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How To Feel Content When You Don't Have What You Want Yet

She's So Lucky

Tue Dec 09 2025

Summary

Podcast Summary: She’s So Lucky – “How To Feel Content When You Don’t Have What You Want Yet”

Host: Les Alfred
Release Date: December 9, 2025

Episode Overview

In this deeply personal solo episode, host Les Alfred dives into her own journey with contentment, focusing on how she cultivated an inner sense of peace and self-assurance—despite not yet having achieved certain long-held goals and desires. Drawing from her experiences transitioning from a corporate background to full-time entrepreneurship and self-development, Les candidly shares tangible practices, mindset shifts, and the importance of redefining what “having it all” really feels like. The episode is both vulnerable and practical, aiming to inspire listeners to find gratitude and fulfillment right where they are.

Key Themes & Discussion Points

1. Personal Evolution: From “Balanced” Hustler to Grounded Entrepreneur

[00:13–06:46]

Les reflects on her journey over the past two years, including leaving her corporate job at the end of 2023 and rebranding her podcast.
The launch of a video component in 2023 prompted a visible and internal shift: “Me being on camera where people can see me every week… now becomes a big part of the job in the way that it wasn't before.” – Les [03:21]
Early self-care often came from a place of boosting efficiency and output, rather than genuine self-nourishment.
Therapy in early 2024 was transformative, allowing Les to work on blocks and fears—not just in crisis, but for maintenance: “I’d never gone to therapy just for maintenance and to work on more things under the hood.” – Les [04:33]
Moving from LA to New York and adopting full-time entrepreneurship further catalyzed inner change.

2. Navigating Triggers, Growth, and Self-Sabotage

[06:46–09:39]

Despite achieving several milestones, Les encountered unexpected waves of self-doubt, fear, and personal/professional triggers in early 2025.
Vulnerable admission: “I thought I was further along than I am. I thought that my business was more solid than it was. Could the rug be pulled out from underneath me at any time?” – Les [08:19]
The external “wins” coincided with deep periods of anxiety and questioning.

3. Reflection and Reset: The Power of Routine and Accountability

[15:22–21:01]

A busy summer of travel (June–July) provided space for reflection, culminating in a powerful weeklong trip to Portugal with her friend Christina.
Together, they set intentions to call in new manifestations by the end of August, rededicating themselves to:
- Journaling and meditation
- Affirmations and mirror work
- EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) tapping
- Gratitude and forgiveness practices
- Consistent beauty and self-care routines

“When I tell you, even though it’s so simple… it has been such a transformative experience.” – Les [16:53]

Les describes profound and immediate energy shifts once she implemented these small, daily reminders and practices.

4. Embracing Main Character Energy & Authenticity

[21:01–28:28]

Les discusses finally celebrating herself, fully embracing her “Leo energy,” and throwing her first big birthday party in years—even without milestone achievements:

“One of the resounding feelings… was, I lack absolutely nothing. That’s just what I kept saying to myself… I have everything I ever wanted. I lack nothing.” – Les [27:20]

She’s learned to detach her sense of worth from external milestones (bigger apartment, romantic partnership, financial markers), focusing instead on the peace found in the everyday.
The shift is not about lowering ambitions, but anchoring in self-assurance:

“It feels less like I’m trying to grasp something and is more of being fully myself and really embodying who I truly am.” – Les [27:57]

5. How Life Feels vs. How Life Looks

[33:16–36:50]

A reminder that external success doesn’t always equal happiness. The flashiest months can be the hardest beneath the surface.
Quote: “How your life feels is so much more important than how it looks… you are the only one living your life.” – Les [34:51]

6. The “Manifest It” List: Daily Practices for Contentment

[36:50–41:10]

Les shares her non-negotiable daily habits:

Movement: Some form of exercise.
Best Case Scenario Journaling: Visualizing and scripting desired outcomes.
Affirmations: Listening to positive self-talk as she goes about her day.
EFT Tapping: Rewiring beliefs through tapping specific body points.
- “It’s been an incredibly helpful tool… letting go of beliefs that no longer serve you.” – Les [38:09]
Meditation: 10-minute morning sessions, often paired with her red light mask.
Gratitude: Writing 3 things she’s grateful for.
Forgiveness: Writing or speaking forgiveness to herself and others.
Mirror Work: Having direct conversations or affirmations with herself in the mirror.

“These things are very, very quick practices… truly, the second I started doing these things, it had a profound impact on my energy.” – Les [39:57] __

These practices take just 15–20 minutes and have had an “almost immediate” effect on her energy, confidence, and even the success of her content.

7. Lessons on Manifestation, Patience, and Inner Fulfillment

[41:10–44:15]

Upon checking in with her friend at the end of August, neither had received their specific dreams, but both felt joyful, supported, and at peace.
Sometimes “the actual manifestation, the actual prize, the actual win is feeling better… feeling so solid wherever you are.” – Les [41:54]
Over time, more manifestations have arrived. Les believes that her nervous system needed to settle into contentment before she was ready to receive them fully.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Redefining Progress:
“The things that I don’t have… it doesn’t matter. None of those things exist because everything that I have is exactly what I need right here.” – Les [27:22]
On External Success:
“Those months were the hardest months of the year for me, where I was anxious and miserable trying to keep the wheels on the bus.” – Les [33:23]
On Turning Inward:
“You are allowed to want what you want, but ultimately how you feel should be the compass… you are the main one affirming what you’re doing.” – Les [34:51]
On Self-Worth and the Single Experience:
“I’m in my mid-30s, I am single, and I actually feel really good about that. But I know for some people, that can be really charged.” – Les [35:38]
The Actual Prize:
“It’s a sense of contentment in feeling so solid wherever you are that… what you do or don’t have doesn’t matter. And that in and of itself is the prize.” – Les [42:04]

Timestamps for Key Segments

Journey & Energy Shift Discussion: [00:13–06:46]
Owning Triggers & Internal Work: [06:46–09:39]
Travel, Reflection & Manifestation Pact: [15:22–21:01]
Mirror Work and Self-Acceptance: [18:40–21:01]
Main Character Energy & Birthday Party: [21:01–28:28]
How Life Feels vs. How Life Looks: [33:16–36:50]
Daily Manifestation Practice List: [36:50–41:10]
Lessons on Manifesting and Patience: [41:10–44:15]

Flow & Tonal Notes

Les’s tone throughout the episode is warm, vulnerable, and empowering. She maintains honesty around her struggles and growth, blending actionable advice with sincere personal storytelling. The episode serves as both a “behind-the-scenes” look at her mindset evolution and as a compassionate guide for listeners seeking contentment during periods of waiting or lack.

Actionable Takeaways

Create your own “Manifest It” list—pick a few consistent, nurturing habits and stick to them.
Prioritize how you feel over how your life looks to others.
Celebrate small wins and everyday gratitudes, even when the big dreams haven’t bloomed yet.
Let self-affirmation, not external validation, be your North Star.
Remember: The feelings of peace and self-worth are themselves manifestations to cherish.

If you’re ready to shift from anxious striving to savoring your present, Les’s story and toolkit provide both inspiration and practical starting points.

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Transcript

A (0:01)

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

A (0:12)

Thank you for tuning in to this.

B (0:13)

Week'S episode of she's so Lucky podcast.

A (0:15)

My name is Les.

B (0:16)

I'm your host and this podcast is all about the ways that we create our own luck. Sometimes I have the opportunity of sitting down with amazing women to hear their stories of how they created their own luck.

A (0:26)

And other times I am coming at you solo.

B (0:29)

And today is one of those days where I am coming at you solo. Now, earlier this year I experienced a bit of a shift in my own energy and in how I have carried myself and I have spent my time and it has really paid dividends. And I have talked a little bit about it on social media, but I thought it would be really great to come talk about it on the podcast. And it's also been really special that so many of you have noticed. I've gotten a lot of messages from people and a lot of comments on things where people are saying, les, something.

A (1:08)

About you just seems really different or.

B (1:10)

I don't know what it is about your energy lately, but like it's giving main character, it's just giving so self assured. There's just something different. And that to me is the best compliment that I could ever ask for. And I do think that my energy is different than it has been in the past and that has been very intentional and that has come from a lot of dedicated work work. But there was a time about halfway through the year where I really made a pointed effort to truly shift my energy. And seeing even where that's taken me in just the past few months has been so rewarding. And I was like, okay, we gotta come on the podcast and we gotta talk about it. But I also have to kind of recap how we got to that point. So if you have been listening to the podcast for about the past, let's say two years, you've probably noticed a lot of changes. Not only, you know, the name of the show, but even the types of conversations that we have. Me going full time doing the show and leaving my corporate job at the end of 2023, I was able to dedicate so much more to the show and to my content. But I also realized that with having increased visibility, it was going to require a lot more of me. And so starting in 2023, especially when I added the video component to this show, because I actually started the Show Back in 2018, it was audio only from 2018 to 2023, and then from 2023 on I've done video. The shift to including video really had to mark a big shift for me and the way that I did things. I was predominantly working on the show solo for the first five years, and I would have different kind of team members who would help at different points, but it was something that I truly treated as kind of a side hustle that was on the side of my corporate job. And so I had all of these different systems and efficiencies in place that helped me put out as good of an audio show as could be. And because I had so much on my plate working in corporate, doing the show on the side, doing social media on the side, a lot of my own self care kind of fell by the wayside. And that might be really surprising to hear because during that time, you know.

B (3:21)

And the show was called Balance Black Girl. And there were very specific things that I've always done for my self care. I've always prioritized creating good nutrition whenever I can. I have always prioritized having a solid morning routine. I have always prioritized exercising and moving my body. That's a big part of who I am. That's a big part of my personal brand. That is what people know me for. So while, yes, I had always done those things, it was often from a space of wanting to be more efficient so that I could increase my output. But when I made the shift to doing video for this show in 2023, I realized everything that I did actually couldn't be about efficiency. Because me having my voices in people's ear is one thing, but me being on camera where people can see me every week and they can see my energy and how I present and show up now becomes a big part of the job in the way that it wasn't before, just marked a really big shift. And so I've been on this journey for the past couple of years all about how I present myself. And part of that was kind of a looks standpoint. You know, I have made an effort to try and dress better and present better, and I've played with style, and I've learned makeup. Like, nothing will make you learn how to do your makeup faster than seeing yourself on camera every week. And I, you know, did the Invisalign and all of those things that were a little bit more external, because whether we like to admit it or we don't, my content does better the better that I look. It's super frustrating. It is really annoying. As much as I wish that I could, like, roll out of bed and roll into the studio, I could do that, but it's just not going to perform as well. Unfortunately, how I look is a part of the job. So I had to start learning how to pay more attention to that. But also with that came a lot of inner work as well. So in early 2024, I went back to therapy. And even though I'd done therapy kind of off and on for most of my adult life in the past, always done therapy when something was wrong, when I was in a toxic job, when somebody died, when I went through a breakup, it was always kind of crisis management. But I'd never gone to therapy just for maintenance and to work on more things under the hood. So I did that in 2024 and it just, it started kind of helping me work through some of the blocks that I had, some of the fears that I had of being seen of, you know, being successful, of being honest with myself about what my fears were and what I wanted. And it was really, really helpful and laid a very solid foundation for me. So I would say late 2023 into 2024, I had done a lot of personal work that was super helpful. And I do think that I now present very differently than I did then. I've had some of my old TikTok content get served back up where people are engaging with it. And I'm seeing some of my TikTok videos from maybe 2022, 2023, you know, when I lived in LA and I was still working in corporate full time. And every time one of those videos pops up, I'm like, who is that woman? I don't recognize that person. I do recognize that it's me and I see myself in that, but I feel so disconnected from that person because of so much of the inner work that I have done. I recognize her and I have so.

B (6:46)

Oh, I'm simply not that person anymore. And so a lot of that started changing for me in 2023. Going into 2024, the life changes that I had, moving from LA to New York and going from side hustler to full time entrepreneur were a really big part of that. And so as I headed into 2025, I really thought that a lot of my inner work was done. I was like, okay, I got a year therapy under my belt. I finished my Invisalign. I've successfully made it a full calendar year of being a full time entrepreneur. Like, I'm good. And, you know, the first half of 2025, I don't want to say was hard or Was, you know, I don't want to assign a negative connotation to it, but I was confronted with a lot of triggers during that time, personally and professionally in ways where it felt like I was really managing a lot. And even though nothing was wrong, nothing was bad, nothing was, you know, going poorly or there weren't any major events happening during that time, I was just constantly being confronted with a lot of my triggers and a lot of these little tests that brought up a lot of these feelings of, you know, either past things that I still hadn't healed from, insecurities that I still had kind of just poking at me relentlessly and doing all of that while still increasing my own visibility and still trying to grow my platform and, you know, having some exciting things happen. We had some amazing episodes of the podcast this year. We had a rebrand, we had these live shows. And so all of these things kind of brought a brighter spotlight to me. While behind the scenes I'm constantly being like poked and prodded and triggered and trying to keep my cool. It was just a really difficult time. And a lot of that really came to a head for me over the summer where I just felt like so many things were continuing to bug me that I thought I healed from. So many things from my past were kind of, I don't want to say coming back. It's not like people from my past were, were coming back, but I felt myself kind of self sabotaging in a way from fears of past experiences happening again. And a lot of that for me in my personal life and in my professional life really came to a head over the summer where I just felt like, okay, I thought that I was further along than I am. I thought that my business was more solid than it was. Could the rug be pulled out from underneath me at any time and kind of being on high alert and I was in a really, really difficult place feeling all of those things all at once.

A (9:39)

Thank you so much to Google Shopping for sponsoring this episode. Alright, the holiday season is officially upon us, y'. All. And as you all know, I'm all about practicality, mindfulness and self care. But that being said, sometimes my loved ones need a little nudge in the right direction when it comes to shopping for me at the holidays. But this year they finally got a secret for smart intentional gifting the Google Holiday 100. It's a list of the top 100 trending products backed by Google search trends. So you know, they're already popular now. I've already sent my loved ones the link and They've been scrolling through it and finding some amazing wellness gifts. For me think top rated red light therapy masks and personalized yoga straps. It's giving major inspo for gifts that are actually an investment in my self care routine. So if your loved ones are also stressing about finding those perfect presents that you'll actually use, send them the link to the Google Holiday 100 at G Co Shop Holiday 100. Trust me, it'll make their holiday shopping easier and you a whole lot happier. It's a win win. So I've been thinking about how unpredictable our bodies can feel sometimes. You're doing your best, you're staying on top of your life and then out of nowhere your energy dips, your comfort feels off and your whole rhythm just changes. And for a lot of us that comes back to our hormones even though no one ever really taught us what that means or how to support them. That's why I've been using Hormone Harmony from Happy Mammoth because it finally feels like something that helps my body keep up with my life. Hormone Harmony was created by an award winning German nutrition scientist and combines 12 herbal plant based adaptogens in one formula. Each ingredient is backed by scientific evidence and it's designed for women across different ages and hormonal profiles who want to feel more aligned, more steady and more like themselves again. It helps maintain optimal hormone levels so you can support your energy, clarity, confidence and overall well being. Especially during those times when your body is shifting and you just want things to feel manageable again. Happy Mammoth is also known for their zero compromise approach. There's no GMOs, no artificial fillers or flavors, just science backed ingredients and clinically proven amounts and they've helped more than 2.4 million women feel better in their bodies. For a limited time you can get 15% off your entire first order@happy mammoth.com just use the Code Lucky at checkout. You can try Hormone Harmony risk free and get 15% off your first order.

A (12:13)

Again that's code lucky for 15% off@happy mammoth.com as a Kendra Scott partner I'm sharing with you how I make this holiday season special. This time of year always feels extra cozy and sparkly. The outfits, the gatherings, the little moments that make the season feel warm. And a big part of that is the gifts we give the people we love. You make the season bright, you make the season sparkle and you make the season special with holiday gifts from Kendra Scott. Kendra Scott is truly my go to because there's something for everyone. Your best friend, your mom, your partner, your work bestie, and of course yourself. We're not skipping self gifting around here. They've spent over 20 years creating beautiful everyday jewelry while also giving back to women and youth causes, which is something I really value. It feels good to support a brand that pours into its community and their holiday collection this year is stunning. Whether you're into fashion jewelry, demi fine pieces for everyday shine, or fine jewelry for those big moments, you're going to find something you love. And if you're specific, and by that I mean intentional, their color bar lets you design your own custom piece in store or online. It's one of my favorite parts of shopping with them. So however you're celebrating this year, you make the season beautiful, you make the season bright. And with Kendra Scott, you make the season Sparkle. Visit Kendra Scott.com and use the code SSL20 at checkout for 20% off one full price jewelry item exclusions apply. Expires December 31, 2025 that's K-E-N-R-A-S C-O-T-T.com Gifts & Code SSL20 this episode is sponsored by Cotton. Now more than ever, I have been prioritizing wearing items made from natural fibers as much as possible, and cotton is that fabric that I come back to again and again because it feels it wears well and is so versatile. Especially now that the weather's warming up, I reach for cotton more than ever. Light, breathable tops, flowy cotton dresses, the softest sleepwear. I love knowing that what I'm putting on my body is gentle and not trapping heat or irritation and that it won't bother my skin. It really does make a difference when you're wearing something all day and you want to feel comfortable and put together. Whether I'm wearing denim or a simple tee, cotton based fabrics are a staple in most of my outfits and as someone who is on the go a lot, I appreciate that. Cotton is also super durable. It doesn't fall apart in the wash, it keeps its shape and it's just not the kind of fabric that you have to fuss over. It's really easy to take care of and that matters to me because I want my clothes and my linens to work with my lifestyle and not be another thing that I have to worry.

B (15:22)

Also, over the summer, I was traveling a lot. From late June, mid to late June through the end of July, I was traveling a ton. So I had a conference in Boise and then I went to visit my family in Seattle, and then I went to Southern California, then I went to Essence Fest, then I went to NAACP convention, then I went to Portugal, then I went to the Hamptons. It was like that six week span. I was basically gone the entire time. And it gave me a little bit of space and a break from my routine to be able to do some really good reflection. And a lot of really good reflection particularly came when I went to Portugal. I spent a week in Portugal with my friend Christina over the summer. We kind of planned to have a little girls trip. Earlier this year, we actually planned to try to have this like big multi country, multi week euro trip. And we got to the spring and we were like, yeah, we're tired. The money's not moneying, the life is lifing. So let's pick one country. Let's just do like a week and, and call it good. And so we ended up choosing Portugal, going there for a week, and it was such a great trip. I just had so much fun hanging out with my friend. And then we kind of both got like solo time, explore and roam and do things that we wanted to do. And it was just such a peaceful trip. But we also talked a lot about things that we wanted to call in and limiting beliefs that we wanted to get rid of. We decided to kind of make a. I don't know if pact is the right word, but we kind of made an agreement and this was the third week of July, to talk about some of the things that we wanted to call in. By the end of August, we both had two very specific manifestations that we wanted to call in. And we talked about the things that we were going to do to prepare ourselves for those manifestations. And so a lot of it was like rededicating ourselves to our journaling practice, rededicating ourselves to our meditation practice, doing things like affirmation, doing things like mirror work. I decided to add in eft tapping, which I know I've talked about on the podcast recently, because it was a really amazing tool that had helped me years ago that I'd kind of forgotten about, but had entered back, back into my orbit. I kind of remembered that it was a really great tool. And so we decided like, okay, we're gonna do these daily activities. We're gonna check in with each other regularly about how they're going and about how our manifestations are coming. And then at the end of August, we're gonna check back in and see what came true. So that was kind of a little pact that we made at the end of that trip. And so each day, I would say probably about six days a week. I wouldn't say that I do this seven days per week, you know, every single week since then. But for the most part, five to six days per week, I have stuck to this list that is in my phone, it's in my reminders app that just reminds me of different things that I want to do each day. So there's a eft tapping, there's affirmations, there is mirror work, there is movement, there is gratitude, there is forgiveness. And then I also have reminders to do little beauty things so that I stay on top of my beauty routine. So it's, you know, I set a reminder in there for every six weeks to remember to get my nails done every day, to remember to put my red light mask on, you know, every other week, remember to tint my eyebrows or whatever it is. It's all in my reminders app on my phone. And when I tell you, even though it's so simple, so simple to just have a reminders app that reminds me to do these things daily, weekly, whatever, it has been such a transformative experience. Even that that first week coming back from Portugal in July when I started doing these things in the morning. And in my morning routine, you know, instead of pressing snooze, I would immediately turn on my guided meditation, I'd put on my red light mask and I would turn on a guided meditation instead of hitting the snooze button, which is about the same amount of time. And honestly, half the time I do think I low key kind of fall back asleep a little bit. But my subconscious mind is really taking in these meditations, Starting my day with doing that, adding things like mirror work, which I had never done before. It was something that was so uncomfortable for me. And mirror work is really just having a form of self talk directly in the mirror, making eye contact with yourself. And sometimes it will start off as just being affirmations. That was how I started off those first couple of days of mirror work. I just did affirmations that I'd wrote written down for myself. Now mirror work work looks a little bit different. I go a little bit deeper. I have had moments of self accountability where I'm speaking to myself in the mirror, holding myself accountable for things that I need to be held accountable for. I have had moments of forgiveness where I am forgiving myself for something I had had moments of reminding myself that I am proud of myself. I've had moments in the mirror where I am speaking to my younger self, but just the practice of doing that. Even times where I'm standing in front of the mirror absolutely sobbing have been so transformative. So between the journaling, the meditation, the mirror work, I will usually turn on affirmations on my morning walk. Because I will usually walk in the morning to my kind of morning appointments, or if I'm walking to cowork somewhere instead of listening to music, I will turn on recording of affirmations. All of these things started leading to very big shifts in my energy very quickly, where within days I would have people either commenting on social media or telling me in.

B (21:01)

Different. You just seem like something has shifted. You're showing up more fully. You are. You know, I've had people tell me that it's main character energy. It probably also helped that all of this was coinciding with the beginning of Leo season. I'm a Leo son, and I also really, really wanted to feel more connected to and unashamed of having Leo energy because I always felt a lot of shame around it and kind of some embarrassment around Leo energy and feeling like, oh, am I, you know, an attention whore? Am I somebody who, you know, is like, needy or annoying or all of these things that people say and bossy or whatever? And I just had to learn to kind of embrace it and, and embrace the energy that I have instead of fighting it. And so I think all of these things were happening at once months where I started having really strong mindset and energy shifts. And there have been some very specific things that I have wanted to call in for years. Years and years and years that at least at the time that I'm sitting and recording this have. Have not happened yet. There are milestones that I want to reach in my business in terms of how many people I want this podcast to reach. There are financial milestones that I want to reach so that I will finally feel comfortable with where I'm at and being able to help people in my life and. And being able to do so with ease that I'm just not there yet. I would love to fall in love one day, and that is, you know, at least at the time that I'm recording. This just isn't something that has happened yet. So these are all things that I'm still calling in and still trying to manifest. And they have not, you know, entered yet. At least at the time that I'm sitting here for the first time in so long, felt so much peace and contentment and felt like I wasn't lacking anything. And so as I started carrying these practices into August, I started feeling that just sense of contentment and inner peace and gratitude for exactly what I had. And it felt so profound. And the things that used to bug me, the things that I used to complain about, you know, I would complain so much about my apartment and how small it is and how, oh, I want a bigger apartment, but, like, my money's not quite there yet. I don't financially feel comfortable, you know, paying for a bigger apartment and feeling so suffocated. And I'm now at a point where I'm like, wow, I love this space that I'm in. I love where I live. I worked with somebody to help me kind of purge and organize my apartment so it feels less cluttered. And even though I'm still in a tiny space, I feel like I have more space because I'm using it differently. And I've actually fallen back in love with it, and I'm so grateful to have it. And it's just those little perspective shifts of all the things that I used to complain about. I just feel a sense of ease and contentment with. And now that I'm walking around with that sense of ease and contentment, even though nothing in my, you know, 3D reality has changed, I don't have that, you know, dream apartment. I don't have the dream partner. My bank account doesn't have the zeros that I would love for it to have. None of those things have actually changed. My life is actually quite identical today that it was, you know, earlier this year when I was feeling all of that angst. But what has changed is my perspective. What has changed is my feeling of contentment and my feeling so much more secure in myself and what I have and what I bring and what my value is, that what I don't have just doesn't bother me anymore. And so I started kind of really learning that and really realizing that as the summer continued. And so the second half of the summer felt so entirely different than the first half, when I just felt so down and broken and that energy was really palpable and other people started to feel it, and I started feeling more comfortable being myself and speaking up for what I wanted. And so as Leo season, you know, was winding down, I decided to celebrate my Birthday in, like, a bigger way than I have in years because I have trauma over when I was younger, trying to do things, trying to celebrate and having, you know, people flake or not show up and. And feeling like, you know, people didn't care. And so I would always kind of downplay it out of that fear of disappointment. And this year, because I was in this headspace of contentment, and it actually also happened when I was in Portugal, I decided, no, I want to celebrate. It isn't even a big milestone birthday. It isn't like me turning 30 or me turning 40 or whatever. I just feel like celebrating. I want to get my friends together. I want to have fun. I want to just be carefree for this evening. And if my birthday is the occasion that we get to do that, then we get to do that. And so I ended up throwing a party for myself, which, if you follow me on Instagram and TikTok, you may have seen, it was very fun. It was Y2K video vixen themed. And when I say my friends understood the assignment, they absolutely did. And it was everything that I could have wanted. Everybody showed up, everybody stuck to the theme. People made new friends and connected. And it was just. I felt like I was living in an answered prayer of just getting some of my people together and enjoying space together. And one of the resounding feelings that I had when I was at my party was, I lack absolutely nothing. That. That's just what I kept saying to myself was, wow, I. I have everything I ever wanted. I lack nothing. I have this beautiful community of people who have shown up for me. I have space that I can share with them. I have another year of life that I am so grateful to have. I don't lack anything. Those things that I don't have, the apartment that I don't have, the money that I don't have, the man that I don't have. It doesn't matter. None of those things exist, because everything that I have is exactly what I need right here. And I know eventually whatever's meant for me will come. But even if it doesn't, this feeling of contentment that I have right here is. It's so sweet, and it's so much better. And I just have felt so grateful to be in that. That place, really, for the first time in my life. And it doesn't mean that I'm not ambitious still or that I'm not still reaching for big, audacious goals, but I do think that I have felt a shift in myself that feels less like I'm trying to grasp something and is more of being fully myself and really embodying what I think is, is who I truly am and showing up in my full, unapologetic authenticity. And so when I have had people say things to me like your energy feels really different or there's just been such a shift or you're, you're giving off just this different vibe, I really think that that is what it is. And I'm so grateful that other people notice and that, you know, people are saying it like a good thing. But even if they weren't, how good I feel and how confident I feel, standing in who I am and how I am in this moment is something that I am so grateful.

A (28:33)

If you're looking for a way to give back this season, something that feels personal, intentional, and truly impactful, this is it. Heifer International is a global nonprofit helping women entrepreneurs access micro loans so they can grow their farms, build businesses, and support their families. It is so much more than charity. It's truly giving opportunity. 100% of your donation to their Microloan Impact Fund goes directly to women like Akambi Ashiada, who grew up in Lagos, Nigeria. Her father passed before she was born and her mother raised six kids in a one bedroom home. Food was scarce, but today Akanbi is a tomato farmer and thanks to the micro loan from Heifer, she's been able to expand her business and provide for her family on her own terms. That is the kind of story that your donation helps write and at she's so lucky. We talk a lot about creating our own luck and this is how you can help someone else do that, especially supporting women entrepreneurs all over the world. You can fund a loan today at Heifer. That's H e I f e r.org Lucky that's heifer.org Lucky to give a woman entrepreneur the tools to build something of her own. Give back this season with Heifer. Her opportunity starts with you. If you feel called to work in wellness but aren't sure where to start, listen up because I have a resource that you might be interested in. It's the CNP program from Kale Health, which stands for Certified Nutritional Practice Practitioner. And it's a flexible, self paced certification designed to help you actually do the work, whether that's supporting your own health, launching a business, or pivoting into a new career. And it's okay if you don't have a health background. You'll learn how to run over 200 functional labs, build nutrition and supplement protocols, and even get business coaching to help you turn what you learn into an actual business. The program was created by licensed naturopathic doctors and registered dietitians so everything is science backed, thoughtful and clear and the best part is it's super flexible and you can start wherever you are. This is something that I so wish existed back when I was starting my career in wellness. The last CNP class had stay at home moms, nurses, estheticians and six figure entrepreneurs, but the through line is that it's really for people who wanted to feel empowered in their own health and who felt called to help others do the same. The founder, Courtney of Kale Me Court Nutrition gave us a special promo code which is lucky for 1500 off the CNP program. At kalehealth.com you can jump on a free info call with one of their specialists to get your questions answered and to make sure it's the best fit for you. And again, don't forget to use the promo code Lucky to Save when you join Winter is officially here and this is the time of year when I am constantly on the go. Between errands, travel days, holiday events.

B (33:16)

So I wanted to share that little story with you because I think it can be very easy when we see people on social media to assume that their lives look a certain way or to assume that things are, you know, going so great, or they have this or they have that, or even if you're looking at my year and you saw earlier this year you had sold out live shows and you rebranded your podcast and you had these great guests and actually those months were the hardest months of the year for me where I was anxious and miserable trying to keep the wheels on the bus during that time. And this time that I'm in right now, that actually is a lot quieter and less flashy and less things is so much happier and I'm having so much more fun and I feel so much more content. And I. I just want to share that, that how your life feels is so much more important than how it looks. So regardless of what you feel, like you're able to post what you see other people post what you're consuming of what other people are doing. Just a reminder that you are kind of the boss when it comes to your reality, when it comes to how you feel, when it comes to what you want, that you are allowed to want what you want, but then that ultimately how you feel should be the compass. It shouldn't be about how things look externally or how other people react to what you're doing or how much other people are affirming what you're doing. You have to be the main one affirming what you're doing, because you are the only one living your life. You are the only one living with your nervous system. You know when something's off, you know when something is on, and that has to be your North Star. So if you are in a place similar to where I was earlier this year, where I was just, I don't know, work was hard and I had like a weird breakup thing. I don't even know what to call it, y'. All, I won't even get into that. You know, we don't talk about those men on this show. I do not believe that these men need to be platformed in any way. And so I choose not to do it. And so, you know, anybody who I've dated or whatever, they're just that man. Those men, that's, you know, that's the only identity that they have. But those instances really can't be the deciding factor in how you feel about yourself. And I get it because I've been through it. I've been through all of it. You know, I'm in my mid-30s, I am single, and I actually feel really good about that. But I know that for some people, that can be really charged, or if they feel like they should be at a certain point, or if they feel like they should have a certain thing. And then to reach an age and to not have it, it can be really jarring. You also have to remember that your feelings need to be your compass. And it's not worth it if somebody is draining the life out of you. It is not worth it if you have something but they're stressing you out, or if you're not being loved properly, or if you're not being treated properly, or if you're in a job where you're not being treated fairly or you're not being compensated properly, how it looks on the outside, or having something just to say you have it by a certain time. Time isn't worth it if it doesn't feel good to you. So if you are in that space and you are wanting to turn things around, I wanted to kind of walk through my little manifest it list so that you can steal it if it is helpful. You can't fully see this on camera, but this is my little reminders app with my manifest it list. And so this is my list of things that I aim to do daily. And I have a little reminder on my reminder app to repeat these things daily so that I don't have to keep, you know, typing in the same task. So the things that I aim to do daily are movement, which is some form of exercise. Best case scenario journaling. I talk about best case scenario journaling all the time. I've also done a full podcast episode about it. If you want to learn more about it, I will link it in the description where you can check it out there. Affirmations as instead of of repeating affirmations, I prefer to listen to them while I'm doing other things. So I will be listening to affirmations either on YouTube or on the Activations app while I am walking or while I am, you know, maybe cleaning my apartment in the morning or while I'm brushing my teeth, walking to the gym, whatever. So affirmations. EFT tapping. And I have talked about this a little bit on the podcast, but EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique and it's basically where you tap tap different Specific points of your body like your hand, your eyebrow, the side of your head, under your eye, upper lip, chin, chest, top of your head, and these different meridian points. You're tapping them while you are either repeating beliefs that you want to kind of unprogram or affirmations that you want to program into your subconscious. And it's very, very helpful for helping you rewire your brain. Program new.

B (38:09)

Beliefs. Let go of beliefs that no longer serve you. It's been an incredibly helpful tool. I usually find EFT tapping videos on YouTube so I can link some of my favorite channels in the description if you want to check it out. But it's a very accessible tool. So I do that daily and that usually these things all take a few minutes, right? Movement. It's like my morning workout class. Best case scenario, journaling. I usually just spend a couple minutes. I might write a few paragraphs to a page in my journal. Affirmations. I'm literally listening to them while I'm walking and multitasking to do something else. EFT tapping. Most of the videos I follow are about five minutes long. Meditation Again. I reach for my meditation app in place of the snooze button. So my morning meditations are 10 minutes. What I like to do is when my alarm goes off, I will. I have on my nightstand my red light mask. And kind of because I've done it so many times it's almost muscle memory, I will put on my red light mask, turn it on. The timer for that is for 10 minutes. I'll go to my meditation app, hit start. Usually the meditations are 10 minutes minutes and then I kind of fall back asleep, but not fully because the red light mask, it's like the light doesn't let me sleep, but I'm still kind of in a half sleepy, snoozy, dreamy state, which is honestly probably better for meditation. So that takes 10 minutes. My gratitude practice is just writing down three things that I'm grateful for. So that takes, I mean, maybe a minute. And then my forgiveness practice is very important. That's where I will either write just a sentence at the end of my journal prompt of something that I'm forgiving either in someone else or in myself. Or sometimes I will combine that with my mirror work practice. So mirror work is the last thing on the list. Usually where I will go to the mirror. Sometimes that will be my forgiveness practice where I will say out loud something that I'm forgiving. Sometimes I will speak out loud affirmations to myself. Sometimes I'll just Have a little conversation with myself. But it's super quick for me, that takes no more than a minute. So these things are very, very quick practices to do outside of my little meditation and the workout. I mean, this takes maybe 15 to 20 minutes in the morning. And truly, the second I started doing these things, it had a profound impact on my energy. And people started treating me differently and I started showing up differently. And then my content started performing better because I was showing up as my full self. And the results of the shift in my energy were almost.

B (40:29)

It. And what's funny is that at the end of August, when I had a check in with my friend, I hadn't actually brought in the manifestations that I wanted to call in. There were two very specific ones. For the sake of our privacy and keeping our business our business, I'm not going to share specifically what those manifestations were, but me and my friend were voice noting each other at the very end of August just to check in. And we had gotten kind of very close to those manifestations. It was like I wanted to book something, and I didn't book the exact thing that I wanted, but I booked something very close. And then, you know, my friend had something going on that she wanted to manifest. And it wasn't like the exact thing, but it was still very close. Honestly, even though we didn't get the exact things that we were calling in, we just feel so good doing this. And we've been kind of navigating the challenges that we've experienced so well that we're just going to keep doing it. And so we've been doing it ever since. And we also. So since then, because it's now been a few months from this, we have called in more of those things that we initially wanted to call in. That just took a little bit more time. And I think for at least speaking for myself, I can't speak for anyone else. It was just like my nervous system needed a little bit more work before I could fully receive the things that I wanted to receive. It just needed a little bit more time for me to feel safe enough to hold those things. And also since then, I have had people just pop up in my life who have been been exactly what I needed, who just showed up out of nowhere, who just reached out and are like, hey, Les, I want to help you with xyz. Hey, Les, could you use this? Sometimes the results take a little while. Sometimes it might not be the exact thing you want exactly when you want it, but the actual manifestation, the actual prize, the actual win is feeling better, right? It's not the dollar amount that you think you're gonna have, or the person you think you're gonna have, or the exact job that you think you're gonna have. It's a sense of contentment in feeling so solid wherever you are that whatever you do or don't have doesn't matter. And that in and of itself is the prize. Now, it only took me 36 years to realize that, but it is something that I am so absolutely grateful to have reached a point where I finally experienced and have truly never felt better. And it doesn't mean that things don't still happen in life that are hard. I've definitely, even still, since July, have had challenging things, difficult conversations and stuff that I've had to figure out, but just that inner sense of peace and knowing and feeling like I truly lack nothing, even though there are still things that I want that I haven't called in yet has been an incredibly profound, life changing experience that I hope that everybody gets to have. And I hope that in me sharing my story and my experience with that that you get to have have too. Because I think that that is such a huge part of creating your own luck is also deciding what that feeling is for yourself and knowing when you have that feeling and doing whatever it is that you need to do to hold on to it. So that is what I have for you today with my solo episode of us just kind of catching up of me reframing gratitude and how I'm currently feeling in this season of life and some of the tools and things that have been helpful for me that I mentioned, as well as other podcast episodes from this show that I think could be helpful if you enjoyed this conversation and you're looking for more. Because a lot of these things are topics that we've touched on in different episodes and I think that they could supplement today's conversation really well. So thank you so much for tuning in to she's so Lucky. I really hope you enjoyed today's solo.