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What happens when the clock hits 50? Is it any different than any other year? Let's talk about it. Welcome to Homemade. I'm Shannon Casey. How's your summer going? I hope it's been going good. I know I've been enjoying my summer. I apologize. I've been, I've been enjoying summer. I've been away enjoying summer. I traveling with family, went to Hawaii, went to Florida, went bunch of different places, traveling with family. Also caretaking, taking care of some of the older people in the family too. So that's been a big part of the summer. But. But how's your summer going? I had a birthday this summer. My, my birthday is in the summertime. I have been going all these birthdays, but my birthday was also in the summer. And that's what we're gonna talk about on this episode. So I won't even talk about it too much here. I hope you enjoy the story. Honestly, it crept up on me faster than I expected. I kind of think of myself as ageless. Like, I don't age fast. My hair doesn't even grow fast. My biography picture that I send for most my events is like 10 years old, but I look the same. You know, my friends have friends of various ages. I've dated various ages. I never really reference my age in anything that I do. I don't talk about my age. You know, if you listen to the podcast, I don't, I don't really bring up age. I never feel like the old guy in the room. Like I'm just son and everybody and treating everybody like they my kids because I'm in all types of rooms. Then I noticed something. I noticed like I was being invited to all these birthday parties. I'm like, why is there so many damn birthday parties? Men don't. We don't go to all these birthday parties. Then I noticed that all the birthday parties were 50th birthday parties. Like big event, 50th birthday party we had all get together. Then I thought to myself, hmm, I'm about to be 50. It's gonna be my 50th birthday. To me, 50 was never like old. I never considered 50 being old. And I get that credit to my dad. My dad was always a young 50. I was 15 when he was 50. He had me at 35, so. So I was only 15 when he was 50. And from what I remember him being 50, he never seemed old. He was in shape. He was fast talking. He had young girlfriends. You know, I never looked at 50 years old. You can even ask My friends, my dad would come to my basketball games. This is in Detroit. He'd be wearing a mink coat with a young lady on his arm and, and screaming from the stand, Shannon, Shannon, get, get, get up and down the court, you know, just screaming from the stands, just loud as hell. But I never looked at 50 years old. That's always been the framework in my mind. It's never been reading glasses and body aches and AARP and, and talking about surgeries all day long. That's never been my thought of 50 years old. And then in Detroit people get wilder at 50. I mean motorcycles, Corvettes, those, those little, those three wheel motorcycles. I forget what they call the old people be partying. Seem like more than the 21 year olds to me. They always got a party. White party, black party, fishnet party, they got all kind. If you live in Detroit or if you know Detroit, you know what I'm talking about. The old people be going out to party. But what about me? But what about me? How do I plan to navigate my 50s? I have some thoughts on it. My first thought is to prioritize my health. That's the most important thing for me, making sure my health is a priority. As I caretake and look at the people in my life, the older people I can see, the ones who took care of themselves, ate well exercised and all those things. Even though I'm in good shape now, I want to lose more weight. I want to keep my, my weightlifting schedule at least three times a week. I want to get my body ready for any surprises because surprises do come. We don't know what 50 holds and beyond 50 holds. So I've been blessed with a pretty healthy life thus far. But I want to be prepared. I don't want to take any chances. I want to give myself the best chance, the best fighting chance. Another thing I want to nurture relationships. I isolate myself at times. I'm kind of a hermit. Sometimes I stay to myself. I, I'm naturally an introvert. Although I can be kind of outgoing. I can't be like an outgoing introvert a lot of times. I'm very charismatic in some ways, pat myself on the back in that way. But naturally I like to be by myself. But I'm a challenge that I'm going to get out, go hang out with friends more, go see people more, go laugh more. That's very important to me. Laughter is very important to me. So I plan to do that in my friendships. I don't like judgmental friendships. I don't want to Judge our laughter, our conversations on some PC norms, because sometimes I'm, I'm way out of that. I, I, I'm, I even scale that back for the podcast sometimes. But with my friends, we talk about everything, you know, so definitely do that in, in nurture friendships and nurture relationships, even romantic relationships and also family, you know, I've been spending a lot more time with family, which is very important to me. Another thing is accept my maturity. I've always been a 50 year old in a lot of ways. Even when I was 20, I acted 50 sometimes. And now that I'm 50, sometimes I act 20. But at this age, I am 50 and I want to accept my maturity. I don't need permission for every move. I don't need validation from anyone in any of my moves. I can wear my suits and my ties and my sport coats and it look cool, classy, as much as I want, even though I always kind of did that. But I'm gonna do it a lot more. In my 50s, I'm emotionally mature, which means I can walk away from intense situations. Also, I can fight. But I do it based on my values. I don't do it just because you feel like you riled me up. I can have immovable standards. Immovable like the juggernaut, like Thor's hammer. I don't eat that, I don't drink that. I don't go to after hours in the wild hundreds on the east side of Detroit and hang out with these young folks where anything could happen. I turn my music down. I don't blast it too loud in my ears because ears, I want to keep them as long as I can. I'm mature. I'm mature. I'm a grown up. I'm 50. So I mentioned that I've been invited to all these parties. It's all these 50th birthday parties. And it's like every other weekend there's a 50th birthday party. And I really didn't want a personal 50th birthday party, but I'm in a group chat with all my friends from high school, like this a group of guys who I know 30, 40 years, and we just all having 50th birthday parties. So my friend Martez, who lived right around the block from me, actually his house was like right behind my house. I lived on 19th street, he lived on 18th street, and, and he text me and say, hey, Shannon, your birthday party next, man. And I told you, hey, Marty, man, why don't we just like group all the birthday parties Together, all the August birthday parties. We could just have one 50th birthday party, and it just represent everybody. I don't have to have no individual birthday party. And he was like, yeah, yeah, okay, we go do that. We go do that. And then on the group chat, like, right after we got off the phone, he put up Shannon's 50th birthday party. Everybody come. You got to come. You know, 50th birthday. I'm like, all right, I go front. It caused a little anxiety in me because I really didn't even want to party. But I settled into it and went in that direction because I deserve a birthday party, too. So we made up a little flyer, and it was at a cigar bar, and all my friends were coming, part of the group trap friends. And I invited other friends, and I invited my family, and everyone showed up, and I went. I took a little bit of an edible before I went, just to loosen me up some. And then everybody started buying me drinks. It was like whiskey after whiskey after. I wasn't even done with one whiskey, and somebody ordered me another whiskey, and I'm just drinking all these whiskeys, and I had to switch. Switch it over to beers, but they buy me the beers, too. And I don't know, like, when I'm drinking, I just start talking and talking and talking. My dad was there. He even said, man, you talking so much. And I. I was. I was like, I hope my breath ain't sticking because I'm. I'm doing a lot of talking, but it's my party. If my breath stinking if. If I'm talking too much. It's my party. So I saw my friends, had a great time, and it felt good to celebrate 50 years. And that's my story. What's your story? Tell me about your 50th or 40th or 30th or. Or 60th or 70th. Talk to me, but tell me about your 50th if you had a 50th, too. All right. Make sure you subscribe to Shannon case's Homemade on YouTube, Apple Podcast, Spotify, wherever you listen to podcasts, subscribe. Follow me at Shannon Casein on most social media platforms. There's a lot more stories there. And then join the Patreon you want to support the stories, become a friend@patreon.com backslash Shannon Casein enjoying the conversation as well. I want to Hear about your 50th birthday party. Next, we're going to talk about the decade of the 50s, because I really don't know what to expect. I don't know. When I was young I had my expectations of what 50 would look like. But reality can be a lot different than expectations. I had my expectations of the 40s and it didn't go the way I had divorce. I had all kinds of things that happened in the 40 40s. I moved, I did all these other things. So what would the 50s look like? I don't know. I asked myself. I have no idea. Let's talk about it. All right, so what should I expect in my 50s? Some have been here before and done it. You know, I'm just starting. I had expectations, but the reality is a different story. Let's talk about it. What's the capitalist I am? I don't know that keeping it real. I have no idea about the 50th decade. I just turned 50 and I thought I would have some idea of what this age would look like. But it turns out that I have no idea. I don't know anything. So here's my list of what I expected at 50 and then what's the reality? Maybe it helps some younger people out there, maybe some older folks can relate or check in and let me know what's up. I expected wisdom at 50. Like by now I should have been unlocked some secret code of life. And I'm walking around and I'm quoting ancient scripts and philosophies and all the books that I've read, I'm sharing those with others and people are, are sitting at my feet. But in reality I'm asking Google and Chat GPT how to do everything. And I'm often asking someone younger than me how to do this. How do I prompt this the right way? And you know, what's the deal with this and how to do this? So totally different. I expected money. I mean a lot of money. At 50, I thought I'd be swimming in money. Money wouldn't even matter anymore. Beach house, mountain cabin, penthouse, mini mansion, investments upon investments, rich uncle dad energy. In reality, I'm actually looking at the CVS Rewards receipt to see how I'm gonna save $5 on a 15 order. On my next visit to the pharmacy, I've got one of those $10 off of $20 receipts before. That's a good ass deal. It's just been a lot of bad decisions. Some good decisions, but a lot of bad decisions. You know, bitcoin is over a hundred thousand dollars now and I, I thought about it, actually I bought some and sold it, but I should have kept it. But hey, we all have regrets. I have many. I expect it to look distinguished, you know, to look like a salt and pepper beard, custom suits, grown up elegance. Every day I'm wearing sport coats and slacks to the grocery store. In reality, I'm wearing workout clothes most of the time because I have to stay at the gym to stay in shape to fight this old age. However, I am embracing my ball spot. If you've noticed, not a hat on right now. I'm embracing it. Distinguished, right, boss? Spots are distinguished. I expected respect. I thought turning 50 automatically meant reverence. People calling me sir, asking for advice, deferring to my decision and my wisdom. I like the idea of hearing Mr. Casing on a regular basis. In reality, my Gen Z daughter mostly looks at me like I'm trying too hard on everything. If I ask her to to check out my fit, she thinks that's corny. The only sir I get is from people who trying to get past me on the sidewalk because I walk too slow. I got this little limp in my leg. I walk too slow. I expected peace of mind at 50. I thought all the chaos in my mind would have calmed down. The career is set. The kids were raised. Everything is smooth. It's easy living in reality. Life is still life. The kids need to have rides from the school to practice to the mall to the salon to the Starbucks. Bills keep coming. Sometimes I'm wondering if I'm doing enough. Sometimes I just laugh at all the chaos that's still around because it means that I'm still here. I'm still living. I'm still here. I expected stability. The house that's paved off. The car that never breaks down. The life with no surprises. In reality, one of the cars is in the shop right now. The house needs a new porch. I have to work on another house to get that livable. And all set. Surprises keep coming. The difference is I don't panic as much anymore. At 50, you realize that everything can get handled. It always does. I expected to slow down. I thought 50 was the age where you sit on the porch and you sip your iced tea or lemonade and you talk about the good old times and you let the young folks go out there and do all that running around. In reality, I'm still running around. I'm still going after my dreams and my ideas like I did in my 20s and my 30s. I'm tired, but I'm still moving forward. I'm still moving ahead. And to be honest, I like the action to a degree. So yeah, I had no idea what 50 would look like. But maybe that's the point. Does expectations ever really match reality? And the reality is that I'm blessed when I put it in perspective. I'm very blessed and I'm very grateful. I'm actually on the winning side of things when I really think about it. But what about you? What's your thoughts? What was your expectation of 50? And then what's the reality? Talk to me. So I want to take some time to thank the Friends of Homemade Stories. The Friends of Homemade Stories keep the show going and I appreciate you. Thank you to my friend Brennan S. Thank you for the PayPal from Blacksburg, Virginia, Melissa B. In Knoxville, Tennessee. Thank you for the PayPal. Michael E. In Oakland, California I appreciate you joining the Patreon. You're a long time listener friend of Homemade Stories. We know each other well. Amanda E. In Loomis, California I appreciate you joining the Patreon. To my best friends. Tony D. Thank you for joining the Patreon. I hope this summer was peaceful for you, man. I appreciate you big time. Thank you to all the kind words. I got to thank you, appreciate you back in Australia. I hope that you enjoy summer. Thank you for sharing the articles. Janai I appreciate all your positive podcast energy. Keep it coming. I appreciate all the friends of Homemade. Join the Patreon Become a Friend of homemade@patreon.com Shannon Kas or you can use Cash app go direct dollar sign Shannon Casen I appreciate that too. Shout out to everyone who had your 50th birthday this year. It's a new stage in life. It's honestly a switch. I think that 50 is a big year and I'm getting ready for this new stage. I'm, I'm settling into it right now and I'm happy to to be here. Make sure you like and subscribe. Be a friend. Leave a comment. You know, join the conversation. The beats on this show are by Echo Finch and Margin of Freedom. Follow at Shannon Casen on most social media. Join the Patreon Become a friend of the stories@patreon.com Shannon Kayson and if you're interested in workshops, I've been doing more workshops speaking in Engage. Oh so many more speaking engagements coming up. And merch you like the merch. Go to shannon cason.com I'm gonna be right back. Honestly, the summer is over so it's time to put in some work. I appreciate you. Now that's Homemade.