What do we really mean when we tell young people to "be yourself"?

In this episode, Tricia Friedman speaks with Meredith Walker, co-founder of Smart Girls with Amy Poehler and author of Be Yourself and Other Bad Advice. Together, they question one of the most common phrases young people hear from adults: "be yourself." It sounds kind. It sounds simple. But for many young people, especially those still figuring out who they are, the advice can feel vague, confusing, or even impossible.

Meredith invites us to slow down and ask better questions. What does it mean to become yourself? How do young people sort through the noise of expectation, comparison, performance, and pressure? And how can adults offer support that feels more useful than a slogan?

The conversation also explores one of Meredith's favorite mottos: "get your hair wet." It is an invitation to join in, to stop waiting until everything looks perfect, and to enter the messy, joyful, human parts of life. For educators, caregivers, and anyone who works alongside young people, this episode is a reminder that becoming yourself is not a polished final product. It is a practice.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

How Meredith Walker thinks about the phrase "be yourself"

Why some well-meaning advice can leave young people without enough guidance

What adults can do instead of offering vague encouragement

How Smart Girls has helped shape conversations about curiosity, courage, and identity

Why "getting your hair wet" is a powerful metaphor for participation, joy, and self-discovery

How young people can begin defining identity on their own terms