She’s So Lucky - Podcast Summary
Episode: Why Playing Fair Is Overrated — How to Build Your Own Rules
Host: Les Alfred
Guest: Tricia Lee
Date: December 30, 2025

Episode Overview

In this empowering episode, host Les Alfred sits down with Tricia Lee—real estate entrepreneur and Netflix “Owning Manhattan” star—to unpack the notion that “playing fair” is overrated. Tricia shares her journey of breaking rules, channeling adversity into motivation, and refusing to be boxed in by anyone else's expectations. This masterclass in self-advocacy and intentional living explores how women can unapologetically embrace their strengths, rewrite the rules, and become “so good they can’t ignore you”—even if it makes others uncomfortable.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Early Influences: Desire for Autonomy & Flexibility

• [03:40] Tricia recalls a childhood spent observing her mother’s structured routine, sparking a longing for a different, more flexible life:
  • “I always loved working...I was always really ambitious. But I did always like the idea of doing it for me.”
  • She saw the drawbacks of inflexibility and wanted to create a life with autonomy and control over her schedule.

2. Channeling Adversity into Fuel

• [06:47]–[10:04]
  • Tricia discusses experiencing bias and lack of recognition in corporate jobs, which fueled her entrepreneurial leap:
    • “As long as I am here, they have a say in how far I can go and what my cap is. And it angered me...that motivated me to just do my own thing.”
  • On using disappointment and anger as fuel:
    • “Anger can be a good thing because I use anger to motivate me...I use anger, honestly, as my lickback.”
    • “If you doubt me, I cannot wait for you to have to recognize and swallow it and be like, oh, I was wrong.”
  • Salient quote:
    • Tricia Lee [10:01]: “When I’m pissed about something or I feel like I’ve been cheated, that’s the best version of Trisha you’ll ever get. She’s unstoppable at that point.”

3. Radical Self-Acceptance & Setting Yourself Free

• [16:13]–[24:29]
  • Embracing her “secret sauce” required letting go of external validation:
    • “You have to just set yourself free…and be okay with how people view you. I know I’m focused, I get it, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.”
  • On the resistance confident women often encounter:
    • “How you respond to a confident woman says a lot about yourself…I gravitate towards people that are okay with me feeling good about me.”
    • “More women need to walk tall with their confidence and allow people to be uncomfortable with it.”
  • Tricia shares a moving story about her partner’s mother, who took 80 years to learn to put herself first, and her responsibility to honor her mother’s sacrifices by living boldly.

4. Redefining Perseverance & Knowing When to Walk Away

• [33:40]–[39:02]
  • Distinguishing between "growth challenges" and "chaotic challenges":
    • “If it’s a chaotic challenge, it can’t grow me. It’s just mess...I’m not about chaotic challenges. You can have that.”
    • “If it’s going to develop me...then I’m okay with that. But I’m not out here to prove anything anymore.”
  • On the old idea of endless “perseverance” as harmful:
    • Shared a business lesson about moving on quickly (“fail fast”) and not getting stuck in sunk costs or outside expectations.

5. Lessons from Entrepreneurship & Career Transitions

• [40:12]–[47:20]
  • Tricia reflects on her first business (nail salons), learning to build community, growing too quickly, and outgrowing old dreams:
    • “If I love something, it’s just never enough hours in the day. And if I am over something, what am I doing here?”
    • “With that business, I learned I could pretty much do whatever I want if I create it and it’s really strong.”
  • Transition to real estate felt natural from her business experience, emphasizing endless curiosity.

6. Representation, Mentorship, and Legacy

• [47:21]–[53:36]
  • On visibility as a powerful form of mentorship, for younger women who see themselves in Tricia:
    • “If I can be that, like, that is...a great life gift.”
    • She encourages young women to excel wherever they are and “be so much value here, that you break out of here.”
  • On bias and resilience:
    • “I just had people that strictly hated me just because I was a Black woman...But you’ve got to show up and do that every day…But it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be.”

7. Integrity & Excellence in Every Role

• [51:25]–[53:37]
  • The importance of bringing your best to every role, regardless of circumstances:
    • “Every job is valuable...Be your own brand ambassador.”
    • “You decide to be great because you’re great...If I’m cooking you dinner tonight, I’m going to be great at that.”

8. The “Not Playing Fair” Mindset

• [54:07]–[56:26]
  • Owning excellence so thoroughly that it seems “unfair” to others:
    • Tricia Lee [54:14]: “You should do so well...that people just automatically think you’re fudgeing. Cheating. She got to be cheating. What’s her advantage? Like, who does she know?”
    • The “not playing fair” hashtag is about being so good “they have to think you’re cheating”—another tool of self-affirmation and motivation.
    • “It’s not just a cake. It’s a cake that I baked. And it’s not fair. It’s so damn good.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Using anger as motivation:
  • “[Anger] is my lickback. I’m just like, okay, you know what? Conversation is done. I’ll show you better than I can ever tell you.” (Tricia Lee, [07:09])
• On confidence as power—and discomfort:
  • “How you respond to a confident woman says a lot about yourself...I do pay attention to that because what does it say about you that when a woman like myself that’s hardworking, accomplished, straightforward, and very dynamic...what does it say about someone when they’re uncomfortable in that when faced with that person?” (Tricia Lee, [19:25])
• Living to honor previous generations:
  • “The way I exist in the world is just out of respect for all the sacrifices that [my mother] made.” (Tricia Lee, [27:44])
• Growth vs. chaos in challenges:
  • “If it’s a chaotic challenge, it can’t grow me. It’s just mess...But if it’s going to develop me...then I’m okay with that.” (Tricia Lee, [33:56])
• Redefine success and repetition:
  • “You don’t decide to be great when you have your own business. You decide to be great because you’re great, you know?” (Tricia Lee, [51:48])
• On "not playing fair":
  • “You should do so well...that people just automatically think you’re cheating.” (Tricia Lee, [54:14])
  • “At best, you can get used. At best.” (Tricia Lee, [39:14], on being in unsupportive environments)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:40] — Tricia’s early ambitions & desire for flexibility
• [06:47] — Experiences with bias in corporate settings; anger as motivation
• [10:01] — On becoming unstoppable when facing adversity
• [16:13] — Radical self-acceptance and freedom as a woman
• [23:40] — Generational shifts in self-care and prioritizing oneself
• [33:40] — Growth challenges vs. chaotic challenges and when to quit
• [39:02] — “Not out here to prove anything anymore”
• [40:12] — Lessons from entrepreneurship and transitioning to real estate
• [47:21] — The mentorship ripple effect and serving as a visible example
• [51:25] — Building your personal brand in all roles
• [54:07] — The “not playing fair” philosophy

Final Thoughts & Where to Find Tricia

• “You decide to be great because you’re great.”
• “T. Lee don’t play fair” is a call to surpass expectations and boldly own your lane.
• Be so excellent that your work speaks for itself, and don’t be afraid to disrupt expectations.

Find Tricia Lee at trishalee.com, on socials as @lovetrishalee, and in your local Sephora.

This episode is a motivational guide for women to recognize their worth, build their own rules, and create “unfair” success—on their terms. Listeners are encouraged to walk tall, put themselves first, and leave a trail for others to follow.