Podcast Summary: Serialously with Annie Elise

Episode 349: Deadly Obsession – Lilie James Stalked and Bludgeoned to Death
Release Date: December 22, 2025
Host: Annie Elise | Audioboom Studios

Overview:

In this emotionally charged episode, Annie Elise dissects the tragic murder of Lilie James, a high-achieving 21-year-old water polo coach and student brutally killed by a coworker and brief romantic interest, Paul Tyson, at a prestigious Sydney private school. The case is a sobering look at stalker behavior, the dangers of digital tracking, the escalation of control and obsession in relationships, and the hidden signs of domestic violence that can appear even in casual, short-term pairings.

Main Theme & Purpose

• Theme:
  Examining the dangerous escalation from micro-control to deadly obsession in relationships, and recognizing the red flags that are often overlooked—especially among young adults.
• Purpose:
  To shed light on the realities of stalking, coercive control, and how quickly such dynamics can turn deadly, challenging assumptions that only long-term relationships hold risk, and highlighting the importance of recognizing unhealthy behaviors early.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: Lilie’s Life and Ambitions

[03:15 - 08:30]

• Lilie James was a beloved, ambitious, and energetic young woman, known for her commitment to sports and her strong work ethic.
  • "She wasn't just an athlete. She loved the strategy, the teamwork, the whole world around competitive sports." (Annie Elise, 06:50)
• Juggled university, social life, and a part-time coaching role at St. Andrews Cathedral School in Sydney.
• Her life took a darker turn with the onset of an intense, brief relationship with colleague Paul Tyson.

2. The Relationship: Red Flags and Escalation

[14:00 - 26:00]

• Started casually, both parties insisting on no pressure or commitment.
  • “They were on the same page... No mixed signals. There was nobody secretly hoping for more but just trying to play it cool.” (Annie Elise, 13:50)
• Paul's behaviors shifted rapidly from nosey texts to possessiveness and control:
  • Commented if Lilie took "too long to text back,"
  • Became "needier and more controlling by the day," tracking her movements, interrogating contacts.
• After Lilie spent time with another man during Paul’s Bali vacation, his response became aggressive and entitled, leading to the breakup.
  • “He got angry, lecturing her that she had done something wrong. Almost like she belonged to him now. That was obviously a huge red flag.” (18:45)
• Paul didn’t accept the breakup, begging her to maintain some connection and creating a fake Snapchat account to monitor Lilie.

3. Digital Stalking and Obsession

[26:30 - 36:00]

• Paul used Snapchat's location-sharing to track Lilie’s real-time movements.
  • “He wasn’t checking in out of concern… He was making sure that she didn’t go anywhere he didn't approve of.” (27:55)
• Friends noticed his constant monitoring but misinterpreted it as heartbreak rather than controlling behavior.
• Escalated to real-life stalking: renting a car, circling Lilie’s house, taking photos, and returning multiple times over the span of days.
  • “He needed control. He needed to know.” (34:00)

4. The Murder: Tragic Timeline & Investigation

[36:00 - 44:00]

• On October 25, Paul lured Lilie to a preselected school bathroom, staged a cleaning sign to direct her inside, then attacked and killed her with a hammer.
  • "He stood there for nearly two minutes, frozen... and then suddenly he moved. He broke out... and he stormed into the bathroom. That was the last thing this camera captured before Lilie’s murder." (43:05)
• He sent cryptic texts from Lilie’s phone to her father, Jamie—likely intending for the father to find her body.
• Administrators and paramedics discovered Lilie after an eerily calm anonymous call (believed to be Paul) to emergency services.
  • See next section for transcript.

5. The Chilling Emergency Call

[39:31 - 42:29]

Police Emergency Call
“Hi Katrina, I would like to report a body in St. Andrews Cathedral School... There is a body in a bathroom on the right hand side of the sports area… I don't remember when I was there. A couple of hours ago. Female… I think someone should just go in there before people arrive in the morning.” (Caller, 39:31–41:29)

• Annie notes the calm, evasive tone was immediately a red flag for detectives.

6. Aftermath: Paul’s Suicide and Pattern of Behavior

[51:00 - 58:30]

• After the murder, Paul transferred a final rent payment to his roommates, then drove to cliffs at Diamond Bay, where he likely died by suicide.
• Police discovered evidence of prior stalking and a pattern of dangerous control in Paul’s past relationships—including flying internationally to confront a previous partner.
  • “He punched a tree that was right next to her head, saying that he hit the tree because he couldn’t hit what he really wanted to.” (57:00)

7. Lessons and Family Messages

[58:45 - 01:03:15]

• Lilie’s parents emphasize the need to teach children not only ambition and independence, but also how to handle rejection and setbacks in relationships:
  • “For Lilie and her friends, we’re bringing up women who are strong, educated… But are we teaching our kids how to handle rejection in relationships? I don’t know that we’re teaching our kids that everything’s not going to go their way.” (Lilie’s mother, 1:00:45)
• Annie reiterates:
  • “Sometimes it doesn’t look like this years-long dramatic marriage or abusive situation. Sometimes it’s five weeks with someone that you assumed was safe because you worked with them and they seemed normal.” (Annie Elise, 1:01:55)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Special people come into the world, and they seem to go out of the world way too soon. And that's how I see Lilie.” (Annie Elise, 01:14)
• “When is that boundary crossed between truly caring about somebody’s well-being… to being possessive, to needing to know their every move?” (Annie Elise, 25:50)
• On obsessive escalation:
  • “He rented a silver Yaris… circled her neighborhood for a full hour, looping around her house… He was taking photos from multiple angles, making notes in his phone: ‘outside house with brother’s car, brother’s car, car one on other side.’” (33:20)
• On Lilie’s mother’s message:
  • “Are we teaching our kids that everything’s not going to go their way?” (01:00:45)

Important Timestamps & Segments

• Lilie’s Background: 03:15 – 08:30
• The Relationship & Red Flags: 14:00 – 26:00
• Stalking Escalation: 26:30 – 36:00
• Murder Timeline: 36:00 – 44:00
• Emergency Call (Transcript): 39:31 – 42:29
• Investigation & Paul’s Suicide: 51:00 – 58:30
• Paul’s History of Stalking: 58:30 – 01:01:30
• Family Reflections & Closing: 01:01:30 – 01:03:15

Tone & Style

Conversational, empathetic, direct—Annie Elise guides listeners with compassion for the victim and family, a clear understanding of the factual timeline, and thoughtful advice on recognizing coercive control. She urges listeners to question assumptions about what domestic violence "looks like."

Takeaways for Listeners

• Controlling, stalking, and obsessive behaviors can escalate quickly—even in short, ostensibly casual relationships.
• Digital tools can be weaponized for stalking; location features on apps like Snapchat and Instagram can put people at risk.
• Listen to your instincts and the instincts of loved ones: what seems like ‘caring’ can, with context, reveal deep control and manipulation.
• Families and educators must discuss both ambition and emotional resilience—including how to handle relationship rejection safely.
• Annie reminds: “Be nice. Don’t kill people. Don’t share your location on Snapchat or Instagram or anywhere else unless it’s your family and people that you trust… and just please always watch your back.” (1:03:10)

If you or someone you know is experiencing stalking or relationship violence, help is available. Take all concerns seriously; trust your gut, and remember Lilie’s story.