Beej (9:38)

They.

Shannon Cason (9:39)

Oh, Shannon. Oh, number two is coming for number one. I'm coming for the number one spot. So they going crazy. The Grown Ups everybody who back there, The. The. The bad grown ups, why they ain't stopping the fight. But grown Ups kids, they all in the backyard. They're going crazy. So they reset it. Like, everybody break it up for a second. And then they reset us. Me and Nate and I do the same exact combination. Jab, jab, right. Jab, jab, right. Hit Nate again. Another crowd going crazy. Oh, we got a new number one. We got a new number. They going crazy. And it does feel good. I ain't go front. It feel good. So they reset us again. And this time, I knew Nate wouldn't go for that same combination. Like, I would have to do something new. So what I did was I said, okay, I'm gonna do jab, jab, and uppercut, because he's gonna duck this right this next time. So we in, and I go jab, jab. And then Nate ducks, and I throw an uppercut, and I hit Nate with the uppercut. But with the uppercut, I bring Nate back up. And Nate, like, I say, he a big kid. He's strong. He was. He probably was lifting 225 as a 12 year old because he was lifting 500 as a. As a teenager. So I hit him with that uppercut. He comes up, and then we grab each other, and we're holding each other, like in a kind of a bear hug. Like, we just holding each other. And one of Nate's arms slips out of the bear hug, and he hits me in the face. And he didn't even have full power, like, because he couldn't. All he. All it was was just his hand coming down, but then big old paws. He hit me. And all I remember was seeing lights. Like, it was like a flash of light. It was like actual fireworks. When you see that on, like, the TV show. And It'd be fireworks and Batman. Boom. Pow. It was just like that, really. I'm gonna be honest. I didn't want to fight anymore after Nate hit me. So he actually wondered. But everybody saw me do the jab, jab right, the jab, jab, right, and the jab, jab, uppercut. So everybody was saying that I won the fight, but by that time, they have broke it up, and Benedict hit me so hard that I. I didn't want to fight anymore. Anyway, so I go home, and of course, I don't tell my parents that I got in the fight. I don't tell my grandma, my mom, my sister. I don't tell anybody that. I just kind of, like, get the dirty clothes and put them away and change my clothes and don't tell anybody anything. And later that day, Nate knocks on my door. So I come to the door. I'm like, I really don't want a rematch. I do not want a rematch with Nate. But Nate comes to the door in peace. He's by himself. And I come outside, and Nate says, good fight, man. That was a good fight. And I tell Nate that I had been practicing with my cousin, and my dad was teaching me some moves, and he was telling me that, you know, you really got, man. You got. You really can fight now. You really can fight. I remember we were sitting leaning against my grandma's El Dorado, and we was just talking, and we never had problems after that. Me and Nate remained friends all through high school, and it was always a mutual respect because we had that fight as kids, and we never fought again. We never had any problems again, and we always had mutual respect for one another. And I talked to Nate about a month ago, and it was the same respect. Nate, he's working now. I believe he got a new wife or old wife. I don't know, but I know he married and still live in the same neighborhood. And much respect to Nate. I appreciate it. And sometimes a little fight just shows respect. Unless everybody know that there should be some respect for one another. All right, Okay. I did a show with WBZ Chicago called the Trouble. And this is where I talk to people in trouble. And I wanted to do something similar to that for this new format for homemade. But I want to go into, like, the grittier stories, the true crime. I listen to a lot of true crime podcasts, and I want to kind of give my entry to that. Some of these might be true crime, Some of them might be interviews, some of them might be scandals, but it all be people dealing with trouble on whatever topic we talk about for this week. Today we're talking about friends. I'm a true fan of of True Crime and and Scandal podcast. So this is. This is a segment to scratch that itch. I hope you enjoy it. It's called the Trouble with how well do we truly know our friends? And what are the signs to indicate that the friendship has turned toxic? Let's talk about it on this week's the Trouble.

Beej (15:03)

Come quietly or there Will be Trouble.

Shannon Cason (15:07)

The Trouble with being the third best friend she was only 16, bright, sharp, full of sass and laughter. Skyler niece was the kind of teenager who tweeted her thoughts in real time, spent hours watching shows like Pretty Little Liars, and had two best friends that she told everything her parents said. She was independent, headstrong, and always spoke her mind. A typical teenage girl with a typical teenage life in Star City, West Virginia. But on July 6, 2012, Skyler Nice disappeared. Security footage from her apartment complex showed her sneaking out of her bedroom window just after midnight. A car pulled up. She climbed in and this was the last time she was seen alive for months. Her family, her school, the entire town were in agony. Posters were taped to light poles, Facebook groups were launched. Prayers were said as visuals. Her friends, Rachel Sh and Sheila Eddy cried publicly, gave interviews, and helped pass out flyers. But something was off. And that's their pictures right there. Rachel with the red hair and Sheila a little taller there. Rachel and Sheila had been Skylar's best friends since middle school. They were inseparable, a trio always seen laughing in the hallways and taking selfies together. But in the months before Skylar vanished, things began to shift. Skylar started feeling left out. Her last tweets hinted at a betrayal. Cryptic, angry outbursts like you doing shit like that is why I can never completely trust you. And people can be so mean for absolutely no reason. That was some of her tweets. She knew something was happening. She didn't know how dark it really was. As the investigation deepened, so did the cracks in the girls stories. Eventually, nearly six months after Skylar disappeared, Rachel Shoaff broke. On January 3, 2013, Rachel walked into the police station with the secret so cold it didn't seem real. We stabbed her. Rachel and Sheila had picked Skylar up that night, just as they planned, and they drove her to a remote spot in the woods across the Pennsylvania state line, a place they had been before to hang out and smoke weed. They laughed, they talked, pretending everything was fine. Then, on the count of three, one, two, three. They attacked her, each with a kitchen Knife stabbing her over and over again. Skylar managed to run, but they caught her. She fought hard, she begged, but they kept stabbing. When Skylar stopped moving, they stood over and watched her breathe and bleed out. They buried her under branches and dirt. Then they bathed together in a nearby creek, got rid of the evidence, and went on about their lives. They had killed their best friend for no good reason. Later, when asked by investigators, Rachel's answer was chilly. We didn't like her anymore. The truth broke something in the town. They weren't strangers or troubled kids from some distant place. They were honor students, cheerleaders, girls with futures and college plans. Sheila even tweeted, rest easy, Skylar. You'll always be my best friend. While knowing what she had done. The backlash was immediate. People were shocked. Horrified parents looked at their own children differently. How could this happen? What went so wrong? Rachel Shoaff pleaded guilty to second degree murder. She was sentenced to 30 years in prison with the possibility of parole in 10 years. Sheila Eddy pleaded guilty to first degree murder and received life in prison and eligible parole for parole in 15 years. They're both serving time now in separate facilities. But the story doesn't end there. It never does. Skyler's murder changed laws in West Virginia and inspired Schuyler's law, which requires immediate public notification when a child is reported missing, even if there's no evidence of abduction. And then there's another part, the obsession. Even now, this case draws intense attention online. People dig through the old tweets, they analyze the photos, they romanticize the crime, just like I am now. I suppose this was a trio friendship that turned deadly. A trust so deeply portrayed that it shook a community, a country, to its core. Skyler never saw it coming. And that's what makes the story stay with you. Not just the violence, but it's that Skyler never saw it coming. The betrayal wore the face of a friend is a vicious story. Being that third friend in a relationship. And like a friendship relationship, and it goes wrong. Everybody has the experience of being that third friend, like the jealousy of the third friend. But it's amazing how these kids took it to that degree of killing their friend. Now, there's been some friends in my life where the breakup with the friend, I almost considered it divine in some way, like. Like it was meant to be. Not to say that, that they were bad kids. I might have been divine on their part, you know, them to go their way and my me to go my way. But you have to be able to walk away from friendship. Sometimes it's just Just one of them things. Like to learn from this and you got to have that intuition to fill it. Sometimes not, not saying anything with scholars fought at all, but just trying to get something out of this tragic, tragic situation. I want to put Skyler's picture up here and say, rest in peace to Skyler. Beautiful young lady, look at her. Beautiful young lady who didn't get a chance to, to live her life fully. But that's the trouble with being the third friend. Okay, no idea. This segment is like an attempt to quench my curiosities. I love new knowledge. I love information. I listen to a lot of informational podcasts. If it's Lex Friedman or, or Joe Scott or, you know, Autumn Star Trek, I think it's called, or whatever, the one with, with the astrophysics guy. I listen to those kind of podcasts because I like to learn just random information. But this is my side of that because I have no idea about a lot of stuff. But this will give me a chance to research some stuff so we can learn some new stuff together, you know, so no idea. So my question is, what kind of friends are you surrounded by? Which ones are you missing from your life? And most importantly, what kind of friend are you? You. I'm talking to you. What kind of friend are you? What's the capitalist?

Beej (23:51)

I am. I don't know that. Keeping it real.

Shannon Cason (23:55)

All right, so this is no idea, I have no idea about the different types of friendship. So we go talk about it. We throw around the word friend like it's a one size fits all. But the ancient Greeks like to break it down. Friendship comes in all different types and forms and layers. And really these are the Greek words for love. But love and friendship go hand in hand. Love and friendship are closely tied together. I remember back when I was in church, we would have our bibles and it would be like, go to the Greek Bible. We would go to a Greek to learn like words and because different words, Greeks have different words for, for the same word that we might use in English. So we're gonna break this down and you might recognize a few of these. And which ones do you relate to? Let's talk about it. One of the words for love, Greek words for love or friendship we will go with friendship is ludus lotus, which is playful friendship. This is the friend that makes you laugh. Keep things light. It's all games and fun and jokes and teasing. You might not call them at 3am during a crisis, but these are your regular Tuesday memorable friends. Just. Just friendships that remind us that not everything has to be so serious. And this reminds me of my early childhood friends, you know, my friends from school and college. Like we like to call them associates. Associates that I keep things light with, that I just have surface conversations with. And I like those kind of friends. You know, you can, you can always crack jokes and have a good time with those friends. Another type of friendship is arrows. Arrows. That's romantic friendship or romantic love. When desire meets connection, you get arrows. It's attraction, chemistry, maybe a little chaos. Arrows blow blurs the line between friendship and romance. Sometimes it involves something longer lasting, but sometimes it burns out fast. But either way, it usually changes everything. Most my arrows friendships like relationships that, that start with the arrows kind of feel or vibe. They burn quick. Like it's a quick burn and then it's no longer ongoing. It's just like a flow, fleeting thing like a Instagram. Like every now and again like these arrows relationships is. Is. It's the orgasm and it's done basically. You know what I'm saying? There's no substance to those arrows relationships because I'm a substance type of person. I kind of like to know you better than just that arrows feeling. But this is. That's one type of friendship. Then you got Storge. Storge is familiar friendship. This love is quiet, steady, built over time. It's the friend you've known since elementary school, the cousin who's more like a sibling. Storge is. Is love that feels safe, uncomplicated, until it's gone. And I think there I have a lot of store gay friendships. I mean, I think of cousins like I even think of my old hip hop crew 31. We were back when we were in Detroit because we. It's like a family love when we see each other. Like I saw, I saw DJ House Shoes not too long ago at a, at a. At a Dilla event. Now I don't even talk to house shoes that much. We see each other online, but when I saw him, it was just like a immediate familiarity with knowing each other from, from way back when in the past. So I, I feel like Storge that. That uncomplicated, just safe relationship. Many marriages fall into store. Gay too, I would imagine. But store, that's storage. Then you have pragma. Pragma is an enduring love. Enduring love. Pragma is a slow burn. It's a long haul. Friendship built on loyalty, share goals and time. Your childhood friend that you still talk to, a co worker who became a confidant. Pragma isn't flashy, but it's the one that you can count on through every season. I may have been wrong. Pragma may be more like that marriage than marriage friendship. That marriage love or the co worker who you always look out for, even outside of work. Those older friends that you have kind of like mentor friendships. That makes me think of the pragma slow burn. Slow burn. It's solid, but it's a slow burn. Then you got fellowsha. Fellowsha is self love. And this can go two ways. Healthy fellowsha is self confidence and self respect. Toxic felocia is narcissism and ego. So it's all about balance. Loving yourself so you can love others better. I. I think I have a lot of felocia. I'm doing a solo podcast right now. You know what I'm saying? I like to spend time with myself. I have. I enjoy my own company, so I think I'm pretty good on the felocious side. I don't know if I'm too negative with it, but. But I know I have a lot of felonious. Another one would be toxic friendship. That's not on the list here, but I have it on my list. So Toxic friendship. When a friendship is not a friendship at all. And let's be honest, some of the friendships we have are like this. Like friendships that feel like emotional labor. They're built on guilt, competition and control. You walk away from every interaction drained. Recognizing toxic connections is hard, but it's necessary because real friendship shouldn't feel like survival. If your friendship is feeling like survival, maybe you need to walk away from that friendship. It makes me think of the story of Sheila and Skyler and Rachel. That was a toxic. A toxic friendship. Whenever I had one up ism in my friendship or even in any. Any kind of relationships. I hate that kind of feeling where we gotta always. I mean, we can compete and be competitive, but friendly competition not I gotta outdo you in every way. I don't, I don't. I don't like those kind of friendships or the friendships where I know they have an agenda and they want something from me. I mean, I live long enough that I can kind of feel the red flags, but. Or somebody playing you behind their back or behind your back and talking about you behind your back. Any chance to get which kind of stems from a jealousy and envy. I stay away from those type of friends. Or I try to break it off as soon as I can, even without even. I don't even tell them the reason why. I just kind of Like, I'm not dealing with you anymore. Another type of friendship is mania. Mania. Now, this is the dangerous side of friendship or love rooted in insecurity, codependence, obsession. When boundaries blur and jealousy reigns, mania can destroy relationships. When I see mania, I try to create some distance. And I'm not gonna lie, I used to kind of like mania because I like attention. I like. I'm a Leo. I like people have an interest in me. But at the same time, I know with that mania attention, it can switch fast. So it can change from like a love, and then it can switch to that same mania on the hate. And I've had those kind of red flags before. And I'm not gonna say too much because they might watch this show, but I just try to kind of create some distance from those mania relationships. Another one is Philia. Philia, this is deep friendship. Philia is the gold, gold standard. These are rare, beautiful friendships built on trust, respect and love of character. There's no jealousy, no hidden agenda, just mutual care and ability to grow side by side. Philly is the friend that you can sit in silence with and you can still feel heard. I think that's the friendship that we all want one day. If you got a friend in that Philia place, that's a beautiful thing. I mean, you should be grateful for that and you should be thankful for that. I think I like road trips. Without even saying too many words and just respecting one another. Like serious respect where you really care about the person and you wouldn't do anything to disrespect them. I think that'd be a beautiful thing. Even to have Philia in a relationship, I think would be a beautiful thing. And the last one I have here is agape. Agape friendship. Agape love. This is selfless and universal love. This is love without condition. The kindness that's shown to. To strangers, the deep empathy that fuels community work. You may not even know the person well, but you show up anyway. Agape friendships remind us that love is. It isn't always about, like, knowing and all that kind of stuff. It's a human experience, I think, even in the human sense. Side, in my mind, I see agape is like a spiritual love in a. You know, it's like a love from. That's. This comes from the spirit. When I think of agape, I remember I was at an event, this lady, Jennifer, Jennifer Hickson, she actually a friend of Homemade, and we were watching something on tv and it was some people in another country who were having challenges and she Started crying looking at the TV and like, I can't watch this. And that's what I kind of see is that, that agape, like that whole, you know, I was watching, I'm just like watching the news story. But she, she was, she was touched. Like it was so, it was too heavy for her. She had to walk away. So I can see, I can see that type of love being a special kind of love. Now when you think all these types, you know, agape falaya fellowsha pragma. When you think of all these, like what, what, what do you, what do you fall in line with? What kind of friend are you? What mix of friends do you have in your life right now? Let's talk about it, talk about it in the comments. Let's ask questions about it. I want more of these. What was that? Filet. I want some of those. Filet of friends. Filet of fish. I want some filet of friends. But share any stories that come to mind in the comments and that's all the types of friendship, all the types of love and friendship. So let's take some time to appreciate the friends of homemade stories, all the friends who, who have supported the show. Thank you to Christine L. In Plymouth, Michigan. Thank you to Kenny D. For joining the Patreon. Thank you for Brendan S. In Blacksburg, Virginia. Thank you for the Paypal. Thank you for Mindy S. In Grand Rapids. I appreciate you Rebecca H. In Australia. All the way on the other side of the world. I appreciate you John L. In Indian Trail, North Carolina. Junior thank you for joining the Patreon Satchel Satchels in Gainesville, Florida. Go to Satchel's Pizza. Satchel's Pizza is a supporter of homemade. So go to Satchel's Pizza. Thank you Heidi B. In Toronto. I appreciate the PayPal. Sarah Grace in West Fork, Arkansas. I appreciate you my best friends. Vincent L. Appreciate the Cash app. Thank you Vincent. Patrick S. In Chicago, long time homemade story supporter. Thank you Patrick. Cassandra R. I appreciate you Cassandra. I appreciate the PayPal and to my plate cousins Cynthia L. In Texas. Cynthia, always looking out for me. Appreciate you Cynthia. Thank you for being a friend of homemade. I appreciate all the friends of homemade. Make sure you join the Patreon. It's patreon.com backslash Shannon case. Support the stories. I'm going to be doing more and more with this format. This is my first time, first, first time working this format. So, so, so be have, have grace on me. Have grace on me and I want to make a phone call. I want to Talk to one of my old friends. So stick around for a second. Let me see if he can pick up. What up, though, man?

Beej (38:04)

I'm cool.

Shannon Cason (38:06)

Hey. Hey. I want to ask you a question.

Beej (38:09)

Yeah, no problem.

Shannon Cason (38:12)

We've been friends a long time.

Beej (38:15)

Yeah.

Shannon Cason (38:16)

Over 40 years. Yeah. How did. How did we stay friends for that long?

Beej (38:24)

Because we're some cool ass.

Shannon Cason (38:30)

And I had to say that to you. Believe. We keep it cool, right?

Beej (38:37)

Yep.

Shannon Cason (38:38)

That's basically it, man. I think. I think. I think a part of it, too. We.

Beej (38:42)

We.

Shannon Cason (38:43)

We keep our own space. I. I'm asking you this because I'm doing my next episode on friendships, but I'm talking about broken friendships, too. Like, people who kind of break up as friends and stuff. But me and you. Like, I've had broken friendships, but me and you always stay solid. And it is with some cool. But you'd be laughing, huh?

Beej (39:06)

You told me about three weeks ago something funny. I said, damn, Sherman said something funny, and you made me laugh for three weeks. You said something three weeks ago, and you made me feel good for the next three weeks, brother, you silly. And I. I ain't gonna sit up. And you said something so funny. I said, man, you weren't playing.

Shannon Cason (39:28)

No. But even. Even in the times that we, you know, we get upset or whatever, you know, we kind of, like, let it slide, and after a while, it's kind of like a. I don't know, it's like a family relationship. After a while, you know, you. You might take time and. And, you know, it might. It might be a month before we speak to each other, but. But we always. It's always in love.

Beej (39:50)

It's always his brothers, bro.

Shannon Cason (39:54)

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, do you remember back in the day, T. Hayes would put those things. The ranking, the rankings of the kids, like, number one, number two, guess who.

Beej (40:10)

I talked to today? Like 50T. Haze.

Shannon Cason (40:14)

Are you. Yeah, you talk to TA's all the time, but you. You remember he used to set it up as. You remember that?

Beej (40:21)

I remember it.

Shannon Cason (40:23)

You remember. Do you remember this? Do you? Let me see if you remember this. You remember me and Nate got in a fight?

Beej (40:29)

Yeah, bro. That's what T. Hairy's talking about today.

Shannon Cason (40:33)

Do you remember that, though? Me and Nate?

Beej (40:35)

Yes, I do. Yes, I do.

Shannon Cason (40:37)

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Who won that fight?

Beej (40:41)

You did.

Shannon Cason (40:45)

You can laugh at that. No, no, I had been practicing. I had been practicing. But that was funny. Nate was number one.

Beej (40:58)

She said, I remember. You know what I'm saying? When they. She told me this about a month ago. I don't see why are you bringing it up? She said, but saying one thing about that.

Shannon Cason (41:11)

No, but I. I'm just bringing it up. Nate. Nate is my man. I talked to Nate not too long ago, but I just. I just was talking about it on the podcast, but I just was. I just wanted to kind of like, confirm that that was what was happening. But. But it wasn't really no big time fight. It was just me and Nate kind of gaining the respect for one another after that, you know, I remember. Yeah, but we always have respect for one another. We never really got into any fist fights or nothing like that. We always just kind of respected one another, and we was always super creative together. And I think that that was one of the biggest things with me and you is always big into the creativity. Because in my mind, you know, you always wanted to. Most creative people I know, to be honest.

Beej (41:56)

No, I wasn't trying to be like that, bro. I wasn't trying to be like that, bro.

Shannon Cason (42:01)

But I'm just saying, you one of the most creative people I know. Ain't nothing wrong with me.

Beej (42:06)

Okay, well, thank you, sir, for telling me that. I have to accept that. See, God, tell him I have to accept that. Okay? I accept that.

Shannon Cason (42:14)

Hey, I was just checking in with you, man. Just trying to. I love you, man. All right. Love you too, bro.

Beej (42:19)

All right, brother.

Shannon Cason (42:20)

All right. Yeah. All right. So that's Bees beach from the beach and Fame Dilla. Welcome to Detroit Slum Village albums, but also Beach. Been work with Master Ace. Work with a lot of different artists over time, but Beej is one of the one. He's still a star in my eyes, you know, but we've been friends over 40 years, and we stay friends, you know, we don't. We don't hang all the time, but at the same time, you know, we always keep in touch with each other, find out what each other's doing. So I appreciate beach for always being my friend. You know what I'm saying? All right, so we're gonna end it like that. Throw this back up here. Make sure you like and subscribe. Like the show. Like it. That helps me in the YouTube algorithm. Help me out. So like the show. Subscribe. Be a friend. Leave a comment below. Follow me at Shannon Casein on all the social media. Grow my. Grow my social media a little bit. Then join the Patreon. Become a friend of homemade@patreon.com backslash Shannon Casein. And if you're interested in workshop speaking engagements, I speak at schools. I've done that just the other. A couple months ago, I spoke at a university, and I'll tell you which university. Which university was it and what is it called? So I spoke at many universities. I spoke at Cuts Down University. I spoke at U of M. I spoke at Governor State University. That was the last one I went to on the south side of Chicago. So make sure you, you go into to ShannonCasing.com speaking engagements, workshops, any merch, stay in touch with me shannoncasen.com and I'll see you soon. All right. Peace. Thank you for being a part of this. I appreciate you. All right.

Beej (44:29)

Now that's homemade.