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- [00:01]
A
The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
- [00:11]
B
Welcome to Balance Black Girl. My name is Les. I'm your host. I appreciate you tuning in and I am excited for today's episode because I have a really special guest who I've actually been really looking forward to talking to for quite some time. I'm joined today by Ms. Trisha Lee, serial entrepreneur, real estate badass. You can also see her on the current Netflix show, Owning Manhattan. Trisha, welcome to Balanced Black Girl.
- [00:35]
C
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.
- [00:37]
B
I am so excited to have you, just because I've been following your journey for a while. I've loved hearing some of the other conversations that you've had on other podcasts. Love seeing you on Owning Manhattan. And I just love sitting down with entrepreneurial people, particularly entrepreneurial black women, because I feel like there are nuances in how we approach things like entrepreneurship and designing our careers and designing our lives. And I love the way that you've designed yours.
- [01:04]
C
I appreciate that. I really do. Because it's very intentional and it's something that you have to work at, like, every day, you know? Absolutely. Yes. I appreciate it. Yeah.
- [01:14]
B
Well, I would love to start from the beginning of your entrepreneurial journey and learning what sparked your interest in entrepreneurship.
- [01:21]
C
It was very young. It was like. And I think it's a part of being what they would call bossy and, you know, and a part of being just like a very free spirit. Like, I've always. My personality is very consistent. Like my babysitter from when I was five years old, she follows me on social and she's like, yep, that's you, That's Trisha. Sounds about right. So I think it was just. I always loved working. I didn't have an issue with working. I always worked really hard. I was always really ambitious. But I did always like the idea of doing it for me. And the flexibility is what I always kind of chase like. I just grew up in a very structured home with my mom and very structured schedule. And very early on in life, I felt like I did not want to do the same thing every single day. I needed to shake it up. And I also wanted to have more control over my schedule. Like, I remember my mom, like, getting home at like, say, 5:15, 5:20 on the dot, and then that schedule for the rest of the night was the same. And then she was, you know, drop off was the same time every day. And I remember her missing certain things and feelings, being like, you know, I have to work, know, work has to come first. So That I can make sure I take the best care of you all. And so those, that, those kinds of lessons, I was like, okay, I can tweak that a little bit. So I don't. I think as a child, I didn't know what I was making up in my head, but I knew I wanted to do great things, but I wanted to be in control of to some aspect of what I did. So it was just a matter of finding where I could fit that in, you know. And I think in my 20s is when I decided I wanted to open my business. And I wanted to go from companies trusting me to run their business to running my own business. I felt like I was ready. And you do that when you're young. You feel like you're always ready. So it was a great time to do it, and I did it.
- [03:01]
B
Definitely. I can relate to so much of what you said about valuing flexibility. That was something that I learned early in my career. The second I set foot into corporate, and it was like, you have to be here at this time. You have to work for this many hours. Even if I'm like, okay, but I'm already done. I finished my work. You don't have anything else for me to do. So I just have to sit here so that it. You have the perception of me working hard. I just always had questions that no one could give me a good answer to.
- [03:27]
C
Yeah. And my experience in corporate was very much. I felt like, as a black woman, I felt I was very limited. I felt like my work drive was appreciated, but not necessarily my contributions, you know. And I also went through a period of working for companies where I felt like I made amazing contributions and suggestions that they used and put completely implemented and just never really, just gave me credit for things, you know, Like I, when I was at Mac, I walked around and I like, you know, I remember like telling like people in the C suites like, oh, we need a Mac store here, we need a Mac store here. And this is the demographic and this is why we'd be successful and those things would actually come to fruition. And anyone that worked with me would be able to tell you that it was. It was never enough to make me consider it to put me in consideration for the other jobs. And I felt like as long as I am here, they have a say in how far I can go and how. And what my cap is. And it angered me, and it angered me so much that it motivated me to just do my own thing.
- [04:28]
B
Can we talk more about how you take that feeling of Being frustrated or angry about something and channel it into motivation. Because I think that's where a lot of people get stuck is they feel maybe upset about something. They're experiencing something that isn't fair or isn't, you know, helping them get where they want to be. How do you then transmute that into something that works for you?
- [04:50]
C
No, I think my disappointment often kind of performs like anger, you know, and so for me, it was just like, are you kidding me? Like, And I don't know, maybe with some people, maybe it's more of a disappointing failure feeling where I think anger can be a good thing. Because I use anger to motivate me to show myself and prove to myself that I can do things. I use anger, honestly as my lick back. I'm just like, okay, you know what conversation is done. I'll show you better than I can ever tell you. And I'm just used to that. I mean, I think like, as a black woman and specifically someone like that has done different careers, I've, I've gone through different eras where like, like now in life, the way that people are in the corporate setting is just so much more appropriate and so much more ethical. But it wasn't always that way. I have been really mistreated as an employee. I have been spoken poorly to. I have, I have shown up for interviews and then I walk in the door and based on what I sound like and what you heard of me versus what I look like, literally had my interview canceled while I'm dressed in my theory suit for my interview. Like, I have come here for this interview that's on everyone's schedule, and I've been told we're not going to interview you today, actually, we're just going to sit down and talk about your performance. And I've had a lot of really just unfair things happen because people are biased. And I think when I was younger, they were able to show their hate in the corporate environment freely. And I would say it in any space. It was allowed and it was permittable, you know, and I worked at that time and I worked through that era. And that does anger you. That angers you. Because you know that really just because of different people's biases, you're not going to ever be considered for certain positions. You know, I've had people that I've trained, you know, surpass me in roles that I've prepared them for. And so for me, it was like, this is what it is and how I fight back. I think I use anger to motivate Me and I. And I think you have just to figure out, like, what can you use in your personality and in your life that motivates you? You know, sometimes it's what you want for yourself. Sometimes it's showing someone else, you know, or others. Like, for me, I just have a certain life that I want. And I feel like if you doubt me, I cannot wait. I cannot wait for you to have to recognize and swallow it and be like, oh, I was wrong. You know, and if that's what motivates you, like, whatever it is, use it to fuel that fire. And I know that when I'm pissed about something or I feel like I've been cheated, that's the best version of Trisha you'll ever get. It's just the best version because she's unstoppable at that point.
- [07:42]
B
I love that.
- [07:43]
C
Yeah, it's like I always say, I grow 10ft tall, you know, and then my nerve, my charisma, my power is just maximized.
- [07:59]
A
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- [11:25]
B
I think something that I really admire about you is that you know how to use your secret sauce. I think everybody has a secret sauce of those things you just mentioned, of our personality, those things that are unique to us. And sometimes it can be hard to know how to use it. Yeah, I feel like I'm still trying to figure out what mine is and how to use it. But in seeing your work, we can see you use it, and it's so inspiring. What helped you be able to tap into that?
- [11:49]
C
You know, I think at a certain point in your life, specifically with women, you have to just set yourself free, you know what I mean? And be okay with how people view you, them not being the most fond of you. Like, you just have to set yourself free and I remember like so long ago, I would say five or six years ago, this woman that I've known since I've lived in New York, actually, she used to be my neighbor. She's just like this amazing individual. Tanisha Barnes. Shout out. Tanisha Barnes. And I remember her asking me like this was like five or eight years ago, I don't even remember. And she was just like, trisha Lee, like, I just want to do an interview with you and just ask you, like, what is it like to be such a free woman? And I was like, what do you mean? You know, and that it was like literally after she said that, I kept thinking, I know what she means. And I do. I do think you have to get to a point where you self set yourself free. And it's not like I don't care, but it's like, I know I'm focused, I get it. And it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. And so I think that what people perceive about me is specifically that. And I call that my power, you know, And I do use it how I need to. There are times I need to use it to walk into a room and feel big enough, important enough, you know, powerful enough. There are times I use it to soften a situation too. You know, There are times I use it to be the wisdom in the room, the guidance in the room, the clear head, you know, whatever it is, I think it's just one kind of taking others down and not keeping them on this pedestal. That's just not real that you've put in your mind. Like we're all here trying to figure it out. And there are some of us that have it figured out a little bit better in this lane, but we suck in this lane. Or we're like, we're really, really good over here, but over here we struggle. So in the areas that you know that you're strong, like find a power there, like find confidence there and give, just let it go a little bit. Like I think that for me, I just got to a point in my life where I was just like, oh, whatever, you know, I mean, I'm bad and I don't care what you think. I know what it is. And you know what? Maybe one day you'll get it, maybe one day you won't, but I don't care. Like I'm doing me and I. It allows me to kind of like feel a little bit more free to show my personality, show my sense of humor, to show, you know, even like my quirks and like the things I'M really particular about. I will go insane over symmetry. Like, I mean, you'll just, like, leave her there. She's. She's gone. We won't see her for a while. So it's like, all the things about my personality, I accept I'm okay with it, and I'm also comfortable sharing it. I wouldn't be on a show if I wasn't, because I think there's a lot of just getting over yourself that needs to happen with us and being like, okay, you know, it's fine. And appreciating the differences. Like, I know that I'm very different. Like, I come across very, like, pulled together or whatever it is. And then you realize I'm actually quite funny, and I'm actually quite, you know, particular about certain things. And you know that, like, these are my quirks. I'm very, like. I'm also, like, very domestic. I love being at home. I love cooking. I love decorating, all these different things. But I feel that we're all so interesting. I've never sat down with anyone that I was like, wow. You know, I mean, like, even at work, like, I go and I talk to these brokers, and I'm like, damn, you're gonna have a conversation with anybody. I'm just kind of, like, floored, you know? And I feel like everyone's really interesting, and I feel like everyone's amazing in different ways. You just have to figure out what ways they are. So we're all even to me. You know what I mean? And it's like, if you're Ryan, if you're whoever, we're all the same. Like, we all struggle. We all are really strong in different areas. And so part of it is just, like, lifting yourself up and kind of bringing everybody else down. We're all here and just set yourself free. And a lot of that stuff is in our minds. And so I read a lot about having a healthy mindset and having really mental toughness, because so much of what we are all dealing with, we have also all created, and half of it's not real, right? So to me, there are times I just have to remind myself of who the fuck I am and walk into the room and know that, you know? And I think naturally, everyone else just figures it out, because you come in here like you're who you are. It's just like, yeah, yeah. And I think it's important, and I don't think that we have to apologize for that, you know? I don't think we should be made to apologize for it. There are people that are not, like, keen on it, and I pick that up all the time. Do I have a little sickness to enjoy their discomfort? Yeah, absolutely. I look forward. I look forward to it. You know what I mean? Because I do think that when a confident woman comes across your path, how you respond to a confident woman says a lot about yourself. I gravitate towards people that are okay with me feeling good about me and me loving myself and me, you know, being big on me. It's important to pay attention to people that are, you know, perturbed by that, though, also, you know, because it says a lot about that individual. And just naturally we won't gravitate towards each other, like, but you won't like me, I won't like you. It's fine. But I do pay attention to that because what does it say about you that when a woman like myself that's hardworking, accomplished, straightforward, and very dynamic, like, I can say those things. I don't need someone to tell me those things. Like, I always tell people, I'm like, I've been me all my whole life. I know, but what does it say about someone when they're uncomfortable in that. When. In. When faced with that person? Like, it says a lot about that individual. And at that point, I assess that, and you're not even there, you know, so it's okay that people are uncomfortable with it, but I say that more women need to walk tall with their confidence and allow people to be uncomfortable with it. And I think that selfishly, maybe I'm just trying to be that example so that more people are like, hell, yeah, you know what? You know, and if it helps, great, but, you know, I need it, so I do it. That's kind of where it comes from. It's a selfish need that I'm filling. And I do. I do find that women gravitate towards it, and a lot of men gravitate towards it. And I've also had men that are like, no, that's not my thing. Or you. You must be like, I had a guy say the other day, you must be single. And I was like, I'm very much attached and very much in demand. I don't know what you're talking about, you know, but it's interesting to pay attention to those personalities that are like, wow, you know, you're all in love with your self. I don't like that. Okay. Yeah, that's an interesting observation. You know, and there are just people that are going to be that way. But when you're doing the work to love yourself and care for yourself. And when they talk about self care, I really take care of myself. I'm really good to myself and I try to love on myself and set that example for my partner, for my friends, for my family to see how I care for me. When you're doing that work, you're proud of it and that's what you're seeing that comes out, you know, because it took a long time to figure out how to prioritize myself. And I'm proud of it and I want to be an example of that. Like, I think it's, I think more women need to do that. Like, I think we're just conditioned to meet everyone else's needs of us and then ours with whatever is left. It's such a broken system.
- [18:36]
B
It is, it is. And I think it's designed to benefit everyone but us.
- [18:40]
C
Yeah.
- [18:41]
B
In a lot of ways to be.
- [18:42]
C
Proud of how exhausted we are for pleasing everybody. You know, it's like so sick. So, no, I just, I don't subscribe to it at all. And I just, I've been very fortunate that my mom can appreciate it, my sister can appreciate it. My, you know, my, my partner's mom loves it. You know, I remember the best conversation we ever had. She was like, trisha, you know, I always thought for all these years you didn't like us. This is Jeff's mom. And she's like, I just thought you didn't like me. She's like, but then I realized you really like yourself. She's like, you know, it's, it took me, she said, it's taken me 80 years to get to a point where I put myself first. I love to see that you have figured that out at your age.
- [19:16]
B
Yeah.
- [19:17]
C
You know, and this is a woman that I was like, oh, I think we have a little conflict. And she was like, no, girl, you don't hate me. You just really love you. And I'm like, that's it. You know, and I, and, and to know that she's done the work to where she can appreciate that and is not offended by my admiration of who I am and what I've created and who I, what I've built, it's like, it's great to see that at her age that she's breaking those shackles as well. And she's, you know, she explained, she's like, in my era, it wasn't about that. I love to see you so free. You know, this is an 82 year old woman, or maybe she's 78. I know. She says she's 80. This is a 65 year old woman, you know what I'm saying?
- [19:54]
B
But that's also such a beautiful testament to her credit that we can grow at any time.
- [20:00]
C
Exactly.
- [20:00]
B
We can recognize patterns that don't need to continue at any time.
- [20:05]
C
Yes. And she's like, you know, I am where you are in your life, Tricia. I have just arrived there. I'm so proud to see you've discovered it earlier, you know, and I think that if there's a movement I'm gonna get behind, it's that movement. I know that, you know, because like, we're here and I feel, I always say this with my friends, like, we're talking about our parents. I'm like, they did their thing. And quite frankly, like, my parents grew up like they were living their, like, young adult lives in the 70s. You're not gonna tell me they didn't do their thing. I want to do my thing too. I want to enjoy my life and create great experiences. Love on my people, love on myself, you know, selfishly be absorbed with me, you know, and my happiness and my joy. And that doesn't mean there's not space to love and appreciate and work hard and do for and care about others. It just means that I am number one, you know, and I'm so proud of it. I'm so proud of it. I want to drag everyone else along.
- [20:56]
B
Yes, we must. It's something that I think about a lot too. And actually the other day I was doing a live on TikTok and the topic came up and someone asked me about this, this very thing when it comes to being a woman, putting yourself first, not putting yourself last. And someone was like, well, have you ever struggled with that? And I thought, no, actually I haven't. I always have. And I think part of that is in some ways privilege, but also part of that is I remember seeing women in my family from a very young age be run into the ground and have health issues and be so stressed out and being like, you know, I. I don't think I want to feel.
- [21:31]
C
Like, yeah, same for me, you know, I feel like a lot of the examples I saw were definitely putting the men first and, you know, the kids, the kids. And the men are the men and the kids. And I was like, you're third. Like, oh, God, that's like, that's a.
- [21:45]
B
Lot, you know, and then who's putting them first? Because the men's usually not putting them first.
- [21:48]
C
Kids aren't putting them, you know, and then, you know, you. You dedicate your life to your marriage, and that's great, or your partnership and your kids, and that's wonderful. And then 18 or 20 years goes by, and then they're gone. And then you've been taking care of the man, and we outlive them, and then you're left not knowing or not understanding who you are. And I just think that that was that time, and, you know, and I. I observed that, and I was like, I. I just don't want that. You know, I remember a conversation with my mom that was just so telling. It wasn't very long ago, either. It was like seven or eight years ago. And I was. I, like, kind of snuck in town to visit her, and it was like a surprise. And then my sister and I were like, okay, where do you want to go, Mom? Like, what's your favorite kind of food? And we shouldn't have to ask that, but we did. And she was just like, oh, wherever you guys want to go. And I was like, no, like, where do you want to go? Like, tell me your favorite. Your. What's your favorite dish? Or what's your favorite food? And she was like, you know, I really don't know. I guess my whole life was always about whatever you guys wanted. I don't really. I was like. It made me so sad. I was like, you don't know what your favorite things are. You don't know, like, what your favorite restaurant is. Like, Prince Scottsdale. You can go anywhere.
- [22:50]
B
Yeah.
- [22:51]
C
You know? And she's like, you know, I guess no one really asks me that. And I was like, well, I'm going to ask you that every time I'm here. Like, you know, and I need you to figure out what your favorite things are. Like, where. Where are the places that you love that make you happ, you know? And I. And I know that she's a reflection of her time, but that just fuels everything in me to be so free as well, you know? And I feel like I almost have to honor her with that. And I say this all the time. I'm like, the way I exist in the world is. Is just out of respect for all the sacrifices that she made.
- [23:20]
A
Yeah.
- [23:20]
C
You know, and she gets it. She knows it. Like, when I talk my little shit, she's like, that's mine.
- [23:24]
A
Yes.
- [23:25]
C
That one there. That's mine. Exactly. And I've always been this way. I was like this in high school. I was always like this. And I think that maybe there's some freedom that she gets to live through me, you know, But I always knew that she had such great qualities, but she wasn't free, you know. And so I'm like, I want to be free. I definitely want to be free. And I feel free now. And it doesn't mean you're not responsible. It doesn't mean you're not on deadline all the time. It doesn't mean you don't, you know, I work my ass off, but I feel free in the choices that I make. I feel free in what I say yes to, what I say no to. I feel free to quit anything, anytime, anywhere when I'm ready because it doesn't serve me, it doesn't feel good. And, you know, I also feel free to stay in things because I know it will develop me and grow me in the way that I desire to grow. Not what anybody else sees for me, but what I want for myself.
- [24:24]
A
Do you ever feel like skincare is all about playing catch up? We stress, face pollution, eat the occasional sugary treat, and sometimes our skin pays the price. That silent toll is called inflammation. The slow, behind the scenes inflammation that breaks down collagen and elastin, making skin less resilient over time. And it starts earlier than you think, creeping in around our mid to late 20s. But Dende is here to change the game. It's the first bio based skincare line specifically designed to tackle inflammation at its core. And what makes it different is Dende's unique ingredient, naringen, which is proven to combat inflammation 15 times more effectively than niacinamide. So this isn't just another step in your routine, it's a proactive way to protect and sustain your skin's natural beauty. I started incorporating Dende skin serum in my morning routine a few months ago and I've noticed such a difference in my skin. It feels more even more glowy, it's smoother. And it has been such a wonderful addition. With Dende, you're not just moisturizing or smoothing, you're preserving your skin's elasticity, tone and texture. It's clinically proven to reduce fine lines and keep your skin glowing long term. Dende is offering 20% off this black Friday, but balanced Black Girl listeners can get 25% off@dende.com that's D E I N D E.com using the code balanceless for 25% off from November 22nd until December 3rd. It feels like life has been non stop lately. With deadlines, holiday prep and everything in between, taking care of ourselves can easily slip to the bottom of the list. But taking care of our hair is one of those things that always makes you feel good. And Nutraful is a small change that can make a big difference. Nutraful is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over a million people. Whether you're dealing with shedding or you just want thicker, stronger hair, Nutraful has you covered. I've been using as part of my routine all year and let's just say my hair is thriving. The results speak for themselves. In a clinical study, 86% of women saw improved hair growth after six months on Nutrafol Women's hair growth supplement. Now, since I started taking Nutrafol at the beginning of the year, I've said goodbye to hair breakage and shedding. And I've had a bit of a hair glow up this year. What I love about Nutraful is how easy it is to stick to. With automated deliveries and free shipping, you never have to worry about missing a dose. Plus, a subscription comes with perks. You'll SA up to 20%. You'll get access to free naturopathic doctor consults and even a headspace membership to help you manage stress, which, let's be real, we all need. So if you're ready for healthier hair, Nutra is offering my listeners $10 off your first month subscription, plus free shipping. Just go to nutraful.com and use promo code balanced less. That's N T R a f o l.com promo code balance less. Find out why over 4,500 healthcare professionals and stylists recommend Neutrophil for healthier hair.
- [27:47]
B
Can we talk about the distinction there? Because I think sometimes that can be tricky for people is knowing when to walk away from something because maybe it's not serving you versus knowing when to stay in something where there's some discomfort. But you know, it's for the long term, good for yourself.
- [28:02]
C
I have understood that for a long time. Like I remember, I would say 15 years ago, being like, I'm not about chaotic challenges. Nothing comes out of it for me when it's chaos and I've got to find my way. You can have that. That's all yours.
- [28:17]
B
Yeah.
- [28:18]
C
Good night. You know, now I am about growth challenges.
- [28:23]
B
Yes.
- [28:23]
C
You know, and I'm always looking at my personality, my schedule, my family life, my work life, and trying to figure out where I have voids. And a lot of the decisions I make are based on, oh, I have a void here. I really need to develop this area. So if I'm changing Firms or changing structures or, you know, creating new traditions within my home. It's because, oh, this is a void that I really want to fill in my life. Chaos. This challenge is a different type of challenge. And so the way I assess it is if it's a chaotic challenge, it can't grow me. It's just mess. And you're trying to prove to yourself how well you can do with this burden. I tricially don't feel the need to prove that to myself or anyone else, because I've had that in every area of my life and I know what that is. If it's going to grow me, then strap it on. I'm good. Like, I put it on my shoulders because if it's going to develop me in a personal way, in a professional way, in a spiritual way, in a physical way, then I'm okay with that. So that's the way I assess it is what is the challenge Like? I've been in work environments where I'm like, this is just chaos. This literally is just about seeing how bad you can actually perform. Like, how bad it can be. And you still perform. No, no. And that is a time, there's a time where you need that because you need to develop that in yourself. But that's a time that I'm beyond. I've done that. I'm not willing to do that at this point in my life. And the difference between that is that, you know, I've worked in different environments. I've, I've proven myself. You name it, I've done it. And so I'm looking for the kind of challenges that are going to really develop me as a human being, as a professional, as a stepmom, as a sister, as a daughter, you know, not as how bad can you take it? You know, And I think that sometimes we get lost in perseverance, and that's some shit I don't want nothing to do with. You can have perseverance. That's all you. I, I'm good, you know, so it just, just, it's not needed. I remember opening a business on Vanderbilt in Prospect Heights, and my, my neighbor on Myrtle was like, come and be a, a neighbor in Prospect Heights. I was like, oh, bet, definitely. And he opens his business, I open my business. We're next door to each other in Clinton Hill. We're next to each, next door to each other in Prospect Heights. His business model, although very successful in Clinton Hill, was not working in Prospect Heights. Six months he was gone. I opened in Vanderbilt, in Prospect Heights, in Brooklyn. And due to Barclays being delayed for years, my business is struggling. I'm going to persevere. Watch this. For seven years, I persevered. And Ahmed, you know, rest in peace. Ahmed was like, you know, closed that baby down in six months, completely restructured the restaurant. I think it went from Middle Eastern to Mexican. I believe that restaurant, sister, today is always packed. I ate there two weeks ago. He didn't take it personal. Yeah, this isn't working.
- [31:35]
B
Yeah, I'm done. Fail fast and move on out of here, you know?
- [31:39]
C
And I thought, oh, my God, that's the difference. Here I am trying to prove myself. And he was like, I got to make some money, right? Let's. Let's change those, you know, like, take the paint down, you know? And he just recreated a whole new restaurant model in weeks time and reopened and kept it moving. And I was like, okay, that's another business lesson. Like, that is another business lesson. But that's getting wrapped up in perseverance, you know, and that's what I used to do, and I'm just not there anymore. So when people hear me say, I'll quit anything, it's. It's like, yeah, because that's where I'm here. That's where I'm at now. I will. And it's not threatening. It's just. That's just who I am.
- [32:19]
B
Absolutely.
- [32:19]
C
You know?
- [32:20]
B
Yeah.
- [32:20]
C
And maybe that's what you need to be, too. Like, if it's not serving you, it's not growing you, maybe it doesn't need to be there. But also, you have to work to a point in your life where you have those freedoms. Right. And it's like, I have worked to a point in my life where I do have a say. And that's important. Important too, because I think that some people feel that you just get that freedom. I had to work for this freedom, and I think a lot of people have to work for this freedom. So if I express it and I demonstrate it now, understand, I built myself to this point, and I work myself to this point. So I will, you know, say no to certain opportunities, a lot of opportunities, because they're not a good fit for me. But I don't fear that There are a lot of other. More opportunities. That's the thing, too. It's like this. I gotta take this. I don't have to take this. Something better is going to come along.
- [33:01]
B
Yeah.
- [33:01]
C
If you believe that, then you're not always trying to negotiate your worth. So it's a lot of. It's a Lot of deep work that needs to happen to understand, you know, how you want to navigate things. But for me, it's like I'm not out here to prove anything anymore. You know, I was and I did, but I'm not now. Yeah, now I want to just do me.
- [33:24]
B
You can't prove yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you and not valuing your worth to begin with. There's nothing you can do to prove yourself in those instances where people are committed to not seeing it.
- [33:36]
C
At best, you can get used. At best. Yeah. You know, and we all know what that. Well, I know what that feels like, but I think it's really important to understand, like, what drives you and where you feel like biggest and boldest because that's where the good work is going to come in, you know, Like, a lot of the work that I'm really proud of is the work that I did in the best environments where I was supported and heard and listened to and seen, you know, even if I didn't create those environments for myself.
- [34:03]
A
Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I would love to talk a.
- [34:07]
B
Bit more about your transitions in business as well. I love that you just used the example of that, that location that you opened and deciding when things work and when things don't. Because people may or may not know that you previously had a nail business, a beauty business, where you had nail shops that you had owned around Brooklyn. I'd love to talk more about that experience, what owning those businesses taught you and how that kind of led to your pivot to real estate.
- [34:34]
C
Yeah, I mean, that was really probably one of the bigger professional successes of my life and also one of the bigger professional failures as well, and all, like, necessary, you know, but the, the lessons I learned at that time were that if I love something, there's just never enough hours in the day. And if I, I am over something, what am I doing here, you know? But a lot of running my own business, for me, I think is what has built my confidence, because entrepreneurism is a thing, man. It is. It's gonna, it's gonna make you deal with, with a lot of your quirks. It's gonna make you deal with a lot of your habits. It's gonna make you deal with you, you know, in so many ways because it can be so isolating. And you have to figure out your own motivation on a day to day basis, on an hourly basis. You have to figure out how to manage yourself, how to discipline yourself. So it was a great opportunity for me to do it. And I think the positive things that came out of it was that I learned my connection to women. I learned that I naturally enjoyed and was really good at marketing. I also learned that I have a sense of community in Brooklyn, and I feel like the community wraps itself around me. And I feel that I'm very lucky to have had that experience, especially someplace where I didn't necessarily grow up and I don't really have roots, you know, I've always felt held up by my community in a lot of ways. I think some of the things that I learned from the failures were perseverance is nonsense, you know, in a lot of environments. And that failing fast should be the goal. So paying attention to when things aren't working. I wish I knew that then. I also think that growing too soon was a challenge for me. Like, I was trying to keep up with the demand, and I think I was just so afraid because I didn't want people to feel like they couldn't rely on us, like, I wasn't dependable. And because the business, like, couldn't meet the demand, I was like, oh, I just open another one. And I didn't think about what that would cost me personally, you know? So I learned a lot. I went through a lot. I did a lot. I had some crazy experiences, you know, Like, I remember being in my store one day, and, like, I was on the sign that was on the, like, street, like, on the flag. I was on the bus as it went by. And then as you walked through the train, I was on the train on the, like, like, the train wall, like, as an advertisement. I was like, this is insane. You know, like, I've had some really great experiences, like, but like, anything, you know, it's like, after a certain time, I was like, I really wanted to do more. And so much of my business was impacted by real estate and the shifts in the neighborhood and gentrification and just overall real estate appreciation really paid attention to business owners that own their buildings and how they fared. So it was kind of just like, drumming up in me. And so the transition was more natural than you would imagine. Like, once you're running a storefront, you're kind of in the real estate space. You know, you have a commercial lease. You're responsible for a building. I was responsible for the sidewalk. I. You know, it was all of those things. So it became a real estate relationship, and then it just inspired me to be more curious about real estate as a whole. I already owned my home. I grew up in a family where real estate was important. Ownership was Important credit was important. You know, accomplishing your life in your American dream was important. You know, my family came here from Jamaica 80 years ago to do just that. So the least I can do is lift my out loud. The very least. And I think that's where a lot of it comes from, too. It's like, you know, I owe this to a whole lot of people that sacrificed for me to be here, to be able to do these things and stand tall and talk whatever I talk. But I think that I also feel that with that business, I learned I can. Could pretty much do whatever I want if I create it. And it's really strong, and I have a good business model, and there's a need for it. So I didn't feel limited by my business. Like, I felt like it made me curious to do more things. And I still have that curiosity, you know, like, if I could get two weeks off, I'd love to open a yogurt shop. You know, I feel like we can do so many great things. And so when I see people that are, like, serial entrepreneurs and they have so many businesses, I'm like, oh, yeah, I totally. It totally makes sense. The thing with me is real estate can be so absorbing because it's like. Like I've been fortunate enough to not necessarily have a cap and, you know, to feel like I can. I mean, at times, I've had more than 20 clients at a time, so I do spend a lot of time on real estate, but I don't feel limited by it in the way that I think you do when your entire day is dedicated to, like, one particular particular job. Like, my job in real estate is negotiations. It's marketing. It's people meeting and, you know, interacting with people. It's networking. It. You know, it's being on camera. It's like there's 12 different facets to what I do, and I like that. And I feel very free with that because then I can kind of, like, throw my energy in different ways and utilize my different skill sets. So I say that to say, like, both careers have been really good for me because as I've grown as a person and become more dynamic, my career has also become more dynamic. You know, like, even adding television to this career has been absolutely.
- [39:52]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [39:59]
A
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- [43:27]
B
How has that been since the show came out? How has that impacted how you navigate work now?
- [43:35]
C
You know, it's interesting, like I didn't really know what to expect, obviously. Like, this is not my background, but, but I've had a positive, you know, experience thus far. I feel that a lot of, like I said, a lot of women connected to me and I, I feel that. I feel it's like a big hug. I love it. Yeah. It's interesting to now be promoting what I do and who I am. Right. It's like these two different things. But it's just been wild in so many ways. Some of the experiences have been really strange, you know, like, it's just been crazy. But I'm excited about what's to come and I, I do feel the need to take this opportunity and to do the most with it. I don't have an excuse not to propel my business. I don't have an excuse not to propel my brand. I don't have an excuse to not pursue all of my little dreams too. So it's kind of like a flashlight on, on things because it's like, okay, what are you going to do with this? You know, so that's where I'm at now is figuring out the things I want to pursue now versus later. But I feel like the opportunities are limitless and that's been exciting. It's also been really great for people to like write to me and reach out to me with just how inspired they are. You know, there's this weird thing I have where no matter where I'm at, if you're a black girl, like working in a service or retail space between the age of like 18 to 28, you know who I am. It's so weird. I love it and it's so weird, but it's really beautiful and it actually makes me very emotional because I remember that stage of my life and I really wish I had someone to look to to say, you will and you can.
- [45:17]
B
Exactly.
- [45:18]
C
And if I can be that, like, that is. That's kind of a great life gift. Right. So I've really enjoyed that. But it's just interesting. Like, I'll be like, you know, at Aloe or Zara or just, you know, I'm always in a Sephora. And, you know, they're like, you're. You're Trisha, you know, and then it ends up being like a little pep talk or whatever. But I want girls to know, like, I was behind the counter, like, pushing foundations and concealers.
- [45:39]
B
Just like you worked at Mac.
- [45:41]
C
Yeah, I wish I would have worked at Sephora. They didn't have Sephora at that time. But I. I could work at Sephora today, I'll tell you that, because I know every product and every ingredient. But I worked at Mac, you know, I always work behind the counter in beauty. And, you know, I didn't have examples like that coming into my store to think to who I could work to be. And I see that, like, little shimmer in their eyes. It's really special. And I get really emotional. I have to, like, pull myself together. Like, I have the interaction and I'm like, girl, like you, you know, you can do it, like, be of value here, be irreplaceable here, give so much value here that you break out of here, you know, Like, I work in real estate the way I worked at Ma. Like, you did not. There's no one that's worked with me. I don't care where I worked. That's not going to be like, oh, she's about her business, that one. Oh, yeah. It could be a fundraising effort. They're like, oh, this one here, you know, And I always tell girls that I'm like, listen, if you want to really know what the truth is, is just do work that you're proud of wherever you are, you know, and it's like, if I'm at a gas station pumping gas this afternoon, everyone's going to be in line waiting for me, you know, that's the work pride you need to have. And I love the opportunities to speak to what I consider to be the younger Trisha Lee's, because I didn't have that. You know, I did. I never had that. I wish I did. And I've gone through a lot of my careers without mentorship. I'm lucky enough to have that now, but I didn't have it for a long time. So if I am viewed as a mentor, it's an honor. It's a privilege. I take it seriously. And there's no greater responsibility that I'd rather have on my shoulders than that responsibility, because it also is healing a part of me because I know what it's like to feel like I can do so much more than what I'm doing now. And the truth is, you can. But you've got to come up with a plan. You've got to be great. Everywhere you are today, you have to be invaluable. Where you are today, you have to take ownership of where you are today. Like, those are the habits and practices that you put into place at 18 and 19 and 20 that then you see as you move in your life, how it. How it activates your life and how it activates your presence and your role, you know, and people know and they feel. They can't deny it.
- [47:50]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [47:50]
C
Lucky enough that, like, this generation is in a space where it's not as biased of an environment. You know, people are more, I would say, open, liberal, you know, tolerant, appropriate, you know, and it's always. It's never going to be the same for us. It's far better than when I worked. It's far better than when I was working. You know, I just had people that strictly hated me just because I was a black woman. And so I have to work from that space to prove who I am. That's. That's a lot. That's a lot to deal with. And also know that no one else in the room, the space, the company or the office has to deal with that. But you've got to show up and do that every day. It's like it weighs on you. It weighs on you. Not that we don't still deal with that every day. You know, I deal with that in my work often, but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be.
- [48:41]
B
Yeah, Yeah. I love that you touched on those habits of things that we can do in our careers and lives from where we are right now, because those are things that compound over time of. Even if you're in a job that you hate or that you don't like, what. What can you take from it? What are the skills? What is it teaching you that you can apply to the next thing? I think sometimes people feel really discouraged if they're in a place in their career, in their life that they don't feel satisfied by in this moment. They feel like it's going to be that way forever. And understanding that it's not. And that there's something that you can take from every experience to prepare you for the next one has been one of my hardest but most valuable lessons for sure.
- [49:23]
C
It's so important, you know, it's just, it's so important because every experience is valuable. Like every job is valuable. Like I, I am in awe at the things I've learned along my professional course that allow me to shine and to perform today, you know, but it's because I always cared about what I was doing and how I was doing it. And I think it's just so important. Like everyone's been in a dead end job. Everyone's been in a job that they don't love or a job that changes and they don't feel like they fit into anymore. But it's so important to be your own brand ambassador. Like I, you know, a friend of mine was like, you started building your brand when you first moved to New York. And that's how I feel. Like when I was working for someone else, I was still building my brand. And those are the same people that I'm connected to today on LinkedIn. And if you were to ask any of them about me, they would be like, this makes sense for her because she always was this. You don't decide to be great when you are, have your own business. You decide to be great because you're great, you know, And I would be great at flipping fries, I'd be great at making pizzas, I'd be great at washing, I'd be great at everything. If I'm cooking you dinner tonight, I'm going to be great at that. Because it's important to me to create beautiful work. It's important to me to do well with the things I do, no matter what those things are, you know, And I think that that's what more of us need to consider. It's not about where you are, it's about what you do and how you do it. That's it. And I've always taken great work pride in what I do and my careers have changed, but I'm still that same person, you know, even when I don't love it, I've still been like, it needs to be meticulous though, tighten that up like, let's do, you know, like whatever it is, it's just, I, I just can't represent myself that way. You know what I mean? I don't want to represent myself that way. And I think that no matter what you're doing, there are parts of my job that I don't love. But I'm still going to apply myself in those areas of my job, because I owe my. That you owe yourself to be invaluable in any environment where you work. You owe yourself that. You should leave that position. And people be like, well, now what are we going to do? She's gone. You know?
- [51:33]
A
Yeah.
- [51:34]
C
I think it's just so important, and I think that's the way you fight back. I think that's the way you. You grow out of a job. That's the way you're considered for promotions. That's the way you leave your mark. And that is important. That's. That's what. What's really, really important. Not where you are, but who you are. You know, like, if you're a boss, then be a boss. Be a badass boss that comes in here. You know everything. You know where everything goes. You have a plan, and when you're not here, everyone's lost. Be that wherever. You know, that's what I say to anybody.
- [52:05]
B
It's. I love what you say about not playing fair.
- [52:08]
A
Is it Tealy?
- [52:08]
B
Don't play fairly fair.
- [52:11]
C
You know, I. I love that hashtag. So I had. There was a someone on Instagram and their name was like, john ain't playing fair. And I was like, I love that. I was like, I'm T. Lee. I'm not playing fair either. And my meaning for it is you should do so well. And it is what that you do that people just automatically think you're fucking cheating. She gotta be cheating. What does she. What's her. What's her advantage? Like, who does she know who gave her the notes? Like, that's always the goal. And not that that always happens, but the goal always is. Is that you're so amazing. You must be cheating. What? What is it? Tell us. You know, and that's what it is. And I. I use that hashtag and I've used it forever just because I'm like. And another one. Yeah. Like, if I'm DJ Khaled, that's my. If I'm DJ Khalid Khaled, I'm literally like. And another one, and another one. Because one. You need to see yourself that way and hype yourself that way, right? Absolutely. And number two, it's like, like, yeah, she can't be playing fair. Look at her. She keeps winning. Yep, she's cheating. You know, and sometimes it's for me. Yeah, it's just for me to feel that and remind myself of that, you know, So I giggle that things are put out there in the world, but really they're for me. Right. Because we. We're the ones in the mirror in the morning with the affirmations, building ourselves up to fight another day.
- [53:34]
B
Exactly.
- [53:35]
C
And to power through our days and. Yeah, like, I ain't playing fair or you're not gonna think so. At least, you know, I think everyone should use that hashtag.
- [53:44]
B
I love it. I love it.
- [53:46]
C
I do.
- [53:46]
B
Absolutely. It's something I find myself repeating to myself.
- [53:49]
C
It's yours. You know, she can't be playing fair. I think it's important and, you know, and that I want that to trickle off into how I live my life, the experiences I create for myself, for my family, you know, how I do things. You know, it's not just a birthday party. It's a birthday party that I planned. It's not just a cake. It's a cake that I baked. You know, it's just not a marketing plan. It's a marketing plan that I put together. And it's not fair. It's so damn good.
- [54:18]
B
I love that so much.
- [54:20]
C
I need it. I think we all need it, you know?
- [54:22]
B
Absolutely. Absolutely. Trisha, this was amazing. Thank you so much for joining me today. I feel like you taught us just a masterclass in believing in ourselves and carrying out a vision for our own lives. And I think I needed this conversation probably more than anybody, and so I'm happy to share it. But to what we were just saying, I'm like, oh, I needed this. This is. This is so helpful.
- [54:46]
C
I love it. I hope you feel taller.
- [54:47]
B
I do. I do. Please let our audience know where they can find you, where they can keep in touch with you.
- [54:53]
C
So I am trishaleigh.com a T R I C I a L E E dot com. And then I'm on socials. I'm love Trisha Lee everywhere. L O V E Trisha Lee. You know, that's where my wear my little love necklace. I've had this for I don't know how many years now. Like, five years. I have the word love tattooed all over my body, like, literally on my fingers. The closest place here, right there. So love Trisha Lee everywhere. I'm a broker at Sirhant. I run the team. Trisha Lee. And you can usually find me at Sephora on my days off. I love it.
- [55:24]
B
I'll probably run into you there sometime because I'm there a little too much.
- [55:27]
C
Always in there. Yeah. Yeah. So that's. That's where you can find me.
- [55:32]
A
Amazing.
- [55:32]
B
Thank you so much for joining me.
- [55:34]
C
This has been great.
- [55:35]
A
Yay.
- [55:36]
B
And thank you all so much. For tuning in. So if you enjoyed this episode, please make sure that you leave us a five star review on Apple on Spotify. Make sure you're subscribed there so that you don't miss an episode. We drop new episodes every Tuesday, so make sure you're subscribed. Tune in, share with a friend. Thank you again and I will see you next week.
- [56:15]
C
Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.