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[Solo] How to Invest In Yourself

She's So Lucky

Tue Oct 29 2024

Summary

Balanced Black Girl Podcast: [Solo] How to Invest In Yourself
Release Date: October 29, 2024
Host: Balanced Black Girl (Cynthia)

Introduction

In the Balanced Black Girl podcast episode titled "[Solo] How to Invest In Yourself," host Cynthia delves deep into the multifaceted concept of self-investment. Balancing personal development with practical advice, Cynthia shares her personal experiences from 2024, highlighting the importance of investing in various aspects of one's life to foster overall well-being and growth.

Embracing the Winter Arc

Winter Arc Concept:
Cynthia begins by discussing the "winter arc," a trending term on TikTok referring to the fourth quarter when individuals lock in their goals and push to achieve them before the year's end.

Cynthia [01:47]: "A lot of the girlies are calling it their winter arc on TikTok, which is basically where Q4 everybody is kind of locking in and really getting in on their goals."

Personal Approach:
Contrary to the typical winter arc hustle, Cynthia opts out of the intense goal-chasing this year. Instead, she emphasizes the importance of balancing effort with rest, acknowledging the intense self-investment she has already undertaken.

Cynthia [01:47]: "I personally am not participating in the winter arc this year because I feel like I've been pushing myself so hard all year that I honestly need to do the opposite and I need to chill a little bit."

1. Investing in Physical Wellbeing

Foundational Importance:
Physical health serves as the cornerstone of overall well-being. Cynthia underscores that our bodies are the one constant we have throughout our lives, making self-care in this area paramount.

Cynthia [01:47]: "Our physical bodies are really the only thing we have that's truly ours, that we will have over the whole span of our lives."

Personal Investments:
Cynthia shares her journey of maintaining physical fitness, from her early college days to her current challenges in New York City. She discusses her recent decision to invest in a higher-end gym membership to overcome limitations faced with smaller, less equipped gyms.

Cynthia [10:30]: "I did invest in a gym membership... One of the investments that I have made that has been helping me make more progress in this area is I did invest in a gym membership."

Adaptation and Growth:
Acknowledging the plateau she faced due to limited equipment and lack of fresh air, Cynthia highlights how this investment not only improved her physical health but also her mental well-being by providing a sense of community.

2. Investing in Mental Health

Therapy as a Tool:
Mental health is a critical area of self-investment. Cynthia elaborates on her return to therapy, emphasizing its role in processing past events and managing emotions to unlock her full potential.

Cynthia [15:20]: "I've talked A little bit on the podcast about how I went back to therapy this year. And as I've gone back to therapy, I've been approaching therapy differently."

Financial Commitment:
Recognizing therapy's financial demands, especially when specific preferences like finding a Black woman therapist come into play, Cynthia discusses the value she derives from this investment despite its high cost.

Cynthia [22:07]: "Child, it hurts the pockets. It's expensive. But for me is an important bill to pay because it is creating such a return in terms of helping me feel well mentally, which is absolutely priceless."

Accessible Alternatives:
For listeners who might find traditional therapy unaffordable, Cynthia suggests alternatives such as sliding scale services like Open Path Collective, journaling, and meditation practices.

3. Building Confidence

Confidence Through Action:
Cynthia challenges the conventional belief that confidence stems from achievements. Instead, she posits that confidence arises from the act of trying and consistently showing up for oneself.

Cynthia [26:06]: "You get confident from practicing, from showing up for yourself, from doing the things that you say you were going to do."

Practical Steps:
By engaging in physical activities and therapy, Cynthia illustrates how these actions naturally build confidence without relying on external validation.

Cynthia [28:09]: "Doing the things that you say you were going to do...showing up for yourself for something of sticking to something, of becoming stronger physically, which leads you to feeling stronger mentally, which builds the confidence."

Balancing Vanity and Self-Improvement:
While discussing confidence, Cynthia touches on personal appearance and dental health as avenues for boosting self-esteem, emphasizing that such investments should enhance one's natural self rather than alter it fundamentally.

4. Investing in Appearance

Personal Experience with Invisalign:
Cynthia shares her journey with Invisalign, highlighting both the health benefits and the boost in confidence it provided her.

Cynthia [28:17]: "I have felt so much more confident. I have felt myself smiling so much more and I have felt myself speaking up more and using my voice more and being less critical of how I look because I did make that specific change."

Balanced Approach:
Cynthia advocates for investing in appearance in a way that feels authentic and necessary, cautioning against succumbing to societal pressures to change fundamentally.

Cynthia [37:22]: "If you do make investments in your appearance, I like doing things that make me look more like myself, but just like a more fresh, put together, elevated version of myself."

Creative Utilization of Existing Resources:
Rather than splurging on new clothes, Cynthia emphasizes the importance of creatively styling what one already owns, thereby making self-investment more financially sustainable.

Cynthia [40:32]: "I've actually just invested the time to learning how to wear the clothes that I already have. That has been probably the biggest learning because again, I'm now paying for Invisalign. I'm now paying for therapy."

5. Building a Relationship with Yourself

Intentional Self-Reflection:
Cynthia highlights the significance of spending quality time alone to truly understand oneself, moving beyond mere solitude.

Cynthia [46:53]: "Just because I was comfortable doing things with myself or doing things by myself didn't mean that I was actually spending time with myself."

Self-Discovery Practices:
Through journaling and introspection, Cynthia explores her motivations, preferences, and reactions, fostering a deeper connection with herself.

Cynthia [48:16]: "Understanding that about yourself is an incredible investment in yourself."

Reducing External Noise:
Cynthia advises cutting back on external inputs, such as constant media consumption, to better listen to one's inner voice and foster creativity.

Cynthia [48:48]: "Maybe cut that back a little and see what happens when you don't have other people's voices in your head."

Conclusion

Cynthia wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to identify and engage in their unique self-investment practices, tailored to their individual needs and circumstances. She emphasizes that investing in oneself can manifest in various forms—be it physical health, mental well-being, confidence, appearance, or self-relationship—and should ultimately lead to enhanced well-being and fulfillment.

Cynthia [49:24]: "If you're ready to protect and boost your collagen naturally, head over to Biosil Beauty and use my code, balanceless for 30% off your order."

While the episode contains several advertisements, the core content offers profound insights into personal growth and self-care. Cynthia's relatable anecdotes and practical advice make it a valuable listen for anyone looking to invest in themselves meaningfully.

Notable Quotes

Cynthia [01:47]: "Investing in yourself is actually an excellent place to put your investment, because when you put your time and your energy and your resources towards yourself, there's no limit to what your return can be."
Cynthia [26:06]: "You get confident from practicing, from showing up for yourself, from doing the things that you say you were going to do."
Cynthia [48:42]: "When you spend time just checking in with your body, then you know what you need to invest in yourself physically."
Cynthia [49:12]: "What happens when you only have your voice in your head? How do you feel?"

Final Thoughts

"[Solo] How to Invest In Yourself" is a comprehensive guide to self-investment, blending personal narratives with actionable strategies. Cynthia's transparent discussion about her own investments in physical health, mental well-being, confidence, appearance, and self-relationship provides a roadmap for listeners to embark on their own journeys of self-improvement and empowerment.

For more insights and episodes, subscribe to Balanced Black Girl on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Engage with the community on Instagram and TikTok to share your self-investment journeys.

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Transcript

Les (0:01)

The following podcast is a Dear Media Production hello My Balance Besties. Before we get into today's episode, it's time for us to have a real conversation. You know, around here we're all about advocating for empowerment, health and well being for all of us. And all of our well being will be greatly impacted by the results of the election that is right around the corner. So I'm reminding you to make sure that your voter registration is up to date and to start making your Election day plan. As I'm making my plan to vote in a few few weeks, I wanted to talk about why I'm choosing to vote for Kamala Harris for President. It is time for a new way forward for all of us, where our freedoms are protected, anything is possible and our hard work and ambition can move us all forward. Kamala Harris is more than qualified to lead us on this new way forward. She's been in the trenches fighting for issues that matter to us, whether it's defending our reproductive freedom, maternal health, uplifting working families, building an opportunity economy so we can all thrive, or pushing for climate action. Imagine a leader who prioritizes not just progress, but balance, creating real lasting change while keeping communities and individuals at the forefront. We deserve a president who sees us, who gets it, and who's willing to make bold moves to ensure we thrive. So if you believe in a future that looks like us, that uplifts voices like ours, it's time to do everything we can to to ensure Kamala Harris gets elected as our next president. Choose a new way Forward and visit kamalaharris.com issues to learn more. Paid for by Harris for President.

Cynthia (1:47)

Welcome to Balance Black Girl. My name is Les. I'm your host and I appreciate you tapping in. Now listen, Ms. 2024 had somewhere to be because I cannot believe how fast this year is flying. We are on the downward trend of the year. A lot of the girlies are calling it their winter arc on TikTok, which is basically where Q4 everybody is kind of locking in and really getting in on their goals. I personally am not participating in the winter arc this year because I feel like I've been pushing myself so hard all year that I honestly need to do the opposite and I need to chill a little bit. But I did still want to put out an episode to help those who might be in more of a winter arc season. But the version of that that I want to talk about is investing in ourselves. Because as I reflect back on 2024, I'm realizing that this has been a year where I have invested heavily in myself, especially as I review the bank statements. Honey, 2024 has been expensive. Life is expensive, as we all feel. But I also realize I've done a lot of particularly expensive things that have been investing in myself, although investing in yourself doesn't always have to be. And I'm going to talk a little bit more about that today. But I realized that almost unintentionally, this has been a year of really investing and pouring into myself in very specific ways and very tangible ways to become the person that I want to be. And the funny thing about TikTok specifically as a platform is TikTok will be showing all sorts of old videos to people. You'll have a video you posted five, six, ten months ago, a year ago, all of a sudden be shown to a whole new group of people. And I've had that happen over the past few months. A lot of my old videos will be resurfaced to people, and I'll start getting notifications on these old videos that, honestly, I forget all about. So I go back and I look at these videos that I posted at the beginning of the year or this time last year, and I was looking at some of those videos and I was like, whoa, I am an entirely different person. I look different, I sound different, I act different. And I realize that that is a direct response to me investing so much in myself this year, which I was doing it intentionally, obviously, when I made those investments. But I hadn't really realized how much change has occurred in my life and how much I have changed as a result of those investments in myself, until I start seeing some of my old content surface back to me. Especially my old content when I was maybe still in LA or before I had moved to New York. And it just had such a different vibe to it. And it's such an interesting time capsule to see where I was in life not even that long ago. I also feel the same way when old episodes of the podcast pop up or old clips from the podcast pop up, particularly before I moved to New York, and I'm like, whoa, who is she? Because she looks and acts and sounds so different. So it's been really interesting to see that happen in real time. So I want to talk more about this concept of investing in ourselves and what that means. So when we think about investment, we often think about financial investments. At least that's the first thing that comes to mind for me. I think about investing in things like the stock market or investing in real estate or investing in a business and typically you do those types of things to get a financial return. Like that's the definition of an investment, is to put your resources towards something in hopes that you will get a return that exceeds whatever resources you put into the initial thing. And on this podcast, I've used the analogy of investing in a few different ways. You know, in our Decentering Men episode, which we can link in the show Notes, I talked about how men are actually a terrible investment because the return that you get for all the resources you put into them is often very low because, girl, they take your resources and they run to the next with it. So not a good place to put your investment. But investing in yourself is actually an excellent place to put your investment, because when you put your time and your energy and your resources towards yourself, there's no limit, limit to what your return can be. There's no limit to your potential when you really apply yourself in that way. So if we look at investing not just from a financial lens, but from a personal lens and what it means to you to invest in yourself, to have those dividends kind of blossom and grow within yourself, the sky is really the limit to who you can be, what you can have, what you can achieve, or even just how good you can feel if you don't even want to think about achievement or anything like that. Because I know that can be kind of charged for some people. Just. Just how good you can feel is really important when you're measuring the return on your investment. So I want to talk about a few different areas of life that we can invest in ourselves with our physical wellbeing, our mental and emotional wellbeing, investing directly in our confidence, as well as investing directly in spending time with ourselves to foster a positive relationship with ourselves. And I have also done a lot of intentional investing in myself this year in those very categories. So I'm going to talk a little bit more about the specific investments that I've made in myself in those categories, how they've helped me, and then give you some ideas of how they can help you, too. So the first one I mentioned is investing in your physical wellbeing. And that is really the core foundation of this show. That is the foundation of all of the work that I've done as a content creator over the past decade, because I feel like that is truly the core foundation of taking care of yourself, taking care of your physical body. Our physical bodies are really the only thing we have that's truly ours, that we will have over the whole span of our lives. And if we don't take care of ourselves. No one else is going to do it for us. I have been prioritizing my physical wellbeing for a really long time. I first became interested in fitness when I was in college. So I have been consistently doing things to tend to my physical wellness since I was about 21 years old. And in that I feel really lucky that I stumbled upon wellness at that point in my life because I kind of don't know what it's like to be an adult who has not focused on those things. I definitely know what it's like to be a teenager who doesn't focus on those things. I know what it's like to not focus on those things in my early college years. But by the time I left college, entered the workforce and have been doing the adult thing, I have been focusing on wellness ever since then. But that doesn't mean that there still isn't room for improvement too. I'm currently in a season right now where I'm not getting in as many workouts as I would like. And so for me, if I'm getting in like three workouts per week, that for me is a little bit low and that is not necessarily investing in my full potential physically. For some people who are maybe starting from a sedentary place, working up to three workouts a week is amazing. So if that's you, that's great. Understand where you are and start making incremental steps to get there. But I'm recognizing that like right now, just with my schedule and kind of sprinting towards the end of the year, my workouts haven't necessarily been optimal. Especially over the past year I have had kind of limited access to workout space. I had a really small gym gym with limited equipment. I tend to lift pretty heavy and I kind of maxed out with the equipment that I had access to. I wasn't really leaving the house to work out. It was super limiting. And so one of the investments that I have made that has been helping me make more progress in this area is I did invest in a gym membership. Now let me tell you something about New York City that I didn't know until I moved here. Everywhere else that I've lived, I have had some sort of access to what I would consider like a mid tier gym, you know what I mean? Like there's also you got, you know, you got your Planet Fitness and your blinks and your things like that. And then other areas you have, you know, maybe like a LA fitness signature or like a decent 24 hour fitness and then you go and then you have, you know, like your Equinox, your high mats, your, the nice ones. So I'm used to being somewhere in the middle where I can get, you know, be in a place where fitness is maybe a little bit more serious, but it's not like super expensive serious. Yeah. What I didn't know about New York is you're either at Planet Fitness or Blink or you're at Equinox and there's not really anything in between. So it took me a long time to commit to really going to a gym because I was like, ooh, that's steep, that's really, really expensive. And the gyms that had the things that I wanted were just really pricey. And so I just kind of made do with taking random classes at different studios and having access to the weights and things that I had at home and just kind of making do that way. But I did realize that I was kind of plateauing, that I was not having access to what I needed to challenge my body in new ways, that I wasn't really working out to my fullest potential. And I also found that working out at home, working at home, never really leaving the house also wasn't doing me a lot of favors just in terms of like my mental health and getting fresh air and building community. And so I made the decision to part with a lot of coins every month to get a gym membership at one of those, like nicer gyms that has more amenities, it has all of the equipment that I would need, it has all of the classes that I need, and it has just the nice things that I would need. And it took me a long time to decide to invest in that. One, because it is a lot of money, I'm a working girl just like everybody else. And two, I just felt like, okay, if I am going going to invest in that, then I need to make sure that I really, really use it. So it took me a lot of time and a lot of reflecting to come to that decision. When our schedules get busier, it's easy to forget about taking care of ourselves.

Les (11:48)

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Cynthia (15:20)

Something else that I've also struggled with when it comes to my physical well being is just cooking, meal prepping. I've really struggled to stay on top of that and I find myself, you know, buying groceries, not really using them, prepping things, not really eating it or not prepping things. And it has just been frankly wasteful, which is like unacceptable. I don't think it's okay to be wasting things. But I'm also just haven't been nourishing my body as well. So I ended up doing some meal prep and ordering some meals from factor that I can have on hand so that when I'm really busy recording or doing events or doing a lot of work and I don't have the space to cook, I can still nourish myself because I know that's something that I need physically and I consider that an investment because I'm getting what I need and that return is that I'm actually properly nourished to do the things I need to do and I'm also saving that time. Maybe for you, you're in a space where you need to start developing a meal prep practice. And so maybe you invest in some really nice kitchenware to help you cook, in some great, you know, glass containers to help you meal prep or maybe a couple of really great cookbooks to give you recipe inspo because you need to nourish your body. Or maybe you, like me, are in a space where maybe doing it yourself isn't necessarily feasible for you right now. And so maybe you set up a meal train with friends where each of you make addition, share something with one another or maybe you also invest in, you know, some sort of meal prep service. So looking at what is it that you need and how can you give it to yourself in this moment is going to be really important. And it doesn't mean that you have to do those things forever, but it means that that is the support that you need right now to take care of your physical wellbeing. So I would say that that is the foundational investment in yourself is taking care of your physical health. Health. Now the next investment to make in yourself is to invest in your mental health. However that looks for you. I've talked A little bit on the podcast about how I went back to therapy this year. And as I've gone back to therapy, I've been approaching therapy differently. In the past, when I would go to therapy, it would be very much to talk about things that were happening in my life in that moment, and it would be very talk based. But I've had a lot of things happen in my life that I haven't necessarily processed or truly, you know, dealt with in proper ways. So now in my current season of being in therapy, I'm focusing more on processing events in my life that have still affected me so that I can kind of metabolize, release them, and move forward to be in my potential. And that has been quite an investment because child therapy is expensive. It is very expensive. For me personally. My therapist is not covered by health insurance, and so it is something that I pay out of pocket for. And so it has absolutely been a financial investment. Although for others that may not necessarily be the case. Maybe your therapist is covered by insurance, Especially if you have some sort of diagnosis where therapy is part of, like the prescribed treatment, it's a lot easier to get things covered by insurance. Or maybe you use a service like Open Path Collective, where they have sliding scale therapy and you can find something that's more affordable. So it doesn't always have to be as expensive as paying out of pocket for a therapist. I chose to do that because I was very specific about the type of therapy that I wanted. I also really wanted a black woman therapist. I also found a black woman therapist who I align with really well, who specializes in the things that I specifically want to work on. She's also from Seattle, like me. And so being a black person from Seattle is like a very specific experience. And so when I share experiences with her about that, she just understands and has a level of relatability. And so for all of those factors, I am willing to pay a little bit more for that. And it has been tremendously helpful for my mental health and helping me process things and learn how to tap into my feelings and just manage my emotions and my reactions a lot better, which I think pays dividends in so many areas, because now I'm able to keep my cool more when I am working and when I am leading and when I have a full plate and I'm managing things, I'm managing them so much more effectively than I would have if I had not taken that step to really tend to my mental health and to tend to the things in my life that I need to process. Because For a while, I could see specifically how the events in my life that I hadn't processed were specifically holding me back. When I would get triggered by something or when I would get upset by something, and then I would not show up. Well, I would not show up effectively. I would not be a good leader. It was affecting my work. It was affecting, you know, friendships, relationships, and truly hindering those things. And so I think being able to invest in an area where I can find a lot more freedom from those things and not be hindered by those events because I've learned how to actually deal with them and deal with my feelings around them has been incredibly effective. So that's why I think investing in your mental health is so incredibly important. You have one mind. It's so important to take care of it. And our minds are so powerful and they're so complex. But with that, that also means that sometimes our minds need support so that they kind of work with us, not against us. Because when you feel like your mind is working against you, it is such a difficult feeling, and it doesn't have to be that way. And there are so many different things and options available to get support with that, whether that is with having, you know, a diagnosed mental health condition, or if you are someone who just experiences more of just kind of general anxiety, which is more. So the camp that I'm in, where it just is like, life makes me anxious or very specific things make me anxious, and I just need help dealing with how to manage that. It can be super, super helpful in your toolkit to make sure that you're investing in your mental health. And so therapy can be a really great way to do that. If you're not in a position to go to therapy right now, or maybe if that is not feeling good for you, really focusing on your journaling practice, really focusing on your meditation practice. These are things that don't necessarily have to cost any money, that can be incredibly effective to really help you tend to yourself and tend to your mental and emotional health. So as long as you're doing something in that area to support your mind, to support your soul, it is going to pay back dividends. When you have that mental clarity, when you are able to show up as your best, brightest self, it is just going to open up so many opportunities for you. And I feel like I'm kind of just getting started because I've only been consistently back in therapy for about eight months now. I think I started back in the spring, and I feel like I'm just now getting somewhere and so I'm so excited to see in continuing to do that where I'm at in a year. And child, it hurts the pockets.

Unknown (22:59)

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Cynthia (26:06)

Okay, the next thing I want to talk about is investing in your confidence. I actually did an episode all about confidence last year and I'll make sure that we link that in the show notes. But I think for a lot of us, we expect confidence to come from external sources. Whether that is validation from other people, whether that is confidence coming from the achievements that we have. We feel like, oh, when I achieve this thing, then I will feel confident. And if there's anything that I've learned in becoming more confident in my own life, as well as researching the idea of confidence and where it comes from, is that you don't get confident because you achieve the thing. You get confident from learning how to try. So you don't get confident from doing things right. You get confident from practicing, from showing up for yourself, from doing the things that you say you were going to do. So I talked about confidence specifically after talking about investing in your mental health and your physical health, because those are investments that eventually leave lead to confidence. So if you're able to show up for yourself through a physical practice of moving your body, that is going to build confidence. Not necessarily because you will look different or change your body in a different way. It is because you then have proof of concept of showing up for yourself for something of sticking to something, of becoming stronger physically, which leads you to feeling stronger mentally, which builds the confidence. You know, people may feel like, okay, I will put myself out there when I feel more confident. No, you gain confidence by putting yourself out there. So a lot of the ways that we think about confidence are actually kind of backwards. We think that we will feel confident. We need to get confidence before we do the thing, when really doing the thing is what gives us the confidence to begin with. I will also say that there are some very real aspects of, you know, maybe vanity, maybe how we present that.

Cynthia (29:39)

But what I didn't notice is how much my overall face had changed because my teeth had changed. And the way that I talked was different, and the way that I holding my mouth and moving my mouth was different because my teeth had kind of shifted in some unsavory ways. And so week after week on this podcast, when I then had video evidence of, like, reviewing footage of myself, of, like, a camera in my face every week, I was like, oh, I actually. Why am. Why am I making that face, or why am I moving my mouth like that? Or oh, is that what my teeth actually look like? It just made me not, not necessarily feel my best. And so I did decide this year to make the investment to straighten my teeth, which I'm still in the process of. I've had Invisalign all year and I'd be having my Invisalign in when I record too, because I'm a rule follower and I'm very compliant and I be having my Invisalign in all the time. So you can probably see it and you might be able to hear it. But I'm all about showing you guys the process, okay? And in a few months when I'm done and I don't have my Invisalign lisp anymore, more, you can be like, wow, less did it. I can do it too, if you so feel desired. But I will say, even though I'm not even done with my Invisalign and straightening my teeth, I have felt so much more confident. I have felt myself smiling so much more and I have felt myself speaking up more and using my voice more and being less critical of how I look because I did make that specific change. I will also say there were some health things in there too because I the way my teeth were shifting, it was causing dental issues as well that my dentist was really concerned about. So it was like the vanity confidence combined with like the dental. I didn't, I didn't want to have any more like oral surgeries or things. And I've already had in the past. And so that was a big part of the investment. But I realized how much more confident it made me and has made me in my work and recording the show in my daily life. I know a few months ago when I did the episode with Jazz, with Jazz Turner, which we love jazz and that has probably been one of our most popular episodes because I know so many of you love jazz as well. One of the things that she and I talked about, and this was a great point that she made, was like, if there is something that is just bugging you, then maybe that can be what you focus on. If you are in a season of either investing in yourself or whether you want to call it a glow up, whatever you want to call it, if there is something that is generally bugging you and it's not from a like self loathing way, or it's not from a trying to make yourself something that you're not way, right? There's a difference between saying, hey, okay, I'm not really liking how my teeth look. And I'm gonna get some orthodontics to fix this. Versus, like picking your body apart or picking your face apart. Those are two very different things. So if it's something small that is not like picking apart the core of who you are, but you're like, hey, I want to invest in that and I, I kind of want to fix that. I don't think that there's anything necessarily wrong with it. I think if it's then something where it's like you are trying to change your, your whole body, you are trying to change your whole being, you are trying to make your feature something that you're not, you're trying to do something that is kind of goes against the essence of who you are, then I think that's when we want to take a step back and we want to focus on that more in the kind of mental emotional health investment to really look at where that is coming from and to navigate tackling those feelings there. But for things like your smile, or if you decide that you want to invest a little bit in your skin or these kind of smaller things that you think could help you feel more confident and you think make you show up as the best you and enhance how you already are instead of changing into being something else, then that's okay. So I think that the combination of taking aligned action to do the things that you say you're going to do, as well as maybe investing in some of those, like minor tweaks to help you feel your best self, is an amazing way to encompass investing in your overall confidence. So it's not all vanity. A lot of it is also action in following through with yourself and doing the things that you say that you're going to do.

Cynthia (37:22)

So this also leads to the next point, which is investing in your appearance. And I do want to be careful with how I talk about this because I feel like this can be a little bit of a slippery slope. But sometimes investing in our appearance can lead to returns if that is something that is important to us. So for me, I realized that investing in my appearance was something that was not really going to be optional for me due to this specific career path that I'm in now. When I first started podcasting in 2018 and I started my Podcast from my bedroom in Seattle. It was audio only because that's how podcasts were back then. I did not think much about investing in my appearance or when I worked in corporate, and I was just, like, working from home all day. I didn't think much about investing in my appearance because it just, frankly, wasn't necessary. And when it came to that portion of my career or how my life was going, it was totally fine. How I presented how I looked, all of those things were totally fine. But as my career as a creator has elevated, and again, now that podcast is on video, now that I'm showing up more on social media, now that I'm speaking at events, and now that I'm doing different things, I have had to face the harsh reality that my appearance matters. How I present myself matters. How I look matters. What I'm wearing matters. How I do my hair matters. And when I invest more in those things, it does lead to dividends because I get more people watching the podcast. I get more people engaging with my content on social media. I get more brands wanting to work with me. I get more opportunities that do lead to tangible returns. And that is why I personally have invested more in my appearance, specifically this year. And I have seen a direct correlation between me investing more in my appearance and receiving more opportunities. I don't necessarily think that that is the case for everybody or that everybody has to change how they look. I also don't think that we should change how we look to become something else. I think if we do make investments in our appearance, I like doing things that make me look more like myself, but just like a more fresh, put together, elevated version of myself. So I'm not trying to look like a different person. I'm trying to look like me, but just maybe me who puts a little bit more effort in. And so that has been really my approach to investing in myself from an appearance standpoint. I've talked about it a little bit on the podcast when I talked about my style challenge that I did earlier this fall. So investing a little bit more in how I dress. And the. Actually, the interesting thing about that is that I have not been spending necessarily a lot of money on clothes or a lot more money on clothes. I've actually just invested the time to learning how to wear the clothes that I already have. That has been probably the biggest learning because again, I'm now paying for Invisalign. I'm now paying for therapy.

Cynthia (40:32)

I'm not trying to go, you know, buy up the bar at the mall either. That's not a smart financial decision. I really had to learn how to get more creative with what I already have and how to work with my body to style the things that I have in different ways that are more flattering. So again, investing doesn't always have to mean spending more money on something. It could just mean spending a little bit more time. So I spend a little bit more time doing my hair, but I'm not necessarily buying more products or a bunch of stuff. I'm just spending a little bit more time doing it. Or like, lord knows I have a lot of makeup and always have for whatever reason, even though I never really knew how to use it until recently. But I did spend just a little bit more time learning how to use it so that, like, my face can show up here on camera or so that I can be a little bit more put together when I'm speaking on stage, at events. Because I can see that clear correlation in my career. And I don't necessarily love that that is the case. Like, if that were not the case, I can honestly say I don't think that I would do it. However, in the society that we're in, in this capitalistic space, sometimes, you know, we gotta do what we gotta do to get to where we wanna be. And so that is a conversation that I have had with myself. And so for you, you can decide what that means. Means for you. Again, when I was not necessarily on camera creating content and doing all of these things, I was perfectly content with not investing as much in my appearance because I did not feel it was necessary. I, at those jobs was still doing just fine and was able to maintain healthy, happy space in that area. So I also don't want you to think that wherever you are in your life that you automatically have to do these things because you see someone like me do it. It you don't. It's really about taking a look at where you are, what the different facets of your life are that you want to invest in and what makes you feel good. So when I did my style challenge, I personally decided not to wear workout clothes because for me, as a former fitness professional, workout clothes are a little bit of a crutch. That doesn't mean that nobody can wear workout clothes like you personally. If you feel great in that them, you can wear them every day of the year. And that is amazing. So you don't have to do specifically what I'm doing or what you see other creators doing or other people on social media doing.

Cynthia (43:50)

Stay that way. Do not feel like you have to change anything because anyone else is or because of what other people say. Really look at your heart, what's been placed on your heart, and let that follow what investments you make in your appearance. So again, I really don't want anyone to feel like they then need to spend all this money to, like, get their hair done all the time, get their nails done all the time, get their lashes. Well, y'all know how I feel about lashes, so I'm never going to tell nobody to get their lashes done. But I don't ever want anybody to feel pressure that they need to do these things because of external, you know, impressions, and certainly not because of anything I say. If you want to do those things, do them because you genuinely want to. Either because you genuinely enjoy it, you genuinely love the result, and it financially is feasible for you. But if you do not genuinely love it, if you do not love the results, if it is not financially feasible for you, I don't recommend you do any of those things. Investing in yourself should ultimately make you feel better, be better physically, mentally, emotionally, financially. So do not put yourself in a hard position, particularly emotionally or financially, to look a certain way. I think it's all about, again, enhancing who you already are, making you feel your best, looking more like how you were designed to specifically look whatever your unique beauty is, enhancing that and really savoring that and then letting that speak for itself. Now, the last area of self investment that I want to talk about is investing in having a relationship with yourself. And I think this has probably been the most important investment that I've made in myself this year and that I can encourage anyone else to make. So I'm somebody who spends a lot of time alone. I've always spent a lot of time alone. It's kind of part of my lore of being like lonely girl. Remember on Gossip Girl how Gossip Girl's nickname for Dan or I guess Dan's nickname for himself was lonely boy. I guess I could be considered like lonely girl cause I'm just like always by myself. And so I thought that always being by myself meant that I was spending quality time with myself. And I have learned that that's actually not the case. Just because I was comfortable doing things with myself or doing things by myself didn't mean that I was actually spending time with myself. Because I was really good at doing a lot of busy things and being a busybody by myself and having a very full to do list and doing all the things and always being outside by myself doesn't mean that I was actually spending time with myself. And so this year I've also reflected a lot on like, who am I? What do I like when no one else is around? You know, if no one else is around to pick the restaurant, what do I like? Like, why do I react that way? Why am I drawn to this, but I'm not drawn to that? Why do I like this and why do I not like that? Where does that come from? Where do my tastes come from? Where do my preferences come from? Where, where are my behaviors coming from? Why do I do that?