[Bonus Solo] Having an Identity Crisis, My Ideal Workout Routine, and Big Podcast Updates

Summary

Balanced Black Girl Podcast: [Bonus Solo] Having an Identity Crisis, My Ideal Workout Routine, and Big Podcast Updates

Release Date: February 28, 2025

In this bonus solo episode of the Balanced Black Girl podcast, host Les Delissa offers a candid and heartfelt update on her personal and professional journey. This episode delves deep into her current identity crisis, plans for rebranding the podcast, reflections on her year living in New York, and insights into her evolving workout routines. The episode is structured into several key sections, each highlighting significant aspects of Les's life and work.

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1. Reflections on Solo Episodes and Community Engagement (00:10 - 02:30)

Les begins by discussing her experience with solo podcast episodes, which comprised about 50-60% of her content last year. She shares the positive feedback from her community, appreciating the deeper connection formed through one-on-one conversations. However, she also addresses the challenges, noting that solo episodes are more taxing mentally despite being logistically simpler.

Notable Quote:

"Sitting and talking to myself for an extended period of time to make a cohesive episode is so much harder than being in conversation with somebody else." (00:50)

Les announces a shift to a monthly solo episode cadence, believing that spacing out these episodes will allow her to bring more valuable and diverse content by living through more experiences in between.

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2. Navigating an Identity Crisis in Content Creation (02:30 - 15:00)

Les opens up about experiencing a significant identity crisis, not personally but professionally. She feels that the wellness niche, which has been the core of her podcast since its inception in 2014, no longer aligns with her current interests and professional direction.

Key Points:

• Over Saturation of Wellness Content: After nearly 300 episodes, Les feels she has exhausted the topics within wellness that she is passionate about.
• Desire for Broader Content: She expresses a yearning to explore beyond wellness, venturing into areas like business, entrepreneurship, and the mindset of successful women.
• Pressure to Conform: Despite her evolving interests, Les feels pigeonholed by her established identity as a wellness guru, leading to internal pressure to maintain this image even when it no longer resonates with her.

Notable Quote:

"Calling it wellness kind of waters it down and doesn't really fit anymore." (05:15)

Les emphasizes the importance of authenticity, acknowledging that her current audience primarily understands her through the wellness lens, making the transition challenging but necessary for her growth.

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3. Plans for Rebranding the Podcast (15:00 - 35:00)

One of the central themes of this episode is Les’s announcement of rebranding her podcast. She reveals that later in the spring, the podcast will undergo a significant transformation to better reflect the diverse content she now wishes to explore.

Key Points:

• New Branding Goals: The new brand will move away from the restrictive notion of "balance" and embrace a broader lifestyle focus.
• Community Trust: Les reassures her listeners that the rebrand is not an abandonment but an evolution, ensuring that loyal followers remain connected through the transition.
• Positive Messaging: She aims to shift the narrative from predominantly discussing challenges and trauma to highlighting uplifting and multifaceted aspects of life.
• Protecting the Platform: Concerns about censorship and suppression under the old brand name prompted the rebrand to safeguard her business and continue delivering valuable content.

Notable Quote:

"This is really an evolution that I want everyone to be a part of." (25:45)

Les shares her excitement and apprehension about the change, highlighting the importance of evolving to stay true to her current self and the needs of her growing community.

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4. Life Update: Moving to New York and Reflections on LA (35:00 - 49:00)

Les provides a personal update on her life, sharing insights into her first year living in New York City compared to her previous four years in Los Angeles.

Key Points:

• Dynamic Lifestyle in NYC: Contrary to her experience in LA, where she felt isolated and stuck in repetitive routines, New York offers a vibrant and ever-changing environment.
• Personal Growth: The move has allowed her to connect more with the community, fostering a stronger sense of belonging and support.
• Challenges of Transition: Despite the positive changes, Les acknowledges moments of burnout from the constant activity and the need to find balance between social engagements and downtime.
• Emotional Well-being: Reflecting on her time in LA, Les realizes how the pandemic-induced isolation contributed to feelings of depression, whereas her life in NYC has been more fulfilling and authentic.

Notable Quote:

"I like who I am here more than I liked who I was there." (40:20)

Les emphasizes the significance of environment on personal well-being and how intentional living in New York has positively impacted her life.

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5. Evolving Workout Routines and Fitness Philosophy (49:00 - 55:00)

Despite expressing fatigue with discussing wellness content, Les shares her evolved approach to fitness, which aligns with her broader content goals.

Key Points:

• Shift to Class-Based Workouts: Moving away from solo training, Les now engages in various fitness classes, including strength and conditioning, Pilates, and bar classes. This change has enhanced her muscular endurance and overall fitness.
• Community and Convenience: Participating in classes provides Les with the community support and structured guidance she found lacking in solo workouts.
• Personal Satisfaction: She feels stronger, fitter, and more confident in her body than she did in her mid-20s, attributing this to her new workout regimen.

Notable Quote:

"With bar, I'm building more muscular endurance, which makes my heavy strength workouts more effective." (50:10)

Les advocates for reducing decision fatigue in fitness by relying more on structured classes, highlighting the mental and physical benefits she has experienced.

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6. Personal Aspirations and Creative Pursuits (55:00 - End)

Les concludes the episode by discussing her aspirations beyond the podcast and her current focus on achieving specific goals.

Key Points:

• Manifesting a New Apartment: A significant goal for Les this year is moving into her dream apartment. She is actively saving for this move by cutting back on expenses like nail services.
• Future Creative Projects: Les expresses a desire to delve into fiction writing and self-publishing in her 40s, treating each decade of her life as a distinct phase with its own focus.
• Balance Between Work and Play: While currently prioritizing work on the rebrand and business goals, Les plans to incorporate more playful and creative activities later in the year, such as writing classes and retreats.

Notable Quote:

"I do not feel like there's anything missing from my life right now. I consider myself such a lucky, blessed person." (53:15)

Les emphasizes a sense of contentment with her current life while remaining open to future changes and growth, encouraging her listeners to embrace their own evolution.

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Conclusion

In this introspective solo episode, Les Delissa provides an in-depth look into her ongoing personal and professional transformation. From grappling with an identity crisis within her content niche to planning a strategic rebrand of her podcast, Les demonstrates a commitment to authenticity and growth. Her reflections on moving to New York, evolving fitness routines, and future creative ambitions offer a comprehensive update for her listeners. By sharing her vulnerabilities and aspirations, Les fosters a deeper connection with her audience, inviting them to join her on this journey of continuous evolution.

Final Thoughts: Les's honesty about her struggles and excitement for her future endeavors serves as an inspiration for listeners navigating their own paths. Her decision to rebrand signifies a fearless approach to change, encouraging others to align their work with their true selves.

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Thank you for tuning into this bonus solo episode of Balanced Black Girl. Stay connected through Les’s social media channels for more updates and behind-the-scenes content as she embarks on this new chapter.

Transcript

[Unknown Host]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

[Les]

Welcome to the podcast. Happy Friday. I'm popping in for a bonus episode because normally we do episodes on Tuesdays, but I will occasionally pop out with a special Friday episode. And so that's what I'm doing today. And it's going to be a solo. It's just me. So if you listen to the podcast last year, you know that last year we did probably 50 to 60% of the episodes solo. And on one hand, that was a really fun experience because I feel like you all, as a community around this show, got to know me better. We got to just spend more time one on one. And I got so much good feedback about my solo episodes last summer. So that was. That was the good news. The bad news is doing that many solo episodes, quite literally almost took me out, because solo episodes are easier logistically because I'm just working with my own schedule, working with one camera, one mic, that. But it's actually so much harder to sit and talk to myself for an extended period of time to make a cohesive episode than it is to be in conversation with somebody else.

[Christina]

I don't know if y'all have ever.

[Les]

Sat and recorded yourselves talking to yourselves for an hour, trying to make sense and make it helpful and useful and entertaining and all of that, but I learned that it actually takes so much more out of me to be able to do that. So we're still going to be doing solo episodes this year, but I'm thinking a cadence of like, once a month is going to be so much more feasible for me. And I actually think that doing it at that cadence will make the solo episodes better, because I realized that I have so much more to talk about if I live a little life in between each episode. Because if it's just me sitting down solo every week, there's not enough. I don't have enough to talk about week to week solo versus if I do it, you know, every month or every couple of months, there's more life to be lived and I can come to the imaginary podcast table with a little bit more. So that's just the context as to why you've seen a little bit fewer solo episodes and what will be happening moving forward until I change my mind and decide to switch it up again, because this is what I do every three to five business days. But for now, I think that's what I'm going to do. So I thought that it would be fun to just do a little bit of a yappy solo life update catch up episode Because I have been a little all over the place lately. As I had mentioned at the end of last year with 2024 ending, that marked a lot of things. It marked one year living in New York, it marked one year being a full time self employed podcaster. And so I've gotten a lot of questions about how those experiences have been that I will get into. I did talk a bit about my first year of self employment, but I do think people are really curious about what life in New York is like. And then I've also just been having world's biggest identity crisis and I figured I would come talk to you all about it because I think sometimes there is this perception if you follow someone on social media who's a content creator or a podcaster, that they have everything together and that they have the answer to everything. And I certainly don't. And so I want to be honest about those times where I feel like I don't have it all together and I don't have all of the answers. And that is very much a season of life that I'm in right now. So when I say I'm having the world's biggest identity crisis, I don't mean from a personal standpoint. I feel like in my personal life and just mo the world, I feel very firmly rooted in who I am at my big age of 35, or at least the version of who I am at this age, although that will always change. But from a work standpoint, I feel like I'm having such a big identity crisis in terms of not knowing how to show up online and not knowing how to show up on the podcast. Because I feel like the space that I started in no longer fits who I am anymore. But I don't fully know what's next. So if you're newer to following me, I've been considering myself a wellness content creator since 2014. That was how I got started as a wellness blogger. I used to post workouts and I used to post recipes and then that turned into this podcast. And then that has evolved over time. And over the past, I would say probably year and a half specifically, I have just felt so over wellness content, honestly. And it doesn't mean that I don't still love wellness or that I don't care about wellness. I absolutely do. From a personal standpoint, I still have my habits that I follow, my routines that I follow, I still get my workouts in, but when it comes to sitting down and talking about wellness, I just have had no interest. I feel like on this podcast we have covered almost every wellness topic under the sun at this point. We're knocking on 300 episodes door, and I feel like I've really talked about all of the wellness topics that I care to talk about. It doesn't mean that there are areas of wellness that we haven't covered, but it means that the areas of wellness that we haven't covered, that's been kind of intentional. It's either something that I think is not best shared in a podcast format, or it's not something that I'm particularly interested in, or it's something that is maybe really scary and a downer. And I think that there's a lot of content out there specifically for us where we could talk about a lot of these scary, crazy things. And I am just not in a season where I want to talk about crazy, scary things, and I want to talk about, you know, all of the hard parts and the scary stats. I just. I'm so over it candidly, and I don't really want to talk about wellness trends. I don't. I don't want to talk about fitness. I just feel like I've talked about it every which way that I know how, and I'm in a point where I'm professionally wanting to explore different things when it comes to the podcast. I also feel that way about social media. It's like, I don't necessarily want to just post workouts every week. I certainly don't want to post recipes because Lord knows I haven't been cooking for probably about a year. I've been just eating vibes and shouldn't be giving anybody advice in that department. And so I've just felt really over talking about wellness and wellness trends and wellness things, because I'm at the point where I would rather just do it and do what works for me versus talk about it. However, where the identity crisis comes in is for the past 10 years, it has been very easy for me to just say, oh, I create wellness content. Or if someone asks me what my podcast is about, I just say, oh, it's a wellness podcast. And I find myself still saying that because it's almost like a crutch. It's a default that is very easy for people to understand. Even though I feel like what I'm actually doing now is a lot more complex and there's so much more to it than just wellness, that calling it wellness kind of waters it down and doesn't really fit anymore. But I feel like that has been the core identity of who I've been for so long that even though I no longer align with it, I still feel this pressure to conform to it or this tendency to conform to it because it's what's comfortable. So I have been having this existential identity crisis over. No longer really considering myself a wellness girly anymore, personally, but feeling like I'm kind of pigeonholed to that and wanting to branch out of it but not knowing how. And candidly, I've also just felt like, well, what else do I have to offer people? You know, I don't feel like I have expertise about anything that would be particularly interesting. Nor am I somebody that wants to make content out of intimate details in my personal life. I don't want to come here on the podcast every week and just talk about what's happening in my life, because that to me is just like, not fun and interesting. I also don't like consuming content about that, and I tend to be a little bit more private about the intimate details. So I've just been all over the place of figuring out what's next, what do I like, what do I not like? And I think I'm overthinking it. And so this year for me, I think is going to be about exploration of what is interesting me now, and bringing forth different topics, different formats, experimentation, and having wellness be a part of the story, but not having it be the whole story. Because at the end of the day, I think the more we talk about wellness, the more we overcomplicate it. Anyone who's been actively dating for the past few years knows it is not easy.

[Christina]

There are so many red flags to look out for, like bad communication, still texting their ex, not having a bed frame. But for me, one of the biggest.

[Les]

Red flags that I'm always looking out.

[Christina]

For is the state of someone's bathroom. Listen, if somebody doesn't have a tidy space, that's a big red flag. And I'll be honest, the first time I go to someone's place, I will usually do a little investigating. I'll check out what they've got in their bathroom. You know, it's toilet clean, is the tub clean, do they have good toilet paper? But for me, one of the biggest indicators of a red flag is the state of someone's bathroom. Listen, I can forgive some things. I can forgive a bad outfit choice.

[Les]

Or maybe different taste in music.

[Christina]

But what I cannot forgive is a terrible bathroom. If you have towels that have not been washed since the Obama administration, if it is messy, if it is unkempt, or worse, if you're using one ply toilet paper, it's just not going to work.

[Les]

I mean, is there any bigger turnoff than a dirty bathroom?

[Christina]

Because I have to ask, if someone doesn't care about the details in their bathroom, what other details are they neglecting? Does that mean that they're not detail oriented when it comes to planning dates.

[Les]

Or being a partner?

[Christina]

These are questions that need answers, which is why it's important research. I'm not the only one who has.

[Les]

Been conducting this research.

[Christina]

A recent Charman study revealed that three out of five people think that you can tell a lot about someone based on what's in their bathroom. Charman conducted the study to learn more.

[Les]

About toilet paper's role in dating and relationships.

[Christina]

And Interestingly, they found 76% of Americans.

[Les]

Consider premium toilet paper a green flag.

[Christina]

That means that your choice in toilet paper could make or break your first impression. I mean, think about it. If someone walks into your bathroom and they're doing a little investigating like I like to do, you want them to find the good stuff, the stuff that's quality, that's soft, that's absorbent. It says, I care about details, I care about comfort. I am an adult who makes good choices. But if they see that flimsy one ply tragedy, that's a red flag. That's why Charmin is on a mission this season to prevent the dump. Because nothing could derail a budding romance more than subpar toilet paper. Charmin Ultra Soft Smooth Tear is the ultimate green flag. It's two times more absorbent than the leading brand. It is irresistibly soft, and it even.

[Les]

Has an aesthetic wavy tear.

[Christina]

Because, yes, that matters. That means no more struggling with jagged edges or ending up with too much or too little. Now, if I'm being real, it's pretty.

[Les]

Rare that I allow someone into my space.

[Christina]

But if someone were to be so lucky to get to snoop around my bathroom, there's a couple of things they'd find. Probably enough skincare to rival the department store. They would definitely find my retainer collection. And they would also find Charmin Ultra Soft Smooth Tear, because again, I care about the details. So do yourself a favor and stock your bathroom with Charmin to prevent the dump, your future self, your guests, and your love life will thank you. And if you want to see more about how Charmin is saving relationships one role at a time, make sure you follow Charman on social Instagram and TikTok at Charmin to learn more. Trust me, this is one green flag you want to be waving.

[Unknown Host]

You Know that feeling when you were just trying to enjoy and live your life. Maybe you're grabbing a meal with your friends, you're powering through a busy day, and then suddenly your stomach has other plans.

[Les]

Yeah, I've been there.

[Unknown Host]

For me, bloating used to be a major distraction. Instead of focusing on what I love, I was stuck thinking about my gut. And that is when I knew I needed to take my gut health seriously. That's where seeds DS01 daily symbiotic comes in. It was actually the first symbiotic I ever tried over five years ago, back when I was rebuilding my gut health after antibiotics threw everything off. And let me tell you, it was works. DSO1 isn't just a probiotic. It's a clinically studied formula with 24 strains that support not just gut health, but also skin health, heart health, and gut barrier integrity. Basically, your entire system benefits when your gut is doing well. And seed can help with just two capsules a day. I started noticing changes within a couple of weeks. Less bloating, feeling lighter, and way more regular. And the best part is that it's.

[Les]

So easy to take.

[Unknown Host]

I usually just have two capsules with with water first thing in the morning. And that's it. It's a part of my day. No overthinking required. If better gut health is on your radar, now is the time to start. Go to seed.com balanced less and use the code balanced less for 25% off your first month. That's seed.com balanced less code balanced less for 25% off.

[Les]

Ultimately, the core pillars of what we need to be, well, are what they've always been. It's been moving our bodies in some form. It's been nourishing our bodies to the best of our ability. It has been finding ways to express ourselves emotionally and be in touch with our feelings. And it is finding ways to be in meaningful community. Like those four things are the core pillars of wellness. And it is so much simpler than we make it. And so I just have had no desire to comment on every, you know, trend that pops up in wellness because I personally don't want to participate in that anymore. And I'm just interested in so many other things. But then I'm like, well, what does that mean if I'm not a wellness girly? Because that's why everybody followed me and that's what this initially was. And I don't know how to describe where things are going. And so if you are somebody who is emerging into a new version of yourself, or who is also having an identity crisis. I'm so sorry that I don't have any tips or tricks or advice for you. Just know that you're not alone, because I feel very similarly. But I share that because you're probably going to start seeing some things change around here. I do think that some of the content that I've been sharing on social media has changed a bit to be a little more lifestyle as well as to talk about other things that are interesting to me, like business and entrepreneurship and really getting into the minds and habits of successful women and figuring out how they tick and how they do things. I also feel like that has been the direction that the podcast has been moving in for a while. And so later this spring we are going to be going under a bit of a rebrand to better kind of to have the branding of the show better match what it is we talk about now. Because I realized that balance and talking about balance and having my platform named after balance just doesn't fit anymore for a couple of reasons. One, I am not balanced, and I think I am finally ready to admit that I am simply not. All we hear all day, every day are conversations about people talking about how balance doesn't exist. And I think I'm just tired of fighting it. But I'm also realizing that Even though I'm 35 years old, I tend to have a bit of an unconventional life compared to a lot of my peers. And that has been intentional. I have designed my life to be what it is now on purpose, where I am working as a freelancer, where I am single on purpose, largely where I'm child free on purpose, because I really wanted to have as much flexibility as possible to try and bring these dreams of mine to fruition. But I recognize that for a lot of other women who are my age or even younger or older, they're balancing a lot of different things. And it doesn't really make sense for me to talk about balance to a community that is balancing entirely different things than I am. And I don't feel like I'm also the best person to necessarily facilitate those conversations. Though yes, I can bring guests in to talk about those perspectives and I will continue to do so. Ultimately, a lot of you all are balancing things that I'm not. And I do feel a bit of. I don't know if imposter syndrome is the right word because I personally just no longer subscribe to imposter syndrome, but I just feel like I'm not the best messenger for that type of balance or for that type of message where a lot of your balance, balancing things like partners, you're balancing kids, you're balancing different types of jobs. And I'm not really balancing those things, nor do I feel like I can be an authority for how to do that. And so I have been feeling this ping in my gut to kind of move away from this idea of balance and having a platform all about having a balanced life for a long time, because I'm realizing that my definition of balance is so wildly out there and probably not relatable for a lot of people that I feel like there are other things that we can talk about and dive into that could be a lot more compelling and interesting. So you're gonna start seeing some changes on this platform where we won't be using the name Balanced Black Girl anymore. Spoiler alert. Later this year. I haven't decided if I'm going to change my social media handles, if it won't be Balanced less anymore, if it'll maybe just be my name or be something else. I'm not fully sure what that is going to look like, but I do know that this platform will be kind of evolving to better match the types of conversations that we have been having for about the past year, year and a half, which has been more so getting into the minds of women who are charting their own path and who are designing their own lives and sharing those tidbits and nuggets for how you can design your best life, too. But I don't know if balanced is the right word to describe that. And so I had been feeling this ping for a long time to make some adjustments and giving the broader context of what is happening at large. I also felt like the platform being named what it is, kind of puts me at risk as like a solopreneur who doesn't have a lot of resources, who doesn't have a lot of backing or a particularly strong support system from just like a monetary standpoint, from a infrastructure standpoint, I felt like it kind of put my platform in my business at risk to be a target for either censorship or suppression. And it's really important to me that I continue to pour into this community and that my message and the messages that we share here continue to be heard. And so all of those things culminating between, like, my own, just wanting to explore topics outside of wellness from Balance, not really resonating with me anymore, and just from wanting to protect my business and wanting to protect this platform so that I can continue bringing messaging to you, all of those things together Kind of culminated into the upcoming rebrand that will be launching about a month after this episode airs. So you can look out for that in late March. And I'm also sharing a lot more of the behind the scenes on social media. So head to the show notes, make sure you're following me on TikTok on Instagram so that you can get all of the behind the scenes tea, you can get the sneak peeks as to what's coming. And make sure that you're also subscribed to the podcast so that when it is rebranded, it will still show up in your feed. Because if you every week are just searching, you know, Balance Black Girl every week, wherever you get your podcasts and then you're not subscribed to the new show, it's going to be really confusing when the new version or kind of the next evolution and iteration comes along. And so with this change, I am scared, but I'm also really excited. I first started this when I was. How old was I? 28, 28 or 29? And I have changed so much. This platform has changed so much. And I am really excited to be able to evolve and to give myself the freedom and the permission to explore new formats and conversations and ideas. And I'm really excited to bring each and every one of you along. So this is really an evolution that I want everyone to be a part of. That's why I've been sharing so much of the behind the scenes on social. That's why I've been talking, talking so openly about it, because it's something that I want you to be a part of and I am excited for us all to evolve together. So this is not me, you know, leaving a message or abandoning anything. It's more so just refreshing a little bit so that the branding better matches the types of conversations that we've been having on the podcast for a while. And it's just showing in real time kind of how we're all evolving and, and growing up together. So that's what we have to look forward to. That's what I've been spending a lot of my time working on behind the scenes. And I just have an amazing team of people who have been helping me navigate that. And I'm excited to show y'all what we've been working on because I think that it is going to be really refreshing. And my goal is to really make the brand be more positive and happy. And I do think sometimes when it comes to wellness specific messaging, particularly wellness for us, people want to focus so much on the hard parts. I cannot tell y'all how many pitches I get every single week where all they want to talk about is trauma and, like, traumatic things happening to black women. And I'm actually a lot more interested in telling stories about us that are really positive and really uplifting and just how multifaceted, lucky, blessed, incredible humans that we can all be. And so it's going to be a lot of similar types of conversations, but approached in a new way that really highlights more of the goodness of our lives, as opposed to all of the barriers that we need to overcome. Because ultimately, like, we are aware. We are aware of the disparities and a lot of the hard parts, but I also want to talk more about the good parts. And so as I dive into this rebrand, that is really going to be the focus. And so I just wanted to be really transparent about where my head is at with all of that. It is something that I am ultimately really excited about. And it took a lot of time and thought and meditation and prayer to decide, okay, is this the right direction that we want to move in? And I'm ready to leap into it and to embrace the show's evolution, to embrace my own evolution. Even though no longer identifying as a wellness girly is a little scary, I do think ultimately, I'm excited for what this next chapter holds. So that's just a little bit more about my personal identity crisis and where I'm at right now in terms of work and podcast and things. But I will also say I have so many fun ideas and things in the works, and I haven't been this creatively inspired in a while. And so I think breathing kind of some fresh air into the the rebrand is really exciting for me. And I also want to share more of that process, not only to be transparent so that you all, as this community, know what's happening, but I also want to inspire you. If you have been feeling a call to move a little bit differently or to do something that is a little bit different or to jump on a new idea, sometimes it can be really scary to do that and to make those changes and to embrace those pivots. I think especially in the content space, we feel like if we start with a certain niche or even if we find some success in that niche, that we have to stick with it and do that same thing forever. And I think as multifaceted human beings and people who often have multifaceted brands, particularly if you're in the content space or if you're an entrepreneur, even if you're thinking about your own personal brand. We get to be whatever we want to be. And just because we had a great idea at one point doesn't mean that that is the only good idea that will come through. And I know that I am somebody who often gets put in a position to be a leader, who gets put in a position to kind of take a first step to do things maybe before a lot of other people do it. And with that, it can be scary because that means not everybody's going to get it right away. But I also hope that me being able to take creative risks inspires you to take creative risks, because I know for people who I greatly admire, when I see them take creative risks, that's what gives me the bravery to do things like this. So that's what's happening with my identity crisis, that's what's happening with work, and that's what's happening with podcast. More to come on that this spring, but I'm actually really, really excited for what we're cooking up and for the rebirth of this platform this spring. So I also posted on Instagram a little Q and A box, just asking for topic suggestions, not necessarily questions to answer, but I just wanted to hear what y'all were interested in hearing from me in terms of different topics and what you're nosy and curious about. So I'm gonna get into a few of those things because you all had some really good ideas. So I'm gonna take those. So one of the questions or one of the topics that people express a lot of interest in is, how is life in New York City? And do I miss la? So I have now been in New York for a little over a year, and this has been probably one of the most dynamic years of my life where I have felt like no two days have been the same. And that has been a really big contrast from what my life in LA was like, because I spent about four years in la and so much of my time there, the day is really blurred together because so many of the days were exactly the same. And I think a lot of that was really due to the pandemic, because I moved there at the end of 2019, and I never really got my bearings before the pandemic started. And, you know, I had to basically stay home for, like, two years. And then the last two years that I was there, it was like I was trying to cobble together pieces of a life, but it just never fully came together. So in terms of missing la, there are absolutely, absolutely things that I miss about that city. I think LA is such a beautiful, special place and it is a place that will forever hold a special piece in my heart because I think when I moved there I grew up and up leveled in so many ways. And I think that my season there was so pivotal to me becoming the version of myself that I am now. But I would not say that I necessarily miss my day to day life in la, because my average day when I lived there was incredibly isolating. It was definitely kind of a Groundhog's Day vibe where I woke up every day and did the same thing every day and spent an unhealthy amount of time alone during my four years there. And I do think that during a lot of that time I was pretty depressed and I just didn't really know it because I got used to it. And I was so used to feeling this like blah kind of meh feeling the whole time that I was there, that now that I'm on the other side of it and I feel more like myself again, I can recognize that. I think I was a more depressed, very isolated version of myself while I was there. So my life now looks drastically different. I probably have the amount of plans I have in a week here is the equivalent to about how many plans I would have in a year when I lived in la. And again, that's not necessarily a reflection of the city. I think that's just kind of how life and my life and my season of life there played out. And again, the pandemic played a really big part in that where I there felt really isolated and really lonely. And here it's almost been the opposite, where I've had to be a lot more intentional about finding those pockets of downtime and quiet time because it's very easy to be up to something all the time. It is very easy to be out and about and at an event every day and to be making plans with people every day. And I have kind of fallen into that trap at times. I think because I was so lonely and isolated when I lived in LA that I was so excited to have just the opportunities to be more social and to be around people and to feel more connected to community here, that I've reached points of burnout at some times because I just have had like no downtime. And so I've had to learn how to mitigate that a little bit better. And I'm still a work in progress there. But I think more than anything, rather than comparing the two cities, I think I like who I am here more than I liked who I was there. So I like the version of myself here that is scrappier, that is a little bit more creative, that has just a bit more going on and that feels like I have a stronger community versus the version of myself that I can become when I'm very isolated and a little too hyper fixated on routines. Because when I was in la, there were a lot of things about my life that were very dialed in. Like my wellness was on point in terms of like my eating, my meal prep, my daily journal, meditation. Things were very dialed in. My finances were very dialed in because I really used trying to hyper control my routines as a coping mechanism. And so here I definitely still do those things. I have not gone off the rails when again it comes to my habits and my routines and things. But I am a little bit more flexible because I allow more room for life, I allow more room for living. So if I stay out a little bit later because I have plans, I'm willing to wake up a little bit later and maybe take a later workout class or something to give myself a little bit more room to live versus before, particularly when I lived in la, even when I still lived in Seattle, I was very stringent about my routines. I think because I just felt pretty unhappy in my life overall that I would use relying on those things as a bit of a coping mechanism. So I would say, you know, life has not been easy necessarily here, but I do think that I've had so much more space and support to live a little bit more and to be more myself and to be more tapped into community. And overall that has been a really positive experience. So that is the official life update for how living in New York has been my first year. So I had a post that I shared on on Instagram and TikTok a few months ago that was part sarcasm, part serious, where I talked about spite being a big motivator for me, and it was heavily sarcastic. I would not necessarily consider myself a spiteful person per se, but I definitely feel a lot of motivation by people thinking, people thinking that they can get one over on me. So I did have someone say, can you talk a little bit more about how your pettiness has led to greatness? Which one? I think that's a really wonderful compliment. I do not feel like I am yet operating in greatness or that I have reached greatness yet. I think that I am doing the best I can to make strides towards it, but I would not say that I feel like I'm at a level of Greatness yet. But what I really meant by that, because I've definitely had many moments in my life, personally and professionally, when I felt like people underestimated me or I felt like people treated me poorly. And so when I say or when I joke about, you know, spite and pettiness being a motivator, it's not even necessarily that I want to prove those people wrong or that I feel like it's the people who have done those things to me that I need to, like, get my lick back on. For me, what I mean is, like, the version of me who those people got over on or who those people disrespected or who those people underestimated, I will never be that version of me again. Like, every time something like that happens, I'm like, okay, noted. Checkmate. That version of me who you got over on for that thing. Yeah, she's not. She's not here.

[Christina]

Christina. Christina's gone.

[Les]

Because I'm not that version anymore. So. And I make damn sure of it. So it's not necessarily that I feel like I need to be petty towards people or be spiteful, but it means, like, you caught me slipping, or if you caught me, you know, coming up short, you won't. You won't catch me like that again. You won't catch me like that twice. And being the version of myself or being a version of myself that will not be caught slipping in such ways again is something that is very motivating to me. So when it comes to not wanting to get up and not wanting to get my workout in or maybe some things with work where I can be a little bit lazy or not wanting to wake up on time, I will sometimes think in that moment, like, okay, but is the version of you who that that person got over on, she's gonna make excuses for this right now. But if you're not gonna be her anymore, then what is it that you're gonna do right now?

[Unknown Host]

Oh.

[Les]

Oh, you're gonna get up. Oh, that's right. Yes. Yes. You're gonna get up. You're gonna get up right now. You're gonna go to the gym right now. You're gonna do that thing right now. You're gonna send that email right now. So that's what I mean by pettiness has motivated me and my jokes about being motivated out of spite. So it's part sarcasm, part truth, more so about me than it is necessarily about other people and wanting to be a version of myself that those people can't. Can never try that again. You Know what I mean? Very Leo behavior.

[Unknown Host]

Finding the right underwear, especially for working.

[Les]

Out, used to be a struggle for me.

[Unknown Host]

I wanted coverage without bulk, comfort without slipping and something that wouldn't show through my leggings. I'm not a big fan of wearing thongs all the time, especially when I.

[Les]

Work out, so it was hard for.

[Unknown Host]

Me to find the perfect pair of underwear. But a few years ago I finally found what I was looking for from the Skims Fits Everybody collection and let's just say I haven't looked back. I started with the cheeky brief and at this point I've pretty much replaced all of my old underwear with it. The fabric is so soft, super stretchy and honestly feels like I'm wearing nothing at all. It moves with me whether I'm at the gym, lounging at home or out and about. And the best part is there are no harsh lines under leggings or dresses, just a smooth, barely there fit. But they're so comfortable. And it's not just the underwear. When I need support, the T shirt bra is my go to. It's what I wear most days if.

[Les]

I'm leaving the house.

[Unknown Host]

It fits so well and disappears under my clothes. I also really like the triangle bralette if I'm just lounging around the house, but I want to have a little something on because it's the closest thing to going braless while still feeling put together. The Fits Everybody collection comes in sizes double extra small to 4x and you can shop now online at Skim or at the New York flagship store on 5th Ave. After you place your order.

[Les]

Let them know I sent you select.

[Unknown Host]

Podcast in the survey and choose my show in the drop down menu.

[Les]

Okay, I got a lot of questions about what I'm doing for fun and fun things that I'm looking forward to or what are ways you're allowing yourself to play and have fun. So far this year I wouldn't say that I've been the best about that. I will be honest you guys. I think with the rebrand it has just required me to work a bit more and just with some other kind of business, professional and financial goals that I have for this year that are really lofty. I have found myself working more and focusing on work more and I haven't necessarily had as much space for just play and hobbies as I potentially would have liked or that I have maybe preached about in the past.

[Unknown Host]

But here's why I don't feel bad.

[Les]

About that because it's temporary. It is truly the season that I'M in, for example, with this rebrand that's happening with the podcast, that is something that is finite. So that rebrand is going to be launching, if all systems are go, at the end of March 2025. And so, yeah, these next few weeks until that happens, it is going to require more focus. It's going to require more work on the back end from me where maybe I have a little bit less time to do some of the playful things that I used to do. But it has a very finite end date that once that is done, it is very clear when that is, and then I will have a little bit more time for play. So right now I would say I am focusing a little bit more on some of the goals that I have for the immediate future that have a definite end point and that has a lot more of my attention. And I wouldn't necessarily say that I've had super specific hobbies or play outside of my usual just continuing to tear up these fiction books and also just being really intentional about time with my friends and hanging out with my friends. So, you know, at the time that we're releasing this episode, it's the end of February 2025, and I have had more Galentine's celebrations this month than I can count. I have a little bit of travel coming up, some for work, some for play. And so I think for me, outside of work, play has looked more like just spending time with my people. But I wouldn't say that I necessarily have a lot of super structured hobbies right now where I'm not necessarily doing a lot of creative pursuits in Q1 of this year. But I do hopefully have plans to do more of those things later in the year when I have a little bit more spaciousness. And after these first few goals that are requiring more of my undivided attention are complete. And so later in the year, some of the things that I would really like to do, getting into fiction writing fiction is something that I would love to get into, creating more kind of in the next next act of my career and of my life, particularly in my 40s. I'm kind of treating each decade as its own mini lifetime. And I want my 40s to really be all about just uninhibited creative expression and getting more into like self publishing fiction work. But for now I really want to just tell stories in a new way and start writing fiction purely for fun, for no one's eyes to read anytime soon. And so later this year I do plan on taking some fiction writing classes, hopefully going on some writers retreats just to get into a bit of play when it comes to storytelling. So that is what my plan is for play later this year. But gotta be honest, y'all. Q1, I got a lot on my plate, and we're. We're really locked in. So I have not had a ton of room for play. And I'm okay with that because it's. It's temporary. So don't call Paw Patrol. Don't. Don't come at me, because I don't. You know, like I said, this is why I'm. I'm getting away from this. This balanced thing, because I'm just realizing that it's not really a thing for me right now. So Kindle and spending time with my friends is. Is what I'm doing. I did get a few questions about workouts and things, and it's funny, I'm about to. I spent all that time at the top of this episode being like, I don't want to talk about wellness anymore. But I actually do really want to talk about this because I do think my approach to fitness and workouts has changed a little bit over the past few months. And with that, I'm actually physically feeling better and more comfortable and confident in my body than I have felt in a really long time, which is also really fun to be able to say being in my mid-30s. Like, I right now, at 35, feel so much just stronger, fitter, and kind of more confident in my body than I felt at 25. And I also spend so much less time worrying about it and thinking about it, and it has been so freeing. So these days, when it comes to workouts, literally all of my workouts are classes. I do all classes for all of my workouts. Most weeks, I'm working out about five days a week, maybe six if I'm really feeling froggy that week. But it's winter right now. This winter is never ending. So the past month or so, I've really been keeping it at 5 and keeping it real cute. So everything that I've been doing is class based because for a long time I would work out solo. I would train myself because I have been a certified personal trainer since 2013, so I am knowledgeable about fitness. I know how to work out, I know how to create a program. But I was just tired of doing it. I was tired of doing it for myself. I wasn't really pushing myself. And so I was feeling some physical plateaus. And so I started taking classes last fall for everything just so that I can be around community a little bit more. It's been fun to work out with other people, but it's also been fun to not have to think about my workouts, to just sign up for a class and to just show up and be told what to do. And I do find that with being told what to do and being pushed, I challenge myself more. And I have actually gotten stronger and gotten in better shape. So right now, my current workout split looks like two strength and conditioning classes that I take each week. And with those classes, they're about an hour long. We often do things like barbell work, dumbbells, kettlebells, some Olympic lifting, as well as some metabolic conditioning, which is basically like hit at the end of each class. So right now I'm doing that two days a week. Most weeks I'm doing some form of Pilates two days a week. So that could be two mat classes or maybe one reformer class and one mat class. Just kind of depending on how I'm feeling and what my schedule is looking like that week. And then a recent change that I've made over the past maybe month and a half is I started adding bar into my routine. So I will take one bar class. Previously, I was doing three kind of strength and conditioning classes and two Pilates classes. But I've actually found adding bar in swapping out that third strength training class for bar has been really, really helpful. Bar still is a form of strength training, but it's not necessarily the super heavy kind of progressive overload training that I'm getting from my two strength workouts each week. Bar has actually been a lot more helpful for muscular endurance because in a traditional bar class, you're often lifting lighter weights, but you're doing a lot of reps, you're doing a lot of pulses. You're really working that muscle to fatigue from time under tension as opposed to just load when you're lifting heavy. And I find that it's actually really helped my other workouts be a lot more effective because I'm building more muscular endurance and I, with bar, have more endurance for when I do my heavy strength workouts. I find that it's really helping me target my core a lot better, is helping with overall alignment. And I will say I'm feeling these days a little. A little tighter, a little more. I don't want to use the word toned because we don't love that, but I'm feel. I'm feeling a little. I'm feeling a little more, dare I say snatched than I previously was. And I think the only Real difference I've made is adding in or swapping out one of my heavy strength workouts for a bar class. And I think that that balance of like two heavy strength classes, one bar class for muscular endurance and then two Pilates classes for more of that core strength and mobility, has been really good for my body. And then if during the week I'm feeling like really energized, then I might add a yoga sculpt class on top of or if I really feel like I need some stretching. So that is what my workouts have looked like these days. For all of those things, I do classes where I just show up and I am told what to do and I will do a combination of either classes at the gym or booking classes on class pass for all of those things. And I've really liked it. I've really liked being able to turn my brain off and not stress about what workouts I'm going to do. So if you are feeling overwhelmed about deciding what workouts to do, I highly recommend maybe just relying a bit more on classes. Working with a trainer, finding a YouTube channel that you like, and just going through video by video or thing by thing just to get some movement in, but taking the decision fatigue out of it. Okay. Another thing that someone asked about that I thought was particularly funny was about nails. What did, what did she say? She said regular nails or gel polish? What are we doing these days? We're fighting for our lives. That's what we're doing. My nails have been a mess lately. So in 2024, I was really in my getting my nails done era. I kept a Russian manicure on me in all 2024 and I really enjoyed it. They lasted, they looked good, they were great, but they were really expensive. And one of my big goals this year is I really want a new apartment. This is. I'm manifesting it. I'm putting it out there in the universe. Me and my studio apartment. We will be parting ways later this year and I'm calling in the dream, the apartment of my dreams in a dream neighborhood that ideally has two bedrooms so that I can have office slash podcast recording space and so that I can actually have a bedroom because I missed having a bedroom. So I'm putting it out there. That is what I'm calling in this year. That is my biggest manifestation. However, with that manifestation, you need some money and moving is expensive. So I'm already thinking, even though this move likely won't happen until the fall, I'm thinking about deposits, I'm thinking about movers I'm thinking about furniture. And so I have been back on my being mindful of my budget game this year. So I've been eating out less, I've been not getting my nails done, I've been putting money away into a moving sinking fund so that by the time fall hits, I have the money that I need to get. So all that to say I'm not doing anything with my nails these days. I want to be a press on princess so badly. I want to make press ons work. And here's the thing, press ons do work when they're on. However, when it is time for me to get them off, I run into a lot of issues. I will have some that pop off, some that won't come off, some it's just a lot. And I ran into a little situation back at the end of January where I had press ons that were cute, but a few on my left hand had popped off and I was like, okay, I've had these press ons on for maybe about three weeks at that point. And I was like, it's, it's time. I had about an hour to remove these press ons because I was going on a date later that evening and I had an hour to soak off these press ons and I thought, okay, an hour should be plenty of time to remove these three week old press ons. And so I followed the instructions of the things you're supposed to do. I soaked them in, you know, the soapy water, I did the oil, I did the acetone until my hands were so pruny and I was able to get all of the press ons off of my left hand and I was like, cool, cool, cool. One hand, great. I was able to get none of the press ons off of my right hand. They were cemented on and the clock was running out. It got to the point where the Uber for my date was literally downstairs and I'm still trying to get these press ons off. And so I sure did did have one hand with five press ons and one hand with no press ons. And I sure did go on that date and I sure did walk around for about another five days after that, just like that, because I could not get the press ons off. Finally, finally, almost a week later, I was able to get the press ons off of my other hand. But I have not done press ons since because I just feel like they betray me. They betray me at some point when I really need to look put together and I need to look like a baddie. I will have some that are popping off, some that are stuck. I just, it's too unpredictable. So I say all that to say I personally am doing nothing with my nails these days. And as much as I love a nail and I feel incomplete without a good nail, I'm just thinking about the payoff of my bigger apartment when I.

[Unknown Host]

Manifest it in the fall.

[Les]

And I'm thinking about how good it will feel to pay that deposit when I have the money saved from not getting my nails done and not doing all of these extra things. However, if you are looking to do something with your nails, I loved a good Russian manicure. And when I get my money back up and you know, in a place of greater abundance, I look forward to one day going back to it. But that is where I'm at with my nails at this point. So the last topic idea that I'm going to cover in this solo episode, this was a deep one. This was like a deep, deep question. And in the future I would love.

[Unknown Host]

Less deep questions because I think I'm.

[Les]

Just tired of being deep all the time. I really actually do want to be more of myself and I've realized I tend to have the hardest time when I feel this pressure to be this all knowing Oz big sis less. And I do think that that is a version of me that a lot of people have come to know and have come to like. And I take credit, you know, accountability for that because I do think that that is an image of myself that I have put out there. But I. I want to put an image of myself out there that is closer to who I am normally. And if you watch my TikTok lives, then you've probably seen the most authentic version of my personality because that is where I often feel the safest to be myself because that goes away. But I do think I want to work on being more myself in these longer form forms of media that don't go away. And who I am is not the big sis all knowing Oz less who has all the answers. I actually usually don't have the answer to anything. I just be doing stuff and I just be talking that is more authentic to who I am as a person. And so I do think in the.

[Christina]

Future I'm probably going to be less.

[Les]

Deep and answer less deep questions because I just kind of want to have more fun and I want to have.

[Unknown Host]

More fun on the Internet.

[Les]

But I'll answer one more deep question for the road because this one I thought was interesting. Someone said, what's missing in life. And what would make it more fulfilling? Very deep question. This is the last time I'm gonna talk about anything deep. That's not true. That's. That's not true at all. But I do look forward to being more fun and goofy and silly in future iterations of the podcast and bringing future types of episodes where there's a little bit more room for playfulness and fun. But I actually don't feel like there's anything missing from my life right now. And I overall feel quite fulfilled. That does not mean that the version of life that I'm living right now is, like, perfect by any means, or that there are not other things that I want or am calling in. I just did a whole spiel for a question about nails and use that to talk about how much I want a new apartment. Right? There are things that I want to call in. There are things, upgrades, improvements that I want to make to my life merely because I just want to practice abundance and calling in new things. But I actually don't feel like there's anything missing from my life right now. I consider myself such a lucky, blessed person that I get to do the type of work that I get to do, that I have a really loving, supportive family that I have really wonderful friends, some who I've been friends with for many years. Some are newer friendships that I've established since moving to New York. And I'm excited to foster. And I. I get to do cool, fun things, and I get to just kind of vibe out. And with that, I don't think that there's anything missing from my life right now. And I do think that in the future I will probably have a version of life that looks different one day. You know, like, one day I'm sure I will have a partner and maybe more of a traditional kind of family structure of my own, whatever that looks like. And I welcome those things when they come, but I don't feel like the absence of them now mean that anything is missing. I think that that's a different version of life that I will live when I get there. But I actually feel very content with the version of life that I'm living right now. And I'm allowing space for both, you know, both. And really appreciative of what I have now, and also, like, mind, arms, and heart wide open for whatever version of life comes in the future. But I don't feel unfulfilled, and I actually don't feel like life is missing anything right now. I feel like I'm trying to be as present as possible in this version of life that I have right now. Because in the future, you know, when I have more of the things that I hope to have one day, I'm sure that I'm probably really going to miss this season that I have right now. So I'm trying to appreciate it as much as possible. So that's the end of me getting deep for the time being. This episode was sufficiently all over the.

[Unknown Host]

Place and I'm letting myself be a little less structured, a little more myself, a little more fun, having a little.

[Les]

Bit more jokes, and I'm looking forward to that in the future with solo episodes as well as with guest episodes. So I hope you enjoyed this solo Dolo Life update. That's what's going on with me. That's how 2025 has started off. That's what I'm looking forward to this year, and I look forward to continuing to update y'all both on the socials as things happen day to day, week to week, and then here on the podcast every few months or so as I've lived enough life to have an update. If you enjoyed this episode, please make sure that you're subscribed to the show.

[Unknown Host]

So that when Fun rebrand things happen.

[Les]

You will still get the show and everything will carry over.

[Unknown Host]

If we're not yet connected on social.

[Les]

Media, please make sure that you connect with me there. Head to the show notes. You can then find the links to all of my socials. You can follow me, you can stay up to date with what we've got going on and you won't miss a.

[Unknown Host]

Future episode or future announcement or a future update. Thank you so much for tuning in and I'm will see you next week.

[Les]

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.