Can we talk about women masking at work?

I spend a lot of time in conversation with women who are the only woman or one of very few women in the room at work. There is a fatigue and malaise that comes from being in this position long term - even if you enjoy and respect many of the men you’re sitting beside.

When a person is notably different from the majority of the people around them, they mask themselves to fit in, be taken seriously, gain a competitive advantage, and maintain safety. Here are some of the ways many women routinely mask in male-dominated workplaces:

Altering vocal pitch and language
Modifying speech patterns to avoid feminine speech markers and amplify masculine ones
Dressing to look “good” but also professional, well kept, not too showy, not too sharp
Having hair and makeup done in a way that suits the room vs suiting comfort
Suppressing natural emotional reactions
Avoiding vulnerability
Maintaining a calm and demure demeanor no matter how heated others are getting
Controlling facial expressions
Laughing at jokes even if uncomfortable
Participating in meaningless conversations (sports, tech, male-dominated hobbies)
Dismissing or hiding personal interests and hobbies
Avoiding or downplaying family situations
Positioning self as “one of the guys”
Avoiding asking questions or seeking help

Many women are so conditioned to masking that they don’t know they are doing it until they are in an environment where they no longer have to do it.

One of the reasons I have built so many group coaching programs for women over the last decade is because of how deeply impactful it is when women come together and drop their masks. In these containers, deep growth and transformation transpire.

No facades. No faking it. Only full transparency. All you. All out. THIS is the key to your future as a woman leader.

In this episode, I talk through what masking looks like, what masking is costing you, and how you can start to drop your mask to show up more fully as you. All you.

Episode Highlights:

00:00 Understanding Masking in Women at Work
02:46 The Impact of Masking on Emotional Well-being
06:01 Navigating Gender Dynamics in Professional Spaces
09:06 Recognizing and Supporting Masking Behaviors
11:48 The Costs of Masking: Emotional and Professional
15:06 Strategies for Unmasking and Authenticity
18:00 Creating Supportive Spaces for Women
21:08 How You Can Take Action on This Episode

Links Mentioned:

Join Aligned, my Women’s Leadership Incubator for values-driven women leaders looking to be more loud in their leadership in 2025: saradean.com/aligned
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930: LEADERSHIP TIPS: The Hidden Costs of Women Masking at Work