The Top 7 Tips for Becoming the Luckiest Person You Know

Summary

Podcast Summary: She’s So Lucky – “The Top 7 Tips for Becoming the Luckiest Person You Know”

Host: Les Alfred (with co-host and special guests)
Date: December 23, 2025

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Episode Overview

This special year-end episode of She’s So Lucky brings together the standout “luckiest moments” and actionable wisdom from an eventful season. Host Les Alfred and a diverse lineup of powerhouse women—including Nicole Walters, Shiata Njay, Gabrielle Union, Alexis Barber, and Taylor Rooks—share the habits, mindsets, and personal transformations that help them create their own luck. Whether you’re looking to kickstart a personal rebrand, stop self-sabotage, or simply show up more fully for yourself, these seven top tips will motivate and inspire you to live your luckiest, most abundant life as you head into the new year.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Stop Being Your Own Biggest Hater

Timestamp: 01:23–05:35

• Takeaway: The way you speak to and about yourself fundamentally shapes your reality, outcomes, and how others treat you. Rather than waiting for external validation or transformation (as the “90s teen movie” trope suggests), be your own biggest fan and advocate now.
• Key Points:
  • Don't let your inner critic and perfectionism paralyze you (“If you're waiting for something to be perfect, you are going to be waiting forever.” — Co-host, 03:12).
  • Progress requires action, not waiting for perfection.
  • “Being our own biggest fan is keeping our commitments to ourselves.” — Host, 05:15

Memorable Quote:

“Nobody is coming to save us and take our glasses off and give us a makeover and see that value that we don’t see in ourselves. We have to see it first, we have to project it, and then the world around us will get into line.” – Co-host (03:21)

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2. Take Action in Alignment with Your Values (Nicole Walters Highlight)

Timestamp: 06:36–09:14

• Takeaway: Take unapologetic action on your dreams, even in the face of critics or naysayers. Cut out relationships and situations that drain or stress you—you deserve better.
• Key Points:
  • Haters will always have something negative to say—move forward anyway.
  • Sometimes radical change is required for peace (“People are out here drinking water, doing meditation, but keeping that person in your life who stresses you the hell out… that water is not going to do nothing. Get rid of them.” — Nicole Walters, 07:35)
  • Be responsive by preparing and knowing your values versus just reacting to life’s curveballs.

Memorable Quote:

“Write the damn book, do the damn podcast, get on the damn stage… for the people who have something negative to say… they’re going to keep saying it no matter what. So just do you. Action needs to happen in support of our values.” – Nicole Walters (06:36)

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3. Learning is Action & The Power of Focused Growth (Shiata Njay Highlight)

Timestamp: 16:12–21:17

• Takeaway: Not all action is external—internal growth, learning, and self-reflection are also powerful forms of momentum. Incorporate both data-driven thinking and creative visioning for sustainable impact.
• Key Points:
  • Solitude and learning are crucial before launching an ambition (“There’s something about the reclusiveness or the incubation of it all… The goal is to absorb.” — Shiata Njay, 16:39)
  • Embrace both your analytical and artistic sides, especially as an entrepreneur.
  • Root your dreams in data and defend your vision, especially when navigating gatekeepers or skeptics.

Memorable Quote:

“You have to trust the universe, but you also have to do the work. The work got me into that room… The work got me the product…” – Shiata Njay (21:00)

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4. Release Judgment (Self & Others): Own Your Story (Gabrielle Union Highlight)

Timestamp: 21:43–28:13

• Takeaway: Leaning into your authentic, specific story makes you both unique and universally relatable. Be selective about the feedback you take in and recognize that judgment (of self and others) often mirrors internal insecurities.
• Key Points:
  • Don’t accept every piece of feedback—be discerning (“If the note is illogical, impractical, unreasonable, I’m not taking it.” — Gabrielle Union, 22:24)
  • Self-judgment holds us back; self-compassion can unlock joy and progress.
  • Public failure feels like an ego death, but “everyone moves on”—don’t let shame or fear hold you hostage.

Memorable Quotes:

“Not every note should be taken. Even when it comes for me.” – Gabrielle Union (22:13)
“The only person who sees that [‘loser’ sign] is you. And perhaps family or friends that you need to cut off anyway.” – Gabrielle Union (27:08)

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5. Don’t Shrink Yourself: Beyond Likability & Relatability (Alexis Barber Highlight)

Timestamp: 33:32–37:09

• Takeaway: Chasing “likability” and “relatability” is a trap, particularly for women. Instead, prioritize your own joy and authenticity—even if it means you stand out or are misunderstood.
• Key Points:
  • Confidence is often discouraged in women under the guise of “humility.”
  • You don’t owe anyone relatability. Your job is to be fully, powerfully yourself.
  • External validation is less important than internal pride.

Memorable Quotes:

“I'm not likable and I'm not relatable and I'm not having. I'm not interested in being like either of those things anymore because I'm much more interested in being happy and being myself.” – Alexis Barber (33:32)
“The pressure to be relatable is only put on successful women. Nobody tells a successful man he needs to be more relatable.” — Host (34:11)

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6. Rebrand and Level Up – Creating a Personal Brand that Reflects Your Growth

Timestamp: 37:36–42:02

• Takeaway: Redefine yourself intentionally by choosing three words to embody and by consciously shaping your visual and narrative identity.
• Key Points:
  • Identify your three core values or adjectives for your next chapter.
  • Consider your story—know how you want to be known and the impact you want to have.
  • Re-examine how you spend your time and energy as you grow.

Actionable Steps:

• Select three words you want to embody (ex. “authentic, abundant, chic”).
• Reflect on your personal story—how do you answer “what do you do?”
• Audit your time use and realign it with your new identity.

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7. Hold Your Vision & Tune Out the Noise (Taylor Rooks Highlight)

Timestamp: 42:35–46:20

• Takeaway: Anchor your self-worth in your own opinion. Constantly seeking outside opinions or anticipating negativity will limit your dreams and capacity for joy.
• Key Points:
  • Others’ limitations and projections are not your truth (“It’s silly to think someone else knows you more than you know yourself.” — Taylor Rooks, 43:06)
  • Accept that anxiety about joy and waiting for the “other shoe to drop” is common, but don’t let it shrink your happiness.
  • Distance yourself from social media noise in order to remain focused.

Memorable Quote:

“Your opinion is the opinion.” – Taylor Rooks (42:35)
“Social media will ruin you if you care too much about it. You can’t care about the comments of others.” – Taylor Rooks (46:20)

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Standout Quotes & Timestamps

• “Stop being your own biggest hater.” – Host, 05:35
• “Action needs to happen in support of our values.” – Nicole Walters, 06:51
• “Learning is also a form of taking action.” – Co-host, 16:25
• “You have to trust the universe, but you also have to do the work.” – Shiata Njay, 21:00
• “Not every note should be taken.” – Gabrielle Union, 22:13
• “I'm not likable and I'm not relatable and I'm not interested in being like either of those things anymore.” – Alexis Barber, 33:32
• “Your opinion is the opinion.” – Taylor Rooks, 42:35

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Notable Moments & Timestamps

• [01:23] Self-talk and perfectionism discussion: how internal narratives drive outcomes.
• [06:36] Nicole Walters on pushing past critics and knowing when to let go of relationships.
• [16:12] Shiata Njay emphasizes the importance of learning and strategic solitude before taking action.
• [21:43] Gabrielle Union on the power of specificity and self-judgment.
• [33:32] Alexis Barber shares her journey toward authenticity over likability.
• [37:36] Personal rebrand steps—selecting your three words for the new year.
• [42:35] Taylor Rooks on trusting your own vision and not being swayed by public opinion.

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Conclusion

This episode is a warm, motivating, and highly actionable send-off to 2025, reminding listeners that luck is not random—it’s created through actions, mindset, and courageous authenticity. Whether you’re preparing for a new chapter or simply need a burst of inspiration, these seven tips offer a roadmap to becoming “the luckiest person you know.”

Recommendation:
For further growth, check out the full guest episodes linked in the show notes for deep dives on each topic.

Don’t forget:
Subscribe to She’s So Lucky for more weekly inspiration, and leave a comment sharing which “lucky tip” resonated most with you as you head into the new year.

Transcript

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Welcome to she's so Lucky. Get ready to become the luckiest person.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

You know, and the first thing you can do to be more lucky is.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

To hit subscribe to she's so Lucky on YouTube. Every week we are bringing amazing guests and solo chats that are packed with gems to help you live your most abundant life.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Lucky life.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

And when you're not subscribed, you miss out on the episodes. We have new episodes every Tuesday. If you hit subscribe, turn on your notifications. You won't miss a single one, so.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Make sure you're subscribed to she's so Lucky.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

So we have reached that time where.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

We are all craving some new energy and thankfully a new year is right around the corner.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

We have had some of our best mic drop moments on the show this.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Year, and I think that these moments.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Will motivate and inspire you to live your luckiest life as we head into the new year. So naturally it only makes sense to.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Round out the year sharing our seven.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Luckiest moments that are packed with gems to help you live your luckiest life. Consider this seven pieces of golden advice that will come in handy as you get ready to head into the new year. So let's get into it.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

How I talk to myself and absolutely shapes how I face the world, how I carry myself, and that has such a big impact on how I am treated and the results that I get. And I think that that perspective is true for all of us. It doesn't mean that that is the only factor, but it means that if so many things outside of you are already hard, don't make what's inside of you hard as well. And that often goes with what's up here. And I sometimes think what our brains do when they try to keep us safe or they try to protect us from harm, or they try to protect us from hurt often leads to us being our own biggest haters, which leads to us hurting our own feelings when we don't actually need to do that. Why do we tend to do so much more damage to ourselves than other people could ever do to us? And I got to thinking about a lot of the messaging that I think a lot of us receive from a young age. Even thinking about myself as a millennial growing up in the 90s, I feel like there was a lot of messaging around kind of underdog stories or, you know, having someone be kind of the quirky, underestimated person who then somehow gets a makeover and takes off her glasses and becomes the prom Queen or whatever, you know what I mean? Like 90s teen movies loved some sort of makeover sequence where it felt like this person who was some sort of underdog was so self deprecating until they finally found somebody who was willing to give them a makeover and take their glasses off and then they were able to be a winner. And while that is really cute for 90s teen movies, that was really cute and clueless. It was really cute in she's all that in. In Mean Girls and all of those things. Real life doesn't work that way. Okay? As much as there was a time when I wished I lived in a 90s teen movie in the year of our Lord 2025, nobody is coming to save us and take our glasses off and give us a makeover and see that value that we don't see in ourselves. We have to see it first, we have to project it, and then the world around us will get into line. Don't wait for something to be perfect to to do it and to try it. Because if you're waiting for something to be perfect, you are going to be waiting forever. And the main way that you are probably being your own biggest op is by being a perfectionist and waiting for yourself to execute everything perfectly before you take any kind of action.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Because what that means is that you're.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Never going to take any action and.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

You'Re going to be stuck exactly where you are.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

And there's nothing wrong with being where you are. I don't know.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

I don't know where you are.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

You could actually be in a great place. You know what I mean? Not everybody needs to be moving around all the time. But if you are unhappy with where.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

You are and you know that there are things that you want to do.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Yet your perfectionism is holding you back from taking action to make changes. That's when it's a problem. So we are going to set that aside right now and we are going to from here on out, stop being our own biggest haters. So that whatever it is that you want, whether it is a job, whether it is a relationship, whether it is a home, whether it is just a peace of mind, you're going to stop being your own biggest obstacles to getting it. Starting today, being your own biggest fan is doing whatever you can do within your control and to the best of.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Your ability to see to it that.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Your needs are met, that you are doing those things, that you are maintaining those habits, you are giving yourself that.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Rest and that you are giving yourself.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

The best opportunity that you can give again within your control to be the.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Best version of yourself. Because when you are truly pouring into yourself, that is a sign that you really love yourself and that you want to see your light shine bright and that you truly want to thrive. Being our own biggest fan is keeping our commitments to ourselves. So what are those actions?

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a branding or personal development expert)]

What are those habits?

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

What are those things that we need.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

To maintain to reach our goals, to.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Have our discipline, and to do what it is we say we are going to do? I hope you enjoyed that Excerpt from episode 307, how to Stop being your own biggest hater. And if there's any one takeaway I want you to have for this year as we get into 2026 is to truly stop being your own biggest hater. Okay, let's focus more on celebration than hateration, especially if that hate is directed towards ourselves. Speaking of celebration, I would love to transition to the next lucky moment that we are highlighting, which is with none than Nicole Walters. Nicole is all about making choices that help you live your best, luckiest life. And when we had our episode together earlier this year, she dropped so many gems to help us make better, more informed decisions that support our livelihood and happiness that I chose a few to reshare here.

[Nicole Walters]

It's never enough. People literally want the pound of flesh and anyone who's asking for all of you in that way does not have your interest at heart. So write the damn book, do the damn podcast, get on the damn stage, do whatever it is you want to do to move the world forward. Because for the people who are are hating or have an opinion or have something negative to say from the couch or they feel like I'm going to get that gotcha moment. I'm going to. You know, this is why she doesn't deserve what she does. They're going to keep saying that no matter what. So just do you action needs to happen in support of our values. I had gave birth to a baby unmedicated and I turned 40. Like who gives a after that if someone wants to come for me for having those values of trying to make the world better in general for everybody involved. Like they can bring it like it's whatever. Let's go to toe to toe.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

I recently saw a post on Threads. This was not your post but you responded to it. So a post said people who have significantly reduced their stress levels. What's the one daily practice you can't live without? And you replied divorce.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Tell me more.

[Nicole Walters]

Sad ass weak ass like lazy ass man. Okay. Will stress you out every time. Okay so whether that is divorce, whether that is your current relationship, whether that is your boss, okay. Whether that is your best friend, cut it loose. It will improve your life. People are out here drinking water, doing meditation, but keeping that person in your life who stresses you the hell out, trust me, that water is not going to do nothing. Okay. Like, get rid of them. Yeah, divorce, I mean, it's not a.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a branding or personal development expert)]

Daily practice, you know, hopefully, but it improves your everyday.

[Nicole Walters]

It improves once you get. It improves.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

How do you differentiate between being responsive and being reactive?

[Nicole Walters]

So I think being responsive is kind of pulling from your bag of preparation, you know, So I, I know what my attributes are, I know what I do well in, and I plan accordingly to make sure that whatever's coming at me is something that isn't. Hopefully too left field. Being reactive is when you, you've done zero preparation, where it's just like life is just going on around you and you're just kind of like, oh, I didn't know. Oh, I didn't know. No, like I have some structure. Like, what is it? We were talking about this a little bit because we're friends in real life, you know, about how the kids say I have a strict program or a strict protocol or whatever program with their dating, you know, like I have a, a program. It's not strict, but I have a program. Okay. You know, so I generally know the bullet points I want to hit in life. And so if something happens, being responsive is okay. I kind of knew the thing was coming. It may not look the way I thought it would. Let me pull from my bag and respond to it. Versus I had no idea this was coming. I don't know what this is. Do I even have anything in my bag? We're not doing that anymore.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

I like that distinction, like rising to.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

The occasion instead of just being like.

[Nicole Walters]

You know, yeah, nobody has time for that.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Right, right. One of my favorite things about this season is thinking about how to give more intentionally. Not just stuff, but actual impact. If that's something you're leaning into too, let me tell you about Heifer International. Heifer is a global nonprofit helping women entrepreneurs, especially in farming and agriculture, build sustainable businesses through microloans. And when I say sustainable, I truly mean life changing. These women use small loans to grow food, sell goods, and create long term income for their families and communities. One story that really stayed with me is Akambi Ashiada. She grew up in Lagos, Nigeria, in a one room home where food was scarce. But with a micro loan from Heifer, she became a tomato farmer and now she's supporting her family and running her own business. That's the power of a well placed loan. It's not just financial support, it's independence, it's opportunity and it's really an investment in their future. When we talk about creating your own luck, this is one of the most powerful ways to help someone else create theirs. You can fund a loan today at heifer that's h e I f e r dot org lucky that's heifer dot org lucky h e I f e r dotorg to give a woman the tools she needs to grow something of her own. Heifer, her opportunity starts with you. New Year's health goals are right around the corner, but you don't have to wait until January to start feeling better. If you're looking for an easy way to support your body now, iM8 is a great place to start. I've been using iM8's daily Ultimate Essentials for months now and it has made such a difference. I feel more clear, more energized and way less bloated. And it's just one scoop a day. Imaid's daily Ultimate Essentials gives you the benefits of 16 supplements in one drink that actually tastes good. It was co founded by David Beckham and developed with insight from experts at Mayo Clinic, Senor Sinai and even a former NASA Chief scientists. You get 92 ingredients vitamins, minerals, adaptogens, CoQ10, MSM and a full gut health blend with pre, pro and postbiotics. Basically, it supports everything from digestion and focus to immune health and energy all in one. Imate has gone through clinical trials and the Results are strong. 95% of participants felt more energetic and 85% saw better digestion and less bloating. It's vegan, gluten free, non GMO and NSF certified so you know it's clean and safe. Give your body what it deserves. With iM8, go to im8health.com Lucky and use the code Lucky for a free welcome kit with five free travel packs plus 10% off your order. That's iM8H E A L T H.com Lucky code Lucky these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. I've been using Notion for years. It is how I plan, run my business and keep the podcast organized. It's literally where everything lives. But now with Notion Agent, it feels more like I hired a personal assistant who already knows how I work. Notion Agent helps me prep for interviews, summarize meetings, and even draft content. It pulls what I need from my notes, calendar and connected tools like Slack and Google Drive. It's truly like having a second brain that actually gets me Notion brings all your notes, docs and projects into one connected space that just works. It's seamless, flexible, powerful, and actually fun to use. With AI built right in, you spend less time switching between tools and more time creating great work. And now with Notion Agent, your AI doesn't just help with work, it finishes it. Notion Agent can do anything you can do in Notion. It can tap into your Notion workspace, the web, and connected tools like Slack and Google Drive to complete assigned actions end to end so you can focus on the hard decisions. It's like delegating to another version of you that knows your style, your workflow and your preferences because it learns from how you work. Try Notion now with notion [e-mail] balanced that's all lowercase letters notion.com balance to try your new AI teammate notion agent today. And when you use our link, you're supporting our show. So again, check out [e-mail] balanced I've been in full cozy mode lately, both in what I'm wearing and how I'm updating my space, and Quince has truly been coming through on all fronts. Right now, my absolute go to's are my Quince cashmere sweaters, my puffer coat, and my Italian wool coat. I'm pretty much wearing one of these items every day this winter. They look elevated, they're actually warm, and they feel way more expensive than they are. So as you're doing your holiday shopping or your winter shopping for the season, this these make incredible gifts and things to add to your winter wardrobe. I've also been refreshing my apartment, and Quince has amazing home finds too. I just got a linen shower curtain and some new bedding, and they're the perfect mix of simple, elevated and high quality without the luxury markup. Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices, and they partner directly with top makers, which cuts out traditional markups. So that's how you get premium essentials at prices that fair, whether it's cashmere, silk, leather or home goods. It's one of those brands where everything just feels well made. There's no flashy logos, no gimmicks, just timeless staples that look good and last. Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with quints. Go to quinte.com balanceless for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com balanceless to get free shipping and 365 day return quince.com balancedless. So if you enjoyed that excerpt from Nicole, you are also going to love this next lucky tip that I have from you. It's from episode 292 when I sat down with Shiata Njay, who is the founder of AMI Kole and is now the executive Vice president of Beauty at Skims. So if that last clip had you in inspired to take action, this next clip will inspire you to make sure that you are super focused with the action that you take.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

If you have an idea, you have to execute on it right away or fully see it through right away. And I think that there is something to taking action in some ways. And learning is also a form of taking action, like understanding the space, learning what you're doing, learning how things run.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Is another form of taking action as.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Opposed to fully putting something out there and having like no idea what you're doing.

[Shiata Njay]

That I love, I love, I love, I love. Because I think that suddenly our culture has become so extroverted that you have to be sharing. And there's something about the reclusiveness or the, the incubation of it all. You're going into the darkness, you're going into the stillness and the, and the goal is to absorb. And I, I'm so grateful I did. I mean all the things that you have, the tools in your toolbox. So that's a great point that learning is action. But I also was a little bit more audacious. By 2019, I knew what it was to be in the room. I learned a lot still, but I was still aching for what I knew was true beauty that was complex but still simple and timeless and catered to women of color and clean and all these promises that I still felt was a need. So I booked a solo trip to Thailand and I, I think 10 or 12 days and I was just solo tripping is so important because you have to listen to yourself. You have to trust yourself. And I think I've done some solo sprints before, but being in Thailand where everything was different, like in Paris, you still hear a little bit of English and I speak French. So this was like brand new me. And I just kept asking myself, how, why, how, why? And I remember like I was so dramatic. I was listening to like Nipsey Hustle and like the hustle of it all.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Sometimes you gotta Lock in, you guys.

[Shiata Njay]

I was locked. I was like, nipsey Hussle, Erykah Badu. So all the feng shui's and I came back, I'm like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna launch this thing. I needed to start with knowing what am I doing, why and for who. Things move so rapidly. I think what I needed to understand and I knew what the next steps were, is like, what does this look like, what does it feel like, what, what emotions do I want to emote or, you know, evoke? And you'll see this constant mood board of mine that I, you know, always share with people because it was my home base. Like whenever I would rear off a little bit, I'll come back, I'm like, no, this is home for me.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

I think sometimes we can wanna sell ourselves short to put ourselves in one.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Box or another and be like, oh.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

I'm a data girl, or oh, I'm a creative girl.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

But we can embrace both. And I think especially if you're entrepreneurial.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

You, you have to, you have to learn 1,000%.

[Shiata Njay]

I mean, there's so many case studies now. I was just listening to a podcast on, you know, just the State of Pat McGrath and Artistry and how do you commoditize art, right? Which is very difficult thing, especially if you're a true artist, where you don't want to touch the money, you just want to give, give, give. But you're like, wait a minute, I want a nice house. Data centricity has always been a part of my DNA. You know, I'm a Virgo moon, so, you know, I'm always looking for the why. My Sagittarius, that was the dreamer. I'm like, I'll go, whatever, let's go to Peru today.

[Nicole Walters]

No problem.

[Shiata Njay]

So the spontaneity comes there, but I think specifically in the spot that I sat in 2019, I believe there were only 20 black women that raised over a million dollars, which is insane. Obviously, we've made strides this year. Last year a little different. We made strides towards progress. But I knew that if I wanted to protect this dream of mine, I had to insulate it with data. I had to root it with hard facts of how to scale this. I had to showcase. Unfortunately, this audience that they never had access to, they have no idea the questions that I've heard.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a branding or personal development expert)]

It was so crazy.

[Shiata Njay]

I'm like, well, there's only. There was already a Fenty, so why would you need to exist? I'm like, what? How many cars do you Drive. How many cars do you own, let alone drive? And you'd be surprised, especially when you're raising capital, how much you have to teach them.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

You can't be afraid to try things and fail.

[Shiata Njay]

I am hungry. I'm burnt. I'm burnt out. But I'm also heartbroken because my dream job didn't work out. So I had an imposter syndrome, maybe, but really just scared. Really scared. I had to dream up scenarios like, okay, what's the best thing that could happen to me? Like, a random Brooklyn day, and imagine a world where, like, five people from across the room are, like, taking out their lip treatment oil, and together we're in unison. And that has happened. I woke up every day, and I. And I. And I lived it, and I dreamt it, and I felt it, and it was. It was madness, but it was also so beautiful.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

What a, like, amazing way to alchemize a tough situation to turn into the launching pad of something else.

[Shiata Njay]

You have to trust the universe, but you also have to do the work. You know, the work got me into that room. The work got me the connections, the work got me the product, et cetera, et cetera. So I think that it's been a major entrepreneurship. It's been a major lesson for me.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

I couldn't close out a year here for the Clovers without throwing it back to the conversation that we had with the Clover Captain herself, Ms. Gabrielle Union. Our conversation in 292 covered everything from creativity to vulnerability, but we also talked a lot about judgment, about how judgment of ourselves and others can really hold us back and whatever it is that we are trying to do in life and how we can let that go. So we're gonna go back to that conversation here.

[Gabrielle Union]

The deeper we lean into specificity, the more universal it is. And I think the more we lean into the specificity of who we are, it's so much more interesting.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Yeah, absolutely. And encouraging people to have a sense of curiosity, which I think is really valuable, but not encouraged as much as.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Maybe it could be.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

I'm trying to be really nice with.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

How I say that.

[Gabrielle Union]

That's the kindest way I've heard it said.

[Nicole Walters]

Yeah.

[Gabrielle Union]

Like, they want to know themselves, but they don't want to know anyone else. Not every note should be taken.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Yeah.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Ooh, that's a good question.

[Gabrielle Union]

Even when it comes for me.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Yeah.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Not every note should be taken. I think that's a big. That's a big takeaway for me. How do you decipher what notes should be taken versus what shouldn't?

[Gabrielle Union]

I'm a very eerily logical, practical, reasonable person. If the note is illogical, impractical, unreasonable, I'm not taking it. I'm not taking it. Like, we're gonna. We're gonna brawl. And I want you to concede that it was a stupid note. Like, I need you to. I need you to take it. Take it. But for the most part, I don't work with too many people that are just nutty when it comes to notes or who aren't receptive to the feedback to that note. Most people are like, word. I get it.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Okay.

[Gabrielle Union]

Yep, yep, yep. Got it, Got it. But some people, like, they want to dig their heels in, and I'm like, make it make sense. Make it make sense. And they can't. I'm like, that's all I'm asking. Like, I'm not asking for the moon, the stars and rainbow. Just make it make sense. And if you're going to come in here and you feel like my voice needs to be heard, that's also another note. Everybody don't need to talk. Like, you really don't. They know you're here. Like, I think people are. Especially people you haven't met yet. They're good for certain seasons of your life. And then as you grow and expand and your worldview changes, as it should, constantly, you find different people. And not everybody needs to be put in the suitcase.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

When I was younger, I used to be like Judgy McJudgerson about everything. Particularly in my teens and 20s, I.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Just used to judge a lot.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Judge my friends, judge. And I wasn't necessarily wrong in some of the assessments that I made. But my delivery. Did it need to be said out loud? Did it need to be said from me? But I learned that a lot of the judgment that I was portraying onto other people was really me judging myself. And as I've learned to be less judgmental of myself, I've become less judgmental of other people.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

And it's been a tough pill to swallow.

[Gabrielle Union]

Yeah. That you're the one. Yeah. That you're the problem. Yes. It's hard, but, like, it's me.

[Nicole Walters]

Oh, shit.

[Gabrielle Union]

Yeah. No, that sucks. And we all judge everyone. Some of us are just a little bit more vocal about it, and we can, you know, turn a phrase a little more comically, and, you know, we might attract a larger crowd, but we're all judging each other. That's how we. You have to judge to figure out how to have friends. You know what I mean? Like, you're making Constant assessments of people all the time, for better or for worse. And we start when we're kids. We're like, that kid doesn't share. I don't want to be with that friend. Like, I'm. These are judgment calls constantly. You go in for an interview and you're like, okay, I'm getting interviewed. But I'm also take. I'm also judging you. You know, Like, I'm taking this in. Have you ever gone in to get your hair done and your hairstylist hair is not done? And you're like, Yeah, I had an orthodontist. I had a wonky tooth and I couldn't get over it. Never went back. It's like, well, how can I trust you? Like, you know, but these are judgments that we make that can help us, save us, protect us, guide us, but also make our world a lot smaller. And you cut people out that, you know, that could really impact your life for the best. But, yeah, I mean, I listen, I judge, I judge. I'm gonna save that commentary for my group chat. I'm not letting it out in the world. But absolutely, you know, it's life. But it's not for me. It's not. I don't go to cruelty.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Right.

[Gabrielle Union]

I don't go to evil like little demonic demons. Like, but if you're. If your ankles are ashy, I may notice. I may send it to the group chat. Yeah, I'm pro. I mean, karma is going to come back because I'm a forget. I'm a forget and somebody's going to zoom in on my ashy ankles and put it in their group chat or online. It always comes back fast, too. Karma's like, it does.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Yeah, that mirror, fast. I was like, damn it.

[Taylor Rooks]

Damn it.

[Gabrielle Union]

I should have been concentrating on my own ankles. Public failure, public humiliation feels like death because it kind of is a death. It's an ego death. But that ego needed to go anyway. So don't fear, fear not. Oh, the people will move on. The murder hornets will come. The river will turn red. I don't know, the aliens and the orbs or whatever, people move on. Like, you're not as important as you want to feel like you are. And everyone makes, you know, mistakes. And sometimes those mistakes are whole ass marriages. And it's the shame and the fear that keeps you in it longer than necessary. It's probably the shame and the fear that allowed you to accept the ring or go on the third date. The fear of being alone or not chosen or whatever. I would have definitely told her like, stop now, stop. You feel like you see all of your friends getting married and, and you see them starting to have families and their careers are. You're like, oh my God, I am a loser. Not just a little loser, like a loo loser. It feels like there's a neon loser sign over your head and there's not. The only person who sees that is you. Absolutely. The only person who sees that is you. And perhaps family or friends that you need to cut off. Anyway, you're killing it. Even if you just got up today and brush your teeth. Though I have many a day not brushed nor flossed and because I just didn't have it. But I opened my eyes because when I wanted to just maybe if I go to sleep and I just don't wake up, that's best. But you wake up, it's a win. It's a win. And that might be it for the day. Just opening your eyes. But we have to take every single win because that might be, that really might be your win for the week, but maybe the next week. Now we're brushing, we're flossing, you know, like we might, you know, I don't know, turn our camera on, on the zoom. I don't know. I don't know. But there's things to shoot for and this is not the end. It's not the end.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Thank you so much to Google Shopping for sponsoring this episode. Okay, so holiday party season is here. And while I'm all about the connection low key, the pressure to find the right look for every event can be a lot. At the same time, I'm trying to be really intentional with my wardrobe. Investing in high quality, versatile pieces that I'll wear again and again, not just some random dress that sits in my closet. The process of ordering a bunch of items, trying them on, and then having to return everything is a waste of time. But this year I found a major glow up for my shopping game. Google's try on feature. It's a total game changer for intentional shopping. Instead of the buy and return drama, I can see how something actually looks on my body before I even click purchase. You just find a piece you're vibing with on Google Shopping, hit, try it on, upload a full body pic, and the holiday magic comes to life when Google shows how the outfit will look on you. It's my secret to making sure that what I'm buying fits my aesthetic and has good value. No more guessing if a piece is worth it. It's made. Curating my holiday looks so much more mindful and stress free. Finding an outfit that makes you feel amazing is a form of self care and this just makes that process so much easier. So if you're trying to thoughtfully build a wardrobe you love without the usual hassle, you have to try it. Go to G Co Shop Tryon. Trust me, your holiday season will be a lot chicer and way less stressful. If you've been sitting on a business idea, maybe it's a product, a service, something you know people need. This is your sign to go for it. And if what's stopping you is the technical side of things, that is where Shopify comes in. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US. From household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started like yours. You don't need to know how to build a website or write a single line of code. Shopify helps you set up a beautiful online storefront, manage inventory, take payments and grow all in one place. It's seriously beginner friendly. I'm talking drag and drop design, built in AI tools that help write product descriptions and marketing features that actually make sense. And if you're already up and running, Shopify's powerful tools scale with you from side hustle to full time CEO. Now I can say When I set up my online shop to sell my digital planners earlier this year, I was incredibly nervous about the process. I'd never sold a digital product before, but Shopify made it so easy to get the shop up and running. So I can vouch for how user friendly this software really is. In 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com balance black girl go to shopify.com balanceblack girl that's shopify.com balance blackgirl hear your first this new year with Shopify by your side. At this point, I have accepted that I'm going to be on my feet a lot. Whether it's running errands, hopping from event to event, or pacing around during a podcast brainstorm, or just walking to get to and from. So when I find shoes that are actually supportive and look cute, I stick with them. My current go to is the Wok Slim Glide from Vionic. They're lightweight, stylish and honestly just super easy to wear. I've worn them for full days on my feet and I actually still feel good after, which is saying a lot. Bionic shoes are Backed by more than 20 years of science, their viomotion footbed supports every step from your heels to your arches to the balls of your feet. You can tell the difference the second you put them on. It's like your foot finally has the support it's been asking for. And the best part, you don't have to sacrifice style for comfort. Vionix sneakers, boots, flats, all of them are designed with both in mind. I've gotten compliments on mine from friends who had no idea that they were orthopedic. Step into the holidays with shoes that support your style and your well being. Head to vionics shoes.com and use the code Lucky at checkout for 15% off your entire order. Again, don't suffer in uncomfortable shoes if you don't have to. Bionic has so many cute, comfortable options. Again, that's Bionic. V I O N I C Shoes.com code Lucky for 15% off. Some exclusions apply. In that conversation with Gabrielle. I especially loved the discussion of owning your wins. And it actually reminded me a lot of the conversation that I had just a month later with Alexis. Barber actually welcomed Alexis to the show for the second time. And we talked about how being likable is kind of a trap and how the luckiest thing you can do for yourself is really emphasize your power and instead of becoming smaller to fit someone else's idea of what is relatable. So let's go back to that episode and revisit our conversation.

[Alexis Barber]

I'm not likable and I'm not relatable and I'm not having. I'm not interested in being like either of those things anymore because I'm much more interested in being happy and being myself.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

It's a trap being likable.

[Alexis Barber]

It's literally a trap to keep you small. People still question, you know, my legitimacy all the time. So I think it's like a matter of being confident in your own career and only this year's that happened when I was forced to make a resume for the first time and I was like, you know what?

[Nicole Walters]

I'm really that girl.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Absolutely. The credentials are there.

[Alexis Barber]

The credentials are there. I was like, I have to remind myself once in a while.

[Shiata Njay]

For sure.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Yeah, I think about it a lot.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Too, with the conversation around relatability in.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Influencers, which is the latest thing that grinds my gears.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Please, again. Because I think that the pressure to be relatable is only put on successful women. Nobody looks at a successful man at the top of his game and tells him he needs to be more relatable.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Yeah, we do that usually for women.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

In this female dominated industry, 100%.

[Alexis Barber]

And I think I've watched this play out many times because I, I mean I've been a consumer of content for a long time and like I've been on the Internet for about four and a half years now. And so I've seen from the jump though my very first hate comments that I got in the beginning were about me needing to humble myself. And that was for me like really hard when you're a 21 or 22 year old. And yeah, I went to Northwestern, yeah.

[Gabrielle Union]

I worked at Google.

[Alexis Barber]

But like, had I really accomplished anything, you know, that I truly wanted to do? I don't know, like, you know what I mean? Like when you're building your own adult confidence for the first time, to hear that you should be smaller just because you are already exceptional is a really like hard thing to grapple with. And I've noticed it time and time again, even when I'm at Wharton surrounded by, you know, the top 1% of earners and these people who come from elite backgrounds. For context. I come from like a very low income, like underprivileged background. And so to be successful and young and around them incites a lot of disdain. And I think doing it in this environment and being able to overcome that and feel a sense of pride in who I am and feel confident in an environment like that, which I didn't feel that way on day one, but I do now at the end of my time there. Now it feels like I can sort of conquer anybody on the Internet because I've done it in real life. I'm not trying to be relatable and I have no interest in relating to you. I hope we get along, I hope we have fun. I hope that you guys can like enjoy my content. But I don't make content to make you feel, I guess, better about necessarily your exact situation because no one's lived your exact situation and you have your exact situation and that's great for you. And I really have always been inspired by the creators that I follow or entertained by them at least. And I've never tried to sort of make them more relatable to me. I've always tried to sort of grow and take from them what I the qualities that I enjoy. And so I do understand though being triggered because that happens when you're insecure and when you're insecure and you don't self reflect, of course you're gonna be triggered when somebody's doing well. And if you don't take a second and chill out on that, then you're not gonna learn the lesson that the universe is begging you to learn from it. And so I built in a sort of like risk taking ability into my early 20s by even if I completely failed in my early career, I could go and I could, you know, change the course of my career if I wanted to. Will I change the course of my career?

[Nicole Walters]

I don't know.

[Alexis Barber]

Said yes to a lot. I pivoted a lot in the beginning. You need to change to get your external reality to reflect how you see yourself.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

So going into 2025, I knew that this was going to be a really big year, especially for the podcast, because I knew that I had the intention to rebrand the show. But rebranding the show didn't just stop with the name of the show. It meant that I also had to go through a bit of a personal rebrand and a period of growth to really show up as the version of myself who hosted this new vision of the show. And that is why I kicked off the year with a solo episode all.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

About how to rebrand your life, because.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

It was the process that I was going through at that time to show up as this next version of myself. And so if you are on the cusp of a personal rebrand, if you feel yourself evolving into the next version of yourself, you are going to love this lucky moment from that episode.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a branding or personal development expert)]

The first step to conducting your personal rebrand is to identify three words that you want to embody. This year, this quarter in life, moving forward for whatever set of time resonates with you, pick three words that you want to embody. This is super important because this is going to be foundational to your rebrand. These three words are really going to set the tone for everything you do moving forward. My three words were authentic, abundant, and chic. So as I'm going about my personal rebrand, these are the three words at the front of my mind. Quality over quantity. Focusing less on being prolific, and focusing more on quality and being elevated. Write down three words that you truly want to embody as part of your personal rebrand. So the next step is crafting your visual identity. So this is how you embody those three words from a visual standpoint. This could be everything from how you tend to your living space to how you tend to your workspace, to how you dress and how you visually present yourself, because a lot of people are very visual. And when we think about our brand and how we we communicate with our brand. We want those words that we identified and that version of ourselves to also be available visually. So think about how those words that you identified could be conveyed from a visual perspective. For each of your three words, think about a color or textures or different aesthetics that could relate to them. So it's really important to know your story. This is all about knowing your words.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Why?

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a branding or personal development expert)]

I mean, in a normal week, how often do we get asked, so what do you do? So where are you from? So what do you want? We get asked these questions all the time, and we tend to give really generic answers. But when you know your story, when you know your experiences, when you are super crystal clear on what it is about you that makes you you and where you want to go, you're able to craft more powerful explanations, more powerful answers to these questions that can help you really embody the elevated, rebranded version of yourself that you truly want to be. So when you know exactly what your triggers are, you know exactly what your motivations are, why you do the things you do, and why you want the things that you want, there is so much power in that because you understand yourself. It's like a manual to who you are, and you know how to move accordingly. And if you are ever in a position, position where you do have to share those things, or you do share your story, or you do share your background, you're able to control the narrative because you already know what it is and you've already crafted it so you can control the narrative to really fit that rebranded version of yourself. And then the last step when it comes to identifying your brand identity is about really understanding your impact. So how do you want to impact the people around you? And if you have a big platform, then maybe your impact is going to reach a little bit wider. But all of us have impact. All of us have influence over the people in our lives and the people who we interact with the most. And so being really clear on how you show up for the people in your life and what your impact is on other people is super important. So how can you tie the impact of that you have on other people and on the world to those words that you want to embody? So starting with time, getting really clear on how you spend your time and do this honestly and do this without judgment. How much time does it take me to commute?

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Okay.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a branding or personal development expert)]

How much time does it take me to do these tasks at work? How much time does it take me to get through my morning routine?

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

How much time do I spend on.

[Guest or Contributor (possibly a branding or personal development expert)]

Social media in that I guarantee that you will be able to find some pockets of time that you can spend a little bit differently. And when you're really clear on how you're spending your time and you can reallocate it or re budget it towards your rebrand.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Anytime you're going through a period of personal growth or you are rebranding or up leveling in some way, it is really important to hold your own vision. And so coming off of that, how to rebrand your life, rewind. I really wanted to throw it over to the episode that we did with sports journalist Taylor Rooks, because she shared so many, many helpful insights about how to stay true to your vision, how to cut through the noise to be focused on what it is you want to be. And we had to rewind to that moment here.

[Taylor Rooks]

Your opinion is the opinion.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

When we rely too much on outside opinions, even with people that we love, even with people that we trust, even with people that may have good intentions, sometimes other people's either limiting belief or limitations or things that they think are or are not possible, when we rely too much on outside opinions can start to seep in.

[Taylor Rooks]

It's very easy to become other people's projections. When you are hearing something so much, you're starting to think, are they right? Do I do that? Like, is that me? And as much as you, like, try to resist it. There are just things that I think happen because of osmosis. You're just hearing something over and over and over again. Which is why what you tell yourself, like, you have to say that as often as you might hear the its counterpart. We sometimes don't even realize when something is a limit. And sometimes when you're trying to ask somebody else about yourself, they only know what they know. But you know everything about you. And some people don't understand your ability or even your mobility that you can do X, Y and Z, because maybe they've only seen you do X. It's silly to think that somebody else knows you more than you know yourself. Every day is a dream. You know, like, I enjoy going to work. I enjoy everybody that I work with. You know, I get to do the thing that I have wanted to do since literally as long as I can remember. And I'm thankful for that every single day because it's. It always never feels real. It's like, what is the downside of this thing that I'm doing? Cause I. I only feel like it's. Which is also another thing that I am working through. Always feeling like bad is around the corner because there's so much good. I feel like a dream every single day.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Yeah. Feeling like the other shoe is going to drop is so persistent.

[Gabrielle Union]

Why do you think that is?

[Taylor Rooks]

I don't know. And I used to hate saying it until I realized everyone feels that way. Until I would just have conversations with particularly women and we would all have this similar, like, anxiety about feeling joy, like there's maybe too much of it. And so now I really start to think about just having a large capacity for goodness. Because why is it that I'm always thinking I don't, I don't deserve this like, good, happy joy that I'm feeling right now. And I, I don't know why it is so persistent. I just know that it is. And I just. And I think it's really important to just name it and recognize it when it is happening because I sort of used to just have the feeling and then keep going. But now I say, why? Why am I thinking bad? Why do I. Why do I feel like this? Things are good. Life is good. I am operating in a space that isn't reality. I am mad about a thing or sad about a thing, or anxious about a thing that literally hasn't happened and just reminding myself of that.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

But I think it's to keep ourselves safe from, from disappointment.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Because sometimes if, if bad things inevitably happen, like life, life's for everybody. And I think that if it happens abruptly or if it feels very jarring, that can feel not worse.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

But if it, if you feel caught.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

Off guard, it's like, oh, I was not prepared for this thing. And so I think sometimes we tend to skew towards over preparation for bad.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Things happening out of fear of disappointment or not wanting to get too excited.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

When good things happen out of either.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Fear of it going away or not wanting to be disappointed if it doesn't work out. Something that I've tried to do is be just as prepared for like, good.

[Taylor Rooks]

It is important to not feel married to social media. One of the best things I did was like early in my career, letting go of social media because I, and I am, I am not being dramatic when I say this. It's like, I think social media will ruin you if you care too much about it. You can't care about the comments of others. You can't read them. You can't make their comments change what you do or don't do.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

There you have it, the seven luckiest pieces of advice that you need to head into the new year. Leave us a comment and let us know which one was your favorite. And also if you liked these gems that we shared from this year, make sure that you check out the full episodes. We've linked them all in the description for you to either listen for the.

[Co-host (likely a close collaborator or co-host of the podcast)]

First time or re listen.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

And as a reminder, make sure you're subscribed to she's so Lucky so that you don't miss an episode. We drop every Tuesday and I would hate for you to miss a single moment. Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode episode of she's so Lucky. If you're ready to create your own luck, hit that subscribe button wherever you get your podcasts or on YouTube so you don't miss an episode and head to the show. Notes for resources, links and discount codes. And if you are really feeling lucky, we would appreciate your rating and your review. It really helps us be able to improve the show to get great guests and to understand what you want to hear more of. Thank you for tuning in and I'll see you you next week.

[Josh Peck]

Hey, I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Soffer and we're the Good Guys. On our show every week we talk about buzzy pop culture stories, maybe answer a couple of your voicemails and go into a moment of the week that makes you say, what, are you nuts? And I swear it's so much better than this one promo. Anyway, there's a lot of guys out there, but we're the good ones. Stream Good Guys every Monday wherever you get your podcasts. Apple, Spotify, anywhere. Neil It. Don't listen.

[Host (likely Ali Krieger)]

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.