Stop Settling for Almost: How to Actually Get What You Want - She's So Lucky

Summary

She’s So Lucky – Episode Summary
Episode: Stop Settling for Almost: How to Actually Get What You Want
Host: Les Alfred
Date: February 3, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of "She’s So Lucky" with host Les Alfred is a motivational deep-dive into identifying, claiming, and unapologetically pursuing your biggest desires. Les outlines the dangers of settling for “almost,” unpacks societal and internal programming that keep women playing small, and shares actionable strategies for being audacious in going after exactly what you want. The episode is equal parts pep talk, tough love, and practical guide for moving from dreaming to doing.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Claiming What You Really Want: Stop Settling for “Almost”

Les candidly shares her journey from settling for “enough” to boldly naming her desires.
She recalls times she pretended to be okay with having less—whether a small podcast or a “small life”—and how she’s now intentionally coming for “what’s mine.”
Quote: “For a very long time, I pretended to be okay with accepting less...I was okay living a really small life when I knew I wanted an extraordinary one.” (03:00)
The importance of getting honest with yourself is emphasized: is your desire truly yours, or have you internalized what others or society want for you?

Timestamp: 01:49–06:45

2. Unpacking Internalized Messages About “Enough”

Les explores how family, religion, culture, and even social media can plant ideas about what you’re supposed to want.
She shares a story about a pastor immediately expecting her to have children after graduating college, illustrating pressures for women to follow prescribed life paths.
Quote: “Seeds are planted in our minds telling us what it is we think we should want and when we think we should want it. That may not even be us.” (07:28)
Les urges listeners to distinguish between authentic desires and those acquired through conditioning.

Timestamp: 06:45–11:10

3. Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid to Want More

It’s common to hesitate to name your big goals for fear of being “ungrateful,” “greedy,” or “unrealistic.”
Les reframes this: you can want more and be grateful at the same time. Wanting more doesn’t make you any less thankful for what you have.
Quote: “Wanting more doesn't make you any less grateful for what you have.” (05:45)
Fear of judgment from others, especially those with “small minds and small visions” who have never been where you want to go, shouldn’t keep you in a box.

Timestamp: 08:32–11:50

4. Your Community & Who You Share With Matters

When you’re in a season of expansion, not everyone is equipped to support your vision.
Les doesn’t advocate harshly cutting people off but instead encourages discernment: “Know who to go to for what.”
Quote: “When you begin to expand and to elevate, you’re holding up a mirror to those people's excuses.” (10:50)
Find people who can “mastermind” with you, and don’t take it personally when the closest people are slow to support.

Timestamp: 11:00–13:50

5. The Power of Clarity and Writing Down Your Desires

Listeners are challenged to write down their “big, juicy, scary desire”—even if only in their notes app.
Quote: “Admit it right now, even if you're just writing it down. Make it real, make it plain, and don't water it down for anybody.” (11:55)

Timestamp: 11:53–12:15

6. Leaning into Your “Unfair Advantage” and Authentic Self

Les explains why success comes not from mimicking others, but by identifying and doubling down on what makes you distinct.
She details her transition from attempting “influencer” trends to realizing her core value: facilitating expansion, holding conversations, and sharing ideas.
Quote: “You actually need to be more of yourself to get that desire, because that desire is coming from deep down in your soul.” (15:30)
Three reflection questions to unlock your unfair advantage (21:52):
1. What do people actually come to you for?
2. What has always been easy for you that others find challenging?
3. Where do you know you’re the best in the room—where do you shine?
Les encourages listeners to answer these honestly—even brag a little!

Timestamp: 15:25–22:30

7. Rejecting the “Soft Life” Stereotype for This Community

Les addresses recent assumptions labeling her show as “soft life” focused. She clarifies that “She’s So Lucky” is about audacity, building wealth, and creating an extraordinary life—not about waiting for someone else to provide it.
Quote: “If you think this is a show that's going to help you find a man to provide a soft life for you, maybe I got a dream to sell you, and it ain't that one.” (21:53)

Timestamp: 21:53–24:00

8. The Importance of Tenacity (“Having That Dog In You”)

Les goes viral with her assertion: “There is no tip, trick, or self-help that can replace having that dog in you.” (25:45)
She describes this as tenacity, grit, and the willingness to keep pushing even when things get hard.
Quote: “When I say that dog, I mean this sense of tenacity, grit, a level of competitiveness and an unwillingness to back down, even when you're met with challenges.” (30:21)
Not everyone needs “the dog”—big dreams require big capacity. You get stronger by lifting more (using a weightlifting metaphor), both physically and mentally.

Timestamp: 25:25–33:50

9. Lucky Girls Aren’t Shy: The Necessity of Speaking Up and Shooting Your Shot

Les opens up about overcoming shyness and social anxiety, emphasizing that luck favors those who are bold.
Quote: “Lucky girls aren’t shy. A closed mouth does not get fed." (36:30)
In a noisy world, it’s not always about talent or intelligence—it’s about who’s willing to ask and be visible.
Les issues a weekly “shoot your shot” challenge to listeners—to ask for something big, regardless of outcome.
Quote: “Not shooting is guaranteeing that you won’t make the shot.” (39:10)
Listeners are asked to comment on Instagram with how they shot their shot that week.

Timestamp: 34:00–41:10

10. Unapologetically Going After What You Want

Les confronts common conditioning: women being told wanting more is greedy or selfish.
She urges listeners to ignore voices that benefit from their depletion and to recognize that going after your desires helps the whole community to thrive.
Quote: “You shining doesn’t take the light from anyone else. Because we all have permission to shine.” (43:40)
The episode closes with a call to action: keep showing up as the person you aspire to be, and remember—luck is not a lottery, it’s something you build through leverage and action.

Timestamp: 41:10–46:44

Memorable Quotes

“For a very long time, I pretended to be okay with accepting less...I was okay living a really small life when I knew I wanted an extraordinary one.” (03:00)
“Seeds are planted in our minds telling us what it is we think we should want and when we think we should want it. That may not even be us.” (07:28)
“You actually need to be more of yourself to get that desire, because that desire is coming from deep down in your soul.” (15:30)
“If you think this is a show that's going to help you find a man to provide a soft life for you, maybe I got a dream to sell you, and it ain't that one.” (21:53)
“There is no tip, trick, or self-help that can replace having that dog in you.” (25:45)
“Lucky girls aren’t shy. A closed mouth does not get fed.” (36:30)
“Not shooting is guaranteeing that you won’t make the shot.” (39:10)
“You shining doesn’t take the light from anyone else. Because we all have permission to shine.” (43:40)

Segment Timestamps (Highlights)

Honesty about your true desires: 01:49–06:45
Social & internal influence on wants: 06:45–11:10
Encouragement not to fear wanting more: 08:32–11:50
Who to trust with your dreams: 11:00–13:50
The “dog in you” and cultivating tenacity: 25:25–33:50
Embracing bold action, speaking up: 34:00–41:10

Conclusion & Listener Challenge

Les Alfred encourages listeners to:

Write down their biggest desire—without edits or apologies.
Identify their personal unfair advantage and what they do best.
Take bold, visible action towards their goals, even when uncomfortable.
Shoot their shot once a week and report back to the community.

Coming up: Next week’s episode, exploring the spiritual side of manifesting your desires with A.C. Brown.

Transcript

A (0:01)

The following podcast is a Dear Media Production.

B (0:11)

If you truly want to be lucky, tap into this series and you'll learn how to get exactly what you want. So last month on she's so Lucky, we broke the rules, and this month we're coming for what's ours. Because February is all about how to get what you want. First, we have some housekeeping to take care of. If you are not subscribed to the she's so Lucky channel, make sure you hit that subscribe button so that you can get new episodes every single Tuesday. Because we're dropping amazing episodes that will help you be the luckiest girl you know. Also, in the new year, we started something pretty cool, which is weekly episode companion guides. So every Tuesday after the episode drops, I send out a weekly newsletter that is actually a listening guide to accompany every episode. So you will get key takeaways, you'll get extra resources, you'll get book recommendations, you'll get journal prompts that will help you take what you hear on this podcast and actually apply them to your life. Because lucky girls don't just listen. Lucky girls take action. And I have so many amazing things for you. Every Friday, we're also dropping the Lucky Cut, which are abbreviated versions of our episodes on our YouTube channel, she's so Lucky, where you'll basically get the meat of the episode. So if you don't have a full hour to dedicate to the full episode, tune in to the Lucky cut on our YouTube channel every Friday to get the juice. Last month I talked about breaking the rules and overcoming these little mindset plateaus that I know have been holding me back and that a lot of you resonated with and said that they've been holding you back too. And something that I'm really embracing for 2026, not only being in my villain era, obviously am I not giving villain. If you follow me on Instagram or TikTok, you may have also been picked up on that. Because I'm not playing with y'.

A (1:49)

All.

B (1:49)

I'm not holding your hands. I'm not knocking. I'm not. I'm giving it to you straight there, and I'm giving it to you straight here. And I'm also giving it to myself straight about being really honest about what I want. And I've had to do a lot of unpacking and a lot of reprogramming to give myself permission to truly go after the things that I want. For a very long time, I pretended to be okay with accepting less. I'm not talking about my Name. Don't do any puns with my name now. You know what I'm saying? I pretended like I was okay with having things that were a version of what I wanted, but not quite it. I pretended like I was okay with having a really small niche podcast when I knew I actually want a big one. I was okay living a really small life when I knew I wanted an extraordinary one. And the season that I'm currently in is unapologetically coming for my things and saying, actually, I do want this. I want a big podcast. I want a big life. I want lots of monies. I want to take care of my parents. I want some pretty purses, too, okay? And there's nothing wrong with that. And I'm being super honest about that in how I move. And learning how to get honest with myself about the things that I truly want, I think brings them so much closer. And I knew that I was not the only person who was in this space of wanting to unapologetically go after the things that we want. So many of us work so hard. We work so hard, we put so much thought and intention and effort and how we move around and we receive so much messaging that keeps us small, that tells us that it's okay to accept less and to not want the things that we want. And I'm here to say, actually, we can have the things that we want and we can want the things that we want out loud. And that doesn't mean that we don't move from a place of gratitude, because I do think it's very important to be where your feet are and to have an attitude of gratitude in everything you do. And wanting more doesn't make you any less grateful. Grateful for what you have. So let's get after it. As I was thinking about how do I proceed with getting what it is I truly want, the first question that I asked myself was, are you sure you want what you say you want? I think that there can be so many outside influences when it comes to making us think that we want certain things. And that can be something as small as you are scrolling on TikTok and you see an outfit or a beauty product that someone is using, and now you think you want it to. As big as internal programming that maybe comes from your family, that comes from your religion, that comes from the media, that comes from the community around you. We are so easily swayed by these outside influences. As I prepare to receive what it is I want or something even better, I've had to get super honest with myself to Say, is this a true desire of my soul and of my heart and of my every being? Or do I just think I want this because other people tell me that I should want this? I remember I was 21 years old and I had just graduated college and it was like my first weekend back at my parents house after graduating from college. My first Sunday back at church and talking to the pastor of our church and he congratulated me on finishing school and he said, well, you're probably gonna start working on some grandbabies for us soon, right? And I said, who, who is he talking to? Did somebody else graduate? Who? He's, who? He's referring to me. What? Was already planting the seed that okay, my schooling was done, it's time to now settle down and pop out some babies. I was 21 years old. Two one, the ink was barely dry on my ID, I barely could have a legal drink and already this programming was being kind of pumped into me. Now because I am a strong willed heathen, it kind of went in one ear and out the other and I was like, no bro, I gotta start work on Monday at my corporate job, I gotta get my own apartment, moving out of my parents house, like I got other stuff to do. There's enough grandbabies running around here that you. It will suffice. But it was an example of how much seeds are planted in our minds telling us what it is we think we should want and when we think we should want it. That may not even be us, may not even be our actual desire. But if you hear that enough, if you're not as much of like a heathen as I am, and as defiant unfortunately, slash fortunately as I am, in some ways you can be a lot more susceptible to that. Or if you hear that over and over and then the next thing you know, 10 years later you are a decade down the road in a life that maybe wasn't in alignment with your actual desires. So as we start thinking about getting what we want, it's really important to make sure that you're going after things that you actually want and when you actually want them. That example that I just gave wasn't vilifying that person who said that to me. It was not even vilifying the idea of settling down and starting a family. I think that that's really Beautiful for my 21 year old self. It wasn't appropriate and I think that age is, is too young for those things. But maybe later down the road with some life experience, that could have been an appropriate question. It's really going to depend on you and what it is you want and what is actually appropriate for you. I also think oftentimes when we are afraid to admit what we want out loud, it's because we're afraid of what other people are going to say. We're afraid that other people are going to talk us out of our dreams. We're afraid that other people are going to think that we're asking for too much. We're afraid that people are going to think that we're crazy, that they're going to tell us that we can't do it, that they're going to provide all of these reasons why we can't do it, that they're going to tell us to be realistic. And this is why you can't necessarily look to outside people, and particularly people with small minds and small visions, for directions for where you're going, especially if they've never been where it is that you're trying to go. Though wanting more is not a crime, and wanting what's put on your heart is not delusional to ask for. I think oftentimes we've been programmed to romanticize the idea of being humble when we know that we are meant for and desire and have the capacity for more. And I don't think that humility is a bad thing. I think that it's a good thing to move through the world with some humility. I think it's good to be respectful of others and to have just. Just some tact in terms of being able to read a room. But if that means compromising your core essence and who it is you know you truly want to be, then, yeah, that idea of being humble, it's not worth it. And oftentimes the people who want you to be humble the most and who have the most to say about the humility are the people who have the most to gain from you continuing to stay small. Because you continuing to stay small is what benefits them. It is what makes them feel comfortable. That is why oftentimes when people begin elevating, they have the hardest time and feel like they receive the least amount of support from the people who are closest to them. Because when you begin to expand and to elevate, what you're doing is you're holding up a mirror to those people's excuses. And it's very easy to see the success and the luck and the favor of people who are far from us, because we can then create all of the stories about why they're so lucky and why they have the things that they have. But then when your neighbor, the person right next to you, starts getting those things and you start realizing, oh, maybe my excuses don't hold as much weight as I thought they do, that is when things get real. And that is why it can sometimes feel like the people closest to you take the longest to come around when you're on your come up. And I don't necessarily think that you have to cut people off. I think it means that you need to know who to go to for what. That when you're in a space of expanding and you're ready to talk about expansion and you need to be pumped up, then maybe that person who is close to you in your life, who is just not there yet and able to do that for you, that's just not who you talk to about that. You know, I don't necessarily believe in cutting people off in that way if they are family, close friends, people who are really close to you. But it means that when you have those big dreams, those big goals, you're working on your business, you're doing this, you're doing that, and that's not the person who you go to for that. If you know that they're only going to speak humble BS to you, then you gotta find some other like minded people who you can mastermind with to share those experiences with. And I bet that those people who are already in your life will eventually come around. And I say this because I have absolutely experienced it. And so as I'm reflecting on this for myself, I realized I don't want a small podcast. I want a media empire. I'm saying it, I'm claiming it, and I'm doing the work to make it happen. I have a feeling that you have a desire that you are too afraid to say out loud or to admit to yourself that you truly want. And right now it's just you and me. I want you to admit it right now. I'm here listening. I won't judge you. This is a safe space to admit that big desire that you have. And I'm not going to make you feel bad about it. In fact, I'm probably going to be the one to tell you to think bigger and, and to come up with an even bigger desire until it is big enough to be worth your energy. So something that we're not doing here at she's so Lucky is we are not romanticizing the struggle. We are not guilting one another into being satisfied with less than what we truly want and deserve. We know that we can operate from a space of gratitude while we still yearn for more and strive for more. And we know that we won't get more if we keep pretending like we don't want it. If you have not already admitted what your desire is, now is your time to do so. And even if you don't want to say it out loud, maybe you're listening to this on the train. Okay, I get it, you don't want to say it out loud. Write it down. Write it down in your journal. Write it down in your notes app. What is that big, juicy, scary desire that is truly on your heart that you are afraid to admit? Admit it right now, even if you're just writing it down. Make it real, make it plain, and don't water it down for anybody.