ADRIFT ON A WINDLESS JULY SEA (SEND HELP)

Summary

Shutdown Fullcast: "ADRIFT ON A WINDLESS JULY SEA (SEND HELP)"

Date: July 29, 2026
Hosts: Spencer Hall, Jason Kirk, Holly Anderson, Michael Serber, Ryan Nanni
Podcast Description: Supposedly the world’s only college football podcast, Fullcast shifts to weirder topics when possible—but sometimes nothing’s weirder than college football itself.

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Episode Overview

This episode is an uproarious, meandering odyssey through the offseason doldrums, highlighted by a Sadistic College Football Trivia Game masterminded by Ryan, followed by digressions into basketball free agency, cursed sports franchises, marketing stunts, the problems plaguing UNC football, and the unfiltered Instagram habits of hapless administrators. The cast's signature blend of roast, riff, and football esoterica is on display throughout, alongside their usual fondness for tangents.

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Main Segments

1. The Sadistic College Football “Ladder” Game

[00:08–36:41]

• Premise:
  Each host is assigned a current/past college football coach (via an email draft: Saban, Swinney, Ferentz, Campbell). The game is a “race” of five open-ended sequential trivia questions for each, relating to their coach and the “chain of defeat”—for each, “Who’s the last team/coach/quarterback to beat X?”, then “Who’s the last team/coach/quarterback to beat that coach/quarterback?”, and so on.
• Rules:
  • One lifeline each: ask social media ("Ask Blue Sky") and request a multiple-choice question (once each).
  • Must answer questions sequentially; if you miss, your chain freezes until next turn.
  • Winner is first to the end; places declared for silver/bronze.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “Ryan has a game, and I'm scared.” – Spencer Hall (00:12)
  • “The goal of this game is very simple. This is a race…In theory, this game could be over very quickly, but once you miss, you have to wait for everybody's turn…” – Ryan (01:09)
  • “You each have two tools at your disposal as we go. You may one time ask Blue Sky…For one time, you may request that I give you multiple choice…” – Ryan (02:39)

Key Moments:

• Early Frustration:
  Immediate stumbles—the hosts strain to recall basic but recent results, and face existential crises about time, football chronology, and their own memory.
  • “Oh, this is so annoying. What's his fucking name? I know what fucking high school he went to.” – Holly, in existential torment (06:48)
  • “This is like Taskmaster because I want to kill you.” – Holly to Ryan (09:15)
• Spencer's Gauntlet:
  Spencer, with the “hardest path,” powers through (with a multiple-choice lifeline) to victory.
  • “Spencer Hall, you have won the race with the hardest possible…” – Ryan (12:37)
  • “No one wins this game.” – Spencer (11:38)
• Others Flounder in the Timeline:
  Jason and Serber, switching between optimism and defeat, struggle with obscure connections; Holly’s journey is derailed by confusion about seasons, quarterbacks, and chronology.
  • “I want to die. This is awful.” – Holly (09:04)
  • “We are also in various stages of decrepitude.” – Jason, on their ring-chasing similarities with the Sixers (39:34)
• Final Triumph:
  Completion is achieved with collective effort, aided by clues and audience-like support from the other hosts.

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2. LeBron James & NBA Team Curses

[37:38–41:30]

• LeBron’s Move:
  The crew discusses the rumor of LeBron James joining the Philadelphia 76ers, musing about sports city rivalries, cursed franchises (Hawks vs. Sixers), and LeBron’s housing/commute choices.
  • “LeBron is the only basketball player in the same way that this is the only college football.” – Ryan (39:25)
  • “The Atlanta Hawks just traded away the first overall draft pick from a couple years ago. And the reaction was, who is that guy?” – Ryan (39:50)

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3. The Marketing Era in Atlanta (Mooninites, Mascots, and Bomb Scares)

[41:32–46:49]

• Adult Swim/Marketing Stunts:
  Reminiscing about the infamous "Mooninite" Boston bomb scare caused by Aqua Teen Hunger Force guerrilla marketing.
  • “This did lead, of course, to the shutdown of the Boston metro system when Aqua Teen Hunger Force left illuminated signs that people mistook for explosives.” – Spencer (40:55)
• Mascots & Urban Legends:
  The absurdity of Atlanta marketing: the Hawks mascot “Harry the Hawk” joyriding through town, unrecognized by all.
  • “That’s the Hawks mascot. And they were like, what?” – Spencer (45:01)
  • “If you want my car and you're dressed up like Harry the Hawk, just take it… I'm doing this for the story, brother.” – Spencer (45:45, 46:49)

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4. Digression into Monster Energy Sponsorship

[49:17–52:15]

• Branding the Fullcast:
  Jokes about Monster Energy buying up naming rights for the podcast, and Michael Serber auctioning off naming rights to himself for a far lower sum.
  • “For a mere fee of like $25,000, I will change my name to Monster Energy Michael Ray Serber.” – Serber (49:56)
  • “Notre Dame is Monster Energy independent.” – Jason (49:53)

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5. College Football (UNC) Administrator Drama: The Michael Lombardi Debacle

[54:32–78:13]

• UNC’s Woes:
  Detailed, scathing (and hilarious) riff on the apparent HR/NIL investigation and administrative incompetence of Michael Lombardi, UNC's massively overpaid general manager.
  • Critiques of his administrative abilities, references to his social media activities, and possible causes for his leave.
  • “He is the highest paid general manager in college football at one point, I believe. 1.5 million, like million dollars.” – Spencer (61:20)
  • “Bruce Feldman said Lombardi should have been getting his salary with a ski mask on.” – Jason (60:26)
• Lombardi’s Social Media:
  The group details his bizarre, AI-riddled, meme-heavy Instagram, taking aim at elderly administrators’ lack of digital literacy.
  • “If you were born before, say, 1990, you have no antibodies to the Internet. It can creep into your brain, it can lay eggs, and then soon you will be less a person and more a shell of your former self, regurgitating hot-brained fantasies disconnected from all reality.” – Spencer (63:47)
• Lombardi as Symbol:
  The hosts use Lombardi’s failings as a representation for broader issues in college football, NIL, and athletic department hiring.
  • “Genuinely average person contributing and/or listening to the show would have done better.” – Jason (62:01)
  • “I think he should probably be committed to an institution or put into it.” – Spencer (70:36)
• Recruiting Implications:
  Holly and others muse on what teens, fans, and opponents think of the chaos and whether it creates weird recruiting advantages.
  • “You know that teacher who was two years shy of retirement and didn't give a fuck? That's the whole program.” – Spencer (78:58)
• Philosophical Closer:
  By the end, the cast lampoons the digital world, pondering "boomer-Instagram" and the hazards of letting elderly decision-makers roam wild online.

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6. The UNC Schedule Game (in Italian Noises!)

[81:41–84:18]

• A classic Fullcast bit: dramatic reading of UNC’s 2026 football schedule, with each opponent prompted in traditional Italian stock exclamations.
  • "Gabagool in Dublin!" (82:05)
  • "Sleepy time. Syracuse at home or away?" — bit devolves from Italian impressions into pure gibberish as season fatigue sets in.

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7. Business, Plugs, and Outro

[84:26–91:13]

• Podcast/Patreon News:
  • After Dark Patreon will return; dozens of episodes live already.
• Merchandise (Protect Trans Kids):
  • Through Sep 30, all proceeds from PTKU shirts go to Alianza Trans Latinx in Orange County, CA.
• Newsletter Plugs:
  • Channel 6 (Holly & Spencer) returning with "Comfortable Lies" soon
  • Jason's “Until Saturday” newsletter
• Band/Side Projects:
  • Serber: Killer Ants show, CD giveaway, Phantom Island, Hand in the Dirt.

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Most Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "No one wins this game." – Spencer Hall, after conquering the trivia gauntlet (11:38)
• “Do you know how many Mooninites neons you could blow up with $1.5 million?” – Ryan (61:36)
• “This is like standing at the foot of a 40-foot wall at the end of a 400 mile journey and being like, we're almost there.” – Holly, on the absurdity of Fullcast trivia (31:09)
• “If you were born before 1990, you have no antibodies to the Internet.” – Spencer Hall (63:47)
• "Notre Dame is Monster Energy independent." – Jason (49:53)
• “Your dad told you in a court-monitored custody visit.” – Holly, on learning about Magic City (47:10)

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Flow and Tone

• Language & Tone: Sarcastic, absurdist, rapid-fire banter loaded with inside jokes, self-deprecating humor, relentless bits, and loving contempt for both college football and themselves.
• Structure: Loosely structured, the show uses the trivia game as a launching pad for increasingly wild detours, returning intermittently to football topics before the next tangent.
• Listeners: Even those unfamiliar with the specifics of recent college football will find laughs in the cast’s despair, as well as their wild anecdotes about sports culture and internet absurdity.

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Timestamps by Topic

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |--------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:08–36:41 | College Football Trivia “Ladder” Game | | 37:38–41:30 | LeBron James and NBA Franchise Curses | | 41:32–46:49 | Marketing Stunts (Mooninite Incident, Mascots) | | 49:17–52:15 | Monster Energy Naming Rights Bit | | 54:32–78:13 | UNC Drama: Michael Lombardi, Social Media, Administrative Chaos | | 81:41–84:18 | UNC Schedule Game (in Italian) | | 84:26–91:13 | Business/Outro: Newsletters, Merch, Band Plugs, Charity Initiatives |

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In Summary

“ADRIFT ON A WINDLESS JULY SEA (SEND HELP)” is Shutdown Fullcast at its most feverishly offbeat: a trivia game that becomes a philosophical exercise in existential memory loss, a roast of college football’s silliest characters and structures, and a joyous affirmation of absurdity as the off-season's greatest balm. For anyone craving an unvarnished, riotous glimpse into college football fandom, or in need of proof that the weirdest topics are, in fact, not always about football, it’s a must-listen.

Transcript

[Michael Serber]

Ryan's laugh was so evil because that was so good.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan]

Speaking of evil laughs. Who is ready to play our game?

[Spencer Hall]

Ryan has a game, and I'm scared.

[Ryan]

No, it's gonna be fun.

[Jason Kirk]

Why are you scared? I love games.

[Ryan]

Let's do it. It's gonna be fun. All right, I'm gonna explain the game very quickly for you. All the participants who don't really know what we're playing and the audience. It's very simple. Each of you, Serber, Holly, Jason, and Spencer, you'll each be given five questions. In some ways, you're all getting the same questions, but the particulars of the questions vary based on your chosen paths. What path am I talking about? Well, I emailed all of you yesterday and said, hey, I need you to pick from the following list of four coaches. Nick Saban, Davo Swinney, Kirk Ference and Matt Campbell. And I set this up to incentivize responsiveness to email. So the first person to pick in this case, Holly, got to pick from the whole list. The last person, Jason. No shade at all. Got whoever was left. In this case, Jason got Kirk ferencing. And I'm happy to report everybody responded. So even Spencer succeeded at this part of the game. And I want to Big thumbs up to you, buddy. Big thumbs up. Because I was. I was waiting to see if it would happen. The goal of this game is very simple. This is a race. The race is won by whoever is the first person that answers all five of their questions correctly. And you get. You answer until you miss. So in theory, this game could be over very quickly, but once you miss, you have to wait for the everybody's turn to come around again until you get to go. Okay, I have determined, like Taskmaster. It is a little Taskmaster. It is a little game changer. It is little. Just I have a broken brain, and you all have to deal with it. I have determined based on my own subjective assessment who got the easiest and hardest paths. Holly, I think you got the easiest path. Without meaning to, I think you got the second easiest path. Jason, I think you got the second hardest path. And Spencer, I think you got the hardest path of all. Now, that does mean, Spencer, you're going to get to go first. That seems only fair. Jason will go second. Cerber will go third. Holly, you're going to go last. But again, it's simply because you have the what I think is the easiest path to win this game. You each have two tools at your disposal as we go.

[Jason Kirk]

Okay?

[Ryan]

You may one time Ask Blue Sky. You can just. Oh no, you can ask Blue sky

[Holly Anderson]

for the what do I need with Simpsons gifts?

[Ryan]

You don't have to. I'm just saying that you can.

[Spencer Hall]

I can be like, hey, I have a question about Matt Campbell and I'll get like a picture of a soup can back and I'll be like, I want to fucking kill all of you.

[Ryan]

Okay, you don't have to. You don't have to use it. You don't have to.

[Jason Kirk]

Okay, you can ask Rock.

[Ryan]

Can you ask Rock? You can definitely ask Rock and maybe you'll get Matt Campbell with racist boobs. Who's to say your other option, which you may find more palatable for any. For one time, you may request that I give you multiple choice answers to the question. All of these are open ended where I'm going to ask you a question and you have to supply the answer. But you may one time ask for it to be multiple choice. You could in theory combine these two. I wouldn't personally recommend it, but if you get to the end of the game and you're like, this last one is killing me and I need both help, great, you can do that. Does anybody have any questions before we dive into this?

[Holly Anderson]

So we have, we have the social media lifeline and we have the multiple choice lifeline, correct?

[Ryan]

Yes. And you can use each of those

[Spencer Hall]

one time asking LinkedIn.

[Ryan]

You can, you know what? Yes, you can ask LinkedIn instead of blue sky if you want. It will be a while before you get your response.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Okay. Assuming no further questions. Spencer, you're up first. You chose Matt Campbell.

[Spencer Hall]

I did.

[Ryan]

Spencer, who's the last team to beat Matt Campbell?

[Spencer Hall]

Oh, man.

[Ryan]

I briefly. I'm assuming none of you are going to cheat and look these answers up. Otherwise the game is extremely easy. If you do cheat, there's no way I can know. It's the perfect crime.

[Spencer Hall]

Man, I even forget who Iowa State closed with last year, so I'll just say Kansas State.

[Ryan]

That is incorrect. Jason, you chose Kirk Ferencz. Who's the last team that beat Kirk Ference?

[Jason Kirk]

It wasn't Vanderbilt, that's for sure. Couldn't possibly have been Nebraska, but who did they play before those two?

[Spencer Hall]

Hmm, this is gonna take a while.

[Jason Kirk]

Minnesota.

[Ryan]

Minnesota is incorrect. Cerber, you picked Abo Sweeney. I think you may get this question, but we're gonna see. Who's the last team that beat Dabo Sweeney?

[Michael Serber]

Penn State.

[Ryan]

Penn State is correct. Serber, you're on to question two.

[Michael Serber]

I'm on a roll.

[Ryan]

Who's the Last coach that beat Penn State.

[Michael Serber]

Yeah, I don't know who they play at the end of the season. Probably doesn't matter. The last team that beat Penn State is P.J. fleck.

[Ryan]

That's incorrect. We'll come back to you, though. You've. You've. You've moved one step down the order. Holly.

[Jason Kirk]

So we repeat the same question until we get.

[Ryan]

Until you get it?

[Michael Serber]

Yes.

[Ryan]

That's why it's a RA to see who can get to the end. Holly.

[Holly Anderson]

Horrifying.

[Ryan]

Holly, you pick Nick Saban. Who's the last team that beat Nick Saban?

[Holly Anderson]

Michigan.

[Ryan]

That's correct. Holly, who is the last coach that beat Michigan?

[Holly Anderson]

Sark. Right.

[Ryan]

Sark is correct.

[Holly Anderson]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Holly, who's the last quarterback who beat Steve Sarkeesian?

[Holly Anderson]

The last quarterback to beat Sarkisian. I feel like I'm uniquely poorly suited for this because I have a terrible head for dates. Oh, oh, oh, oh. What's his name? He's from. I can tell you his hometown and his name has just fled. He's from Tiger. What? What's the Georgia quarterback's name? The current one. Why can't I do this? This is embarrassing.

[Jason Kirk]

How.

[Ryan]

I'm going to give you chance.

[Holly Anderson]

I want to say Strom Thurmond. And I know that that's not.

[Spencer Hall]

I mean, that is. Right.

[Ryan]

Five seconds, Holly.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, this is so annoying. What's his fucking name? I know what fucking high school he went to.

[Ryan]

Okay, Holly. I'm sorry. That's incorrect.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, I'm terrible at this.

[Ryan]

We're gonna come back to you, though. You've moved two pegs down the board. You're almost halfway there.

[Holly Anderson]

I'll move your pegs.

[Spencer Hall]

Spencer, you stupid fuck.

[Ryan]

Spencer, who's the last team that.

[Holly Anderson]

Wait, wait. So now I have to sit here and think about who that quarterback.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, no.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And. And also by going. By going three steps down the ladder, you have given your competitors a little preview of the road that lies ahead for them.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, my wheels are spinning.

[Ryan]

Spencer, you're still on step one. Who's the last team that beat Matt Campbell? Remember, you have two lifelines you can use.

[Spencer Hall]

I don't need it this time. Arizona State.

[Ryan]

Arizona State is correct, by the way.

[Spencer Hall]

Ryan, you okay?

[Ryan]

All right. Spencer. So rude. Spencer, who's the last coach that beat Arizona State?

[Spencer Hall]

Is it Brennan?

[Ryan]

That is incorrect. Jason. Who's the last team that beat Kirk Ference?

[Jason Kirk]

So Wisconsin was ass, but they. They had two surprisingly good wins near the end of the season. Let's just say one of those was Iowa.

[Ryan]

That's incorrect, Jason. So sorry, Cerber.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, my God. I'm the dumbest bitch alive.

[Ryan]

Server. Who's the last coach that beat Penn State?

[Michael Serber]

I don't know, but I'm gonna say Kirk Ference.

[Ryan]

That's incorrect, server. I'm so sorry, Holly.

[Holly Anderson]

I'm an idiot.

[Ryan]

Who's the last quarterback who beat Steve Sarkeesian?

[Holly Anderson]

It wasn't even 20. It wasn't even 2020. It was Carson Beck. It was. I'm not even thinking of the right. I'm not even thinking of Gunner Stockton's year.

[Ryan]

Holly. That's incorrect.

[Holly Anderson]

Wait, is it Gunner Stockton?

[Ryan]

We'll come back to you.

[Holly Anderson]

Don't worry. I lost track of what year we're in.

[Ryan]

Spencer, you're still on step two.

[Holly Anderson]

I want to die. This is awful.

[Ryan]

Spencer, who is the last coach?

[Spencer Hall]

I'm still on step two. Most of us are still on step two.

[Ryan]

Ryan, I'm placing you at the audience.

[Holly Anderson]

This is like taskmaster because I want to kill you.

[Ryan]

Spencer, who's the last coach who beat Arizona State?

[Spencer Hall]

Manny Diaz.

[Ryan]

That is correct.

[Michael Serber]

Wow.

[Spencer Hall]

Because it was the sun bowl, right?

[Ryan]

It was the Bull. I don't remember what bowl game was.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. Do you know. Do you know the bowl game, Ryan?

[Ryan]

No.

[Michael Serber]

You know that one, smart guy?

[Ryan]

No. I asked the questions here. Shut up. Spencer, who's the last quarterback to beat Manny Diaz?

[Spencer Hall]

Man, that's going to be contingent on me remembering who they played.

[Ryan]

Lost a lot of games. Your ACC champ again. Again. You have. You. You have three steps left, and you have two lifelines to you to use.

[Spencer Hall]

Oh, my God. No. This is North Texas's own. I just can't remember his name.

[Holly Anderson]

See, it's hard.

[Spencer Hall]

Nah. Remember, it's like kindergarten. Being a kindergarten teacher, you don't remember all the names. You know that was the kid who peed himself.

[Holly Anderson]

At least you probably know what year it is.

[Spencer Hall]

And it's not my guy. It's not my guy. Anthony Colandrea. Because he lost the gig too. No, but you know what I'm gonna do? I'm just gonna get it next time around. When I remember it, that's what I'm gonna end up.

[Ryan]

Do you want to just say anything of Colandrea? Because it's fun to say.

[Spencer Hall]

No, I don't.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Holly Anderson]

You want to say it in Italian accent. Can the rest of us say it?

[Spencer Hall]

Callandre Chandler Morris.

[Ryan]

That is correct. Suck my dick.

[Spencer Hall]

All right, all right.

[Ryan]

Who is the last coach that Chandler Morris beat?

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, no. Oh, I don't like this at all. This is Great. Because you can see the vat of acid that you're lowering us towards while

[Spencer Hall]

it's happening, which is awful.

[Jason Kirk]

Y' all need to cheer up.

[Spencer Hall]

You know what?

[Ryan]

You know what?

[Jason Kirk]

You need to.

[Holly Anderson]

I don't. Carol, ask.

[Spencer Hall]

Ask the question again.

[Ryan]

Who is the last coach that Chandler Morris beat?

[Holly Anderson]

Whose side are you on? Jason?

[Spencer Hall]

They ended up playing. Their bowl game was shit.

[Ryan]

I'm gonna put you on the clock here. You got 15 seconds.

[Spencer Hall]

No, I don't. It's Missouri, so it's. It's dipshit.

[Holly Anderson]

That is so true.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

So true.

[Ryan]

Pay five seconds, please.

[Spencer Hall]

It's Eli Drinkwoods.

[Ryan]

That's correct. All right, Spencer, you can win the game right here, right now.

[Spencer Hall]

No one wins this game.

[Michael Serber]

Who.

[Ryan]

What's the last team Eli Drinkwitz beat?

[Spencer Hall]

No, I'll get it next time. I'll get it next time. I don't know.

[Ryan]

Okay, okay.

[Michael Serber]

I'm sorry.

[Spencer Hall]

I'm sorry.

[Michael Serber]

This is.

[Spencer Hall]

Take me down to my last. Take me down to my multiple choice. I'll take that right now.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Spencer Hall]

End this suffering.

[Ryan]

All right, Spencer, here are your choices.

[Holly Anderson]

Still win if he uses multiple choice.

[Ryan]

Yeah, he can. He can win with that.

[Holly Anderson]

I just feel. It feels not. It feels dishonorable.

[Spencer Hall]

That's fine. I'm fine with dishonorable.

[Michael Serber]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Spencer, the last team Eli Drinkwoods beat was which of the following three teams? Three which. It's multiple choice. What did you think?

[Jason Kirk]

That three is very few for multiple choice.

[Ryan]

Christ.

[Spencer Hall]

Down to two.

[Ryan]

Arkansas.

[Michael Serber]

Back in. Clearly.

[Ryan]

Arkansas, Mississippi State or Vanderbilt.

[Spencer Hall]

The last team to beat him.

[Ryan]

No, the last team Eli Drinkwitz beat.

[Spencer Hall]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Was it Arkansas, Mississippi State or Vanderbilt?

[Spencer Hall]

Man, Arkansas is always a good bet. Arkansas.

[Ryan]

Spencer hall, you have won the race with the hardest possible.

[Holly Anderson]

Do the rest of us have to finish?

[Ryan]

You don't have to. You can play for second if you want. Or we could just be done right here and start the show.

[Holly Anderson]

We should keep.

[Jason Kirk]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna play on my own time at home.

[Ryan]

Okay. Okay. Okay. Jason, we're gonna have a quick race for a second here. Jason, who's the last team that beat Kirk Ference?

[Jason Kirk]

I feel like they played Oregon, but that was not that late in the season. I don't recall an Ohio State. Indiana was earlier in the season. But what is the question again?

[Ryan]

Who is the last team. The most recent team to beat Kirk

[Jason Kirk]

Ferris beat Kirk France. The most recent 2026 preview was before Nebraska. It would have. Unless Nebraska managed to pull it out. And I somehow forgot about that. I don't think that Happened though. That couldn't have happened.

[Spencer Hall]

No.

[Ryan]

I'm just gonna tell you now. It didn't happen. I'm gonna help you.

[Jason Kirk]

I'm gonna give you a little. How could it have happened?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

Here's the problem here. I think the problem. What the.

[Holly Anderson]

Is that.

[Jason Kirk]

I think the problem is that I have a Big Ten team and there are 526 Big Ten teams.

[Ryan]

There are a lot of them. Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

To guess from among. So let's see. Alphabetical. Is Illinois the first Alphabetically?

[Ryan]

I think that actually is correct.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. Feels correct.

[Jason Kirk]

We're starting there.

[Ryan]

No, that's incorrect.

[Holly Anderson]

Sorry.

[Jason Kirk]

I'll work my way down.

[Ryan]

Server, who's the last coach to beat Penn State?

[Michael Serber]

I will not use a lifeline. Greg Shiano.

[Ryan]

That is incorrect.

[Michael Serber]

I don't care. I stick by my decision to not use a lifeline.

[Spencer Hall]

I still think it was Greg Cian,

[Jason Kirk]

like Tennessee server is sticking with Greg Shiano.

[Ryan]

Holly, who's. Who's the last quarterback to beat Steve Sarkeesian?

[Holly Anderson]

I'd like to take you a little bit through my process.

[Ryan]

Sure. Please do.

[Holly Anderson]

I got stuck in a ditch trying to remember Gunner Stockton's name. Which is the correct answer, right?

[Ryan]

Correct. Yes. I'll go ahead and let you know.

[Holly Anderson]

I could remember his fucking high school and couldn't remember his name. So over the course of the next round, I convinced myself that 2026 was this football season and 2025 was last football season, which would mean Carson Beck was quarterbacking Georgia last year because the 2026 season already happened. Sure. So that's why I went. That's why I went to. Also just the butthole eyes. Discourse is so fresh. It stays so fresh here as the day it was born. Also, another funny thing is that even knowing what happens next, I should have been thinking ahead once I figured that out, to remember who beat Gunner Stockton. And I have not done that. Okay, just to. Just to be clear, I have not thought ahead.

[Ryan]

That's okay, because you don't. You don't have to tell me who the last person to coach to beat Gunner Stockton is. You have to tell me who the last coach Gunner Stockton beat was.

[Holly Anderson]

The last coach Gunner Stockton beat. Wait.

[Ryan]

Huh? The most recent. Who is the coach over whom Gunner Stockton most recently has a victory?

[Holly Anderson]

So not the playoffs. You've led us all in circles. It's Saban. No, it's Kaylin DeBoer.

[Ryan]

All right, I'll. I'll allow. I don't know what time it is. I'm not gonna allow it. You said Nick Saban. That's incorrect. Yeah, sorry, sorry, Holly, you're still stuck on that.

[Michael Serber]

Is this Hollywood School Squares run or is there, or are there rules that.

[Ryan]

That is the answer she gave.

[Holly Anderson]

No, he should not give it to me.

[Ryan]

No, I'm not going to. I'm not going to. Jason, we're back to you. Who's the last. Who's the last team to beat Kirk Ferris?

[Jason Kirk]

Next would be Indiana, but that obviously didn't happen after that. Next would be Iowa, though they have defeated themselves many times, that did not take place at that time. Next, I think just going off of memory here is Maryland. That seems really far fetched. I feel like I'd remember if that happened.

[Ryan]

It would require. It would require Iowa's last loss to be in September, which is the biggest problem.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah, yeah. As far as the alphabeticals after that I think it's Nebraska, but we've established they cannot lose to Nebraska. Minnesota would be in there, but I've also whiffed on them as well.

[Ryan]

We've skipped over both Michigan's.

[Jason Kirk]

Oh, okay. Could have been a Michigan. Could have been a Michigan.

[Ryan]

That's incorrect. I'm sorry. Server, who's the last coach to beat Penn State?

[Michael Serber]

In case you haven't figured out by now, I don't know anything about Penn State's season last year after they fired Jason.

[Ryan]

Do you want to use your lifelines?

[Michael Serber]

Fuck no.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Michael Serber]

I have honor.

[Jason Kirk]

Got to save them.

[Michael Serber]

I'm going to guess Ryan Day.

[Ryan]

That's incorrect, sir.

[Michael Serber]

Okay, Holly, I don't trust the rest of you will get there, so there's no way Holly gets this.

[Ryan]

Holly, who's you. Who's the last coach Gunner Stockton beat?

[Holly Anderson]

It was Kaylin DeBoer.

[Ryan]

That's correct.

[Holly Anderson]

I would like to point out to everybody that after I went backwards in time, I then went forwards in time. At no point realizing I'm. I'm unmoored. You just gotta continue.

[Michael Serber]

You got like an extra 50, 50 lifeline.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Michael Serber]

Without even meaning to.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, but I didn't use it.

[Ryan]

You didn't.

[Holly Anderson]

I'm a drift.

[Ryan]

All right, Holly, you can still win the silver medal here. Who's the last team that Kaylin DeBoer beat?

[Holly Anderson]

Okay, so I have to do this biblically because I think if, I think if I can trace this through like begats. Yeah, I'll be okay. Can you, can we go through all my answers so far so that I know what year it is right now?

[Michael Serber]

All right.

[Holly Anderson]

Not what year we're talking about.

[Ryan]

I'll walk you through It. First you correctly answered that the last team to beat Nick Saban was Michigan. Then you said that the last coach to beat Michigan was Steve Sarkeesian.

[Holly Anderson]

Also in 2025. We haven't left 2025.

[Ryan]

That was a bowl. That was last year a bowl game since Texas did not make the College Football Playoff, much to their chagrin. Then you correctly answered that the last quarterback to beat Steve Sarkeesian was Gunner Stockton.

[Holly Anderson]

So I think we have the pro. I think I see the problem here, Ryan, which is that I know what all the answers to these questions are. I just don't know what year it is.

[Ryan]

Gotcha. The last coach Gunner Stockton beat was in fact Kalyn DeBoer. And now I need to know who is the last team that Kaylin DeBoer

[Holly Anderson]

has a victory over Alabama's last victory, which would be Oklahoma.

[Ryan]

That is correct. Holly, you have taken second place. Serber. And Jason, because I take no solace in this, I'm going to make you play for third now. I don't care how long it takes.

[Michael Serber]

Jason will never surrender.

[Holly Anderson]

Who is the last team to happy that you're leaving?

[Jason Kirk]

Maybe.

[Ryan]

Who's the last team to beat Kirk Ferencing? Jason, I'm gonna help you along a little bit here. I don't think you should go alphabetically.

[Jason Kirk]

Okay, let's start from the bottom.

[Michael Serber]

What did I do?

[Ryan]

I will offer you help on the next round as well.

[Michael Serber]

Remains.

[Jason Kirk]

It's not Wisconsin, therefore it might. Oh, it is usc.

[Ryan]

That's correct. Jason, who is the last coach to beat usc?

[Jason Kirk]

Fucking everybody, man. Let's see.

[Spencer Hall]

That's correct.

[Jason Kirk]

They're in their bowl game. They face I fuck. Were they in the Alamo Bowl? Perhaps. I bet they were. Which would mean if that were the case, let's go with. This is amazing. I'm sure, I'm sure. I watch this game. I feel like TCU would probably be usc. I don't think that happened.

[Ryan]

Is your answer to the last coach to beat usc?

[Jason Kirk]

Coach tcu. Yep.

[Ryan]

Coach tcu.

[Jason Kirk]

Yep.

[Ryan]

All right. I'm sorry, that's incorrect. All right, server, we are still on the last coach to beat Penn State. Here is your hint. This game, specifically the game winning play featured a call from the play by play announcer that is etched in full cast and audio memory. Voice cracking memory.

[Michael Serber]

I know, I'm trying to think of the player's name.

[Ryan]

No, you don't need to know the player. You just need to know the coach.

[Michael Serber]

Well, if I know the player, then I'm. I think of the coach.

[Ryan]

I See,

[Michael Serber]

It's not. I don't know, but I'm just. I'm still just guessing. Brett B.

[Ryan]

That's incorrect. All right, Jason, who's the last coach to beat usc?

[Holly Anderson]

Now, I'm having fun, having established that

[Ryan]

Coach TCU is not the correct answer.

[Spencer Hall]

Coach tcu.

[Jason Kirk]

Coach tcu. It's like. It's like a video game thing.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

They didn't likeness, so, yeah, Sonny Dykes. Of course.

[Ryan]

That's correct. All right, Jason, Hugh Spikes. Who's the last quarterback to beat Sonny Dykes?

[Jason Kirk]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Wow.

[Jason Kirk]

They didn't lose a ton of games last year. It would have been one of those millions of Big 12 teams. Were they in the Big 12 title game? Could have been.

[Holly Anderson]

I like that we're finishing in reverse order of intelligence.

[Jason Kirk]

Like, I thought everyone is, like, within a game in the stand.

[Ryan]

Sure, yeah, I get it. Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

So Texas Tech guy. Is that his name?

[Ryan]

That is incorrect. I have to tell you, server, last coach to beat Penn State, who was it? Kurt. That is correct.

[Michael Serber]

Okay.

[Jason Kirk]

All right.

[Michael Serber]

You know what the real problem is? I couldn't think of Kurt Signetti's name.

[Ryan]

It's not Tom Allen. I did this game. I chose the end of July on purpose for this game and not like February when this information would have been fresh. All right.

[Michael Serber]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Serber, who is the last quarterback to beat Kurt Signetti? Ooh,

[Michael Serber]

I had perfect season.

[Ryan]

That's correct. But there still is a last quarterback to be.

[Spencer Hall]

You gotta go back, dog.

[Jason Kirk]

Indiana over the falls.

[Michael Serber]

That was the quarter. That was the quarterback of Penn State, right?

[Ryan]

No.

[Holly Anderson]

Somebody else has to count years.

[Michael Serber]

I don't know. I can't. I can't remember. Did they lose to.

[Ryan]

I'm trying to think of who they

[Michael Serber]

lost to in the playoffs. Do they lose to Notre Dame in the playoff?

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah. See, y' all are getting playoff teams. I'm having to remember TC's bowl.

[Holly Anderson]

Remembering playoff teams is harder.

[Ryan]

Jason, I did say you had the second hardest back.

[Jason Kirk]

All right. Remembering the playoff is easier than the app 100.

[Holly Anderson]

Not for me.

[Michael Serber]

They didn't play Penn State together hosted a playoff game and lost. I'm thinking that year. No, wait.

[Holly Anderson]

Didn't he already say the right answer accidentally?

[Ryan]

Did server say the right answer to the last quarterback to beat Kurt?

[Michael Serber]

That's not the quarterback.

[Holly Anderson]

Probably wrong. Never mind.

[Michael Serber]

I don't. I'm trying. I think they lost to Notre Dame.

[Jason Kirk]

Did that team have a quarterback?

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Michael Serber]

I don't.

[Jason Kirk]

I'm going to give you a clue. Often he didn't play like a quarterback. So you're kind of halfway.

[Michael Serber]

It's. Nah, I don't know the years, though. Holly, you are so correct about the year thing, because I want to say Sam Hartman.

[Holly Anderson]

I mean, we all want to say Sam Hartman every chance we get.

[Ryan]

Is that your answer, Server?

[Michael Serber]

I mean, I will. I'm just going to say that. But that's not it. He's not. That he wasn't the quarterback. I don't know that I'm going to be able to remember.

[Jason Kirk]

Insulted by the young man. To say he's less handsome than Sam Hartman.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, but it also doesn't narrow anything down.

[Ryan]

Is your answer not Sam Hartman?

[Michael Serber]

It's not. Sam Hartman is my answer, but Sam has to be my answer.

[Ryan]

This is.

[Holly Anderson]

That's.

[Ryan]

That's incorrect.

[Michael Serber]

I'm sorry.

[Ryan]

It is right, but it's not correct. Jason, who's the last quarterback to beat Sonny Dykes?

[Jason Kirk]

Give me multiple choice.

[Ryan]

Okay, Jason, pick from the following three quarterbacks and tell me which of them was the last to beat Sonny Dykes. Rocco Becht, Bear Bachmeyer, or Brendan Sorsby?

[Jason Kirk]

That would be hilarious if it was Sourceby. I'm gonna go for the comedy. I'm gonna say Sourceby.

[Ryan]

That's incorrect.

[Holly Anderson]

Spiritually, that should be true.

[Spencer Hall]

Still funny, though.

[Ryan]

Server, who's the last quarter. Who's the last quarterback to beat Kurt Signetti?

[Michael Serber]

Someone's asking me to take a lifeline right now.

[Spencer Hall]

So this will be over.

[Ryan]

No,

[Michael Serber]

not. Not C.J. carr.

[Ryan]

He doesn't need your head down.

[Spencer Hall]

I respect it.

[Jason Kirk]

So you've bracketed the Notre Dame quarterback

[Spencer Hall]

before and after, and that's the show, folks.

[Michael Serber]

The transfer portal makes this impossible. And I.

[Ryan]

Yes, I will tell you that you are correct.

[Jason Kirk]

He came from near you, But not as near as Hartman.

[Michael Serber]

Yeah, not Drake May. He's been in the NFL for many years.

[Spencer Hall]

I'm gonna give. Can I give him a clue, Ryan?

[Ryan]

Yeah, sure.

[Spencer Hall]

Two first names.

[Ryan]

That's only so helpful.

[Spencer Hall]

I would say two first names. Lacrosse vibes.

[Holly Anderson]

Two first names, but not really.

[Michael Serber]

I'm still thinking. Now I'm thinking Sam Hartman even harder.

[Ryan]

See, I think Server. I think Server. Can't remember this name is the.

[Michael Serber]

I can't remember this.

[Ryan]

I think Server. I think Server should take multiple choice, but won't take multiple choice.

[Michael Serber]

Yeah, I. But just give me the multiple choice, okay? And I surrender. Everything I said before was bullshit.

[Ryan]

I stillber. The last quarterback to beat Kurt Signetti was one of the following. Will Howard, C.J. carr or Riley Leonard.

[Michael Serber]

Riley Leonard.

[Ryan]

It's Riley Leonard. That's correct. All Right.

[Jason Kirk]

Start work right after losing to Will Howard.

[Ryan]

Who's the last coach Riley Leonard beat?

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, no.

[Ryan]

Keep yourself here. I'm going to tell you this. Keep yourself in, keep yourself in time and space.

[Michael Serber]

The last coach Riley Leonard beat.

[Ryan]

Yes. The last coach that Riley Leonard beat. I will tell you, this is not some weird NFL. It's not like, oh, in the preseason. No, there's no NFL trick here. It's in college.

[Jason Kirk]

Wasn't real.

[Michael Serber]

I can't remember if they won another playoff game or not. So I'm just saying.

[Spencer Hall]

Kurt Signetti, I thought you were gonna

[Holly Anderson]

try and make him remember a Colt season.

[Ryan]

That is incorrect. It is not.

[Michael Serber]

Okay, so they want a playoff game when we.

[Ryan]

You will.

[Michael Serber]

I think I know maybe who it is. Maybe.

[Ryan]

All right.

[Michael Serber]

I, I, I have a better chance of this. I think.

[Jason Kirk]

Jason Bear Bachmeyer.

[Ryan]

That's correct. All right, Jason, who's the last coach that Bear Bachmire beat?

[Jason Kirk]

Okay. Brent Key.

[Ryan]

That is correct. All right, Jason, to take third place and end this game for all of us.

[Jason Kirk]

No, we have to keep going.

[Ryan]

What is the, what is the last team. What is the last team that Brent Key beat?

[Jason Kirk]

Last team Brent Ki beat? Not byu, not Georgia. Who the knows what goes on in

[Holly Anderson]

the middle of the accident?

[Jason Kirk]

I'm not. Remember they had a bunch of big games near the end. I, I feel lost.

[Spencer Hall]

Most of them.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah. Yeah. Because they're flying high and it was like, oh, here comes all the challenges.

[Ryan]

So Georgia Tech was eight. No.

[Spencer Hall]

At one point.

[Ryan]

Last.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah, yeah. Because it was like. Yeah, it was.

[Ryan]

They did not finish 12, just to be clear.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah, I don't think it was Miami because I remember paying close attention to who they and Notre Dame were playing. Could be wrong, but I don't think it was Miami. Let's just go for the biggest of all.

[Michael Serber]

Pit.

[Jason Kirk]

I know they played pit.

[Ryan]

That's incorrect. They actually lost. Like, Pitt was the thing that broke their back. Yeah, well, of course, last year, unfortunately. All right, server, who's the last coach Riley Leonard beat?

[Michael Serber]

I don't remember who all was in the playoff, but I'm guessing Mario Cristobal.

[Ryan]

That is incorrect.

[Michael Serber]

Okay. I don't know.

[Ryan]

He did not make the playoff.

[Jason Kirk]

Server, we have to talk about this guy.

[Ryan]

Okay, on this episode, Jason, back to you.

[Michael Serber]

Doesn't narrow it down at all.

[Ryan]

What's the last name? The last team that Brent Key.

[Jason Kirk]

So again, the ACC has 477 teams, an odd number of them. They played Clemson earlier in the year. Smu.

[Ryan]

Smu is incorrect. Server, who's the last coach riley leonard beat.

[Michael Serber]

Steve.

[Jason Kirk]

We've talked about your team playing him.

[Michael Serber]

Oh, we've talked about my team playing him.

[Jason Kirk]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Spencer Hall]

This episode?

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Michael Serber]

Marcus. Wait, no, he couldn't be himself.

[Jason Kirk]

I feel like he was the first name I heard when I logged on.

[Michael Serber]

What's the other lifeline that I get?

[Ryan]

You can ask. You can ask. Blue sky.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, no.

[Ryan]

I want to tell you right now. You should say. You should save that for your last question if we get to it.

[Jason Kirk]

Wow.

[Ryan]

You have the hardest last question. He's at. He's at round four.

[Holly Anderson]

Okay.

[Jason Kirk]

We got a long way to go.

[Ryan]

No, we don't. I mean, yes, we do. Yes, we do.

[Holly Anderson]

This is like standing at the foot of a 40 foot wall at the end of a 400 mile journey and being like, we. We're almost there.

[Ryan]

Server. I'm going to give you one. One more bonus lifeline. You can ask Holly what. You can ask Holly for the answer to this.

[Holly Anderson]

I already said. It's Jim Thomasula.

[Michael Serber]

Jason, text Holly. What's the answer?

[Jason Kirk]

Holly, tell him it's Kirby Smart.

[Michael Serber]

Kirby Smart.

[Ryan]

That's incorrect.

[Michael Serber]

Oh, that's saboteur.

[Ryan]

Jason, who's the last team that Brent Key beat?

[Jason Kirk]

All right.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, I thought we were still on Riley Leonard and.

[Ryan]

And. And Jason, you. You also have the blue sky option left if you. If you'd like to use it.

[Holly Anderson]

Wait, so we just need to know that the last game Georgia Tech won.

[Ryan]

That is correct.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, we. We didn't go to that, did we? No, we definitely talked about this game.

[Jason Kirk]

I mean, yeah, of course. Okay, so it was.

[Holly Anderson]

It was.

[Jason Kirk]

It was between Pitt and Georgia win.

[Holly Anderson]

It was a really embarrassing win.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah, it was that one between Pitt and Georgia, wasn't it?

[Ryan]

Is that. Is that your answer?

[Holly Anderson]

There's a million team. Okay, here we go. What about this? There's a million teams in the acc, right?

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

When you're talking about teams that it's embarrassing to lose to, I feel like this one does stand out.

[Jason Kirk]

Well, that'd be Boston College.

[Ryan]

That is correct. Boston College is the last team. Break.

[Holly Anderson]

It was.

[Ryan]

All right.

[Holly Anderson]

34, 32.

[Ryan]

All right, everyone piling, you're all on team server so we can finish this game out. Who's the last coach that Riley Leonard beat?

[Jason Kirk]

So this is the semifinal of the season before last to go to the title game.

[Ryan]

Correct. Who did Notre Dame beat in that semifinal?

[Jason Kirk]

So Notre Dame beat Georgia and then they beat James Franklin.

[Ryan]

That is correct.

[Holly Anderson]

These loops are terrifying.

[Ryan]

And now your final question and the hardest question amongst the Whole group? Frankly, no. What's the last team James Franklin beat?

[Jason Kirk]

It wasn't ucla.

[Ryan]

Wasn't ucla.

[Jason Kirk]

It wasn't Northwest Oregon. It wasn't Oregon.

[Michael Serber]

They didn't they win like a.

[Jason Kirk]

There was like three absolute garbage teams.

[Holly Anderson]

I was going to say it was like of the Old Dominion ilk.

[Jason Kirk]

Their first three games last year. I think ODU was in there had to be a Mac team in there. Was there a Youngstown? No, ODU was in there. I'll say that much.

[Ryan]

OD was not one of the teams.

[Jason Kirk]

Unbelievable. Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Hang on.

[Michael Serber]

Didn't he have a decent win at

[Spencer Hall]

the beginning of the season?

[Jason Kirk]

No total can confirm he did not.

[Spencer Hall]

Straight ass.

[Ryan]

I know. I know. What all three of the. Of the. So Penn State started three and it

[Holly Anderson]

was the skid was Oregon, ucla, Northwestern.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Jason Kirk]

And before that they were just like wildly inflated based on how they'd done against who they'd played. Yeah. A. Their opener was like this. It was like a very suspect score against a like Nevada grade.

[Ryan]

Nevada is. Nevada is one of the teams they beat. Not the third, not the most, not their. Not the last James Franklin win.

[Holly Anderson]

So there's a Franklin team. So they were playing nobody to start the season. So can we. By which I mean this is where I'm asking for this lifeline. If you give us a state that this school is in, since it's probably a smaller one, can we narrow it down and it's not Nevada? Because that would feel like.

[Ryan]

Yeah, if you would like that, I'll give you that. Let me. Can I confirm something really quick?

[Jason Kirk]

You're looking up where it is.

[Ryan]

Yeah. No, I had it right. Pennsylvania.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, that could be literally anybody that. That gives us like eight to choose from.

[Ryan]

It is not Temple.

[Jason Kirk]

Youngstown.

[Ryan]

It is not. Youngstown's in Ohio.

[Jason Kirk]

Blue sky. I know that.

[Holly Anderson]

Who the Yukon.

[Ryan]

Yukon is in Pennsylvania, but it's there.

[Michael Serber]

I didn't play Pitt.

[Ryan]

It's not Pitt.

[Holly Anderson]

Nyu.

[Jason Kirk]

Villanova.

[Ryan]

Villanova is correct. Congratulations. Oh, shit. You have completed my evil game. Spencer, I'd like to congratulate you on winning. I still think you had the hardest path because it required you to have a deep knowledge of not only Iowa State, but Duke and Missouri football last season. Missouri's. You are once again the smartest and most beautiful amongst us, as I have always said and will always say. Please start the show.

[Spencer Hall]

Welcome to the Shutdown full cast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast. I am the great Database himself, Spencer hall, joined as always by.

[Ryan]

Hey, thank you all for for participating in that game. I appreciate it.

[Spencer Hall]

Joined, as always, by. By Jigsaw, the college football puppet.

[Holly Anderson]

And he's friendly.

[Spencer Hall]

Brian. Nanny.

[Jason Kirk]

Games are fun. Games are fun.

[Spencer Hall]

Games are fun. Games are fun.

[Ryan]

And now you know who James Franklin most recently beat. Isn't that useful knowledge that you can carry with you into the world?

[Michael Serber]

Stupid.

[Holly Anderson]

I just kind of assumed that you wouldn't want the show to go on without you, but it's actually kind of refreshing to see you working this hard to tear the rest of us apart

[Ryan]

on your way out.

[Jason Kirk]

Now, we all remember the Alamo forthright,

[Holly Anderson]

and I appreciate that.

[Ryan]

That's right.

[Spencer Hall]

He went to law school for a reason, folks.

[Holly Anderson]

Ryan's a nice one.

[Spencer Hall]

Joined by Jason Kirk as well, Holly Anderson and Michael Serber. I would like to go ahead and hand the mic off now that Ryan is done torturing us.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, my God. We're staying in the same city. I didn't plan this.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes, I was told to include LeBron James and nothing more.

[Holly Anderson]

Two things here. First of all, we're staying in Philadelphia, which is very funny. I want to see. And don't fake it. Don't fake it. I really want to know. This is for science. Don't do this just for attention. We'll know. We'll know if you're lying. I want to know if anybody on this show is going to find out. If anybody listening to this show is going to find out that LeBron James is going to the Sixers from this podcast. I just want to see.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And.

[Jason Kirk]

And again, honor system only.

[Holly Anderson]

Honor system only. Don't.

[Jason Kirk]

There's no clout to be gained from this.

[Holly Anderson]

You guys have been great lately. Don't. Don't disappoint. You've been making us very proud. Do not make us unproud. Also, I do think it's very funny. The reason I wanted to put this on the list is. I don't know if this is because I just saw a bunch of random Instagram posts about it that could be anything, but apparently he is going to live in New York and commute to Philly, which reminds me of one of these things we were planning on doing that we never got around to that we still should do. One day is we were going to announce our first New York City show and announce it in our favorite borough and then just do it in Philly. It's in our favorite part of town in a secret location in our absolute favorite part of New York. And then we were just gonna go to Philly and do the show there. So he's just like us in a lot of ways, that's all.

[Ryan]

I think. In all ways.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, yeah. We're basically indistinguishable. Anyway, please let us know if this is how you found out.

[Ryan]

The full cast has moved to many different partners. Much as LeBron has

[Holly Anderson]

tried to win a championship.

[Ryan]

LeBron is the only basketball player in the same way that this is the only college football.

[Jason Kirk]

We often get accused of ring chasing and just stacking loaded game teams.

[Holly Anderson]

And we are also in various stages of decrepitude.

[Jason Kirk]

The, like, most cursed NBA franchise is like, oh, what a front runner joining the Philadelphia 76 we have.

[Ryan]

Okay, first of all, first of all, the most cursed NBA franchise is definitely the Atlanta Hawks.

[Spencer Hall]

I was gonna say, man,

[Ryan]

the Atlanta Hawks just traded away the first overall draft break from a couple years ago. And the reaction was, who is that guy? I've never heard of.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah, we didn't really want him anyways. Zach Harper said it was a good trade. Like, it's not cursed. It's not. It's not bad enough.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's cursed. Yeah, you're right.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah, but like, the Sixers, like, their best player for years gets hurt. He plays like eight minutes a game. And they just got swept by the team they hate most with all that team's fans in their building, like, and haven't won a title in decades despite caring about it. That's the difference with the Hawks.

[Spencer Hall]

There was a time of the Hawks

[Jason Kirk]

don't have a championship in their Atlanta history, but nobody really cares. I don't care. I've been a Hawks fan my whole life. I don't care.

[Spencer Hall]

There was a time of real guerrilla marketing in Atlanta for sports teams. Kind of a golden age of it that Adult Swim kicked off when they realized advertising could be fun and did not have to necessarily live on the screen. This did lead, of course, to the shutdown of the Boston metro system when Aqua Teen Hunger Force left illuminated signs that people mistook for explosives.

[Jason Kirk]

See our upcoming Patreon episodes for more on this.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, that did happen. But one. And you know, like, can we just

[Ryan]

real quick, what was the conversation where some Boston cop was like, I don't know, might be a bomb.

[Michael Serber]

Oh, come on.

[Spencer Hall]

They're cops. They're cops. Come on. It wasn't hard.

[Ryan]

He just wanted to use the bomb robot to say you wanted to use the bomb robot.

[Spencer Hall]

They didn't say bomb. You know what they said? It appears to be some kind of improvised electronic explosive. I really notional device.

[Holly Anderson]

It looks like a light bright With a moon and night on it. Which also, if you have one of these somewhere and you're here in town. Yeah, I'll pay stupid amounts.

[Jason Kirk]

You know, out here on the front lines of the war on terror, we need one of them big tanks.

[Spencer Hall]

I'm gonna be like Mark, you. I'm gonna be like Mark Wahlberg here. Not today. Not here.

[Ryan]

And unfortunately, this incident predates the Hurt Locker. So we can't even say like, oh, I just saw this movie. It's on my mind now. I see bombs everywhere.

[Jason Kirk]

I got send off, att2d2 down there to get rid of the fucking Globot.

[Spencer Hall]

I got PTSD from the Sox bombing

[Michael Serber]

out of the playoffs again.

[Spencer Hall]

I don't need this. Shut the trains down.

[Ryan]

Shut them down.

[Spencer Hall]

I need a. You know what I need? I need a The Town style. The Departed style movie just about that day, right, where there's some.

[Jason Kirk]

The Race Against Time.

[Spencer Hall]

The Race Against Time to go get the Moon and Night sign.

[Ryan]

I would watch a 24 season made.

[Holly Anderson]

A fucking Richard Jewell movie.

[Jason Kirk]

I want the, like Dunkin Donuts supply chain that immediately sprung up the emergency donkey chain.

[Michael Serber]

Christ.

[Spencer Hall]

Christ, Carol, I know we're getting divorced, but I've been awake for seven hours. I can't keep up with this.

[Ryan]

Some cop made like 10 grand in overtime.

[Spencer Hall]

Boys, we got to keep this overtime up. I gotta get. I gotta get back out to the Cape this summer.

[Jason Kirk]

Our top minds are looking into this thing.

[Holly Anderson]

Let's. Let's be. Hang on. Let's. Let's. Let's strive for equality here in this one thing. If I got a chance to do that at work, I would do all kinds of dumb to make sure I got to do that at work.

[Jason Kirk]

Sure.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. Also I want the scene where they explain what it is to somebody. So these are moon.

[Holly Anderson]

And I'm saying is. The structures are up. You're saying I get overtime and I get time to use the device? No, no, I'm going to do whatever I can to make sure I get

[Spencer Hall]

to do critical support to our pyromaniac Boston cops.

[Holly Anderson]

In theory, I'm saying this is a systemic failure or a systemic opportunity.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, I think systemic opportunity is the way I'm going to look at it. Yeah, this is. I really. This was a time when you could do marketing. It would be fun. In this period in Atlanta, Mitch Hedberg did radio ads for the Predators when they were here. Right. In the series of ads called Hockey Love. You should go look them up. They're quite entertaining. But the Hawks decided to get on this. And the Hawks took their mascot, and Harry the Hawk, he kind of looks like the San Diego Chicken. Like, he's kind of like, does he have hair? Feathers? Yes, he has some feathers.

[Holly Anderson]

That's not what I said.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, no, but I think that the

[Jason Kirk]

question is how hair is feathers.

[Holly Anderson]

I was just wondering why they didn't go with, like, Howie or, you know, Henry.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Spencer Hall]

I'm not sure why.

[Holly Anderson]

They could have. They could have named him. You know, it. They could have named him Hank Hammer. Hammer and Hawk.

[Spencer Hall]

Like, most things in the Hawk's history.

[Jason Kirk]

Well, I'm assuming, like, most things in Atlanta sports, it's a riff on uga, I would guess.

[Spencer Hall]

Sure. So they had him just go around town to raise awareness for the Hawks on a. On a, like, dirt bike. So they just had him going around town. And the problem was that I was, at the time going to grad school at Georgia Tech, where he would run sort of laps up and down Marietta, and you would be walking, and people did not know who he was. So they would go, wow, that's a guy in a chicken costume on a motorcycle. That's crazy. And I'd be like, that's the Hawks mascot. And they were like, what?

[Jason Kirk]

Who?

[Spencer Hall]

So for a while, like, three months, they just had him tearing ass around downtown, waving at people, and no one knew.

[Jason Kirk]

I mean, and, like, part of the thing is, like, if you see somebody Atlanta, like, on a motorized vehicle dressed as an animal, that's, like, that might be Shaq. Yeah, that's a dude in a motorized. On a motorized vehicle dressed like an animal. There's no reason to assume it's a.

[Holly Anderson]

It's Tuesday.

[Ryan]

I am. I am only disappointed that somebody didn't get the idea. Wait. I will acquire a similar mascot costume and dirt bike, and I will rob banks in it because no one will see me coming or think of anything when I'm driving through town as this chicken master.

[Jason Kirk]

They'll be like, oh, what a clever Hawks promotion this is.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

Better hand him all our money.

[Spencer Hall]

I mean, that's an easy carjacking, right? If you want my car and you're dressed up like Harry the Hawk, just take it.

[Jason Kirk]

He needs it.

[Spencer Hall]

I'm doing this for the story, brother.

[Jason Kirk]

He needs it for government National.

[Ryan]

Kyle Korver needs your car, brother. Give it over.

[Jason Kirk]

Being commandeered. We have to defeat the Grizzlies.

[Ryan]

Al Horford has to eat this car. Give it to me right now.

[Spencer Hall]

Joe John. Joe Johnson actually does not need his car.

[Ryan]

Needs to shoot basketballs at your car. Till it explodes like a street fighter.

[Michael Serber]

Mid level.

[Jason Kirk]

Joe Johnson's truck needs to eat this car.

[Holly Anderson]

McCollum is like Tinkerbell, and if you don't give him this car, it means you don't believe in him and he'll die.

[Ryan]

Dwight Howard needs to have sex in this car.

[Jason Kirk]

Dwight Howard can't fit in that.

[Spencer Hall]

You gotta believe in C.J.

[Michael Serber]

mcCollum.

[Holly Anderson]

Tinker ball there.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, that's. I'm totally. I'm doing that for the story. They'll be like, what happened to your car? And I'm like, I gave it to the Hawks mascot. Get a gun.

[Jason Kirk]

I mean, again, this all sounds like, you know, some. That could happen.

[Spencer Hall]

I think we could make it happen. Hi, Hawks. If you're listening to this, these Hawks

[Ryan]

Magic City hoodies are going for a pretty penny on ebay. I'll tell you what, how am I

[Spencer Hall]

going to tell my child about Magic City with the smile on my face

[Ryan]

anyway?

[Holly Anderson]

Your dad told you in a court monitored custody visit.

[Spencer Hall]

That's right.

[Ryan]

That's why LeBron's on the Sixers.

[Spencer Hall]

That's right.

[Holly Anderson]

I hope that we have brought news to some of you.

[Spencer Hall]

That is it. I can't wait to inform somebody of, like, the death of a dignitary of some sort.

[Jason Kirk]

Haven't we done that?

[Ryan]

I think we did.

[Jason Kirk]

Somebody find out about the Queen from us.

[Spencer Hall]

Is this good? This is. Is this a good information environment?

[Michael Serber]

It's better.

[Jason Kirk]

It's better than others. It's better than the other one.

[Holly Anderson]

Listen, I'm gonna. I'm gonna do something real quick right here because Reddit is bad. Our Reddit is very good. I'm gonna take a quick. I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this. I'm gonna take a quick spin through news stories that our readers choose to put in our Reddit and you tell me if we're in a good information environment. I know what you meant, but I mean us specifically. We're in a great information environment. Here's the past, like, three days of Reddit stories on shutdown fullcast Reddit Coast Guard investigating unusual find at North Avenue beach. This appears to be a boat that is driven onto land. Pistol Pete's job. Google AI is Google AI is a liar.

[Michael Serber]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Norman City Council to consider Dr. Pepper's Fansville theme for Water Tower.

[Spencer Hall]

Okay.

[Holly Anderson]

The official river cruise of the full cast. Tulsa to Memphis Accurate story about Luis Carrero Blanco, story about the Lawnmower Championships and story about the Kentucky meat shower of 1876. Our information environment is fantastic.

[Spencer Hall]

I Stand corrected.

[Holly Anderson]

The Internet is bad, but our part of it is very good.

[Ryan]

Oh, but how will I learn about Notre Dame's New Jersey patch if you don't need to know? It's not important.

[Spencer Hall]

Doesn't matter.

[Jason Kirk]

You'll see it on tv.

[Ryan]

You'll see it.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. They paid the money so that somebody has to say into a mic, the monster energy big 12.

[Ryan]

That's. You know what? That's what money is for.

[Spencer Hall]

That's what money's for.

[Ryan]

That's what money is for.

[Michael Serber]

Mm.

[Spencer Hall]

That's it. I don't have to do it. That's what the money's for.

[Ryan]

But if Monster Energy wants to pay

[Jason Kirk]

you, you will start applying it to

[Holly Anderson]

every other conference and see if Monster Energy.

[Jason Kirk]

I like that idea. I like that idea.

[Ryan]

I think. I think. Listen, I don't want to speak for everyone here. I think the shutdown full cast would take $4 million to be the Monster Energy shutdown full cast.

[Jason Kirk]

I. I do like Holly's idea. We will take seven figures.

[Michael Serber]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

We'll say in. In the seven figures in order to stop referring as every. To every non big 12 conference as the Monster Energy.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Holly Anderson]

You won't have brand clarity without us.

[Jason Kirk]

So Notre Dame is Monster Energy independent.

[Michael Serber]

I don't. I don't mean to undermine your business dealings, but for a mere fee of like $25,000, I will change my name to Monster Energy. My local server. I reach out to me directly.

[Holly Anderson]

Server.

[Michael Serber]

Server on Blue sky and l underscore Cerberino other places. Yes.

[Jason Kirk]

That does not detract from our deal. I find it additive.

[Holly Anderson]

I think that's in every show notes.

[Ryan]

Can I ask a few follow up questions? Server.

[Michael Serber]

Absolutely.

[Ryan]

Well, you're given like will do you. How do you want to be addressed in that? Do you still want to be called Michael? Do you want to be called.

[Michael Serber]

I think Monster? I believe you know. You know you're the loy. Monster.

[Holly Anderson]

Server Senior.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Michael Serber]

You're the lawyer here. But I'm sure there will be some language involved in this contract. That means that you and everyone else will have to refer to me as Monster Energy Michael Ray Serber or face the wrath of their legal team. I. I mean, I don't. I don't know what to tell you, but 25k we think Spencer. I get a decent C5 for that. Another one Parts car. Yeah.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

So. So I think.

[Michael Serber]

Hit me up.

[Jason Kirk]

Monster Ray. Are you keeping like your entire name? Do we have to say all five words every time we talk to you?

[Michael Serber]

I believe so.

[Ryan]

Monster Ray. Serberji. That's what he's called.

[Jason Kirk]

Can we just call you Monster Energy?

[Michael Serber]

Sure, sure. I think, you know, if, if my name is there, it's implied, but if you just say, you need to say Delicious Monster Energy.

[Ryan]

Delicious Monster Energy, Michael Racer.

[Jason Kirk]

Delicious and energizing. Like when I need a nutritious before a full overnight shift of gaming.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

I make sure to pop the top on a delicious monster before I check

[Ryan]

in at the Halo factory.

[Michael Serber]

Yeah. Monster Energy, Michael Ray Serber. The official drink of hearts of iron.

[Ryan]

So

[Spencer Hall]

are you going to the gaming factory in 2 and 20,000.

[Holly Anderson]

2004.

[Ryan]

Listen, buddy, Halo's coming back.

[Jason Kirk]

Halo, Halo. Halo. I just looked this up the other day. Halo right now is one of the top five high most lucrative games going on right now.

[Holly Anderson]

That's right.

[Ryan]

You don't understand blue collar gamers like me.

[Jason Kirk]

Not believe it, but all those folks are, when they clock in for their 1am shifts, they are heavy on that

[Ryan]

monster Elites playing your New York Times games. You know about Real America.

[Michael Serber]

Master Chief. Monster Energy, Michael.

[Jason Kirk]

Monster Energy. Master Chief.

[Spencer Hall]

These birds keep coming.

[Jason Kirk]

They're both weird colors of green.

[Holly Anderson]

Emmy McMrs.

[Ryan]

This is my daughter Cortana.

[Spencer Hall]

Oh, we got. Listen, I need to look.

[Jason Kirk]

Monster Energy Skyrim.

[Spencer Hall]

I had no idea of the popularity of Halo that it was.

[Jason Kirk]

Halo's still in the league.

[Spencer Hall]

Oh, man, all the shit.

[Jason Kirk]

Counter strike was number one. I could not fucking believe it.

[Ryan]

People are still.

[Spencer Hall]

Oh, wow.

[Jason Kirk]

People are still on that counter strike. I mean, still have not defeated the terrorists. How many could there possibly be?

[Ryan]

They're still in that plane.

[Jason Kirk]

Honestly, it's like, you know that thing

[Holly Anderson]

about like

[Jason Kirk]

when you do an act of quote fingers counterterrorism, you eventually engender more terrorists. And like I think this game proves it, man. They have not solved the problem via the conventional methods that this game has been deploying. They need to turn to diplomacy and understanding.

[Spencer Hall]

One day I'm going to kill all the leaf blowers. One day.

[Jason Kirk]

I was wondering what that was.

[Holly Anderson]

This is for longtime listeners. This is in fact the leaf blowers of the neighbor next door to me who blows leaves directly from their yard into my yard.

[Ryan]

Do you think they have a podcast where they're like, all right, today I'll be blowing leaves in those yard again.

[Jason Kirk]

I think it feels like a YouTube how to leaf blow your driveway.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

For 50 minutes, move all of the leaves into a pile into your yard and I'm going to put a giant concrete block in it and just hope that you, you or your kids jump into It.

[Ryan]

I think, I think leaf blowing is a good reminder that like many of the like labors of yesteryear are actually that. That seemed like a punishment. Like I, you know, like having your liver torn out and grown back by an eagle and grown back. Like, I think we look at that and be like, oh, what a punishment. But I bet fast. He was like, oh, this feels great. I love this. Oh, it's time for livery.

[Jason Kirk]

That. That does sound like yard. Yard work. But like speaking of a droning noise that accomplishes nothing. Michael Lombardi is on administrative leave at UNC now for an HR thing. And there's.

[Ryan]

There's.

[Jason Kirk]

There's some like some. Some nil money thing or something or other.

[Holly Anderson]

It sounds like he was. I think coaches were. Would call it multiple.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah, it sounds like, you know, it's. This is going to sound crazy, but it sounds like he kind of never bothered to learn how college football works. I realize that is. That was a shocker and is not at all what we would have predicted two years ago. What I love about this doesn't appear

[Holly Anderson]

to be the thing that Spencer said it was or that Spencer thought it might be.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, I. I thought it would. Was because he was sharing racist AI memes.

[Ryan]

No, it could still be that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it could.

[Holly Anderson]

It's connected to in there.

[Jason Kirk]

It's connected to an HR thing. So like they'll. They'll, you know, they'll find whatever they want.

[Ryan]

The only mistake you can make when talking about UNC is to think, well, they just have the one problem.

[Holly Anderson]

UNC is a yes.

[Jason Kirk]

And as we've discussed in another Patreon episode on amateurism, UNC is always every problem.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh wait, can we check? Does this qualify as a story stream update for the

[Jason Kirk]

on right now?

[Spencer Hall]

I had somebody ask if we could update it somehow.

[Holly Anderson]

We can't update it.

[Jason Kirk]

Yes, we can. We can.

[Holly Anderson]

Sure.

[Jason Kirk]

We can upload a new file. We could do that. We won't, but we might.

[Holly Anderson]

We could.

[Ryan]

I did enjoy that week where around ACC Media days in the spirit of like, okay, let's not live in the past where everybody was like, I don't know, maybe UNC is. Maybe it will be okay. Maybe things will be normal at uncle.

[Jason Kirk]

Maybe.

[Ryan]

Maybe.

[Michael Serber]

Fake.

[Holly Anderson]

Lest we forget, it's not indirectly in his. His line of supervision, but we are one step closer to a Bobby takeover.

[Jason Kirk]

I. Yes. And also the thing about losing your GM in July in the single portal. The portal is January era. You can't fix it. There's. There is no current problem that this Fixes your roster is. Michael Lombardi's roster is the one you're going into battle with. This is good for next season, but nothing can be fixed right now.

[Ryan]

I bet Michael Lombardi reported himself to HR once he learned that Dublin doesn't have Italian food. He was like, no, absolutely not.

[Spencer Hall]

They'll never take me tone. It's called college football. College.

[Holly Anderson]

I. I wonder. I do want to see if I'm not enough of a gambler to know if this is a thing. I do want to see if any of the lines on UNC have moved in favor of them winning more games now that he's on leave.

[Spencer Hall]

They have to.

[Ryan]

That would be gambling on you.

[Holly Anderson]

Like, as with, like, as with Bobby. Like, you know, he's. He's not, he's. He's not a. He's not a playmaking coach, a play calling coach. So, you know, the, the downstream effects are going to be harder to see. But I feel better about UNC than I did like 3 days ago, don't you?

[Spencer Hall]

I'm like giving him half a game.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah, I feel better about UNC 2027.

[Spencer Hall]

But current. Current, US current. You know what? Maybe I'm just giving him an. Giving them an aura buff for him not being around.

[Jason Kirk]

This pizza is in the oven already. Someone else can prepare better pizza next time.

[Holly Anderson]

So, man, I just thought about a domino's tracker that you can't turn off or escape.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah. Again, we're using Italian terms for. For.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

As appropriate, I will say.

[Spencer Hall]

So the thing, there is an HR investigation. There is also an investigation as to whether they have violated some sort of nil rules under the csc. That is a very funny mention to me. Because of what rules?

[Jason Kirk]

Right, right, right, right.

[Spencer Hall]

Fuck up, son.

[Jason Kirk]

This I. We're catching whiffs of. Like, I would be interested to know how many schools could be busted for this stuff if someone wanted them to be. I think it feels like one where the CSC is like, since it's been launched, just this huge joke. But like Michael Lombardi has somehow flown too close to the sun that doesn't exist is sort of what I'm gathering.

[Ryan]

Yeah, he's like, he's empty bathtub, he's

[Holly Anderson]

on the Icarus plus plan.

[Jason Kirk]

Like, we know he did not understand college sports money. Like based on how their nil was getting hurled around in year one and then like year two is just sort of like, let's bring in 7,000 high schoolers in the the portal era. So like nothing would be surprising. But like at the same Time it's like, do you really get in trouble with the CFC unless you're trying very hard? And B, unless someone wants you to be.

[Holly Anderson]

Also. Also, I'm not sure how many people know. This will definitely be news to some people. And again, this isn't really true. And again, this is because of Bobby Petrino. His kid's the quarterbacks coach still.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

And not really because Bobby's there, but he's there.

[Ryan]

I'd like to share this one reaction from Chris Mueller, who's a radio host in Pittsburgh. Sports radio host. After this news came out, we had Michael Lombardi on the show a few times. I have done lots of interviews with people I probably wouldn't want to hang out with, but who were totally professional slash informative guests. Michael was neither.

[Holly Anderson]

I like that he dropped this immediately like.

[Ryan]

Like it was in drafts.

[Jason Kirk]

A quote I put in today's newsletter came from Bruce Feldman. He said Lombardi should have been getting his salary with a ski mask on.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes.

[Ryan]

Y.

[Holly Anderson]

Okay. When Bruce says something. Right. Right. When Bruce says that about you, man, you up.

[Spencer Hall]

The last person I can remember him saying that about was Charlie Weiss. We're in that kind of territory here.

[Jason Kirk]

And it feels like there's a parallel here.

[Holly Anderson]

I am not saying that Bruce is a coddler of coaches. Right, right. I am. I am saying that, like, Bruce is not a guy who trash talks people under his byline. This is when.

[Jason Kirk]

When Bruce sounds like us, somebody has fucked up.

[Holly Anderson]

Yes. Correct.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Bruce is a somber and serious analyst. When he's calling you names you up.

[Ryan]

Spencer, do you happen to know where Mike Lombardi ranks amongst college football general managers in terms of pay?

[Spencer Hall]

He is the highest paid general manager in college football at one point, I believe. 1.5 million, like million dollars.

[Ryan]

Horrible at it.

[Jason Kirk]

Like not just mid at it. Horrible at it.

[Ryan]

Do you know how many moon nights neons you could blow up with $1.5 million?

[Spencer Hall]

Do you know how many Boston.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Boston Police overtime.

[Spencer Hall]

The search for overtime.

[Jason Kirk]

That's like a day of Boston cops eating donuts.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Spencer Hall]

That is the highest paid manager. And he's absolutely. But

[Jason Kirk]

like.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

Genuinely average person contributing and. Or listening to the show would have done better.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

Just looking at 2247. You would have probably auto draft. Yes.

[Holly Anderson]

The next.

[Jason Kirk]

Again, if you auto drafted unc, I will take his job for half of his salary and Monster energy will become

[Holly Anderson]

with me philosophical question. Does this. I mean, I guess he can be the. The. He can be our exception that proves the rule. This puts a real torpedo in the side of the good hang theory for Lombardi. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Oh, wait, wait. Was the theory that Lombardi was a

[Jason Kirk]

good hang for Belichick? Apparently.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah, that's what I mean.

[Holly Anderson]

For Bill.

[Ryan]

Okay, maybe. But I've never thought of Bill as a good hang.

[Jason Kirk]

Right. He matches his energy. I like this. He's an just like me.

[Holly Anderson]

Okay, that makes. Thank you.

[Jason Kirk]

This guy's pretty cool. He's really horrible.

[Holly Anderson]

That was. That was gonna shatter my world.

[Ryan]

Okay, that. Yeah, that I can get with.

[Jason Kirk]

I just can't stand when people are, like, charming and I'm.

[Holly Anderson]

I.

[Jason Kirk]

They expect. They expect that out of me.

[Holly Anderson]

Say no more, familia.

[Jason Kirk]

So I just like someone. I just like someone I really hate to be around me because I hate myself as well. Just so you.

[Spencer Hall]

Just so you know. Okay, originally the thing I thought he was getting fired for, which was fair.

[Holly Anderson]

Guess which was.

[Ryan]

And which. We have not. We have not ruled it out.

[Holly Anderson]

No, but I think. I don't think that was. I talked to a cup. I did a tiny, tiny bit of checking around and whatever. Whatever kicked it off it like this might end up being in the wood pile. But whatever kicked it off, it wasn't this.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

And I think Spencer made a fair assumption, because whenever we hear about Michael Lombardi, the first thing any of us in any wise person does is go check that man's Instagram, which remains a freak show.

[Spencer Hall]

So he has removed them as of recording. And his videos that he has reached that he has reposted are strictly UNC based. However, the ones that I think Mike Lombardi was born in 1959, as we all know, if you were born before, say, 1990, you have no antibodies to the Internet. It can creep into your brain, it can lay eggs, and then soon you will be less a person and more a shell of your former self, regurgitating like hot brained fantasies disconnected from all reality. Okay. Attached to the simplest sentiment. Mike Lombardi is the case. All right. Case one for me of this because yes, there is a video in here about. It's an obviously an AI lady who's probably scamming people like Mike Lombardi. I am guessing she took somewhere between 7 million off of Mike Lombardi.

[Jason Kirk]

He's got it.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. Because he does have it to spend. But he did repost a video of an AI lady saying, my date refused to eat my ass. Basically peach emoji. All because he suddenly saw that blank with a caption that made no sense in that AI way.

[Holly Anderson]

Right.

[Spencer Hall]

Like many people fulfill, but not. And when needs Meet I often overwhelm. But in the like that kind of prose. Right. That's gone now, sadly. That account also had some of the most racist shit you will ever see on Instagram, which really says something. But then I just want to share two others. Two others that to me indicate that this person needs to be committed. Right.

[Holly Anderson]

Lombardi or the Italian AI Lombardi.

[Spencer Hall]

Lombardi specifically needs to. Has fully microwave brained his life. Okay. Because one there is a heavily captured.

[Holly Anderson]

I don't know if she was Italian. I just think she's Italian because she was appended to him. Like his Italian ness has a corona that. That diffuses into people around him there.

[Spencer Hall]

There are two other videos that to me indicate that he should probably be Baker acted. He should not be allowed on the Internet. He should probably be observed for his own welfare because he has fully microwave memed himself right on the Internet. And it is this one. It is an AI video of an. A bald eagle's nest falling from a telephone pole. And the protagonist camera perspective POV saving bald eagle eggs where the bald eagle goes to the balcony of the person trying to save them and watches them as they warm the eggs in the oven to try to save as they warm.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, okay.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah, yeah.

[Spencer Hall]

Like the father showed up. Like, it's that dumb. And the comments I went and looked at.

[Ryan]

I'm not the step eagle.

[Spencer Hall]

Right. Such an inspiring patriotic story. And like it's obviously AI it's bad. There's people with like nine fingers on each hand in this video. And Mike Lombardi is like repost. That's valuable content. I think he's actually functioning sub 100 IQ at this point. I don't think he was too far above that.

[Holly Anderson]

Just got through with ACC mania days.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

We got to get Lombardi into a conservatorship.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

My project's not great. It keeps going towards the boss in

[Spencer Hall]

Monsters, Inc. Like, and the second Lombardi.

[Jason Kirk]

That's good.

[Spencer Hall]

That's good.

[Holly Anderson]

Finish your paperwork. Sorry.

[Ryan]

The second, as seen in the documentary Monsters, Inc. Unc Football will be powered by children's screams.

[Spencer Hall]

Monsters, Inc. Is about Sharia law infiltrating our schools. That's what it's about.

[Ryan]

Mike Lombardi would absolutely be like, here are the coaching lessons I took for Monsters, Inc.

[Spencer Hall]

I think it's very important to note that somebody could be competent at a younger age and then could have become the dumbest old motherfucker you've ever met in your life.

[Ryan]

I don't think. Listen.

[Holly Anderson]

Evidence that we have that he was.

[Michael Serber]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I appreciate Your generosity of spirit. But I don't think that's the order.

[Spencer Hall]

Remember Al Davis, when firing him, said, he does have some talent. I think that was it. No, he did. No, he's sitting there and he's going, michael Lombardi is terrible at his job.

[Jason Kirk]

Right?

[Spencer Hall]

No, he didn't say.

[Jason Kirk]

There was the quote. So one of them. Lovardi has hitched his wagons. One of them was Stu Belichick. Before that was to Bill Walsh. Pablo Torre had on Bill Walsh's son who was like, yeah, Michael Lombardi was like the chauffeur. So maybe he's a great driver.

[Spencer Hall]

He claims he found Charles Haley. He did not.

[Michael Serber]

He makes a great sauce. He's got a great sauce.

[Holly Anderson]

I. I really think this just means that, like, Mike Lombardi beat Al Davis at Guitar Hero one time.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

You should hear him play Mississippi Queen. He can't read.

[Ryan]

But I am. I don't trust Mike Lombardi with a straight razor to slice the onions, the garlic. Realize don't trust that at all.

[Holly Anderson]

She's gonna come back with missing one knuckle on everything.

[Ryan]

Hey, I hope you like fingerprints in the sauce.

[Michael Serber]

I thought he put too many fingerprints

[Ryan]

in the sauce, but it was a good sauce.

[Holly Anderson]

Mike's wife. Mike's wife got him a mandolin.

[Ryan]

Now they'll never. Now they'll never connect me to those mood and nights.

[Holly Anderson]

We're gonna have to go up to the gold level of insurance coverage just to cover Lombardi's goddamn urgent.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah.

[Spencer Hall]

So he's.

[Ryan]

He's basically all. His salary is workman's comp. At this point. It's all fingers.

[Spencer Hall]

Your honor. I produce as my second piece of evidence that he should be quarantined for his own good and all major decisions taken out of his hands and put into an executors. The reposting treatment. The reposting of a heavily captioned. As if the source material required additional explanation. Two and a Half Men video sped up.

[Holly Anderson]

Wait, sped up.

[Spencer Hall]

So there's.

[Holly Anderson]

This is a Two and a Half Men video. That's from after Charlie Sheen left.

[Spencer Hall]

That's right. It's not even. It's not even prime Two and a Half Men.

[Holly Anderson]

No, no. This is like Two and a Half Men, the new class.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. When you stuck through it, you're like, I'm gonna see what's up. I think they probably.

[Holly Anderson]

Characters are so cool. Compelling.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

Just. That's just Two Men.

[Spencer Hall]

So. Yeah. The. And. And. Heavily captioned and. Yeah. And supposed to be. And they've taken all of this. The breath out of it. All of the, like, pauses and everything. Because, you know, I think the problem with Two and a Half Men is that it was inaccessibly small.

[Jason Kirk]

They done made some like, hyper pop. Two and a half.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes.

[Michael Serber]

Oh, it's a Gilmore Girls two and a half, folks.

[Jason Kirk]

See our Patreon episode on Gilmore Girls.

[Holly Anderson]

It's very weird. Like, edited this video.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. So, yeah, I think he should probably be committed to an institution or put into it.

[Ryan]

Oh, he's working hard. He's working hard every day.

[Jason Kirk]

He was definitely committed to the institution called the University of North Carolina.

[Spencer Hall]

That's right. The 33rd NFL team. I've heard of them.

[Ryan]

He's definitely not watching YouTube videos about how Time Cop is real. I don't know why you'd say he's working very hard for UNC football every time day.

[Spencer Hall]

He probably does think Time Cop is real.

[Ryan]

Time Cop is real. Time Cop is real. Time Cop is real.

[Holly Anderson]

Time Cube is fake.

[Spencer Hall]

But yeah, that's. I was like, oh, man, this is. We need some sort of boomer. Some sort of boomer, Instagram or Facebook actor. Like, it's enough for you. That's it. You're done.

[Holly Anderson]

Like baby gates.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Or electrified fences to keep out deer. Like their phone.

[Ryan]

Give him one of those, like, small

[Holly Anderson]

but potent electric shock.

[Ryan]

Give one of those, like Fisher Price smartphones. That just makes noise. Oh, here you go, coach. All right. You're. You're on the case.

[Jason Kirk]

I see, I see, I see your rank. 750th in the state of North Carolina. We'll give you $200 million to come play football here. What do you say?

[Spencer Hall]

What do you play?

[Holly Anderson]

Check out my. My meme stocks this morning. The cow says move

[Ryan]

C is for calzone. That's good enough for me.

[Jason Kirk]

I was talking to my racist AI lady and she.

[Holly Anderson]

Go get yourself a piece of candy.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. That man was the highest paid shut

[Holly Anderson]

down, full cast as long. But it always bends towards the Green Goblin.

[Ryan]

Don't say was cuz he's not fired and he's still getting paid paid lease.

[Jason Kirk]

He is.

[Ryan]

He is the highest general manager.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, I assume that. Like, I assume that the racist stuff on his Instagram is what got him paid leave and unpaid leave. Because this is UNC's administration we're talking about.

[Ryan]

Do you think Bill Belichick was able to hold back laughter when the administration was like, listen, you'll be without his services. Do you think that will be. Do you think you'll be able.

[Jason Kirk]

This is his guy, though.

[Holly Anderson]

This is where I bring the good hang theory. Question again. Does Bill think he's doing a good job?

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, I do.

[Jason Kirk]

He has thought that he has done a good job before, and the fact

[Holly Anderson]

that he's still here suggests that there's evidence that Bill Belichick thinks he's doing a good job.

[Ryan]

I, I, I find it increasingly hard to believe that Bill Belichick gives.

[Holly Anderson]

I would say he gave his son a job coaching the quarterbacks.

[Jason Kirk]

I think Bill Belichick does believe that because Bill Belichick hired him. Therefore, how could he be bad at the job if he was hired by Bill Belichick?

[Ryan]

Do you. But do you think that was a choice of intentionality, or was it like, Mike Lombardi's always up my. I don't know. He's a journal manager. Yeah, Mike can do it.

[Jason Kirk]

That's why you need to get this guy.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, Brian. Yeah, he's gonna be on the team, too. Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

This guy keeps crawling out of his playpen to do a stupid podcasts, and he keeps.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Steve. Steve's here.

[Jason Kirk]

Here. Waste this pile of money. Give it to a bunch of kids who would.

[Ryan]

Bob Diaco locked himself in the garage. He could be a Coach.

[Jason Kirk]

I need 70 FCS players in Chapel Hill right now. Mike, you're on the job.

[Spencer Hall]

It's fine.

[Ryan]

It's fine. Nature of means is here for some reason. Give a joke.

[Spencer Hall]

Bobby Petrino. Just in the walls, man. Just in the walls.

[Jason Kirk]

Who the is that? I don't know.

[Ryan]

Like, none of this feels like, oh, coach went through the Rolodex and really made some hard. No, I think. Yeah, I don't know. He's here.

[Spencer Hall]

No one said I had to do a goddamn thing.

[Ryan]

I don't know. Wes Welker is a team doctor.

[Spencer Hall]

You know what? I trust Julian Edelman with basic wounds. I'm not saying anything invasive, but Edelman on attitude, that's an ER doc, right? He shows up and he's like, hey, this is pretty fucked up.

[Ryan]

All right, cool. Hey, man, this is gonna hurt.

[Spencer Hall]

If Julian Edelman. If Julian Edelman were your emt. I'm feeling pretty good about the situation. If he's my neurosurgeon, just hand me the gun. Hand me the gun.

[Holly Anderson]

But if he's an emt.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. If Michael. If Mike Lombardi is my neurosurgeon, hand me the gun. I'm killing everyone in the room.

[Ryan]

I don't. I think you're actually fine. I don't think he's gonna figure out I think he's gonna get distracted on his phone.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, oh, man.

[Ryan]

There's a new lasagna quotes account I gotta follow. I'll be back. Leave it behind.

[Spencer Hall]

There was one.

[Ryan]

I don't want to miss lasagna quotes. These are the best ones. It says best lasagna quotes. Why can it.

[Spencer Hall]

Oh, get a look at this.

[Ryan]

Oh, there's too much good on the Internet.

[Holly Anderson]

The good thing about Lombardi's Instagram is that we cannot tell jokes about it. We can't. We can't do better than what's already there.

[Jason Kirk]

Hey, Bill. Hey, Bill.

[Ryan]

They invented racist lasagna.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, man.

[Ryan]

They got garlic bread and classic cars. That's a great account. I gotta follow. Smash that. Follow more, more, more, more, more, more. Keep it coming on.

[Holly Anderson]

Bus him with the boys because he thinks it's about the Boston Buzzing. He's like, those were the days, right?

[Ryan]

What?

[Spencer Hall]

I say something?

[Holly Anderson]

Actually, now that I think about it, I can't prove that that's not what that podcast is about. Sound off in the comments.

[Spencer Hall]

I assume. I assumed it was just a positivity vibe on circle jerking. That's all it is.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, that kind of bust, right?

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah. What do you do? That's what I've always assumed.

[Holly Anderson]

I thought it was like, hey, let's remember some guys. White flight edition.

[Michael Serber]

It is.

[Spencer Hall]

Remembering some guys with your pants down. Yeah, nice job.

[Holly Anderson]

Oldies, Little nostalgia.

[Spencer Hall]

There's man. There's one account he follows. I'm sorry, there's one more that he follows.

[Holly Anderson]

It's just like, don't be. We could do three hours on this. It's funny forever.

[Spencer Hall]

Again, like, if you type like all

[Holly Anderson]

these girls in his likes, it's bottomless.

[Ryan]

Oh, best public bathrooms in New Jersey. I gotta follow this. Oh, my God, there's one he follows.

[Spencer Hall]

That is the most, like, Diners Club brained, like, luxury idiot bullshit I've ever seen in my life.

[Holly Anderson]

I'm confused. Is being marketed on Instagram at all?

[Ryan]

Oh, happy days. World War Three. That sounds good. Let's go see what that's about.

[Spencer Hall]

Like, this is a man who forever wants to be invited to the players club.

[Jason Kirk]

His following is like, this. The list of shit it suggests. He's like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Ryan]

And it's just getting the account for the city of Hoboken. I was like, this is. This is beyond parody. Oh, I gotta know what's going on already.

[Jason Kirk]

Honestly, the way he signs players and the way he follows Instagram accounts is pretty much just like, yeah, I'll take it. That's the first one I see.

[Ryan]

Gimme.

[Spencer Hall]

There's one that's like. There's one that's like. Like men's clubs. And if you look at. It's like gentlemen's clubs. And they don't mean, like strip clubs. They mean, like.

[Holly Anderson]

I mean, like smoking lounges, right?

[Spencer Hall]

Like old school smoking lounges that aristocrats would go to when they were in Singapore, London, Paris.

[Holly Anderson]

Problem, because women can't go in these places, right?

[Jason Kirk]

And then for networking.

[Spencer Hall]

And like, I looked at the account and it's like, completely fake. They're like, oh, Taylor and Smith, Wedwood Sons in London. And it's like an AI photo of, like, foggy 1898 London with some guy in a big fucking top hat and six thumbs walking in in a great coat, you know?

[Ryan]

Oh, it's Frank Sinatra as an old west fighter. Oh, I gotta. Oh, my God, that's so good. And he's got big fat titties.

[Spencer Hall]

Frank would love that.

[Jason Kirk]

Frank would have loved it. That's my close personal friend.

[Ryan]

Frank Sinatra would say if he were here, God rest his soul. Every president rented Italian.

[Holly Anderson]

Yes.

[Ryan]

Click.

[Spencer Hall]

Follow me.

[Jason Kirk]

And when me and Frank were hanging out with Bill Walsh, who also needs big titties.

[Holly Anderson]

Might I add this. This is leading me toward another philosophical path, because recruits are on Instagram too.

[Ryan]

What?

[Holly Anderson]

And maybe the answer to this is. Is met in UNC. Is given to us already in UNC's roster. But there are still players signing with UNC. Yes. What. What do the teens think of Michael Lombardi?

[Ryan]

I think they think he's an easy mark problem.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah. Pretty cool.

[Spencer Hall]

Hey, you know that teacher who was two years shy of retirement and didn't give a fuck? That's the whole program.

[Holly Anderson]

Well, but so here's the thing. If that's true, and I agree that it is, at what point does he. Do we cross some kind of Spencer, brace yourself International Dateline? At the point where he's actually getting good players again, because they know that they will not be supervised. That they know that they'll get their money and they know that they will not be supervised.

[Ryan]

I think they're like, I sold. I sold Mike Lombardi a baseball signed by John Gotti. And by that, I mean I wrote the words john Gotti on a baseball and sold it. This is $5,000.

[Spencer Hall]

I gotta follow John Gotti baseball.

[Holly Anderson]

If he sticks around through the whisper network, does he become paradoxically popular like that? Like that one professor who, like, you

[Spencer Hall]

know, lets you sleep through class, maybe yeah. Like, there's advantages to every situation. But, you know, in Dublin. Oh, man.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, God, I forgot about that. Yeah, of course I did. Because I don't know what year it is again.

[Spencer Hall]

If you just type into a search bar at any point and you're older than, say, 50. Okay. And you just type, is this real? And you include a link. Yeah. Like me. If you include Facebook or Instagram, you type, is this real? The door busts down. We come in, we take all your devices.

[Ryan]

Here we go. Here's an encyclopedia set that should have

[Holly Anderson]

you set for the rest.

[Ryan]

Here's that and a Yellow Pages. Good luck.

[Spencer Hall]

I got you. I got you a subscription to your local newspaper. Here you go. CBS Sunday Morning is on at 9am on Sunday.

[Ryan]

That's the life.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. There you go. These are. These are the only materials I'm allowing you to reference.

[Ryan]

Remember, Bill Belichick fucked that up, too.

[Holly Anderson]

Yo, man, those were the days. Christ, that feels like so long ago.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, he's messed up everything.

[Ryan]

This is dumbest in the world.

[Spencer Hall]

How's this? He's messed up everything. And Mike Lombardi is one of his mistakes, but he didn't mess up as badly as Michael. Marty, like, on an individual level, did not mess up as bad as whatever this is. Because remember, it ain't Belichick suspension. It's the administration suspension. They came in.

[Ryan]

How long did Mac Brown have that job?

[Michael Serber]

Non.

[Ryan]

Consecutive, obviously. Like Grover.

[Jason Kirk]

Seven years or something.

[Ryan]

So the first time around, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Not 10 years, including going 1 in 10 twice to start. Didn't get fired. And the second time around, six years.

[Spencer Hall]

Okay, then. It was fine.

[Ryan]

Of course it was fine.

[Jason Kirk]

His winning percentage was way better than 4 and 8.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, yeah. With whatever's coming down the pike. I mean.

[Holly Anderson]

Sorry. I know. I know. Ryan has to go. Before he goes, can we play the UNC schedule game? Come on, it's the end of July. We need a treat.

[Jason Kirk]

Let's do it.

[Holly Anderson]

We need it. We deserve this. All right, I'm. I'm gonna. I got it pulled up. You guys. You guys want to go?

[Ryan]

Yeah, I know we start in Dublin against tcu.

[Holly Anderson]

We do. But please, please list your reactions to the remaining games in various Italian noises.

[Jason Kirk]

Okay. All right.

[Holly Anderson]

Beginning with tcu Gabagool in Dublin. All right, sec. It's all right. You get to come home. You get a week off, and then you get to come home and play East Tennessee State at. I hope you enjoyed that. Because right after that, you have to go to Clemson. Clemson at noon in Mid September, then Notre Dame.

[Jason Kirk]

Ah. What do you. What do you want? What do you want?

[Holly Anderson]

Then at pit. Boom.

[Ryan]

Oh, I ate the salad

[Holly Anderson]

at Duke. All right, all right. This is the best schedule game we've ever played.

[Ryan]

Sleepy time. Syracuse at home or away?

[Holly Anderson]

Home.

[Spencer Hall]

Prego.

[Jason Kirk]

Okay.

[Holly Anderson]

Hey, okie dokie.

[Ryan]

Ms.

[Holly Anderson]

Cozy Home. Home again Miami on Halloween. At yukon. Spaghetti spaghetti at Virginia.

[Michael Serber]

Is that Tim Allen?

[Ryan]

Italian Tim Allen. Hey, you know that show did numbers

[Holly Anderson]

in Italy and at home in C. State.

[Jason Kirk]

Stuff.

[Michael Serber]

Hello.

[Holly Anderson]

What a treat. All right. Speaking of Mac Brown, Ryan had to go catch an Uber.

[Spencer Hall]

He had to go. Had to go catch an Uber.

[Jason Kirk]

Which means it's time for podcast business. Not. Not that those two things are really correlated. It's more like the show has been going for an hour and a half. So we should hit podcast.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, we should 100% hit podcast. Podcast business.

[Jason Kirk]

Our Patreon is. We're. We have multiple things in the can for you already that will be dropping there soon. And let's just say it might be multiple.

[Spencer Hall]

Multiple.

[Jason Kirk]

How's that? Patreon.com shutdown fullcast after dark looms. We'll be doing that during the football season. That's where you'll find it each Sunday morning. So, yeah, this past. We're kind of on a calendar year the thing and we've given you shit. I should have wrote down the number. Dozens. Dozens of episodes on there now.

[Holly Anderson]

If not right at 30.

[Jason Kirk]

30ish. Let's say that.

[Michael Serber]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

So yeah, strap in because here comes all the. Here comes all the darkness.

[Spencer Hall]

All the darkness. Here comes the real dark.

[Jason Kirk]

And yeah. Yeah. Patreon.com shutdownfulcast there's stuff on the way. Additionally, let's see. Home field apparel. We've. It's. So I usually do this thing where the first school I look at is one we've talked about and man, we've looked at UNC's page a lot.

[Holly Anderson]

Let's find an Italian school.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. I feel like we can focus on a different school.

[Jason Kirk]

Italian school would be none other than Idaho State, of course.

[Michael Serber]

That's right.

[Jason Kirk]

The throwing Idahoans is the first shirt I see. The next one is a tiger emerging from the, like bunker that they have.

[Holly Anderson]

That's Italian.

[Jason Kirk]

The. Yeah. There's also. Holy shit. There's a king spud style. It looks like 80s graffiti type thing going on with a. With a potato Wearing. Wearing a crown. Man, this is. I. I honestly, I just clicked on this one to be silly, but this is banging. Like every single one of these would wear. This is an Astoundingly great haul for Idaho State. The. The mountain range, the tiger with the basketball, all the hats. God damn, I didn't know you had it like this.

[Michael Serber]

Idaho Cross Country Tea the 84 Cross

[Jason Kirk]

Country T. Idaho State's got hands at homefieldapparel.com as does everyone, folks. There are I don't know how many schools again, hundreds, I think. Right. Including North Carolina and schools that have it together. @homefieldapparel.com

[Spencer Hall]

I wanted to go ahead and tell everybody about a little newsletter that Holly Anderson and I write. It's called Channel 6. And we are accelerating boldly, quickly, with immense, unstoppable speed. Maybe breaks out towards the preseason. We will be doing some college football. We're gonna do some comfortable.

[Holly Anderson]

People are working on. Or should we wait till next week?

[Spencer Hall]

Let's wait till next week. But we're working on something very large and very fun.

[Holly Anderson]

We're working on something different this year.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, something different. Something very fun that we are going to put out for you all. In the meantime, I want to tell you all these, like, comfortable lies that you can tell yourself and delusions that I think you should embrace going into the college football season. We'll also have our free weekly most

[Holly Anderson]

popular pieces from last year.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes.

[Holly Anderson]

We are returning by popular demand. The first one, if you want to go look it up, is comfortable lies to tell on a summer afternoon. Things to make yourself feel better about your football team for the year. Yeah, we're going back to that. Well, do not look directly at the football team.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, don't look at us, please.

[Holly Anderson]

Just lie to yourself.

[Spencer Hall]

Mm. $10 a month for two things a week. The solemn promise held now for five years straight.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah, I mentioned a newsletter that I work on at work. It's called Until Saturday. There's college football stuff in it two to three times a week, depending on the time of year that it is. This one was again, if you want more Michael Lombardi.

[Michael Serber]

Yep.

[Jason Kirk]

Going on there as well. Server, what's cooking?

[Michael Serber]

Yeah, best way I'm gonna avoid being upset by Clemson this year. I'm just. I'm gonna play a show during the LSU game. Just not gonna watch that.

[Jason Kirk]

Nice.

[Michael Serber]

September. September 5th at the flat Iron. You can see killer ants with wolves and wolves and wolves and wolves, as well as horse patrol. It's gonna be a. It's gonna be a really good show. Probably the coolest show we've ever played because I love those. Both of those bands, Bunch or Patrol, played our album release show. So stoked to see them. Again, by the way. Yep, we do have an album out. You can listen to it in all places. I've got CDs. A bunch of people have reached out to me on Blue Sky. Typically people are like, hey, what's the thing to do? Just [e-mail], say you want a CD and then when I get a chance, I'll shoot you a DM and we'll work all that out after that. So just let me know if you want one of those. Additionally, I help Ryan and Stephen Godfrey with Phantom island so you can subscribe to their thing, listen to them Phantom island show and hand in the Dirt's podcast to do about gardening with Michael Felder and Steven Hartzell. And you can follow us on all the things as well. That's it.

[Holly Anderson]

We should tell you that if you want to purchase exclusive Shutdown Full Cast merch, if you want yet more things to do with your dollars, copious as they are, you can visit pre ownedairboats.com which is a real website, not a trap and the home of the Shutdown full store. You will see a collection there that is called ptku, which stands for Protect Trans Kids University. And if you would like to purchase any of the Blue Sharks merch available@pre ownedairboats.com we are donating through September 30th, all of the money we make from the PTKU merch. Every dollar, every dime is going to Allianza Trans Latinx in Orange County, California. If you want to know why an organization supporting trans folks in Orange County, California needs our help, look up Orange County, California through September 30th. All of the money you spent buying Blue Sharks gear is going to go to help some of our most vulnerable siblings, cousins, neighbors and friends. So get in there. Support your Blue Sharks gear. We've got a beach towel now. It's large, it's fluffy. People seem to like it. It sold out really fast. We've actually never had an item sell out that fast on the site, but we did get that restocked. So if you couldn't find it last time, go back and check. Do it now. Do it while if you're driving, I guess you can pull over but not guess. Only if you smoke while you're doing doing so.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Thank you.

[Spencer Hall]

And this concludes podcast business.