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The following podcast is a Dear Media Production.
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Welcome to the first episode of she's so Lucky of 2026. Now, 2025 was a lot, and it asked a lot of us. Many of us are ready for a new year and fresh energy, but I don't want to repeat the same new year, new you things that we've heard a million times that we're all sick of. Like no shade to the woman on the stair stepping into the new Year of abundance. But we have seen her for the past decade and we're ready for real strategies to help us actually have a fantastic year. But before we get into it, I need you to text this episode to a friend so that we can all have a lucky 2026. As I've been thinking about how I want to approach this new year, I realized that for a long time I had been adhering to old rules and beliefs that were keeping me really boxed in. And for a lot of 2025, I had to confront these rules and beliefs and unpack them and understand where they were coming from and to let myself break and rewrite these rules. So I want to share a little bit about what that's looked like for me, and I want to help you do the same. So one of the biggest rules that I realized I was adhering to in 2025 was this idea of moving in silence to a fault. Now, I am a person who does value a level of privacy. I don't necessarily think that everything that we do or think or say or aspire to have needs to be broadcast on Front street by any means. But I do think that when we are so secretive about what we aspire to do or what we aspire to have, it can actually block us from getting it. Because what that often does is it keeps us really small. It keeps us in this space of feeling like we need to be overly realistic. Which if you've listened to the show over the past few months, you already know how we feel about being realistic. Over here. We're not doing that. And it almost has this bit of shame around wanting more and around wanting to expand that. I really think we need to break through if we want to step into our fully embodied, luckiest selves. And when I reflect on any season where I have had a major breakthrough, that breakthrough often came from busting through some sort of box that I was stuck in, some rule that I didn't know was holding me back, or some belief that was no longer serving me. And so I really think that a theme for this year that I want us all to embody, to embrace that luck is. Is to really bust through that, to let ourselves exist outside of that box and to let ourselves exist outside of rules that were not designed to serve us and to serve our growth. Now, when I say breaking the rules, I'm not telling you to go do anything crazy. I'm not telling you to break the law. I'm not telling you to do anything that is going to get you in jail, because don't. Don't go to jail and call less because less can't bail you out. I'm not telling you to slash that man's tires. I'm not telling you to egg anybody's house. Eggs are too expensive. But I am telling you that there are so many silent contracts that we have, especially societally, that we adhere to, that we simply don't have to. Whether that is through social conditioning around the timelines that we should be on, or what we should and shouldn't have, or what is or isn't possible for us, whether that is around generational messaging of what is available to us if we are a certain age, Whether that is cultural expectations that don't fit the lives that we have in this present moment. Whether that's fear of judgment, of being or wanting too much. Something that I struggle with, which is the fear of failing publicly and the shame and humiliation that can come from that. And that pressure to stick to these internalized timelines that may not necessarily be what other people are putting on us, but that pressure that we put onto ourselves when we get to the root of a lot of these rules. These were things that were created to make us question ourselves, to keep us small, to keep us from aspiring to be our fullest selves. If you take a look around, especially for women, there is a vested interest that society has in keeping us small, in keeping us exhausted, in keeping us from showing up and dreaming and being vibrant and being our fullest, most expressed selves. Because when we show up that way, we're harder to manipulate, we are harder to control. So a lot of these rules that we're adhering to are actually not in our best interest. They're actually actively harming us, and it's really time that we rewrite them. But the good news is, if the rules that you have been adhering to are no longer serving you, you absolutely can question, rewrite, and break them. And we're going to get into how to do that. And I'm not telling you to step away from what is working for you, to step away from something that is anchoring you or something that is centering you. Especially if it's a habit, if it's a belief, if it's a value. What I am saying is if something is clearly not working for you, if something is not working in your best interest, or if something is deviating or creating a separation between you and the life you say you want, then it's time to unpack and rewrite that. And that is what we're going to do today. We're going to pause here for a quick word from our sponsors, but don't go anywhere because when we come back, I'm going to tell you the three biggest rules that are holding you back and what you need to do to break them.
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If you've been listening to this show for a while, you know that I'm in a season of building ideas, projects, systems. And one thing that always comes up when you're building something new is needing a web website that actually looks professional without turning into a whole project. And that's where Durable comes in. Build your business with Durable. It's your AI partner that creates your website, writes your content and helps you grow online. Everything you need to launch and look professional all in one place. So here's what I love about it. You don't need to know how to code, you don't need design skills and you don't need to spend hours or weeks figuring things out. You literally tell Durable what you do and it builds your website and brand instantly. Copy, layout, design, all of it. And if you want to tweak things, editing is super intuitive. Durable also gives you everything you need to actually grow built in. SEO, analytics, even a blog so you can get found and stay consistent online without juggling a million tools. And it helps you look legit fast. You get a free custom domain, a mobile ready design and an AI design generator for things like logos, social posts and marketing materials. Plus your business does live in one place. You can manage invoices, contacts and updates without switching platforms. Durable makes it simple. Focus on what you do best and AI handles the rest. So if you're ready to launch in minutes, not months, here's your next step. Visit durable.com balanced and get started with Durable for free today. When you're ready to publish your website, use the code balancedless for 30% off allplans that's d u r a b l e dot com balanced. Try for free then use the code balanced less for 30% off your plan. Sometimes I just don't have the time or honestly the brain space for proper meal planning. I want to eat healthy. I have goals I care about. But figuring out what to cook and what to buy can feel so overwhelming. And that's exactly why Hungryroot has been such a game changer for me. It's truly the easiest way to eat healthy. Hungryroot works like a personal nutrition coach and shopper all in one. They plan everything for you, recommend recipes based on what you actually like, and take care of the grocery shopping too. You tell them your preferences and goals, whether that's eating cleaner, focusing on protein, or just meals that feel good in your body, and they handle the rest. What I love is how simple it makes everything. Shopping, planning and cooking feel way less stressful because Hungryroot fills your cart with personalized recommendations and it gets smarter with every order. There's also so much variety, over 50,000 recipes each week and no junk ingredients. They only use high quality meat and seafood with no hormones or antibiotics. If your goal this year is to eat better and actually stick with it, Hungryroot makes that possible. Take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time get 40% off your first box plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to hungryroot.com Lucky and use the code Lucky. That's hungryroot.com Lucky code Lucky to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. It's always when you stop doing something that you realize how much it mattered. I'd been taking IMA consistently feeling really good and then life got busy and I skipped a few days which was a big mistake. My energy dipped, my focus wasn't the same and it reminded me how much it had actually been supporting my day to day. And honestly, it makes sense when you look at what's in it. IMH's daily Ultimate Essentials drink brings together 92 high quality ingredients, vitamins, minerals, adaptogens, gut supporting pre, pro and postbiotics plus clinical doses of CoQ10 and MSM. It's been doing a lot of heavy lifting behind the scenes.
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What I really appreciate is that it.
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Replaces 16 different supplements instead of juggling pills and powders. It's one simple drink that covers full body health. It's also not just hype. Im8 was co founded by David Beckham and developed with experts from Mayo Clinic, Cedar Sinai and even a former NASA chief scientist. Clinical trials showed 95% of people felt more energetic and 85% experienced better digestion when drinking it. It's NSF certified vegan gluten free and non GMO and it only cost $2.96 a day. If you've been looking for something easy to stick with that actually makes you feel better, this might be it. And I genuinely notice when I miss a day. Give your body what it deserves with im8 go to im8health.com Lucky and use the Code Lucky for a free welcome kit. Five free travel packs plus 10% off your order. Seriously, this is one of those offers you'll wish you jumped on sooner. That's imatehealth.com Lucky and use code Lucky for a free welcome kit five free travel packs plus 10% off your order. Im8health.com Lucky code Lucky these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
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So when it comes to the rules that are holding us back, this can be highly individual based on the space that you're occupying, based on how you were raised, based on the messaging that you received, based off of your cultural or maybe even religious expectations. But as I was going through and thinking about some of the rules that have held me back, I realized that there were three core rules that I think apply to a lot of us that we can all benefit from breaking to be our luckiest selves. So rule number one that we need to break to unlock our luck this year would be the good girl rule. For so many of us, we grew up wanting approval. Being told that you were a good girl or being perceived as good when you're a small child is the utmost. And being the opposite of good, whatever that may mean, was something that we fear being called or being perceived as. But the issue is what is good for a child is often something that's going to keep us very small and block us from our luck as grown women. And we have a lot of unlearning to break that pattern. So people who are obsessed with being a good girl when they're younger, as we get into adulthood, we often tend to obsessed with things like people pleasing and mistaking that for agreeableness, putting other people's needs before our own, being treated as if we are like an infinite resource who is always of service to other people without having our own needs met, constantly shrinking to stay palatable because God forbid you stand out, God forbid you be great out loud, then that would be incredibly threatening to other people. And good girls aren't threatening to other people. There are the fears of being unlikable, which, my goodness, biggest insult you could have as a woman is being perceived as unlikable or being too ambitious. Because for whatever reason, ambition has been seen as a dirty word. And also, the Internet has grabbed onto this really skewed idea of what's masculine and what's feminine. And for whatever reason, ambition now can't be feminine. Like, if you have any sort of ambition, then that's overly masculine. And which I actually don't think that ambition is a gendered thing at all. It actually has nothing to do with masculine or feminine energy. I think ambition actually has more to do with the vision that you see for yourself and your willingness to carry out that vision, even if it's bigger than what is immediately available to you. And then there's also that fear of being too confident, too boisterous, taking up too much space. These are all things that can be incredibly challenging for people who grew up obsessed with being perceived as a good girl. Oftentimes, being a good girl is described as being polite and obedient and agreeable. But the thing is, if you want to create your own luck, it often takes a lot of bold action. It often takes being willing to be seen, being willing to push boundaries, being willing to stretch beyond what's comfortable for you. And that doesn't necessarily align with being polite, obedient, and agreeable. As somebody who formerly was obsessed with being a good girl, this is something that I've been unpacking for the past couple of years. I had my first viral TikTok video in 2021. I'm always going viral on TikTok for the wrong things, by the way. Okay. Do you know how many times this podcast has gone viral on TikTok? Not many. Do you know how many times me being ridiculous on TikTok has gone viral? Many times. Many times. Okay, but the first time it Happened was in 2021. This was peak pandemic TikTok. And there was an audio clip of this woman talking about how she suffered for 19 years and she wants to shake her ass in Dubai on a yacht in a thong. If you're watching on YouTube, we'll insert the clip. And I posted a video on TikTok of me, you know, mouthing to that audio and the caption to that or the text that was on the screen was, when you spent your whole life being a good girl and you realize it's pointless. And when I tell you this video was now five years old, I get notifications of people commenting and liking and sharing that video to this day because it struck such a chord with people. And a lot of People in the comments definitely missed the message because they were saying, no, being a good girl is good. Don't sleep around. Don't do this, don't do that. And I think it's really interesting that when I say don't be a good girl or push back on this idea of being a good girl, people's first reaction is to question a woman's sexuality or to assume that by saying, don't be a good girl, I'm promoting promiscuity or risky behavior. And that's actually not what that means at all. First of all, I'm not shaming anybody for what they want to do. As long as it's consensual and safe, okay, not my business. But second of all, when I say don't be a good girl, I mean, stop bending over backwards, putting everyone's needs before your own. Stop shrinking to be agreeable when you know you have a different opinion or when you know know you have something else to offer. Stop limiting what you think is possible for you. Because good girls only fit in this small box. And that box is meant to keep you exhausted and worn down and small and meek. When I say don't be a good girl, I mean show up as who you are, unapologetically. And so when I posted that video and I saw the response to it, and I was kind of going through my own unpacking in real time, and I saw how much it resonated with people, it really sent me down this whole rabbit hole of unpacking and dissecting what we think of as good. And there are so many different examples where good is actually not that good. It's the same way that the word nice, you know, is not all that it's cracked up to be, that I. I actually don't care to be around nice people. I care to be around kind and respectful people, right? People who show up authentically, with respect, but not people who will necessarily, like, lie to your face to keep the peace. So as we start unpacking what it means to be good, you can see that, like, most people's definition of good isn't so good. A prime example of that would be Wicked, right? The second part of Wicked just came out. We've all been obsessed with Wicked for the past two years, with the past two parts of the movie. And a big theme in that movie was that Glinda the Good wasn't so damn good, right? Despite her obsession with this appearance of being good, her wanting to trademark the word good, her putting on this facade to be good. When it came time to actually do the action, that would have been for the better of not only the person she claimed was her friend Elphaba, but of the animals and of the people of Oz, she wasn't so good. She was actually incredibly complacent and was willing to sit back and let her friend be dragged through the mud for crimes that she didn't commit. She was willing to sit back and let this fascist government take over. But good is often complacency. Good is often not speaking up when it's important to do so, whether that's for yourself or for other people who are relying upon you to do so. So as we start unpacking what it means to be good, I think it's better to focus on what it means to be real and what is being called of you in this moment. And sometimes that doesn't fit into the box of what it means to be good. So as we begin to question the definition of what's good, should we be good? Should we stay in these molds? An example that I really think of, of breaking this mold and doing it really well would be none other than Bad Girl riri Rihanna right now. Millennials know we have seen Rihanna's whole trajectory throughout her whole career. Okay, the north remembers. We were there for the early aughts with her first couple of albums, her being marketed as this kind of like island pop star.
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And it was.
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It was cute, right? It was cute. We loved the Ponda replay. We loved the SOS we loved those things. But Rihanna's true breakout moment, that really planted the seed for her being like the iconic mogul billionaire that she was today was when she came out with Good Girl Gone Bad, which, no pun intended with the name, but it really drives home this point where she decided to kind of break out of that image. She got like the edgy haircut. She started experimenting more with fashion and just showing up as who authentically. She was not really caring about being perceived as a good girl, but wanted to make her art and live her life and express herself and express her style in different unique ways. That was when she became a superstar. There is a very big difference between Ponderplay Rihanna and Umbrella Rihanna. That was the tipping point for her becoming who she is. And I would argue that we would not have the Rihanna we have today, who has the businesses and the family and the iconic status if she would not have made that change from breaking out of that good girl mold, boldly claiming it, and kind of taking on that Persona of being whoever she was going to be in that era because she's also evolved and had a lot of different eras. That reclamation of who she was and allowing herself to evolve out loud and publicly is what has allowed her to be the icon that she is today. Now, a lot of us are not, you know, pop stars who are building billion dollar beauty empires, but that is just an example of how we get to decide who we are and how we want to show up in the world. And we don't necessarily have to continue fitting into these molds that were created for us. And in fact, if we're willing to push against them and to push the limits of that, there is so much more greatness that can be waiting for us on the other side. When I think about a more personal example of this, I think about my own career. I worked in corporate for about 13 years before leaving to do this podcast and content full time, and that definitely hasn't been without its challenges. Full time Entrepreneurship I reached a point in my corporate career where I realized that being the model employee actually got me nothing. Being the model employee got me more work and got me more responsibility. It didn't make me more money, it didn't get me promoted, it didn't get me more opportunities. It just got me more of the grunt work that other people didn't want to do. I actually had this experience at a job once where somehow the topic of salary came up with me and my co workers and they were all sharing their salaries and I realized that my salary was lower than both of them. Despite me being more senior, me having more responsibility and doing a lot more work on the day to day, that was an issue for me. I rose it up with leadership and it was not a pretty situation. But I realized in that moment, oh, me being the model employee here and picking up everybody else's slack has only gotten me everybody else's slack. It was the definition of how being the good girl in that instance can absolutely backfire and work against you and work against your greater good. So as you start thinking about how you want to take up space and be lucky and grow and expand, I challenge you to push up against your ideas of what you think being good is. If you are overly relying upon those things we talked about earlier. Being agreeable, being polite, being obedient, really take stock of where that is getting you. And my homework for you is to find one way to practice push up against that boundary a little bit. Can you have a moment where you're maybe not so obedient? Can you have a Moment where I'm not telling you to be rude, but if you're being a little bit of a pushover, right, if you're, if you're letting people try you a little too much for the sake of keeping the peace and you need to stand up for yourself a little bit, is there a boundary that you can push a little bit to break out of that mold? And what can that look like for you? And how does that feel for you? I think it's something that you'll definitely need to practice if you want to be more lucky this year. The second rule that I think we all need to break if we want to have our luckiest year ever is the play it safe rule. Now when I tell you this is a personal attack for me, okay? As a risk averse eldest daughter who does not like to fail and who is a Leo with a big ego and doesn't like to be humiliated, doesn't like to be bad at things, this is a really hard one because we like to play it safe, because it feels comfortable. We feel like we can succeed when we play it safe. When we know how something is going to turn out. When we know that if we reach for this really little goal and we know that we can hit it in our sleep, we feel accomplished, right? We set these little super realistic things, we feel like it's within our reach. When we let our fear of disappointment rule what we believe is possible for ourselves, we feel like we're being responsible. Maybe, maybe you are being responsible. But I'll also tell you what, you're not being lucky because that's keeping you stuck. It's keeping you in the same spot, it's keeping you small. When you so greatly fear disappointment that you don't try to stretch yourself at all out of fear of failing, out of fear of looking stupid, out of fear of not winning, you are actually guaranteeing that you lose. It would be like, I don't know. I remember in high school volleyball, my volleyball team actually wasn't that great. We, we lost a lot, but there was only like one other school in our district that was even worse than us. We did have a few matches over the years where we did win those matches and we actually beat teams that were better than us. And let me tell you, it is so much more exciting to beat a team that is better than you that you had to rise to the occas than it was to like beat the team that everybody beats. A win is a win, but that win that you had to stretch for feels so much More satisfying than the win that you knew you could get without even trying. And that's not to say that like everything has to be so hard, but it's saying that when you are playing it safe with what you're doing, you're never going to grow. There is no forward momentum, there is no progress from that. I also think about fitness. I relate everything back to fitness because it's who I am as a person, right? But when you're lifting the same weight over and over and you never challenge your muscles, you never get stronger. The only way to actually become stronger is to lift heavier, is to break down the muscle so that it grows back stronger. If you're doing something that is so easy, that is so light, that is so repetitive, going through the motions, that you never break down that muscle, it's never going to grow back stronger, and you are never going to get better. And the same thing goes for your goals and for how you approach what you believe is possible for you. And so we've had a few episodes over the past few months where we talked about this. We had the stop being realistic episode that I did back during the summer. We had our manifestation episode with Olivia Rose Thomas where we really talk about the power of dreaming big and not being afraid of disappointment. Because when we aim high, we land high. And that is so incredibly important if you want to get to places you have never been. Because if playing it safe worked for you, you probably wouldn't have even clicked on this episode. You wouldn't feel stuck, you wouldn't feel like you needed help having your best year ever, because you'd already be there if playing it safe worked for you. And also, I am talking to myself. This is a self drag as well. So I'm here with you, okay? I don't even need to hold your hand because I'm right there with you in a warm embrace. As I say this, if it worked, it would have already. And it's time to try something different. And it means that it's time to lay down the playing it safe and to step into that next level that we know we really want to reach for. Rule number three that I think we should all be breaking to have our luckiest year yet is the should rule. Years ago I had a job where one of my co workers was this amazing facilitator. She was actually responsible for facilitating events at this company. She was an incredible life coach. I have kept in touch with her since. And I remember we were in a meeting and she said, not to me, but to Somebody else. And I don't. I wish I remembered what this other person said, but it was around should. They were like, well, we should have this already or we should be doing that, because this was a very early stage startup and we were all very stressed about reaching our business goals. And she said we have to stop shoulding ourselves. And that has always stuck with me. Anytime I get in a season of beating myself up over what I should have or where I should be. Now, I will say I'm not perfect at this because I still should myself all the time. And if you maybe watch my Instagram stories or even some of my TikToks where I'm just ranting and hooting and hollering, you'll still hear me shooting myself there. So this isn't for me to sound hypocritical, it's just to give a reminder. None of us are perfect at this, myself included. But it's important to have these conversations to anchor us. But when we get so focused on the shoulds and when we shame ourselves for not reaching the shoulds, that is the biggest block for our luck. There is nothing more unlucky than shoulding all over ourselves about what we should have, where we should be, and what we should do and what should have happened by now. Should, should, should, should, should. We have to stop. We have to lay down the shoulds in 2026. I will say one of the things that has made me most frustrated over the past couple of years is the over reliance on Instagram therapy speak. And I will say I used to do this a lot. Even the old, if you go into the archives, the Balance Black Girl and a lot of the old content, a lot of things that I said were very the flowery. Your path is your path and everything is in alignment and you are not given more than you can handle. I acknowledge that there is so much truth to that. And I also acknowledge that when you're in a hard season of feeling stuck or feeling like life is passing you by, or feeling like man, 2025 was so unlucky and I'm having such a hard time and somebody is like, but you're on your path. And you're like, yeah, but my path is these bills that are due today. It's so frustrating. So what I'm about to say is not that I'm here to give you real talk and straight up strategies for how to navigate those situations. And this is not intended to invalidate what you're feeling because trust me, as somebody who lives on the Internet, I have people invalidating my feelings every day, and I'm not going to do that to you. Okay? The thing is about the shoulds and the timelines is that shoulds and timelines don't matter as much if you are somebody who has had to pivot. If you are somebody who has had to start over, if you are somebody who has had to build from the ground up and make something out of nothing, if you are somebody who has had to start a whole new life multiple times in a row, the shoulds simply don't apply. If you were somebody who has started over in your 30s, in your 40s, in your this, and you're that, in a new city, in a new country country, if you've walked away from a marriage, if you've whatever, your timeline is simply not going to look like the linear version of someone else's who has not had to start over in some way. And that is a reminder that I have had to give myself. I beat myself up constantly for being in my mid-30s and living in a studio apartment. I beat myself up constantly for being in my mid-30s and not having more assets and a bigger business and a partner and a this and a that. And I have to remind myself that I completely started my life over multiple times over the past couple of years. I literally left everything that I knew, packed up only the belongings that could fit in my car, and drove from Seattle to LA at 30 to start a whole new life. And then four years ago, packed up and did the exact same thing, completely starting from scratch again. So me doing that and being where I'm at in life is going to be entirely different than if I would have stayed at the same company that I worked at at 22, married a medium ugly man and bought a house at 28 and popped out a few kids. By now, sure, I would have hit more societal benchmarks and that would have been a more linear path, but I can't beat myself up for not having those things because I decided to start over. And every time you decide to start over, which is actually a beautiful thing and I think more of us should do, you are then put on an alternate timeline and you can't still hold on to the old one. The more you hold on to the old one, the more stuck and unlucky you are keeping yourself. And you have to acknowledge the new timeline that you're on. So that is what letting go of the shoulds looks like. It's acknowledging those things, maybe having grief over what you thought you would have or where you thought you would be by now. But also recognizing the opportunity in front of you and recognizing the reality of what it means to start over, to start from scratch, to build from nothing, and to move forward on a new path. Especially if you are somebody who is very ambitious and who has audacious goals and who envisions a big life. Which I know if you're listening to this podcast, you are, it is probably going to require some burning something that you knew to the ground and starting over. And when you do that, you are then redirected and time looks a little different and progress looks a little bit different. And the more you're able to honor that, the better of an experience that you have and the more luck you will attract. So the next time you feel tempted to overly should yourself, I want you to just like put both feet on the ground. I'm gonna do it too. Hands on your lap. Take a deep breath. Exhale. And recognize that the timeline that you're on is in alignment with where you are meant to be and that it is okay. But the more that you accept that, the luckier you allow yourself to get. We're gonna take a quick pause for a word from our sponsors. We love our sponsors. They help us stay lucky around here. But don't go anywhere because when you come back, I'm just going to bring a loving little reality check. We talked about the rules that we're breaking and I'm also going to get into the strategies we're going to implement so that we can move forward. So stick around.
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A new year always makes me reflect on how I want to feel. Not just physically, but mentally too. I think a lot of us promise ourselves we'll take better care of our mental health, especially after moments when we really could have used more support. Burnout, stress, anxiety. And then you try to find a therapist who actually takes your insurance and suddenly it all feels way harder than it should. Affordable in network Mental health care shouldn't be out of reach. You already use your insurance to take care of your body. Your mental health deserves the same support. That's exactly why RULA has been such a meaningful resource. RULA is a healthcare provider group that partners with more than 100 insurance plans, bringing the average cost down to around $15 per session. And depending on your benefits, it could even be zero. It makes therapy feel realistic and sustainable, not like a short term new year reset. What also really stands out is how intentional the matching process is. RULA takes your goals, preferences and background into account to curate a list of licensed therapists who are actually actually a fit for the work you want to do. There are no long wait lists and many people can find someone accepting new clients as soon as the next day. And Rula stays involved throughout your care so support doesn't stop after the first session. This year, make one change you can actually stick with visit rula.com lucky to get started that's R-U-L-.com lucky mental health care that's actually built to last. Again this year, make one change you can really stick with. Visit rula.com Lucky to get started R-U-L-A.com Lucky Mental Health Care that's actually built to last I am all about prioritizing the small choices that actually make a difference, the little rituals that help you feel better without going to extremes. And that's something R.W. knudsen really gets. R.W. knudsen crushes only the best ingredients, so you can crush everything you do. At R.W. knudsen, feeling good isn't about doing more, it's about reawakening the small moments that make everyday life feel better. Whether it's starting your morning with a little intention, taking a real break in the afternoon, or choosing something better during a cozy night. In those small Wins add up, R.W. knutson juices fit so naturally into real life, they're an easy upgrade to everyday routines. No pressure, no perfection, just simple, thoughtful choices. I love incorporating RW Knudsen Organic Just Cranberry Juice into my routine when I want something that feels caring and balanced. Cranberries are known for supporting urinary tract, heart and gut health, and it's an easy option for simple hydration rituals at home on movement days or mornings when I want to feel grounded, R.W. knudsen Organic Beet Juice is a great addition. Beets are often associated with circulation, heart, health and energy, and it feels like a a quiet reminder that showing up for yourself counts. And for afternoons or having friends over, R.W. knudsen Organic just Pineapple Juice brings a little joy and connection. I love adding it to different drinks and mocktails. Pineapples are known to support digestion and immunity, and the flavor alone makes an ordinary moment feel special. With R.W. knudsen crush 100% of your day, morning, afternoon, evening and all the moments in between with 100% juice and no added sugar. Pick up a bottle at your local grocery store today.
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Welcome back. So one of the biggest lessons that I learned in 2025 that I know I want to take into 2026 as I question the rules and the beliefs and the things that I held that no longer served me, it is so important. If we want to win, if we want to grow, if we want to expand, we have to do so in the reality of what the world is that we're living in, not how it should be now. You know, we just talked about shoulding. We, you know, we're laying that to the side. I think for a lot of us, particularly as millennials and Gen Z, the world that we grew up in as kids and the world that we have been given as adults are two very different things. And that is so incredibly real. The experiences that our parents had in young adulthood are very different than the experiences that we are having today. In a lot of ways, they had a lot of advantages in terms of simplicity, economic opportunity, lower cost of living and things like stable job, buying a home, et cetera, et cetera, feeling so much more accessible. And trust me when I say I understand, and I feel that too. And I also think for our generations, we also have a lot of advantages that they didn't have in the sense that we have so many options, we have so much choice. There is so much available to us that wasn't necessarily available to them. Now, I think that there can be beauty in that simplicity. And there's also a lot of beauty in realizing that the world for us is a lot bigger. And I think if we are going to live whatever version of our best lives, whatever version that looks like, we have to understand that we are now doing it in a new world. And what that looks like for us, it's not going to look like what we saw when we were growing up. And it is absolutely okay to be pissed off about that. It is absolutely okay to be upset about it. And we're going to continue moving forward through it, through those feelings. Let's have those feelings, feel it. But we're going to keep moving forward. We have to operate in the world as it is, not how we think it should be, if we are going to get ahead, if we're going to be lucky, if we're going to feel aligned with our highest selves. Because the reality is it is simply a different world. I think there are so many ways that we can use the world that not the world that we live in today. Because child is a dumpster fire. The biggest thing that we have on our side is choice. And while having an abundance of choice can feel incredibly overwhelming, there is also so much power in that, because that power of choice is what gives us the ability to break and rewrite some of these rules that are holding us back and keeping our lives smaller than we would like them to be. I don't know about you, but I feel like I've been in so many situations where I see people who are like not great people continue winning. As much as we were raised to believe that like being so pure, this ties into the good girl rule. Being the most pure, wholesome, good hearted person means you always win in the end. Part of being an adult is realizing that's not always true. And I'm not telling you to not have a good heart. I'm not telling you to lie, cheat, steal. But there is something to seeing people who are not the best people win that makes you take a step back and be like, huh? How did they get there? I think oftentimes when we see people who are not good people winning, it's actually because they've mastered this. It's because they've mastered understanding the world we live in and not how we think the world should be. So much of what is around us is not fair. So much of what is around us is not equitable. The more of us that are solid people continue growing and being lucky and stepping into power and stepping into abundance, I think we have a real shot at helping to make things more fair and equitable. But sometimes the game is the game and you are either going to play to win or you're going to get played. We got to start playing to win, to fight back from some of these not great people who be getting everything because they're very good at operating in the world as it is. Meanwhile, the rest of us are still lost in the sauce over how we think things should be. Even though we are often the product of our circumstances and the product of our environment, that doesn't mean that we automatically default to being the victim. I think more of us need to win and I think that we can win if we play the game as it's being played. So you've come this far. You are ready to break the rules that are holding you back and you are ready to step into the luckiest version of yourselves. Step one, you need to take audit of the rules that are running your life. So I just gave you those three big rules that apply to a lot of us, right? The good girl rule, the playing it safe rule, and the should rule. Those are like the universal rules that we're all breaking. But there are probably some other rules that maybe directly apply to your life that you can benefit from from questioning Maybe it's feeling like you can't try at something unless you do it perfectly. Maybe it's feeling like you need to be low maintenance and a cool girl who has no needs. Maybe you're afraid to show your ambition because you feel like it's too much. Maybe you feel like success requires suffering and that is a rule that you're holding yourself to take. Audit of what your current beliefs are, what the current rules are that you are abiding by, and identify which personal rules you are ready to break. Once you have identified the rules that you want to break, you're going to move to step two. You are going to replace each of those rules with some sort of personal principle or affirmation to help you kind of break through it and rewrite that rule. If you are somebody who feels like you can't be too loud, like you can't be ambitious, you can't voice what you want, or you can't be proud and celebrate your accomplishments, right? Your personal rule is like, I can't brag. I have to be overly humble. Maybe that personal principle is I deserve visibility. My visibility is a service to other people and to myself. Maybe you are still hung up on being realistic and making sure that your goals or your dreams are realistic. Maybe that is still a rule that you're working through. And maybe the principle that helps you break that rule that you can rely on is, my vision, is my strategy, or it is safe for me to dream bigger. So anytime that you feel like that old nudge of like, oh, I should be realistic or ugh, that old rule is rearing its head. These are the principles you need to repeat to yourself. If a rule that you're still hung up on, even though we've done a couple episodes about it, you're still working on it. I get it. I've done like 350 episodes and I'm still working on all this stuff. Okay? And I'm the one saying it is you're still working on being realistic and feeling like you need to be realistic. Maybe you can replace that with my vision is what drives my success. Or maybe you are somebody who has a personal rule that you have been following or adhering to that says that your success requires suffering. I think this is relevant for a lot of us. So maybe if a rule that has been holding you down is feeling like success requires suffering, maybe the principle that you replace that with is I can enjoy my path to success or I can enjoy my life and be successful. It's just really important to Remember that at the end of the day, rules restrict you and principles help guide and redirect you. So again, if you start feeling like these old rules are like rearing up, you can feel them coming up. Go ahead and affirm these principles instead, and you can also tailor them to work best for you. And then the last step of the lucky strategy framework is to start acting as your luckiest self. This is tricky to do all day, every day, but I want you to incorporate moments into your day now that embody how your luckiest self would react. And you can have daily, weekly, monthly actions to help remind you to be your luckiest self. So maybe a daily action could be doing your daily best case scenario journaling, which is something I talk about a lot, which is where you do freeform journaling in the morning, describing the day that you want to have, assuming all best case scenarios that you try to show up as that person throughout the day. Maybe weekly you have a goal to have like one rule breaking action. Like you do one dedicated thing each week to try to break a rule. And then monthly you do one thing that you envision your future self would already be doing. Maybe you take the afternoon and you spend time in the neighborhood that you dream of living in, or you tour apartments that your higher self would live in. Like you have that intentional time monthly to have a day as your higher self. The bottom line is as you work to break these rules and unlearn these beliefs, you're creating identity shifts in real time. And it is incredibly important that you show up as her, because those identity shifts are what create lucky streaks. And after enough time of showing up in this way, there actually won't be a difference between you showing up as your highest sel and actually being her. So I want to talk about the personal rule that I'm going to be leaving in 2025 and what I'm going to be doing in 2026. Instead, a list of things that I am not bringing into 2026, downplaying my aspirations and accomplishments and leaning too heavily on both criticism and praise. And all of these things have been things that I have struggled with in the past. And so we're doing a lot of un learning and they're also all tightly connected. Over the past year or so, I have felt so much tension within myself and within my job. When I take a step back and when I look at my business, there are two sides of the business that I've been balancing for several years now. There is the podcast side, which is me showing up Talking to you, my friend. And then there is the social media side, the influencer side. And from the outside, it may seem that those two things are like one in the same, but from my perspective and as the one executing it, those two things are actually constantly at odds with one another. And it is really hard for me to balance both sides of this business because the two sides require actually entirely different things. On the podcast side, I need to show up as a leader and as a thought leader and as a facilitator of conversation who is here to help you think and grow. But on social media, it's a little bit different. I gotta show up and I gotta be big sister general and everybody's best friend. And there is this kind of parasocial element to it that the longer I do it, the more I'm realizing I don't love that element of feeling like the only traction that I get is when I'm like crying on TikTok and people are harassing me on Twitter. Right. But in that line of work, that is what success looks like. That is like the only thing that you can do to kind of grow. And previously, a moment like that would have really scared me because I would have been very afraid of that visibility. I would have been very afraid of that criticism or of people judging me or of people misunderstanding me. I'm becoming a lot more comfortable and my skin is becoming a lot thicker in being able to be misunderstood and not taking people's praise to heart too much and also not taking criticism too heart too much. And that has been so incredibly helpful for me as I figure out how to navigate these two worlds that require a lot of me, where one, I absolutely love and dive headfirst into the other. I don't as much, but is a necessary part of keeping this whole thing going. I want to navigate these two worlds that are at odds with one another. It's time for me to be really honest about what it is I truly want. And when I think about these two worlds and the one that I want, that lights me up, that I get excited about, it's absolutely the podcast side and leaning more into the podcast side and also not downplaying one who I am in the podcast space, because I've been running a podcast for seven years, well over 300 episodes. I do this and I do this for real. And no, I'm not fucking Joe Rogan, thank God, or Alex Cooper. But just because I'm not getting multimillion dollar contracts doesn't mean that my work isn't valuable. And it doesn't mean I don't know what the fuck I'm doing or who the fuck I am, and I need to start showing up that way. Two, it's helping me be more comfortable stating my big goals out loud. I was like the queen of, like, moving in silence. And I was always so afraid to speak things out loud if I wanted them because I was afraid of someone being able to mess it up. Right? Evil eye is gonna get me someone's. If I announce this goal or people know what I'm up to, someone's gonna ruin it. And I'm realizing that, like, no one is that powerful, no mere mortal is powerful enough to truly ruin. One, something that I am determined to reach. And two, what I feel my destiny is. It's okay for me to speak my goals out loud. And I've been very vocal about the fact that I want this show to be massive. I want this show to grow and to be one of the top podcasts in the world. I want to be up there on the list with those other people that I've mentioned because we need more people listening to shows that are sensible and helpful and have sense and aren't brain rocked. And I think that this show is the show to do it. And I'm unapologetic about wanting to grow and expand to get there. And it's going to require a lot of me, but it's also going to require me not downplaying that that's what I want. And so those are some of the things that I'm really wanting to leave behind in 2025. And I'm really embodying this idea of owning my gifts, of owning what it is I truly want and how I truly want to show up in the world, not forcing myself to fit in this influencer mold that I don't like. And that doesn't fit me because I feel like I need to play that game. That is a rule that is outdated, that I'm breaking. I don't need to cry on TikTok to have people care, because if that's the only thing people care about, they're the wrong people. I care about people who care about what's happening on this show and who are watching an episode like this till the end to this point. And if crying over being single is the only thing that resonates with somebody, that's fine. But there's going to be somebody else who they resonate with because I much prefer to be here speaking power and life into people. And I want to Be loud and unapologetic about that. So as I think about those big rules that I'm breaking in 2026, there was also some smaller rules that I'm breaking to support that big rule. The rule that says I must do everything alone. I can have help. 2. The rule that says that ambition needs to be softened. We've covered ambition is not masculine. It means that you have vision, and it means that you want to rise to the occasion to step into that. And I think that you can absolutely do that and be feminine. And I also think a lot of the things that we say are masculine are being a functioning adult. So I reject that. I'm also breaking the rule that says that I can't build a massive media company. That because I'm a black woman, the goals that I have and what is achievable for me is so much lower that I can only have a small sliver. No, I reject that. I want the pie and I'm breaking that rule this year. I also want to break the rule that says that I have to justify my success, because I think that the work speaks for itself and I want to be more unapologetic about that. Those are the rules that I am breaking. As we head into 2026, I've given you a lot of tools and a lot of frameworks to really think about the rules that you want to break and not bring into this new year. 2026 is going to be the year of aligned rebellion, and we are all in it together. It is time to break these inherited rules that don't serve you and to start carving out the path that is authentically yours. Because the most successful lucky people are the ones who stop waiting for permission and start choosing what's next for them. Your luckiest year doesn't just arrive. You need to create it. Because if you sit and wait, before you know it, it's going to be 2027, and you don't want a year from now to be feeling the exact same way. So let's go out and create our own luck this year. If you enjoyed this episode, please make sure that you share it with a friend. Because a rising tide lifts all boats. I want us all to get lucky together. If you're not subscribed to she's so Lucky, go ahead and do that. You can subscribe here on YouTube, you can subscribe on Apple, you can subscribe on Spotify. We have so many incredible episodes coming for you this year that you don't want to miss a moment. So hit subscribe I want to know what rules you're breaking. So go ahead, drop a comment on YouTube, drop a comment on Spotify, Drop a comment on our latest Instagram reel telling us what rules you're breaking in 2026. Thank you for tuning in. Happy New year. I know 2026 is going to be the luckiest year yet. I will see you next week.
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Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode of she's so Lucky. If you're ready to create your own luck, hit that subscribe button wherever you get your podcasts or on YouTube so you don't miss an episode and head to the show Notes for resources, links and discount codes. And if you are really feeling lucky, we would appreciate your rating and your review.
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It really helps us be able to.
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Improve the show to get great guests and to understand what you want to hear more of. Thank you for tuning in and I'll see you next week.
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Foreign.
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Dating in this era isn't casual. It's strategic and emotional. And sometimes it still feels absolutely ridiculous. Welcome to We Met at Acme, the OG dating podcast that meets you right where you're at and gives you the real rules for dating, marriage and life beyond the ever elusive happily ever after. I'm Lindsay Metzilar and I've been through it all. The apps, the ghosting, finding the one, the ring, and yes, even the baby. Expect ultra honest guest conversations, personal hot takes, and unfiltered advice where I give it to you straight.
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No exceptions.
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So sit down, tune in and take notes every Sunday because the rules of dating may have changed, but the standards higher than ever.
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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.