I said, it's a hunting community. You just know like my dad would have known what kind of weapons he would have had.

[Unknown]

Right?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Like, just like my dad's best friend would know what my dad has because it's like.

[Annie Elise]

And why weren't the weapons seized? Was it because it's a hunting community and it wasn't a threat. Like, they just did not.

[Unknown]

They act on it.

[Fallon Farinacci]

They didn't even mention it when he went before the judge that night. And there's, there's, again, it's like human error is like a lot of stuff was kind of blamed on human error. So those RCMP officers never did anything about it. He didn't have a seizure of weapons. He didn't have a search of his home, and he was released on bail, even though the same RCMP, you know, dispatcher, whatever station had fought bail in 1990 saying he was a danger to the community.

[Annie Elise]

But because he was never formally charged with that or convicted, they probably couldn't use that to then further bolster this case, I would imagine.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Annie Elise]

And just for all of our US Listeners, rcmp, and you might know more about this, but from my preliminary research, it's basically your federal government that also does sometime act locally. So for us, it would be like our FBI. However, they occasionally will act locally as well because it's a small town. So that's how it works.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, they have their. So my community doesn't have its own policing. They have the rcmp, where Winnipeg, I believe, now has Winnipeg police, but they also have rcmp. All little rural communities have rcmp, especially westward and I believe eastward of Ontario. But then Ontario, we have opp. So that's our provincial police, plus our, like, local cities and community policing.

[Annie Elise]

Okay.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And also the. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police were put into place to control indigenous people. That was like the very premise of this policing ever existing in the first place. So now it's, I mean, it's still there and it does, you know, like I said, provincial and then community policing as well.

[Unknown]

So.

[Annie Elise]

Okay. Yeah, so he's released on bail. They don't seize his weapons, and he's basically effectively just out to continue to wreak havoc and stalk whomever he wants, make threats, and not having any sort of reprimand to that.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And it wasn't technically a restraining order. I forget what the, what the wording is, but there was a. Something like a restraining order put into place.

[Annie Elise]

A piece of paper saying stay back, stay away. Which we know those are not always the most useful tool. It's great to have it documented, but the only reason it's good to have it documented is for when something severe happens, it doesn't prevent the something severe from ever happening.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. Like my grandma, my mom's mom has always had a piece of paper is not going to protect you.

[Annie Elise]

No, of course not. Of course not. You would hope that Law enforcement would be the ones to step in and take those precautionary measures, such as seizing the weapons, doing something, keeping him locked up. And I would imagine, too, even if there was a restraining order in place or whatever that was, you were in such a small community, so how does somebody even abide by that? Because he lived very close to you as well, Correct?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And that's like a point, a great point, because I make that all the time with people, is you think of such a small community if you just went a little down my street, especially even I think to this day, because it hasn't built up that much. There's new homes and everything. But you could stand on my street and you could look across, There would be one street in between us, and you could see where he lived.

[Annie Elise]

Oh, yeah. So this just by living proximity alone, he'd be violating whatever restraining order was in place.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And there was no restraining order put on to stay away from my father. And there was no restraining order put on us kids either, because the judge said, like, he didn't threaten us kids. And the judge didn't feel that we were in any kind of danger from him at all. So, like, there's parts of that I understand, but then at the same time, I don't.

[Annie Elise]

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[Unknown]

Auto parts.

[Fallon Farinacci]

So then he's released out on bail and he's, you know, free to be in our community. And because it is such a small community, community members can like, they remembered him saying he was going to kill her. He couldn't live without her. He was going to kill my dad. He didn't want to go on if he couldn't be with my mom. Like it was this whole what was.

[Annie Elise]

The community saying to that? I mean, that would be, I would imagine I would be fearful if I ever heard somebody say that. And I would of course, go to your mother, to your father and warn them. But again, I understand that even if you go to the police with that, it's idle threats. It's nothing that is tangible to arrest somebody. But what was the community's response to that?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Well, I think a lot of people were scared. From what I have read, like through news articles, is that people were kind of like, what were we supposed to do when we were like, I'm scared of him, him myself.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And I didn't know this about my dad because, you know, I, it was been my story for so long that I knew certain parts. I knew the way it, you know, had kind of all, you know, A to Z kind of happened, but there was parts I didn't know in between and not until an adult. You start to reflect on it. And I remember asking my dad's friend to say like, how did my, how was my dad? Like, did he think this was going to happen? And he said he remembered my dad being genuinely scared. He's like, I could see it in his face. He was scared that he was going to go through with what he had been threatening. And I mean it shows. My parents at that point had started to kind of get their affairs in order. My mom had life insurance money through her work and they were, you know, starting to sort that out. At some point In December of 1992, my parents had heard, I don't know from who, that they. He had a revolver. Handgun.

[Unknown]

I'm.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Forgive me, I'm not very. I don't know what, but I just don't either. A handgun.

[Annie Elise]

A gun.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Annie Elise]

Okay.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Another gun they were concerned about. And so my mom wrote the rcmp.

[Annie Elise]

And this is after he's on bail and so she's hearing he still has a weapon. Okay, so. And so she responds to ours or rcmp.

[Fallon Farinacci]

She writes them, she writes them a letter and she tells them that concerned that he has a handgun. And nothing is ever done with the letter. And a lot of people have asked me like, why do you think your mom wrote a letter? I don't know. Was it because it was the 90s and you like picking up and calling? Did she try to pick up and call and no one like that. We would never know that now. And. Or was she wanting to have it in writing and.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah, it could just be she wanted to add it to the file to make the case even stronger for whatever was going to hopefully not, but come to fruition.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And nothing happened. And then somewhere along the way, my parents case lands on the desk of a Crown attorney for family. He is not related.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah, that's not a family matter.

[Fallon Farinacci]

No idea. And as far as I know from documents that I saw was that was again, it was a human error and that the Crown got the, the case and then just move forward with it. That there was no rhyme or reason as to why. Maybe there was, but nothing that I've seen for documents or that I can make sense of at least. Anyway, so he continued on and the next steps were mediation. And mediation was not something that my parents were willing to do. And what would the goal of mediation.

[Annie Elise]

Even be in that moment of like, oh, let's all come together and Agree that he's going to stop stalking her, go on his merry way.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Because you come together.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah.

[Fallon Farinacci]

To.

[Unknown]

To resolve.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. The issue. And so I just. I never understood. And it was one of those things, again, human error that it happened that way. And so what happened at one point was there was a clerk that was in a temp position that had to mail out documents. What documents? I don't know. I'd love to know. And she accidentally mailed my mother hit her stalker's documents, and my mother's stalker got my mom's. What specific documents? I don't know, but I just know that they received something that the other shouldn't have. And then that was at the beginning of January. So now we're in January 1993, and we're going around the 26th of January. They're supposed to have a mediation. And my mom had decided earlier that week there was a woman in Winnipeg that was shot and killed outside of the Misericordia Hospital. And that's where my mom worked. And my mom's first instincts were to run outside and see the woman's color of her hair. And my grandma is the one who had told me this because obviously my mom was confiding in my grandma and telling her these things. And the fact that that was her instinct because she thought her stalker mistaken this woman.

[Annie Elise]

Oh, so she wanted to see did woman look like her? Was he there to kill her?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. But in fact, it was this woman stalker. And earlier that same week, another woman was killed by her stalker in Manitoba. There was. And again, I'm not like a legal expert, but there were laws that were in place but not enacted at that time to help protect women. And so I do know that after that, that they did move forward with that. Whether that has saved.

[Annie Elise]

Well, I would hope so. Yeah. It sounds like stalking was a clear problem if two people were killed in the same week.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Right? Three.

[Annie Elise]

Well, yes.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah.

[Fallon Farinacci]

So. So now my mom was terrified and she. That was enough for her to say, no, I'm not going to this mediation. For years, I didn't know why. I've told people. I don't know why. I think it was. Maybe she was scared.

[Unknown]

She thought.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Thought, like, what was the point? My grandmother, the same thing was kind of always saying, like, she always thought, like, what was the point? That was the reasoning was she had seen what had happened and was like, there's no point to a mediation. They've failed at them so many times up to that point. So it was like, maybe if I Don't go. They can't. If she didn't go to the mediation, then she could proceed with criminal charges, and that was her intention. But he was released from jail on the 26th, so why was he back in jail?

[Annie Elise]

Because he.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Sorry, not jail. I think, you know, when you go to court and then you have to stand before a judge, so you're not, like, arrested, but then you're released again. So he was released again after. Because no one came to the mediation, and he was released.

[Unknown]

He.

[Fallon Farinacci]

This is where I talk about the drugs, because I know that he was taking prescription drugs that day based off of people testifying that he did, that he was taking. I don't. I don't even know what. But he was taking painkillers. And then he was drinking, and. Very cliche. He had drank a bottle of sherry. My mom's name was Sherry. And he drank a bottle of sherry. And then it was just after midnight. So from the 26th to the 27th, my older brother was waiting for a friend. They had exams. There were 17. They had exams. And you know, that time between you don't have an exam, so it's like free time.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I have two older teenagers. I've been through that, where it's like, they don't have. They have a couple days where they get to just hang out and hang out with their friends. We were all sleeping, including my parents. And my brother was waiting for his friend to come over, and he heard a knock at the door. And so he opened up the door, and on the other side of the door was my mom's stalker. And he had the same.22 caliber rifle that my parents had told the police about. And he held it to my brother's stomach and told him not to scream or say anything.

[Annie Elise]

And your brother was only 17?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And then he took my brother into the basement, and he tied him up, and he verbally tortured him with, you know, threats and telling my brother what he was gonna do to my parents. And at one point, he had my brother write him a suicide letter, like a will, so to speak, to say, you know, that he was sorry to his family for what he had done and that he couldn't go on anymore. I've actually never seen the letter.

[Annie Elise]

The note was written from your brother on behalf of the stalker?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes.

[Annie Elise]

Okay.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. So he had my brother write that. I think it goes to show you the state of the mind that he was into, that he was so confident to take someone into the basement. Yet what if my father or mother heard him? In the basement. And they were sleeping the whole time, you know, So I don't think someone that was thinking straight would. It didn't seem like, so confidently, you know, like. Like for hours they were in the basement until just before 2:30 in the morning. He had my brother down there for that long.

[Annie Elise]

Just the two of them.

[Unknown]

Just the two.

[Annie Elise]

All while you all were still asleep upstairs.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah.

[Annie Elise]

And how old were your parents when this was happening?

[Fallon Farinacci]

So my. My father was just shy of 38 and my mom was just shy of 37. So 36 and. And 37. And so they were upstairs sleeping. I was in my room. And eventually he told my brother, I'm gonna go upstairs and do the deed. And he left my brother in the basement. And my brother heard some yelling in French. And then my father was shot immediately. And he heard my mom screaming, heard a gunshot go off. And that's when my brother decided he needed to get out and go get help. Help. Somehow, miraculously, he was able to untie himself. Thank God that he was able to.

[Unknown]

Do all of that.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And he climbed out of his bedroom window, which was in the basement. He could have went up the stairs and out, but again, it was probably one of those, like, if I go up that door, then he'll know I'm going out that door.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Annie Elise]

I would imagine it's like you want to get out as sneakily as you possibly can.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. So he snuck out, and then he did make a stop at my aunt's house. And I had heard different things over the years that he had stopped at my aunt's house to get boots because he didn't have any. And it was January in Manitoba. And like, Manitoba, just so people know, it's. It's colder than, you know, Churchill sometimes, or the same temperature, which is far north Manitoba. It's freezing there. I just got back from there. It's like. Feels like it's. I don't know if Americans will know, but it is as cold as. Feels like minus 48, sometimes 40.

[Annie Elise]

But is that Celsius or Fahrenheit? I need the math.

[Fallon Farinacci]

So someone told me that they're both the same for minuses. So I don't know.

[Annie Elise]

Okay.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, okay.

[Annie Elise]

But freezing nonetheless. You definitely wouldn't want to be, like, walking around without booths, freezing.

[Fallon Farinacci]

So my brother. I had heard that my brother had stopped and got boots and then went straight to Ken and Debbie's house.

[Annie Elise]

Those are the same friends from bingo.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes. Yeah.

[Annie Elise]

The best friends of your parents.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And then my best friend as well.

[Annie Elise]

And how Close did they live to your house?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Very close. Like you could from my bedroom window you could see their home so close enough. And then my aunt was just over as well. This is rule so you know it's a lot larger yards but close enough. Right. And so he then went to their house and the first 911 call went in. Well I will say it's not 911 at that time it was a seven digit number because it was you know the 90s and it was a small community so they didn't have 911 out in these communities. And so the first call, emergency call went in and my brother told them that she, he was concerned that he had entered our home my mother stalker and that he heard a gunshot off and that my parents had had been in court with them. My brother's words were obviously jumbled in the call. Like he just said we're in court with them right now with him right now. And that he had a gun and that he was inside with my mom and my dad and his two siblings. And at the time my younger brother had just turned six and I had turned nine at that point. And my older brother, like I said he was 17. So we're all in the home waiting for this help. I don't even know like really at that point. So when the gunshot went off that's what woke me up out of bed.

[Annie Elise]

And that was at approximately 2:30am?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes. And when I woke up I, my, my little brother's over here in the hallway standing in front of his bedroom door and my parents door is like right next door to his and mine was here. So I'd come out and I could see him crying and so I was like, I didn't know what was going on and so I tried to push my parents door open but it did, it did like there was resistance. So it did open, it wasn't shut?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Annie Elise]

Something against the door.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And so I'd imagine that was him on the other side of the door. And so I try to push and I can't get open. Like I can't get it open and he's screaming. So like I think that is what, what set off my fight or flight. And so I went running down the hallway and I picked up the phone to call the emergency number but my brain said call 91 1. And then it was the dark so I was dialing 011 instead of 911 and. And then I could just see a shadow coming running towards me and I didn't know who it was. But I. My. My brain just said, like. Like, run. And so I dropped the phone and I went around the corner, and I ran downstairs and I hid into the basement. Basement. And at that point, it was my mom's docker who had run towards me. And eventually they come downstairs. It feels like it took them forever to come downstairs, long enough that I was standing behind. I didn't do a good job of hiding. I was standing behind my brother's bedroom door, and he had a. A dresser with a mirror on it. And I'm just looking at myself in the mirror thinking, what is happening? What is happening? Like, I couldn't. I couldn't even think of what was happening because, I mean, I had never, ever been exposed to any kind of violence.

[Annie Elise]

No. When you're nine years old, how could you even start to calibrate in your mind what the situation is and what's going on? And where was your younger brother at this time?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Upstairs, still.

[Annie Elise]

Okay.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And so they come down eventually, and I could hear him, like, find her. Find her. Find out where she is. Find her where she is. Then he started getting mad, and I could hear him say, where is he? And I'm sure he was, like, swearing and everything else, but I don't remember because now he realizes my brother isn't in the basement either, and he is, like, livid. And so eventually, my. It was my younger brother who found me. And I remember him pulling on my arm, and I'm like. I'm like, no, please, no, no, no, no, don't. Don't say I'm here. Don't say I'm here. And he's pulling me out, and then eventually, I must go, or they must hear, obviously, us saying these things. And he pulls me out, and we're. Now we're at the bottom of the stairs, and he's losing his mind. And I remember he tells my mom, you better find him. If you don't find him, you're gonna. You're gonna have to pick which. Which one I kill between me and my younger brother. And I remember being like, I'll look for him. I'll look for him. Because I'm like, I don't want to die. Like, he's threatening, if he can't find my brother, he's gonna kill me or my brother. And. And my mom's, like, screaming at this point, like, she's not gonna pick who he's gonna kill between the two of us. I remember looking behind the couch, and. And when I looked behind the couch, he followed me to look behind the couch, because it was like on one of them was like on an angle. And so he looked behind it with me because he probably didn't trust. Because I was like, no, he's not back there. And he didn't trust me.

[Unknown]

So he. He did.

[Fallon Farinacci]

He looked. And then at one point, I walked into the storage room and I like, kind of looked. And I think he kind of had given up at that point.

[Annie Elise]

How much. How long do you think? And I would imagine time, of course, felt like it stood still and took a lot longer. How long do you think you were actively looking?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Oh, maybe ten minutes. Like, if that, like, if anything, it took that long because he was looking. He would follow and look behind us.

[Annie Elise]

And where was your mother during this?

[Fallon Farinacci]

With us the whole time.

[Annie Elise]

So you were all just kind of moving from area to area, the four.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Of us just like, searching. And so then eventually he's like, he's getting mad. And so that's when whatever he's doing, I. He must have been in like, kind of in the storage room. Like it was. It was open. Because I'm just thinking, where was he? Enough time that it gave my mom to whisper to me, stay downstairs and call for help. Call the police. And she whispered it to me and she said she loved me. And then she was like, let's go upstairs to him. And she was trying to separate him from us at that point. I don't know what she said to get him to go upstairs, but he agreed to it and that we could stay downstairs. And so I went to pick up the phone and it had been ripped out of the wall. And I thought if I plugged it in, I would get electrocuted. So I didn't put it in because at that point, I mean, I had never had to plug a phone into the wall. So I just left it and we stayed down there. And eventually I was on my knees and my younger brother was lying on the bed. And so, like, my hands were up like this on my brother's bed with my legs on the fl. And I just like, looked at him. And I remember it was so cold in the room. And that's because the window was open.

[Annie Elise]

It was from where your brother had left?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, it was freezing down there. So he must have realized that my. My brother had escaped and my mom took him upstairs. Or they. He did. They both went upstairs and we stayed down there and then we fell asleep. This was probably around 3:30 now at this point that they finally left us to go upstairs.

[Annie Elise]

And how many calls at this point have been put in there was the one from your brother.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Y then my attempt and then my brother they called again. They called at 3:30 and they asked where are you? So the initial call, I'll go back to that at 2:30 what happened and why there's such a big gap is that at 2:30 when that initial call went in the way the like, like chain of command go. So the dispatcher gets the call and then they, they relay the call to these officers, the two officers that are on duty. But at the time the Headingley Police Department where this what where like they patrol our community. They closed at 2:30 so that call, those officers were already in Winnipeg. So it closed I believe to close from 2:30. I don't know if it's 6:30 or 8:30 but either way it's closed at that time. And there is another community that's close by, it's called Portage La Prairie. It was actually closer than Headingley, a.

[Unknown]

Little bit by a little bit I believe.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And but they don't patrol our community, only Headingly police do. And so those officers receive all the information and then they have to call the constable on duty at his home because he's sleeping. So they call the constable to tell him what is happening and they say by name my mom stalker. Because they know him.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And they tell him that he has entered the Paul residence, that a gunshot had gone off and that there was two like that who was in the house, that there was kids in the house and that the brother had called for help.

[Annie Elise]

And this is at 2:30?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes. And that constable, his name was Constable Dunford, he said go out to the Paul residence and see if you can talk to him, get him to come out, secure the area and then call me when you get there. And then he hung up the phone and he was a hostage negotiator for that police station and instead of calling his superior or sending backup, he hung up the phone and he then accidentally fell back asleep. So he falls asleep and at 3:30 my brother calls again and says like they're like where are you? Why is it taking so long? And my brother also says why a 17 year old is thinking of these things. But he said don't come down the road with your lights on because he'll see you coming. Do not come down.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah, you can impulsively do something.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And so he says that and they arrived just shortly after that call.

[Unknown]

They.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I don't know if anything was said about like what their timeout was, but they do arrive after 3:30 in our community.

[Annie Elise]

But I guess my question is where were the people that the constable had said? Go out there, check on things, try to lure him out of the house and talk him down and then let me know like what were they doing for the, the past hour?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Right. So they were making their way from their. Because they live in Winnipeg. So it's like, you know, it's January so let's just say it's 45 minutes to an hour.

[Annie Elise]

So they were in, they were in route but it was just.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And I don't know if they had to stop at the station first before they could come out to our community.

[Unknown]

What that all.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I don't know if any of that is in any kind of documents, but so yeah, so they come out to our community. They do make contact with my mom and at this point, so they call and my mom talks to someone and they say like okay, where is he? Are you hurt? And she says, I don't know, is he shot or is your husband okay? I don't know. Like she's obviously not in a clear mind. But also answering one sided kind of questions. So not to alert him. Him. And again this goes to show you the state that he was in. Because who would be calling our house.

[Unknown]

At 3:30 for him to just allow.

[Annie Elise]

Her to be on this phone call.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, like she picked it up and, and let her talk. And you could tell she was rushing off on the. When she's talking because she's like, okay, I have to go now, I have to go. Call me back in the morning. And I think even the person on the other line was a little taken back back by it.

[Unknown]

Just by.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I have a bit of the transcript and she was like. And they're like what do you, what do you mean? Or something like that.

[Annie Elise]

Maybe she was speaking in code. She didn't want him to know that she was trying to get help. So she's like that's fine, we'll talk in the morning. Of course.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. But it took them back so much again like, how are you not.

[Annie Elise]

How are you not trained for this?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, exactly. And so she's says okay. And the last things they say, Sherry, help is on the way.

[Annie Elise]

And she's at 3:30.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yep, call me back in the morning. And she hangs up the phone. So my mom thinks that now there's help, obviously. Yeah. And so this all happens and we're downstairs at that point it said that my mom was flicking the lights on and off in my bedroom to try to signal for help. Outside and that they could see it, that the lights were being flicked on and off. And we're in the basement at this whole time. And then at 5:30 we wake up. And at the time I, you know, I didn't know what had woken me up. And it's only to assume that he had taken his first shot at my mom and so he shot her in the arm.

[Annie Elise]

But this is now two hours later. Two hours later from when they say, sherry, help is on the way.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah.

[Annie Elise]

And there's still no help there.

[Fallon Farinacci]

No.

[Annie Elise]

So it's two hours after that, three hours in total since the first phone call went out from your brother.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes. And my brother still has not been seen by a police officer to take his statement until 5:30. That is when they go over to the. I don't know if they go to the Bowden or where at that point if they had evacuated the area yet. I don't believe it was evacuated. I think the chain of commands was. Then they took my brother to finally take his statement. And only I believe it was at 6 that they started to secure the area around our home. So people were evacuated out that lived near us.

[Annie Elise]

Hold on. I want to just make sure I'm understanding this right. Five hours after he's entered the home. Now their priority is evacuating the streets nearby before even making entry into your home.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Y. Wow. And they start to set up a command post. Post. Now this officer who fell back to sleep, they eventually start making. Setting up a command post. They don't even make it in our community. And they. There's no rhyme or reason as to why. They say it's because the other community had the fire station so that they could set that up.

[Annie Elise]

Doesn't matter. You're not sending anyone anyway.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Right. And as far as I know, the command station wasn't. Now again, this was from a community member that it actually wasn't even set up in the police station, that it was set up in a shop. Shop. Someone that I know that their. Their families shop. It was set up there. And my brother, when he got there, he witnessed them. And this might sound like. People might think like, oh, like what is that important? It just goes to show you the lack of urgency. He was watching them draw a map of the house with a ruler. And like it literally was our, our bedroom, a living room, dining room, kitchen. Like, it wasn't. It's not like we had this like elaborate home. It was.

[Unknown]

Everyone has.

[Annie Elise]

And if you're seeing lights going off and on in a room, you know where they are like, you know where the basement is? Make entry there. Wow.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And so I'm awoken by that sound and I run up the stairs and I run down the hallway again to go into my bedroom because I can hear that, the sound like the arguing and that's coming from my bedroom. My brother's with me the whole time. And so I go to push the door open and I can't. And I hear my mom say, say why do you have to shoot me? You already shot me in what I think she says is the eye. And I remember thinking, oh my God, I need, like I need to get my mom help now. And so I turn and I go into her bedroom and I pick up the phone and I call 911 and I'm like, I need an ambulance for three people. Because I don't know where my brother is at this point or I. No, I think I call 911 first and I just say that I need help. And at some point I call and the 911 dispatcher hangs up on me or the emergency numbers.

[Annie Elise]

And this is still around 6, 6:30?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, this isn't 6:36.

[Annie Elise]

Okay.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. So and then I turn and I look and I see my dad lying in bed. I don't see him, I just see like the blanket is over him and I'm like trying to wake him up and I'm like, dad, like what? Like I remember feeling so. Like I can feel it in my body, body so relieved he is here. Why isn't he waking up and helping us? And I'm just shaking him. And my younger brother comes around and I can tell by my younger brother's reaction that something was wrong with my dad because he started to cry and scream and that was enough for me to back off and not like I never even looked at my dad any further than what I had at that point. And so I just backed off. And at the same time it kind of like in my memory is all happening at the same time. And then I'm sitting on the bed and I hear noise. And then my mom falls to the ground because the bedroom door is open so I can see her basically like from her waist up. And so she's lying on the floor and she just looks like she's sleeping there. And I hear a really loud noise and I think it's a shelf that's knocked over. I had a, a shelf with like, you know, all my stuff as a nine year old on it. And I think, oh my God, he's mad. He's mad at my mom right now, so he's knocking things over. So I remember thinking like we have.

[Unknown]

To be so quiet.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I was just frozen on my parents parents bed. And you were on top of the.

[Annie Elise]

Bed at this point?

[Fallon Farinacci]

I was on top of the bed. This was 6:30. And then I eventually I feel like I must have stayed frozen on that bed for half an hour because at 7am when my mom's alarm goes off because she should have been waking us up at that point for school. And so when the alarm goes off, I was on the bed and I hadn't yet got off the bed to hide. And so I turn it off because I think, oh my God, he's gonna be so mad. He's gonna be so mad at us for making noise. I pick up the phone at some point and I call again and I ask for help. I asked for. That's when I asked for three ambulance because we can't find my brother. And I know something has happened to my dad and my mom is obviously hurt because she's lying there.

[Annie Elise]

But it's now four hours after the initial call and nobody has made any country.

[Fallon Farinacci]

No one.

[Annie Elise]

And how many calls have been made at this point? Several.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes. And the noise was him turning the gun on himself. And so he killed himself in my childhood bedroom.

[Annie Elise]

Oh my God.

[Fallon Farinacci]

On the floor. And I had no idea that he had done that. Otherwise I could have told people right at that point. And so we waited. Eventually they try to make contact with the house, but I had taken off the hook because I was worried again that he was going to come in if he heard the phone ringing. He would like. You're bringing him to me.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah, exactly. You're reminding him that we're in here and. Yeah. You're drawing attention to it.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah. And then eventually I do put it back on and I must have put it back on at 8am so they're outside and they're waiting and there's no. I believe SWAT gets to our house only around seven now.

[Annie Elise]

Now I keep going back to the timeline. I know, but I guess I'm just trying to really understand here and reconcile it. Are there no 247 emergency services nearby or is it that things are closed down? Like how is it taking eight hours at this point from when he first made entry into your home for anyone to even come and try to enter?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Right. I do believe that at Portage La Prairie was 24 hours. But for whatever reason from my understanding is that that station would have had to initiated them coming out like for backup.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And because of that constable falling asleep, he wasn't making contact with other people to let them know. And there was no, they, they fought to the end to say that they didn't think that we were in danger, that they didn't know the severity of.

[Annie Elise]

A nine year old calling multiple times, times saying we need ambulances, something's wrong with my dad, there's somebody in here with a gun. And when you have a 17 year old also saying that, how do you, how does anybody equate that to children not being in danger? To anybody not being in danger? That makes absolutely no sense.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah.

[Annie Elise]

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[Annie Elise]

So okay, so 8:00 SWAT arrives. You're still inside the home now with your mother, your father, your mother Stalker.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Annie Elise]

Who are deceased at this point.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yes. So we are sitting inside for a total of two hours with three dead bodies waiting where we do hide on the other. So when I say hide we just put ourselves on the other side of the bed so that if he happens to walk by the door then yeah.

[Annie Elise]

You'Re on the other side.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Maybe, you know. And so I put the phone back on the hook. I do talk to my grandpa at one point cuz he asked like where are you? Where's your dad? Is he okay? Like he's asking me all kinds of questions but I specifically remember him asking about my dad and where I am and where we are. And one officer then at that point asks can we jump out of the window? Is there any way we can jump out of the window? And just I was like no. I'm like my I have A broken arm with a cast. Up to here I had been, you know, it's Manitoba with all our snow, and I was jumping on a snow hill and I had broken my arm. And so I was in a cast like this and I was stuck like that. And the bedroom, like a lot of those bungalows, like on the outside, the, because of the basement and then the floor and then the windows are a little, they're up higher, not like in a living room, let's say, where they're lower. And I was like, no, I can't, I can't get out. Meanwhile, they're trying to outside see if they could like the idea of. I don't know what they were trying to figure out outside to try to get in. It was told to me only in the last couple of years that the reason why the RCMP came in when they did was because my grandpa had had enough at that point. And they said that he, like, he said, enough, I'm gonna go in. I, I don't know what it was that made them come in at that point point finally at 8:30. But they came in and when they came in they yelled out, rcmp, you know, whatever they would have said with like weapons down or whatever. But then following it, they said, this one's gone, this one's gone, this one's gone. And I can hear it like it was yesterday. And then two seconds later, like I, I can, I can see the police officers kind of split and two people come into the room and then they throw blankets over me and my, my younger brother and they carry us out and it's two of the EMTs.

[Annie Elise]

Did they keep you and your brother together or did they separate you?

[Fallon Farinacci]

They were not carried out together, but we're carried out like in the, not in the same arms, but we go out of the house together. And I remember we got outside and I can feel that it's cold coming up the blanket and cuz I. My gown, like it was a nightgown that I had on and I could hear a voice and I remember like just shifting a little bit in the person's arms because like I wanted to get out of it because I thought, oh, that's Carson, Carson's here.

[Unknown]

Like he's okay.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Because I had no idea yet if my brother was okay or not. And I don't know if he's, if he had killed him somewhere or what, what the problem was, why my brother all of a sudden wasn't there. And so we get into the ambulance and I remember, remember looking at the EMTs. And I'm being. I'm, like, asking, where's Carson? Is Carson okay? And they just said to me, we don't know where he is, but we're going to take you to the Misericordia Hospital. We're going to bring you to your mom's work. All her friends want to see you there. They're gonna bring you there, and we're gonna get you checked out. And, you know, they're distracting us. Like, we're kids. Like, kids are.

[Unknown]

They are.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I hate saying it. So resilient, because they're distracting us with, like. They had, like, a cool. I remember it would look like a pen, but it was actually a light, like a flashlight. And they're, like, you know, looking us over to make sure that we're okay. And they're like, you can have this. And then they had, like, a pen that was actually, like, a syringe. And so they're like, you can have this, too. And so we're just like. Now, all of a sudden, you know, I'm asking, like, are my. Is my mom and dad okay? Are they coming? But, like, nothing's.

[Annie Elise]

So nothing has settled in that. Of what. What had taken place inside that house?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Nothing at all. So we're brought into Winnipeg, and the two EMTs were childhood friends of mine, fathers.

[Annie Elise]

Oh, wow.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And so, you know, we're brought into Winnipeg and we're brought to the hospital. They do examine us to make sure that he hadn't hurt us in any way. Up until my mom died, he had.

[Unknown]

He.

[Fallon Farinacci]

He never sexually assaulted my mom, but he had abused her and hit her. And so I think my mom had, I'll just say, a number of contusions.

[Unknown]

All over her body.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Come to find out with the autopsy. And so they.

[Unknown]

They wait.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Now we have family that's coming in from Ontario. My aunt, my uncles. And then we have my family, obviously, all my dad. Dad's sisters. My dad had a very big family and a brother, and they eventually put us all together. And I remember when I finally saw my brother Carson, like, oh, my God, he's here.

[Unknown]

He's okay.

[Annie Elise]

What was that moment like?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Oh, the best.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah, man. Sorry. I can't imagine. I'm very close with my siblings, and I think that's why, when I heard your story, it just affected me so deeply because I can't imagine what you went through, and I'm so sorry that you had to experience that.

[Unknown]

Thank you.

[Annie Elise]

You guys were all just so failed as a family.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I was, like, just worried the whole time, what had happened to him? Yeah, like, the excitement when to have just been carried out of the house. But the excitement when I thought I heard his voice and it was an officer or I don't know who outside, I thought, oh, my God, that's him. He's okay. And so we're all put into this room, and we're sitting there, and my younger brother's sitting on my brother's lap. And I remember looking at my brother and I said, I'm not gonna cry. And his face was just disgust. I don't know, because he was like, what do you mean? Mean? And I don't know if it meant like, or if he was like, why are you saying that? Like, what do you mean? Like, what, you're not gonna cry? Maybe he didn't. He did not know at that point, right? Like, he did not know.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So. And we weren't told that we were being put in that room to, like, for anything. But I just. Something told me to say it or, like, that that's what was going to be told to us. Us. And he's like, what do you mean? And I said, I'm not going to cry. And then they came in and they said that everyone had. That both my parents had, in fact, died. And the whole room just.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Like.

[Unknown]

It's like white noise. It just was screams and cries.

[Annie Elise]

I'm so sorry.

[Unknown]

Yeah, so that was like. All of my aunts were in that room, except for one from my dad's side of the family. Because my one aunt was. She was just so. She's very. She's. She is very sensitive. And so it just had to be handled in a different way to. To tell her. And she's like the sweetest soul. So she just had to be told separately. And she didn't know about anything of what was happening. They probably didn't want to tell her, obviously, until they knew what was happening. And then we were brought back to my community eventually. And I. All I kept saying was, I want to see Sheena. I want to see Sheena as my. My best friend. And eventually they. They brought her to me that night and we just cried. Eventually, the RCMP wanted to take my statement, so we were. I was put into my one cousin's room, and it was like, right behind the door. It was so weird. Now that I think about, like, where I was put. He takes my statement and I get to the point where I say, my mom said, why do you have to shoot me? Me? You already shot me in the eye. And he stops me and says, I'm going to stop you right there. Your mom never said that. I said, yes, she did.

[Annie Elise]

No, you weren't there. I tried to get you to come there and you weren't. So how are you going to tell me right now?

[Unknown]

And I remember looking at. I don't know if it was my aunt or my uncle, but there was an adult in the room with me. And I remember looking at them like, why, like, why is he saying this to me? And I was like, yes, she did. He said, well, your mom was never shot in the eye, so I don't.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Know why you would say that. And so I just left it at that.

[Unknown]

And it didn't dawn on me.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Well, I didn't actually know my mom.

[Unknown]

Was actually shot in the shoulder the second time.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And just based off of the type.

[Unknown]

Of weapon it is, from what I've been told, the bullet spirals, and so it severed her spine and she died, oh, my gosh, instantly. And so she was shot in the arm. And so that made sense to me later when I found that out. I never knew my whole life until, like, adulthood that she was actually shot twice. And then I thought, oh, that's why I heard arm, not I. But it, like, recently done on me that we have authority figures who. Who don't believe us and make us believe what is, you know, whether it's true or what they want to. The storyline to navigate. And I just thought, I remember, you know, sitting there one time and I. I must have been listening to someone speak or, you know, a podcast or something. And I just thought, wow, that's what he did to me. Like, it was authority questioning what I had lived through.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And that happened.

[Annie Elise]

Make you doubt your own truth.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And it happens so often. So often. So I was just like, yeah, that was like, just a blow. For so long, my whole life, I believed that I was wrong. I had heard it wrong the whole time. Like, what had happened? You don't even know what happened, you know?

[Fallon Farinacci]

And so eventually we have to move to Ontario.

[Unknown]

Real.

[Fallon Farinacci]

My mom's.

[Unknown]

When I say eventually, it happened pretty fast. My.

[Fallon Farinacci]

My mom's stalker allowed my mom to.

[Unknown]

Write a letter that night.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And my mom in the letter stated.

[Unknown]

That she wanted us kids to go.

[Fallon Farinacci]

To her sister in Ontario. And then she also stated she wanted all the insurance money to be left for us as well, and we had.

[Unknown]

To move, move to Ontario. Unfortunately, obviously my family, my dad's side of the family was quite upset about.

[Fallon Farinacci]

That, but there wasn't really anyone that could take us on or you know, I'm sure at that point too it.

[Unknown]

Was, people are, do funny things with death. So it was probably a mix of like, do we fight like their family against family? Do we put the kids through this, this, you know, like I don't, I.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Don'T know what any of those aunts and uncles thoughts were.

[Unknown]

But so we had to move there and we lived with my aunt.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I lived with my aunt for about a year with my brother, my younger brother, my older brother turned 18 a.

[Unknown]

Couple months after moving to Ontario a.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Few months after my, my parents death. And so he aged out, you know, like they're not getting financial support for him anymore. And he also is 18 so he can and live on his own if he wanted to. And so we lived in a tiny two bedroom home. My brother and I shared it with my older cousin and, and her, her daughter and we lived there for about a year.

[Unknown]

So I didn't like living at my aunt's house. My uncle reminded me a lot of my mom's stalker. He was an alcoholic and he would often sit outside at this shed and he would just drink and I hated it. I like, I didn't like it at all. It brought so much back for me and I, I don't remember like that being the deciding factor. But eventually I do move in with my grandma. I never got to really ask my grandma, like, why did I move in with you? I remember I asked her once, I said something like, oh, so how come I did leave aunt Bonnie's house? And she's like, oh, you didn't like Sid? And I was like, oh, okay, that was my uncle. And I was like, okay. And then, you know, as time went on I kind of realized more about it like the depths of like watching his behavior and being so close to my, my mom's stalker. Even though it wasn't like I was around my mom's daughter a lot, it just as a kid, there's, it's a trigger, right? And I didn't like it. My brother though had to stay there and I move in with my grandma and she lived just around the corner.

[Fallon Farinacci]

My younger brother and I still went.

[Unknown]

To the same elementary school and everything and yeah, so I barely got to see my older brother though because he didn't live with us. Right. And I mean, I don't know, I've been 18 too and you know, my younger brother wasn't exactly my priority either to be around. And so when I did get to see my older brother, it was like, it was always that same feeling. When I first saw him at the hospital. It was that same feeling every time because it just like, it was nice to have him around.

[Annie Elise]

It's just comfort and safety and happiness.

[Unknown]

Yeah. So when I got to see him, I feel like I was like, I was probably that really annoying, overbearing little sister because I just wanted to be with him. And I remember like, hugging him and kissing him and. And him just being like, oh, my gosh, like, get off me. But like, I literally just wanted him glued to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so anytime I could spend with him, I absolutely wanted to. And my younger brother and I, we would fight like normal siblings. Like our life went to, you know, normalcy. I had that and. But I always was always want to go home to Manitoba. And so I'm so grateful because, you know, my grandma always made it a priority for me to be able to go back. And I would spend every summer back in Manitoba. And I always stayed with Ken and Debbie Bowden. And so I got to spend time with them. And I mean.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Hi.

[Unknown]

It was a dream come true. I got to spend my summers with my best friend who we would like, ever since we were little, our parents would buy us like matching outfits. And so we continued to do that as teenagers too. And so that was a lot of fun. And then eventually when I was 14, my. I had come back from Manitoba. My aunt called me and was like, why don't you come over to my other aunt's house? So I went over and she said, do you want to move back to Manitoba? And I was like, yes, let's do this. She's like, okay, you can't tell your grandma. And I was like, okay. And I didn't know why. She's like, well, because she'll never let you go back. But I'm your guardian, so you can go back if you want to. So I said, okay. She said, okay, I'm going to call you and then pick you up. I'm going to get you a flight and you can move back to. To Manitoba. Wow. So I moved back to Manitoba. My grandma had no idea it was like an actual type runaway thing. But my grandma couldn't report me missing because my aunt was my guardian.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah. And she's the one to make the decision.

[Unknown]

And she got me the ticket and sent me there. So I moved back to Manitoba. Eventually, after some time, I move in with Ken and Debbie. And it's like the best thing because I'm like actually living with my sister. Something like we had wanted Our whole life and I live with them and I, you know, I got to finish high school out in Manitoba with all of my friends out there. Not to say I didn't have the most amazing friends and relationships in Ontario. You know, it was, it was hard because, like, I wanted to be with my friends there and it took me a long time. I actually spent a few summers in Manitoba and I never came back to Ontario. One summer I thought, okay, I'm going to come back back. And I got to, you know, hang out with all my friends again and I go back to Ontario. I went back to Manitoba. And then I remember, like, talking with my. A friend of mine and her just saying, like, you know, if your grandpa's not doing well, why don't you move back to Ontario? It doesn't have to be permanent. Just move back. And I said, okay, so I do make my way back to Ontario with the intention of that I would eventually move back. And I, I don't. I stay. And now I. And then I eventually meet in a short period of time, my now husband. And we have our, our kids and we raise them and just. I don't know, I live life. And we started, you know, establishing roots there together. So it. If you had asked anyone in Manitoba if I would be living in Ontario now, they would say, no way. Absolutely not. No.

[Annie Elise]

Well, what was that like? I'm curious. Going through your teenage years and dating all the way up to meeting your husband, where did you look at relationships differently? Did you look for red flags and things because you saw the behavior of your mom's stalker and how dangerous situations could become? Or do you think that you were so young that you didn't carry the weight of that in regards to intimate relationships with you?

[Unknown]

Yeah, I didn't carry it like that at all with me. No, no, it didn't affect anything.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah, that's fantastic. Because I would imagine had you done that, it would. Maybe I would like. I have my own for another episode, my own issues with trust issues and things from my childhood that made me definitely struggle with finding a partner and dating the right people. And I think it's so easy and something we don't talk about enough of, like, the trauma just lives on and it manifests in different ways and it can impact you in different ways. So to hear that it did not hinder you from meeting your person is. That's such a blessing in all of this?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[Unknown]

No, it didn't. It didn't affect me like that.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And, And I mean, my husband is he's just amazing partner and so supportive and he always, he had been since.

[Unknown]

Like the beginning of our relationship too.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Because the whole reason why I had.

[Unknown]

Moved back to Ontario was also my.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Grandfather wasn't doing well.

[Unknown]

But I was turning 18 and when.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I turned 18, I would then inherit.

[Unknown]

My parents life insurance money, right? And so my aunt picked her up and we made our way on my 18th birthday to the bank. And just before we got to the bank, she said, said like, she let me drive almost all the way to the bank and she looked at me and said, I don't know how to tell you this, but there is no money. And we spent it all.

[Annie Elise]

What? Spent it on what?

[Unknown]

Nothing. Because they had claimed bankruptcy at that point. She was like living in.

[Annie Elise]

But because she was the legal guardian, she'd had access to the.

[Fallon Farinacci]

She wasn't supposed to have legal access.

[Unknown]

She was not. The money was held in traffic trust for us, but a judge in St. Catharines allowed her to access that money.

[Annie Elise]

Oh my gosh.

[Unknown]

And she had spent all of it. And I said, what about Clinton's money? She said, all of it, it's all gone. And I just remember like blacking out, like looking at her and like, what do I do then? Like, where am I going?

[Annie Elise]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And she was like, just drive me home. So I drove her home and I had to drive back to my grandma's. And I remember coming in and I was bawling. I hadn't met my husband yet at this point. And I was like, just bawling. And she was like, what's the matter? And I said, it's all gone. And my grandma looked at me and she's like, can I swear?

[Annie Elise]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

She said, I fucking knew it. I knew it.

[Annie Elise]

When they already had a fractured relationship.

[Fallon Farinacci]

The reason they're fractured.

[Unknown]

Come to find out, the only reason my aunt let me move back to Manitoba was not because she gave a shit about how I felt. It was because if I wasn't in the province, my grandma couldn't get legal custody of me. And my aunt would remain my, my guardian and my grandma would never find out about. Well, I don't know what. My aunt thought I was turning 18 eventually.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Like, I don't know if she thought she was gonna get some money and.

[Fallon Farinacci]

She could pay it back or whatever if she.

[Annie Elise]

It's all strategy, right? But I would imagine that if she's giving you what you want as a young girl, like, or young teenager, you can live with your best friend, you can move back there. It's Almost that she's getting in your good graces so that you think of her as the best. Like she would never do anything or once the shoe drops and you do find out that like, well, she let me go live with my friend, she loves me. Like it's all.

[Unknown]

Yeah, manipulation.

[Annie Elise]

Exactly. Yeah, exactly.

[Unknown]

So my grandma, you know, come to find out that's why she didn't want me to leave.

[Fallon Farinacci]

She was like, it's not because I.

[Unknown]

Didn'T want you to go there. I couldn't. You couldn't. I had to be here. You had to be here with me. And so then that started like a whole thing of another court process. So one thing I didn't mention was there was an inquiry right into my parents death as well and the police misconduct. So we had to, our family had to go through two different like kind of court.

[Annie Elise]

And is that what you would equate to like what we would call a civil suit here, an inquiry?

[Fallon Farinacci]

I'm not, I don't know because an inquiry is usually from my understanding is.

[Unknown]

It'S something like more in depth that.

[Fallon Farinacci]

They'Re like looking at all the, I mean maybe it's a civil stew as.

[Annie Elise]

Well where they're just like looking into it. They're investigating to figure out if there's, if there was misconduct, if something was done incorrectly along the way.

[Unknown]

Right. Yeah. And so, and that had happened, that happened way before I had turned 18. That happened just shortly after my parents death.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And so in that whole process, you.

[Unknown]

Know, they looked at the, if the RCMP had actually not fallen asleep, the one officer, would it have moved things along quickly. Would that have saved my mother's life? My father would have died regardless. They, you know, they just kind of brought everything to human error with the court documents and the Crown Attorney with family law and just all of the letter not being filed. It was, it seemed like they just.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Kind of, of always backed it with.

[Unknown]

That it was human error. And so no one was being, no.

[Fallon Farinacci]

One, not one person was held accountable at all. The judge, the judge for the case.

[Unknown]

Came out to our family home. And I think that's because I don't know if it was my uncle or my brother, someone had asked him like.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Come out, come out and see that they could have taken a clear shot with swat, that they could have, a.

[Unknown]

Sniper could have shot through the window. But they argued no, that however, you know, a couple panes of glass that.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And that far of distance, would it.

[Unknown]

Have shot like and killed him? And I just think nowadays like that.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Would not Fly because, like, that they.

[Unknown]

Would be able to do that. Right. Like. But I understand things were different in the 90s, and had they made it there in time, had, you know, they acted more quickly, what, what, if anything, could have changed? The judge. Judge eventually blames the townspeople. He said that they should have done more to help protect my parents. Don't know why it would be townspeople's land on them to protect our family. One police officer took the stand and said that only my mother knew the danger she was in. He insinuated that there was more happening.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Between my mom and her stalker, which, like an affair.

[Unknown]

I don't know if an affair, but like, he.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Because he doesn't say that. I don't know how he says it, but he likes it. Just insinuates that there was more. That if she was in such danger.

[Unknown]

Then, like, why didn't she do more? I.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Again, I don't know what more right way to.

[Annie Elise]

Like, how. Why are you blaming her? What more could she have done? She wrote the letter, she reached out to them. She was scared.

[Fallon Farinacci]

All of the things. Yeah. And so they. So nothing. Nothing was.

[Unknown]

No one was held accountable at all in our family's case.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And I get often asked now, like.

[Unknown]

Why don't you, you know, why don't you take them to court as like, one, I couldn't.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And two, like, what. What could be done?

[Unknown]

And also now it's so long. Nothing could be done because I'm sure a lot of the documents have been destroyed and, you know, people aren't serving still as officers. Like, really, who. Who could be held accountable so.

[Annie Elise]

Well, but it's also like the argument could be. Even if in a perfect scenario, they made entry early on, there weren't all these calls. Even if it couldn't change the outcome of the deaths, it certainly could change the outcome of the trauma that you and your siblings went through.

[Unknown]

Absolutely.

[Annie Elise]

What you witnessed, what you had to sit through, the memories you have, what lives with you for so many years, years after that. And I don't know what you're comfortable sharing, but I would like to ask you about that, because if we're speaking about trauma, your brothers, of course, carried a great deal of weight with them as well, right?

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah.

[Annie Elise]

And can you walk me through with your first brother? When he passed away, how old were you and what. Whatever events you're comfortable sharing. Yeah, both of them.

[Fallon Farinacci]

So when to go back a little.

[Unknown]

To my aunt, when we lived there initially with her, there was a process to bring us to therapy.

[Fallon Farinacci]

It was a child Based place or a base therapy. And we went and I always, when.

[Unknown]

I speak and I, you know, share my story and advocate. I always, I was always generous, always generous up until last year.

[Fallon Farinacci]

And I would say we received one.

[Unknown]

Play based therapy that I remember that was me and my younger brother because my older brother turned 18 so like.

[Fallon Farinacci]

There was no criminal compensation.

[Unknown]

You get criminal compensation because then at the time, like this is my understanding is that my, my aunt would get.

[Fallon Farinacci]

It and then that could go towards.

[Unknown]

Like our therapy if we, if we needed it. We had to be deemed that we needed it in the first place.

[Annie Elise]

Should be a standard no matter what. That's ridiculous.

[Unknown]

Right?

[Fallon Farinacci]

And so we went, went and I would always say we had one for sure, maybe two and it was one. Come to find out I was right that it was one because we went to one and then my aunt got the CPP for us and that check never went to therapy. We were never given any therapy after that. And so like my older brother, I can't, I can't speak for what either of them went through or felt or any of those things because I always.

[Unknown]

Say to people like, yes, we all.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Went through the same like night.

[Unknown]

We all lost our parents the same.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Way, but we all lived completely different things and there's going to be things that had come up for them or me even at different parts of our life. Like it wasn't until just a couple.

[Unknown]

Years ago that I, I got so.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Hard on myself cuz I thought why didn't you run up the stairs and.

[Unknown]

Go out that door? It was right there. You could have taken your brother out.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Right there and then we would never.

[Unknown]

Have had to go upstairs. My brother wouldn't have had to see my dad. Like I could have just.

[Annie Elise]

There's a million wh ifs though and you can't torture yourself 100% because that weight does not fall on you.

[Unknown]

No, but it's like those are the things that I think that people don't always think about. Like, oh well, like how come you're me Quote okay, but maybe they weren't. And it's like, yeah, but it's different. Like we're all going to process things differently. And so at the age of 29, my older brother Carson, my, my husband and I were dating at that time and we had went out, we have a festival in Ontario in St. Catherine's and we went to that festival and I saw one of my brother's friends out and he said where's Carson? Where's car? And I was like, I don't know. I thought he'd be here with you. My brother didn't, like. It's not like I thought I would see him out all the time, but this was a festival that maybe he'd be at. And he was like, no, you should call him. And I was like, yeah, no. And, you know, I kind of left it at that. And then I went back to my husband's house, and in the morning, I had a million, what feels like a million missed calls. And I looked at my phone, and they were only from my grandma's house and from my brother's house, my older brother's house, because my younger brother now lived with my grandma because of my aunt taking the money. And I said. I looked at my husband and I said, I'm not going to call them back. And he said, what do you mean? I said, I'm not. I'm not calling them back. Bring me back to my apartment. I'm going to go home. I'm going to get ready, and then I'm going to go. I'm going to go to one of their houses. And he was like, my. My husband was just like. I feel like he was looking at me like, why don't you call? And we're sitting in the car, we're driving. He's driving me back to my house, my apartment. And I was like, I don't know who I want to be dead more, my. My grandma or my brother, because one of them died. And if I call, then I'm gonna know. I was like, I don't want to know. And so I went back to my place. I think I showered. Like, I was in definitely a state of show shock. And I showered, and I got ready, and I went to my brother's house. I chose to go to my brother's. I don't know why. And I got there, and I could just see everyone. My eyes were just scanning everyone sitting on the front porch because I was like, who is. Who's there and who's not? My grandma wasn't there, but neither was my brother. And I could just see them, and they're all looking at me. And it felt like it took me forever to get out of the car. And something said, just get out and go. And I stood on, like, the front of the yard, and I was like, who is it? And they just all were looking at me like, who's gonna tell her? And I was like, just screaming, who is it? And finally, my cousin Shane, who's really close with my brother, he said, carson that was it. I think I went to leave and I think someone was like, no, no, don't go. And then eventually I go inside and I remember my younger brother hugging me, and I couldn't hug him back.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I was just like, don't touch me. Do not touch me. And he was hugging me and I just was like, dead in his arms. And I felt so bad, but I was like, I can't hug you. Like, I just didn't want. I didn't want anyone to touch me. Yeah. And. And that's when I found out he had killed himself. And it was just, like, awful. It was like learning all over again that he had died. And it was just like. A lot of people don't ever understand when I say this, but losing my brother was a thousand times harder than what I had to go through with my parents.

[Annie Elise]

I can understand that.

[Unknown]

I had always shared my story, but I wasn't aware that I was sharing my story the way it is obviously now. Right. And it was in 2017, a cousin of mine had messaged me on Facebook and she said, I don't know if you're interested. I know, like, you share your family story, but there's a national inquiry for missing and murdered indigenous women and girls and two Spirited plus folks. And I was like. I remember reading the message and just thinking, I mean, yeah, sure, of course. Like, I've always shared my. My family story. And so I testified. I shared my story. I actually went back to Manitoba. It was really important that I be there to testify. Ken and Debbie were with me and my best friend. And then I actually had some of my childhood friends with me as well when I testified. So I was around folks that, you know, loved and cared for me. And. And so I testified and I. And I shared my story. And then it was in. And so I. I went through that process. And it was over the next couple years that I started hearing other stories that were, like, eerily similar to mine. And I thought for so long, I believe that that's just my story. That's the way it happened. Like, I think that that's. That's what all of these systems that are in place that. That people go through, they make them believe. Like, that's normal. What you're going through is. That's normal. That's just a part of your life. That's who you are. Especially people in bipoc communities or people who are bipoc.

[Fallon Farinacci]

It's just like, this is your.

[Unknown]

Your plate. This is what's being served to you. And now live with it, because, like, that's kind of the way things are for you. So you. You do. You get. You start to believe it. And in 2019, I was asked if I would join the National Family Advisory Circle. It was then that I was like, okay, this is what I want to do. I want to start sharing my story.

[Fallon Farinacci]

On a larger scale. If people are going to listen, then.

[Unknown]

I'm going to tell the story and I'm going to. I won't ever. I was always taught by, like, an elder, you don't ever say someone else's story. Like, that's why I can't speak to why my brothers, you know, what they went through, because I don't know. And so. But I do know my own story. And so if I can use it. And, you know, I'm so grateful that you have this platform that you wanted to share with me to share. And so then I just started sharing and advocating. And that's when I, like, really started to, like, piece together more of, you know, what had happened and the injustice that my family had to go through. And it was only at the closing ceremonies, and I often share this, that I realized I was sitting there and I thought. The whole time I thought I was an imposter. Like, why am I here? Like, I'm indigenous, but my mom's not Indigenous. It was my dad. But this is an inquiry, is not an inquiry for indigenous men. Although I will say that Indigenous men are murdered and missing, I believe it's as a higher rate than Indigenous women. And there is no inquiry as of yet. I know that people are fighting for one. And so it's. And I'm not taking away from indigenous women or girls, so I hope anyone, you know, doesn't take it that way. But. But my dad was Indigenous and he was murdered. And so it was at the closing ceremonies that I grabbed my husband's leg and I whispered to him, I said, oh, I get it. And he's like, you get what? I was like, I'm the girl. I should have died. I shouldn't be here. Or I also shouldn't know anything about my culture, my background, or be connected to my community. And so, like, that really stuck with me. My younger brother was. He had continued to be in my life, and he built a beautiful life with his. His wife and his kids. And I mean, I often think, like, I don't know, I think I'm a good mom, but my brother was like, a great dad.

[Annie Elise]

A great dad?

[Unknown]

Yeah, both of them. And in so weird to say and in 2023, I think just, I again, I can't speculate what was going on with my brother and his own mental health, but he committed suicide in November of 2023 and it was really. Yeah.

[Annie Elise]

And how old was he?

[Unknown]

36. So the day he died, my, I was in my daughter's room and I was cleaning her room. And it's funny how trauma sits with you because we moved in the last year and I refused, refused to clean my daughter's room when we moved. When we got to the new house, we lived at our current house for probably it was five months before and I didn't think about it. And then it just hit me one day, I was like, that's why I'm not cleaning her room.

[Annie Elise]

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[Unknown]

Because I had. It took me that whole time to even realize it because I was cleaning my daughter's room, her closet, organizing it, and for the first time, I mean my phone is in my pocket usually or at the desk all the time. Like it's always around me. And it didn't. Wasn't near me that day. I left it downstairs. My youngest was playing on the main floor, my oldest was in the basement. So I was cleaning my daughter's room and my phone wasn't anywhere near me. It was on the main floor. My youngest was on the main floor just playing. And that while I was upstairs and my oldest was in the basement and I had didn't think of anything of it, I went downstairs and I saw some missed calls from a phone number I didn't know and my husband's cousin. And I thought, why is she calling me? You know, like, I don't, I'm close with her. But I was like, she wouldn't call me me. And I didn't know the other phone number. So I just kind of left it and I took a break. And I was standing in my kitchen and my, my husband walked in and I just saw it immediately, his face. And I said, who, who, who died? And he just shook his head and I was like, no. And I screamed so loud and I had like no concept that my youngest was right behind me. And I was just screaming, screaming. I was like, no, no. I said no. I said, I said, are you sure? Like are they sure? And that's. He's like, yeah, I think so. I think they're sure. And I said, no, no, they have to check him. I think he's okay. And like I immediately went into denial. I. Even with my parents death and my older brother's death, death, there's like the type of denial like, I can't believe they're not here. That time was absolute denial. Like he is no way. They actually have to check him. Like he's obviously okay. Like we'll go to the hospital. And then he was like, no, he's gone. And so my little brother committed suicide. And I feel like I just went into to instant fight or flight. I had to make all the same phone calls. And I remember calling Debbie and Ken and I called their house and they weren't home and they didn't answer. And I called mom's phone and then eventually I called Sheena and I was like, I have to tell you something. I don't know where mom is. I have to tell her. When I told Sheena, did you call her mom? Yeah. So I called Debbie and Ken, mom and dad.

[Annie Elise]

That's really sweet.

[Unknown]

Yeah, just cuz like they've always treated me like their own.

[Annie Elise]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I like my kids call them a mayor and pear for grandma and grandpa in French. And Yeah, we just. I remember lying, literally lying in the grass with a blanket wrapped around me. It was cold, it was November. And just watch the sunset. And I remember thinking while I was talking to Sheena on the phone and I remember just thinking, how is the sky so pretty. And I just want to die. Like, this is awful. And just like immediately, just like with my older brother. When my older brother died, I had like all of my girlfriends around me. I remember laying in my. On my futon couch in my apartment before kids and marriage, and they were all around me just like supporting me. And the same thing with this time. It was the exact same process this time. Like immediately I just had. I'll never be able to repay all those friends for just the way they rallied around me. It was.

[Annie Elise]

Well, to have such good friends like that and a support system is a testament to you and who you are. Truly. I mean that sincerely.

[Unknown]

In November and on November 12th, and I had started a fundraiser that had started back before he died. So the year that I was turning 38, it was going to be a really hard year because at that time my younger brother was still alive. But I was officially going to be the first person in my family to turn 38 because my mom, my dad and my brother all died before. So I started a fundraiser and it was like, it was a crutch for me to like not have to think about it. And I thought if I start a fundraiser and it wasn't for me to be clear, the FundRaiser was a GoFundMe I started and it was celebrate indigenous resilience. I thought, I'm gonna celebrate the fact that I'm here because I love to self sabotage. Thank you, Trauma. And I hated my birthday. Like, I love my birthday, but I hated it. Like, it's like a really weird place for me. So I thought if I start this fundraiser and the funds were gonna go to two indigenous organizations. One is my hometown community, like for the youth, the indigenous youth there. And they could use it for whatever they wanted. No red tape, no grants, no like writing proposals for funds that they know they need. And then the other money Was half of it was going to go to Abby House, which is a transitional home in Stache for indigenous women, with or without children. And I thought, can I start this fundraiser? It's going to be. We're going to raise $3,800. Because I'm turning 38, and I, like, didn't want to press enter. It made me sick to my stomach. I was. Was instantly sick. I was sitting at my desk. I went from setting up a GoFundMe to, like, immediate depression. Like, right away, I was like, no one's gonna care if I'm gonna press enter. No one's cared so far. The history proves it. Who's gonna donate? I want. And then I'm gonna make these organizations. Like, I'm gonna feel bad that I'm gonna promise, like, I'm gonna do this fundraiser. Nothing's gonna come about it. Something came over me, and I pressed enter, and within 24 hours, we raised $10,000. And then it kept going. And to date, I think the GoFundMe has. It's just shy of $110,000.

[Annie Elise]

Oh, my gosh. That's incredible. And that's amazing.

[Unknown]

Yeah. And the goal was to take it down, but people kept no, still, guys.

[Annie Elise]

Scoop it all in.

[Unknown]

Go.

[Annie Elise]

Don't. Don't take it down.

[Unknown]

So I did that, and then I started a yearly fundraiser. I love Christmas. Christmas is, like, my jam. I love it so much. And I started a fundraiser. It was an event that my girlfriends and I had always done. They're called urns. And so to explain it for people, like, hold on. It is not an urn of ashes. It's a planter. You know, you walk up to someone's house, and they have this, like, beautiful, like, planter with all the Christmas and the. The evergreens all stuffed into it. That's what it is. And so it's a Christmas one. And so we started that, and I started that in 2000. And, well, the fundraiser part of it was in 2001. It was the same year of the beginning of the GoFundMe. And then it just grew and it grew. And so I had that fundraiser that was supposed to happen two weeks, weeks after my brother died. And my friends came to my rescue like absolute superheroes. They. The first thing they said, like, okay, what can we do? What can we do? We're gonna make this fundraiser happen still. Because I had been putting it on every year. So now it's 2023. This is going to be my. That. That point, I think that was. Make it My third annual, right? My third annual for this fundraiser. And a lot of money is raised that day. And I mean, my world just came out from under me and I was like, I mean, I went into fight or flight too, because I said, okay, I'm gonna get out of bed, I'm gonna take a shower and then we're gonna do this. I always say to people, don't feel bad for me because I'm not without. I have like the most incredible group of friends and family around me. So I'm not without. Do I wish I could go back and change things? Yes. Can I? No. So it's like one of those things. What am I gonna do now with it?

[Annie Elise]

Aside from your advocacy work and sharing your story in hopes to evoke change and fundraise and make a difference parents, have you found it to be any sort of healing for you through sharing it?

[Unknown]

Absolutely. I said to, I had said to an elder once, I don't know, I feel really bad. I remember like hugging him after I spoke and, and he, you know, he thanked me for sharing my story and, and my traumas and I just said, I, I feel bad though. And he said, why? Why do you feel bad? I said, because I'm leaving with like healing. I'm, I'm taking something away and then I'm leaving the story behind. And he was like, no, no, you have to stop thinking that you are leaving. You're leaving something behind for other people.

[Annie Elise]

Well, and I think to your point, it's, it's amazing that you are resilient enough to continue sharing your story and like dig deep and share what's of course uncomfortable and traumatic. But to echo what you already told, I want you to know too that when people hear your story, they will learn from it and apply it to their own lives. There will be something, whether it's a small detail or a new value or something they look at differently in their life once they hear your story. So aside from just self healing, it is helping other people, even if it's indirectly. And so I hope you know that.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Totally.

[Annie Elise]

So you're working on a lot of things. You have a lot of stuff going on at any given moment. I know after this you're going to LA and you've got things going on. On. So what is it? Is there anything you want to leave the listeners with in terms of not only where they can find you on socials, to follow all of your projects closely and hear more of your story, but any, any details or any statistics or anything you want them to know.

[Unknown]

Yeah. One thing I'm going to, I want people to think about is I'm going to shock some people too when I say this. He was indigenous as well, and I'm not giving him any kind of, of, believe me, there is nothing in me that is saying what he did is like, oh, you know, whatever. But think about systems that indigenous people are raised in, you know, the, the justice system, the way that they're looked at their communities, what made him and his mental health that way as well. For people who are watching and you're looking at me, I'm way past it, passing. I'm white passing. And I, I have so much privilege. I know that. And there are people who are not going to be listened to or heard or even given the same decency that I am because of how I look. And I have to acknowledge that. And if I don't use that, then what's it for? Because I same like my story had used me for so long and now I'm going to use the out of my story and I am going to use the fact of how I look because people will listen. Would you have listened to me and felt all the same things or would you have skipped on by if I looked a little different?

[Annie Elise]

Absolutely. So I'm very happy that you have found who sounds to be an amazing, amazing husband and have good kids and have some happiness in your life, because I think that that's so incredibly important because even just in re sharing your story too, you're dealing with the weight of it every single day. So to have that outlet of somebody who is so supportive and just loves you for you and you have a family, I think that is just so incredible. And I'm really happy for you.

[Fallon Farinacci]

I'm very lucky.

[Unknown]

And then for where people can find me and everything. So I had mentioned the inquiry, so if people want to like look up the national inquiry as for missing and murdered indigenous women, girls, two spirited LGBTQIA plus folks, you can find that online and then you can also find the final report. So in the final report it gives all the findings.

[Fallon Farinacci]

It's not this big document.

[Unknown]

A lot of people think like, oh gosh, I don't want to read that. It's done in such a beautiful way and it's done in a storytelling way. And I want people to know when they're reading it, you're reading real stories. And there's calls for justice. So there's 231 calls for justice that families and survivors have asked of the government and folks and so on in there.

[Fallon Farinacci]

There are 13 for Canadians.

[Unknown]

So for any Canadian listeners, there's 13. It's quite simple. Like they're. They are laid out. There's. And they can be applied in the States too, because unfortunately, MMIWG doesn't. No borders. And it's happening to indigenous women across the globe. And so there are calls for justice that can easily be implemented. And then people can find me on Instagram and tick tock at Fallon Farinacci. You'll have the spelling because.

[Annie Elise]

Yes, I'll have all the links, the direct links and the spelling for all of this.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And then I have my website, too, FallonFarenacci.com so people can follow along. And the fundraiser for anyone that wants to donate, it's still there. They could just either Google celebrate Indigenous resilience gofundme and my name or it's.

[Fallon Farinacci]

Linked in my bio.

[Annie Elise]

We'll link it here in the show, too, just so that it's an easy click.

[Unknown]

Thank you.

[Annie Elise]

Of course.

[Unknown]

Of course.

[Annie Elise]

Well, I want to thank you again for joining today and for sharing your story, because I know it can never. It's never easy each time.

[Fallon Farinacci]

So I really appreciate it and I want to echo my things back because without spaces and platforms like this to.

[Unknown]

Share, you know, it just, it's like I just think of myself when I was pressing enter and the GoFundMe, like, no one cares. And you are. You're honoring myself, my parents and my brothers. So I just want to express to you how grateful I am for this based.

[Annie Elise]

That means a lot.

[Unknown]

Thank you.

[Annie Elise]

Well, and thank you to all of you guys for listening. I know it's definitely a longer episode today, but we had so much important stuff to go over. I'll be back with you on Thursday. Thank you guys for tuning in. Check all of the links out below and we'll be back soon. All right, bye.

[Unknown]

Thank you.