← She's So Lucky
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- [00:01]
Les
The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Welcome to the show. Thank you so much for tuning into.
- [00:13]
Jordan
This week's episode of Balance Black Girl. Now, if you follow me on social media, you have probably heard me talk about how fascinated I am by learning how successful women do things. And this is going to be a big theme on the show for the foreseeable future because that is very much what I'm into and the types of conversations that I want to have. And so you're going to see that reflected in many of our guests, and you've already seen it reflected in our guests since the start of 2025. But today's guest is super special. I connected with her right away and we just had the best, most soul uplifting conversation. So I'm joined today by Cara Brothers, who is the president of Starface World.
- [00:54]
Les
Now, you may be familiar with Starface.
- [00:55]
Jordan
Because they make the really cute pimple.
- [00:57]
Les
Patch that are the shape of a star.
- [00:59]
Jordan
That can help you just kind of adorn your face, even if you're experiencing a bit of a breakout. They also recently launched their Starface balm, which is amazing. But I wanted to talk to Cara about what it's like being in such a high pressure position. She is really growing this new company really quickly and has a really high profile role. And I wanted to know, how does she keep her nervous system in track? What makes her tick? How does she do that? Also, as a mom of two young kids, we have some interesting conversations about balance that may be a little bit different than what you've heard elsewhere. And we just had a blast. So please join me in welcoming Cara to the show. Well, welcome to the show, Cara.
- [01:42]
Cara Brothers
Thank you. I'm thrilled to be here.
- [01:44]
Jordan
I am so excited to have you here. We already had, like, a fun kiki before we started rolling. It's going to be even better.
- [01:49]
Cara Brothers
Can't wait.
- [01:50]
Jordan
Even better. Well, I'm super excited to chat with you. You are the president of Starface World. I am an amazing company that has been growing and disrupting, and it's just so damn cool.
- [02:01]
Cara Brothers
Thank you so much. I love that company. What a special place I found myself at. It's been a blast, honestly.
- [02:07]
Les
Yeah.
- [02:07]
Jordan
Can we talk about your career trajectory and what brought you to Starface?
- [02:10]
Cara Brothers
Man, you know, I like to say that this is probably what my, like, teenage girl was dreaming up a little bit. Like, okay, so I was always starting the business and I was the one with the dog walking business and the house cleaning business and all of this random stuff. But I was also like, in my room, trying to be creative and, like, trying to draw and trying to figure this out. And so to marry those two together and run this highly creative business is a dream. And so what happened? How did I get here? I. A lot of testing and learning, Les like, for real. And a lot of, like, refusing to not be happy, not be fulfilled. And so I was searching for this a lot. I was at Google for about 10 years and, you know, they say the golden handcuffs, it was great. It wasn't like I wasn't rocking it there. I wasn't doing anything that incredible. I mean, obviously I had some good stuff going on, but I always knew, like, this, this isn't it. Like, I'm supposed to be doing something else. And so I just tried and tried and didn't get a lot of stuff, didn't get a lot of interviews, tried for jobs like this a lot. You know, it was just falling flat, frankly. And then I mentioned to a coach that I was working with at the time that I was like, something's not right. And they're like, I think I know some entrepreneurs that are your speed. And it happened to be Brian Bordenick, the founder of Starface. And you know, quite honestly, he just kind of took a chance on me and we were like, let's see what this is and let's see if it's a fit. And that was four years ago, almost today to the date.
- [03:41]
Jordan
I love that you talked about having kind of that early entrepreneurial business acumen side and creativity, because I think sometimes people talk about those two things like they're mutually exclusive. You are either business minded or you are a creative. And if you're creative, you can't. You know, it's going to be hard for you to learn how to run a business. And I think that you clearly marry the two really beautifully and are proof.
- [04:04]
Les
That the two can coexist.
- [04:05]
Cara Brothers
I love that. Thank you. I didn't realize that, that we do that as people until this job. Yeah, like, you're either on the business side or you're the creative person. I reject that. I mean, I reject a lot of stuff, but I reject that wholeheartedly. I don't believe anybody's like that. Sure, you probably have some proclivities, but yeah, I do think my sweet spot is like, right in the middle. And some days I lean one way and some days I lean the other. But it's that marriage of both of those that is so exciting and hard.
- [04:34]
Jordan
Most definitely. Yeah, I can relate to that a lot. And you Mentioned also that you'd been working with a coach for a while. What made you want to start working with a coach? How helpful was that experience?
- [04:43]
Cara Brothers
Oh, my God, girl. You know what? I kind of just named this probably in the last year or so. But I'm always searching for a teacher. I'm. I'm always kind of looking for help. Like a. Yeah, teacher in all forms, really. Call it a therapist. I'm evolving into, like, more coaching. I'll have a coach purely for business. I'll have a coach for my mindset. Like, I really believe in that team kind of thing. So, you know, at Google, one of the best things was there was this, like, stipend that you could use for different stuff. And that probably was my first time being like, ooh, what's this? Like, what would this do? And then probably ever since I have someone in my corner just like, helping refine or like, call me on whatever, like, rear train of thought, I'm going down, for sure.
- [05:34]
Jordan
I admire that because I foolishly am one of those people who tries to do everything myself. Yeah, yeah. Not from a lack of wanting teachers, but just having a hard time maybe seeking them out or, you know, maybe it's just not the right time or not quite the right.
- [05:51]
Cara Brothers
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
- [05:53]
Jordan
I think being in that position to always be willing to be a student is really important.
- [05:57]
Cara Brothers
Yeah. And you know what I think throws some people off is that a lot of. A lot of it's about fit. And if that first one isn't the right fit, maybe that second one and then that third one, you're kind of like, okay, no. And like, it just gets exhausting too, because you have to find the person, schedule it. Like, it definitely is a whole thing, but when you find that right fit, like, it's so helpful. And also, like, I believe in seasons and truncated timeframes too. So it could be a six month, you know, relationship that changes your life and then you move on. And I feel like I found all of a sudden I'll say to myself, hmm, I need like a refreshed person to talk to. And then I'll see someone random comment on LinkedIn and then I'll reach out and it might be, you know, it's just like being open. You know how they say, like, once you ask for something, just be open for that thing to appear and then run for it. I feel like that's kind of the theme of how I do a lot of stuff, honestly.
- [06:53]
Les
Yeah.
- [06:54]
Jordan
Very intuitive. I love that.
- [06:56]
Cara Brothers
Very intuitive.
- [06:57]
Jordan
Yeah. So, so good.
- [06:58]
Cara Brothers
Thanks.
- [06:59]
Jordan
Yeah. So I would love to get into more of the nitty gritty of like how you work, how you tick, because I'm just very nosy. But I also am so fascinated by women who are in high positions either in their own companies and other companies, what that looks like, what your habits look like, just how you operate. I'm just like so fascinated.
- [07:23]
Cara Brothers
I love that stuff too.
- [07:24]
Jordan
And just getting in the nitty gritty, like free reign to be nosy.
- [07:28]
Cara Brothers
Love that.
- [07:28]
Jordan
If you're okay with.
- [07:29]
Cara Brothers
Absolutely. Can I try something on you that I haven't said that, like, I'm like, it's really noodling on me.
- [07:34]
Les
Would love.
- [07:34]
Cara Brothers
I'm seeing a lot of high powered women say that balance doesn't exist and it's been rubbing me the wrong way for a little while.
- [07:43]
Jordan
I know this is the perfect place to talk about that.
- [07:44]
Cara Brothers
Exactly. So I'm like, you know what? I wanted, like test this on you and see what you think.
- [07:47]
Jordan
Yeah.
- [07:48]
Cara Brothers
Because I believe so strongly in balance and have forever at any stage of my life. And I just, I'm really not sure that the narrative of like, balance throughout the window, like, it's a farce. And I deeply understand that because especially like I do have a big sexy job and. But there are levels to this and I know that like as you get more and more responsibilities and more and more things, your time gets crunched. However, for me, I feel like it's an exercise of boundaries and intentions, you know what I mean? And like I have two kids, I run this company, I have creative projects, I have, I have relationships that I want to build. And so you know what I do kind of try to do, which is more recent, is I kind of like in my mini planners that I don't use, I will just say like, okay, what are the things you care about, you know, for the rest of your life? Relationships, creative projects, health. And then I'm like, okay, how's this week looking on those things? Do I have a phone call with a friend? Check. Relationship is good, you know, like, and I just, just check in. So I really, really, really. I'm a person who needs that balance. I go to sleep early, I'm a morning person. I will not answer a slack. Or if I do, I'll stop and be like, oh my gosh, this is stressing me out. Can we talk about in the morning? Like even saying, can we talk about this tomorrow? Like, I'll be better tomorrow. I'll have smarter ideas. Like, and I just feel like we have some. I could Talk about this forever. Clearly, I'm word vomiting, but I. I feel like there's. There's something about that balance that helps me feel good and probably thrive in a lot of my roles. Yeah.
- [09:26]
Jordan
Yeah. And be able to. To lead from that perspective too. Because if you're setting that precedent, then your team also is. Would do the same.
- [09:33]
Cara Brothers
I hope so. Yeah, for sure. I do. I. I do speak a lot about that. A lot to them. And, you know, we're wired differently too. I've never pulled an all nighter in my life, you know, and I know people who. They needed that. A, I was happy with that. B, plus, you know, and so it's like we're. We're different. And I'm so grateful that I have people that work for me, work around me that are not that way too. And then that's where it's like a push and a pull for sure. But I genuinely believe that we're better when there's a. A steady state.
- [10:08]
Jordan
Yeah. I think when people have so much smoke for the term balance, where that comes from is feeling like they need to be 110% in every single area. And yeah, if you look at it that way, like, that's not possible for anybody. But if. I love the way that you put it with, like, boundaries and intention.
- [10:27]
Les
Okay.
- [10:28]
Jordan
You're able to set boundaries where you need. You're able to put some energy and intention towards the things. Even if, like, your example for relationships reach out to a friend. Check. Doesn't mean that you are, like, throwing a Pinterest perfect party every time someone, you know.
- [10:41]
Cara Brothers
Yeah.
- [10:41]
Jordan
Sends an email.
- [10:42]
Cara Brothers
Oh, my gosh. Yeah. You're. You're making me think about, like, perfection. And I had a friend, one of my closest friends and her husband call me a perfectionist, like, maybe two years ago, and I was like, what the. Like, I'm not a perfectionist. And then I was like, oh, shit. I am like. And so you're right. Like, striving towards an unattainable thing. I think we have to stop. And I do think that's the future a little bit. I like to say that, you know, in the world of parenting, the school realm is not my forte. So I'm never gonna be, like, the best school mom. And I'm not, like, proud of that, but I am very confident and comfortable in my contribution to my community and my kids. Knowing that that's getting a. That's getting a C right there. No question about it. I cannot volunteer. Not that I don't have time. I don't like to, you know, I don't want to take 30 kids to the movies and that sort of thing. And so once I just named that and like release the guilt too and stop like spinning about it, I was like, okay, so then how, like where will I b. Like where will I make up for that in my own like standard setting?
- [12:02]
Les
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- [14:55]
Jordan
Helps me actually hit my water goals each day.
- [14:58]
Les
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- [15:21]
Jordan
I would love to talk a little bit more about work and your approach for work and being the president of a really fast growing company that has like really big goals, has experienced a.
- [15:34]
Les
Lot of tremendous growth over the past few years.
- [15:37]
Jordan
How do you keep your nervous system in check with that much responsibility?
- [15:41]
Cara Brothers
You know, the balance we talked about, like the shutting off, I can kind of, I can quickly tell when I'm not saying acting, feeling like my best, and then I'll shut it down, I'll take a step back and that really helps me a lot. And I do all the things, you know, I'll do all the, like, meditating, which for me has helped a lot too. Like Covid really helped solidify that practice for me because all of us, you know, But I feel like I have so many thoughts, competing thoughts, negative thoughts, things that like, just are not serving me at all. And I would really believe them, which has just changed recently. And now I'm just like, oh, this is just what happens to your brain, you know, and this is just what happens to someone who's never seen someone like you with your personality lead a company. Oh, okay. This is what happens. And I'm just kind of letting everything be more neutral these days, which has been really lovely. I like to have fun. I want to laugh and I want to play. And so a lot of things at work, I do approach with a lot of ease, with a lot of like, all right, let's take it easy, you know, let's laugh. We can be mad at each other things, you know, it doesn't have to be all hunky dory, but let's like tone it down a notch a little. And that approach has really served me well too.
- [17:00]
Jordan
Yeah, I appreciate what you said about just the fact that it's your first time in a role of this magnitude and still navigating what that looks like. What are some things that have helped either prepare you for where you are now or since being in the role? You're like, okay, these are the skills that I'm gonna strengthen and this is how I do it.
- [17:19]
Cara Brothers
I'm a really fast decision maker. I know you mentioned that, like, there's something intuitive about what I say. I do have this intuition. And while it could, it's not seen, you know, as valid in business. Not that it should or shouldn't. Actually, it should. I shouldn't say it shouldn't. I believe that it should. And so there's something about having a really sound gut reaction to things that I brought with me early to this role. And so that decisiveness in the face of complete uncertainty and being okay with that being wrong, but knowing that a decision is necessary kind of all the time. And so you pick that path and let's move through that. So I think that's probably the number one most like natural skill set that's helped me for sure. And then on the flip side of that, I've had a lot of varied career experiences with a lot of kind of tough moments, a lot of tougher managers kind of stuff, and, you know, not necessarily finding my right fit. A lot of times I knew that if I ever got this opportunity, I was gonna be the leader that I always wanted. And again, it's not about perfection. It's not about getting it right. But I was damn near gonna try. And so I did like fall in love with leadership and managing and having this conversation and how do you have a one on one and is this the right performance review and all of that. And again, perfection is not the goal for me anymore. But to really be intentional about those, like human relationships does come very natural to me as well. And then with that kind of on the same page is like a culture or an environment. And so like, I mean, I know we all have examples of like corporate environments. I think that, I think it's a joke, you know, I think it's a joke how. And again, some of this is necessary and natural and I, and I probably steward a lot of negative aspects of this for sure, but the hierarchy and the like, lack of transparency that comes with that, or like the fronting and the faking that you have to do. And the behind the back and the sending the email for the email, like, all that stuff. I just want to laugh because it's like, no, no, no, no. And so that's what's hard as Starface Scales, because. And especially as a fully remote company, there is probably more process than my soul, you know, really likes. And there probably is a lot protocol and prep for this. And, you know, when stuff comes to me, people thought about it tremendously, you know, and so it is happening, but wherever I can see it and, like, cut through that, like, you know, I just want to. And so I have an inclination to do that kind of stuff.
- [20:08]
Jordan
I would love to go back to what you just shared, especially with those two skills that you really highlighted there. Decision making as well as leadership. How do you combat decision fatigue? Because I'm sure you make a million decisions in a day, personally and professionally.
- [20:22]
Cara Brothers
That's actually a really good one. You know, I love building teams and hiring people, and again, everyone knows more about this industry than I do, and so I'm not really on people's stuff like that. So there's a lot of delegating and there's. At this point, there are so many smart people that are doing things and making decisions. So that helps. And kind of like the intention and the boundaries. Like, I know on any given week what. What my most important decisions are that I can control. Of course, all kinds of things come up. So I. I like, at least give that kind of stuff a little bit of thought. And it can just be like, all right, Noah's got a math test he hasn't studied, and this and this. Do I care how he feels about this math test? Or, like, he's got his first basketball. Like, should I, you know, even small stuff like that. Okay. Or someone's on my team is pissed at me for this conversation that I had. I probably want to show up extra thoughtful on this next conversation. So there is a lot of, like, where. Where do I need to lean in a little more? But I'm still fatigued. I'm fatigued about a lot of. I wish I was one of those who can, like, eat the same thing for lunch every day or wear the same outfit. No, Like, I love variety and change, too.
- [21:39]
Jordan
Yeah, that's real. Do you have decision fatigue? I do get decision fatigue, but I am somebody who can do the same thing over and over. Like, I can eat the same thing for a few weeks and just not care.
- [21:50]
Cara Brothers
Amazing.
- [21:51]
Jordan
I feel like every outfit I wear is a variation of the same thing.
- [21:54]
Cara Brothers
Amazing.
- [21:54]
Jordan
Okay, cool.
- [21:55]
Cara Brothers
Yeah.
- [21:55]
Jordan
But maybe just like a slightly different color, different shoe. Right. So yeah. But I do still feel like I have quite a bit of decision fatigue even with trying to hack hack my life in that way. And who knows, maybe I'm only okay with those things as a coping mechanism. I don't know.
- [22:13]
Cara Brothers
Who knows?
- [22:13]
Jordan
Yeah, probably. Probably foreign we all know sleep is everything.
- [22:24]
Les
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- [25:44]
Jordan
So earlier you mentioned something that is incredible that I want to also make sure that we highlight and like, really shout out. You talked about revenue for Starface Starting around 5 million when you came on. Now around 90 million. That's so crazy. Incredible. How does it, how does it feel?
- [26:05]
Cara Brothers
Awesome.
- [26:06]
Jordan
Yeah, yeah.
- [26:07]
Cara Brothers
Feels awesome. I'm so proud.
- [26:08]
Les
Yeah.
- [26:09]
Cara Brothers
You know, I like me and our head of finance, Dan, like, once we became profitable too, we're like, yes. Like, we're the sick. We did the sickest thing. I mean, it's proud as hell, hands down.
- [26:19]
Jordan
And the company was founded in 2019.
- [26:22]
Cara Brothers
Right.
- [26:22]
Jordan
It's only five, six years old. Yeah, it's amazing.
- [26:24]
Les
It's incredible. Yeah.
- [26:26]
Cara Brothers
And to think about what we're doing too, like, we're just, you know, putting stickers on people's faces and that sort of thing. It's like, wow. I mean, it's, it's a tremendous amount of money. It's a tremendous amount of success because I have this desire to like change the world, like help us all feel better on a day to day basis. That was also really interesting to me. Like to take something that people feel horrible about and swish it up. I had no idea, like when, when Brian and Julie were talking to me about that, I'm like, what are you talking about? Yes. This is, I've never heard of anything like that. And now we really do get people writing in, like high school kids being like, you changed my life, you changed how I feel. And that. I just, I just love that. So couple that with the, like, financial success. You do feel really good.
- [27:18]
Jordan
Yeah, absolutely.
- [27:19]
Cara Brothers
Yeah.
- [27:20]
Les
Yeah. And it kind of shifts some of.
- [27:21]
Jordan
The narratives that we have around Skin. How we feel about skin on its head where it's like if we have a blemish, we feel like we need to hide it. We need to have this image of perfection and it gives people permission to play with it.
- [27:33]
Cara Brothers
Exactly. 100%. Yeah.
- [27:35]
Jordan
What were some of the factors that were the biggest drivers of that growth?
- [27:38]
Cara Brothers
I think that we had this mindset of like, be where pimples are. So there's like this ubiquity to our retail strategy where we are in Target and Walmart and CVS and Walgreens. So we're at your everyday, like pick up a necessity location, which is amazing place to be. We're also really fun, especially at that time when we launched like a. A, A fun item to pick up in an otherwise kind of drab aisle, you know, too. Which is. Which is like helped for sure. And then we learned so much. So we just launched our starbomb in August. And so we're. We're launching new stuff too. And so we started obviously with the yellow hydrocolloid. Then we've been adding ingredients and colors. Like we're just kind of playing and. And like testing and learning too, which has bred a culture of, I mean, innovation to sound ridiculous, but kind of just like, let's try that out. Let's see if that works. And I feel like that and learning from that quickly has helped for sure.
- [28:43]
Jordan
Yeah. Yeah.
- [28:44]
Les
Experimentation.
- [28:45]
Cara Brothers
Exactly.
- [28:46]
Jordan
Yeah.
- [28:46]
Cara Brothers
Yeah.
- [28:47]
Jordan
Have you also found yourself needing to increase your risk tolerance or were you already someone who was pretty comfortable with risk?
- [28:55]
Cara Brothers
In my most clear moment, I don't feel that there is a wrong answer or there is a mistake, even if it looks like that at the time. I believe that things come around for the better, I think in my heart. Yeah. Which helps.
- [29:11]
Jordan
I appreciate that. I have said on the podcast before, like, similarly about not being afraid of right or wrong answers because something is rarely wrong. It just might be a detour, it might take longer. It might be an opportunity to problem solve. But very often things are not like wrong per se.
- [29:31]
Cara Brothers
I totally right. And you've taken a lot of risks.
- [29:33]
Jordan
Yeah, yeah. But it just took a long time to get there.
- [29:36]
Cara Brothers
Yeah, I know.
- [29:36]
Jordan
Probably could have been further ahead if I took some sooner.
- [29:38]
Cara Brothers
I. I feel the same way.
- [29:40]
Les
Yeah.
- [29:41]
Cara Brothers
Yeah.
- [29:41]
Jordan
So when you think about goals.
- [29:45]
Cara Brothers
Yeah.
- [29:45]
Jordan
From the perspective of leading goals for a company as well as your personal goals, are those two things connected? Do you follow kind of the same process for setting and refining goals Intersect. They have nothing to do with one another. How do they relate?
- [30:00]
Cara Brothers
My gut is saying that they have nothing to do each other. But I don't think that's right. So my husband and I will do, like, an annual strategy session or something that we've done forever, and we would. We would sit at a coffee shop, and we would be like, all right, what are the pillars of our life that we care about? Our marriage, before we had kids, even, like, travel, get our money. Right? Like, all of this stuff. And we would really check in on that. And me and my team do that at Starface, like, regularly, for sure. So there's something there about, like, a reflection, like, where's the gap kind of process? For sure. But I'm learning, and I could be wrong. But at. At Starface, sometimes simpler is better than maybe what I do in my personal life, even though I'm trying to bring more simplicity there, too. But it's really, like. Because it is simple, you know, like, here's what we're trying to do. We're trying to serve our customers in this amount of ways, in this new ways. We're trying to keep this culture as special as we possibly can. Again, it's not perfect, but, you know, just keep that in mind when you're making decisions. You know, it's like, kind of simple in that way. And then in my personal life, I'm really working on bigger. I mean, I think we all are, I hope, but there's a there. And I. You know what? And I should probably bring this back to Starface, now that I'm saying this out loud, but, like, a little bit of a boundless kind of attitude, which is new.
- [31:21]
Jordan
What does a boundless attitude look like for you?
- [31:24]
Cara Brothers
Scared to say no, I'll say, because I know. I just, like, posted this yesterday. I'm having so much fun on Instagram, by the way, with my 1,000 followers.
- [31:30]
Jordan
You're going to have some more after this. Yes.
- [31:33]
Cara Brothers
I, like, I'll take something like Instagram, which really stresses me out, because I didn't realize how much I cared about what other people think about me and how much I cared about the stories that they're saying about me. And again, I had a transformational year last year, clearly. But it's like, of course I care, but I don't care as much. And sometimes I'll write, how stupid would you be, Cara, if you let this person's opinion of you dictate anything about your life? Like, anything. Imagine that. And I just. It was like a light bulb. I was like, oh, you think this? I can't care about that. Which was, for Some reason was revolutionary for me. It's ridiculous. But travel, I. I want us all to be more connected than we are. Things that are happening on this side of the world are connected, in my opinion, to things that are happening on that side of the world. And I want us to see that. And so I want to travel because it helps me see that. It helps me and my family feel that way. But since I had kids, I would just go to the beach or to the resort or somewhere close. And obviously, like, all of this is first world problems. My whole life is a first world problem. But, like, there's more. And so that's a kind of a small example. And so is posting on Instagram, where it's like, I have something to say and I'm kind of having fun with it, which, again, is like my barometer. So, like, instead of nitpicking, which I do, just go for it a little. So it's like I'm going back and forth on how when I think about big and small. But I think it's things that I've known that I've shied away from for some reason that I'm just starting to confront.
- [33:13]
Jordan
Maybe I actually think what you said about caring about what other people think was really profound because I think a lot of advice that we get about that is very overly simplistic, like, oh, don't care. But nobody doesn't care. It's not about not caring because we can't necessarily control if our brain cares or not.
- [33:33]
Cara Brothers
Love that.
- [33:33]
Jordan
But we can not let that dictate every move we make.
- [33:39]
Cara Brothers
Facts, yes. And even that. Like, I just sit with that. You know what I mean? Like, yes, yes. And I think now that you're saying that out loud, I think I did. I was like, oh, I don't care. Just don't care. Start not to care. And you're like, no, you care. We want to care. We want people, you know, we want to feel seen, all of that stuff. But you're right. Like, how that determines your next action or your next thought or your next word. That's what you can. Can control for sure. Yeah.
- [34:04]
Jordan
Yeah. I'm learning to do the same thing where I'll have those moments where I realize I care or I'm being perceived. Now I'm like, okay, what am I going to do with this information? I know Usually nothing.
- [34:16]
Cara Brothers
Usually nothing.
- [34:17]
Jordan
Which reminds me, okay, maybe then it's not that important. If I can't or don't want to do anything with that, then I can start to let it Go.
- [34:24]
Cara Brothers
I love it.
- [34:25]
Jordan
Let it wash away.
- [34:26]
Cara Brothers
I know. I feel like SZA said something like she doesn't wanna be perceived. And when she said that, I was like, what are you talking about? And now all of a sudden I'm like, I get that. Don't perceive. But you can't control you. Do you just wanna exist and be you without other people's putting you in a box or like making some judgment about you? And I remember I mentioned that to my husband, comes from a long family of ministers and pastors, and I mentioned that to his father, like, oh, why do we always have to judge? And he was like, oh, it's natural, you know? And I'm just like, I guess it is. And I also thought that I didn't judge other people because I'm, I'm fairly open minded person. Then I was like, oh, girl, no, you're always judging someone else, you know, and like even just seeing that, I was just like, oh, this is what it looks like. This is why you're scared. Like, you know, and just being more mindful of it has helped actually. To your point. This is a reaction. This is a brain reaction.
- [35:14]
Jordan
Yeah, for sure. I feel like some of my biggest fears around being perceived have been around being pedestalized. Like when people want answers for things or like I want to be like you or whatever. I recognize that that's a compliment. But then also there's part of me that's like, that's terrifying. Don't. Because then if I do, if I get a little too human and then, you know, disappoint people or it becomes a thing. That's when like being perceived feels really scary.
- [35:43]
Cara Brothers
Like a lot of pressure to have to like. Yeah, I know, I feel that too. For sure.
- [35:48]
Jordan
Yeah, I could imagine too. Especially with, with a role like yours comes into play.
- [35:54]
Cara Brothers
Yeah, but you mess up and then you move forward. So it was almost like, you know, flaws and all kind of thing.
- [36:09]
Les
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- [37:53]
Jordan
Speaking of your Instagram, you had a post on Instagram that you posted back in December that I really loved. You called it your ins and outs, like all mashed into one. There's actually a few that I would love to share with the audience. No, they're so good. So good. I don't have all of them written down, but there were a few that I like, really, really loved and resonated, which were opposites, both being true. Never painting my nails again to still look and fly. Like we were just talking about posting and running away so I don't get hype or depressed about 3 likes. Loving my life despite whatever BS is going on. Not blaming anyone or anything anymore. Not obsessing over astrology even though Pluto is an Aquarius for 20 years. So watch me cook big money. Ignoring clickbait headlines. Choosing the positive story because it's all made up anyway.
- [38:39]
Cara Brothers
Oh, gosh, those are so good.
- [38:41]
Jordan
Can we talk about those? And like, what, what kind of brought you to that point of like, this is where I'm at.
- [38:46]
Cara Brothers
I remember watching people do their in and outs, you know, for years, especially being at Starface, where now I'm like, around so many, like, cool people, but literally, you know, editors and, and like fashion it people. And I'm just like, I love how you guys are, like, putting your takes out there. So for a couple years I've been wanting to do this and, and not doing it. And so it almost, I almost didn't do it this year again. And then all of a sudden it hit Me, like a, like literally a light bulb. I was like, this is what you want to say. Like, I was trying to fit into some other mold. And quite frankly, those are my personal lessons for the year. And like we talked about, I'm actually not doing great on all of those. Like, I'm very much still reading three horoscopes a day. Every time I post, I'm up obsessed with people's reaction to it. I cannot, I cannot break away. I have to delete the app. But then I read like, and, and it's mostly really beautiful and I'm just like, oh, this is a high, like feeling like you're impacting someone. It's insane. But then I really, again, back to the neutrality. I'm really trying to like, let that just be a data point. And my biggest one is the two, like are the nails and the opposite, like the opposite. I think, I think that's my hope for us, where any number of things that have happened and are going to keep happening, we must label them in our brain as good or bad and this and that. I know we talked a lot about wanting to control and it's very natural, but the truth is they are neither of those things because things come around and offshoots happen and people get inspired by this horrible thing that ends up changing a whole community. Or this person got put in a position of power and it made someone else, like, really inspired to step up in 10 years. You know, like, I play the long game now more than I realized. And I hope that for all of us too, because I have so many examples, even in my personal. Like, we were talking about creative versus business. Like we are, we are so many things the world and all of this is bigger than we try to put into our little brains. And so I think that's very freeing to think that way. Yeah, Paul's there, but I can talk about any of them.
- [41:03]
Jordan
Yeah. It actually reminds me of what we were saying right before we started recording when we were talking about astrology and like both maybe not doing as great of a job like taking a step back from it, calling it a meaning making system. And I do think that the ways that we sometimes tend to label things as like, good, bad, right, wrong, is another meaning making system. Just our brains trying to make sense of it all.
- [41:24]
Cara Brothers
Exactly, exactly.
- [41:26]
Jordan
But some things just don't make sense and they just won't, no matter. No matter what label we put on it.
- [41:30]
Cara Brothers
I know. They just don't. And you and us trying to make sense of them is almost like a Waste of time. I feel like, you know, like, go cook a meal or go for a run or go to like, just do almost anything else. And at first. And my husband sometimes will be like, oh, that's like a form of denial. I don't see it that way. It's. It's a way of moving forward and through that, I think has helped me for sure.
- [41:53]
Les
Yeah. Yeah.
- [41:54]
Jordan
And in some ways, a way to reclaim energy. Like, I. I don't know. I know a few years ago I was in a different space where I was just so focused on things that I believed to be right and values that I had. And largely my values are still the same. But, like, how much energy did I expend wanting other people to feel the same way when it.
- [42:17]
Les
They may.
- [42:18]
Jordan
They may not. How much energy did I spend reacting to things? It just is not.
- [42:23]
Cara Brothers
Oh, my gosh, Les. I resonate with that so much. I still do that a lot. And I think about that, you know, and. And that is when a meditation will help me. So I'll be like, you're trying to impose your value system on someone else or something else. You can't do that. And it's a waste of your time. And I would get so riled up. I do get so riled up. And you know, and I'm just like, like, yeah, exactly. There's. There's power and not doing that anymore.
- [42:50]
Jordan
Yeah, absolutely.
- [42:52]
Les
Yeah.
- [42:53]
Jordan
One of the things that we were also talking about off air, you have a birthday coming up, or maybe it'll probably be like your birthday right around the time this episode comes up and you're entering your 40s.
- [43:02]
Cara Brothers
I am.
- [43:03]
Jordan
Is there anything that you're excited about with this new decade?
- [43:06]
Cara Brothers
40 so crazy. Everything. I think, I feel, you know, all the things we've been talking about today are, yes, me, my whole life, but also recent, like. Like, it's solidifying now for me. And so I'm feel very inspired and bold, like, I almost can't hold it in. Like, it's bursting out how much I. I want to give and share. And I'm excited to go so in. In my 40s, kind of relentlessly and embarrassingly and just like, with a lot of fun and joy behind it, which again, has always been me. But we've talked about a lot of, like, spending the mental energy. I would also, like, I have proclivities to get a little sad, a little more down, a little more like second guess y. And so I'm a little bit freer. Of course, those things still plague me but there's a lighter energy to that now as I enter my 40s, which I'm just really grateful for.
- [44:09]
Jordan
Oh, that is awesome.
- [44:11]
Cara Brothers
Thanks.
- [44:11]
Jordan
I've even felt that way a little bit in my 30s. And I think about my 20 something self and just how anxious I was.
- [44:17]
Les
Over everything, where it's like, what am.
- [44:18]
Jordan
I doing with my life? I have to get everything right. I have to know what I'm doing. Everyone else knows what they're doing and I'm not. And then it's like you get older and you realize nobody knows what they're doing. And there is such a freedom in that. And it just is. It's why I like talking about it because I do have a lot of listeners in their 20s. We do tend to have an audience that is like kind of Gen Z entering maybe their first jobs, entering adulthood. And that is such a scary time. And it can feel like all of this pressure to, as I like to say, cram a lifetime's worth of achievements into that one decade. Cause I feel like that's what people in their 20s like to do. Everybody thinks that there's a cliff they jump off when they turn 30 and if they didn't do something before 30, like, it doesn't count or something. And I just like to remind everybody that there's so much life ahead.
- [45:05]
Cara Brothers
Oh my gosh.
- [45:06]
Jordan
So much freedom and goodness.
- [45:07]
Cara Brothers
Yes, exactly. I love that. I'm like, really? One of my, like, soft intentions is to build friends in other decades. And so I have like, friends that are just turning 30 and friends that are turning 50. And it's. You're exactly right. Like, it's. There's so much life on all of these ends of the spectrum and it's so energizing. And gosh, If I was 20s again, I probably would take more risk. Like, it's so funny to hear you say people are like, wanted to cram all this in. I feel like it doesn't even matter. And that's, you know, hindsight, 20, 20, who knows? But you're just supposed to be right and have fun and make some friends and make some mistakes.
- [45:42]
Jordan
Yeah, I feel the same way. I would have taken more risks too. Yeah. And similarly, I've actually been over the past year or so, I did have a post on TikTok kind of go viral about this because I wanted to follow more creators who were older. Like, I was really looking to follow women in their, like late 40s, early 50s, because I just felt like my feed was just all people in their 20s and 30s, and I was just like, honestly, I'm so sick of us. I've been on the Internet with people my age since MySpace. I've heard everything that everybody's gonna say, like, I want some, like, Gen X energy.
- [46:16]
Cara Brothers
Love it.
- [46:17]
Jordan
You know, just to spruce things up a little bit. And I have. I've been following just, like, some older ladies who are so. It's been awesome. It's giving great perspective. They have amazing style. They're doing all these things, you know, and getting to hear more about just, like, that next stage of life in a way that's not scary, but is super honest, has actually been really refreshing and has created a lot of peace.
- [46:38]
Cara Brothers
Oh, my gosh. That's beautiful. Yeah.
- [46:40]
Les
Cool.
- [46:40]
Cara Brothers
Yeah, I know.
- [46:41]
Jordan
I'll send you some way.
- [46:42]
Cara Brothers
Yeah. Please slide in my DMs with people. I love it. I'm really like Julia Louis Dreyfus. You know, she does. Doing that podcast, Wiser Than Me, with all of these icons and their 70s, 80s, and 90s, and it's just like, even that's fun to listen to. I know we were talking about before we started recording about the whole aging woman and, you know, and all of that. And again, I think everything's changing, and I think that's gonna change, too. But it is like, imagine if we had a whole group of people here across the decades just having this conversation. Like, how rich and you're Right. Like, peaceful, like, leveling. Would that feel.
- [47:17]
Jordan
Yeah. And fun and joyful.
- [47:21]
Cara Brothers
Yeah, exactly.
- [47:22]
Les
Yeah.
- [47:22]
Cara Brothers
Yeah.
- [47:23]
Jordan
And speaking of kind of tying it back to starface, because I feel like something that you all do really well is you do have this kind of message permeating of joy that in the beauty space, beauty can sometimes feel very serious. It can feel very stuffy. Talking about aging and skin care and, like, aging for women or even thinking about, like, hair and, like, for us as black women, conversations about hair get very serious very fast. It's just as, like. Like, there's so little room for play and fun when it comes to beauty. And I do really love that you all are bringing that to the space, because I think it's very needed.
- [47:58]
Cara Brothers
Oh, thank you for saying that. I don't think I even noticed that. But now that you're saying that, you're right. You know, like, I. I know that especially acne, specifically where we live. It was very. You didn't feel great about having to get a prescription from your dermatologist, and you definitely didn't want to, like, share it with your friends and that. So. So that's definitely what Julie and Brian were thinking when they launched it. Absolutely. But even, like now, you know, several years later, there's. I guess there's not a lot of play. Maybe people go to makeup and other things and beauty. We're very unserious. Yeah. Yeah, we are. And, yes, as internally as people, we are kind of a lighthearted bunch, if I'm honest with you, for sure. But we think about that a lot in the language that we use in the imagery. We like to play and have fun, and it can be a challenge, you know, when there are harder things going on around you, maintaining that. But we keep coming back to, you know, we're here to uplift like that. That's our role. We're here to have some fun and just to play. And it has. It does bring a lot of levity and lightness to the day. To day, for sure.
- [49:07]
Jordan
Which I think we all need more of.
- [49:10]
Les
Yeah, yeah. Even if it's just, like, healthy distraction.
- [49:13]
Jordan
From time to time. Exactly.
- [49:14]
Cara Brothers
Even if it's a smiley face on your feed. For sure. Yeah.
- [49:17]
Jordan
Or a smiley face on your.
- [49:18]
Cara Brothers
Yeah.
- [49:18]
Jordan
On your face. Yeah, exactly. Any of it.
- [49:20]
Cara Brothers
Any of it.
- [49:21]
Les
Kara, thank you so much for being here.
- [49:23]
Jordan
Is there anything that you are excited about for this year also? Anything coming up with Starface that we should be on the lookout for?
- [49:30]
Cara Brothers
Yes, I love it. So Starface has a lot coming up and really soon, probably about the time of this, you know, airing, we are launching more, you know, and so just stay tuned for, like, bigger dreams from Starface, bigger bets. I'm so, so, so excited about it. Even the Starbomb, if you haven't tried it, like, it's so luxurious and playful and fun. So there's a lot more flavors, too, which is really sweet. And for me, you know, in my personal life, I just am spreading and spreading the good vibes, you know, wherever I can.
- [50:04]
Jordan
Yeah, we need as many of those as we can get. You. Thank you so much for joining us.
- [50:09]
Cara Brothers
Thanks for having me. This has been great.
- [50:10]
Jordan
Oh, my gosh. This was so good. Thank you. I hope that you enjoyed that conversation with Cara as much as I did. I honestly could have talked to her all day. We just clicked so well, and we had so much fun chatting. Please make sure that you check out.
- [50:24]
Les
The show notes for links to everything.
- [50:26]
Jordan
That we talked about. You can follow Cara, you can follow Starface. You can check out Starface products. You can also make sure that you're subscribed to the show and leave us a rating and a review if you love this episode.
- [50:51]
Cara Brothers
Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.