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She's So Lucky
Stop Being So Realistic: Why You’re Playing Yourself By Playing It Safe [Solo]
00:46:32
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- [00:01]
Les
The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
- [00:12]
Unknown
Hello Clovers. Welcome to this week's episode of she's so Lucky. My name is Les. I'm your host. This podcast is all about creating our own luck. And some weeks I sit down with guests to talk about either how they created their own luck or to get their tips and strategies for creating their own luck, or helping us create our own luck. And some weeks I'm here solo and it's just you and me. And today is one of those days where it is just you and me. And today's episode is all about why we need to stop being so realistic and why being realistic is getting in the way of your luck. Now, this episode is inspired by a little experiment that I've been running on my TikTok page all summer. If you follow me on TikTok, you may have seen that I have just been posting a lot more content of me talking directly to the camera in ways that I typically reserve for this podcast. Or if you don't follow me on TikTok, you should. And I will leave my TikTok linked in the show notes so that we can connect there because I'm really actively trying to grow that community. TikTok, I mean, is a little controversial because who knows how long we'll have it and what's happening there. But from a content creator perspective, it really is the platform to be on. It's just the best way to get in front of new people. I have noticed that when I'm more active on TikTok, I get a lot more opportunities. It helps the podcast. And so earlier this summer I really had to kick it into gear and say, girl, you are being passed over for opportunities because you're playing on TikTok and you're not good playing, you're bad playing, and you're not being consistent. So I challenge myself to post on TikTok every day at least one video of me talking to the camera directly for 60 seconds. And I had no thoughts on niche or what that would be about. Just at some point every day when I have time, I open up the app, turn on the camera, and I talk for 60 seconds and what comes out comes out. And then I supplement that with other content like podcast clips or a trending sound or if there's something cute that I want to do, I do it. But every day I have been on that app for a minute now, talking for at least 60 seconds, and it has been a really great experiment because it's helped me be a lot more consistent. It's helped me feel a lot more comfortable talking over on that app because while I'm very comfortable speaking from a podcast perspective where I'm in studio and I am usually prepared with what I'm going to say, and I know that it can be edited before it goes live, TikTok does feel a little bit more off the cuff, and that has been a little bit more intimidating. But I'm tired of people basically having me up. Like the people who are getting opportunities are the people who are really active on Tick Tock. And I know and feel confident that I have a lot to offer content wise. And I know I'm that girl, but I get passed over for opportunities a lot because I'm not consistent. So it's really helped me with being consistent and just not overthinking content too much. And so honestly, every day it's like, what can I Talk about for 60 seconds today? And at the very beginning of this experiment, one of the first videos that I posted was about why we collectively need to stop being so realistic if we want to be more lucky. Now, I've been in a space over the past couple of months where I've really been back in my manifestation bag and I've just been back in my trying to mentally feel better bag because the spring for me was very tough. I did an episode about that and I've done some social media content about just how burnt out and depressed I was feeling. And so I was really trying to get myself out of that by coming back to things that help me feel better, getting back into my meditation practice, picking back up eft tapping and being really intentional about the language that I was using and the experiences that I wanted to call in. And so it's gotten me kind of back in this manifestation bag and it's helped me realize that so much of the language that I use and so much of the language that we use creates so much of our experience. Now with that, I will also say there are a lot of things that are wrapped in privilege that are wrapped in so many systemic factors. And so while I absolutely believe in the power of manifestation, and for me manifestation is like the process of receiving the blessings that are meant for us. I don't think that we can manifest ourselves out of oppression. Right. Like there are. There are limits to some of the things. Our minds are very powerful and our minds cannot necessarily undo hundreds of years of systemic things. So I just want to put that out there as a caveat. But I do think that with the thoughts that we have with the language that we use and with the way that we carry ourselves, that can dictate a lot of our experience. And so I was having moments around this time when I was beginning to be more active on TikTok where I was thinking a lot about the language that I use to describe myself, the language that I use to describe my experiences, the people that I hung out around and how I felt when I was around different people in different energies. And I was really inspired to talk about why I don't think that we should be so realistic all of the time. Now, the idea of being a little bit more delusional is not a new concept. And it's something that has been very popular on social media for the past couple of years. And I don't know if I necessarily love the idea that good things happening to us means we're delusional. I think that that also feeds into this concept that it's unrealistic to have good experiences. I know when I shared episode earlier this spring where I was talking about my mental health and I was talking about a lot of the challenges that I was having, people were very supportive. And that was an episode that a lot of you loved. And so many people were commenting like, oh, this is so real, this is so relatable. And while I appreciate that and while I'm glad that me sharing my experience has helped people not feel so alone, I really hate that the only time those types of responses are given is when we're sharing bad stuff. When I'm sharing, oh my gosh, I'm so burnt out and I'm exhausted and I hate everything. That's what everybody's like. Yes, me too. So real, so relatable. But good things are real too. And I think some of the language that we use can really get us kind of stuck in these cycles of really ruminating on the things that we don't want. And I felt myself going through that cycle and it's helped me really shift a lot of my language and my thinking. And so some of what I was thinking was about those interactions that we have when all we're doing is complaining. Now I think that it is really healthy to express emotions, to process things, to vent. But I know that we all have those friendships or those people that we know when we want to about something or when we want to vent or when we want to complain. They are our go to. You know that there are people in your life who, when you hit them up, you know it's going to be however many hours of just like going in about everything that is wrong. And I realized that I was having a lot of those interactions, and it was making me feel even more stuck. And so as I started to zoom out a little bit and as I started to reframe some of my own language, I realized that a lot of those event sessions, as we referred to them, we're often rooted in this idea of being overly realistic. This idea that the only things that we see as real are the things that are bad or negative, but on the inverse, the things that are positive are also just as real. And I don't mean that from a toxic positivity standpoint. I'm not telling anybody. Oh, just think positive. Because if you're somebody who is deeply depressed currently or you're having a depressive episode. Yeah. Thinking positive isn't necessarily what's going to get you out of that. You need treatment, you need care, potentially medical assistance. Like, I understand that. But this idea that the only things that are real and that are relatable are when we're down bad and sad is something that I actively want to push back on. I think that the goodness and the positivity and good things happening is not delusional. It is just as real as those times when we are down and out and struggling. And so I felt really inspired to talk about this on TikTok, and I ended up posting a video talking about why I think we need to focus on being a little bit less realistic. If your definition of realistic is constantly being down bad, and this video did not go viral by any means, but I felt really inspired to talk more about it. I think, especially if you have a background where you maybe don't come from a lot, or if you are the first person that you know to really step outside of, you know, a predisposed path, or you're the first person to do something different, it can feel really, really hard to stay on that path. And it's often because you're being told to be realistic. You are having other people's doubts and fears and insecurities and potentially shortcomings spoken into you. And realistic is basically being in the trenches in a lot of ways. And I just want to speak a little bit more encouragement to the people who maybe don't want to repeat that cycle and who want to step out of that. I know I certainly feel that way as somebody who has become more entrepreneurial, despite not necessarily having that modeled to me by people in my life. Having a hometown that is, you know, a lovely place, but people don't really leave people don't really step out and go to other cities or travel or really do things to have other experiences where I'm from.
- [10:39]
Why Choose a Sleep Number Smart Bed?
- [10:41]
Les
Can I make my sight softer?
- [10:43]
Unknown
Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler?
- [10:46]
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- [11:10]
Les
When I first had the idea for this podcast, it wasn't polished. It wasn't even public. It was just me, a notes app and a bunch of voice memos I recorded and initially was too afraid to share. I didn't have a brand or strategy, I just knew I wanted to create something. And that's the thing about starting something new. Whether it's a podcast, a product or a business, it feels like you have to know how to do everything at once. The design, the website, the emails, the marketing. It's overwhelming. But Shopify Shopify makes the business part simple. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to everyday creators like me when I was just starting out. They have hundreds of ready to use templates to help you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand. You don't need a tech background, just your vision and some time if you need help along the way. Shopify has AI tools that'll write product descriptions, optimize your photos, and even generate discount codes. They're built in email and social tools make it easy to launch campaigns and reach your people wherever they're scrolling. And the best part is, you're not on your own. With 24. 7 support and world class tools for everything from inventory to shipping, Shopify is like having a business partner that actually knows what they're doing. So if you've been sitting on a big idea, this is your sign. Turn your big business ideas into.
- [12:42]
Unknown
With.
- [12:42]
Les
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- [14:44]
Unknown
I remember my first few years out of college I worked at a local company or a company that had a really big local place in the city where I lived. Even though it is nationally known. And over the past few years, you know, that company has had some really unfortunate incidences that have landed it in the news for not so positive reasons. But at the time this was seen as a really prestigious place to work. So me landing a job here right out of college, I had so many people say this is it. This is as good as it can get. This is as good as your life is going to get working at this company. You better stay here for 30 years and get a pension. Even though they stopped giving out pensions literally the year that I started at the company. So that wasn't going to happen anyway. But I was constantly being fed this messaging of this one thing that to me felt a little mediocre. And that's not to Say that anybody who works there is mediocre. But I knew that my life had the potential to be so much more. And I felt mediocre. Staying in this really small bubble that I no longer felt suited me. Being told that that was the best that I could possibly have, or that was the most that I could possibly strive for, or that was as good as my life could get when I was the one living it, and it actually didn't feel very good at all. Took a really, really long time for me to step out of that and to be willing to try anything differently. And I spent so many years stuck in that place because I. I had an inkling that there was more for me. But I was constantly being given messaging to stay small, to stay here, you'll never do any better. This is the best that you can do. And I wish that I wouldn't have wasted so much time stuck in that space. Whether it was in those jobs, in that city, in relationships that were there. I really wish that I would have had the confidence to step out and to believe that there was more for me sooner. And often it was. Because where I'm from, even the opportunities that I had, even though to me I knew that I felt called for more, in a lot of ways, were still more than what other people were getting. And while I do have a sense of gratitude for that, again, that is measuring my own potential against other people's definitions of what they believe is possible for them. And so it was a multiple year process to really begin to understand what was possible for me. And even now being almost a decade out of that, I think I left that company in 2016. So we're coming up on a decade of being out of that situation and of, you know, me doing a lot of other things with my life and my career now that I could have only dreamed of then, I think I've still only scratched the surface of what's possible for me because we don't know all of what's possible for us, and there truly is no limit to what's possible for us. And I had to come to a point where it was like, I don't really care what other people are doing. I don't care what other people think is realistic. I don't care what's happening in this industry. And if people think that opportunities don't exist elsewhere, or if people don't think that someone like me should be able to get those opportunities, I know that I have my eye on a prize. And it's either that prize or something Better. And I don't really care if other people think it's possible or not. And in having that mindset shift almost 10 years ago of beginning to wonder what else could be possible outside of this really narrow definition that other people are trying to give me, it was my first experience into stepping out of other people's definition of what is realistic. And then I started questioning a lot of people around me. And then I started questioning some friendships that I had and some work relationships that I had and some romantic relationships that I had, where I realize that compatibility can only go to a certain point if there are people who are okay with a certain level of stagnation. And that doesn't mean that you can't still, you know, have friends who do different things, or if you're someone who desires to leave your hometown, that you can't still be friends with people that are in your hometown. I absolutely believe that you can. And I think that those types of relationships can still be important to keep you connected to where you come from in a way. But it means you got to know who to go to for what. So if you have people in your life who are constantly speaking, doubt and limiting beliefs over you, then those are the people to maybe hang out with and to talk about surface level things. Maybe you can, you know, talk about Love island or whatever it is the kids like to talk about these days. Maybe those are the people who you can catch up with and talk about more surface level things and talk about maybe what you're watching on TV or what you're listening to. But then have other people in your life, who are those expanders who get your dreams and who encourage you to think bigger. And have those be the people that you talk about your dreams with, and have those be the people that kind of push you a little bit more. And I think that there can be room for both in, you know, any healthy person's community spaces. So I'm also not a believer in just dropping people if they are not where you're at in their journey, or if they're content with something that you wouldn't be content with. It just means, okay, this is the person who I can bond with over certain things, but this is probably not who I'm going to go to when I need some encouragement or when I need to dream bigger, or when I need to think bigger. I also think that we are fed information from a very young age about what is realistic and what is not. When you are asked what you want to be when you grow up, you are Very celebrated. If you say you want to be a doctor, if you say you want to be a lawyer, you know, there are are a certain handful of kind of life paths that are routinely celebrated because they are seen as realistic. And if you do anything outside of that, or if you're somebody who doesn't know and you're on kind of a journey of exploration, that is highly discouraged. I think especially anything that involves creativity or art or expression is highly discouraged because it's not seen as realistic. And while no, maybe not everybody can have a career where they're earning a living doing something highly creative. It doesn't mean that you can't still express yourself in some ways, or it doesn't mean that you can't get there while you're still doing something else on the side. It's about finding that definition of what is manageable and realistic and affirming for you. But if you're trying to find what's real, the definition of what's real should really expand you. Not cause you to contract, not cause you to want to shrink, or not cause you to give up something that is really important to you. Now, does it mean you maybe need to be creative about how you get there? Sure. But it doesn't necessarily mean that you should give up on something that is really important to you. It just means that maybe there's another way to get there. Now, I also have an opinion that could potentially be unpopular because I think that there is often this. This notion that a lot of us have that in order to do something, to have something, to achieve something, to reach a new level, that we have to see somebody who is exactly like us doing it. Now, while it can absolutely be helpful, it can be helpful to have those models of people who are similar to us, who we can learn from and say, hey, okay, if this person can do it, so can I. Sometimes if you're charting new territory, you're going to have to be that person. You're going to have to be that first person who other people can then look to and say, hey, if they can do it, so can I. And so sometimes that does mean you're going to have to look for inspiration from people who are a little bit different than you. And I don't think that that's necessarily a bad thing. So many of us have shared experiences, but also so many of us have a unique combination of experiences. And so if you're waiting for somebody who mirrors your exact lived experience to inspire you to do anything, you might be waiting for a really long Time. Because not everybody is going to have your exact same combination of experiences and is going to want what you want. So you got to learn how to take the meat and leave the bones. So if you see something that is happening and maybe that something that's happening that's good for a person, maybe they, they've done something really creative or something interesting or had a really cool milestone or created a cool business, but because they have a different background than you, you automatically think, well, I can't do that. I can't do that because she comes from XYZ or because this person is that or that person is that. You're gonna have to overcome that feeling if you want to get to your version of that. And yes, if somebody has a different background than you, if somebody has more privileged than you, if somebody is maybe a little bit more well connected than you are, then yeah, your version of that may not look identical to theirs because maybe they're working with different resources, but it doesn't mean that what you want isn't possible. And when we immediately count ourselves out because we see people who are different than us achieve something and we assume that's why we're not doing ourselves any favors, we have to create whatever our version of that is and so we can take the inspiration to see, okay, yeah, this person created this, this business and they were given X amount of funding. And maybe I have tried and I'm running into challenges. Well, maybe I meant to take a different path to get to that point. This is inspiration that something is possible. Maybe I'm asking the wrong person. Maybe I'm taking, you know, a little bit of a detour to get there. But if we count ourselves out and we just assume that something isn't possible for us purely because someone who doesn't mirror our identical lived experience hasn't done it yet. You are closing yourself off to so much of what could be possible for you. Because maybe you are the one who is meant to be that blueprint. Maybe you were the one who is meant to be that model. And I know you're like, oh, my God, Les, I'm so tired of being the blueprint. I'm so tired of being that model. Listen, trust. Trust and believe. I understand. When I tell you how tired I am of being the first one to do something, when I tell you how tired I am of being the blueprint and how young of an age that started for me and how much I have had to work through it in therapy, I understand. And I also, unapologetically relentlessly have a life that I want. And so instead of succumbing to that pressure, it means that I'm in therapy to learn how to work through it and reprocess those emotions and learn how to transmute that that into something else. Because I refuse to have anything less than what is meant for me and I refuse to have anything less than my highest potential. And so yes, it is pressure. It is hard, it is exhausting. That is when we rest. That's when we use our tools. That is when we lean into our support systems. That is when we reprocess those feelings and then we get up and then we continue.
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Les
This time of year always pushes me to check in with myself. Physically, mentally, all of it. One of the most helpful things I've added to that process is function Health. I joined Function because it's the only health platform that gives you access to the kind of data most people never see and the insights to actually take action. Inside Function, you can test over 160 biomarkers, from heart, health and hormones to toxins, inflammation and stress. Stress. You can even access MRI and CT scans, all tracked in one secure place over time. That's why top health leaders like Dr. Mark Hyman, Dr. Andrew Huberman and Dr. Jeremy London are all behind Function Health. Function has helped me finally stop guessing and start knowing what's actually going on in my body so I can give it what it needs. Your results are personalized and come with insights from real doctors with no pressure to buy some supplements or anything else. Lab visits are super easy with over 2,000 locations across the US and it's $499 for the year, which is just 1.37 a day for health info that could cost over $10,000 if you tried to test for all of these things on your own. Learn more and join using my Link. The first 1000 people to sign up will get a 100 credit total towards their membership. Visit functionhealth.com Lucky or you can use the gift code Lucky100 at sign up to own your health. I'm excited to share that this podcast is sponsored by the Real Real the best place to shop Authenticated luxury bags, clothing, watches, and so much more. Lately, I've been a lot more intentional about how I shop, focusing on quality over quantity, curating pieces I really love, and finally exploring some of those luxury brands I've had on my wish list list forever. I've always admired brands like Prada and the Row. Let's be honest, my budget has boundaries and that is why I love the RealReal. I can find incredible pieces that actually make sense. Plus I'm shopping more sustainably. I've even started selling on the RealReal, which means I can clear out my closet and use those earnings to invest in something new to me and special. What I love most is that the RealReal makes luxury feel attainable. You can score pieces from Gucci, Fendi and so many more at up to 90% off retail. And everything is authenticated in person by their experts. So you know it's the real deal. It's also a win for the planet. Instead of buying new, I'm giving existing pieces a second life. And with over 37 million authenticated items rehomed, the RealReal is helping redefine what sustainable style looks like. Oh, and here's a tip. They drop new arrivals at 10am and 7pm Eastern Daily, so you'll want to set a reminder. The RealReal is the world's largest and most trusted resource for authenticated luxury resale. With thousands of new arrivals daily. No one does resale like the RealReal. And now you can get 25 off your first purchase when you go to therealreal.com Lucky that's therealreal.com Lucky to get your 25 off. Start shopping now at therealreal.com Lucky let me just say Simply Pop is exactly what I didn't know I needed. I've been on a lookout for a drink that's fun, fruity and just feels good to sip on the summer. And Simply Pop is that and more. This is a prebiotic soda, not to be confused with probiotic, that's made with real fruit juice and comes in five amazing flavors pineapple, mango, lime, Strawberry, Citrus punch and fruit punch. Now personally, I'm a citrus punch girl right now because it's bright, it's juicy and seriously tasty. Tastes like summer. It's got that soda fizz without feeling too heavy or overly sweet. And here's what makes it a staple for me. There is no added sugar. It's sweetened with juice and monk fruit extract so it tastes amazing, but you don't get that sugary crash after. Plus, it has 6 grams of prebiotic fiber to support gut health and a bonus of zinc and vitamin C for immune support. I mean, talk about a drink that has benefits. So whether I'm headed to a shoot, winding down after a workout, or just just craving something fun and fizzy in the afternoon, Simply Pop is that Go to. It's fun, it's a little nostalgic, and honestly, it gives flavor that pop. So if you want to try it for yourself, find Simply Pop and any of its five juicy flavors by visiting cokeurl.com Simply Pop that's C-O-K-E U R L.com Simply Pop.
- [31:08]
Unknown
I had also shared a video. This was part of my little TikTok experiment. I also posted a shorter version of it to Instagram as well, where I was talking about part of being a lucky girl. Right? Because that's what we're doing here. And lucky girl can be a a gender neutral expression because we're beginning to have more and more clovers of different genders tuning into the show. Part of being in that lucky energy is not the absence of obstacles, it's not the absence of mistakes, it's not the absence of challenge. It is your rebound rate. And that doesn't necessarily mean that you just don't process things or that you don't feel your feelings. Right. I had some people kind of arguing with me in the comments that the the term bounce back rate, and maybe there is a better term for it, but I don't know. That's just how my brain works. And this is my podcast and those are the words that I choose to use. That bounce back great can imply that people just need to get over things quickly. And I don't necessarily mean that. That's not what I was saying. And I do think that when there are big challenges that we have and things that require a lot of processing, then yes, we absolutely should process those things. But I do think sometimes, myself included, we can get down and we can stay down over things that actually don't need to get us down as much as they do. Right. We can sometimes get tripped up over culminations of little things. It's like those days where everything goes wrong and it's a bunch of little things that have us ready to crash out. How quickly and how effectively are we able to bounce back from those little crash outs? I'm not talking big t trauma of big things that really deeply hurt us. Yet. Yes, process that, feel that, take your time with that. But for those little things that trip us up and that, you know, make us want to quit and throw in the towel when really what they are are like little lessons that we can bounce back from. That is what I'm talking about when it comes to bounce back rate, like, I will be totally honest with you, and this is a perfect example. These braids, I hate them, actually. I absolutely hate them. I showed them a photo of what I wanted and described what I wanted and it was not this at all. I actually don't like the way these turned out at all. I had a mishap where I was trying to cut off some of the extra hair and I ended up cutting off almost a whole braid, some of my hair included, within hours of getting them done. And that was very upsetting as somebody who is on camera and knew that I then, right after getting it done, had to record a bunch of podcast episodes and had to record a bunch of content. But that is an example of what is, in the grand scheme of things, a very small mishap. That is not something that requires a lot of emotional processing. It means that for a few weeks, unfortunately, I'm not gonna like how my hair looks. But because I invested already time and money into getting it done, it is what is. And you know, these podcast episodes and this footage will live on forever. But in the grand scheme of things, I'm gonna take these out in a few weeks. And it doesn't mean that I don't still show up to the studio to record. It doesn't mean that I didn't still pick up my phone to do my 62nd TikToks. It means I had that moment of disappointment and I was real disappointed when I cut my own hair. That was a really humbling moment, unfortunately. But it doesn't mean that I didn't still do what I needed to do. And within 30 minutes of that whole mishap, I'd still picked up my phone to record my 60 second video that I committed to the very next day. Here I am in the studio recording these episodes because I have a commitment to my community to show up every week and to create this content. And also I know where I want to be in life, and where I want to be in life requires me to show up in this studio, even sometimes when I'm not feeling it, when I don't want to be on camera, when I don't like, like how things are coming together. It's about how quickly can we bounce back from those little annoyances that sometimes can lead to a big crash out. It's about not reacting to the little things that can sometimes take us out but don't need to. So what are those little mishaps, those little things that can rock you off your game and how can you build up the resilience to not let those little things knock you down? Because you're going to want, want all of that energy and juice and mojo for when you need to process the big thing so I'm not saying, you know, don't feel your feelings, don't handle those. Those triggers of, like, bigger things that you may have. But I'm saying let the small stuff be small stuff and learn how to bounce back so that it doesn't get in the way of your next good opportunity or your next best thing. And I think sometimes when we get so focused on letting the smaller things get us down. And again, I'm talking small things like, I don't like how my hair looked. I don't like how I look in that top. Bye. This person hasn't texted me back, right? Those little things, we get so focused in that. Because again, that's realistic, that we can miss the forest for the trees, we can forget, get what is that bigger thing that I'm working towards? And is this thing that is actually, in the grand scheme of things, a pretty small blip on my radar? Small blip on my radar and also very small in terms of what's going on in the world. How am I going to not let this stop me from doing what it is I need to do? Because that good stuff is also realistic because my big dream. It's also realistic because that thing that I really want to have, that goal that I want to reach, whether that's a work goal, whether that's getting in shape shape, whether that's starting a business, whether that is a certain relationship that you want to be in, that sounds too good to be true. That's also realistic. Nothing is too good to be true if you are willing to believe that you deserve it, and if you're willing to do what it is you need to do to be in alignment with it. So I want you to, like, remove the idea that anything is too good to be true, that anything is not for you, because I promise, it is so possible for you. And it may not look like it looks for someone else, it may not be exactly what it is for someone else. But I firmly believe that you deserve everything that is on the desire of your heart. Now, do you believe you deserve it? And sometimes the ways that we treat other people actually hold up a mirror to what we believe we deserve. So if you see someone else that has a good thing, what is your response to that? If your response is to feel away about it, or if your response is to be nasty about it, that could hold up a mirror to what you believe you deserve. Because why does it bother you that this other person has a good thing? It doesn't mean that you can't have a Good thing. There's no finite cap of good things that are available in the world. Even though that's what we've been programmed to believe, especially as women, we are so often taught to be in competition with one another. Because if we can continue shrinking ourselves and being in competition and competing and tearing each other down, then we can be too exhausted to take up space and to do the things that we know we really want to do. But if we can learn how to take a step back from that and to see that for what it is, and if we can learn that there is no cap on goodness, if we can learn that what is available to us is not on a budget, like we as, as human, maybe on a budget, but what is available to us in life is not necessarily. We are able to tap into so much more and we honestly just feel better. It feels good to not be a hater. It feels good to not feel a certain way when you see good things happening to other people. And that's not to make you feel bad if you do. We're human. We all have those moments where we see something and we're like, oh, I wish that was me. But how can you take that and how can you spin it to then show you what is possible? Even if that person who has that thing is different than you, it's still possible for you. So how can you learn how to transmute that energy? And how can you say, ah, that's a new. That's a new version of what is realistic. If I can think it, then it's realistic. If I can see a version of it, even though what's meant for me might be a different version, then I think that that's realistic. And when we are on the other side, when we have people in our lives who are telling us about their big dreams and about, you know, the things that they would love to have, have, let's make sure that we're not the ones who are also trying to dim their spirits and come at them with what's realistic. Now granted, do all things within reason, right? If there is somebody who is like, I'm going to quit my high paying job to do XYZ business and they haven't even started said business. There is a way to communicate now, friend. Now we might have things out of order here. Is there another path you can take to get to where you want to go as opposed to, you know, raining on their parade and telling them all the reasons why they can't do it and trying to speak doubt and limiting beliefs into Them. That is also why I don't love the language around being delusional. Because I do think sometimes it can be dangerous. Like yes, we are all people of the world. We all unfortunately are subject to capitalism and our government and so many things that are, are really challenging and that deplete us in a lot of ways. So yeah, there are certain ways that we have to move in these systems in order to be safe and to navigate them while still having our well being intact. So that's why I don't love this whole idea of just be fully delusional and just quit and everything will work out. I firmly believe everything can work out. But we have to be smart with how we do it. But being smart doesn't mean speaking doubt and disbelief into it. It means how can we find solutions, how can we create a plan, how can we align with what it is that we want? And how can we create an environment for ourselves and for our communities, for those opportunities to really thrive and prosper? That is what being a little bit more unrealistic means to me. And that is the energy that I would love to see so many of us have collectively that I think we genuinely need. Because the past five going on six years have been really, really freaking hard. And I especially think since the pandemic there has been something that has shifted. And I know so many of us have seen it, particularly on social media where people are just mean and can't wait to be mean to one another and to say something nasty. And I think it's because collectively there has been so much pain. And unfortunately the powers that be, they're trying to inflict more pain on us, they're not necessarily helping. So what can we do to help one another, right? What can we do to try to minimize the amount of pain that is around us for ourselves and for other people? How can we lead with a little bit of kindness and start to create these new definitions of what we see as possible so that more people can believe in themselves and not need to spew so much nastiness that any of us is subject to being on the receiving end of the at any time. So I want you to think about what is one way that you can maybe be a little bit less realistic? What is one goal or aspiration or thing that you would really love to do or achieve or have or experience that you've maybe talked yourself out of? And what would it take for that to be possible for you? And it may not be tomorrow, tomorrow, it may not be next week, it may not perfectly fall out of the sky. But I do think that if you approach it like it is a problem that you are looking to solve and you get really creative with those solutions, I believe that whatever it is is going to be possible for you. And so your homework upon listening to this episode or watching it if you're on YouTube, is to journal on that. What is something that you've talked yourself out of that you thought you were being realistic by casting aside and what would it take for you to start believing in that thing again? So I want you to have your, your journal out. I want you to do that for me maybe sometime over the next like week. Journal on that. Go to our latest post on Instagram at She's so Lucky podcast or our latest post on Tick Tock at She's the Lucky podcast and let us know what is something that you are choosing to believe is possible for you that you previously had talked yourself out of. I mean, we can have a really kind comment section and community gathering, encouraging one another and being expanders for one another as we speak. More life into what we believe is possible for us. So that's going to be your homework work before the next episode drops, depending on when you're listening to this. So that is what I have for you today. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of she's so Lucky. If you are not already subscribed to the show, please make sure you subscribe. You can subscribe on YouTube, on Apple, on Spotify, let's connect on social media if we haven't already. I will have my handles linked in the description so that you can follow me on Instagram, you can follow me on TikTok and see these videos, y'. All. I'm trying, I'm trying to keep my little 60 seconds going, okay? And grow the community over there. And also you can follow she's so Lucky Pod on Instagram and Tick Tock. Thank you again for tuning in and I will see you next week. Thank you for tuning in to this.
- [45:49]
Les
Week'S episode of she's so Lucky. If you're ready to create your own luck, hit that subscribe button wherever you get your podcasts or on YouTube so you don't miss an episode and head to the show. Notes for resources, links and discount codes. And if you are really feeling lucky, we would appreciate your rating and your review.
- [46:07]
Unknown
It really helps us be able to improve the show to get great guests.
- [46:11]
Les
And to understand what you want to hear more of. Thank you for tuning in and I'll.
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Unknown
See you next week. Foreign.
- [46:23]
Welcome to Dear Media irl, a live experience for listeners, trendsetters, culture shifters and fans. This fall, we're bringing your favorite shows and voices to the stage in Dallas for a full day of real conversations on entrepreneurship, brand building, and meaningful creativity, all with the creators you know and love. If you're in the area or you need an excuse to get a win way, this is your sign. Head to dearmedia.comevents for tickets and more information.
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Please note that this episode may contain.
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Les
Paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.
- [46:57]
Unknown
Individuals on the show may have a.
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Les
Direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.