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The following podcast is a Dear Media Production.
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If you truly want to be lucky, tap into this series and you'll learn how to get exactly what you want. So last month on she's so Lucky, we broke the rules, and this month we're coming for what's ours. Because February is all about how to get what you want. First, we have some housekeeping to take care of. If you are not subscribed to the she's so Lucky channel, make sure you hit that subscribe button so that you can get new episodes every single Tuesday. Because we're dropping amazing episodes that will help you be the luckiest girl you know. Also, in the new year, we started something pretty cool, which is weekly episode companion guides. So every Tuesday after the episode drops, I send out a weekly newsletter that is actually a listening guide to accompany every episode. So you will get key takeaways, you'll get extra resources, you'll get book recommendations, you'll get journal prompts that will help you take what you hear on this podcast and actually apply them to your life. Because lucky girls don't just listen. Lucky girls take action. And I have so many amazing things for you. Every Friday, we're also dropping the Lucky Cut, which are abbreviated versions of our episodes on our YouTube channel, she's so Lucky, where you'll basically get the meat of the episode. So if you don't have a full hour to dedicate to the full episode, tune in to the Lucky cut on our YouTube channel every Friday to get the juice. Last month I talked about breaking the rules and overcoming these little mindset plateaus that I know have been holding me back and that a lot of you resonated with and said that they've been holding you back too. And something that I'm really embracing for 2026, not only being in my villain era, obviously am I not giving villain. If you follow me on Instagram or TikTok, you may have also been picked up on that. Because I'm not playing with y'.
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All.
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I'm not holding your hands. I'm not knocking. I'm not. I'm giving it to you straight there, and I'm giving it to you straight here. And I'm also giving it to myself straight about being really honest about what I want. And I've had to do a lot of unpacking and a lot of reprogramming to give myself permission to truly go after the things that I want. For a very long time, I pretended to be okay with accepting less. I'm not talking about my Name. Don't do any puns with my name now. You know what I'm saying? I pretended like I was okay with having things that were a version of what I wanted, but not quite it. I pretended like I was okay with having a really small niche podcast when I knew I actually want a big one. I was okay living a really small life when I knew I wanted an extraordinary one. And the season that I'm currently in is unapologetically coming for my things and saying, actually, I do want this. I want a big podcast. I want a big life. I want lots of monies. I want to take care of my parents. I want some pretty purses, too, okay? And there's nothing wrong with that. And I'm being super honest about that in how I move. And learning how to get honest with myself about the things that I truly want, I think brings them so much closer. And I knew that I was not the only person who was in this space of wanting to unapologetically go after the things that we want. So many of us work so hard. We work so hard, we put so much thought and intention and effort and how we move around and we receive so much messaging that keeps us small, that tells us that it's okay to accept less and to not want the things that we want. And I'm here to say, actually, we can have the things that we want and we can want the things that we want out loud. And that doesn't mean that we don't move from a place of gratitude, because I do think it's very important to be where your feet are and to have an attitude of gratitude in everything you do. And wanting more doesn't make you any less grateful. Grateful for what you have. So let's get after it. As I was thinking about how do I proceed with getting what it is I truly want, the first question that I asked myself was, are you sure you want what you say you want? I think that there can be so many outside influences when it comes to making us think that we want certain things. And that can be something as small as you are scrolling on TikTok and you see an outfit or a beauty product that someone is using, and now you think you want it to. As big as internal programming that maybe comes from your family, that comes from your religion, that comes from the media, that comes from the community around you. We are so easily swayed by these outside influences. As I prepare to receive what it is I want or something even better, I've had to get super honest with myself to Say, is this a true desire of my soul and of my heart and of my every being? Or do I just think I want this because other people tell me that I should want this? I remember I was 21 years old and I had just graduated college and it was like my first weekend back at my parents house after graduating from college. My first Sunday back at church and talking to the pastor of our church and he congratulated me on finishing school and he said, well, you're probably gonna start working on some grandbabies for us soon, right? And I said, who, who is he talking to? Did somebody else graduate? Who? He's, who? He's referring to me. What? Was already planting the seed that okay, my schooling was done, it's time to now settle down and pop out some babies. I was 21 years old. Two one, the ink was barely dry on my ID, I barely could have a legal drink and already this programming was being kind of pumped into me. Now because I am a strong willed heathen, it kind of went in one ear and out the other and I was like, no bro, I gotta start work on Monday at my corporate job, I gotta get my own apartment, moving out of my parents house, like I got other stuff to do. There's enough grandbabies running around here that you. It will suffice. But it was an example of how much seeds are planted in our minds telling us what it is we think we should want and when we think we should want it. That may not even be us, may not even be our actual desire. But if you hear that enough, if you're not as much of like a heathen as I am, and as defiant unfortunately, slash fortunately as I am, in some ways you can be a lot more susceptible to that. Or if you hear that over and over and then the next thing you know, 10 years later you are a decade down the road in a life that maybe wasn't in alignment with your actual desires. So as we start thinking about getting what we want, it's really important to make sure that you're going after things that you actually want and when you actually want them. That example that I just gave wasn't vilifying that person who said that to me. It was not even vilifying the idea of settling down and starting a family. I think that that's really Beautiful for my 21 year old self. It wasn't appropriate and I think that age is, is too young for those things. But maybe later down the road with some life experience, that could have been an appropriate question. It's really going to depend on you and what it is you want and what is actually appropriate for you. I also think oftentimes when we are afraid to admit what we want out loud, it's because we're afraid of what other people are going to say. We're afraid that other people are going to talk us out of our dreams. We're afraid that other people are going to think that we're asking for too much. We're afraid that people are going to think that we're crazy, that they're going to tell us that we can't do it, that they're going to provide all of these reasons why we can't do it, that they're going to tell us to be realistic. And this is why you can't necessarily look to outside people, and particularly people with small minds and small visions, for directions for where you're going, especially if they've never been where it is that you're trying to go. Though wanting more is not a crime, and wanting what's put on your heart is not delusional to ask for. I think oftentimes we've been programmed to romanticize the idea of being humble when we know that we are meant for and desire and have the capacity for more. And I don't think that humility is a bad thing. I think that it's a good thing to move through the world with some humility. I think it's good to be respectful of others and to have just. Just some tact in terms of being able to read a room. But if that means compromising your core essence and who it is you know you truly want to be, then, yeah, that idea of being humble, it's not worth it. And oftentimes the people who want you to be humble the most and who have the most to say about the humility are the people who have the most to gain from you continuing to stay small. Because you continuing to stay small is what benefits them. It is what makes them feel comfortable. That is why oftentimes when people begin elevating, they have the hardest time and feel like they receive the least amount of support from the people who are closest to them. Because when you begin to expand and to elevate, what you're doing is you're holding up a mirror to those people's excuses. And it's very easy to see the success and the luck and the favor of people who are far from us, because we can then create all of the stories about why they're so lucky and why they have the things that they have. But then when your neighbor, the person right next to you, starts getting those things and you start realizing, oh, maybe my excuses don't hold as much weight as I thought they do, that is when things get real. And that is why it can sometimes feel like the people closest to you take the longest to come around when you're on your come up. And I don't necessarily think that you have to cut people off. I think it means that you need to know who to go to for what. That when you're in a space of expanding and you're ready to talk about expansion and you need to be pumped up, then maybe that person who is close to you in your life, who is just not there yet and able to do that for you, that's just not who you talk to about that. You know, I don't necessarily believe in cutting people off in that way if they are family, close friends, people who are really close to you. But it means that when you have those big dreams, those big goals, you're working on your business, you're doing this, you're doing that, and that's not the person who you go to for that. If you know that they're only going to speak humble BS to you, then you gotta find some other like minded people who you can mastermind with to share those experiences with. And I bet that those people who are already in your life will eventually come around. And I say this because I have absolutely experienced it. And so as I'm reflecting on this for myself, I realized I don't want a small podcast. I want a media empire. I'm saying it, I'm claiming it, and I'm doing the work to make it happen. I have a feeling that you have a desire that you are too afraid to say out loud or to admit to yourself that you truly want. And right now it's just you and me. I want you to admit it right now. I'm here listening. I won't judge you. This is a safe space to admit that big desire that you have. And I'm not going to make you feel bad about it. In fact, I'm probably going to be the one to tell you to think bigger and, and to come up with an even bigger desire until it is big enough to be worth your energy. So something that we're not doing here at she's so Lucky is we are not romanticizing the struggle. We are not guilting one another into being satisfied with less than what we truly want and deserve. We know that we can operate from a space of gratitude while we still yearn for more and strive for more. And we know that we won't get more if we keep pretending like we don't want it. If you have not already admitted what your desire is, now is your time to do so. And even if you don't want to say it out loud, maybe you're listening to this on the train. Okay, I get it, you don't want to say it out loud. Write it down. Write it down in your journal. Write it down in your notes app. What is that big, juicy, scary desire that is truly on your heart that you are afraid to admit? Admit it right now, even if you're just writing it down. Make it real, make it plain, and don't water it down for anybody.
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At this point you're probably tired of hearing me talk about sleep, but I can't overemphasize how important it is because I've learned that how I wind down at night is directly connected to how I show up the next day. When my sleep is good, my mood is better, my focus is better, and honestly, my skin is better too. My nighttime routine has become a non negotiable and that's where osea's Dream collection comes in. Using the Dream Night Serum and Dream Night Cream has become my signal that the day is done. Laptop closed, nervous system off duty. They're clinically tested formulas powered by bioretinol and they're designed to help reduce the visible signs of stress while you sleep. Dryness, dullness, fine lines, loss of firmness, all the little ways life shows up on your face. These products feel amazing on the skin. The texture, the scent, the way my skin feels instantly comforted. It genuinely helps me relax. And OCA just launched their Dream Bioretinol Body Serum which is already in heavy rotation for me. It's a full body restorative serum with bioretinol, red seaweed, magnesium and lavender. It helps visibly firm, sweet, smooth and improve elasticity with less irritation than traditional retinol. Plus it promotes this calming wind down energy that makes falling asleep feel easier and you get to wake up with softer, smoother, more radiant skin. Give your skin a rest with clean clinically tested skin care from osea. And right now we've got a special offer just for our listeners. Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code bbg@o malibu.com even on days when I'm laying low, I still care about how I start the day. What I drink in the morning is part of how I Set my energy, my focus, and my mood. And that's why I keep R.W. knudsen in my fridge. It's an easy way to treat my everyday routine with a little more intention. R.W. knudsen crushes only the best ingredients, so you can crush everything you do. So it's not about doing the most in the morning. It's about choosing something that supports you and still makes the moment feel elevated. Whether I'm easy into the day, taking a pause between meetings or just doing something small for myself, those little choices add up. One of my staples is RW Knudsen Organic Just Pineapple Juice. It's bright, refreshing, naturally sweet, and supports digestion and immunity, which our bodies definitely need during these winter months. And when I want something that feels good for my body, I reach for RW Knudsen Organic Just Cranberry Juice. Cranberries are known for supporting the urinary tract, heart and gut health.
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And.
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And it feels like a simple way to take care of yourself without overthinking it. And if you have a long day ahead, RW Knudsen Organic Beet Juice fits perfectly into that routine. Beets are often associated with circulation and heart health, and it's a small way to show up for yourself before the day gets really long. That's what R.W. knudson does best. It fits into real life. No pressure, no perfection. Just small, intentional choices that feel doable. With R.W. knudsen Crush 100% of your day, morning, afternoon, evening, and all the moments in between. With 100%, 100% juice and no added sugar. Pick up a bottle at your local grocery store today.
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Now, the next thing is that if you truly want to win, if you truly want to be the version of you who gets that big, juicy, lucky, amazing desire, you have to stop thinking that you have to be somebody else to do it. You actually need to be more of your yourself to get that desire, because that desire is coming from deep down in your soul. It means your soul wants it, or in some way, there is a version of you who already has it. So pretending to be like somebody else is not going to bring you closer to it. You actually have to be more of you to get closer to that inner soul desire. We've recently had a few episodes where I had Tricia Lee on the show, and she talks a lot about finding that unfair advantage. She talks about being so good at what she does that when she shows up, it's just unfair because she herself is so stellar at leaning into her strengths. Next week I have an episode where we'll be talking more about the spiritual elements of this, but it's really about understanding your innate ability to carry through this mission that only you have. And this is something that I'm leaning into in real time. And I've been experiencing this a lot when it comes to my work. So I've been creating content for 12 years now. And for a lot of that time, I was trying to be kind of a traditional influencer. I would post kind of Get Ready with me's, I would post links to different things, and I would do these kind of vlogs that were just very similar to what everybody else was doing. I would see other people have success with something and I would think, okay, I need to do my version of that. And while there's nothing wrong with that per se, I was trying to be something that I'm just not. I was not necessarily leaning into my innate gifts. When I think about the platforms that I have created, the community that I have built. Why people come to me I am not somebody who people come to to buy a lip gloss. I am not somebody people come to because they want a link to an outfit doesn't mean that my outfits are bad. It doesn't mean my makeup doesn't eat, because I've been working really hard and improving both of those things over the past few years. But that's not what people come to me for. People come to me to grow, to elevate, to expand. They come to me for conversation. They come to me because they like my ideas, because they like the words that I use. They like that I introduce them to new people and books and concepts on this podcast. That is what my gift is. That is what people come to me for. And so for so long, I. I was finding myself not really getting the success that I was looking for, because I was leaning into gifts that just weren't mine. I was leaning into assignments that just weren't mine. And over the past few months, I've really stripped a lot of that away and I've focused more on my core essence of I'm not a sell flip a link kind of girl. I'm somebody who can come up with a good word real quick on the spot, pull out my phone, record it, and have it resonate with a lot of people and have that good word motivate people to get up and go after their goal. And there was a part of me that knew that, because that's what this podcast is. Even in its prior version. That's what it's always been. I am finding so much more alignment with opportunity and just how I feel in my work because I'm leaning into what my gift is. So for you I want you to figure out what is that unique edge? What is is the version of you that is even more you that you can be and lean into to get what you want. What is it that you're really good at? Maybe you are a really good link ltk girly. Maybe you are a really great speaker. Maybe you are super organized. Maybe you are an incredible teacher. Maybe you are really great at gathering people and building community. Maybe you are like a math whiz. Maybe you can finish a book in a day and your book reviews eat. No gift is insignificant, but you have to figure out what yours is specifically and you have to fully lean into it because you getting your desire is on the other side of fully embracing and using your gift. Also, as I think more about my gifts and really leaning into them, it's made me want to have a bit more ownership over this space in particular. And in a lot of ways I think that I have let my little like libra placement, people pleaser energy seep into my work in a lot of ways where I want to keep everybody happy and I want everything that I say and share to be super neutral. Even if people maybe project certain ideas onto me and what I create where I'm like, oh, that, that wasn't the intention, but okay, I'll let you think that. Like some examples, recently I've seen just an uptick in people sharing the show and sharing my content, which I so appreciate. A few times. This has only been a couple of times I have noticed that people have referred to it as a soft life podcast. It's happened twice, two different times. So not a lot a few times compared to like the grand scheme of things, but two times I've noticed people specifically call it a soft life podcast. And I've thought, huh, maybe in some of the older Balance Black Girl episodes that were more wellness focused and a bit more focused on things like the journaling, the meditation, the this, the that that could be construed as soft life. But at least for the past maybe two years or so of the show, even before the rebrand, I was like, I don't know if it's really given soft life. At least from my understanding of the soft life. Now I don't think anybody should have a hard life or deserves a hard life. I think that there are elements of life that have softness that I want us to all have. But when I think about my energy, the energy that I'm bringing to my life, as well as. She's so lucky. And what she's so lucky is truly about. It's about getting up and getting after it. It's about having the audacity to create. Create the life that you truly want. And are there elements of softness to that? Absolutely. But is everything all soft all the time? Absolutely not. Is promoting losing your financial autonomy, particularly to somebody of the male species, something that I would ever recommend or promote? Absolutely not.
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That is the last thing I would tell you to do. If anything, what I do and what this space is about, it's about getting your money. It's about building what's yours that nobody can take from you. That is the true essence of she's so lucky in my mind. But I realize I have not come out of my mouth and specifically said that. I have not said, oh, no, we're not doing that version of the soft life over here, baby. You can you build some things and then have the softness on top of what you built? Sure. But if you think this is a show that's going to help you find a man to provide a soft life for you, maybe I got a dream to sell you, and it ain't that one. Okay, that's not. That's not what we do here. But because I have never accepted, explicitly said that, then, yeah, somebody could get that idea. And so also, as I'm thinking more about being very intentional about stating my desires, it's also really important that I'm super clear about what I'm building and what I'm creating and what I can and can't do for you. And that is just an example of something that I know I can't do for you. But if you are interested in building an amazing life that you could potentially share with other people, we love that. Right? We love all the things. But you have something that you want to create and you're ready to get after it. You're ready to go create some luck, which does unfortunately take some work. Then I got you. You're in the right place. That's what this is. So I say all of that to say it is very important to get crystal clear on what your desires are and what it is you have to offer, what your unfair advantage is that nobody can take from you, and that nobody can do better than you. And again, if you don't want people to be confused about what that is, don't be like me, waiting 87 years into what you're doing to explicitly state what it is, state it now and be super clear and stand on it. And maybe it will repel people, but it's going to repel the people that you didn't necessarily, that you weren't talking to anyway. And for the right people that your gifts resonate with, they're going to stick around and they're going to be so supportive and it's going to provide so much value. So to unlock what your unfair advantage is, I want you to think about the following questions. One, what do people actually come to you for? And I'm not talking about your job title. I'm talking about what recommendations do people always ask you for? What insights do people ask you for? What are the questions you get over and over? Do people ask you for restaurant wrecks or book wrecks or help with a problem or for advice about certain things that's going to unlock your unfair advantage? Two, what has always been easy for you that other people may find challenging? And three, this is where we're gonna, we're gonna talk our stuff. We're gonna be who we think we are. Where do you secretly know that, like, you're the best in the room. When do you walk into a room and you're like, oh, I do this. You see something being done and you're like, I do this, I do that. I am the one to do that when be honest about it. Listen, we're getting what we want this month. This is not a space where anybody's going to talk down on you for popping your stuff. This is a safe space to pop it. So brag on yourself and what your gifts are. So a little while ago I had a video that went a little bit viral on both Instagram and TikTok where I essentially said, there is no tip trick or piece of self help that can replace having that dog in you. And I did not expect that video to go up and to resonate with people as much as it did. But here's what happened. Here's. Here's how that video came to be over the holiday break. I was sitting on my couch, I was doing a little bit of doom scrolling. One of my mutuals videos popped up and he was basically talking about how his career as a creator came to be and he was talking about the other career path that he had before becoming a creator and all of the challenges he ran into and just his persistence in moving towards a career that felt like it resonated for him. And I could relate to a lot of his story. He had a very different background than me and did not have a lot of the same experiences. But the mindset that he was describing, having just that, like, can't stop, won't stop mentality. I thought, yeah, you're telling this story. I'm like, yeah, I would be doing all the same things. And I thought about my own story on a different track and a different path where I made very similar moves and had very similar thoughts. And the thing that popped into my head was just like, yeah, you just gotta have that dog in you. That. That was just. That was the best way that I could sum it up. And then I ended up, you know, opening up my camera and recording that video, and it ended up being a whole thing. I got a lot of questions about having that dog in you and what it meant and how we can cultivate it. And so I did actually end up writing a whole piece on substack, if you want to go more deep into that topic. But I do think that if there are big things that you want, if you have audacious goals for your life, if you are creating something out of nothing that is beyond what it is you see everybody in your immediate vicinity doing, having that dog in you is something that is certainly going to help. Foreign.
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Always makes me reflect on how I'm actually taking care of myself. And for me, mental health is a big part of that. There have been so many moments where I've thought I could really use support right now, during burnout, stressful times, or just feeling overwhelmed. But actually finding a therapist who takes insurance can feel way harder than it should be. Mental health care shouldn't feel confusing or inaccessible, especially when you already have insurance insurance. It shouldn't feel like another obstacle course. That's why I love what Rula is doing. Rula is a healthcare company that makes it easier to connect with quality in network mental health care so you can actually use the benefits you already have. They partner with over a hundred insurance plans, which brings the average cost down to about 15 per session. Making therapy feel realistic, not like something you try for a month and then have to stop. I love how intentional their matching process is. Rula doesn't just pair you with whoever's available. They take your goals, preferences, and what working through and give you a curated list of licensed therapists who are a good fit, which makes a huge difference when you're trying to make real progress. There's no long wait lists and you can often get started as soon as the next day. If this is the year you want to take your mental health seriously in a way that actually lasts, this is a great place to start this year. Make one change you can actually stick with and support your mental health. Visit rula.com Lucky to get started. That's R U L A.com Lucky for mental health care that's actually built to last I have been laser focused on getting my eight hours of sleep a night like never before and previously I thought I was sleeping fine, but switching my mattress to ELISA made me realize what real rest actually feels like. It has that soft, elevated hotel bed feeling, but with the kind of support that makes you wake up feeling aligned instead of stiff. What I love is that Leesa designs their mattresses based on how people actually sleep. Whether you're a side sleeper, a back sleeper where you switch positions all night, it feels tailored to you. Not too soft, not too firm, just that perfect balance from where your body can actually relax. From the first night. I noticed the difference. The materials feel premium, the comfort feels intentional, and I wake up feeling more rested. When you sleep better, everything feels easier. Your mood is better, your focus is better, and you're just more grounded throughout the day. Another thing I really appreciate is how seamless the whole experience is. Leesa mattresses are designed and assembled in the US they offer free shipping, easy returns and a 120 night sleep trial so you can actually test it out in your own space and make sure it's right for you. If you've been thinking about upgrading your sleep this year, this is your moment. Go to leesa.com for their President's Day Early Access sale through through February 9th to get 25% off of mattresses plus get an extra $50 off with promo Code Lucky exclusive for my clovers. That's L-S A.com promo code Lucky for their current deal plus an extra $50 off support the show and let them know we sent you after checkout. Lisa.com promo code Lucky.
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And when I say that dog, I mean this sense of tenacity, grit, a level of competitiveness and an unwillingness to back down. Even when you're met with challenges, even when you're met with adversity, even when doors are slammed in your face. Then you find a way to go through the window or the back door or whatever it is. It's like you find a way no matter what. So depending on what it is that you want, you don't necessarily have to have that dog in you. I don't think that everybody does, and I also don't think think that Everybody needs to. It's not a necessity. Because I do think that we are all different. We all have different gifts. We all have different things that we want. I want the biggest on the block. I want the media empire. I want big, big, big. Not everybody wants big, big, big. There are some people who are truly want this kind of small business that I can manage myself, that keeps my life kind of how it is and that is low stress and that I'm able to just run until I decide I do something else. And that is beautiful. Listen, just because that's not what I want doesn't mean that that's a bad thing to want. There are different temperaments and different desires that are placed on different people's souls. I think that I have big desires placed on my soul because I can handle it. And if somebody's soul has a different desire, it's because that is what is suited for them. But for those people who do have the really big desire, it is going to require a level of dog. And if you don't have that, then it probably means that there is a desire that is a better fit for you. I truly think that we don't have desires placed on our heart on accident. I think that we are given aspirations. There are an alignment with what we can handle. So being really clear with yourself about what can you handle is important. But similar to what I was saying earlier when it comes to soft life and just why I personally don't really relate to that or promote that, just because it's a different perspective than what I have. And then what I know I want is because I know that I want to call in big things. It means that a lot of my work and my personal work is around increasing my capacity because I want more. I have to be able to withstand more of the good and the bad. Because with what my aspirations are, it means that there's going to be a lot of people who don't like me. It means that there is a lot of responsibility. It means that there's often a lot of stress. And even as my business has grown over the past few years, I've already started experiencing that. And a lot of my personal work has been around. How do I kind of get tougher, right? How do I be able to withstand this thing that I say that I want? You know, me, you know, I'm always going to bring it back to fitness, but I think about it a lot like weightlifting, if you are lifting weights and if you are trying to become physically stronger, you don't become physically Stronger by not lifting weights or by lifting little baby weights. You get physically stronger by lifting as much as you can until you physically can't anymore. You recoup, you take a break, you rest, you let your muscles grow back stronger and then you do it again. But then when you do it again, you're able to take more. And so when I think about having really big desires for a really big audacious life, you not only have to do that with your muscles, you have to do that with your mind, you have to do that with your focus. You have to do that with the thickness of your skin to be able to take more. You have to do that with your capacity for output. You have to do that with your ability to make decisions and think strategically. And so really looking at, okay, am I resting to quit or am I resting to come back stronger is going to be key for actually getting the things that you want. Because I do think sometimes when we promote these things like rest, and I'm not telling nobody to not rest because baby, I'm a get, I'm gonna get my eight hours. Okay? I'm a big believer in rest, but when I'm resting, I am resting to come back stronger. I'm not resting to quit. And that is the difference between getting what you want and not getting what you want. So you really have to meet the version of yourself that is built to win and you have to get really acquainted with her until that is who you become all of the time. So just a few rapid fire affirmations as you are expanding into this next version of yourself that really has that dog in you and that really has that grit and that fight in you is I'm not for everyone. And that is the point. I don't audition for rooms that I know I belong in and I don't shrink to fit in. I sharpen. So this next part is hard. This is actually probably the biggest challenge that I have when it comes to getting what I want. But it is the realization that lucky girls aren't shy. Lucky girls aren't shy. They aren't. And I have struggled with this my entire life because I am a deeply introverted person. It's why I love interviews so much, because in interviews I get to listen and I get to be a little bit more thoughtful about what I say in response to the other person. I also, when I was younger, particularly in my childhood, through my teens, was incredibly shy and I had debilitating social anxiety. College really helped me with that because just being in close quarters with other People all of the time. I had to learn how to come out of my shell a little bit more. And I also put myself in a lot of really uncomfortable circumstances to help me just get more comfortable with the uncomfortable. But when people talk about being anxious or when people talk about just being too shy to, like, voice their desires, I get it. I understand. And there's still a part of me, even though I have strengthened the social muscle and the Speak up muscle, there is still a part of me that still has to work really hard at it, because it is a skill that I have had to cultivate. However, lucky girls are not shy. I think we've all heard those expressions that our mom or that our grandma used to say all the time, where it's like a closed mouth does not get fed. And I think that those expressions are ringing more true today than ever. The world is loud. The Internet is loud. Social media is loud. It is no longer about your intelligence. It is no longer about your talent. It is no longer about your capability. It is about how loud you can be and how much attention can you garner. And there are people who are so much less talented than you, who will get the things that you want because they are willing to be loud about that. Let that sink in. You are so much better at whatever that thing is then Susie Q down the street. But because Susie Q is loud about it, she's gonna get the things that you want. And I struggle with this. I struggle with a lot of Susie Q's getting the things that I want. But then I have to remember that I have to rise to the occasion that it's not Susie Q's fault that I have to be willing to put the shyness aside and not only be willing to say what I want out loud, but to show up and to act on it and to not just say what I want, but ask directly to the people who can help me get it. So I'm doing a little experiment this year. For as long as I remember, where I am practicing shooting my shot at something once a week. So far, I have shot my shot at Dream Podcast guests. I have shot my shot at brand partnerships that I want to get. I'm going to be shooting my shot at pitching myself to be guests on other podcasts, which is not something that I usually do. I pretty much only do those things when I get invited. But I'm just realizing that I want to be in bigger rooms, and I can't necessarily wait for everybody to invite me into them. At some point, I gotta stop being shy. And I gotta ask for what it is that I want. And even if I don't get it, like, that's okay, you know? I shot my shot with a dream guest. I haven't heard back from her yet. I've been following up, but I haven't heard back yet. We don't know what's gonna happen with that. The brand deal worked out a little bit better. That's coming to fruition. But sometimes we make the shots, sometimes we don't. But not shooting is guaranteeing that you won't make the shot. So listen, baby, I'm shooting all shots. I don't care. You call me Kobe, call me who else played basketball? Michael Jordan, LeBron, Steph. All of them. Call me any of them. Because I'm shooting and I want you to shoot with me. So go ahead and shoot your shot with no expectation of the outcome. Just to see the worst that can happen is you get left on red. The worst that can happen is someone says no. But what if someone says yes? Or what if someone has that thing that they can help you with and they're willing to do that by not asking? It's a guaranteed no. But if you do ask, there's always an option that it could be a yes. So remember that lucky girls aren't shy. And your homework from this segment is to figure out one way to shoot your shot. And I want you to shoot your shot within one week. One week from you listening to this episode or watching this episode, I want you to have shot your shot and comment on our latest Instagram post at she's so lucky, Pod. And let me know how it goes. Why not? So if there's anything that I want you to take from this episode, it is the importance of going after what you want without apologizing for it. I don't care, really, what you have been conditioned to believe. If you've been conditioned to believe that asking for more makes you greedy, if you've been conditioned to believe that as a woman, having any desire that is not in full servitude of others makes you selfish. I don't care if someone making you think that wanting happiness or fulfillment is too, too much. I don't care. Because all of those people are wrong. They are wrong. You are not asking for too much to have the desires of your heart. You are not selfish for actually giving a damn about yourself. And the only time that someone's going to call you selfish for giving a damn about yourself is the people who benefit from you being depleted. Because they see if you pour a little bit back into yourself, then you're not pouring into them. And God forbid you don't deplete yourself for the sake of somebody else. Right? It doesn't mean just disregard other people. I think as people, we should be community oriented. We should all support one another. But as a part of the community, that means you deserve support too. So having a desire and going after it doesn't make you selfish. Now, if you're just out here doing harm to other people and stepping on them to get to where you want, okay, don't do that. That is maybe more selfish. We're not that type of villain. We're in our villain era in the sense of we're seeing things clearly and not apologizing for it. But we're not like, harming other people because that's not cool. That's not lucky. But ignore those voices. And I know it's hard. I know it's loud. I know the conditioning runs deep, but you can learn to tune it out. You can learn to move through it. This was something that I talked about on the show a few weeks ago when I had Jeanette and Mona here, and they were talking about their experiences leaving their news careers and moving into freelance life and social media life and how they struggled a bit, feeling dissatisfied with the previous lives that they had because they thought like, oh, who am I to want fulfillment? Is that not enough? And. And they had to really dismantle that and get through on the other side. But I promise, being on the other side and living a life that you actually want is worth it. Lord willing. Life is long, and that is a long time to do something or to be in a role or to be in a space that you don't want to be in. You don't want to be that old woman in her 90s who looks back and wishes that she would have done something for herself. You want to be the one who looks back and is like, I did that. I really, really did that. And the way that you do that is by being unapologetic about what you want. Because unless your desire is to hurt people, which I don't think it would be, because we don't do that here. We don't attract people who want that. You getting your desire is a good thing. It means that you get to be the version of you that is happy and fulfilled, and that's probably the version that people want to be around. It means that the example that you set for your children or for other people in your community is that they can do it too. Could you imagine how much better the world would be overall if more people felt fulfilled, if more people felt confident, if more people felt secure, if more people had what they needed? Could you imagine? Because a lot of the bad stuff in the rigamaroe is from people feeling the opposite and needing to terrorize other people. But if more of us feel confident and secure and happy and fulfilled, how amazing would that be? It gives other people more permission to do the same. It's why I say this is a space where it's okay to pop your shit, where it's okay to talk up your good traits, where nobody here in this community is going to talk bad about you for hyping yourself up. Because we're all hyping ourselves up. Because you shining doesn't take the light from anyone else. Because we all have permission to shine. That's what we're all doing here. It's a reminder that you don't need a step by step formula to get to where you want to go. It's a reminder that there's no peace of mind, of self help or a tip or a trick. There's nothing that I can say in my DMs that is going to be more valuable to you than taking action. You have to keep showing up as her again and again and again. Because when you think of those women that you think of as lucky women who get what they want, baby, they do them and they do them every time. So you got to start doing you every time. It's also really important to remember that if you do get what you want, you need to be prepared to do what it takes to keep it. And I also think sometimes this can be the hard part. This is where we self sabotage a little bit because there is with great power comes great responsibility. There is a lot that can be required of us to want big things and to call in big things. We talked about that with Trisha Lee last week. That becoming more successful doesn't necessarily make things easier. It does come with a lot of responsibility. So if that's what you're calling in, you gotta be prepared to hold it. But ultimately, as we look at our luck and getting what we want, it's important to remember that luck is not a lottery. It is leverage. And we do what it takes to build that leverage brick by brick. I truly believe that you already have everything within you that you need to get to what you want. The question is how are you going to use it? Understand what is holding you back from getting what you want. And figure out your way to work around it to be that person that you want to be. So just to recap as we look at how to get what we Want, one. You need to be honest with yourself about what you want. You need to own your edge and your unique gifts and abilities. Unleash the version of you that is not afraid of stepping into that big space. Do only what you can and go for it loudly and unapologetically. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend who is so close to stepping into their power so that you can get what you want together. All month long we're going to be exploring this theme of how to get what we want. We're going to be exploring it from a spiritual angle. We're also going to talk to some incredible lucky ladies who have been really good at using what they have to get to where they want to be. So make sure you're subscribed to she's so Lucky on YouTube, on Spotify, on Apple so that you don't miss a single episode. If you're watching on YouTube or on Spotify, drop a comment and let me know how you're shooting your shot this week. If you're interested in exploring this theme further next week week I am joined by the incredible A.C. brown who is going to help us unpack all of these themes from a spiritual perspective. We're going to be talking about how we use the different tools including astrology, numerology and human design to help us unlock our soul's desire and get the things we want. So make sure you're subscribed and I'll see you next Tuesday. Thank you for tuning into this week's.
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Week'S episode of she's so Lucky.
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If you're ready to create your own luck, hit that subscribe button wherever you get your podcasts or on YouTube so you don't miss an episode and head to the show notes for resources, links and discount codes. And if you are really feeling lucky, we would appreciate your rating and your review. It really helps us be able to improve the show to get great guests and to understand what you want to hear more of. Thank you for tuning in and I'll see you. See you next week.
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Have you ever heard the saying Tell me what you eat and I will tell you who you are. I'm Katie Lee Beagle and I'm Food Obsessed. Tune into my podcast all on the Table and get to know celebrities, boldface names and industry insiders in an all new way as they share the ingredients that make their recipe for life. I want to know it all. From the favorite childhood birthday cake to the breakfast they eat every day. An engagement meal in Paris or a guilty pleasure fast food indulgence. You can tell a lot about a person by what's in their fridge. And hey, everybody's got to eat. Make sure to tune in every Thursday and follow so we can devour every last morsel together. We're putting it all on the table.
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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.