Visibility Won't Save You (Here's What Will)

Summary

She’s So Lucky – Episode Summary
Episode Title: Visibility Won’t Save You (Here’s What Will)
Host: Les Alfred
Date: June 2, 2026

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Main Theme / Purpose

In this solo episode, Les Alfred explores the true meaning and pitfalls of visibility, particularly for ambitious women. Challenging the common narrative that visibility is the key to success, Les dives deep into the distinction between being visible and truly being seen. She shares insights about handling public critique, prepares listeners for the inevitable “post-peak pivot” after a major success, and emphasizes the importance of crafting authentic, sustainable strategies for growth and fulfillment.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Reflections on The Podcast’s Theme Format (00:12–01:10)

• Les announces this month as the end of structured “themes” for the podcast, citing the challenges of booking relevant guests and expressing a preference for more organic, “vibes-based” episodes in the future.
• Quote: “As much as I loved the themes...after this second half of the year, it’s going to be vibes.” (00:39)

2. Visibility vs. Being Seen (01:10–04:54)

• Visibility means just being noticed by as many people as possible; being seen is about being truly understood by the right people.
• Les stresses how visibility doesn’t always equate to positive outcomes. The wrong kind of visibility can open doors to criticism, misunderstanding, and burnout.
• Quote: “There was a time where I would have thought the more visible the better...but I realized it hasn’t been good visibility or the right kind of visibility.” (01:55)
• The distinction: “When you have people in your life who truly see you...that is entirely different than a bunch of people just wanting access to you for reasons that may not be so luck inducing.” (03:35)

3. The Fear of Being Seen and Public Critique (04:54–10:33)

• Les articulates why, in the current social climate, it can feel actively dangerous to be seen or stand out, especially for women and women of color.
• She’s critical of today’s “internet accountability,” expressing that public shaming often isn’t true accountability—it’s venting misplaced frustration.
• Quote: “Everybody is mean as hell. Okay...People are tired...the ways that most people are handling that are basically going on social media and tearing down everyday people...” (04:56)
• Quote: “I actually think Internet accountability is kind of bullshit at this point...you’re often not in a position to hold those people accountable.” (05:27)
• Despite the risks, being seen by the right people is necessary for success and growth: “Luck has to find you working. You can’t keep your desires and aspirations to yourself all of the time and expect them to come true.” (07:49)

4. How to Strategically Embrace Visibility (07:49–10:33)

• Les advocates for being selective about whom you share your aspirations with and focusing on resonating with and being understood by key people, not everyone.
• Quote: “When we focus less on being seen by everybody all the time, and more on being seen by the right people, it can help us overcome that fear of being seen...” (09:08)

5. The Post-Peak Pivot: Planning For What’s Next (15:54–28:17)

• Les introduces the concept of the “post peak pivot”—a strategy designed to avoid burnout or backlash after reaching a high point.
  • After significant success, public interest or acceptance can turn, especially for women.
  • The importance of packing your “parachute” (having a plan) before reaching your peak.
• Examples of women in the public eye:
  • Mel Robbins: Once widely celebrated, but after hitting a saturation point, public sentiment shifted to criticism (“people began kind of getting sick of her messaging and her delivery…” 19:51).
  • Taylor Swift: Suggests Swift could have benefited from a pause after the Eras Tour instead of constant visibility (“...back to back albums that had kind of a weird reception...the discourse...has just been really weird.” 22:08).
  • Rihanna: Praised as a model for stepping back at her peak, building businesses, and living on her own terms (“...she’s built multiple businesses...it’s probably been more fulfilling for her and has made her way more money.” 25:49).
  • Reese Witherspoon: Pivoted to production and business, finding new fulfillment and success beyond acting high-points.
• Quote: “As a highly successful woman, you need to be extremely aware that once you reach that peak...there is actually a really sharp cliff on the other side.” (16:08)
• The takeaway: Plan ahead for the next phase before you hit your milestone—don’t tie your entire identity/success to just one visible achievement.

6. Visibility Trap: Oversharing and Exploitation (35:55–41:20)

• Les cautions against “slutting yourself out for the Internet” and oversharing dramas for engagement.
• Documenting every struggle openly can backfire, attracting an audience that expects misery and departs when things improve.
• Building in public has limits: real trust and support come from showing resilience and solution, not just pain.
• Quote: “All press is not good press. Even though we think it is, it’s not...do not exploit yourself for the sake of hoping you get ahead.” (35:55)
• Quote: “Cheap engagement, oversharing the mess and over getting that quick response out of people may not be helping your ultimate goal.” (38:24)

7. Authenticity, Fulfillment, and Power Dynamics (41:20–47:09)

• Fulfillment comes from within and from authentic self-knowledge, not constant applause or validation from others.
• The power does not come from who is seeing you; it comes from your willingness to let your talents and authenticity be witnessed (“The power doesn’t come from who is seeing you. The power comes from you being willing to let people see your magic.” 44:18).
• Luck is created by showing up authentically and radiating from within, not by waiting for a gatekeeper to “save” you.
• Quote: “Every IT girl has to evolve. Every peak has a ceiling. It doesn’t mean that’s a call to shrink; it’s a call to expand in a different direction.” (45:14)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “There was a time where I would have thought the more visible the better...but I realized it hasn’t been good visibility or the right kind of visibility.” – Les (01:55)
• “Everybody is mean as hell. Okay...People are tired...the ways that most people are handling that are basically going on social media and tearing down everyday people...” (04:56)
• “I actually think Internet accountability is kind of bullshit at this point...” (05:27)
• “Luck has to find you working. You can’t keep your desires and aspirations to yourself all of the time and expect them to come true.” (07:49)
• “When we focus less on being seen by everybody all the time, and more on being seen by the right people, it can help us overcome that fear of being seen...” (09:08)
• “As a highly successful woman, you need to be extremely aware that once you reach that peak...there is actually a really sharp cliff on the other side.” (16:08)
• “All press is not good press. Even though we think it is, it’s not.” (35:55)
• “Cheap engagement, oversharing the mess and over getting that quick response out of people may not be helping your ultimate goal.” (38:24)
• “The power doesn’t come from who is seeing you. The power comes from you being willing to let people see your magic.” (44:18)
• “Every IT girl has to evolve. Every peak has a ceiling. It doesn’t mean that’s a call to shrink; it’s a call to expand in a different direction.” (45:14)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:12 – Les explains the end of monthly themed episodes and introduces the topic of visibility.
• 01:10 – Visibility vs. being seen—definitions and significance.
• 04:54 – On the risks and fears of being seen, especially in today’s internet culture.
• 07:49 – The necessity of sharing your desires to create opportunities (“luck has to find you working”).
• 15:54 – Introduction and explanation of the “post peak pivot.”
• 19:51 – Mel Robbins as a case study for post-peak challenges.
• 22:08 – Taylor Swift: challenges after career peaks and not pausing.
• 25:49 – Rihanna and Reese Witherspoon as post-peak pivot success stories.
• 35:55 – The dangers of oversharing for visibility and why all press is not good press.
• 38:24 – How attracting the wrong audience can erode trust and connection.
• 41:20 – The importance of strategy in who you become visible to, keeping your power, and finding fulfillment internally.
• 44:18 – How real power comes from authentic self-expression, not simply being seen by the “right” person.
• 45:14 – Evolving beyond career peaks—not shrinking, but expanding in new ways.

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Summary Takeaways

• Visibility is not automatically positive or a pure pathway to luck and success; being seen and understood by the right people is what matters.
• Women, especially ambitious ones, must prepare for backlash or critique as they gain visibility.
• The concept of the “post peak pivot” is vital—plan your next move before you reach your mountaintop.
• Oversharing or documenting every challenge for engagement can hurt more than help. Share strategically and with discernment.
• Empowerment comes from authentic self-knowledge, careful cultivation of community, and owning your narrative—luck is created from within and through intentional connections, not solely by external validation.

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Closing Notes

Les encourages listeners to avoid seeking validation through perpetual visibility and instead focus on building authentic, resonant connections, internal fulfillment, and a forward-looking strategy for their professional and personal growth.

End on affirmation:
“What you want isn’t necessarily on the other side of someone else holding the keys…what you want is on the other side of you being willing to show up authentically and to shine bright enough to let them witness the greatness that you already have.” (46:28)

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This summary omits ads, sponsorships, and unrelated sections per instruction.

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media Production.

[B]

Welcome back to she's so Lucky. Thank you so much for joining me for this month's solo episode. So we are at the halfway point of the year, which I can hardly believe, and so far this year we've had running themes every month on the show.

[A]

So.

[B]

So we had themes like how to get what you want in the business of you and lucky girls invest and how to bet on yourself. And we have one more theme coming for you this year and that is this month. I am going to be discontinuing the themes after this month because it was actually becoming really difficult to keep the show going with having such strict themes. It was making it really tricky to book guests. And if we had any last minute changes or cancellations, finding someone who could fit the theme was just really challenging. So as much as I loved the themes and we're going to continue the theme this month after this second half of the year, it's going to be Vibes. So I knew with it being our last theme it had to be a really good one. And so when I was thinking about what I wanted this month's theme to be, the word that kept sticking out to me was visibility. Because visibility has been a pretty hot topic this year, particularly amongst successful, ambitious women, which if you're watching this show or listening to this show, that's likely the type of content that you're consuming, because that's what we talk about here. But when I say visibility, I don't necessarily mean that I'm going to sit here and tell you that you need to be more visible or that visibility is the key to being luckier and getting what you want. Over the past month or two, as I've seen conversations around visibility unfold, I've actually started changing my mind about visibility a lot. There was a time where I would have thought the more visible the better. I thought that for myself, I thought that for other people, like in order to get where we want, we need to be as visible as possible at all times. That's the only way to get ahead, that's the only way to grow, that's the only way to move forward. And I've had a bit of a change in perspective, I think, from some instances where I have gotten more visibility. But I realized it hasn't been good visibility or the right kind of visibility. I also want to unpack what visibility actually is and I also want to distinguish a bit the difference between being visible and truly being seen. When I think about visibility, it's this idea of getting a message out to as many people as possible, whether it resonates, whether it doesn't, whether you get good feedback, whether you get bad feedback, it's just constant shouting and amplification that to me feels incredibly different than actually being seen and being understood. And I think that that can resonate from a career perspective, but I think it can also resonate from a personal perspective. When you have people in your life who truly see you and understand you and who want to know who you are and want to know how you're feeling because they genuinely care about you, that is entirely different than a bunch of people just wanting access to you for. For reasons that may not be so luck inducing, I guess I can say. But before we dive into today's conversation about visibility and why I actually think that we should start changing how we talk about visibility, I wanted to do a few housekeeping things. First of all, over 70% of people who watch she's so Lucky are not subscribed to the show, which to me is not giving Lucky Girl energy. Lucky Girl energy comes when you hit that subscribe button. Because new episodes drop every single Tuesday, subscribing to the show is the best way to help the show. It is completely free. I'm here every week. You can hang out with me. You can hang out with our amazing guests. We're dropping amazing gems that are helping you create your own luck. It's really a win win. I also heard that if you subscribe to the show that something lucky happens, so you may want to test that theory. And two, if you want to deepen what you hear on the show, you also need to make sure that you're subscribed to the she's so Lucky newsletter, which is linked in the description. Because every week I'm sending out recaps of the episodes, key takeaways, journal prompts, so can actually implement what you hear. So if you're only listening to the show and you're not doing anything to apply after Girl, that's not giving Lucky energy either. You gotta take the next step and actually apply it. Subscribing to the newsletter is the best way to do that. So back to our conversation around visibility and the difference between visibility and being seen. I think for a lot of us, when it comes to not wanting to be seen, the fear of that is so real. And I actually think that the fear of being seen is more valid than ever because we're currently in a time where literally everybody is mean as hell. Okay.

[A]

For a lot of reasons.

[B]

Everything is crumbling around us. People are tired, people are out of work, people are sick, people are losing their rights, they're losing their benefits, they're broke. Like, there's a lot to be frustrated about. And the ways that most people are handling that are basically going on social media and tearing down everyday people or maybe tearing down somebody who seems like they might be marginally doing better than you, because it's so much easier to get your frustration out there. And I think when we spend so much time feeling like it's our job to be the critic of everything and to critique everything and to hold everybody accountable for everything, that's not the best way to use our energy. I actually think Internet accountability is kind of bullshit at this point, because when most people say, oh, so and so needs to be held accountable, I'm holding them accountable, you're often not in a position to hold those people accountable. You're not the judge, you're not the jury. If you're not somebody who was directly impacted by their behavior or in community with them, dragging them on the Internet or wanting them to be publicly humiliated, whether they made a small mistake or a big mistake or anything in between is not actual accountability. Again, it's you taking out your frustration on somebody who probably can't do anything to change the predicament that you're in that's making you frustrated. And I think because so many of us are in a space where we collectively see that happen all of the time, we see people being dragged constantly for the littlest things, the littlest hiccups, the littlest mistakes, especially if you're a woman. And then if you're a woman with some melanin on top of that, the smaller the mistake, honestly, the more you get dragged, it can be really, really scary to either want to be visible or to want to be seen. But the thing is, in order for you to be lucky, to call in the thing that you want, whatever that is, it is going to require a bit of you being perceived. Whether that is being perceived by co workers, whether that's being perceived by people in your community, whether that is, for some of us, being perceived by people on the Internet. And as scary as that can be, oftentimes luck has to find you working. You can't keep your desires and aspirations to yourself all of the time and expect them to come true. There does need to be a little bit of sharing that with other people so that things can come to you. However, I do not think that a willingness to share what your desires are or a Willingness to put yourself out there are automatically means that you should be open to any public lashing or draggings either. And unfortunately a lot of people don't feel that way. They feel like the more you put yourself out there, the more you potentially deserve to be dragged if you have a misstep or if something happens. But I think that a willingness to put yourself out there is actually really brave. A willingness to publicly work towards something that you really want is super brave. But. But I don't think that we need to do it willy nilly. I think when we focus less on being seen by everybody all the time and more on being seen by the right people, it can help us overcome that fear of being seen, because we're really focusing on who is going to resonate with our message. When you have people who truly see you, who understand you, who are the correct intended recipients of a message, even if you stumble, they're probably going to understand a bit where you're coming from, or they're probably going to be more likely to have grace for you other than just having a loudspeaker and speaking to anyone and everyone. Because the less invested in you people are, the easier it is for them to also write you off immediately. And so I think that there's a lot of power. Instead of feeling like you need everybody everywhere to know everything that you're doing, of really understanding who are the gatekeepers in the spaces that I'm trying to enter, who could I be in community with that's actually going to help me get to the next level? And how can I make sure that I am visible or being seen by them? That doesn't necessarily mean being seen by everybody, but it means being seen and understood by the people who truly matter. And when we focus on that, the idea of being seen feels a lot less scary. This is something that I struggle with too, because trust and believe. I get my fair share of critiques and feedback and unsolicited criticism. But the people who truly understand my message and who truly understand where we're going and who it's truly for really hear me. And even if they do maybe offer something constructive, it is actually constructive. And that's a big difference from trying to yell in the face of somebody who just doesn't get it and is never going to get it. And when you focus on that, it becomes so much less scary. Okay, so that's my little pep talk to help you overcome the fear of being seen. Because even if you're not trying to be famous, even if you're not trying to be an Internet person at some point to get what you want and to get to where you want to be. Somebody needs to see you, somebody needs to hear you. Somebody needs to understand your gifts and your message. Because nobody got to where they're going by themselves.

[C]

This message is brought to you by Apple Card. For a limited time, when you get a new Apple card and purchase AirPods Pro 3 at Apple, you can earn back the cost up to 250 daily cash. New AirPods Pro and up to $250 bonus daily cash back. Now that's music to my ears. Subject to credit approval limitations and spend requirements apply. Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs bank usa Salt Lake City Branch terms and more at Apple Co AirPods.

[B]

So we're going to take a quick

[A]

break from today's episode for a segment from today's sponsor, Nebula Spiritual Guidance Space. Now this is for my girls who like leaning into their lucky tools. Nebula's mission is to foster self discovery, spiritual wisdom and genuine connection in love life and within. So you can get get one on one chats with over 1500 spiritual advisors from around the world who are available 247 whenever you need them most.

[B]

And I thought that the best way

[A]

to share a little bit more about Nebula was for me to get a reading today so that you can see

[B]

what they're all about. So today I'm going to be having

[A]

a reading with Hillary, who is one of Nebula's spiritual advisors. So Hillary, thanks for joining me.

[D]

Hi. Thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be here. I have my tarot card deck ready. So do you have a specific question for me today?

[A]

I do have a specific question. So I feel like I'm really at a crossroads in my career currently where I'm trying to decide if it's time for me to branch out and try something new or if I should continue on the path that I'm going on. So I would love to hear your thoughts about that.

[D]

Perfect. I was hoping it had to do with work.

[B]

So this is great.

[D]

Gave my guards a good shuffle. Now, being a spiritual advisor for Nebula, there's all kinds of different tools, but I will say my favorite is using tarot cards for clarity. So let's see what we have here. Oh, okay. Starting off strong, we have the Knight of Wands. Now the Wands cards are all about creativity. So and the knight comes kind of on his horse, charging through. This is all about new ideas, new creative ideas, new artistic abilities within. So this is a great start to this Question. I feel like right now you're really in your power and you know what you have to offer other people and you're excited. So let's see. Seven of cups next. This shows a range of choices, so I would say there are a few paths in front of you that you're thinking about taking for work. Most likely. Let's see. Let's see if we can get us any more clarity on where to turn. Oh, okay, Perfect. The last card I have for you is the page of cups and this one is a surprise right around the corner. So think of it as there's something incredibly magical and wonderful for you just around the corner. I think you are on the right path. I think you're headed towards something really great with work. I think there's going to be some surprises, but good surprises ahead of you.

[A]

Okay, I like the sound of that.

[B]

So it looks like new things right

[A]

around the corner, but to stay on the path.

[D]

Yes, Absolutely amazing.

[A]

Thank you so much, Hilary. I do feel like I got a lot of clarity just around my next steps from there. So I really appreciate you taking the time to give me a reading today.

[D]

Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

So if you're in a moment where

[A]

you feel like you need clarity or you just want someone to listen, make sure you check out Nebula Spiritual space. You can get three minutes for a free chat with three psychics matched to you.

[B]

Are you looking for a safe space for your secret celebrity opinion? Do you need someone who understands your latest Internet obsession? We are a pair of decades long best friends who connect over fussing and discussing all things pop culture. We're your first stop after that TMZ push alert from Higher Ground Audio. I'm Peyton Dix. And I'm Hunter Harris. And this is, let me say this. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Now, another part of this conversation that I think is really important to understand and is if you are somebody who identifies as an ambitious or success minded woman, there is also a certain amount of pushback that you need to be prepared for. And this was something that I had mentioned on social media earlier in the year and I called it the post peak pivot. And I've had a few months to really flesh out the idea of what the post peak pivot looks like and why I think every lucky, ambitious, success minded woman needs to be mindful of her post peak pivot and have one in place. Okay. So you might be wondering, what is the post peak pivot? Your post peak pivot is essentially a soft landing that you reach after you hit a peak. So for most of us, if we are aspiring to do something, if we have a big, lofty, audacious goal, it can be really tempting to think, I'm going to reach this personal or professional high and, and then when I get there, that's it.

[A]

I'm just gonna stay there forever and

[B]

everything's going to be perfect. And then I'm a certified lucky girl and I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this. That is not the reality. In fact, as a highly successful woman, you need to be extremely aware that once you reach that peak, that mountaintop, that thing that you've been working towards for so long, there is actually a really sharp cliff on the other side. And having a post peak pivot is basically like having a parachute for yourself so that you can kind of glide to the next peak instead of falling off of that cliff. Because the truth of the matter is, we live in a society that honestly hates women in general, but especially hates women who have autonomy, who have a sense of success, who have a sense of self. It is incredibly difficult. And so when you are somebody who is maybe visible or, or who is seen, or who is public facing, or even if you're not public facing, but you just got your shit going on, there are going to be people who only want to see that for a very short amount of time. And the longer you stay at that peak, the more and more people are going to hate it and they are going to want to tear you down, they're going to want to push you off over that cliff, and it might even be subconscious. I don't even think people realize that they're doing it. Kind of like what I said earlier, where it was like, everybody is a critic. Everyone thinks it's their job to critique. Everybody thinks it's their job to hold everybody on the Internet accountable. Some of these things are so deeply embedded in us that when people see a woman who has been successful and has been successful for too long and want to start tearing her down, it's almost not even like a conscious thing, because it's something that so many people were raised to do. And the unfortunate truth is that some of those people doing that might actually be close to you. Some of those people doing that might have seen everything it took to get you to that point and not care and still want to knock you down. Some of the people who want to knock you down may also look like you. And that is just the harsh reality that if you are somebody who does have really big plans for your life that you're following through on, you need to be prepared for. So I'm not here to burst your bubble to say that being visible is bad or being successful is bad, or that you only get one peak to be super successful and then everything is downhill after. But I'm saying if you do want to avoid a situation where everything is downhill after that, you almost gotta be thinking about what your next move is before you even get to that mountaintop. Because for a lot of us, if you like, she's so lucky. If you follow me, if you're into this kind of content, myself included, we're still climbing. Like, none of us are at the peak yet. But while we're climbing up to the peak, we need to make sure that we're packing that parachute. And that is what understanding your post peak pivot is. It is what is that next move that you're making after you hit that peak. Because unfortun, you can't stay at that peak forever. Eventually you will get to a point where either you overstay a welcome, where people want to start bringing you down, where maybe the role that you're in is going to begin to shift because there is a climate shift or an industry shift or a world shift, and really understanding what your next move is is going to be crucial. Now this is something that I've been studying for a while and why I became so fascinated with this was because I love studying successful women. It's something I've done my whole ad life. But I've noticed a pattern that when a woman has a moment that is really exciting, often in career, because I feel like that's what's visible for most people. We reach a point where everyone kind of turns on her, where people who once loved her get kind of sick of her, where all of a sudden there are these negative connotations with qualities that she probably always had that people first found endearing, but after a certain amount of success, then become a bad thing. A few examp of people who I think this has happened to, one would be Mel Robbins. Mel girl can't seem to catch a break these days. In the court of public opinion, I'm not at all like affiliated with Mel and don't know her, but in watching her career, I do think it's been really interesting to see her trajectory. Where a couple of years ago Mel was like that girl. She had one of the top podcasts in the world and was speaking on all of these big stages and had, you know, Golden Globe nominations And best selling books and all of these things. But somewhere, a little bit after the release of Let Them, conversations around our friend Mel began to shift. People began kind of getting sick of her messaging and her delivery. People started calling her a grifter. That was a word that I see thrown around with her name a lot. Or they will accuse her of plagiarizing Let Them because of the poet who had written the Let Them poem a few years before she came out with the book. Now, listen, for legal purposes, I'm only. I'm reporting what I see on the Internet. I wouldn't necessarily say that I have an opinion about that, but I'm sharing what I see. And now you get to the point where if you kind of look at the comments underneath Mel's work, it is like people are constantly giving her the business. And I think it's because she reached this peak of saturation and then just kept pushing, kept doing, kept pedal to the metal with more of the same work. And when you're a woman, I do think we have to toe that line a little bit differently. It doesn't mean that once you get super successful, you disappear, but I do think it means that you gotta shift your strategy a little bit because the longer you're in people's faces in the same way over and over, the more they're going to poke holes in what you're doing. Another person who I think has suffered from a similar fate would be Ms. Swift a few years ago. Eras tour. Not that I went, but again, this is all from my Internet research. ERAS Tour, like top grossing tour of all time. That was like a magnum opus for her. That was like a career peak of having all of the rights to her music back and all of the re recordings and this big worldwide tour with like doing crazy numbers that peak from when was that like 2023, 2024 for her would have been a really good moment after that to pause, reflect, pour into herself creatively and figure out what was next. Instead, we got back to back albums that had kind of a weird reception compared to all of her previous albums. We got very public relationship. She's at every NFL game and the camera's always on her public engagement. We get, you know, multiple documentaries, multiple movies like Bus Club, Another Club, Another Club. And the discourse around her over the past year and a half or so has just been really weird in ways that I don't think it would have been if she would have just taken a step back for a second after that amazing tour moment, poured into herself, creatively maybe taken a bit of time to put out music that she took her time with a little bit more and maybe not made her immediate relationship so public, then I think she probably would have had a very different response. And she does seem like the kind of person who wants a positive response to everything that she does. And that's not really what's happening. It's because she reached that peak and then continued to, you know, hit and saturate and oversaturate doing the same old thing. And I just don't think that that's something that is smart if you want to have that kind of glide or that soft landing. So these are just some examples where you can see that as women, as very successful women heading towards the top of our game, we have to approach things a little bit differently. Now, I also want to talk about some examples of people who I think have done a better job at this, who have gotten to a type of high or peak and have been able to pivot really beautifully and pivot to other things that are maybe a little bit less visible in the flashy sense, but potentially more lucrative and fulfilling. So I think, number one person who has done the best job at this, you can probably guess who I'm gonna say bad gal, Riri. Okay, Rihanna has been on our necks for the past 20 years, but at this point, she does whatever it is that she wants to do. She spent a solid decade doing the teen 20s pop star thing, like an album every single year, super public. I mean, she owned the 2000 and tens. She really did from like a pop culture standpoint, a fashion standpoint, a music standpoint. Put out 8 albums back to back, ending with Anti 10 years ago. That for a lot of people would consider that to be her best work. Okay, you can go to the club right now and they start playing work and people are gonna go up just as high as they did in 2016. And everybody's been begging her for an album ever since. But here's the thing. If Rihanna would have given us a half assed album in 2018 when people first started begging for it, the same people begging for an album now would have been dragging her then because she would have just been doing it to do it. Instead, she's taken a break from music. She's built multiple businesses that she has made way more money from than she ever did from music. It has afforded her the ability to take a beat, to slow down, to focus on starting a family and living life on her own terms. So that's an example of a Post peak pivot, she got to this point where she reached the peak of being a pop star. She had her best album, critically acclaimed, all these hits. Instead of just continuing to force that, she took a step back. She pivoted to other businesses that maybe were a little bit less visible in terms of music and awards and things like that. It's been more behind the scenes, but it's probably been more fulfilling for her and has made her way more money. So that is an example of a post peak pivot. Another example of a post peak pivot would be a Reese Witherspoon. Obviously, we know of Reese as an actress being in classic films like Legally Blonde, Cruel Intentions, I mean, these are millennial classics. And in 2005 or 2006, she took home the Oscar for Best Actress, which for any actor is like the peak. That's what most actors are working towards. Instead of continuing to take roles that didn't align with her because she found after she won that Oscar, she was having a hard time getting roles in Hollywood that were catered to women, that were catered to women her age that were telling the types of stories she wanted to be a part of, instead of just like taking the scraps and the crumbs of roles that were offered to her. She then created hello Sunshine, which has been an incredible production company that has had this beautiful ecosystem between books and and movies and TV shows centering on women led stories that she also sold a few years ago for $900 million. Okay. And I'm not in Reese's pockets. I'm not counting Reese's money, but I don't think that Legally blonde paid her $900 million. Okay. So even though she's not necessarily front and center acting as much as she once did or in starring roles that she was once in, she pivoted to create another business, to step into more of a founder role. And she still acts as sometimes. That's another example of a pivot where it's a different type of work. It's maybe not as in the spotlight, but again, is incredibly fulfilling, is far more lucrative, and is another version of success. And then also with what she's created, it's also helped a lot of other people, whether it's authors, whether it's other women actors, whether it's other women writers. I mean, we've also last year on the show had Tia Williams, who is an amazing author, whose book Seven Days in June was selected as a hello Sunshine book pick. And that's what changed trajectory of that book and how it was received and became a really big break for her. So sometimes if we focus on not feeling like the thing that got us here has to be the thing that gets us there, we can be rewarded in amazing ways. And that can also help us help other people. One more person who I don't think is fully here yet, but I would be curious to see what she does would be Alandria, who is our breakout star from Love island last year. I think that I could see Alandria being somebody who does the post peak pivot really well. I would consider her one to watch. Cause I don't think she's actually hit her peak yet. I think she's somebody who is still very much ascending and is on a really great path. But it seems like she has a really great team and is making really good moves. And so I'm sure whenever she reaches whatever that peak is, the next move that she makes after that, I'm sure is also going to be a good one. Because it seems like that's really the direction that she's moving in. So these are just some examples of different ways that I've seen really successful women move. And the takeaways I think could apply to all of us. I think that we focus so much on feeling like we need to broadcast every single move that we make. And we need as many people as possible to see every single thing that we do in order for it to be considered a success, in order for it to count, whatever that means. But I really encourage you to take a step back and look at one, what does that sense of fulfillment really look like to you? What does being seen really mean to you? And two, understand that what gets you here will not get you there. And when you do reach that point of that big milestone or that thing that you're working toward, you can enjoy it, you can savor it, you can be so proud of yourself for it. But understand that there will be life after that. So don't burn yourself out trying to get to that point. And don't not have a plan for what to do after that point. And that it is okay if after that point you are not as visible to the powers that be as you once were. That does not make you a failure. That is why I don't think visibility should be the goal. I think that being really smart about what your next moves are, I think planning ahead, I think understanding what feeling really seen and understood means to you is truly the goal. Because when we think about somebody who creates her own luck, she's also Somebody who understands the world that we live in and the different ways that things ebb and flow and understands that she's not defined by just one thing. You're not defined by just one success that you have or one thing that you may be known for. There are so many different things that you can do and be known for and find fun and creativity and fulfillment from. Don't limit yourself to just one thing. Do not feel like once you've had that thing or once that thing or that moment has passed, that there's nothing left to you because there's so much left to you. It's why I don't think that we should tie our identities into any one thing.

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So summer is almost here, which means it's time that a lot of us are getting our protective styles in. Like I know I have my braid appointment ready for me next week. It's hot, we're traveling tis the season. But underneath those braids, the twists, what's going on matters just as much. And we still need to be taking care of our hair. And that is why I've been taking Nutrafol for a few years now. And I'm not stopping anytime soon. I've noticed less shedding and improved hair growth and the confidence boost that comes with that is real. When I'm on top of taking my Nutrafol, I notice so much less shedding, especially when it's time to take my braids out at the end of the summer. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand and the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologists. Their supplements are peer reviewed, nsf, certified for sport and clinically tested. There's a formula for every life stage and no prescription needed.

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So we all know how important taking

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But there have been multiple seasons of my life where I know I genuinely

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needed therapy and could not figure out how to make it work or get the help that I needed. Not because I didn't want to go, but because finding a therapist who actually took my insurance felt like a part time job that I did not have time for and paying out of pocket is not it. And that is exactly why I love today's sponsor, Rula. Rula is a healthcare company that makes it easy to find a licensed therapist who takes your insurance. The average co pay for Rula patients is just $15 a session.

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$15?

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You spend more of that on a smoothie. So let's not act like we can't afford to take care of our mental health. What I love is that Rula matches you with a therapist based on your actual needs, your background, your goals, not just whoever's available but truly the right fit to give you the support that you need. And appointments can be booked as soon as the next day. So no wait list and no run around. You can use your insurance for your physical health, but your mental health also deserves that same level of care. Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high quality therapy that's actually covered by Insurance. Visit rula.com Lucky to get started. That's R-U-L-A.com Lucky you deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget. I think one of the biggest things that keeps people stuck is waiting until something feels perfect before they leap and start the perfect idea, the perfect branding, the perfect business plan. And the truth is, by the time it feels perfect, you've probably waited too long. Because building something is messy. You figure it out as you go. And that's why having the right platform matters so much. And that is why I always point to Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses worldwide and 10% of e commerce in the US from major household names to brands just getting their first idea off the ground, they make it easy to actually launch with clean, ready to use templates and powerful AI tools that can help write your product descriptions, your headlines, even enhance your photos so you're not stuck starting at a blank page trying to get everything perfect. Shopify also helps you grow with built in tools for email and social campaigns, plus everything you need to run your business from inventory to shipping to returns all in one place. And they have 24. 7 customer support, which is huge when you're figuring things out in real time. And when it comes to actually making money, the Shop pay button is known as one of the best converting checkout on the planet, which means more people checking out and fewer dropped carts. So if you've been overthinking it this is your time to start. It's time to turn those what ifs into let's go. Because Lucky girls use Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.comlucky. that's shopify.comlucky shopify.comlucky.

[B]

Now, I also want to say, I think it's really important that we not, for lack of a better word, slut ourselves out for the Internet. What I'm saying is do not exploit yourself for the sake of hoping that you get ahead. All press is not good press. Even though we think it is, it's not. There was maybe a time where that was true. I think we're in a time where it is not true. I do not think that you should be documenting your every move for social media. If you are building something, I don't think that you should be building every single thing that you're doing in public for everyone to take away. I think one of the most important things that you can do as an ambitious woman is to really have discernment about what needs to be shared and where. So if you're somebody who, say, has a business, you may think that building in public is what you need to do because it means that your audience is going to root for you and it means that people are going to be really invested in your business and in your service and in your product or in whatever it is that you're creating. I used to think that too. But the more that I'm in the space, the more that I learn about business, the more that I grow my business, the more that I sit down with other really successful women entrepreneurs, the more that I'm realizing that. I actually don't think that that is the case. I think when we take building in public to this extreme, that we need to post ourselves crying every day about every supply issue and every hiccup that we face in our business. 1 I think that that more than anything is going to attract other founders who want to maybe commiserate with you. Or it's just going to attract people who like seeing you miserable. Same can also be said for, like, content creators. If all you post is your dating woes and mistakes and everything that goes wrong in your love life, you're going to attract a community of people who feed off of that energy. And when inevitably something in your life changes, where maybe you're not so miserable anymore, or maybe your business is taking off, or maybe you do enter a happy relationship or whatever it is because you have attracted people who only come to you for your mess. When the mess is no longer there, those people are no longer going to support you. And that is something that you really need to think about. Doesn't mean that you need to perform perfection all of the time, but it just means that cheap engagement, over sharing the mess and over sharing what's not working and over getting that quick response out of people may not be helping your ultimate goal. That is the difference between visibility that can hurt you versus being truly seen by people who need to see you, which can help you. So let's go back to the business example. Like, I don't necessarily recommend posting on social media every time your business has an issue, every time a supplier messed something up or something like that. I think that there's a difference between customer communication, if you're going to have maybe a product delay or something like that, and airing out the dirty laundry of your business. Because I think for most of your customers and consumers, they're probably not fellow business owners. And it's honestly just going to make them feel like, ooh, can I trust this business? Can I? Am I going to get my stuff when I want it? Is this something that's going to be what I need it to be? This feels kind of messy. I think that you can show human elements to who you are as maybe a founder led brand without making the audience feel uncomfortable. And I think sometimes when we get so focused on visibility at all costs that we put everything out there for everybody to consume, it actually tends to backfire on us. And I've experienced this firsthand when I've posted some things on social media that were like deeply personal and thinking that nobody is gonna see it. Cause usually people don't really see a lot of my content. But of course those are only the things that everybody sees whenever you post those moments. And while it can feel like a compliment to make other people feel seen and felt, does that actually make you feel better? Does attracting people who can only relate to and want to commiserate with you and commiserate with your misery is that who is that actually helping? You know, it's like, oh, I have this problem in my business or I have this problem with this man and I post that I'm upset about it. And then I have all these people who feel the same way engaging because they also feel the same way. And now we're here in this miserable comment section together. Okay, so you're all in this miserable comment section together. But what that's been solved and what is the solution and how is this better it's not. And so I think really understanding that there is a time and a place for those types of conversations, again, in safe spaces amongst friends. I think if you're an entrepreneur, being in masterminds or having like a WhatsApp group or a group chat with other people who have similar businesses as you, who you can talk to those things about is going to be incredibly, incredibly important. But thinking that sharing every bump and mismatch and metric and this and that with the broader public, because you think that's going to give you the visibility that you're looking for, I promise you, I promise you, it's probably not going to. In fact, it could potentially be eroding trust because people may not get to see how capable you are. Now, if you want to share something after you have solved the problem and you want to talk through, hey, here was the challenge, here were the few different things that I tried that didn't work. And here's the thing that I tried that did ultimately work. I think that can be a really beautiful way to share because it has that human element of like, yeah, I kind of messed these things up. Here's the solution, here's why you can trust me. That, I think, is a lot more powerful than turning on your phone and turning on your camera every single time that something goes wrong. So that is the difference between visibility for visibility sake, and then are you working towards some sort of solution? So, all month long on the podcast to close out our final series, before we go back to episodes, just being vibes, we're going to talk a little bit more about visibility and shining and this idea of being seen and what that truly looks like for us from all different areas of life, whether that is in work, whether that is in changing work, whether that is in our friendships and our relationships, and whether or not we feel appreciated. Those are all elements of visibility and being seen that I think are incredibly, incredibly important. But something else that I really want to make sure that I stress is that when we're having these conversations around something like visibility and being visible to the things that we want, I also think it's really important that we don't give our power away. I think it's really important that we don't give our power away to gatekeepers that we think are going to be the unlock for our next big break. I think it's really important that we don't give our power away to social media and to the opinions of people on social media and what they may think, or we don't give Our power away to maybe people that we're in community with who may not understand what it is that we want to do. The idea of being really strategic with how visible you are is really having ownership of how you show up. You can't have ownership over how people receive you, but you can have ownership over feeling like you're really being authentic and true to yourself and showing up how it is you want to show up. And I think that when we focus too much on needing to put ourselves out there for the sole sake of the right person seeing us and then magically saving us and handing us exactly what we want, I think that we're kind of missing the point a little bit. I think that the point of really showing up and of really shining from the inside out and truly being seen is being really firmly rooted in who we are and what we have to offer and in where we want to go. And yes, we are radiating so that the people that that attracts can be attracted to us in the right times and in the right spaces. And of course, in community with other people. That is how we tend to move forward. That is how we tend to have different opportunities and reach new levels. Whether that is in community with peers, whether that is in community with people who can put us on to something, or people who we work with, who can make decisions over whether we're promoted or whatever that looks like. But it's really important that you make sure you know that you hold the power. The power doesn't come from who is seeing you. The power comes from you being willing to let people see your magic. And that is a very different feeling, and that is a very different energy. But when you have that kind of energy, that is what creating your own luck is all about. That is when you're able to stay on a path that is really authentic and aligned for you. And it also means that when that path inevitably changes, like what we talked about when it came to the post peak pivot, because every IT girl has to evolve. Every peak has a ceiling. It doesn't mean that that's a call to shrink, but it means that it's a call to expand in a different direction. It also means that that feeling of fulfillment truly has to come from within you. Because where we tend to get tripped up is if we're doing a little too much, too much Tinkerbell, a little too much doing it for the applause solely. And there is not a single person on this earth who gets applause all of the time. There's not anything that you can do to only receive applause in every single season. It is just simply not the reality that we live in as human beings. And so really understanding that you can always blossom, you can always shine, you can always grow, you can always expand. But sometimes that means expanding in new and different ways and having an open mind for that is incredibly important. So again, remember, what you want isn't necessarily on the other side of someone else holding the keys and being willing to put you on what you want is on the other side of you being willing to show up authentically and to shine bright enough to let them witness the greatness that you already have. So that is what I have for you today for this month's solo episode of she's so Lucky, kicking off our Visibility series. I have some really incredible episodes coming for you. All month long unpacking this idea of visibility, when it's good to be visible, when we should pause on being visible, maybe there's another word we should use outside of visibility that we can explore this month. We're really going to examine it from all different angles and I feel like it's the perfect way to head into the second half of the year. So if you enjoyed this episode again, please make sure you subscribe to she's so Lucky. Wherever you get your podcast, you can subscribe on YouTube, on Spotify, on Apple, and if you enjoyed this episode, go ahead, drop us a five stars. Leave a happy little lucky comment. Leave a little review. We love a five star moment. We love positive reviews. But you know, like I said in this episode, can't control it. But if it did resonate with you and you do have nice things that you would like to share, I would love to hear it. So thank you so much for tuning in and I will see you next week.

[A]

Thank you for tuning in to this

[B]

week's episode of she's so Lucky. If you're ready to create your own

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luck, hit that subscribe button wherever you

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get your podcasts or on YouTube so

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Notes for resources, links and discount codes. And if you are really feeling lucky, we would appreciate your rating and your review. It really helps us be able to improve the show, to get great guests and to understand what you want to hear more of.

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Thank you for tuning in and I'll

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see you next week.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.